About seventeen years ago I came to the end of a relationship and was divorced from my partner. I was feeling unhappy and desperate and it felt like we were stuck in our relationship.
It was like we had an arrangement but there was no love in how we lived together. We were comfortable in our life but we were not truly respectful with each other and any true intimacy and honouring of each other was missing. It was a horrible feeling to stay with him, but to leave him also did not feel true, because I still felt love for this man. I had always had the feeling this love would never stop. I never truly wanted to leave him but I did not know at this stage how I could go on living with him.
When I finally made the choice to leave my partner it was because I just could see no way to continue living with him without constantly compromising myself to fit into his life.
I now know that then I had no love for myself. I was constantly trying to please him. I did not feel that I was worthy enough and that he would stay at my side when I started doing the things I enjoyed, or living my truth or meeting the friends I felt to meet.
During the last 17 years, since the divorce, we had very little contact as I had felt to stop the contact totally.
Since then I have been developing self-love through the inspiration of Universal Medicine. I have been learning more and more to be with me and to respect myself and my body.
By being self-loving, my awareness of how to be and how to express love in the relationship I have now has grown immensely.
Some weeks ago my ex-partner contacted me because he had suffered injuries in a motorbike accident. He came to see me and received Esoteric Healing.
When we met, we immediately felt the same connection again as in earlier times. What I felt between us was flowing love, without any of the emotional attachments; the old reproaches and difficulties were not there anymore.
This is a living proof for me that we are all connected, deeply so. But most of us, most of the time, choose to not be aware of this connection.
Then I began to wonder:
- Is it true that we only love one person (our partner, wife or husband) in our lives, and not anybody else?
- Can we truly love one person more than another, including ourselves?
- Even if it seems like we would have different intensities of love with different persons, perhaps this is not true?
- What if our most loved ones are only reflecting our potential of love with everybody because we feel a stronger connection with them?
Love, to express love and to be loving, is something natural that is within us. And sometimes we seem to not feel love towards another person, but is this true?
If we do not seem to love somebody as much, could it be that we are simply reacting to an unloving behaviour from that person and not feeling our own true love inside of us in that moment?
In truth it is very easy to choose love, because we are made of love.
With my ex-partner, we now have a natural loving relationship, which inspires him to look more closely at his daily choices. He is taking more care of himself and his body and as such his loving choices have increased.
The same happens with my close family members, husband and daughter, with my friends, colleagues and relatives: our flow together and our communication is much more loving and harmonious. This brings an awesome joy into our daily lives.
Who would have thought that the end of a relationship could eventually inspire so much love?
By Kerstin Salzer