If I reflect back on my parenting before I found the ancient wisdom teachings presented through Universal Medicine (UniMed), how would I describe myself as a parent back then? I was always firm as a parent, however this originally came with wanting to control everything. I had also given myself over to parenting and therefore had little or no sense of myself. This meant that I was angry, not truly happy and often sad. These feelings often came out towards my daughter.
Parenting was a mechanical motion that I had somehow found myself in, except there was no me in it. I was parenting from everything that had been fed to me via books, friends, family, every other parent I had met, maternal and child health nurses, the neighbours, TV and movies.
So as an angry, unhappy, sad parent this is what my parenting looked like:
- Fear, of getting something wrong and that I would harm or hurt the child.
- Trying to control everything, which was not realistic and therefore at times I would get frustrated at the lack of control I actually had.
- Being able to continue to do everything – I was a driven, crazy person at times.
- Being tired was a given, it came with the title of parenting. Let’s face it, I often met parents who would say things like, “I have been tired for 5 years”.
- It was ‘grit your teeth and bear it’, you just got through as best you could.
- If you did not get to look after yourself on a given day that was ok, the needs of the child were first and foremost. This meant giving up on something as simple as having a shower and getting dressed each day.
- Not trusting myself and looking for answers everywhere outside of myself as to what to do.
I came across UniMed and Serge Benhayon when my daughter was four. Through the presentations of Serge Benhayon I came to understand how everything comes back to energy: the crazy way I parented came down to my being run by a quality of energy that left me ragged, feeling like I was not enough as a parent, exhausted from trying to get it right and leaving myself last, which meant everyone else got looked after first.
Today the quality of energy that feeds me and my parenting is very different: I look after myself first; there is a steadiness in my day; I am confident in my decision making and communication with my daughter; I am more than ok in accepting that I am not perfect; it is ok if things do not get completed or done; I ask for support and help when needed; I am responsible for how I am being – it is not my daughter’s fault; and there is a true, loving quality with me as I choose very consciously to be with my daughter as she grows up.
My parenting has changed, thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I can now parent lovingly and know that being a parent can be an opportunity for great learning and development for both mother and child, and be a loving and joyful experience every day.
This change is because of very simple presentations made by Serge Benhayon – the core of this for me being that it is important as a woman that I know and understand my body from the inside out and so to develop a relationship with who I am and how my body works. I bring a deep honouring to myself in relation to how I feel in each moment; I learn to love myself by nurturing and caring for myself as much as I would any child. I am then myself first: a much more loved, cared for, nurtured and understanding person when it comes to parenting… and to life.
As I parent now, after almost 10 years of using the ancient wisdom teachings as presented by Serge as my guide, I have made some pretty cool changes:
- I have learned to look after myself first and foremost.
- I am able to love myself as much as I love my daughter.
- I am very rarely tired as I look after myself during the day.
- Parenting is so much fun and very playful.
- I am in touch with how I feel about parenting and the decisions I make. There is a lot I do know if I allow myself to feel it.
- I have let go of my control issues and therefore no longer get frustrated, angry or sad.
- There is lots of laughter and joy in our house.
- My child has a right to make choices.
- Parenting is no longer about me controlling my child.
- I see and treat my child as an equal.
- I actually put time and effort into parenting so that what is presented is all about love first.
- I am participating in raising my child and not just allowing it to happen as she grows up.
- My husband and I present that the quality of your energy, how you are being, is the most important thing when talking about topics relevant to our child and what is going on in the world. So if she makes decisions to do things, she knows how they will affect her and the quality of who she is.
- There is always a loving discipline in our house that teaches responsibility about choices made and allows us all, including my child, to be accountable.
At the Universal Medicine retreat held in Hoi An, Vietnam in March 2013, I was able to add to my unfolding about parenting. A significant part at the beginning of the retreat for me was that I did not really feel how amazing and beautiful I was as a woman. Other people saw this in me, including friends, my partner and my daughter, and they would express this to me. I got to feel the sadness within as I had not accepted or felt this truly for myself for a very long time.
In allowing myself to feel this, I could then actually claim that I am an amazing and truly beautiful woman. I can now absolutely role model this with my 14 year-old daughter.
- I can actually feel how amazing I am every time I tell my daughter how amazing she is.
- I know that beauty comes from within and can show this to my daughter every day. As she enters her teenage years she knows without a doubt that as women we are naturally beautiful and very amazing.
- I can inspire all children and show them that what is being lived in the world is not ‘it’, that there is a different way to live, a way that is very loving and beautiful.
I have a deep appreciation and love for Serge Benhayon and his family for living a different way and sharing it with us. Parenting for me will forever more be all about love.
By Sally Scott, Manager, Perth, WA