Since 2007, I have lost over 12 stone (76 kg) without dieting. I often get asked how I lost weight, so here is my story…
As a child and then into my teens I was always very skinny and acutely conscious of that fact. After I joined the army at age 16 I started to put on weight and from then I have always had an issue with both controlling my weight and sustaining any weight loss I did have.
There were periods in my life where I was at a healthy weight but for the most part I was overweight.
At around the age of 40-44, I was at my heaviest and weighed over 27 and a half stone (175 kg).
Up until that point the diets I had tried to control my weight (and there were many) never worked. Yes, I would initially lose weight but it would always come back on because I couldn’t or didn’t want to sustain it. I wasn’t willing to let go of the foods, like bread, pasta, chocolate, alcohol, cakes etc. that I knew to be the cause of my weight gain.
In 2007 things started to change. I began to attend the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and there I gained a better understanding of:
- How food truly affects my body,
- Why I choose to eat these foods,
- Why I choose to eat the quantity of food that I was eating,
- When I choose to eat these foods.
I had never been presented with this knowledge before and so with this understanding I was able to start making changes that truly supported me.
It wasn’t easy at first as I had to undo over 30 years of neglect and abuse. One thing that really helped me was to use ‘bridging’ as a tool. I knew if I came off a certain food ‘cold turkey’ it would be very hard to continue so, for instance, with something like coffee (I loved my cappuccino with chocolate sprinkles). I first started with decaf coffee, then after a while I went onto soya milk, then no chocolate sprinkles and then eventually no coffee at all.
Apart from alcohol, which I stopped straight away, I found that I could substitute all of the foods that didn’t support me and eventually come off them altogether. Trying to control my weight loss or sustain it wasn’t even a consideration at this point, it was more a choice to start to love and support myself in a way I had never contemplated before. Naturally, as a by-product of this new change the weight started to fall off.
What was also a big revelation for me was the fact that because I had started to express more and say how I truly felt I was losing even more weight. I wasn’t holding onto stuff as much so therefore my body could let go of it.
It has been 7 years now and when people find out that I have lost all this weight they are very surprised, mainly because I don’t have any sagging skin that is associated with a large loss of weight. I am able to share with them that the way I lost weight and kept it off it has been done gradually. I also share that if I had seen it as a diet then it would have become goal orientated and as soon as I reached my intended weight I would have wanted to celebrate, which would have resulted in going back to the foods that put the weight on in the first place.
I also share that I lost the weight without having to go through any rigorous exercise regime. My only form of exercise was walking at a normal pace for a minimum of 15 minutes and occasionally I went to the gym for weight training.
My weight at the moment is just over 15 and a half stone (99 kg) and the weight loss is an ongoing process.
So when I am now asked how I lost weight, I can express that I feel diets do not work, and that only by making it a ‘way of life’ can you truly succeed in controlling and sustaining weight loss.
By Tim Bowyer, Age 51, London Bus Driver
You may also be interested in:
How to Lose Weight (Unimedliving.com)
Gosh Tim, aside from looking 10 years younger and very handsome, what an incredible transformation to achieve, by NOT dieting. You are living proof that by taking the time and care to gently reduce or substitute foods that clearly were not agreeing with you, but that gave you a lot of pleasure, the body can also gently let go of the excess fat and hey presto, ever so steadily you end up a lot thinner, healthier and more gorgeous than you could have imagined. Nowhere else have I ever come across the information you received from Universal Medicine and it makes absolute sense. When we stop to consider why, how and when we eat and feel the effects of it, then it supports us to address the root causes that drive our food addictions, which in turn makes it easier to find alternatives and then relinquish our addictions altogether. Thank you for sharing your experience so honestly and being a fantastic role model for others who struggle to loose weight.
What a great story Tim. Like you I followed a similar lifestyle change and have lost 5.5 stone (35 kg). The understanding of foods, why I was eating them and my relationship with them presented by Universal Medicine just seemed common sense once it was presented to me. So I decided to choose different foods and the use of ‘bridging foods’ made it much easier. I was not attempting to loose weight, it was just a ‘side-effect’.
I agree Jonathan, what Universal medicine presents is just common sense. The only thing we need to bring to the table (ha ha) is our commitment make those self-loving choices.
A great story, such is making any true change, a way of life. By committing completely to ourselves, it’s incredible the change that occurs. Looking good Tim!
Wow Tim, so lovely to see you now. I just love the clear sparkle in your eyes in your recent photos – you look young and cheeky and fun. The before pictures look like a completely different person. Which makes sense, as it was the true beauty of you hiding under the weight. I can feel how you now enjoy living who you really are; thank you for sharing your experience for all to be inspired by. I love the fact that you did not go on any crash diets, because that’s all they do – they make you crash and give up even more, making it look like it’s all too hard. Listening to your body and having fun experimenting lovingly is the way to go.
Thank you Esther. Yes I was definitely hiding behind my weight, and you are right, I love who I am now. Its not just the weight loss. Its given me confidence, self worth and most importantly, contentment in just being me.
Wow Tim, you are glowing. I loved reading the living testimony you have become. A testimony of self-love and proof that loving who you are and not what you are on the outside has proved to be a major key to coming back to your true bodies shape and weight. The power of loving choices….
