The question is often asked – how much sleep do we need? There are lots of ideals and beliefs around how much sleep we need, and how this changes due to our age or what we do. I learned a lot about this when I was studying for a diploma in Herbal Medicine.
But I have noticed that it’s not really about how long I sleep, but the quality of sleep that I am getting.
If I go to sleep with unresolved emotional issues, and a million thoughts going through my head, or if I have had a tough day with my daughter and not taken the time to discuss it with her, it really affects the quality of my sleep. I may have the suggested 8 hours sleep but the quality is poor due to the fact that I have so many undealt-with issues.
All of these things that I take to bed with me can be very tiring because on some level my body is still processing them all night long – and when I wake, I feel tired and as if I haven’t really slept at all.
What’s the solution? What changes to sleep and the quality of my sleep have I made?
- First of all, there is no such thing as perfection, so just taking baby steps is a good start. I sometimes forget and just fall asleep in a state of exhaustion, but that is changing with time.
- I have committed to communicating with my family and loved ones so that if anything comes up, it can be dealt with there and then before I go to sleep, rather than brushed under the carpet to be dealt with when there is time. There is never enough time and all these issues just keep building on each other until the pile is massive and much harder to deal with.
- I prepare myself for sleep. I try to not get too excited or do activities that are stimulating my nervous system for a few hours before my sleep time. So no doing accounting or business emails after 5pm! I have recently been taking the time to have a shower – not just to get clean, but as a loving ritual for myself… and I really enjoy it. After my shower it feels great to spend a little time putting cream on my body and giving myself a massage. My skin really needs it as I have neglected it most of my life.
- I make time to wind down, to be with myself and relax. This helps because then I don’t end up in bed wired, feeling like I will never fall asleep.
- When I do go to bed, I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed. I really take the time to get comfortable, so that my body feels fully supported.
I deserve to love and care for myself fully, and it’s something that I had never really taken time to do. We often give this much care to others and our children but forget to also give that same care and dedication to ourselves.
So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep. I learned these simple ways from presentations by Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon, and from my own experimenting and experience.
By Rosie Bason, Mullumbimby, NSW
A great reminder for us to feel everything is complete from the day within our bodies before we go to sleep and if not then to nominate what we feel is unresolved so not holding onto it.
Sleep is an over rated commodity and like everything that is in this physical world is ‘indulged in’ and now with the understanding that our bodies can go into a rhythm that supports our sleeping patterns that allow us to go into a deep repose-full sleep, so our bodies are rested with a minimal amount of time being wasted in bed.
Quite simply the more purpose I feel in my life the less I feel I need to sleep, I get up filled with enthusiasm for what I can bring to the day ahead.
Not being over-tired when we go to bed adds so much to the quality of our sleep and so our winding down as you have shared Rosie, is of great importance.
Connecting to our essences and or inner-temple provides the most amazing support for us to be totally rested so our sleep is nurturing for our bodies.
Last night I got home late after crawling through hellish traffic and a whole bunch of other situations that led to a lot of reaction. I was sure that I was going to sleep terribly as I got home sweaty, hot, tired and grumpy. I lay on the bed without a cover as I was too hot for the duvet. I paused and asked my myself how could I support myself to sleep. The next instance I covered myself with the duvet and tucked myself in like a sausage. It wasn’t suffocatingly hot and I did actually have a better sleep than was expected! The moral of the story is that the body knows how to support itself when we listen.
I love the idea of having a shower and time for you before going to bed. I normally have a shower in the morning but maybe need to change this or even better feel when to have a shower or bath in the evening and when to have one in the morning as I feel the key is being able to listen to what we need to support us and honour this.
Sugar exhausts me emotionally and physically and directly effects my sleep.
The quality we sleep in must have a knock on effect into our next day and then our day must also then be complete so we can sleep deeply and thus be fully rested so we can give our all in the next day and this rhythm will continue to be a foundation that will continue through out our lives if we so choose.
When we listen to our body it tells us what is best to eat, what time it needs to go to bed and if it needs to rest. It is super simple yet in our modern day society we have negated this and hence why there is such huge illness and disease statistics.
Not speaking up and honouring how I feel no doubt disturbs my rhythm of sleep. For every movement I make in my day that honours how I feel, bares the consequences of having a good night’s sleep. I cannot separate a twenty-four hour cycle into day and night for how I am with myself in my day affects the quality of my sleep at night.
Rip Van Winkle, sleep forever and when we awaken to the True self then we are open to deepen our awareness and Loving ways, so that the way we sleep or go into repose will always support us even into our next life now that is True responsibility!
Sometimes, no matter how much sleep I get I can still end up exhausted. The more I look after my body during the day, the more I eat well, and take care of the quality I move in (i.e., less racing around, and more gentleness and stillness) the deeper I sleep at night. This changes the quality of sleep enormously.
‘I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed.’ Recently I shared an accommodation with 3 other students and we started a ritual with tucking in and a good night kiss. The tenderness and deep love touched all of us, provided a new level of intimacy and offered a great foundation for sleep.
If I go to sleep with unresolved emotional issues, and a million thoughts going through my head, or if I have had a tough day with my daughter and not taken the time to discuss it with her, it really affects the quality of my sleep.’ If we ‘mis-use’ sleep to deal with things that happened during the day, we deny ourselves the deepening that is on offer during the night.
Great to reflect on the extent to which we make our life about quality and the presence of our being, or the ideals – the pictures of how/what we think we/life should be. The former brings a richness and a depth to our life and our relationships, the latter dampens it down and disconnects us.
When I take the time to prepare myself for sleep by taking a warm bath, moisturising my skin, blowing my hair dry so it feels lovely in the morning and organising my sheets and bed clothes before I sleep, the way I wake feels completely different to if I get caught using a screen before bed and going onto social media which has a way of sucking me in and totally disturbing my sleep,as I go to bed later and feel far less rested in the morning.
“….it’s not really about how long I sleep, but the quality of sleep that I am getting.” I have come to realise the importance of this quality too, and how dependant it is on how I have spent my previous day. Which brings a responsibility of how I am choosing to live and interact with everyone I meet.
How my day has been lived, how I am feeling as I wind down for sleep, do have an impact on how I sleep, and that then has an impact on how I wake and feel the next morning, everything is connected.
I find the quality of my sleep is down to how settled I feel at the end of the day – and how settled I feel is down to if I have given the day my 100 percent – in my work, in all my responsibilities at home and in all my relationships, then when you lie down at the end of the day my body can deeply rest, otherwise there is a constant tension of not living or not giving what I know i could have.
I love what you share here, Meg and I can relate to it a lot. For me without completion in all areas of the day is key in how I can surrender my body over to sleep. Checking out doesn’t work for me and leaves me feeling tired in the morning.
I love what you bring into your wind down routine to support you to have a quality sleep, ‘I make time to wind down, to be with myself and relax. This helps because then I don’t end up in bed wired, feeling like I will never fall asleep.
When I do go to bed, I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed. I really take the time to get comfortable, so that my body feels fully supported.’
I find I can still do work before going to bed but it is the quality of the way I work by not taking it on or getting caught in any issues that allows me to surrender and let go in my sleep
Bringing awareness to how, or more so the quality in which I go to sleep has been life changing. I now understand the incredible opportunity we have to maximise our rest, our bodies restoration and rejuvenation and deepening in connection to our being through the quality in which I wind down, approach and go to sleep. And yes agreed with quality as the focus the quantity has been redefined and has my vitality upon waking with a readiness to live the day that awaits.
Thank you Rosie, I still have a lot to learn about sleep and quality of sleep. Your words here really rang true for me “All of these things that I take to bed with me can be very tiring because on some level my body is still processing them all night long – and when I wake, I feel tired and as if I haven’t really slept at all.” I really know this as it happens a lot, thank you for the clarity of what you have expressed, it’s also given me a lot of inspiration for taking better care of myself and my quality of sleep.
I have been looking at changing the way I put myself to bed in the evenings and have found that I still brush over very basic levels of self care such as taking time for me to put cream on my skin and the way you describe it here ‘After my shower it feels great to spend a little time putting cream on my body and giving myself a massage. My skin really needs it as I have neglected it most of my life.’ feels so caring towards yourself and is in fact a very basic level of self care.
Sleep is not so much about the act per se but about what comes before it. Are we cherishing ourselves enough for example to prepare for sleep so that we can receive the rest we need?
When we do things with true purpose we find we have more energy, do things for any other reason and we will feel like we are wading through mud. Far better to go with the flow of the universe rather than resist God’s flow.
Last night I committed to taking great care with the way I put myself to bed being aware of when I was wanting to reach for sugar and why. It wasn’t that early when I fell asleep and certainly not as early as I would have liked but it didn’t matter as the quality was there and today I have woken up naturally early feeling well rested and very much alive.
I find building a rhythm in my body of going to bed early deeply supports my quality I am in during the day.
My rhythm is my foundation – if I take this away life becomes far more strenuous then it needs to be.
This blog reminds me of when we have an issue we are encouraged to ‘Sleep on it’ and then tomorrow things will be brighter, or it will be alright in the morning. I question the quality of sleep we get when we sleep on it?
That’s such a good point Julie, wait and see how you feel in the morning is commonly said to children when perhaps what is needed is a more honest conversation about what has lead to a child feeling exhausted and or emotional, have they eaten sugar and or not been getting enough sleep and if those simple elements are addressed first then this issue is no longer such an issue.
How much quality do we need everyday? A universe full! There’s no end to the depth we can live – if we want things to change it starts with this.
The way I go to bed affects my sleep quality as well as how I will face the next day. Knowing that this is a cycle in which each moment feeds the next one, gives me the understanding of how every choice matters and from there, I can establish a daily supportive and detailed routine that supports me to rest and vice versa.
We can sleep less hours and feel just as invigorated for the start of each day when we choose to make our day one of checking in with our body and listening rather than ignoring its call.
Yes this has been my experience also. The more I allow myself to be guided by the wisdom of my body the deeper, more rejuvenating and healing my sleep and the more connected and vital I awake.
We think we are at the mercy of our day and that we have so little control over our sleep but that is untrue. We make so many choices that result in the body we take to our beds, it is worth laying some foundations that, as you share treat us like a newborn baby.
So many people struggle with sleep and the impact this has on their lives is enormous. The ‘sleep experts’ don’t seem to have the answer and yet by reading this blog and others like it, the answer seems so simple.
One very important point when it comes to the amount of sleep we have is that if we wake up early and ready to go and then we decide to go back to sleep that can actually make us more tired and drained. I find I almost always feel brighter and more alert the first time I wake up than the second – which proves it’s not the amount of sleep we have but the quality.
This is something that I had not considered in the past, and I love the way it is phrased in this article….”All of these things that I take to bed with me can be very tiring because on some level my body is still processing them all night long…” We all know how we wake up thinking about the things that we were thinking about the night before….if my body feels these from those thoughts if I have not resolved them, then I agree a level of tension remains. This is something for us to look at in our every day lives, what do we leave unresolved, and is there something we can do that prepares us more for sleep? Great suggestions and inspiring us to consider how we care for ourselves in our daily lives.
In the last eight days I have become so aware of my need for sleep and the quality of it. I have been coughing on and off all day, and by the time night arrives I am so ready to go to sleep but no, that has not been happening as once my head touches the pillow I start to cough, and cough, and of course sleep is elusive. And if I manage to have a few hours the quality is not what it would normally be. I am starting to feel the effects of the lack of sleep, like being slower to understand something and rather clumsy at times. But I can’t go into stress and worry about it, simply allowing the healing process to unfold and my cough to heal. Then I know that my lovely supportive rhythm of sleep will return!
How I live affects how much sleep I need and now that I am committed to taking more loving care of myself the quality of my sleep has generally improved dramatically and my vitality and zest for life has been transformed. Despite experiencing all of this I have recently been making some less loving choices which have impacted the quality of my sleep and been observing how I am finding it challenging to get back on track despite ‘knowing’ what I need to do.
Sleep has become such a problem for so many. It’s interesting that we don’t look at the problem from the angle of how we live during the day and the quality we live in. If we live in drive, anxiety, stress and emotional angst then it makes sense that the body will have difficulty in winding down and sleeping at night.
And it will make sense that we get to a point that we need support to go to sleep! If we are willing to be honest then we will know how we got there and we will know how to redress the balance.
What supports me to have a great night’s sleep is to express all that I need to during the day. That way I am not going to bed with things unsaid and therefore nothing to distract me from sleep.
How we sleep is so reflected in how we live our day, take away all stimulants, TV, films, coffee, sugar and emotional upheaval and we have a chance to connect each night to the deep wonder and magic of the universe
Great call ‘So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep’ and something I am still very much learning!
Love this Shirley-Ann. No rules, or musts to beat ourselves up with. If we are honest with how we are feeling, our body tells us and then we simply respond.
And there is this huge difference between sleeping and resting. If I make sure there is rest and space in the day, then the amount of sleep I have had is alot less important than if I am go, go, go. That way of living wears me and my body down and I quickly become exhausted no matter how much sleep I have had.
Great point Simon. I too am making more space for myself and also resting in the day for short periods when my body calls me to do so. This makes a big difference to my overall well being and the quality of sleep I have at night.
How wonderful this deepening comment is, and this whole blog represents something deeper for us to look at:
‘So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep.’
Thank you for making it so accessible.
That is a good point as it exhausts us in many ways when we live in an unloving way.
Self-care and the love we let out and in during the day are the recipe for a good nights sleep.
I think commitment to life is a massive part of the way we sleep. I find the quality of my sleep is directly impacted by the quality of the moments before sleep, if I switch off or “relax” when I get home from work my sleep is just not the same as if I stay committed right until when I go to bed.
When I wake up early I often think that I need more sleep than I do, if I go into that I often feel more drained however if I get up and get on with it I find that I often have more energy.
We all know that if our children are over stimulated at all, from what they have eaten, how they have been playing before bedtime and what state they are in before we put them to bed that the chances of them going to sleep straight away are fairly minimal. So why do we think that it shouldn’t be any different for us as adults? The way we live throughout our day, how we unwind for bed and how we put ourselves to bed all contribute to how easily we get to sleep and the quality of the sleep we have…so putting ourselves to bed as gently and lovingly as we would a baby makes absolute sense.
Yes, we all need the same love and care no matter what age.
Hmmm, sounds lovely and reminds me that it is the time of the year to put the heated blanket back on the bed.
‘I deserve to love and care for myself fully,… ‘ and we all know this but it is a matter of living this, applying love and care in everything we do.
Knowing it is one thing, but putting it into action and living it is another.
It is true we often care for children but rarely give ourselves the same consideration as an adult – it’s as if we have become unimportant to ourselves.
Yes and we have to train ourselves to bring a level of care to ourselves.
Being with myself during the day guarantees a very supportive quality of sleep in the night. Although I sometimes don’t wake up, if I give myself some time to wake up my body and then step out and start a new day, I feel inspired to have another great day.
‘I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed’ This is so beautiful to read. How great that you made the choice to put yourself to bed as tenderly as you deserve so you can inspire others to do the same.
I love the way you prepare yourself to go to sleep Rosie. It feels deeply supportive and inspires me to refine my wind down time. Thank you
I find that completing things, to the extent that they can be completed, helps me to let go of the day and go to sleep at ease, with nothing unresolved. If I’m going to bed feeling a pressure of all the things I haven’t done yet, then I carry that into my sleep, and wake up feeling stressed and anxious. Learning to prioritise and make sure that I get done the things I really want to do first in my day, actually makes me feel more energised, partly because I’m not wasting or draining my energy by thinking about these things and not doing them. When we just get on and do what’s needed, the energy to do it is all right there.
And how good is it to wake up and not have yestserday’s left overs to start with. I love completion and the space that comes with it for what is next.
The more settled I am in the day, the better my sleep is at night. To support my quality of sleep further, I find that giving myself that wind down time before going to bed is an enormous support.
We get told that sleep is sleep and that we will feel better in the morning but often that is not the case. Going to sleep with unresolved issues and worries sets us up for a stressful nights sleep. Sometimes I even dream about work in my sleep. The way we live is reflected in the quality we wake up in.
These days, I just don’t try to go to sleep if there is an unresolved issue in the house, I talk about it even if it means going to bed later because once everything has been expressed, then my body is at ease and more able to really rest.
Thank you Rosie, that is profound and truly rejuvenating to hear. For it is in our hands the quality we go into our days and into our night — that determines our quality of sleep. So simple!
Beautiful Rosie – ‘how much quality do I need?’ is a question rarely asked in our world – the answer is all of the universe. No wonder we avoid asking when we choose to live just snippets of this. If we connect to the stars and the truth of who we are our sleep can only be sound. Thank you for sharing this.
You are spot on, the quality of our sleep is one hundred percent guaranteed by the quality of our day – and all the thousands of little (or even big) choices we make. If I go to bed committed, being super loving and nurturing I wake up early, committed and ready for the day, if I go to bed tired and drained and having not properly completed the day before, I wake up feeling the same – it makes sense.
If we are honest with ourselves and don’t override what we are feeling our bodies let us know exactly how much sleep we need. I haven’t used an alarm clock now for years because I always wake up when I need to. The mistake I often make though if I wake up too early, is not getting straight up, for staying in bed longer than needed actually drains me.
I know that one, I wake up early and I think oh no, I could sleep a bit more but when I wake the second time round, my back aches and I feel groggy and wish I had just got up the first time.
