Since 2007, I have lost over 12 stone (76 kg) without dieting. I often get asked how I lost weight, so here is my story…
As a child and then into my teens I was always very skinny and acutely conscious of that fact. After I joined the army at age 16 I started to put on weight and from then I have always had an issue with both controlling my weight and sustaining any weight loss I did have.
There were periods in my life where I was at a healthy weight but for the most part I was overweight.
At around the age of 40-44, I was at my heaviest and weighed over 27 and a half stone (175 kg).
Up until that point the diets I had tried to control my weight (and there were many) never worked. Yes, I would initially lose weight but it would always come back on because I couldn’t or didn’t want to sustain it. I wasn’t willing to let go of the foods, like bread, pasta, chocolate, alcohol, cakes etc. that I knew to be the cause of my weight gain.
In 2007 things started to change. I began to attend the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and there I gained a better understanding of:
- How food truly affects my body,
- Why I choose to eat these foods,
- Why I choose to eat the quantity of food that I was eating,
- When I choose to eat these foods.
I had never been presented with this knowledge before and so with this understanding I was able to start making changes that truly supported me.
It wasn’t easy at first as I had to undo over 30 years of neglect and abuse. One thing that really helped me was to use ‘bridging’ as a tool. I knew if I came off a certain food ‘cold turkey’ it would be very hard to continue so, for instance, with something like coffee (I loved my cappuccino with chocolate sprinkles). I first started with decaf coffee, then after a while I went onto soya milk, then no chocolate sprinkles and then eventually no coffee at all.
Apart from alcohol, which I stopped straight away, I found that I could substitute all of the foods that didn’t support me and eventually come off them altogether. Trying to control my weight loss or sustain it wasn’t even a consideration at this point, it was more a choice to start to love and support myself in a way I had never contemplated before. Naturally, as a by-product of this new change the weight started to fall off.
What was also a big revelation for me was the fact that because I had started to express more and say how I truly felt I was losing even more weight. I wasn’t holding onto stuff as much so therefore my body could let go of it.
It has been 7 years now and when people find out that I have lost all this weight they are very surprised, mainly because I don’t have any sagging skin that is associated with a large loss of weight. I am able to share with them that the way I lost weight and kept it off it has been done gradually. I also share that if I had seen it as a diet then it would have become goal orientated and as soon as I reached my intended weight I would have wanted to celebrate, which would have resulted in going back to the foods that put the weight on in the first place.
I also share that I lost the weight without having to go through any rigorous exercise regime. My only form of exercise was walking at a normal pace for a minimum of 15 minutes and occasionally I went to the gym for weight training.
My weight at the moment is just over 15 and a half stone (99 kg) and the weight loss is an ongoing process.
So when I am now asked how I lost weight, I can express that I feel diets do not work, and that only by making it a ‘way of life’ can you truly succeed in controlling and sustaining weight loss.
By Tim Bowyer, Age 51, London Bus Driver
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As a serial, life-long yo-yo dieter Tim I relate to your story. The only problem is I’ve always had the knowledge part you describe – and that hasn’t been enough to affect lasting change. Now, thanks to my own relationship with Universal Medicine, I am able look at the issues behind my weight gain and loss story, which has been primarily about my relationship with awareness and not wanting to feel what I could/can feel all around me generally, and as a result of specific incidences. This is the part I am now working on – acknowledging what has taken place, developing true self-worth, and strengthening my self-love so it allows me to be OK with what I feel in myself and in society.
Impressive story Tim. You make it sound simple, the way you did it is true example for the many people that are strugggling with their weight.
Your weight loss Tim is extremely inspiring and goes to show that an honest, steady and consistent commitment to caring for ourselves is one of the wisest tricks in human life for us to master.
These days I am very slim and petite and people are often very jealous of this. What I have come to realise is that we all know when we are not our true size and this brings up a discomfort in us. I used to be 20 kgs heavier and most of that weight was due to bloating from absorbing everything that was going on around me as well as me protecting myself from the world. I used my weight as a fortress, which of course did not work at all.
Working out the reasons we may overeat is paramount for healing and change to occur. I know I do it to release the tension I have in my body because I have not lived the love I know myself to be. When we dampen our light in anyway we always pay the consequences.
Awesome Tim , so wonderfull you have shared this true life experience with your weight and the truth you found about dieting. I love the way you described how you made the choice
” it was more a choice to start to love and support myself in a way I had never contemplated before “
I have been wondering why we can lose a lot of weight when we have a major illness and then promptly put it back on once we have recovered. What if the extra weight has a purpose, a purpose that is not needed when we are very ill? Losing weight is stressful for the body. Why does the body go through that process when it is already in a very stressful situation and why doesn’t it do so in all cases?