Well said Kim…he is glowing. Look at these photos …Wow…what a difference. We can all see how his whole face lights up in the after photo….complete joy.
Wow Tim and Bina you both look fantastic. This is a great testimonial of how diets don’t work but by choosing to make loving choices for yourselves and by honouring and supporting your body how the weight can just naturally fall off –
Just to add a bit more to the pot Deidre, me and Tim had a “hobby” and it was eating and eating. We were members of a wine club and chocolate club so it got delivered to your door like a gift. That was in addition to all the farm shops and bakeries we would discover as that was part of our life. If you saw our shopping trolley you would think it was for a family of 6. We were quite content watching weight loss TV programs whilst indulging in cakes and biscuits.
The amazing thing is today we do not crave any of that stuff and that really is a miracle.
Verry funny image of you Bina and Tim stuffing yourselves on the sofa while watching dieting TV programmes! Fantastic story.
Have you heard of the program ‘Chocowokkadoodah’ Jonathan?
It is the opposite to our diet TV watching and what is interesting is that we saw it last year and it had absolutely no pull or desire in either of us to want or need chocolate.
I was a chocoholic and as a child I used to steal chocolate as my mother would hide it.
On another note, I was at a large bookstore recently and the diet books just get more and more glossy and colourful but if they worked why are there so many more new diet books out and why are diet books the number one best sellers at the beginning of every January?
AND the million dollar question where are all the old diet books that people claimed were the answer Not on those shelves anymore? Hello?
In fact I was surprised how small the shelf was for diet and nutrition considering this was a bookshop on 4 floors in central London.
Tim thank you, it’s an incredible feat to lose that amount of weight under any circumstances! It feels so beautiful that you have taken a loving and holistic approach to making different choices and that they were based on self love not self loathing. Who would have thought that being more open with expression would have an effect on weight loss? Awesome!
Very inspirational, TIm. Thank your for sharing this. Having had parents that were heavily overweight and still having 2 sisters who either ignore totally their overweight or the other one being on and off extreme diets which never work, my body never tended to hold a lot of weight. Maybe because I always lived a very active life physically.But eating too much is very familiar to me.
Since attending Universal Medicine presentations and, besides many other matters, learning about effects and energies of food, I feel more now what is good for my body to eat and what is not. But I am still eating too much. Which does not make me gain weight but feeling heavy, tired, dull or even numb. I overeat to fill a hole, an emptiness, to numb myself when I don’t want to feel something. Or more often now I overeat to not feel my greatness, my amazingness, as if it is too much being and feeling so glorious. Writing this I remember that that was always my issue as a child – being too much for the adult world. So I learned to hold back to not bear the consequences of ‘being too much’.
Wow, thank you again, Tim. This opened up a greater understanding of my overeating.
Yes Ingrid, I can relate with still eating too much at times, and that eating is not always to nurture myself, but can be for the various reasons you share above. As you say Tim, it is about building love, support and care for ourselves, and then the old patterns and behaviours have less power.
Thank you Ingrid. I can so relate to eating to fill the emptiness. When I used to live at home with my mum, I used to have dinner there but because I was so empty I would then go to a friends house for dinner there as well. I just can’t understand how I put on weight!!
On that over eating note Ingrid, I have found myself eating for no reason after an amazing day at work.
I would find anything so that the train journey was me munching and what I came to realise is that I could not just sit and be with me in Appreciation. That was what was missing.
Yes I overeat to fill a void and emptiness but if I remain me and stay connected during my day I have no desire to overeat or even eat foods that don’t support my body.
I get it right every time I stop and pause and almost ask my body “hello what do you fancy eating now”. Not once has it got it wrong if I listen and feel. In fact its way ahead of my thinking. I sometimes take food to work and think why did I pack this but it ends up being exactly what I needed and my body knew that in advance.
It goes belly up if I override or go into comfort mode which is not cooking and lets go out for dinner. That has become rare now as I have become more aware of this behaviour.
The other thing is I will throw things out but not eat it just because it is there and needs to be used. What I do is have a chat with myself out loud and say – “come on, what is this about? how were you when you done the shopping”.
I am a fast learner but with food there is always more to learn as I keep reviewing and refining what I eat almost everyday now.
I can relate to what you say Bina. I overeat for comfort or to fill a void and at times when I am struggling with life the self-loathing creeps in and I compensate by eating. It all comes back to that loving connection I have with myself which I am building the loving choices that support me. And in time as Tim has shown those old behaviours and patterns will have less power over me.
Wow, Tim. what an amazing story – so untypical of the usual weight loss stories. There is none of the usual ‘it was so hard but I was disciplined & determined’, or ‘I set myself goals & lived & breathed them 24/7’, or ‘I did it for my children / partner etc’. I love how you share that you made more loving choices for yourself, expressed more & the weight fell off – what an inspiration for so many people battling with weight issues.
Thanks Carmin. I love the reasons you cite why people would push themselves to lose the weight. Maybe that could be a blog for you, although, I feel it would be quite a long one!!
Carmin- that is so true. How refreshing to read a weight loss story like this, it is also untypical for weight loss stories where large amounts of weight is lost to occur over seven years, usually the quicker the weight loss the more hype there is around it. Tim is not offering a quick fix, he offers the wisdom of at least his last seven years of steady and sustained weight loss, an end to yo-yo dieting and crash diets. What an awesome story- Tim is sparkling in his recent photos.