There is so much that can be said about honouring how much sleep we truly need, when I over sleep I can feel really sluggish the next day if however I wake up before my alarm and feel wide awake I get up and get on and that often feels super supportive.
Placing our efforts into living in a gentle way, which is the starting point for us being a student and so we can live in a way that will simply support our rhythm by going to bed early. Both being gentle and a good sleeping rhythm is the start of a strong platform or base that can become unbreakable. “Loving rituals” have to start simply, so we can build on them, just as you have shared Rosie.
Yes, having loving rituals builds a foundation from which we can grow and flourish.
What you have shared here Rosie feels spot on to me and I have experienced many of the same things, especially how when I have kept something inside me and not expressed it at the time it called for it to be dealt with, my sleep is ‘buzzy’, like I am living the unresolved issue in my dreams. I’ve also noticed how there have been nights where I went to bed later than normal, but since I wound down well, did my nightly gentle exercises/rituals and connected with my body, I awoke feeling refreshed and as if I had slept a full 8 hours. So I a agree that it is all about the quality, not quantity of sleep, just as this should be our focus in everything we do in life.
Absolutely it is also about the quality we are with ourselves when we do not fall asleep so well that we are beholding with ourselves. I have found that when I process at night when I hold myself, I still feel super held when I wake up. No perfection necessary.
Very true Elizabeth. Developing an honouring relationship with our bodies is really the only way for us to maximise our health and well-being, every other way we have tried simply is not working.
A great point, of many, you raise here Rosie is being aware of what it is we are taking to bed with us. Is it a body that is still caught up in the day OR is it a body that has lived, learned, resolved and let go, and confirmed our purpose of living, as such is in appreciation and surrender to the rest and rejuvenation that is offered through our sleep, in order for us to live our maximum potential in the day that follows? As you have shared it’s the baby step taken, honouring each one, that builds a foundation which then naturally unfolds to a normal and very supportive way of being… or sleeping ; )
This is a much more encompassing way of exploring what leads to restorative sleep, as it considers all the aspects of how we live and the quality we are in when we go to bed.
Yes and we see it this way, then there is no need for pills to assist with a good nights sleep, just adjustments to our every day living.
And may I also add Rosie, that I also find sugar interrupts my sleep, which has now become any-thing that has any sweetness to it. I will keep on waking-up to go and urinate to eliminate the sugars from my system. I gave up white sugar almost 40 years ago and have slowly over many years felt what any form of sugar does to my body and eliminated them from my diet.
Interesting Greg, there I was thinking that I just had to wake up to pee at night because I had too much water but perhaps it is linked to too much sugar…. I don’t have any processed sugars but natural sugars are still a part of what I eat so I may have to observe this more.
This is great Rosie, and may I add that I have found that when we are tired we get behind the eight-ball as it were, and catching up never seems to work. So no matter what you do and no matter how much sleep you get there is always a lethargic tired feeling when you wake. When we apply the rhythm that you have shared after a few early night the vitality has returned to my day.
How you go to bed is actually the start of your next day- did you realise that?
It is great that there is a blog that talks about the time BEFORE going to bed. It is the most important thing. Actually the whole day gets represented in a night’s sleep. The more I am with me during the day and at the end before I go to bed, I can really prepare myself for the next day, the more settled and rehabilitating sleep is.
It calls us to being responsible, as how we feel does not depend on how many hours we sleep but the quality of how many hours that are possible..
Such a simple thing… Sleep, on the surface, that is for so many people a time of tribulation. When we realise that everything is connected, they start to join up, and what has seemed to be an insurmountable process does becomes quite simple
I think we can say in general that sleep is the most underrated part of our day, or the part we give least importance to – perhaps because we have not truly explored what’s on offer when we sleep and how best to maximise this process, yet our sleep affects every part of our day, the same as our day affects every part of our sleep. I love your investigations and discoveries here.
I agree Meg, I think sleep is totally not appreciated for what it is and it is something that supports us so much.
I recognise in myself that I can have many hours sleep at night and still wake up exhausted, so as you share, Rosie there is much more going on than we are initially recognising about sleep and vitality. To consider how we live, move, act and speak during our day as ways we can either drain ourselves or re-vitalise ourselves is a consciousness breaker.
I like the tips you shared, especially about being connected too and surrendering your body. Thanks Rosie
There have been so many times when I have slept for well over 8 hours, yet I awoke feeling like I just went to sleep and felt super tired. So what Rosie is saying about the way we prepare for sleep is so true, but also I have noticed how much the way I lived out the whole day effects my sleep in many ways. If I held back saying something I had felt to say, was disconnected to my body while working, or spent a lot of time in my head daydreaming or processing things, these all have had a big impact on the quality of my sleep and overall vitality.
Yes I agree Michael, it all affects our sleep and if we are caught thinking otherwise we miss out on what good quality sleep can feel like and how it in return supports us more within our day and so you see the important cycle of it all.
‘When I do go to bed, I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed’ – I LOVE this. Those moments where we let ourselves lie and close our eyes, when we do this in the presence and preciousness you describe Rosie, we hold ourselves in that preciousness when we sleep. And in that holding, we are held by God Himself.
This statement also grabbed me Katerina, and takes our level of commitment to a deeper level if we so choose and I willingly do. So thank you Rosie much has been delivered in this blog.
And how lovely is it to wake up well before the alarm goes off and have the time to just be still, to feel the sheets, to look out at the stars from the window and not rush. In our busy work days, it is so important to have the stop moments to just be still.
I love coming back to this blog, it confirms for me all my body shows me when I wake up in the morning feeling tired just the same as when I got into bed, that how I have been during the day impacts on how restful and revitalizing my sleep will be. I find when I eat foods with salt or sugar in it, I wake up during the night so thirsty.
I really don’t like that feeling of waking up and I am dying for water. It always shows me the earlier choices I have made. As much as I love Thai food, whenever I do eat it, I wake up so thirsty.
I also find I sleep less well and wake up less rested if I eat too much or eat heavy food before going to bed. Really how we sleep is a reflection of everything that happens during the day and even what we allow to happen in our sleep so it is a 24/7 thing.
I find that too, the amount I eat has a direct relationship to how I wake up feeling in the morning. It’s funny how we like to separate sleep and the day into two separate things but our sleep, it’s quality, how we feel when we go to sleep, how we feel when we wake up and our dreams all reflect our day and everything we’ve experienced and how we’ve handled it.
And may I add Nicola, that starting out gently with-our-self so we have a powerful platform that will support our rhythm of having a good night’s sleep is important.
We have so many ideas about sleep and how much we need and I am finding it is very different to what I always thought. If I sleep too much or too long that makes me really tired whereas often I have heaps more energy if I get up early. Also as you say what really recharges and nurtures me is the quality of energy and how I express myself during the day – that makes a far bigger difference than how long I sleep.
What I realise is, I am much more focussed when I get up early. Even if it hurts in the first moment sometimes, it really empowers me for the whole day.
Interesting point that what really recharges and nurtures us is the quality of our being and our expression during our day. A great point to experiment with: how fully are we being ourselves in the day, and how does this affect our levels of vitality and energy?
Sleep offers us much more than we realise, and if we are willing to honour the depth of this process, it helps us to be more honouring of the time leading up to our sleep cycle.
I agree, sleep is so seriously under valued and under estimated.
” So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep. ”
This is very important , for sleep is just a continuation of ones day. We are not like a machine, in that we do not turn off when we go to sleep and we do not tun on when we wake up . It is one ongoing livingness
Yes, it is quite staggering to think that we bring a deep level of “care to others and our children but forget to also give that same care and dedication to ourselves.” It doesn’t make sense, but that sadly appears to be a normal in our world. But how can you truly care for another if you don’t care for yourself first? The answer is quite simple – you can’t – but by bringing a deep level of care to yourself that same caring way automatically flows on to others; now that makes absolute sense.
We can learn a lot about our sleep rhythms and routines by looking at our movements during the day. Every movement then follows another so if we have had a day of stress and or anxiety we may find it hard to go to sleep or feel utterly exhausted and fall into bed. Being able to wind down before bed allows us to rest our bodies and prepare them for a restorative sleep which will then allow us to have a vital day and also a restful sleep. Every movement offers us much in terms of learning how we live and how each movement can have an affect on our lives thereafter.
Thank you Rosie, so clear and open sharing that it brings me more at rest with how I go about my sleep. To understand that everything that we have unresolved take with us in our nights – makes absolute sense. Hence why we always wake up, most of the time, in the state we went to bed!
Gorgeous to explore more of how we can adjust our bedtime rhythm (and how we live during the day) that will positively effect our sleeping rhythm. I am going to definitely give that a go!
Yes, and we don’t just do it once and that is it… we have to keep expressing, taking it always to another level and be open with one another, even when it is a tricky topic or area that we have been avoiding.
Going to bed early before 9pm consistently has been a huge success for me to get quality sleep i.e. I surrender into my body and let go of the day and just be – I have no extra mind driven activities. Watching no tv in the evening has supported me also to not be stimulated and emotionally coerced. In fact I have watched no tv or movies in the past 3 years.
I have never been one to watch TV as I was a lucky child who grew up without one. I have actually never had one in my home until right now where I am staying and I find that when it goes on, I just want to leave the room so that I don’t get sucked up into the story and swept away into another reality. I much prefer to just stay in the reality I am in. There are times that I do watch a movie with my daughter, but I enjoy being with her much more than whatever is on the screen and in fact I never remember the movie as it doesn’t do anything for me. I do notice how people do watch a lot of screen before bed and it doesn’t actually support them at all, but when they are addicted to that way of living, they can’t actually see it like I do as they are stuck in it.
There are times in the morning where I think I need more sleep but that is not really true because once I get up and move I have heaps of energy and not tired at all. Its like my mind is playing tricks on me, telling me to stay in bed longer which usually just makes me feel achy and even more tired.
I have noticed recently a couple of times before going to sleep, setting my alarm and worrying that I wasnt getting much time to sleep before needing to wake up. But really, when I stopped and looked at this it wasnt that the number of hours bothered me, but actually the feeling of knowing my body needed to be in bed earlier and I had overridden that feeling, pushing through and going to bed late.
That is great Rebecca, knowing the difference… like you said, is it because I won’t get enough sleep or is that feeling because I didn’t honour and do what I knew I needed to do and that was go to bed earlier.
Yes I agree, self love should be part of our medicine as it heals us more than we can imagine. Sleep is also part of the medicine and the more we are connected with our bodies, the more we know what is needed at any given moment. Not by a rule, but an absolute knowing from within.
“How Much Sleep Do We Need?” – sleep for me in the past was an avid 8 hour sleep.. I had to get that amount every night and would feel deprived if that was not the case. Though living by a rule is obtrusive and restrictive; living instead by the body through self-relating and what you’re putting it through on a daily basis, offers the exact amount of sleep you might need.. could be 5 hours one night, 8 hours the next. There is no ruled prescription when it comes to what your body needs, only the prescription of self-love.
Last night I did something I haven’t done for ages… I became obsessive compulsive looking at this item I needed to find then and there, at this particular price. I was like a dog with a bone, and the fact that my body was feeling lovely and tired – not exhausted or drained, but ever so ready for a nourishing night’s sleep, was completely ignored. Needless to say, that night’s sleep was not a great one. It was a reminder of how it is these little things that are in fact huge in the difference that they make.
In the honouring of our bodies, we open the door to a life filled with simplicity, where there’s no need to scavenge desperately for any item…. What we need comes to us ever so simply because we are already in the flow that allows this. So I let go of trying to find this item online, and gave all my attention to my body instead. And life became so simple again ☺
Like a dog with a bone! I love the analogy as it is so true, we can get so fixated that we completely disconnect from ourselves and what we can feel… and in that, crazy things can happen as we are no longer in the driving seat of our own actions really.
What fabulous, simple ad practical steps to what is needed for a rejuvenating and nourishing night’s sleep. None of it rocket science, all of it complete common sense — which then begs the question… why do we not tend to do this?
Like you say, its not rocket science and it is super simple but why oh why are there so many people addicted to sleeping pills?
It is again one of those things like walking, eating, listening, speaking, that we can just take for granted and yet sleep as with everything is a pivotal and vital part of our life that can either evolve us or, if ignored, wind us right down.
I feel it is also super important to appreciate our day, even if we haven’t done all the doing thing that we wanted done but appreciate ourselves just for being who we are. It is so easy to look at the what is not rather than appreciate the what is….
I find if I don’t have purpose during the day then the quality of my sleep is less good.
Thats an interesting observation Fiona. It reminds me of years ago when I would have no purpose to my days and waste them and that is when I did struggle more to sleep. Wasted days, wasted nights.
It feels very refreshing to have a shower before bed, it feels like it helps me let go of the day and to start winding down in preparation to sleep.
I really don’t like it when I don’t have the time or enough hot water left to have my shower at night… it actually is such a normal part of my rhythm that I get quite thrown when I miss it.
I also feel that how much sleep I need and the quality of my sleep is effected by my monthly cycle, usually leading up to my period I feel I need less sleep but during and after I definitely need that bit extra which feels super nourishing when I allow myself that time.
It makes sense as our bodies are doing different things and different times during our cycle.
“I make time to wind down, to be with myself and relax. This helps because then I don’t end up in bed wired, feeling like I will never fall asleep.” I can completely understand. I feel its very important for me to wind down otherwise my body is very unsettled throughout the night and I take it into my next day and then next.
Often I find if I sleep too much I will end up with a slight pain in my lower back, feel groggy and sometimes feel dehydrated. It just doesn’t do to oversleep and to be a slave to the eight-hour rule.
I get what you are saying… my body aches if I stay in bed too long.
I noticed when my children were young, they found it difficult to fall asleep if they missed out on winding down time. It used to leave us all feeling frustrated but what you shared Rosie makes so much sense. Our quality of sleep is important and allowing ourselves time to wind down before bedtime is too.
Enough wind down time is super important for the whole family. Everyone benefits with this.
For me, the best way to sleep well is to go to bed 1 billion percent committed, this means I sleep in that same quality, with that same dedication and wake up ready to go.
Me too! If my day is a mess, my sleep usually is too!
Enough is enough, you are right, our body is always communicating if only we listen!
Sleeping in – has always been a reward of some kind. And recognising that my body actually prefers to be up early rather than laying in bed for an extra half hour – however much my mind convinces me that its too cold, I need more,I’m tired etc – my body will always start to ache somewhere to get me to move. Its like the signal is enough is enough.
Sleep is sacred – we can’t live without it – and our souls love it too. It makes sense then that we would need to approach it with a deep reverence. The suggestions you have outlined here Rosie are very beautiful indeed.
We really can’t live without sleep. It is a medicine that is often not appreciated enough.
I agree totally Rosie with your sharing. “It doesn’t matter how much sleep we get but what quality sleep it is” I know I tend to have a more restful sleep if I take the time to wind down before bed and read one paragraph of one of Serge Benhayon’s Purple books.
Yeah for me it’s not about an ideal or rule as such but about feeling what is needed at any given time. The other night I stayed up till past 11 as there were things that just had to be dealt with and I love that we could express it all and then go to bed feeling like it was complete.
I am late to bed for me tonight -10.30 because of working late, yet my work all though challenging was super interesting, i believe when we genuinely love work, and generally love life we are going to bed in a better quality therefore needing less sleep. When days are heavy and we have been reactive and emotional it makes sense our bodies want more time to repair.
Yes, reactions and emotions are exhausting!
This is so true Samantha. When we find life a struggle, and we are challenged to the point of reaction, the natural rhythm and flow of the body is disturbed and therefore requires more support to rebalance itself. Sleep is such a wonderful natural way to do this, but the quality of the sleep we have makes an enormous difference to how quickly we can regain our equilibrium.
A great observation on the quality of sleep. I suppose we can never give a set amount of time that is right for someone, but the quality certainly has a big part to play. Even when I observe my young daughter – if she sleeps deeply, then in the day she is much more gentle – but if she does not sleep well it throws out her whole rhythm. She is very sensitive to the quality of sleep she is in.
I think we all are just as sensitive as your daughter, only difference is we have learnt ways and behaviours to mask what we feel.
I have no doubt that our quality of sleep is not only determined by the quality that we put ourselves to bed in, but the quality we have been living during our day.
True, it is not about what you do, it is about how you be.
I know that how I am in my day heavily impacts how I sleep at night and wake up the next morning. Interestingly, it is not about how much I “do”. For instance I can work an entire nightshift with a 2 hour snooze either side and be feeling absolutely great the following day. Alternatively, I can have a day where I don’t do much and have 10 hours sleep yet wake up feeling exhausted!
It’s great that you express how sensitive you are, because we all are even if we are not aware of it.
The more connected I am with myself during the day the less sleep I require, as I am not draining myself.
That makes sense, because it is in our disconnection from ourselves that we get caught up in distractions, complications and being busy which are all so exhausting.
Putting our selves to sleep with gentleness resolved from the day allows the body to clear and regenerate ready for the next day and what is there to be done.
This is a huge realization to know how much we are in control of the quality of sleep we have on a daily basis, we either meet life from our bodies first and deal with things accordingly as they come up or we meet life from our heads, creating unnecessary issues and complications that have a detrimental effect on our sleep and wellbeing.