Amazing to observe the change but also feel the difference in quality of expression in the before and after photos.
Yes Michael the light coming through in the after photos is sparkling and no hiding whatsoever, you get what you see.
What you are sharing here is such a powerful message. You highlight how losing weight, returning to your true body shape, was not sustained from what you ate alone, but more so from a choice to love yourself and appreciate who you are, through which your choices reflected this. In honouring yourself the choices you made were naturally self-honouring. In other words, what you have shown us is, how the quality of love in which we hold for ourselves reflects the quality of choices we make and as such the quality of life we live.
I agree. I find that my fluctuations in weight don’t seem to be closely connected to what I eat and how much of it, though that could be a coincidence.
I am not on a diet but for the last nine months I have enjoyed monitoring my weight every day. Despite eating extremely regularly and almost always identical amounts every single day, my weight still fluctuates considerably – sometimes as much as much as 0.5kg within one day. This is entirely dependent NOT now what I have eaten but what I have taken on – thus I am of no doubt (and have nine months of proof) that weight is to do with so much more than just the food I am eating. As your blog so brilliantly exposes.
That’s a fascinating science experiment, Otto! Clearly there is so much more to the science of weight loss than the industry is currently willing to look at. What if weight loss is about choices, attitude and energetically what we take on; wouldn’t this change our whole approach to dieting and the way we eat, as Tim has shown?
This is very interesting Otto. I have noticed the same thing with my weight. It can fluctuate considerably in a day. How does one explain that if one’s diet has not changed?
We have a lot of information and knowledge around food and yet the basics of why, what, when and how we eat what we eat there is still so much for us globally to explore. And as it goes to show by your sharing Tim is that these questions can open up to greater levels of health and well-being that in society we have yet to reach.
Interesting how you did not even question, why, when, what of how you ate your food until you were presented with the opportunity to do so at a Universal Medicine event. Shows how so many just eat what they feel without even questioning whether the impulse to do so was true or not.
A great example of what can be gained from a loss. It is the way we deal with an issue rather than being driven by a goal.
Today I saw on the back of a bus an advertisement for a slimming company and it said something along the lines of eat all your favourites and still lose weight, this type of advertising is really irresponsible as it sets you up fail. The only true way is the way you have done it Tim and that was learn to listen truly to the body and eat from a place of connection to yourself.
This is such a great before and after blog, not only are you visually showing the benefits of your lived choices, but your transformation on how you are with yourself just jumps off the page. There is so much to celebrate here, the fact that you have a love for your body that you didn’t ever think possible.
Even without reading your article Tim, you can see and feel the transformation in more than just your body by just looking at your photos…. and I have a sense your partner is also on the living, loving way.
This deserves to be a case study as it sheds a true light on the whole dieting, weight loss and obesity problems. There is more ‘going on’ that is on the plate. What are we ingesting other than the food we eat and what are we not letting go of or expressing?
Tim you look and feel so joyful and alive now, it is truly inspiring
What stands out when you look at before and afters from Reality TV shows or magazines using dieting and extreme exercising alone is yes they have lost weight but their is a hardness and tension in their face and body from pushing themselves. Many then go back to their previous behaviours and choices because it wasn’t done in the quality of love or by the impulse of their body. Looking at your after photos Tim yes there is a substantial weight lose but really you’ve lost so much of what has not been you and have only replaced it with love for yourself.
The photos you have included in this blog show that you have shed much more than excess body weight, you have shed burdens as well, and there is a joy and lightness in you that speaks volumes for both yourself and Universal Medicine.
It is inspiring to read how the weight dropped off without trying, and it makes sense that if we express more of our feelings and do not hold onto what we want to say, then there would be less need to fill up with food to numb ourselves.
This huge revelation could put a whole lot of people out of business within the diet and exercise business, and to think how many billions a year are spent on diets in all it’s many forms.
I had a similar experience after a life time of failed dieting and feeling a failure because of it, I lost about 20kg with Universal Medicine to reach and sustain a very healthy weight and way of living which has remained stable for over 10 years now. The big difference was that my food choices naturally changed due to my increased awareness and loving choices – there was no dieting or imposition involved. Previously my dieting had all been coming from self-criticism, attempts at control, imposition etc and not love.
Another thing that made a huge difference was as I learnt to deepen my connection to myself and my body such that I was able to observe situations and gain understanding rather than react (this is still a work in progress) and absorb. I discovered a large part of my weight was not even food related, but bloating due to taking on emotions and reactions of others.
Tim this blog is an inspiration for all to read, obesity is rife and all around us. I have work colleagues who have gone to extreme gastric surgery so they can lose that excessive weight but internally they are no different. Seldom have I seen them make any choices to support them in how they have reached that weight in the first place.