Awesome blog Tim, and great to see you shining and looking so healthy! You are a true inspiration. No diets needed, just a way of life that loves and supports your body.
Hi Tim, I love how you have articulated that along with changing what you actually eat, you have made the conscious decision to express where you are at, and note that in this act alone allows the body to let go of what it holds onto. You look terrific. Thank-you for sharing your story.
Tim, this is such a common problem for people so it is wonderful that you have shared this. I also tried diets and ‘bashed’ myself for not being able to stick to them. I always found I was more hungry when I knew I was on a diet as I felt I was missing out on all the ‘treats’ I wanted to eat. When I started to care for and enjoy me, I didn’t feel I was missing out (as I had me). I also found that making the choice to just take more care of myself and being patient with myself in the process (with no goal to lose weight), my excess weight naturally fell away.
I was the same Fiona, when I was on a diet I really missed the foods that I usually ate and felt hungry all of the time and consequently didn’t last very long on the diet. With this new way of living, I still missed the usual foods that I was eating but because I was getting a better understanding of why I wanted the foods, it was a lot easier to maintain not having them.
What an inspiring story of weight loss. My weight has fluctuated up and down ever since I was a teenager and the only way I could ‘control’ it was through extreme exercise as I was not willing to give up the foods I liked or the quantity I wanted to eat. I too learnt via attending Universal Medicine events that I was using food as a medication – a pick me up or comfort when I felt down, as a stimulant when I felt tired and as a reward when I felt I deserved more in life. I started to experiment with foods and paid more attention to what I was eating and why – soon I was able to drop certain foods and my weight. I now feel like I have a much healthier relationship with food and my body image.
I can definitely relate to that Rachel – although I’ve never been into ‘extreme’ exercise, in the past I’ve seen exercising as the solution to losing weight. In my mind I could eat all the same foods, but by exercising somehow I would lose loads of weight – I can tell you now that it didn’t work as well as I had hoped haha.
Congratulations Tim on your weight loss. “..the fact that because I had started to express more and say how I truly felt I was losing even more weight.” The loving, supportive choices that you were making had a big influence on your weight loss. Well done.
Tim, I love your story which is a great example of true change that comes from loving & supporting yourself with a lifestyle that you can sustain long-term. As you say diets don’t work long-term, but choosing a lifestyle that supports you does. And I love the fact that you didn’t ‘thrash n bash’ your body with exercise.
Universal Medicine present common sense principles of self-care that when applied like you have, have had remarkable life changing results…and like you say often the goal is not weight loss, but this naturally happens as the body comes back to harmony. So glad you shared your story as so many can be inspired.
Yes the key is consistent self care. I know from experience that when this starts it becomes easy to build a momentum with it because you don’t feel like it’s something you have to do. It becomes something you want to do each day because each loving choice that is made builds a new platform or foundation to live from. With no end goal in sight there is no striving or pushing to get somewhere – just a daily observation of how you are feeling that results in making choices; either self supporting ones or not! When I make choices that are not so loving I have learnt not to beat myself up about them but to understand why that choice was made. In this awareness it becomes easier to make the loving choice next time.
Very true Michelle, we are still human so making mistakes with our food will happen. If we beat ourselves up about it there is more of a chance that we will give up, feeling that it is too hard to sustain. Having that understanding why we make certain choices is the key and as you say, it makes the next choice easier.
Tim the present photo of you and Bina is so lovely. You are both shining lights. Your story is a wonderful testimony that being hard on our self and denying our self with diets just doesn’t work but to make choices based on self-love and caring makes all the difference in the world.
Well said Irene, the difference between the before and after photo of Tim and Bina together is incredible, it obviously shows that changing the way they live and care for themselves has brought a huge transformation. They both look so much more vibrant and young, living testament to the power of self care and self love.
Wow Tim — the first thing that struck me was the glow in your eyes in your more recent photo, literally like you are beaming out of the photo. Thank you for sharing your story and in such a way that is sure to support so many people who struggle with dieting and weight loss, obesity is a big deal in our communities at the moment and as people are searching for the answers, you have given them a living and loving example of how true and lasting change can really be made. Thank you.
Hi Tim. What an awesome sharing. I too have come from a heavier weight and had tried lots of diets and even diets with lots of gym workouts but the end result was always the same. The weight came back. After meeting Serge Benhayon I had begun to understand the mess my life had become and that I had only tried to fix my weight from the outside in. Weight-loss wasn’t something I was trying to do but like you I came to understand how and why food was affecting me. As a natural course of events my food changed and so did my weight. I always saw weight-loss as a temporary thing, a quick fix to my situation but like you said its about making it a “way of life”, the way of my livingness.
It brings a smile to my face to read this story, for years I have felt that diets don’t work and here is living proof, everything about the way you have approached weight loss makes perfect sense, addressing the whole of the issue of why and how you were overweight and not looking for a quick fix but instead taking your time to make the changes last. Fantastic to read your story Tim!
This turns the diet and weight loss world on it’s head! This is a revelation Tim – “only by making it a ‘way of life’ can you truly succeed in controlling and sustaining weight loss” Awesome…and well done!