I agree, it is the unresolved issues, the un expressed things that bother us which disturbs our sleep and our waking hours and if we dwell on it, or think about it too much it drains us even more and we are left feeling exhausted, not for lack of sleep but because of too much emotional and mental energy invested in something that doesn’t really need to be there but something that we have created to be a monster in our own mind.
I have an unresolved issue at the moment, and it is interesting to note how much it interferes with my day and night, and my sleep and how exhausting it can be when things are not resolved. The exhaustion not only comes from the lack of sleep but how much energy we give the situation when awake too.
Quite often, we initiate one change…. and that then leads to more awareness and then another change can take place. This is the beautiful way things unfold when we allow ourselves to be open to what is next. No point in trying to do too much at once or going into overwhelm, just one choice and then another.
I have found that even a 5 minute shut eye session can change my whole day. Its not really about the time, but just the fact that we make the time and stop.
It’s very revealing what you’ve shared about putting ourselves to sleep like we would a child, or anyone we care about. The person who treats us the most unfairly is actually ourselves, because often we only look after ourselves ‘just enough’ to function, without the care you’ve talked about Rosie.
Function is like the bare minimum… but imagine how you would blossom if cared for like a gardener cares for its favorite flowers.
Quality, quality, quality – night or day, awake or asleep, it doesn’t matter which one it is, but it all needs quality. This is what I am working on at the moment. What quality am I living and expressing in.
I have also come to learn it is the quality not quantity of sleep that counts and the importance of gently winding down and preparing for bed lovingly and to really treasure this with my early to bed early to rise routine.
The winding down and the not eating sweet or stimulating foods is important for me… otherwise I toss and turn for a while.
What if how much sleep we need actually varies according to what is happening in our lives and how are bodies are feeling? At the moment I am sleeping 9 to 10 hours but that’s because massive changes are happening in my life and I’m adjusting. A few months ago I only slept for 6 hours. I don’t think there can be a pre-set or recommended number of hours when it comes to sleep, we just need to tune in to our bodies to know what is right for us on that day.
Yes it changes depending on what we need and what is going on in our lives so there is no set rules. I too have been sleeping a little longer lately as I was feeling exhausted.
The amount of sleep has often been the marker of how I have been with myself throughout the day. The average can change when I am sick or just need a reboot if something major has come up to address. Being willing to take each day and what is needed to sleep and replenish the body without being put on the constant roller coaster of the alarm clock, has been a great way to work through tiredness and rates of exhaustion.
What I love experiencing of late, is having the most full long days but they are so lived with purpose and I feel amazing that I go to bed and wake up super early and I wonder oh my, am I going to be tired today, all based on those thoughts of will I cope with not enough sleep and to my surprise, I am lively as and have another great day.
The part about communicating and laying out flat everything that I’ve felt in the day so that I don’t go to bed with it feels super important for me at the moment. Because it’s not just that one day when the event occurred that it affects, if left unexpressed it remains with us for days, weeks, even years having the same feeling remaining and affecting how we sleep.
Good point Leigh because if we don’t attend to the little issues, they all add up to a mountain of them and that is when overwhelm kicks in!
I used to sometimes snack or have a drink before going to bed and then realised that these things affected how soon I go to sleep and the quality of my sleep. It is our commitment to honouring these things once we become aware of them that all contribute to a really good night’s sleep however long it is.
When we break these old patterns of behaviour, like snacking before bed, you realise that you never ever needed that extra food, but it was just a habit that you had gotten into without being aware.
Sleep is soooo important, as it really affects my day if I’ve not slept well. So I really appreciate the baby steps you speak of and the loving care of ‘ I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed.’ This introduces a loving acceptance of all my choices, wise and unwise during the day and the commitment to return to love ready for the next day knowing I am from love.
Yes wise or unwise, there is no gain in beating ourselves up with negative talk!
Going to bed early is something that can be scrutinised by those who like to stay up late and rise late, I know for me that people I know, friends, work colleagues, family have laughed or scoffed at the time I choose to go to bed, but I have stood firm and allowed them to see the benefits of my choices for themselves.
I have friends that used to make fun of me, but now go to bed just as early as me and love the benefits so if we do stay and hold the reflection for others, they can get it if they want to but if we join them, then no one gets to see another way.
The willingness to stand firm in the choices that you know speak volumes from the body on the levels of vitality and commitment to life speaks much louder than any words of scrutiny.
“But I have noticed that it’s not really about how long I sleep, but the quality of sleep that I am getting.” It seems so simple that we should not focus so much on how long but on the quality of our sleep. There are so many people with sleeping disorders and problems but it seems almost no one is really going to the simplicity of asking the question ‘how is the quality of your sleep’ and ‘how can we improve it’. Being aware in the day in how we live that we need to go to bed again too is a great way to improve quality of sleep.
Sleep is an area of many people’s lives that causes them great anguish. Sleep disorders are common and debilitating. What you offer is that rather than focus on the moment you go to bed to sleep, look at a bigger picture of the day, and potentially there are changes that can be made that allow a deep and restful sleep.
Yes sometimes when we have tunnel vision, we miss the bigger picture. Sleep is an issue for so many and there is so much on offer, if we look outside of just the actual sleep part.
We don’t often consider sleep as medicine, a vital aspect of our lives that supports our well-being and vitality. In the past, I at times used to see sleep as chance to escape from life, a retreat from the exhaustion from the busyness and an excuse to not have to do anything. But now I have come to realise and experience just how much our lives are affected by the quality of our sleep. We ask a lot of our bodies through our every day and we ourselves, our being, experience and are presented with many situations that we respond or react to. And so it is very honouring to appreciate this and the end of a day, to address and let go of any tension we are carrying and to reflect and confirm who we actually are, allowing us to truly prepare our bodies to rejuvenate and restore in order to be ready for the following that is coming.
Reacting or responding to any situation is a choice we all have but it is so much easier to respond when our body is not sleep deprived and tired.
This is a great question, I have a belief that if I go to bed later than normal I need to set my alarm later so I can sleep more, however experience has shown me that if I remain 100% committed up to the time I go to bed, I can wake up total energised early. Which just proves that it’s not the time we god to bed or the amount of time we sleep but our commitment and quality in the day that determines our sleep.
If we take unresolved issues to bed, they sure play on our mind and effect our sleep. But wakes up often exhausted as the mind has been over working. It is so important I found to make sure that manage and resolves as many issues before bed, so the body can truly rest during the sleep time.
Yes I agree completely, sleeping on it as saying goes, often causes quite a bit of stress to the body, rather than finalising it before sleep and going to bed knowing it is all complete and there is nothing more to worry about or consider.
After discovering that we can get a quality of sleep that supports us throughout the day, the bad days really stand out. And with myself I notice how grumpy I feel if my sleep is not of a certain quality.
I sometimes forget how precious I am and putting myself to bed like a baby reconnects me to this knowing.
We have learnt to be quite rough and tough on ourselves and forgotten … I still forget to this day, or try to push myself just a little bit more, a little bit more work, a little bit later… and then I get the consequences of that choice……. and when I care, and when I remember how precious I am….ahhhhh the after effects are beautiful!
Some people are shocked when I tell them how much sleep I get and what time I wake up, I know without doubt if I get up early, go to bed early and live well during the day I can quite easily have much less sleep then considered ‘normal’.
How much sleep we need is very personal to each and everyone of us, living a full life during the day, observing and not absorbing allows for a real good quality of sleep.
It is very personal, and for me it changes so there is no set rule anymore. Sometimes I need more and sometimes I need less and I know fully well that it has a lot to do with what I have or have not reacted to or taken on during my day. Our reactions, or mine at least are exhausting to the body!
Yes I can absolutely relate to this Rosie. I normally wake up tired, it has to be said. But there are days when I wake up and feel like I’ve been hit by a bus and the day hasn’t even begun. When this happens, I consider my previous day, how I was with people, did I get annoyed, did I eat my weight in food to avoid dealing with something, was I sad, angry, emotional about anything. Often, there are some tell tale signs that help me to understand why perhaps I had woken up all heavy and unmotivated. It’s a great one to develop awareness around and learn better ways of dealing with the events of the day that help in completing them rather than dragging them through our sleep and into the next day.
Hi Elodie, if you are waking up tired, it could be great to experiment to find out why.. food, thoughts, busyness, over stimulation. I love using my body as a science project and seeing what works and what does not.
I also love not turning on the alarm at times and just letting my body rest if I can, and let some things wait till later because if I push on through, my tiredness will affect everything I do.
I have been aware for many years that it is the quality rather than the quantity of sleep that is vital but it is only since attending Universal Medicine presentations that I have come to understand how crucial the preparation is for the quality of rest that I get from my sleep. It is a constant process of refinement adjusting what is needed to ensure that I go to sleep in the way that best supports me to be fully rested ready for the next day.
This is simple common sense yet it seems like the greatest revelation for many of us. It shows a lot about society when such simple truth is seen in such a way inspite of the apparent advances our society is making
Seeing sleep as an inconvenience seems a bit shocking when you consider how important it is. I bet your body feels and operates so differently now that you make it important and take care that you get enough of it and that the quality is right.
Hi Richard, I can relate to the fear of going to bed, and for me, to avoid this I thought that the only way I would be able to get to sleep was to get stoned first, so I smoked every night. At the time, for many years, this was my normal and the thought of giving up smoking freaked me out as I wondered how on earth I would ever fall asleep. I went through a period which was hard, re training my body and it was worth it because now I sleep so well, every night, just based on the principles shared in this blog.
Every day the amount of sleep I need changes according to the activity of the day and how I am with it, so I find that there can be no rules with sleep because each day is different, which makes life a wonderful science that continues to bring wonderment and awe.
Yes, there is no hard rule as it changes daily as we change, depending on what is going on around us. I like to see myself as a science project and take note of how this body of mine changes according to the conditions around. We are fascinating beings!
If we see sleep as a way to have a few hours off from the intensity of our lives then we are never going to have a great quality sleep. A lot of healing can and does occur in our sleep so it deserves to be paid attention to and to be prepared for.
I actually don’t think many of us, or should I say a lot of our world population has not really realised how important sleep is. We are not appreciating the importance of it or the healing that comes with it.
Rosie I agree I don’t think many people actually realise the importances of sleep. They know they need to go to sleep as the body is tired, but they just feel once the lay down thats fine, it does not matter how they have been living or what they have been eating, drinking. Everyone is caught up in the illusion that we can eat, play and party hard and then when you sleep the body will heal automatically, which definetly not the case.
Our sleep is just a part of the 24 hours cycle and needs as much attention and preparation as when we stand up and prepare ourselves for the beginning of the day. Preparing for our nights is equally important and all this makes the quality in which we live 24 hours.
I am finding that at times life can be so busy and have so much going on that there is a definite choice that needs to be make to put things to the side for tomorrow and make the time to wind down and go to bed. It’s about putting our own love and well being first and not before anything else in the day.
What I find that helps me Joshua is not making work, parenting, myself or anything more important than another and with that, making sure there is a balance and time for everything and not just one area of my life. And sleep is equally important for without it, I am not much good for any of the other areas.
The fact that we can’t go for too long without sleep without it affecting our cognitive systems tells us how important sleep is. So it makes sense to look at getting the most we can from our sleep by taking care of ourselves as part of our bedtime routine.
People do literally go mad without enough sleep and I think it affects our health and the choices we make a lot more than people are ready to explore or be aware of.
As you have shared Rosie it’s so vital that we develop a relationship with ourselves and what we truly need. Our body may need more sleep, or more time to wind down or perhaps a shower. This self relationship is important to how energetic we are but is rarely seen as important.
I was thinking of how we are all different so my routine will be different to yours. I was also thinking the other day, as I had my shower…… how it is no longer a shower just to get clean, its not just functional, but part of my self care, part of me taking time for me as I love the hot water on my shoulders, and I love the feeling of washing the day away and hopping into a warm bed (I have the electric blanket on now that it is winter) and I love this extra bit of warmth and care.
It’s quite a revelation to discover how the way we live affects our sleep. It can be what we eat or drink, for example, I found that when I ate beef, even at lunch time, I couldn’t sleep. And on long haul flights, I had difficulty sleeping until the last flight when I didn’t watch any movies at all – I still didn’t sleep, but I rested well.
This article is an amazing point of inspiration and learning. How much am I am prepared to do to ensure the quality of my sleep? How much responsibility and awareness am I willing to bring to my days that then inform the quality of my sleep? I love the point when I accept the ongoing cycles in our lives and therefore the willingness to explore and embrace responsibility.
This is a fantastic question: “How much am I am prepared to do to ensure the quality of my sleep?” It just shows that ultimately the quality of our sleep is down to us and our choices and our commitment.
How often do we blame others for our bad sleep, the noisy neighbours, the extra work I had to do etc etc yet all of this is actually up to us, to react to the noisy neighbours or to allow work to be more important than restful sleep. Again, just another choice really.
I had a conversation with someone recently about the old, the body needing 8 hours sleep every night belief, and I was asked how can I survive on less hours than that, to which I replied, because I don’t eat sugary foods or watch tv and slowly start to wind down before sleep, my body can do what it needs to do in less time because I have prepared it for sleep time and not put pressure on it by rushing all day and then expecting that I can go to sleep when I jump into bed.
During the day, we run ourselves on nervous tension and drive and then plonk ourselves into bed hoping for a restful sleep. What you share Rosie, is a change in our current thinking about getting a good night’s sleep. It’s a revelation to know that the quality we live during the day, how we communicate to others, how we are with ourselves and then how we wind down before going to bed makes all the difference between a rejuvenating sleep or a restless one.
I grew up on this belief that 8 hours of sleep is needed and I still hear this discussed on TV and people today.
I love the practicality you have shared in how to get quality sleep but there’s one that I wouldn’t have even considered ‘I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed.’ Who would have thought such a simple thing could assist in quality sleep.
I am with you Rosie, the quality of my sleep and putting myself to sleep gently seems to play such an important part in waking refreshed rather than getting 8 hours sleep. Combined with not being too stimulated by TV and sugary foods all plays a part in the quality of the sleep I can have.
Thank you Rosie for sharing that it is not the amount of sleep we have but the quality of sleep which depends on how we have lived our day and how we put ourselves to bed. I remember thinking that if I did not have eight hours sleep a night I would feel tired, I soon realised that my thinking was setting me up to feel tired and this was reinforced throughout my day. These days I find if I lovingly wind down before bed and put myself to bed in the early hours of the evening, whatever time I wake up in the morning I can feel refreshed and ready for the day.
A beautiful reminder Rosie, thank you;
“So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep”.
These are great points that you share here Rosie – each no ‘small thing’ at all… How much of our population actually and commonly feels tired, if not fatigued and exhausted? The quality of our sleep is something I’ve also found paramount, and dependent upon everything that occurs in my life and my day as a whole.
And yet the simplest of choices can begin to make a difference for us – such as winding down gently and reflectively from the day prior to sleeping, and not engaging in anything too stimulating at this time. Our bodies, and sense of well-being within ourselves, most definitely thank us for it, especially as we establish such routines over time.
The question then becomes, do we deem ourselves worth it? (most definitely ‘yes’ in my books!)
In answer to your question, how much of our population actually and commonly feels tired, if not fatigued and exhausted? It is easier to ask who doesn’t? Not many I imagine. Tonight after work, at the supermarket I was asked the common, how are you question from the check out man and I replied, tired, very tired ….and I asked how he was and he said, he always feels tired…. it made me stop and appreciate that I don’t feel tired all the time any more.
There is no greater joy than preparing myself for sleep and being as present with myself when I do go to sleep these days. For I now know that I am much better prepared for the day ahead to respond rather than react.
The quality of sleep we get each night is crucial to the quality of energy that we live in our day. The body does so much repair, restoration and nurturing when we are asleep but it can only do it if the systems that might interfere with this process are at ease. It seems that most of us are willing to spend time preparing for the day and not so keen to prepare for our night time and sleeping. When we do this the quality of our whole life goes up and often the amount of hours we need between the sheets goes down and we feel more like ourselves.
A lovely & great reminder Rosie! Would we put ourselves to sleep with any less care than we would a child? If no, then why not? Do we not ALL deserve this level of care throughout the day and particularly when preparing ourselves for our longest and deepest period of repose?
I did an Esoteric yoga class yesterday and loved bring the care to all of my movements, and it confirmed to me the care that I bring when I go to sleep but then I had to stop and consider that all that was great, but I do need to bring more care to how I am with my body during the day, because often when I get busy, I forget that my body even exists.
The amount of sleeping pills we would save would be massive and the number of energy drinks we would need would be nil if we took on less in the day. To think the greatest issues are those we take on emotionally yet here we are so often trying to patch up the ill effects from living with those emotions instead of healing them in the first place.
Oh yes Joshua, the emotional roller coaster ride causes havoc in our bodies and our sleep patterns!
I wrote a quote the other day: “Left to itself, the mind can be reckless and cause a lot of havoc and should come with warning signs. Do not let loose, only use in combination with body at all times! ” and now I will add to it…
When we are connected to our bodies, there is less chance to be carried away by our emotions.
There are so many things that effect our sleep, I reckon you nail it when you say that it’s the way we live our day that governs both the quality of our sleep and the amount we need and also how we feel when we wake up. If we only focus on winding down before bed then that helps but it’s not enough to undo all the reactions and choices we’ve made in the day. The most content sleep I have is when I live the day to it’s fullest, I take everything it has to offer and love people, express to people but never take on their choices, love myself, take deep care of my body and make sure my choices are actually moving me in the direction of what is possible – then my sleep feels like it is developing the day, rather than dealing with all my undealt with stuff from the day.