I was always on a diet and as you already mentioned they were goal orientated and the celebration period often led me back to my old ways – I didn’t have much to lose either, probably half a stone! So why did I need to be on a diet then?
But if we explored why we made these choices to overeat then people would save so much money on the perfect diet that’s going to reverse it all. What if people really explored deep within what you have presented and gained a better understanding of ‘how and why’? They would save a lot of time, space and energy on the trying, hoping and praying that the number on the scale fulfills the image you want instead of what is natural for you.
Quite the transformation, I would love to read more about the relationship between expressing how we feel and losing weight. Not holding a burden seems like a science we give short shrift to, but is there more to understand than meets the eye. Like so much of life that we look in a straight line at, it would seem almost certain that there is a link between sharing feelings and managing weight, by the very fact of emotional eating this would seem to be true, but that surely only scratches the surface of how sharing our innermost voice affects our weight.
“So when I am now asked how I lost weight, I can express that I feel diets do not work, and that only by making it a ‘way of life’ can you truly succeed in controlling and sustaining weight loss.” So true Tim. Diets usually are about yo-yo dieting and people tend to put back more then when they started out on weight loss programmes. A calorie is not just a calorie. There is far more to it than that.
‘I wasn’t holding onto stuff as much so therefore my body could let go of it’ – How incredible Tim. THIS is what they should be presenting at weight loss or diet programs, that there is so much more to our weight than the food. I think a lot of people would feel so much more empowered to address the patterns causing their excess weight, because for some it really is little to do with the quantity of what they eat.
Tim, your transformation is amazing, also the fact that you have sustained it shows this was no fad diet. Going directly to the cause, dealing with underlying emotions and changing the way you live you show just what powerful change can occur.
Making changes gradually and consistently, as you say making it a way of how you live, is the key to anything where we feel and know change is necessary. With anything else we are just fooling ourselves as we want a change but do not want to give up our behaviours that cause the problem we want to change.
I really love what you are saying here Tim about how diets do not work. So many people have shown that to be the case. Learning to live true to ourselves and from there listening to our body so that we know what to eat is a much healthier and wiser thing to do.
Expressing how we feel being a testimonial as part of your losing weight, this is a truth that has to be widely shared. As in truth our physical bodies have a very close relationship with our expression, and how to sustain this to be a truly supportive relationship, also is our relationship with the Divine.
Such a beautiful story Tim of taking responsibility for your health and well-being and for making wise and self loving choice. Thank you, very inspirational.
It’s like we all know diets don’t work. They simply don’t, or t least they give you the illusion they do for a very short period of time, yet we are still hooked by them, because we simply do not want to responsibility of knowing that weight gain is not just about the type of food we eat or the level of exercise we participate in. Not holding back who we are is a MASSIVE piece of the puzzle, and deny that is just plain and simply, ignorant.
Thanks Tim…. It must be a living way that effects permanent change … otherwise it is just another band-aid that must eventually come off, or in this case , go back on !
Inspiring Tim, the ‘love’ diet is certainly working. You look great.
I love the message here that it the way we live that holds the answers to the situations we find ourselves in and this is where we can find true answers.
This is all great advice for those who have an issue with their weight, whether that’s too much or too little. “Diets don’t work” seems to be the very clear message and has been my experience too. Focussing on being more loving with yourself does ‘work’ beautifully as not only may your body shape change, but you will feel good about yourself. This is worth way more than meeting any desirable body image.
Stories like yours should be on TV Tim. If more people heard about what you did and have learnt through the process, both about yourself and life in general, there would be far more truth out there about how weight loss truly works. So much better than those shows about who can lose the most weight or who can cook the healthiest food?
It’s awesome how you turn the concept of dieting on its head Tim and have made it not just about what you are taking into your body but also about what you are letting out in your expression. For me what stands out in this story is how everything is connected and it was only when you were willing to look at not just how you were abusing your body with all the foods that you were loading it down with but also how damaging it was to not openly express what you were feeling that you have been able to support yourself and your body and the weight loss/adjustment has continued and been sustained. You feel so solid and joyful and are an enormous inspiration for all as the choices you have made are open to everyone.
Goes to show that we hold far more emotionally in our bodies than we hold just from eating poorly alone. We can go on a healthy diet and still be overweight simply because of the unhealed emotions we live with.
There are many reasons people eat, it can be for reward, it can be to numb ourselves it can be to dull ourselves so we don’t shine so brightly, we can eat to avoid what is really going on.
What you have done Tim is groundbreaking in you didn’t concentrate on “dieting” you just committed to getting to the real issue. When we are brave enough to go for the real issue we get real results.
I agree Sarah, it’s just about shedding the surrounding layers that obscure the constant light that shines brilliantly within,