I agree Sara – Tims story does turn the diet and weight loss world on its head.
Tim is showing us by a living example that diets really and truly do not work simply because we cannot sustain it as it is goal driven. As a serial yo yo dieter of the past I never got anywhere and to be honest I found dieting really boring as I was fixated on food. Now I see food as something that can support me to do what I need to and listen to my body and rest instead of going for the sugar stuff as I did in the past.
What powerfull words “only by making it a ‘way of life’ can you truly succeed in controlling and sustaining weight loss”
Everyone with a weight issue would benefit from reading this. It really is incredible to lose that amount of weight without dieting.
What a lesson in taking care of oneself. Yes food, when viewed as supporting our precious body, has the real power to heal us. Thank you also for your beautiful smiles Tim and Bina.
I agree Bina, anyone with a weight issue would most definitely benefit from reading Tim’s story. As the obesity rates soar Tim’s story is so needed to inspire others.
I agree with you Elizabeth Dolan – Tim’s story is needed to inspire others and above all it helps society in the long term.
This is huge story about a huge amount of weight loss with no diet. Obesity is off the scale and now a global problem. The health issues related to obesity is escalating and increasing the burden on our health systems.
I know loads of people and not one has said their diet worked simply because our bodies are not designed to have someone out there telling us what we should eat and how to exercise.
I have lost more weight just walking everyday and cutting out foods like gluten, dairy, sugar and yeast. Above all my body weight is no longer an issue and I feel amazing and finally treat my body with the respect it deserves. Not rocket science, just simple principles I learnt from a man called Serge Benhayon who knows what he is talking about.
It certainly does make you question the ideals & beliefs out there about diet and weight loss. And I so agree that it is about committing to a way of living that is sustainable…this has worked for me and is so much more enjoyable.
I totally agree – this turns all the millions of pounds people spend on weight loss, weight watchers and special diets upside down, and makes this global problem incredibly simple.
Tim your transformation is absolutely sensational, the thing that strikes me is the look of joy in your face and the fact that it looks like you have always been a healthy weight. It was very confirming for me to read about the way you gave up certain foods as I have followed the exact same process, nobody told me to do this, I just listened to my body as you did. I did not lose weight (I was already a healthy weight) but I did heal my severe acne and a host of other health issues.
I feel that many often nominate the fact that food has such an enormous impact on the body but do not wish do delve deeper and begin to deal with the reasons behind these choices. I love the way you have explained that dealing with the emotional patterns behind your choices was key.
It is an absolute joy to see you living as you are Tim. An imputation to many.
I agree, many people often nominate for themselves that food is having a considerable negative impact on their body, but the current way of thinking is that the only way to deal with weight loss is to make far fetched changes to diet and way of life, changes that come from a program. What Tim presents here is beautiful, that it is actually no harder than making changes based on what your body wants
You make a great point here Oliver about people generally thinking that the only way to deal with weight loss is diet and “far fetched changes” to their way of life and it comes from a “Program”.
That is exactly why it doesn’t work and never will. That “program” came from someone and not from you and at no point did that “program” consider your past choices, your lifestyle, your feelings or anything about you as a real person. No wonder diets cannot be sustained and as Tim said we go back to our old way once we achieve that target weight/goal.
What I find incredible about this blog and Tim’s mammoth weight loss is no diet and no sagging skin. No quick fix, no goal and no expectations or investment in an outcome. To top it all no diet books, no visiting the diet and nutrition advisor and no indulging in any foods. Tim really has busted the ideals, beliefs and myths around weight loss and sustaining it without any effort. That is incredible.
Love this Bina! A diet program comes from someone/thing outside you that cannot possibly meet the needs of the whole you and everything about you and therefore it can never possibly work. Inside out is the way to go but why don’t we commonly see this? Because we’re all set up to be outside in. Amazing really.
Amazing Tim, thank you for sharing your weight loss experience. The before and after photos of you say it all…in the before you look older than your years, sad and tired. The photo of you now is glowing with youth, health and vitality and you look so much more settled with who you are. This is a very inspiring account of how dieting does not work and how through the building of self-love, making true food choices and allowing honesty and expression of how you truly feel your body will naturally discard the excess weight it is holding.
Absolutely Bianca; the recent photos of Tim make him look 10 years younger! Just goes to show what self care and commitment can do.
Thanks Tim for sharing your story and what an great story it is. While I did not have a large amount weight to lose any excess weight I did have has also gone due to making choices for myself about what food truly supports me. What has changed a lot however is my body shape. As I learnt to make more loving choices for myself, not just with food but in other areas such as expressing what I feel as you mentioned, I noticed that my body began to change shape. My body now reflects the truth of who I am and how I live and I have never been healthier or more vital.
Thank you Penny. I have noticed the same with my body changing shape. Obviously it has changed shape with the weight loss and the exercise but it is also more of a inner change and the more I express the lighter I feel.
Tim, I loved reading your story and the very loving way you gradually changed your diet, honouring your body and what you felt without a harsh discipline or self-criticism. I feel your blog says a lot with many layers. For example I have never had a weight issue but I experience the same as you, “the more I express the lighter I feel”.