Rosie, it is really helpful to read about how you put yourself to sleep and the wind down time that you have, I have noticed that if I have a stimulating conversation before bed or if I go to bed a later than normal or check my emails just before going to bed, that I find it hard to go to sleep and harder to wake up in the morning and when I do wake up I feel groggy and not bright and ready for the day, how I go to sleep is key for me to have a good nights sleep.
Sleep is part of our 24 cycle of the day and how we are during being awake affects our sleep and how we are during our sleep affects us when we wake. So the quality of one affects the other.
The quality of my day builds into the quality before I sleep and the quality of my sleep and then the quality I wake up to. There is no perfection but this is amazing to be aware of.
Yes – setting aside perfection – this is an amazing and inspiring point of understanding that inspires me to explore cycles and responsibility.
Just looking at the photo that goes with this article, it reminded me of what experts dog’s are at resting. If you observe their bodies, they are completely floppy and at ease when they are asleep. I think we could learn a lot from them about how to sleep and live so we get a great sleep!
Yes this is so true Fiona…. Dogs just let go, trust and surrender… and even when they have been naughty and told off, they don’t hold onto it, they don’t walk around with a chip on their shoulder and they still wag their tail.
I love having a dog in our home. I learn a lot from her. She often reminds me to just be love in every moment and not get caught up in things. She does this with a simple wag of her tail and the look in her eyes and it just melts me.
I feel you have touched on something very important about quality of sleep and completion of the day. It is common sense that if we take unresolved stuff to bed with us, it will affect the quality of our sleep. It’s like the mind and physiology are left on when they should be in stand by mode. But even though this is common sense, I would say most of us don’t deal with things before we go to sleep and instead try to forget with a good TV show, favourite snacks or a few drinks. Then our physiology has even more to deal with on top of the unresolved issues! I try to take a few minutes when I get in bed to settle my body completely, get a sense of anything unresolved and complete it for myself or make a commitment to sort it out the next day, so I don’t feel the need to carry into my sleep. This has a huge effect on how I sleep and feel when I wake up.
I don’t think many of us realise how much the last TV program affects us when we go to bed. I think this should be considered a lot more. What you watched, how it raced your body or left you feeling heavy. It all affects us even if at times we are not aware at all. And on top of that, what I have found, is if I do watch a movie, I am more likely to eat foods that don’t support me let alone, set the scene for a good restful sleep.
Yes, and each day, taking care can be quite different, depending on what your body needs.
Tonight I took a bath as I realised that I have wanted to do that for a few nights but have given priority of my time to other things. Tonight I made it about me and I feel all loved up by my choices and all I did was have a bath!
A lot of people are numb to what a good night’s sleep actually feels like compared to a bad night’s sleep, and thus don’t allow themselves the grace of seeing what the reflection of sleep offers and what it tells us about our day, as well as what our body sings to or can’t handle e.g. certain foods, arguments, conversation topics, exercises, reactions. This is why it’s important to pay attention to our sleep, and experiment with how different activities affect our sleep as we can understand our bodies much deeper when we do this.
We also have to bust the knowledge, ideals and beliefs that we should get up at a particular time everyday – sometimes our body needs more sleep.
And how good does it feel when we honour what our body needs rather than what our mind is trying to tell us!
I have really noticed that the quality I take myself to bed with, affects the quality of my sleep, and how much more supportive my sleep is when I honour myself and my body by going to bed early.
In this day and age where there is many people, and a growing number of children with sleeping disorders we do really need to take a look at the importance of our sleep and what is good or not for the quality of this time that lets our body rejuvenate. I heard on the news that because of blue lights i.e v, television fizzy drinks and later bed times there is a growing number of kids with sleeping disorders, can anyone else see a way out of this? Pretty obvious and it’s not by doing what they are doing and prescribing them sleeping pills that are unapproved for people under fifty. I know this will make me sound old but there were no kids with sleeping disorders when I was a kid and we didn’t have i-phones or i-pads and we certainly didn’t have fizzy drinks in the evening and stay up on computers playing games or watching Tv.
Sometimes the obvious is not so obvious because when you are so caught up in a behaviour you are too blind to see.
thanks Rosie… And this really does apply to everything in our lives doesn’t it… The quality of our exercise, quality of our eating, and most definitely the quality of how we sleep
A lot of people are now being diagnosed with sleep disorders. Sooner or later we are going to have to bring it back to the simplicity of what you have presented here Rosie which is to look at how we are living before we go to sleep and work backwards from there. Everything affects everything else and we cannot keep compartmentalizing things and imagining that one thing does not affect the other.
This is so true Elizabeth, sleep problems are a major issue these days and have almost become normal, and people don’t even realise that to have such difficulty is actually not normal. Also, what I have found with clients of mine is that more quite often, they don’t realise that their mood swings, or their food cravings and such are partly because of the fact that they are so tired.
We have to watch out for any ideals and beliefs or pictures that we may have as they only get in the way from us feeling what our body really needs, and some nights it may be 8pm and others it may be 9 or later and we have to be aware and open to feel and listen to what our body needs, not what our mind thinks it needs.
I have found that when I am exhausted because of feeling under pressure and reacting to it during the day no matter how much sleep I get the exhaustion doesn’t go away. Getting up earlier tackling the work that needs doing, opening up my day to create more space then allows for my body to let go of tension which allows for greater rest and a better night’s sleep.
I often want to be in control of how much sleep I want to get and when that happens the battle is on but when I just let go of it, and don’t need it to be any certain amount or way, then I rest more deeply. The same applies during the day, controlling doesn’t work and can be quite exhausting!
I never realised just how much the idea of getting enough sleep was drilled into me, to the point that it has been recently been making me more tired than less. I find I wake up early and feel awake – I feel ready to get up and its effortless but I go back to sleep every time because I still have an hour or more before my alarm and in my head, I need that extra hour of sleep otherwise i’ll be really tired. And yet without fail every time when my alarm then goes off, I feel 10 times more tired and it’s a struggle to get up. So then maybe it’s not for how long we have slept that does determine how well refreshed we feel when we wake up, it is the quality of our sleep.
It is great when we can become aware of our behaviors and rhythm because only then can we choose to change.
True Katie, when the body is not having to play catch up it does not need as much sleep… and when it awakes it is ready for the day.
The quality of our sleep is a result of the quality we live in during the day. This makes perfect sense. How we prepare for sleep is key and if the body and mind is still running at a pace it takes time to unwind.
Using sleep as an escape from life and reality also has a major effect on the quality of the rest. I’ve used sleep in this way and getting out of bed to face the day is never a pretty sight! Now, I am aware that sleep is rest of for the body, but not a ‘switch off’ moment.
That our sleep is a reflection of our lived day, is a truism, but something that needs to be written about again and again, as literally the world is increasingly ‘burnt out’.
That is so true Chris, the world is so burnt out and that is why coffee and sugar are consumed in ridiculous amount.
People are so tired, and have so many ‘band aids’ to not get them through the day, they are often not even aware of how exhausted they actually are.
I have been experimenting with the preparation phase of sleep a lot more this week. I find being on the computer just before bedtime is not helpful. Whereas just doing 10 mins of body connection before bed means my physiology is already rested. I am also taking more care with how I settle my body before I fall asleep. I have been taking more care of the placement of my limbs and my sheets and pillow so it completely supports me. This inner focus time allows me to let go of anything from the day.
I enjoy taking the time to stop and feel my body. It is quite fascinating to feel it go from being quite active to slowly slowing down. I like feeling my pulse change and my muscles relax bit by bit as I let go of the tension.
The tip to deal with anything unresolved in relationships is important for sleep quality. By leaving things still running and active, your body has to keep engaged and working on them, rather than allowing the energy to go into restoration and rejuvenation. It is also important for the relationship as coming back to your relationships loaded with unresolved issues means that you do not come as fresh or open next time you meet.
That is a good tip, thanks. Going back to a relationship without the niggling stuff means that you can approach everything differently, instead of having the same record playing and the same reactions or patterns play out again and again and again.
Thank you Rosie for this lovely reminder to not focus on overstimulating our bodies and especially our mind. I find that by 8.30 pm I am ready to lay down my head, after a short read of one of Serge Benhayons’ purple books that I love and by then I am usually wound down enough to sleep very well.
What I have noticed lately is that if I listen to my body it knows what is ahead of it, for example the last two nights I have been late to bed visiting a friend at hospital but I did not feel tired and I am sure this is because my body actually new what was ahead of it and had prepared itself by getting extra good sleep in the days before.
I can clearly see why you wouldn’t be tired Samantha because it is not about how late you stay up or how early you go to bed, but more so about what quality are you living in and what is your purpose in whatever you are doing. At times I go to bed quite late but don’t feel tired or drained and I often appreciate this knowing that what I was doing was needed and had purpose. It is totally different to staying up late, distracting yourself and pushing your body by eating the wrong foods or stimulating the mind.
What really has supported me is to ensure that I don’t get stimulated a few hours before I go to bed, and nothing is left incomplete, that does not mean my entire task list for the week has to be done, but it is complete for that day. Therefore nothing is being carried over. This has proven to be a great support in preparation for sleep, allowing a quality and depth of rested sleep.
To not get stimulated the hours before sleeping and to complete the day so that nothing incomplete is carried to bed has proven to be key elements of preparing myself for sleep. It is part of my rhythm that also serves well for the day.
I would not have related communication with a good nights sleep but reading about it in your blog, it makes perfect sense. I have direct experiences where not communicating has resulted in me not being able to sleep well. It makes great sense to express how you feel so that you don’t go to bed with unresolved issues on your mind.
The more we try to control how much we sleep, the more anxious we get about it and less chance that we will actually let go and have a restful sleep.
When it comes to sleep, if I live more by my body and what if feels, and not by a clock, I feel vital and great in my day and wake up when needed. This changes daily by what is needed and its great to go with a flow of changing rhythms than it is to have a rigid controlling way.
I have found that the amount of sleep can change quite substantially – from 4 hours to 8 hours, depending on a lot of circumstances. Some of it has to do with how I lived the previous day but the purpose for the next day seems to be just as important and whether those extra hours are needed also seems to be very important.
To realise that the quality of how I live my day is totally responsible for the way I sleep was a big wake up (!) call for me. The nights of going to bed exhausted and then wondering why I couldn’t go to sleep all made sense – finally. These days if I can’t go to sleep I check back through my day and it doesn’t take long before I can see that the way I lived my day was not of the quality that it could have been, a reminder to bring more awareness to the next day; after all we live in a 24 hour cycle, over and over again.
Thank you for sharing your insights Rosie. I have been conducting some of my own experiments lately and I know for a fact I cannot rely on a ‘long sleep’ to feel rested. The food I eat during the day has a huge impact too. I can’t expect to eat stimulating foods all day and sleep soundly. So many people focus on the ‘how much’ aspect of sleep without looking at the quality of sleep we are getting. I am realising I have been one of those people… even though I know full well there is another way. This shows me that we know the truth and the way to a truly rested body, it is up to us to choose to live in a way that supports our body while it is at rest.
It is such an insult to ourselves to know something yet choose the opposite. I know for a fact that I have been an expert at this, even playing it dumb as if I didn’t really know but truth is I knew, but I just chose otherwise.
We all think that we need a lot more sleep than we do, I know for me, I always thought I needed 8 hours of sleep, to get me through the next day. But what I can feel is that I actually feel better when I have had 6 hours, that it actually can feel over indulgent if I am laying around for longer. This really pushed all my ideals and beliefs around sleep, but I have been listening more and more to how my body feels, instead of what my head does.
Thank you Rosie, this is very beautiful to read.. And inspires me to feel more what my true rhythm is and how this plays out the way that my body needs.. I am curious and will explore. So is this a possibility for all!!
The amount of sleep I need can vary by quite a few hours a day, depending on the purpose I have that morning and what I ate last night and what kind of a day yesterday has been… There is a lot coming together.
Recently I felt the depth of tiredness in my body and slowed down somewhat but didn’t take enough quality rest or sleep and the next week I was sick. I knew then to take some rest but there were things to be done that I felt I needed to get on with. Fortunately a friend who was staying with me kept telling me to go back to bed every time I got up and I did and allowed myself nearly a whole day sleeping. I felt so much better afterwards. I am not letting myself push myself with things to be done and realise that some things may just fall out of my life and that’s ok. With this feeling of space opening up and a greater awareness there can be more quality in what I do do, a letting go of any hint of guilt and a more truly accepting and caring attitude towards my own health and that of others.
It is such a set of nasty beliefs that many of us have that make us feel guilty if we rest. I struggle with this, and it’s as if I am being naughty if I stop and lay down for 5 minutes even, yet resting and caring for our body should be our top priority, and from there everything we do will be done differently, from a body that has been cared for and is not exhausted. The way in which we do things when we are exhausted in comparison to when we are rested can be worlds apart.
So true Rosie. I have experienced all kinds of sleeps, from really agitated ones to refreshing ones. You are so right when you talk about the quality of your day and how all the choices you made in that day go with you to sleep. A really obvious one for me is the food I choose to eat can massively effect my sleep, and not only that, the whole next day. Even my face finds it difficult to cope, ending up quite puffy with my eyes feeling very very heavy. The same goes for when I go to sleep in anger or frustration. It’s so important to understand that every single choice we make has a consequence either good or bad, and so we have all the power in the world to make those choices supportive ones.
I agree that there is too much focus on the length of sleep we need and not enough acknowledgement that it is the quality that really makes the difference – you can sleep solidly for 8 hours and still wake up tired, it’s the level of surrender and true repose we allow in our bodies that allows us to wake up feeling refreshed and vital and ready for the day ahead.
‘I have committed to communicating with my family and loved ones so that if anything comes up, it can be dealt with there and then before I go to sleep, rather than brushed under the carpet to be dealt with when there is time. There is never enough time and all these issues just keep building on each other until the pile is massive and much harder to deal with’. This is so important what you highlight here Rosie, how many people go to bed with unresolved issues not having cleared/communicated anything left unsaid to family members or from colleagues during the day, so we go to bed with so much emotional baggage whirling around inside. No wonder we feel exhausted in the morning. Great tips you provide here on how to ensure quality sleep and how this improves all our interactions the next day.
“But I have noticed that it’s not really about how long I sleep, but the quality of sleep that I am getting.” So true Rosie. Winding down at the end of the day and staying connected with my inner heart makes all the difference to my sleep quality. Attending an esoteric yoga session is as refreshing as a nights sleep also I often find.
Great article Rosie that exposes that there is more for us to consider around sleep other than how much we are getting. There is a huge increase in the number of people worldwide who are experiencing difficulties with sleeping and they would do well to have access to this article.
It is extraordinary to lay down in bed early having wound my nervous system down, feeling sleepy and pleasurably tired and enjoying just lying there feeling how complete the day has been. As this becomes more my normal, it is clear how this has affected my vitality level over the days and vice-versa as Rosie mentions.
There is a way to live whereby the quality of our movement comes from a living Stillness. This Stillness is our inner anchor in the sea of ceaseless motion that we live within. When we have mastered how to stay centred, we can no longer be thrown about on waters wild but are able to stay true to who we are. This is the key to life, of learning how to be a part and observe the world around us rather than absorb it all and ‘go under’. The reason so many of us collapse into bed at night is because we have had a hard day out at sea and have taken in great lungfulls of water. Thus, re-learning how to breathe our own breath will help us move in union with Thy Father, the love that we are, rather than move in opposition to this.
Having spent so much of my life at sea, I love this comment Liane. You have such a beautiful way with words.
Just love your comment Liane, especially these beautiful words “This Stillness is our inner anchor in the sea of ceaseless motion that we live within”; they conjured up such a clear picture of the world we live in, crazily busy and throwing us around in every direction. It is no wonder if we take all this on during our day that sleep eludes us, but to able to connect to that stillness we all hold within and to make it our “anchor” during our day, when bed time comes we will more than likely find sleep no longer elusive.
Certainly sleep is a reflection of our 24/7 way of living.
How much sleep do we need, how much exercise, food, so many basics that we are out of touch with… and all we have to do is listen to and trust the innate intelligence of our bodies, and we will live in the rhythm of the Divine.
Just been reading another blog about how it is all about the quality of our sleep, and could not agree more. Was particularly interested in the comment about no perfection though. The important thing is to observe how we are doing – it might be a restless night, or overdone it the previous day. That is exactly the point, not to be judged, but noted as something to learn from, or expose a particular situation.
Two nights ago I put myself to bed with so much care and attention to detail that I astounded myself with the quality of my sleep. It was deep and restful something which I realised I could be having every evening if I chose to really take the time unwind and prepare for sleep on a daily basis.
It is great when you have those revelations and think, why on earth would I want to miss out on that? and its just a matter of taking a bit more care of yourself and the details and the flow on effect is massive!
‘So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep.’ So true Rosie, I never worry about how much, or little I sleep I get anymore. If I am committed to my day I am always full of vitality.
“So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep.” There is so much talk indeed about the hours but it makes simple sense that the quality is more defining of how rested we will be the next day than the length of our sleep. These simple tips are a great support and showing that it is about taking that time to prepare for our sleep so it will be in the quality we would like it to be. Thank you Rosie.
