Recently I was helping out at my daughter’s sport class at school. The children, all aged around five, were learning/practising ball skills. They were in teams of six, learning to play one of those games for kids like tunnel ball, where they took turns throwing and catching to the head of the line then running around their group.
The children were loving this game, smiling, laughing, being careful to catch the ball, throwing the balls gently, taking care not to throw them too far/hard/high, looking at the person throwing the ball to them, waiting patiently for their turn in the line, running safely through the narrow gaps between each team… you get the drift, it was a pleasure to watch.
Sure, a few balls went spiralling out of control, but when that happened, the child who had dropped it just went straight after it, picked it up with no fuss and returned to their spot in the game.
And then it changed. The sport teacher told the children they were going to now have a race: they were going to play the same game, but this time, the first team to have everyone crouched down, having had a turn throwing and catching and running, would win.
The teacher called “Ready, set, go!” – and pretty much all hell broke loose.
Balls were dropped on the child in fronts’ head. That child would yell back abusively. The run-around-the-team part became a ball game of ‘let’s see how many other children we can crash into’ – many of the boys particularly ‘enjoyed’ this one. Other children on the run tripped over their feet, and bumped into the nearby brick wall. The balls that had been dropped took two or three goes to retrieve – when the children went to pick them up in the rush, they would accidentally kick the ball another few metres away. Some were even prone to further dropping the ball on their way back into the game after having retrieved it.
Then, when the first team had all crouched down and called “Finished!”, another round of shouting began as the children who had been bumped into by the winning team’s members retaliated, accusing them of cheating, hurting them, not running in the right direction, and interfering with their own team.
There were no smiles, no simple pleasure at having been able to catch a ball and throw it back to be caught again. The laughter had stopped, replaced with angry looks at one another.
Some of the children in the ‘losing’ teams didn’t even get to have their turn as they were at the end of the line and once the winning team finished, the game was over. These children looked sad or left out but said nothing; others yelled that it wasn’t fair they didn’t get to have a go.
I did notice there were a few children amongst the chaos who stayed still, able to put the same care into catching the ball, throwing and running during the race as they had during practice. At the end of the lesson, these kids simply skipped off with each other, held hands, and stood in the line quietly, waiting to return to their classroom. But the majority of the class looked angry, were still talking loudly about the race, and taking a long time to get into the line. The classroom teacher by this point began raising her voice at the stragglers to get in line, and looked thoroughly frustrated.
I then saw the next class of five year olds arrive at the sports ground. They assumed their positions in the game, standing in their teams of six, ball in hand, etc., ready to start the same thing all over again…
Healthy competition? I don’t think so. We’re told sport is ‘healthy competition’, but there was nothing healthy about the chaos I saw unfold once the race was called. When it became about winning and not the (activity) ball game itself, something very ugly and destructive came through.
Competition teaches us to be all that we can ‘do’ – it’s never about who we are, and never about being all that we are. Competition erases the knowingness of who we are, that we all have as small children, as we are pitted against one another and heralded for being able to do more / better than another. Is it not possible that we all have skills in different areas and that we can each bring our own particular skill/expression to the table for all to share in, learn from and build upon?
Education needs to focus on equity, cooperation and freedom for each and every child, so they can choose for themselves how they wish to express themselves. With this freedom, and by eliminating the need to compete, we would all benefit as each child naturally brings something different but equally amazing to society.
What would it be like then if competition (including sport) focussed on equity, cooperation and freedom for each and every child, so they could choose for themselves how they wished to express themselves? Perhaps then, and with this freedom, there would not be the chaos and competition that occurs now when a simple ball game becomes a race.
Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
By Suzanne Anderssen, Brisbane
362 Comments
Wow what a difference, I wonder if the teacher noticed the behavioral changes in the children?
Competition does not feel pleasant in the body, makes me feel anxious and stressed out and/or invites judgement into the moment. It separates and disconnects us from each other. Certainly not healthy.
I wonder if the teacher learned this lesson from the children.
There is no equality in competition and perhaps that is why even the winners feel the emptiness of what they have achieved once the initial euphoria is over and hence why they are always having to strive for the next win at great expense to their body and general wellbeing.
A great example of the effect of competition and the ripple effect that this has thereafter. The quality of connection, quality of relationships and how we feel within ourselves, all affected. Harmless fun? I think not,
One day we will wise up to what competition does to us as children but that won’t be for some time yet, but I for one welcome that day. It’s horrible to watch how young children change when you bring in competition.
I’ve watched kids completely change and become totally anxious and nervous when I’ve turned something into a race. If we care all about our kids welfare and content-ness it’s time we dropped the saying that “competition is healthy” and changed it to “competition is unhealthy”.
Anything that is not love is not good for our health and competing against one another is certainly part of that. I really can’t think of anything that could contribute to our health with wanting to be more or better than others.
Competition crushes the truth of brotherhood. It doesn’t allow us to feel that united we can move mountains and that winning or loosing is just the same as being right or wrong and that is not what love is all about. We are all here to learn to learn one thing – love and competition doesn’t add anything to this learning.
Competition erases who we truly are and makes it all about what we can do, ‘Competition teaches us to be all that we can ‘do’ – it’s never about who we are, and never about being all that we are.’
Competition isn’t healthy, it encourages us to go against another- to be better than another, and so create a separation, ‘Healthy competition? I don’t think so. We’re told sport is ‘healthy competition’, but there was nothing healthy about the chaos I saw unfold once the race was called. When it became about winning and not the (activity) ball game itself, something very ugly and destructive came through.’
We need to consider that it’s not actually a natural expression to be competitive, that instead our nature is one of harmony and cooperation. I remember being introduced to competitive sports as a young girl in my first years of primary school, being competitive felt like I had to first fight all of who I am in myself (it felt horrific) before then fighting other children to be the winner.
Yes, to win at all cost and as wars seemingly have followed this same way or is it that wars came first then we played games to practice for being warriors in battle, and now even though we seem to have a some what civilised competition we still fight hard to win on every level. Then the so called game, fighting or ruckus on every level makes it impossible to connected to our child-like-essences and once we start the competitive-ness that contributes to this type of rat-race the one we have made so called normal we become caught in a merry-go-round of life that pulls the wool over our eyes about living in connection with our essence.
This is an extraordinary example of what is being just encouraged but propagated everywhere all throughout our society. one day there will be no competition.
There is a great difference between the wonder of exploring the science of the quality of energy in how we move, interact and connect with ourselves and others and the joy and playfulness that can be celebrated in this activity, in contrast to how the imposition of competition, where there has to be a winner and a loser, annihilates our connection to the wonder of who we are and is in fact all -round abusive.
This really highlights that when we lose ourselves and live in anxiousness and competition with each other, this hurts us all and issues then perpetuate themselves. Because we are not connected to ourselves, things don’t flow, then we are not connected with others and this leads to issues and problems playing out between people and if they are in the same stuff it is exacerbated and it grows and continues.
” By eliminating the need to compete, we would all benefit as each child naturally brings something different but equally amazing to society”
One day in the future sport and competition will be looked back on as crazy and harmful as we know; look back on the ability to punch children with the cane. Exercise and play yes – these are amazing forms of learning – competition on the other hand does nothing but foster anxiety and separation.