Expression is definitely a huge factor in how we feel, even without weight loss I can feel the difference in my body when I express how I feel and when I bottle it up, it makes perfect sense to me that this expression would also create weight loss if that is what our body needs.
Great point Stephen G, I have been deeply appreciating recently how amazing I feel through expressing myself rather than attempting to ‘bottle it up’, I feel through expressing I heal myself and I seek less the habits, foods etc that I used to use to numb the sadness I felt from not expressing. Remarkable is the powerful of expressing ourselves.
This is so true for me Tim, if I hold something back I want to express and don’t say the full truth I will soon find myself wanting to overeat – it is like by not expressing and feeling the fullness in me I need something external to fill me up. It is then that I know that I am not eating for nutrition but I am eating to numb out uncomfortable emotions. It is so much more beneficial to express in full first then only eat what my body needs, this is a constant work in progress and is so much better since learning to express myself more.
Tim, what an inspiration you are ~ your photos say it all. I love what you said at the end… “So when I am now asked how I lost weight, I can express that I feel diets do not work, and that only by making it a ‘way of life’ can you truly succeed in controlling and sustaining weight loss.” So very true, thank you.
Wow Tim thats an awesome and very inspiring and joyful story of weight loss. No struggle or discipline just loving support and understanding. I never had weight problems but choosing a more nurturing diet brought me massive vitality I had never experienced before. It’s very beautiful to read how by letting go of the attachments your weight loss became a joyful journey.
Great point Rachel, no struggle or discipline required, just the decision to stop, feel and choose love. Tim is living proof that loosing weight by choosing to lovingly care for himeself is a truly joyful journey. Further more it is a journey that has supported his body to adjust gradually and re-claim its natural vitality, health and shape.
Thats a good point Rachel and Rowena. Diets are usually associated with deprivation, hunger and misery but making it about choices that love and nurture ourselves makes the journey much more joyful.
Yes and long lasting. If we are not depriving ourselves then there is no temptation to go back to the old way of eating and treating our bodies. When we make decisions based on how our food makes us feel and we begin to cut out the foods that negatively affect us in some way, the overall feeling of wellness becomes the incentive to keep going. Our bodies are allowed to find their own balance again and we end feeling and in your case, looking amazing.
What an inspiring story, and the pictures are testament to both the success of your weight-loss, the increased confidence and feeling of joy that is obvious in the later shots. Adopting a whole-istic approach to food and eating – perhaps its the ‘why’ factor – instead of only focussing on the weight-gain itself has obviously provided sustained improvements for you.
This is a beautiful read Tim and to see and feel the change in you, not just from a weight loss perspective is huge! I love what you share here, ‘trying to control my weight loss or sustain it wasn’t even a consideration at this point, it was more a choice to start to love and support myself in a way I had never contemplated before.’ This is gorgeous. There is so much grace and love for you in what you write here. It is deeply inspiring to read what naturally happened to you through your own awareness of your choices, without any imposed agenda. ‘What was also a big revelation for me was the fact that because I had started to express more and say how I truly felt I was losing even more weight. I wasn’t holding onto stuff as much so therefore my body could let go of it.’ What a great revelation to me too that makes total sense and all of this coming from the tenderness of a man on a subject that is not generally discussed publicly. How amazing. Hats off to you and perhaps even a few more lbs in the future! Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you Candida. Yes, the weight loss is ongoing and I assume my weight will balance out when I get to my natural weight. Until then I will continue to feel what my body needs and the most important thing….Expression.
Everything we are is a work in progress, constantly evolving and refining day by day. Staying connected to our bodies, as you say Tim, is most important.
Thank you Tim for sharing so beautifully how you have transformed your body and life by taking gentle steps, commiting to self and making different choices in the foods you ate. What stays with me are these words ‘ big revelation for me was the fact that because I had started to express more and say how I truly felt I was losing even more weight. I wasn’t holding onto stuff as much so therefore my body could let go of it.’ You show here how weight loss is much more than just the food we eat.
Thank you for sharing this, Tim. If there was ever a blog that proved beyond doubt, that taking responsibility for the choices you make on every level can totally change your life, this is it! You are a gorgeous example of the ongoing benefits of self care and developing an honest relationship with yourself.
You are so right Janet that this blog proves beyond doubt that taking responsibility for your choices can totally change your life and Tim is a living example.
Most of us at some point in our life have attempted a diet or two and we all know deep down they don’t work because they are not sustainable. You get the goal and go back to your old ways. What Tim has done and shared with us is that it is a lifestyle change and so the cravings are not there, the sagging skin is not there and the fact that he looks younger and more alive in his current photo says it all.
It makes me wonder Bina about dieting being like a drug that we use, designed to keep us away from feeling who we are, by focusing on that we are not enough.
That’s a really good point Jen and one I can relate to as I reflect on all the different methods I’d used in the past to lose weight; calorie counting; rigorous health regimes; meal replacement shakes; will power – all failed attempts. And all based on ‘not being good enough’ and trying to ‘fix a problem’. The constant focus on weight and body image was like an addiction. There was a momentary feeling elation on losing a kilo or two, but this was always followed by a deep despair every time ‘I fell off the wagon’ so to speak. Absolutely none of it supported me to have a relationship with my body or to feel into what was going on for me in any way. I love how Tim shares that he started to express more and say how he truly felt, and by not holding on to emotions his body could let go of more and more weight. This has been my experience as well, albeit visually less dramatic as I wasn’t carrying as much weight as Tim, but equally healing and liberating.