I used to always think that the more sleep I had the better. But see that sleep can only support us so much. We actually have to be living love in our lives for our sleep to then be of the same equal love. I used to think I could trash myself and sleep would take care of my body. Sure when I was younger I could recover quite quickly but what if I put all that effort into destroying my body during the day not being love, what then would the quality of my sleep be? and how amazing would I then wake up feeling the next day?!
This blows so many theories about sleep out of the water. I have arrogantly believed that I can drive my body however I like and restore it when I go to sleep. Not the case clearly and a great opportunity to bring more awareness to the way I live my days and nights.
I am finding that I need to constantly keep taking my wind down rhythm to support my sleep to a deeper level. It is so easy to get caught up in all the things that we have to do but it is essential to have that time before sleep to prepare the body get to sleep.
Learning to bring a rhythm to our day, supports us to bring a quality to our sleep that then supports and rejuvenates us so that we can begin the next day anew, fresh and clear for whatever it may hold. Such a simple process belies its profound power to turn around many a destructive cycle and chronic spiralling health condition.
How we feel when we wake is a marker of quality not quantity of sleep and also a marker of the quality of how we have been living in the day and days before we go to bed.
I agree, when I really look after myself, the less sleep I need. However, when I am running myself into the ground I need more sleep and am also always tired and exhausted.
This week I’ve had both late nights and early starts yet because I’ve been preparing myself properly for sleep and not pushing myself in the day Ive been amazed how much energy I have at the end of the day.
Hi Rosie, it is a great awareness as a parent to understand that the more love and care we give to ourselves the more support we offer our children by way of reflection with no impositions just by the simplicity of walking our talk.
It is beautiful that you have come to a deep understanding that you are worth deeply loving and caring for and that you have adjusted your life to honour this. We absolutely deserve no less.
Absolutely with you Rosie, the quality in which we take ourselves to bed is the quality we sleep and wake in. I have in the past gone to bed stimulated from a busy workday and felt like I run a marathon when I awoke.
The winding down at night and preparing for sleep is a key to a restful sleep, and how we live in every moment leads to the quality of the next.
Those eight hours that is talked of as being the needed time of sleep can be equally an escape if it is not truly needed by our bodies. It can also be a sign of exhaustion. If we stopped and realised and questioned our sleep more often maybe we would be more open to looking at the quality of the day and not just accept the current state of sleep for what it is.
Sleep seems like, for many, an alien realm, and yet it can be, if one chooses, a wonderful dimension of regeneration and re-connection… and yes … it is another choice!
Relating the quality of our sleep to the ‘number of unresolved issues’ from the day before Rosie is quite revolutionary… it is an element sorely missing from the usual approach to sleep difficulties. You are spot on, it is not the length of sleep that matters, but the timing and quality of that sleep. Incompletion is another element I am aware of as disturbing to sleep… which is along the same lines as you are presenting.
Rosie with so many people “exhausted” sleep is something on the top of most of our agendas, the revolutionary part here is both “I have noticed that it’s not really about how long I sleep, but the quality of sleep that I am getting.” and what this really means. For example no-one shared the importance of how “open” and how much i express in full being a contributor to my sleep before Universal Medicine. Everything is connected to it makes sense to live life like this.
We often hear conversations of “I didn’t get to sleep last night as I was thinking about work, family or something I watched on TV leaving us feeling exhausted before we even start the day. The quality of our sleep relies on our responsibility to make is about rest in the pure sense. It can become an easy trap to take this time to run through the day rather than stop and let go of the day.
What I have noticed and love is that if my day was amazing, even if it was a long day, I don’t need as much sleep. My body uses sleep to recover from the way I have lived my previous day. So really its not about how I sleep and more about how I lived. Its not about the night, but more about the day.
I’ve been struck for many years now how it is possible to almost feel hung over in the morning, despite not drinking and getting plenty of sleep. It’s got me pondering on a lot more of what happened the day before… what I was doing, what I put up with, that I am becoming more sensitive and aware, and in particular how important that all is, I am carrying it in my body.
I have the same experience Willem. If I go to bed late, I wake up feeling like I have a hangover but I don’t drink alcohol.
I don’t like the feeling and how it effects my day, so going to bed before about 9pm is what works best for me. Each night it does change slightly though as I go by how tired I feel more than what the clock says.
Yes I agree Rosie, a good nights sleep sets a solid foundation for the following day
Ah yes Willem, there are so many normals that we get used to and my normals will be different to your normals but they can all look like one thing but actually our body is exhausted, bloated, racy, aching etc etc. It is not normal to feel this, but very often we don’t even feel because we have become accustomed and don’t even realise that is what is going on.
I know for myself, that there are many times that I don’t realise how racy my body is until I stop, lie down and feel and I can get quite surprised and the rate of the pulse that is running through me. Same thing, I don’t realise how tired I am until the weekend and then I realise I am exhausted. And this is often considered normal but is so not normal!
It’s 5-8 hours long. Worth preparing for it.
This response made me laugh but it is so true. If we go on a 5-8 hour trip, flight or whatever we prepare for it… why not bring that same level of care to our sleep time. Love it. Thanks Otto!
Ah sleep, how I love it so much. I agree that sleep or lack of will reflect how you have been, the way you moved and acted over the past day/s. If there is no relationship there with that then just consider it as a possibility. It’s one thing to say that our bodies can feel how much sleep we are needing but it’s another thing altogether for that to be an ongoing relationship. This relationship is very fluid and we may say I sleep very well but what is the quality of sleep we are having for where we are at. Everyone has a different relationship with sleep, every time they sleep and one isn’t better looking then another it all comes down to quality.
Rosie – After just having a baby 5 days ago, I am really appreciating the quality of sleep rather than the amount.
It is so important for us to consider how we are in our day leading up to sleep, as this sets up the quality of our sleep. To truly listen to our body makes a big difference. Sleep is not to relieve being tired but rather to rejuvenate our bodies.
Having a baby can really change your sleep and what is more dangerous than the baby waking you up a lot, is the mind that is having a tantrum because it has a belief that it cannot function with X amount of hours sleep.
When we feel from our body, instead of being led by our mind, everything is different.
The ability to express feelings we have and share these in words has an enormous affect on the body. I have been learning and becoming more aware of this and how it definitely helps my sleep. Sleep itself is definitely something that can only be guided on, 8 hours is a suggestion but I notice I need much less when I have been eating lightly and not getting too caught in the motion of the day, i.e being able to stay present in each task I do and engaged in purposeful work. Of course there is no perfection but as you share Rosie, a good wind down with a good deal of cherishing the body is always supportive to good sleeping patterns.
How I go to bed at night makes an incredible difference to how I am in the day. So I treasure my wind down time – which doesn’t always mean I stop dong everything – I am just aware of the way I am doing things, the energy I am in, and how every movement is preparing me for my gorgeous ‘quality sleep’.
Rosie you raise a great point here, How Much Sleep Do We Need? I always thought that when I was tired I needed more sleep, I now understand that it is actually the quality of sleep that makes the difference and that quality comes first from how I live my day.
And, I would like to add that Rosie you have nailed it by saying it is not the number of hours of sleep that matters, rather it is the quality of sleep I get that makes the difference.
How we prepare for sleep is super important in either supporting us with our quality of sleep or not. But what I have also found is that my quality of sleep is also going to be affected by how my whole day has been. My night often ends up being a bit of a re-play of what my day was like. So if I had lots of stressful moments during the day, felt anxious, or rushed around trying to get things done or simply had a day where I was just not quite with myself, then often my night is more restless and I wakeup more tired or depleted. On the other hand if during my day I was more settled within myself and felt I could handle what came my way, took moments to check in my myself, as as you have shared Rosie – dealt with any situations on the spot (not leaving them to linger or ‘fester’), then my night also reflects a more settled quality of sleep. So this to me has shown that if I focus on the quality of my day and then the quality of the wind down before sleep, then my night is pretty much guaranteed. This is pretty awesome to realise and even more so awesome to put into practice. I still don’t always get it right, but then I know I always get another chance the next day!
When I need to go to work early after a late night shift I have felt that the way I look at it is of a much bigger influence than the small amount of hours I have been sleeping. My early shift feels very hard to do and my body starts to feel heavy when I go into I did not sleep enough hours, I am so tired and why do I have to do this. You know this victim mode. When I instead choose to embrace the fact I am the one to do the job and that I am very capable even after a short night, acknowledging my body does feel a bit tired then the day flows and I enjoy my day.
How you feel about it, think about it and approach it is up to you and if you make it out to be so hard, and that you are so tired then that will be your reality. We are the creators all the time and even on a few hours sleep you can create the day that you want ahead of you. I never knew this in the past and always felt like a victim to circumstance rather than the creator of my reality.
If we let our heads running the show it is never or it is always bedtime, either way is numbing ourselves from what we naturally feel from the body, complicating what is simple and common sense.
I used to eat salt with everything and never knew let alone felt that it then had an effect on many other things. I have not added salt to my food now for at least 3 years and now when I do have salt, or it comes hidden in food if I eat out, I get that same feeling like I just can’t drink enough water and like you, I have to drink so much that it really does effect my sleep.
Interesting is that I can now feel how stimulating salt is to my system, I never noticed that before.
Last night I had eaten salty foods before going to bed. I had dreams about being thirsty and trying to drink any water I could get my hands on. I woke up parched and needed to drink two glasses of water and was still thirsty. I realised that those choices then led me to feeling totally exhausted and ill-equipped to deal with the day ahead of me, my body wasn’t in the place for it.
I used to think if I was tired or exhausted it was because I had not slept enough, but I have discovered this is rarely the case. I have discovered that if I allow myself to get in a rush, I am more likely to react, be emotional and or absorb harmful energies, and these are the things that tire or exhaust me. If I get up early and take the time, space and grace I need to attend to whatever is needed and prepare myself for the day, I am able to stay in my own rhythm and have a lot more energy than sleeping longer.
The relationship that we have with the amount of sleep we need is something that can develop if we give it the time and attention. The point that you make in this, Rosie, about the quality of sleep being far more important than the number of hours we get is very true, and is something that I have experienced first hand.
Rosie I love what you share its not how long we sleep but the quality in how we prepare for sleep is important. Preparing for sleep in a loving way, like we would a baby or child is very self nurturing.
love it Rosie – so simple how we can apply basics to ourselves to ensure that our quality of sleep is supportive to us. I have found that how I am in my day has a huge impact on how well I sleep that night. It is like the night is a re-play of the day and how it was for me. So if I have handled my day beautifully and have been able to take each situation as it crops up, feel my way through the day and keep acknowledging all that I feel and communicating around me what needs to be expressed and not hiding or leaving things unspoken of, then my night is one that regenerates me and I wake ready for the next day regardless of the number of hours slept. And like you mentioned Rosie, if I just creep into bed not wanting to feel how my day has been and just crash out of exhaustion, then the wake up is more difficult and I struggle even with a long night’s sleep. Thank you for opening the conversation here – discussing these things helps us build awareness and offers us an opportunity for change in so many yet simple ways.
Putting ourselves to bed as we would a baby, this may sound like a silly thing to do some might say. But I love it, I have over time brought a level of self care to how I am before going to bed and taking myself to bed, but I can’t say that I put myself to bed as I would a baby. This is going to be a great way to test out this evening and all other evenings, to really be with myself more deeply, tenderly and lovingly put myself to bed as I would a baby.
Love it Rosie, such a simple, practical and loving blog that reveals it’s all in the quality with which we prepare for, and go to sleep in, that makes the difference of whether we are well rested or exhausted. Awesome blog!
My bedtime reading tonight Rosie, and always good to have a reminder about how to prepare your body for sleep. Treating ourselves with the delicacy we would offer a baby feels so lovely. Building consistency in that tenderness takes a little longer but I am finding it is simply a choice to value myself as you have shared.
I love the evening time, winding down after a busy day, taking time to reflect on the day,and gently putting myself to bed, when I do this for myself I find I don’t need so much sleep often waking around 3-4 am feeling refreshed and I find I have more vitality in my day.
If we truly got that how we are going to be tomorrow is shaped by how we’ve lived today and by what we’ve been doing in it, then the meaning of a good night’s sleep would shift from a focus on the number of hours slept to the quality of the way we are in the hours when we’re awake.
It’s the same as everything. It’s not what we do, it’s how we do it. I have gone to bed late because of the purpose of what I was doing. It was needed, it was completed, off to bed. Woke feeling awesome. I have gone to bed super early after a day of procrastination, delay and lack of self care and woken up after a long sleep feeling terrible. Talking about the number of hours sleep we need is totally missing the point. How I wake up has nothing to do with how much sleep I had, but everything to do with how I lived the day before.
The quality of our sleep has a direct impact on the quality of our day; the quality of our sleep is determined by the quality of our day. It is interesting to reflect on the day before if we do not sleep well; often I notice a disharmony or an anxiousness. I enjoyed rereading your blog Rosie, thank you.
Discovering the ‘secrets’ of truly energising sleep is like discovering a ‘hidden in plain sight’ reserve of energy, that we can tap into, and change the rhythm and harmonious quality of our day… And yet it is so simple.
Just reread your blog Rosie and it is a good point you make. One definitely doesn’t sleep well if one has unresolved issues from the day or if one has something on one’s mind.
This is so true Rosie, 14 years ago I seemed to never be able to get enough sleep even if I slept for 10 hours, yet nowadays I am a lot older and more active on less sleep than I have ever been. This is because I go to bed around 9pm and take better care of myself than I have ever before thanks to my being able and willing to put the presentations of Serge Benhayon to the test by practicing the basic principles of self care.
I’ve noticed a life long ideal about how much sleep I ‘should’ have – say 7 or 8 hours. But that does not explain why I can wake up with a lot less and feel fresh, or how I can have an ideal amount and feel groggy and tired. The quality is far more important in terms of my practical experience… I just have to let the ideal go now, and base it on how I feel!
Hi Rosie, I have been bringing my awareness to the transition times e.g. between home and work and then work to home, the other transition times that are important are the period of preparing for bed and getting up in the morning. The more aware I am of these moments of the day the more stillness there is in my body and consistent holding through out the day. The flip side has been how this has exposed the level of anxiety I have lived with for most of my life and felt this was normal. It isn’t normal to live in constant anxiety and the more I experienced its presence in my life the more awareness I practiced on the moments of stillness. The quality I bring to all my movements and live in now is beautiful and it feels ‘yukky’ when I get caught up in ‘busy-ness’ and leave a gap for the anxiousness to come in. The quality of my sleep is now improving and I am finding I need less hours of sleep and the vitality in my waking life has increased.
More than ever before Rosie I am getting a sense how your point no.2 ‘I have committed to communicating with my family and loved ones’ is so much bigger than we have given weight to. For if you receive words to share, impulses ‘out of fresh air’ for everyone to grow and learn, and we hold that back….well no wonder we may not sleep at ease at night. Now if something comes my way I know it’s my role to share it with the world. From this point of view, you can see how poisonous all the sleeping pills and ‘relaxation’ techniques can be if we don’t ever begin to share and speak freely.
Rosie Bason raises an interesting point about the fact that we could potentially be carrying issues with us in our bodies when they are unresolved. So this means we not only do we take them to bed with us, affecting our quality of sleep, but also that they are with us in all of our interactions with eachother, our working lives throughout the day, our family time in the evening. Rosie points out that unresolved issues between people is what we carry around with us the most and how important it is to pay attention to these, for our own health and the quality of relationships we can have. I find this beautiful and the real science of life, because saying what needs to be said when it needs to be said is a real challenge for me, so used am I to accepting and living with unresolved issues – and so used am I to how this feels in my body. However I have felt and experienced the lightness of being free from issues unresolved and this is enough to make me want to explore this way of living more and see if it can be the everyday instead of the every once and a while.
Thanks Marion, it is interesting what one person’s normal can be and how it can change when we become aware of what ever the pattern or behaviour is.
Until I had replenishing, quality sleep (when Universal Medicine came into my life) I did not realise how fractured my sleep patterns were previously. I just took it as a ‘normal’ nightly event that as we age/menopause etc. that sleep deprivation was part of this process. So now if I have disturbed sleep I have to get really honest and look into my previous days way of my living ways – inevitably I’ve left something unsaid or incomplete and taken this to bed with me. Your “What’s the solution” list Rosie is just the sleeping pill any non sleeper could ever ask for.
Having routines that we had when we were little, prepares the body for sleep. The body heeds the signals and enjoys the ritual and order of the process. All I need is that storybook read and I’ll be fine.
I know what you mean. I used to count the hours and make that more important than how I actually felt. Crazy really when I come to think of it.
I have observed that my body needs 7hrs sleep per night and setting the alarm for any less than this is a punishing and unrealistic expectation to go to sleep with. If I go to bed early then this allows plenty of time in the stillness of the early morning to do whatever it is I need to do, and ensures that I wake feeling rested and ready for the day. I realise that this may change over time but for now, it is great to honour this rhythm, my body in this way, remaining observant to what it needs.
It is so important that we observe and know what does and does not work for our bodies and to allow for adjustment and change because I have noticed that there are certain times of the month and if there is more on work wise that my body does actually need more sleep. I no longer need to use an alarm clock as my body wakes early and there always seems to be enough time yet some nights I may sleep a little longer or a little less.
