I had an experience the other day that gave me pause to stop and ponder deeply my beliefs around expressing love to all, equally so. This experience exposed in me a long held belief that same sex couples are less. When I had this realisation, I felt such sadness.
“How is it possible to hold a belief for so long, that in no way feels true, loving and supportive in my life? How far away from my true self have I been living to not feel the hurt that comes with holding onto such beliefs?”
These simple questions led me to understand much about myself and have offered me great appreciation as to just how destructive a belief can be, helping me to identify the falseness in thinking that we are not equal simply as we are born to be.
I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person. My upbringing that saw same sex couples as somehow being less has offered me a moment where I can feel better than another person.
I know deeply inside that we are all equal and it doesn’t matter whether we choose a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. Yet the belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am, has been my trigger to having the thoughts that same sex couples are less than I am.
How absolutely horrible the belief that I am better than another, as I have had an opportunity to know two beautiful women who in every way live their love for themselves, each other and all others equally. So to feel this arise in me, I know deeply that it is not who I truly am and that it is simply a belief that I have taken on from others. A belief that I can now completely let go of in how I live from this moment forward.
What this experience has brought forward for me to consider is how any comparison to others is so very debilitating. And that for this to enter, in a brief moment I in some way allowed myself to be less than or better than the other person, whether they be man or woman doesn’t matter.
What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.
I am so very grateful that I have had this experience and am also super grateful that I simply didn’t brush it off as being okay. I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way. Living every day deeply feeling just how beautiful, loving and supportive I am, without wavering or falling back into any old beliefs that do not support this truth that I have connected to.
I feel that I am living my life from a whole new platform: that I have accepted in full that we are all equal and feel an amazing sense of freedom in this.
There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.
By Leigh Strack