Thank you Tim for sharing your story! There are many people who struggle with dieting and being overweight. And you are a living example that it is possible to loose weight naturally without dieting or doing a lot of sport, simply by starting to self care and self love.
I love what you share about that you express more and that you tell how you are feeling and the impact this has on your body and weight. It is so inspiring how you share about your journey and that it is not about diets or having a goal, but about how you live, express and how you take care of yourself. I love the photo’s, and both of you just look gorgeous. It’s not just the weight that is different, but the way you shine in the photo is the biggest change. Thank you Tim for your sharing.
Tim, you are truly amazing and your story is such a gorgeous example about how the choices we make from our innermost can significantly impact on our lives. It is not about rigid guidelines or practices but truly feeling from our bodies.
Very true Anne, when we make it about what we ‘should’ or ‘have’ to do we are already putting demands on ourselves and become demotivated when things don’t go to plan, whereas listening to our bodies and feeling what is right for us makes it more sustainable.
That’s right Tim, I have found for myself that it is not about ticking boxes or following others’ notions of what is good or not good for me, it’s about listening to myself. Everybody’s body is unique and only we can feel what is going on in our body, no one can do it for us.
The ‘should’s and the ‘have to’s are trap that is so easy to fall into. I’ve thought countless times ‘I shouldn’t eat that,’ and then I feel SO bad after, not only because I have eaten something that’s not good for my body, but also because of breaking my self-made rule of what is right and wrong!
Yes Meg, those self-made rules of what is right and wrong are absolute killers – something we have created and can choose to be attached to, to stop ourselves feeling what is true about ourselves.
What a truly inspirational story Tim. Diets are doomed to fail from the minute they are begun, as it’s all about an outcome and not about understanding; why the weight was gained in the first place; why you eat; how you eat; and what you eat. As you most wisely say; “ only by making it a way of life’ can you truly succeed in controlling and sustaining weight loss”; and in my experience, with that loss comes so much gain.
That is it Ingrid and Tim, unless you look at and heal why you are eating and what you are eating then it will remain the same. We have be brought up to find the quickest and fastest solution which is all results drivin. As we can see when we look around the world that this is working.
Thank you Tim for sharing your story. Understanding why you eat what you eat and understanding that loosing weight is not just about the food you eat but also about other choices like expressing your truth and expressing how you feel, truly is a revelation
I agree Katinka, I find it fascinating that if we don’t look at why we are choosing something everything else is a solution and it’s like putting on a band aid hoping it will get better over time.
This is absolutely gold, thank you for sharing Tim. I love how you have allowed yourself with certain things to gradually let go of them. I have had the same experience with coffee. I first changed it to decaf and added soy milk instead of cow’s milk, as I loved it frothy cappuccino style, and at some point I simply didn’t need it anymore and could let go of it for good.
What you say Esther is so true. Often we impose on ourselves the idea that we have to give something up because we know it is bad for us and then force ourselves to stop having it. This all comes from a harshness towards ourselves and really doesn’t work. Instead the way you suggest by treating ourselves lovingly, finding healthier substitutes and then waiting until we feel don’t need it any more (having lost our attachment to it) we can let go of it for good. I have been amazed at what I and my partner no longer need, often things that at sometime I felt I could not live without, a cup of English Breakfast tea for example (a life long addiction I thought) but now I never think about it. This way is effortless and easy.
Thanks Tim, what an awesome account of how you lost weight… “it was more a choice to start to love and support myself in a way I had never contemplated before.”
Choosing to self care and self love is indeed true medicine!
Yes, very true Johanne. The way I was heading was on the express road to many illnesses and diseases, so the choice to self love and self care has been the best medicine I could ever have taken and has certainly saved the NHS a £ or two.
Practical as ever. Just to consider the financial implications of your choices, Tim, on the NHS is amazing. You were heading towards being a burdensome statistic and are now an inspiration for many for taking responsibility for our own health.
I agree Matilda, Tims story is amazing and deserves to be celebrated and studied – the implications it has are huge. Thank you for sharing Tim and showing us all the glorious man that you are.
I agree, studied and celebrated….not even the cost to the NHS of operations to remove excess skin!
Paradoxically as there has become less of you physically, we all get to see more of the beautiful gentle-man you are.
I agree James the transformation is incredible but the choices you have made to support the health system shows your level of respect and commitment to living with vitality and responsibility to the community.
Well said Tim. Saving the health system money and at the same time caring about your role in the community to be reflecting responsibility in living a vital and health life.
And we can be so aware of our own bodies! On the weekend passed – I attended a Universal Medicine course where I was able to feel my organs (liver, pancreas, gall bladder, spleen) It was amazing – I could feel each one and have a deeper understanding of how my system was working.
There is massive potential in understanding ourselves and taking responsibility. Universal Medicine has blown me away with this fact.
I agree Hannah..and this course was not some high level anatomy and physiology course only open to a select intellectual few….we can all re-learn to feel, should we so choose, how brilliant is that?
Yes you are so right, it always amazes me what gets presented to us through Serge Benhayon. Thanks to Serge for his ongoing support and unshakable Love he hold us in.