The quality of my movements and presence in the day directly affects the quality of sleep I will have. It requires an absolute commitment to this and being aware of time and what needs to be done at the right time, so that I can get to bed at the time that best supports my body. I have come to realize that this is earlier than what I had previously thought and committing to this, and committing to not overeating in the day, has meant I wake up fresh and vital before my alarm in the morning. It has taken until the age of 38 (my birthday today!) to discover this for myself and it is a gorgeous thing to be living.
As you have stated Rosie its not the quantity of sleep its the quality, and a contributing factor to the quality is the time you go to sleep and the state you are in prior to going to sleep
“All of these things that I take to bed with me can be very tiring because on some level my body is still processing them all night long – and when I wake, I feel tired and as if I haven’t really slept at all.” I use to take a lot of stuff to bed with me before, I never allowed myself any wind down time. For so long I would wake up tired. When I started a routine of unwinding a few hours before bed and stopped stimulating my brain, this started to support my sleep and reduce the tiredness.
It is so true them when we keep things bottled up and have unresolved issues floating around our minds, it is much more difficult to fall asleep, let alone have a good quality sleep that we wake up from feeling fresh. So here’s to expressing everything that needs to be expressed throughout the day, in the name of sleep!
“I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed.” I love this! It is something I don’t really do, I am gentle with myself but don’t pay attention to the details like putting on cream on areas that might needs them, or using a hot water bottle when needed, and of course, with a baby I would be much more nurturing, So why am I not like this with myself? Hmmm, tonight I will see what it is like to nurture myself as I would a baby because I clearly do deserve this.
I find that a busy day and little bed time preparation means that the quality of my sleep is down and it’s amazing how long this plays out as I find it can affect not just the next day, but the one after and so forth. This has really taught me that the momentum of something doesn’t stop when I physically stop doing something. The energy will still continue to ripple and work its way through my body so this means that I need to be especially caring about setting up the foundations for the quality of my sleep. It doesn’t always go smoothly but the changes I have implemented certainly have made a difference.
I know what you mean about the momentum Helen. I often stop but the momentum is at times so strong that I get pulled back into the behaviour or habit that I am trying to change. Just being aware of it can make a big difference.
Your blog Rosie redefines the understanding that is available with regard to truly resting and supporting our bodies with sleep. Most are struggling to get a good nights sleep and at best we deal with it with sleeping pills and other means, but the science is simple as your experience so clearly shows. It is all about love.
Yes its definitely about the quality of the day and then of sleep. I feel that it is now new for me and a bit challenging as I started to share my bed again with my partner to get the same quality of sleep. It is beauty-full to cuddle but somehow the letting go and feeling totally ok when its time to sleep is a learning.
I agree Rosie, quality of sleep is definitely determined by our quality of care in daily life. The simple things, like stopping occasionally and just checking in with myself as to how I am feeling. Not bringing judgement to if I feel a little racy or tired, but staying with myself from then on, like a new beginning to the day. Often feeling can change hugely through the way I then choose to move, work, sit at the computer, prepare food, without angst that there is so much to do which there may be but there is something about staying with my body and feeling that prevents the to do list from becoming a ‘pressure’. Feeling can become a melting of tension, a tender feeling in the body and a warm inner glow. It is like initiating a healing in the midst of the day. So it does not take much imagination to fathom that when you go to sleep having not allowed those pressures to build up, how wonderful it feels to allow your eyes to close and the welcome and clear feeling of me rather than a rather blurry agitated feeling of all I may have taken on.
I have found that allowing winding down time before bed is an important part of the sleep rhythm. In the last few years I have stopped watching TV and this has made a big difference to how I wake in the mornings and how refreshed I feel. If I happen to watch TV now I can feel how stimulating the programmes are and how they would have affected the quality of my sleep
I am making a real focus of my sleep at the moment as the quality is not what I know it could be, it is fascinating to see how restless I am. Not in a good way I might add, quite the opposite. I never realised how much I took to bed with me…I am quite stunned there was room for my husband! Taking time to ensure your bed is just for you and if pertinent, the person you choose to share it with is vital for a rejuvenating sleep. Otherwise it simply eats away at you till something breaks down and brings you some honesty.
I love that Rosie. It is about quality not quantity.
When I honour my sleep times and allow my self to wind down in the day, I find my quality of sleep is deep and more supportive. When I don’t give myself anytime before bed, my quality of sleep is poor and am more tired the next morning.
Yes, when we allow an unloving energy to run us, it exhausts us and then to try and cope we seek more of the foods and drinks that excite us and pick us up for the short term, but long term leave us feeling even more tired.
I’ve really come to appreciate being honest with those around me of how I like to go to bed early and honour my body. Yes I got a few cheeky responses but, having a gentle night time routine actually reveals that I do not need 8 hours sleep and wake feeling refreshed and ready for my day to begin. I’ve taken a leaf out of your sharing Rosie and if any situations need to be sorted prior to going to bed – to not hold back and get it expressed before my beauty sleep – otherwise there is a lot of tossing and turning.
I have also always been honest about how early I go to bed, and I had some friends who used to laugh at me because after having them over for dinner, at about 8pm I would be saying its time to go home and they would make fun of me kicking them out but now, a few years later, they have been inspired and often go to bed even earlier than me.
I’m finding the quality of my sleep is getting better and better, the only thing I have to watch is that when I wake up I feel great and should get straight up for if I don’t and fall back to sleep again when I wake up I again I feel a bit lousy.
What I am finding with my body is, the earlier I go to sleep the less sleep I am needing and more revitalise I feel. The later I go to bed, the more sleep I am needing and the more tired I feel. It feels like an internal clock ticking inside, that knows what the best times are for my body.
Rosie I loved reading how you take your time to prepare for bed, and unwind. I have found how important it is to stay away for work emails before bed that trigger the mind. It is definitely the quality of sleep that refreshes the body rather than the quantity of sleep.
Thanks Sally, I laughed when reading this, because the last few days have been super busy and I have stayed on my computer doing work emails until quite late but you know that yes it does effect my sleep but I feel that because I have a good solid routine now, even when I do stray, it’s easy to return to my rhythm.
It really is about the quality of sleep as opposed to the hours we sleep. I used to suffer from fatigue, and given the choice I would have slept 9/10 hours at night and would have had a nap every day. In actual fact I did have naps almost every day. But now life is so different. I am much less anxious, I wind down at the end of the day. I eat different food which are more nourishing, less stimulating and less stodgy. I also listen to when my body ready to get to bed, instead of zoning out in front of the TV for a hour before bed. Now the quality if my sleep is better than it has ever been, even compared to when I was a child, and I no longer need naps, and have more energy than ever. The choices we make in how we are and what we do thing life really does make all the difference.
It is interesting reading everyones comments, as we are all living proof and have had first hand experience of quality versus quantity in regards to sleep.
Recently I have been working in a very stressful environment and working hard on not becoming involved in the stress or taking it on. This has not been easy and I am aware from the feeling in my body at the end of the day that I have been affected. This has been reflected to me in my sleep and the quality of it. I have found that I have not woken up as early as normal and not felt as refreshed when I do. Having recently had four days off and chosen to allow myself space to recover I have slept for an extra 3-4 hours per day. That is a lot for me, when a lay in usually counts for an extra hour. Such is the effect of stress and nervous energy.
As I have learnt to take much more care in how I prepare myself for sleep I am finding that even if things are still a bit off from the day just gone, the quality is affected. It really does all count and the next day is set up according to how well I have slept. I think the topic of sleep is super important to discuss in wholistic terms so thanks Rosie for your blog which is reminding us all not to underestimate taking care of this area of our life.
Yes, sleep is just as important as the time we are awake. They all effect each other so we can’t make one more important than another.
Yes, good point, it is much easier just to express during the day so that we are not left with unexpressed stuff doing circles around our head in the evenings.
I love putting myself to sleep every night like a new born baby. With such care and tenderness. It really makes a difference to the quality I sleep in and wake up in too.
Rosie I totally agree in that it is quality above quantity.
If I am stressed, rushed, anxious, excited during the day, my sleep and my dreams are all over the place. But if I am in a constant rhythm, allowing my body to be as it is and not get stimulated by anything, then my sleep is very deep and rejuvenating.
I am loving experiencing the difference and seeing it as a marker for how I am living.
That feels amazing Joe – making the bed is super important to me in my morning rhythm and I can feel the foundation it provides.
Ouch..but very true Willem. I remember times where I just wanted to shut the world out and go to sleep so that I wouldn’t have to deal with it… its very similar to taking drugs or drinking to not feel.
as always is the overall quality of our life that reflects into every microcosm of our life, it’s like we are a hologram, where everything is a part of the whole and the whole is a part of everything, and everything reflects upon everything within and without.
Yes Joe, thanks for adding that. In the past I would not care at all and my bed would often be a mess. These days however I do value you myself enough to make my bed because it really does feel lovely to lay down in a space that has been cared for rather than lay my body down in disregard.
Great tips on getting quality sleep Rosie and I would just like to add when you make your bed with care, this can also have an effect on the quality of sleep that you get.
As I sit here at 3:30am writing this comment, because I woke at 2:30am from an anxiety about all that I needed to do today, I have a very clear understanding of what you mean Rosie, about the quality of sleep. I was wired before I went to bed, worked until about 8:30pm and then continued to stimulate my nervous system with social media. I didn’t fall asleep until 10:30 because of it.
Tonight, I have another opportunity to up the level of quality of my sleep so that I am not short changing myself.
Awesome blog Rosie. What you have shared is so true. If we go to bed in the preoccupation of our unresolved issues, how can we not think this does not affect the quality of our sleep, which in turn affects the quality and level that our body is rejuvenated to and flows into our coming day. Poor sleep not only feeds the vicious circle of exhaustion but creates an even bigger sleep debt for us to deal with later on.
Thank you Rosie for a great article on sleep, it really is so simple, especially when we apply it to putting a baby to sleep. How we go to sleep is so reflective in how we wake up for the next morning.
Thanks for the reminder Rosie, I can often be busy working right up to the time I go to bed, when I do allow myself wind down my sleep has such a better quality.
I still do it at times too… and it just shows me how I still put work and other things as more important than me and the quality of sleep that is important to me to ensure the quality of how I live when awake. It is all the little things that really do effect how we go about our day and night that add up and matter.
Thank you Willem. Great reminder. I have been working on the computer till late some nights recently and I don’t need to. It feels so much more supportive to stop around 5 as you say
It is interesting since we all now have computers at home, how our working hours have extended and taken over our family time or time to just connect back to ourselves. I still get sucked into the screen until late at times and I am working on not working late!
That’s a beautiful sharing, Rosie! “..it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep..” That hits a nail. Many people around me are saying “I do get enough sleep but I’m still tired”. I know myself that when I’m going to bed with undulate stuff I can sleep 8 hours waking up tired. But taking myself caring to bed taking the time and space I need, maybe adding some rituals to it – makes me wake up at half past two in the night being totally awake: ready for the day. So five hours can be “enough”. It is not the amount of sleep – it’s the quality. Great said.*
As you say Rosie its not the quantity but quality of sleep that matters, and winding down prior to going to bed definitely helps
True Toni – these simple and supportive steps are gold, along with the non-judgemental approach that Rosie delivers them in. It’s so important to allow ourselves to develop ourselves at our own pace and not either strive to get it right or imagine that there is an end point at which we’ve made it. My relationship with sleep and rejuvenation is ever- evolving.
What I have learned about sleep form the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is to see my evening and night as the start of the next day – the way I go into my wind down and sleep time sure as eggs are eggs will affect the way my day will go tomorrow.
Wow that transforms everything Helen! I had not seen it like this before. Thanks for sharing.
Rosie great point you share, it really is the quality of sleep we get that is so important. For me it is so important to have a clear mind and no stimulation before bed, I support that in preparing myself for bed and winding down. This allows me to fall asleep quickly and wake as fresh. The more I have prepared for bed, the lighter my food choices in the evening the deeper the quality of sleep I have. I find my food intake also will effect the quality. It has been about just trying different ways and listening to my body what supports it.
“So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep”.
Such an important discovery and lesson Rosie, thank you.
Your blog is a lovely gentle reminder to establish a rhythm that is supportive of quality sleep and vital, loving days.
There is such a mind set for the preferred and acceptable time to go to bed. What if we stopped to clock the first time we felt tired and followed through with our actions? Trusting our bodies and listening to the cues that are there to support us. It is when we choose to distract or follow a certain norm that gets us caught up in the tiredness and fatigue of the next day.
I have been refining my sleep habits for awhile, as you say there is not perfection. I am giving it a go and seeing how I feel, I am becoming more aware that when I am a bit intense or into something before bed, like work, planning etc I do not sleep so well. Making my intention about rest, supporting and nurturing myself before bed has deeply supported the quality of my sleep and this continues to develop.
Its good to try different things and see the effect that they have. Lately I have fallen into a pattern of staying up just that little bit longer with my daughter and now after a week, I can see how the pattern becomes more and more normal and you start to accept the changes as normal…. but really this doesn’t actually feel great for me. One hour later to bed, means I am sleeping longer in the morning but when I wake I feel groggy. Its interesting to note the difference half and hour or an hour can make here or there.
I totally agree Rosie. I notice this also. I need less sleep the earlier I go to bed. Generally if I am asleep before 9pm, (as close to 9pm as 8:45pm, does not have to be 7:30pm), I wake up earlier and feel better than if I go to sleep at 10pm, in which case I often sleep for longer and wake up even more tired.
Just as we choose to surrender in a session with a practitioner, I find sleep to be the same. We surrender to the communication and what’s on offer while we sleep. For nothing is ever still, movement and clearing is forever happening, as in day so in night. When we prepare our bodies for the surrender before bed we receive more of the offering.
Absolutely agree Rosie, as with most things in our life it’s quality not quantity.
Thank you Rosie for a great post, the things you outlined are so simple, it’s just a matter of being aware of how these things affect our quality of sleep, and making the loving choices you shared. I love putting myself to sleep to be with me. Preparing myself for the new day.
I know this one and am a case in point – I am good at being in bed early and allow myself to sleep for 7-8 hours but because I often delay dealing with so much in the day I carry it into bed with me and wake up feeling less refreshed than I should. Thank you Rosie for further inspiration to look at the choices I make throughout the time I am awake so as to build a true quality of sleep.
What I have heard often in the past at Serge Benhayon’s presentations is that ifwe take to bed a feeling that our day is not complete, then the quality of sleep suffers. It is not something that can be truly healed in the last hours of the day. It is something meaning every step I take and activity I perform during every part of the day, has a quality to it that offers full completion before I begin the next activity.
As you have stated Rosie the preperation and the state you are in before going to bed has a big impact on the quality of sleep you will enjoy
I have found the same Rosie, the quality of my day affects my sleep and the more focus I bring to that and my preparation for bed, the less sleep I need because the sleep I am getting is renewing me and recharging me more efficiently.
Yes it is that simple, if how you live in the day does not exhaust you it makes sense then that you would not need as much time in your sleep time to recuperate from what you chose in the day.
It is amazing timing that I read this blog now, I was just wanting to go the bed, feeling quiet uneasy with an issue I have been running around with this evening. This blog reflects me that I can let go of that issue now, and make sure I go to bed with my head wind down and my shoulders relaxed, I feel that my body is changing from being anxious to still, in this state now I can go to sleep. Thank you Rosie, sometimes we need a lovingly reminder!
Yes, just a gentle loving reminder, or in my case sometimes I need a loud reminder for some things that I just keep on repeating over and over and I know that they don’t work.
Its interesting really, as we really only need to be reminded because on some level we know all of this before but somehow sometimes we just choose to forget or not be aware. Well that is how it has been for me anyway.
This blog makes so much sense. Not that long ago I would go to bed on time and get out on time but never feel fully rested. I realised this had much to do with how I went to bed, often rushed and still in the motion of the day getting everything done and never fully ready to go to bed. I also felt I did sometimes just put myself to bed without any care. Reflecting back I can see how I now have changed so much in my going to bed routine. It is very much like you described Rosie. I love to now enjoy myself before going to bed, being cozy in my beautiful pajamas and tucking myself in lovingly. I feel much more vital now than before.
I like Lieke also to take my time to put my pajamas’ on, I like to lovingly put cream on my face and hands and now the winter is coming I like to put my electric blanket on half hour before I get into bed. There is such an honoring of myself when I do this and makes such a difference to my nights sleep.
This is a great reminder to really check into your day, there could be anything just sitting there waiting for you to take notice; recently this was shown to me, I was dead to the world and all of a sudden snapped up out of bed in a panic, talking and wondering where I was and what I had to do. Once I realised I was at home and not at work or doing anything else I went back to sleep, thing was though I didn’t think I had any unresolved issue; clearly this showed me otherwise and what I didn’t want to see.
Many would have the same experience as you describe Jaime and think nothing of it, but what I love is the fact that you take it as a warning bell… or a sign that something must still be unresolved for your body to react like that. Awesome.
The rhythm is so important, I feel that all I do in my day affects all that I sleep. So this inspired me to again prepare lovingly before going to bed.
I only realised yesterday how many rituals I have in my day and all of these little rituals actually support me and are like a road map so that I am not all over the place. None of them are fixed, and they are all flexible which is super supportive and they too have an effect on my sleep.