Raising the factor of how the NHS saves money through your lifestyle changes is a great point Tim, it shows the worth there is investing in self care to really change how we feel about ourselves. This has such an all round, all encompassing affect on so many aspects of our health. For you the weight dropped of but you also got the overall health benefits from the lifestyle you now live, its just seems such a simple win win, the question is why it isn’t more widely adopted. Here’s to the teaching and philosophy of Universal Medicine which is a perfect antidote to our crazy modern lifestyles.
Ha, you could say that losing your few pounds has saved the NHS a few £’s.
Looking at the before and after photos of you and Bina, I can see the joy and vitality in your faces, what an amazing turn around, and shows that choosing to take Life as the Best Medicine works, and it’s free!
That is the power that we are capabile of in every choice we make as you say Tim. You certainly have saved the NHS many many £ that they don’t have.
Joanne, it really is true medicine, choosing to self care and self love. If this was taught in the NHS and schools, we would have less people suffering from critical illness, they would have a choice to choose more loving options for themselves, just like we have.
An awesome sharing Tim offering a huge support to any potential dieters out there.
“So when I am now asked how I lost weight, I can express that I feel diets do not work, and that only by making it a ‘way of life’ can you truly succeed in controlling and sustaining weight loss.”
So true and this has been my experience too after years of diets that did not work to now eating in a way that truly supports my body and this is where the change took place. No more watching my weight, I just observed as it found its true way.
Love the way you observed as your body found its true way. So many health practitioners tell us what is a good target weight for us, and many on diets struggle to lose that last couple of pounds. Tim’s example of making it a way of life, gives the natural size and shape that supports us.
Yes, it is amazing – once we know why we eat something, over time you will have a choice. If you don’t know why, it is extremely difficult. So simple.
Beverley thank you for your honest comment. I feel that it is very much needed that what you and Tim found out has to be shared e.g. at the weight watchers or at other institutes who are offering diets. It is such a big change in how you look at your body and diets now and also so much inspiring – wunderbar.
Tim, your story is absolutely amazing. Most of all, to see the JOY radiating from you now (in addition to the weight loss) – wow. Both yourself and your wife Bina are absolutely glowing, radiant…
Clearly you were not only presented with the understandings presented by Serge Benhayon, but you yourself actively chose to bring such awarenesses to your own life – making the choices that felt right for you step by step along the way.
I can absolutely relate to the ‘bridging’ steps you took, and letting yourself feel what was underlying the choice to have certain foods, etc. This is such a sensible and real approach to our own health – one where we take responsibility in full for ourselves, and need not follow some outer ‘regime’ in weight loss that for the most part is not sustainable and does little or nought to address why we may have habits that are harmful to our bodies in the first place.
Yes, we’ll spotted. It is not just the weight loss there is definitely a feeling of joy, openess and I would say commitment to life, as in the photo on the left Tim looks completely given up on life. That is a pretty big and powerful transformation and really inspiring.
I agree there is more commitment to life as before there was a given up on life feeling. Well done Tim for turning it around.
Paradoxically as Tim’s weight falls and his body is physically smaller, he is growing as a person – how beautiful is that for all of us who get to meet him and be greeted by him.
I love it Kathie, so true.
I agree Vicky really powerful and inspiring… This is such a big one and how others have shared it can be hard to put weight on. Either way it is about making a commitment to a deeper connection with your self and listening to what is telling you and what has also been shared being honest about how you feel.
Thank you for sharing your experience Tim. I have experienced similar issues in the past, tried Macrobiotic diet which only worked temporarily. I am so glad to have found Universal Medicine which was real eye opening and found out that dieting doesn’t work. It is about making self loving choices on a daily basis and not looking at the final stage or as you said you end up celebrating with food again which causes the weight gain at the first place. TRULY AMAZING.
I too had this experience, trying different diets and all with varying degrees of success in terms of weight loss. What I observe when I look back, is that even when on one particular diet where I was very successful in losing weight, I still felt the same inside (the happiness I thought I’d find as a result of losing weight wasn’t there and I was petrified of putting the weight back on). In other words, there was a constant pressure to maintain the diet and weight loss, and invariably, the weight always crept back on. It was only when I was introduced to Universal Medicine and began to connect back to self-care that I experienced natural weight loss, and without specifically trying to do so, so for me too it’s definitely about “making self loving choices on a daily basis”.
I agree with this – diets are quite crazy making – I grew up with a diet addicted mother and it was really distressing to watch the desperate futility and suffering she went through – for fifty years and also my siblings ! I chose to be “healthy” and weight was not a big problem for me – then later on after hearing the wisdom of choosing to be “self-loving ” any excess weight fell off me and I returned to the size I was at 17 years of age when I felt awesome in my body and always considered this age marker to be my “correct” body size.
I never had much time for diets either, Angela. Over the years the weight crept up, but I was tall enough to carry it well and at size 14 people still saw me as slim. Then I began to eat lovingly, didn’t want gluten and dairy in my body and without any intention to diet, got back to my 17 year old natural skinny shape. And gosh, it feels good.