So true Rosie it is the rituals that we do everyday that help us get back to ourselves if we have had a bad day…putting my electric blanket on, warming my eye pillows, a shower are all so supportive in bringing myself back and stop me from focussing on things I can not resolve or find answers for. It is not always easy and occasionally I will take a problem to bed with me and let the rituals slip, but if I do I know the quality of sleep will not be the same as when I do all the usual things that support me as I go to sleep
Rosie, it’s no surprise that this post has come up at a time when I am very stressed, and although I am not having any trouble sleeping, I am certainly not experiencing a quality sleep. I know this because I have been dreaming about work A LOT! There have been some days when I don’t even feel like I’ve left work because it has been on my mind for 24 hours straight.
I know the importance of preparing myself for sleep, and yet I continue to throw myself in bed, look at my phone until my eyes hurt and then go straight to sleep. There is another choice to be made, it comes down to me making it.
I love how we can stumble across the right blog at the right time. And yes the choice Elodie, is all yours… but sometimes if you are like me.. that is, stubborn and perhaps stuck in old patterns of behaviours, we have to keep doing things over and over until eventually we learn or just say Stop it, that’s enough now!
You’re right Rosie. And I wrote that 2 months ago, and I have to say, I haven’t changed my old behaviours yet. Constantly aware of what I’m doing, but still not choosing to make the choice to change my pattern. I’m finding it hard not to beat myself up for this, mainly because how I’m currently living is not working for me. I’m exhausted and yet there are choices presenting themselves to me that are obvious, yet I’m not choosing them.
BUT. I know I am free to choose in every moment. so, TODAY, I will set a reminder in my phone to start winding down at 5pm, and no build up of activity before bed.
Reminder set!
Like putting yourself to bed, gently like a baby… we can also bring this approach to ourselves for every time we stuff up or make a choice that does not feel great. Think, ooopsy daisy, and try again, give yourself the same space to change and learn as you would a child rather than be so hard on yourself. Its a much easier approach and way more loving, and still something I have to practise.
Great blog Rosie reminding us that the quality of how we sleep determines how alert and refreshed we are in the morning. I also have found that winding down is very important before bed and avoiding stimulating conversations or TV. Great point made in dealing with unresolved issues as soon as they arise, otherwise they stay with us.
This is a great question to revisit – how much sleep do I really need? I sometimes surprise myself by waking up much earlier than I thought I would and convince myself that I only needed to go to toilet, or I must have been running on the nervous energy etc. and put myself back to bed for more sleep that I tell myself I need. I guess I am going to have to experiment with giving the total autonomy to my body and follow as it wakes up.
The quality of our sleep makes such a difference. Everyone who had a period with sleeping problems knows to appreciate a good nights sleep. What I love about this blog Rosie, is how you refine your sleep quality by observing how your choices before bed time effect this period of rest and how every detail counts.
I can totally relate to what you have shared here Rosie. Sometimes I will wake up feeling just as exhausted as when I went to bed. I can see that when this happens I taken alot of unresolved stuff to bed with me. I love the idea of clearing all this before I go to bed. Thank you Rosie
Thanks Rosie, it certainly is all about the quality of sleep and not necessarily the quantity. As someone who has always easily fallen asleep I need to be careful to continue to deepen my relationship with sleep and to take care to cultivate the quality of my sleep.
Hi Tim, I would say if you are someone who easily falls asleep, it may help to look at how you are living in your day, and not just how you sleep as they go hand in hand.
I know I used to fall asleep because I was exhausted, with changes to my day and the way I live, the way I now sleep has changed heaps.
Just an interesting thought that came up with your comment Tim, is that I’ve always found men to go to sleep faster than women. Something to ponder on…… Can men shut off easier than women? It’s seems womens minds can keep them awake even when bodily exhaustion is added.
We are so used to hammering ourselves all day, and then dropping into bed, an endless cycle that repeats until we drop, that to break this cycle is a revelation and a revolution and our lives cannot help but benefit
It’s so true Rosie that the quality of sleep far outweighs the quantity and I find for me that it’s also listening to my body and going to bed when I feel tired regardless of whether it’s “too early” because if I override this I can miss the sleep cycle and it absolutely affects the quality of the sleep I then have.
I love what you have shared here Rosie, all of it!! But something stood out for me was – “So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep.” That is isn’t how much sleep we need, but how I am living before I go to bed – this is what affects our sleep. That is really huge, I have heard it before, but it really is so important and very overlooked. I know it is something that I can bring a lot more attention to!
These day I have absolutely no trouble sleeping, I go out like a light and sleep like a baby. The main thing for me is absolutely no stimulation in the evening, especially no movies, as I find this does disturb this now very revered time. I used to take sleep so for granted but now treat it with the respect it deserves for the wonderful regenerating process that it is.
Yes Kevin, I have found the same thing, the more I respect my sleep and the preparation needed in order to ensure I get a good sleep, the less I have wanted stimulation later at night.
Just before we go to bed is the time we are open to absorbing the most, I don’t do it anymore but if I watched the news or something on television before going to bed I could feel really funny the next day, depending on what I watched I could have some very odd thoughts that definitely where not mine!
“I put myself to bed as if I were putting baby to bed..” That brings such a sense of preciousness and honouring of self to this nightly ritual: that alone would ensure a deeper quality of sleep, I feel.
Yes, the tenderness and preciousness that we bring to our care of a baby can be divine to feel when it is offered to ourselves. I have also found the practice of Esoteric Yoga has changed the tenderness I can be with myself which in turn has supported my bed time.
Sometimes I wake up early like 2.00 am, do a bit of reading, but should I go back to sleep from 3.30am till 5am or 6am then I will wake up a bit tired, but I might get better later on during the morning! I have also heard that once awake, if we try to get back to sleep, this will drain kidney energy and will make us more tired which is quite interesting to experience and a good thing to remember.
I had accepted that 8 hours was a given amount of hours to sleep to replenish my busy body. Giving myself such a hard time tossing and turning in bed as the hours ticked away – while wide awake. How that has all so changed. Like you share Rosie the introduction of gently winding down prior to going to bed has made tremendous changes to my sleeping pattern and to the way I feel more energised to the start of my next day.
Hi Rosie, this is a great sharing on our sleep habits, and expectations around sleep. I like to wind down after diner by just clearing away my stuff from the day, and showering either before or after diner. Its a ritual to also read a few chapters of one of the purple books of
Serge Benhayon before I turn out the light, I find gentle stretching exercises help my body wind down gently too . I wake up very early but I can cope by either having a cup of tea or doing some computer work, or sometimes listening to a talk on radio, some very interesting topics are discussed, sometimes of interest and if not I turn off and get up!
Hi Rosie, I can feel the dedication you have brought to your preparation for sleep, step by step, and it is truly inspiring. I am working on developing a supportive routine before going to bed myself I can feel how the simple and very practical steps you describe are. Thank you.
With my evening shift work I do the same, I give attention to my body while working, feel my feet, when I wash my hands, feel the water, feel how tender my hands are etc. When I come home I nurture and care for myself by washing my face, looking in the mirror and see my lovely face while I brush my teeth and put on some cream and then put myself to bed and have a great rest and quality of sleep.
I love what you share here Annelies, so simple yet so profound! Nurture and care is the key to a good nights rest. I will use this simple “recipe” for the late shifts at work this months. I observed that I tend to rush things when it gets late but that I actually have to slow things down a bit as my body is tiered and therfore a bit slower.
I remember growing up wishing I didn’t need to sleep so much, I felt like I had so much to do in this world and could really see that thinking I needed to sleep at least 8 or 9 hours a night was such a waste. It’s like I have once known what living with less sleep but quality sleep was like and was trying to find a way back to that way of living. I have since found what that way back is, and that is being in the Livingness as presented initially by Serge Benhayon. It’s like a how to guide to live life in the 21st century in a way that enables me to maintain a connection to my body and therefore to the universe as we are all made of the same stuff. Sleeping less seems to be a natural symptom of loving, accepting and nurturing myself.
My latest bit of home work so to speak, or thing that I am working on is really feeling my body when I lie down. What I mean here is that I am often buzzing around and my nervous system feels quite over active and in this, my body is holding to a certain point constantly. It is almost so constant that I forget that it is not normal and my natural state…. but I can feel the difference when I take the time to feel it and let go, to fully let my body feel safe and surrender. When I do take the time to do this, I feel for a moment the amount of energy and force I must use to stay in the tension.
Just thought I would share that with you all as I think the nervous tension is something that so many of us get caught up with in our busy lives.
Rosie you have once again brought such simplicity and practical pondering with this blog. Feeling the difference between going to sleepy with the days actions still playing out in my head often leaves me feeling restless and wondering the what if’s… Surrendering to the sleep and appreciating everything we have done to support ourselves and others rests our body in another quality. I know which one I would choose.
‘Its not about perfection-so just taking baby steps is a good start’, this is an important point Rosie otherwise the idea of perfection itself creates a tension and anxiety that interferes with the quality of our sleep.
Great point Rosie, it’s the quality of our sleep that counts, I can have an early night and sleep later in the morning, and still feel tired that day, because of not expressing to others what I needed to in the day.
With the Understanding of the healing quality sleep has and it is important that we do our part of preparation for it to be able to receive that support and healing.
For the last year I have really worked on my routine to prepare for bed, I have found this has really supported me in deepening my sleep. I am no longer caught up in the belief that you must have 8 hrs sleep to have completely rested. With preparing for sleep and honouring this time I have found the quality of my sleep has been really great, with this quality of sleep I most of the time only need 4-6 hrs, my body wakes me up automatically. This was unheard of before, but is truly really possibly now.
So it is the quality of sleep that matters not the length.
This is a great blog Rosie, and I can really relate to all that you have written, especially that it is the quality of sleep that is more important than the duration. The biggest impediment to my quality of sleep is unresolved issues with people, if I delay dealing with my relationships, it goes round and round in my head. I am learning to deal with things in the moment, not needing to know the answer but trusting that honesty will lead me there. When my relationships feel complete, my sleep is rejuvenating.
Its so absolutely true Bernard, it’s the un-dealt with issues and lack of expressing things with others that interfere with my sleep the most. Ironically it’s this part of my life I find the most challenging, and yet when I do express to others it’s the most rewarding thing I can do.
I love expressing and am pretty good at it, but now and then I have moments where I don’t get it all out and when I eventually do what I notice is a sense of relief in my body. This relief comes because by not expressing I have built up a whole lot of tension. It is in those moments that I realise once again how very important it is to say what needs to be said, not to be afraid or worry how another may react but just do my best in sharing, because if I don’t I am not only harming myself and creating unecessary tension but I am also affecting those around me. They not only don’t get to hear what I have to say but they would also be affected by the tension I am then in.
Yes Rosie, and it is so important to practice, to be ok with stumbling. Expression takes time and the fact that you felt the small bits you held back is enough to give you the resolve to express more fully next time. I feel that I am a toddler, stumbling and bumping but there is no part of me that is turning that tap off now that I have given it permission to be on!
There is so much more to learn, we are always students of ourselves and there is no where to get to, so if we fall or stumble, we just get back up.
This is also my experience Rosie, that we need to communicate and talk with our family member if there are any problems or conflicts. Taking unresolved issues to bed and into our sleep is very disturbing and harming for our health and our relationships.
Many people struggle with getting to sleep so this is a great article in offering what has supported you. It makes complete sense that the quality we are living before sleep is what we take to bed with us so winding down in whatever way is true for us is a deeply caring ritual that we all deserve to be showing ourselves… one that will lovingly feed us back the quality of sleep we desire.
Recently I have had a few busy days in a row and I noticed on one evening I was practically falling asleep by the time I ate diner . That night I had some strange dreams and threw myself around the bed in my restlessness. In a dream threw myself at a dream character and landed on the floor! Not a great way to be woken up! I have made sure I am taking more time to rest through the day if I can and take myself of to bed early having allowed time to wind down gently with some stretching.
Many times I have been asked how much sleep do we need or what is the right time to go to bed? I love how you turn it around Rosie in this article and make it clear that our bodies know when to go to bed and how much sleep we need, just as they know when, how much and what to eat as well as how to work. Offering this really brings our quality of life down to such a simple principle, it is a powerful way to bring people to the true choice there is to make – will I start listening to my body or not?
This is such a great point Simon, that you are highlighting here. The body is our marker of truth, it holds so much wisdom, when we start to study it we can learn so much through it. It makes such a difference whether an advice is given by somebody from the outside or it is a wisdom that has arisen through observing your own body. The latter is tremdendously empowering and much more supportive in following through with your choices.
Wisdom from within rather than advice from outside. Simple really.
These are very wise words. It seeps so logical and we know this. If we have ever looked after children and put them to bed, we know that we need to calm them down and not start any rowdy games before bed. Why do we think as adults that we can magically change the physical needs that lead us to a good nights sleep? It’s time to treat ourselves with the love that we would show a small child.
Yes, we do need to treat ourselves with the same level of love. Nothing more and nothing less.
Absolutely agree Rosie. I had a period of time spanning over 3 years where my sleep was on most nights broken and at worst being dead tired yet waking after 1 hours sleep and not returning for hours. What I since discovered is the importance of the quality I take myself to bed in, have I cleaned up after dinner, is my day complete, and has this lead me to delicately turning down the covers to ever so tenderly place myself into bed? I love my time for sleep, and love the reflection of the quality I wake up in to start the day with, from how I’ve taken myself to bed the night before.
It is such a great point you make Rosie that it is not the quantity of sleep that is important but the quality. Like you I have found that not doing anything stimulating but unwinding for an hour or so before going to bed so important.
Thank you Rosie, long are the days when I used to think the longer I slept the better it was for me even if my body felt heavy and still needed a strong espresso to sharpen me up for the day, I know live in the knowing that the quality I choose to live during the day will have an impact on the quality of my sleep. This is so simple, and as you said it is committing to the baby steps first that creates a flow for a restful sleep even if it is a few hours.
Your blog makes sense to me Rosie as I experience times when I feel I need more sleep than others and have noticed the connection between how I live my day and how I sleep through the night, we’re no different to babies really.
That is so true, but we often treat ourselves very differently.
Focussing on quantity instead of quality is a trap we can fall into – so it is very simple and practical wisdom to have ways to bring quality to our sleep. I would sometimes find that I would naturally wakeup early and look at the time and think ‘it’s too early’ and I would go back to sleep – waking up feeling much worse and heavy that when I first awoke. I too am learning to listen to my body and let it lead the way.
I agree Sarah, quantity does not make up for quality. When I wake up in the morning and feel heavy or sluggish, going back to sleep does not improve the condition. Usually a bit of movement and bringing more conscious presence to my body, giving it caring attention helps a lot.
Thank you Rosie for the solution to getting a better night sleep. I too have made these changes but far from perfect as I don’t always give myself enough time to wind down and therefore find it difficult to go to sleep. What I have found is if I follow those simple steps you have written about Rosie I have a better quality sleep and as a result need less sleep and wake feeling refreshed and ready to go.
Thank you Rosie a really great post. When I have something about work still whizzing around in my head, even though I might sleep I feel really tired the next day. So I totally agree that it is all to do with the quality of sleep, and not the quantity.
I feel the discussion around how much sleep we need is like many red herrings we have in society at the moment. It seems like a way of diverting our attention from ourselves and our part in our sleep issues. It gives us a convenient excuse for why we wake so tired and unrefreshed. It only takes a quick look at how much coffee we drink, the food we eat and the crazy pace of life to know that something in our day needs to change before something will change in our sleep.
Rosie such great practical wisdom putting your self to bed in loving way.
I do also feel very clear the difference when I have not prepared myself in a loving way for sleep. E.g. if there is still rush from the day or if I want to finish things before sleeping. It is important to complete the day, which is much easier if I have already done everything timely and consciously present without rush during the day. If you drive all the day with high speed, you cannot expect that the car and the engine will cool down quickly. But sometimes the body does not need much if it is tired. Sometimes it just wants to lay down without anything special. And that also should be appreciated. Of course then I ponder why I got so tired. Anyway having time to prepare oneself for sleep is the best.
You reminded me that for a long time I was giving myself a massage in bed jus to prepare myself for sleep and to give myself the care and dedication I would then take into my bed with me…It is a lovely feeling.
Thanks for the reminder. It is a lovely feeling to love yourself up before going to bed. I don’t do the massaging my body enough but did take the time to massage my tired feet the other night and it realy doesn’t take long and it feels so good to honour myself.
What you are expressing Rosie is so true: “But I have noticed that it’s not really about how long I sleep, but the quality of sleep that I am getting.” It really depends on, in which quality we go to bed – if I take all the stuff from the day before with me into my sleep, I definitely need more hours sleep, instead of letting go the daily stuff, before I go to bed, and then I need much less sleep. We wake up in the quality we went to bed with and the sleep is a great reflection of how we live.
Awesome points to consider Rosie when we are feeling our sleep is not a great quality. “There is never enough time and all these issues just keep building on each other until the pile is massive and much harder to deal with.” Making time to express has proved worthwhile for me – a deep nurturing sleep was never available to me when I had constant thoughts raging around in my head of what I should or shouldn’t say about any issues that arise throughout my day. So much more loving to express for all concerned and then to appreciate a healing sleep.