I remember my great aunty at 70+ holding her stomach and saying she needed to diet, I could’t believe she would be worried about it, but it just shows how you feel about yourself does not change as you get older. The change has to come from within and how much you love and care for yourself. As I have recently put on weight for various reasons mainly to do with not wanting to feel, I don’t address it from what I am eating but whats going on underneath and making the self loving steps to support my body again. All the while loving the body I am in whatever the size.
Yes Vanessa, and we are seeing that at the other end of the scale as well with very young children disliking their bodies, how tragic that is that we allow that much self consciousness to take over at that age, whereby it doesn’t allow the child to just grow up loving themselves whatever shape they take.
Very true vanessamchardy, from the cradle to the grave, we are told that the outside is more important so age has no boundaries when it comes to our self-judgment. Making self-loving choices that support the body and knowing that we are worth those choices is the antidote to that self-judgment.
This is very respectful, giving yourself and your body the time to find its own size with a loving approach. Diets can never work because they are focussed onto getting somewhere but ignoring the body and its signs.
Your experience so match’s my own Angela. Dieting on and off over the years and always putting the weight back on and thinking that the slimmer I was the more I would find happiness I would be more content with my body shape but no different on the inside, and the pressure of putting it all back again was always there. Through Universal Medicine I have made changes too, changes in my diet and the way I live. They say that “prevention is better than cure” and Universal Medicine presents a true way to heal our bodies through self-care and making self loving choices.
So true Ariana. ‘I’m this when I get that’ was always a constant hurdle for me – but really it is a game we play to take us very far away from self love. Because we are enough already if we choose to see that
I love that comment Ariana ‘we are the same us’ whatever we get. That only changes when we make those self loving choices – from the inside.
Absolutely Ariana, we are worth so much more than a piece of chocolate cake or even a whole one and we are so much more super delicious too with a divine tender sweetness within.
This is parallel to what I went through Angela, only I had it the other way round, trying to put weight on, and when I did, I was in constant anxiousness of dropping it, I was continuously empty. Although this is the opposite to loosing weight it is still comes from the same hurt, a feeling of not being good enough until you are a certain weight, but even then realising you don’t value yourself. I too have found from the teachings of Universal Medicine that when connecting to my body and caring for it in the ways it needs, it naturally finds it’s shape.
Thats a good point Oliver, we can lose or put on as much weight as we want but if we don’t value ourselves, if we have self-worth issues, it is never going to be enough. Having the commitment to make those consistent self-loving choices to truly nurture and nourish our bodies is the first step in appreciating ourselves for who we are.
This is so true as I have felt the same. The self worth factor is a big one when it comes to our own sense of who we are and what we have to offer. No amount of dieting and weight loss can change the inside.
This will be the start of a revolution that weight loss is about “making self loving choices on a daily basis” and many will learn from Tim’s story and the many others who are losing weight through self love.
100% agree Ariana – we are worth more than a shop-full of chocolate cakes! Nothing we can eat, buy, get or become is more than the loveliness that has always been within.
Such an illusion as you say Ariana and I know I have totally fallen for this one. To be free of such shackels means I can simply stop relying on things outside of me to ‘make me’ who I am and to truly start to accept that I am and have everything I possible need already. Quite the opposite and it feels amazing.
Ah ha, but chocolate cake is so yummy…. I was a total chocoholic and I loved my puddings, but since I have given up dairy, gluten and refined sugars and started to make loving choices for myself, a piece of chocolate cake is nothing compared to the Joy I feel in my heart. Apart from the fact that my weight has stabilised for the first time in my life, without trying.
I love seeing these words in print. Dieting doesn’t work.
We keep berating ourselves, thinking we are hopeless and weak-willed and yet it is a set-up for us to fail and keep going round in circles. How great to have found a way with food that really works and isn’t hard at all.
What an amazing story. I have known you since 2005. I have seen your beautiful transformation and you are proof that living a life with True Integrity and making Loving choices daily can make a difference. You are an inspiration.
Thank you QA.
Wow Tim! Amazing transformation. I found this article as I googled you and Bina to try and get back in touch. Would’ve great to see you.
Yes you are Tim, an inspiration and a shining example of your Livingness. And as the song says “things can only get better” – watch out world for here he comes!!
It is true, an inspiration you are Tim and amazing for the world to truly see how losing weight and getting to your natural weight can be fun and simple without the pressures of diets.
A great point you make Amina about the “pressures of diets”.
I was a serial yo-yo dieter and the latest diet lasted a few days. I always felt a failure and dieting confirmed that to me over and over again.
Is it any surprise that the number one best sellers in January are diet books.
Being sensible and having a natural approach to losing weight is what Tim is clearly showing us and just imagine if more people had access to this blog. Tim was morbidly obese and living with him now feels like I have a totally new husband – it is not just the weight loss but his whole way of living and expressing has been turned around.
And this has all happened because he choose to make loving choices for himself and started to eat what was good for his body. I was a yo-yo dieter too, and I agree, they never worked, and every time I lost weight I could sustain it for a while and then I would put more back on than I had lost! Making loving choices and keeping it simple is truly the answer, and then your body will come back to its natural weight.
This is beautiful to read and highlights how obesity is not just about excess weight but how it can also affect all other areas of a person’s life – people’s relationships, home life and how they feel about themselves – are just three examples.
Completely agree Tim you are a great inspiration, keeping it simple with loving choices.