Thank you Rosie, this is such a great blog. It reminds me to keep current in relationships and not let things build up so that when something happens it means a sleepless, or very short-lived, sleep-filled night. I experienced one of those recently and it really put me out and impacted on another difficult situation at work and in the family. Everything has a ripple effect so taking care to wind down and treat ourselves with love and care towards and at bed-time ripples into everything else and definitely how we sleep and the quality of our sleep.
What a helpfull reminder, Rosie, not to put everybody else before me but take time to prepare myself going to bed.
I realize, that I naturally do not involve in any exitement before I go to bed and normally I fall asleep fast,but to take extra time for showering and creaming, or for a walk feels amazing.
I agree Kerstin, how supportive if we have a loving ritual before going to bed, like showering or going for a walk to prepare ourselves for sleep.
This is actually amazing Rosie. You have identified that the quality of sleep is what actually rejuvenates you and you have also laid down some simple but incredibility effective techniques that ensure the quality of your sleep keeps developing. A very inspiration blog for any one who is having problems with any aspect of their sleep or waking up still tired after a nights sleep.
So beautifully simple Rosie. Yet many seem to think that getting a good nights sleep is an elusive thing. I’ve noticed that even if I do take my time and go to bed early etc. using any kind of device – TV, IPad, Computers & phones before going to bed can have a major affect on the quality of my sleep. It really is all about quality not quantity.
Rosie I loved re-reading this blog. It just makes so much sense – of course how we are in our days are what is making us so tired / will affect the quality of our sleep. I love the simple practical steps you have shared as to what you do to wind down and prepare yourself for sleep.
It is great to read this again Rosie and I love the points you have shared. Preparing for sleep is a beautiful opportunity to reflect, honour and appreciate how I have been with myself during the day. I then can choose what ritual best nurtures me as I wind down and prepare for sleep and rest that my beautiful body needs.
That feels amazing Carola, bring on the bed time ritual
Absolutely Rosie, it is not about how long to sleep, but the quality of sleep that we are offering to ourselves. I have developed a similar routine to the one you share and this is precious to me. I love how you share “I deserve to love and care for myself fully, and it’s something that I had never really taken time to do” – absolutely you and we all deserve that level of care and honouring, and no doubt many of us would have/relate to the feeling of not really taking the time for it.
For years I have not taken the time to care for myself like you mentioned Alexandra. In the last 5yrs my routine has changed and I know my body really appreciates being nurtured and cared for so it too can be rested with less stress and tension.
‘I deserve to love and care for myself fully, and it’s something that I had never really taken time to do. We often give this much care to others and our children but forget to also give that same care and dedication to ourselves.’
That is so true Rosie. Instead of longing to be cared for by someone else and feeling the annoyance that nobody is there for you in the way that you are there for them, we have a choice to be like that with ourselves. We all tell each other not to be so hard on ourselves or to take good care of ourselves but do we really understand what that means. I sure didn’t before I learned about ‘The Way of the Livingness’. Through the gentle breath http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free/meditation-for-beginners/reconnecting-gentle-breath-meditation.html I can reconnect back to who I really am and start feeling my lovely self, pure like a newborn baby. And once I feel this, it is not so hard anymore to deeply care for myself. And you know what? It improves my life like you wouldn’t believe.
Bedtime was the part of my routine I changed first and it was the part that had the most impact on my days, I remember being asked to consider that my next day starts with my bed time so no matter how bad my day seemed to me, I started the next day before I went to sleep. Conversely if I had a really beautiful day I would be sure to confirm it before I went to sleep knowing tomorrow would offer me opportunities to do it all again under a different disguise. I highly recommend re-reading Rosie’s blog and taking that first step. It changed my life.
Rosie, your blog is music to my ears, so lovely to hear you express about your evolving sleep patterns, it makes so much sense – it is the quality of sleep rather then the quantity.
Thanks for the inspiration I want to share your blog with the world!
A good nights sleep makes such a difference and it is well worth taking the responsibility for and learn what the body needs to be put to rest in a nurturing way.
When it comes to sleep, I’ve been using my body as a lab rat over the decades, disregarding what it really needs and how it needs it. My conclusion in my lifelong research is that it’s not how much sleep but when I sleep that truly matters. I can get eight hours flat and still wake up feeling whacked if I haven’t honoured the fact that my body prefers, nay demands an early to bed early to rise regime, one that if not followed, has me depleted before the day’s even begun. When I retire early, I need less sleep but the quality of it is way better. When I ‘heed the need’, I have so much vitality, clarity and stillness the next morning – like I’ve had an overnight detox – and that’s precious and priceless, affecting how I meet with life on a daily basis. It’s thanks to Universal Medicine and the wisdom about the body it brings, that my attitude, approach and commitment to sleep now focusses on what’s best for my body rather than letting my mind rule the show.
Hi Cathy, I love how you describe the use of your body as a lab rat over the decades! Our bodies are fascinating science projects if we only just stop to become aware and observe them and take note…. and try different ways and see the results.
I see so many people in my massage clinic who struggle with sleep and exhaustion; what you present here Rosie is so important.
Yes, our world is full of exhaustion and sleep problems, and hence why coffee is so popular as is sugar. I have no need for the stimulants these days as my body doesn’t need a pick me up which is great.
This is a great explanation about sleep, showing how simply taking the time to wind down, having an evening ritual and dealing with any issues that have happened during the day all affect the quality of sleep. Thanks for sharing Rosie.
This is great what you share with us Rosie. Preparing for my sleep is equally as important as my morning routine is into getting up. To keep feeling what my body is telling me. Not to overrule the initial feelings of tiredness is the big one for me. Watching TV last thing is definitely too stimulating and since this activity has stopped – going to sleep is fairly instant to wake up feeling fresh and ready for my day.
‘When I do go to bed, I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed’. That is so gorgeous Rosie and I can really relate to that. It is so wonderful to feel that tenderness inside, all that yumminess and then lovingly putting yourself to bed. What a contrast to the way I used to spend my evenings or even nights.
Yes, I am sure we have all got some pretty scary contrasts from how we would pass out, fall asleep or wake up without remembering going to bed to how we can lovingly prepare for sleep and how great that feels and how good we sleep these days. Your comment brought up some old memories for me and it just makes me stop and appreciate how I have changed my life and how wonderful it is to have people like Serge Benhayon who presents the Way of The Livingness.
I enjoyed reading this so much Rosie I sought it out two days later to read it again. The whole blog asks us to stop and consider the quality of our sleep and not just put how we feel down to ‘oh I had a bad night’s sleep’, rather you very gently and lovingly suggest we join the dots. If we sleep poorly why was that? There is so much to explore here about all of the day’s happenings that can be unresolved in the body, by opening up the conversation in this blog it opens up so much to be aware of. For instance, maybe someone watches television each evening but, depending on the television show, some shows may be more unsettling or stimulating, the same could be said about the kinds of books that might be read before bed. The tips you offer are so beautiful and practical, I am especially enamoured with the consideration you give to your wind down and evening activities.
I can relate to being over stimulated by watching the TV or having an excitable conversation too late at night and particularly having had a full on day at work. As I pay more attention to my sleep patterns I am becoming more aware of how foods affects the quality of my sleep – so for some time now I haven’t been eating supper or snacking and it does seem to make a difference.
Thank you Deanne, its true, one tv show or movie can really have an effect on how racy you may feel in your body. Is your body in flight or fight mode from what it just witnessed. We cannot under estimate the effect it is having on us. To say it is just on tv and does not effect us is really denial.
I am glad you added this comment Deanne, I could never have improved the quality of my sleep if I did not pay close attention to how I lived throughout the day and been honest with myself about what was interfering with my quality of sleep.
What a beautiful and simple blog. I have only recently begun to express how I am feeling and what is going on in my every day to other members of my family. Although I have made a choice to commit to this and enjoying it at times, it can be quite challenging especially with members of my extended family. What I am finding is, by expressing I am feeling much clearer and therefore the quality of my sleep is improving. It makes so much sense to address any issues that arise and discuss them instead of burying them and hoping they will go away.
The wind down time is so important, I have to agree. My sleeping rhythm has been so constant for so long when I had to go out the other night to get some things from the supermarket as we were having a surprise birthday the next day for my wife that bit of stimulation at a time I am usually under the covers was enough to keep me from falling asleep for sometime.
“When I do go to bed, I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed. I really take the time to get comfortable, so that my body feels fully supported.”- This feels so beautiful and nurturing, especially after a full day’s work.
And I agree the quality we are in when we go to bed is paramount if we are to wake up feeling refreshed and vital.
This is such a fascinating question. My understanding of sleep has completely changed in the last 5 years. The more I learn about energy and how it effects my body, the deeper and more content my sleep gets.
So true Vicky Geary, about how energy effects the body. I have found that the quality of my day, my expression and what is going on inside my head greatly effects how I sleep… or not. This is a good marker for me because if I have a bad nights sleep then I can take an honest appraisal of how I have been during the day and take responsibility for how I have been with myself and my behaviour.
Considering we sleep from a 1/4 to 1/3 of our day, and every day at that, we do not pay much attention to our sleep and the many factors that can interfere with our sleep quality. That makes this article Rosie not just an interesting read but health promotional – at the very least. Generally as long as we get some sleep and can substitute what restoration we don’t get from our sleep, whether that be from poor quality sleep and or not enough sleep, with caffeine sleep quality does not register as the public health matter it should.
I have certainly noticed the difference in my sleep depending on the quality of my day, it’s been very revealing to have my body reflects the agitation or the raciness from my day that you get to feel all over again as I try to sleep. Nothing goes unnoticed in the body if we are open to feeling it … after all it’s our bodies way of communicating with us.
Re-reading your blog helps me to establish further on what you already have explored. So great, to be absolutely consequent in clearing up everything in relationships before you go to bed. Being consequent with a winding down phase is challenging and is breaking a lot of habits, that show me, how I am living with myself, but I can feel the great benefit of becoming more consistent with it. Your suggestions for a good sleep are hanging over my bed : ) and you have inspired me so much especially with your line about bringing yourself to bed like a baby. I am doing now a lot, as I would do it with a baby for myself and it brings a beautiful delicateness and self-love. So I am doing my baby-steps in every aspect, you have suggested, to provide a good sleeping quality. And I will re-read the blog again, I am sure.
Thank you Stefanie, I am glad you are inspired by what I have shared. As I read your comment, I realised that these steps that I wrote about, are now second nature to me, and just a way of life. Once put into practise, they become normal and I wouldn’t want to live any other way.
I wholeheartedly agree with you Rosie, the true quality of a great nights sleep is how I have lived the day that is now ending as I wind down for bed.
When reading your blog Rosie I was struck by the very simple changes you made to improve your quality of sleep.
Simple, yet very powerful and effective.
You have inspired me to be more consistent in implementing the strategies that work for me around my bedtime routine.
I still find it hard to let go of the fact that it isn’t how long I sleep but how I am during the day and especially the run up to sleep that actually affects how I will feel in the morning. It’s as if I want to be ignorant and ignore the way I live. What a difference it would be if I took utmost responsibility towards the way I live in the day rather than trying to avoid it. I have found that there is a connection between the length of sleep I need and the way I have lived in the day, in the sense that when I sleep if I have lived the day for example in a lot of nervous tension, being in a rush and generally not having much time or if I have reacted and got into arguments then when I wake up I always feel as if I need more sleep and end up going back to bed for another couple of hours! Overall there is just a lot of responsibility I don’t want to take in regards to the integrity of how I live during the day and the ripple effect that will consequentially have on my sleep and the following days.
Yes – RESPONSIBILITY is what works for me. And I actually love being responsible these days as the results are so rewarding.
Yes, this is such a great point Oliver, that, how we have been during the day certainly does correlate to the quality of sleep, and then, how you wake up feeling in the morning. We do tend to put alot of expectations on sleep, and blame it on say a neighbour’s dog barking, too many thoughts, someone else snoring etc etc, but how Rosie has shared about preparing for sleep, certainly helps the body to wind down, and let go of a day’s activities. Like a coiled spring, we do have to take responsibility to do our bit to unwind, so it allows our body to reconstitute and rejuvenate during the sleeping hours.
This is such a great topic to talk about there are so many people who struggle with sleep issues – for me the quality of my sleep changed when I realised that it wasn’t some automatic check out time of eh day it was actually a very important healing and rejuvenating time for my body and how i was during the day affects how i was able to sleep at night. Everything I do affects my body in some way and not being able to sleep through the night or waking up tired was a reflection of choices that I was making during the day..
As with all things in life it is quality over quantity, i used to sleep for many any hours but still wake up feeling exhausted wanting to sleep more and wrestling with my alarm clock. Now my quality of sleep reflects the quality of my day right up to the moment that i lay my head on my pillow. Having made considerable changes in my way of life i now sleep a lot less and often wake up naturally in the morning.
Oh Rosie, this is super. The perfect time for me to read this blog. I love what you shared about putting ourselves to bed like we would a baby. I often fall into bed exhausted after a massive day and when I read that comment I melted into the chair. Tonight I will be putting myself to bed like a baby. Thank you.
I love it when I read a blog and it is totally relevant to my life at that time. There are some amazing blogs on this site!
As I read your comment, I could feel your relief in melting into the chair knowing that you too can put yourself to bed like a baby….
The way you mentioned how we “brush things under the carpet’ made me laugh Rosie as really the way we live, for many our carpets would be 90ft tall by now. So I agree such great medicine to address situations and emotions at the time they come up, gracefully.
Thanks Joseph, I just had a cartoon skit in my head of the carpet trying to balance on top of 90ft of unresolved stuff. Now that would be a balancing act! But laughs aside, that is actually how it can be at times.
I love dusk, I feel its natures way of conveying to me its time to wind down. I love the the way the sun is so low in the sky signalling its days work is nearly done, and the way long shadows are cast across the landscape, a gentle indication of the night to follow. The birds all seem to whistle, hush, slow down, rest now. I feel beaconed to be pensive, to focus inward, to come to an inner quiet, a still place where I can reflect on the day and appreciate and feel part of the beauty surrounding me. Natures most tender, ‘tuck in’ and loving kiss good night. With out a doubt, nature knows in what quality to take repose.
Beautiful Barbara, as I read your comment, I felt it to be a gentle nature lullabye.
Dusk is a such a lovely time of the day, thank you for your description.
What for me stands out in your blog Rosie is how well you describe what nurturing really means, e.g. “I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed.” Awesome – I love it.
I am finding that it is the quality of my sleep that makes the difference how well rested my body is. I could sleep 5-6 hours if the quality is supportive and I find I am fresher and full of energy, if my quality is disturbed then my day becomes a challenge. What I am really working on is the quality in how I go to bed, if I have a good wind down before bed, I find that really supports my sleep, if I have even a slight stimulation before bed, then I have a restful sleep. I am finding it is so supportive in creating a supportive wind down rhythm before bed.
I love this Rosie. Super practical and very simple. The difference preparing ourselves for sleep makes, not only for how we sleep but how we wake up and how we are the following day is enormous. There has been a program on TV that I have been watching recently before bed, and this really does effect how I wake up big time. It’s a struggle essentially to wake up and I feel quite groggy and heavy in the head. In contrast when I don’t watch TV, I feel quite bright and wake up easily. All of our choices make such a difference.
I had always difficulties with falling asleep, I could lay awake for a longtime. I was overriding being tired and stayed up late, could not say goodbye to the television or I had to finish the book I was reading or I was with friends till everyone would have gone home in case I would miss something. How different with my choices now, I choose to listen to my body, wind down and go to bed when I am tired and I fall in sleep easily
I used to want to be the last one awake and not be able to go to bed if people were still around at my house. These days I actually ask friends to leave if it is late because for me, my sleep and my rhythms are so important and affect how I feel to such a degree that to me, its not worth staying up late. We can always meet up another day. It is nothing personal towards my friends, just me choosing what works for me and my body. Some may call that selfish, but to me it is so self loving. In the past I would not have been able to make that choice for myself and now I realise that was because I didn’t want to upset anyone or for someone to not like me…. so I would go against what felt right for me to please others. Not anymore!
I have been staying up until my daughter gets home from work, which is quite late and passed the time that I would usually go to bed. This really gets me out of my rhythm and I really feel it in the morning. I have realised that this is not a loving thing to do for me and now take myself to bed and ask her to come and let me know when she has gotten home.
‘I learned these simple ways from presentations by Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon, and from my own experimenting and experience.’ Rosie, a lovely confirmation that what is presented by Universal Medicine is a particular way of living that we, the students of the livingness, are left to play with or not (as we see fit) to find a way that is our own lived way.
Yes, simple tools that we can experiment with or not. Simple choices.
Rosie, I am finding that the little changes round my bedtime routine have a huge impact on the quality of my sleep. I notice how easy it is to allow a ‘screen’ to keep you up late, be it a television or computer because of how subtly addictive they are and if I do stay up late then the quality of my sleep is poor and I feel the impact of it the following day.
I am also finding that it is not the number of hours I sleep but the quality. We have no TV on the evening now, and tend to start winding down quite early. This has been confirmed for me recently when I was staying with my mum after my dad passed over. The evenings tended to be busier, with lots of people around and on one particular evening there was a lot of alcohol. Even though I got to bed at a reasonable time, the quality of my sleep was not as good and I woke with a heavy head. Thank you Rosie for sharing.
Before attending the presentations by Universal Medicine on sleep, I paid no attention to how I would sleep and at first thought it was all nonsense, but over the years it has become very important to me, because now I value the quality of my sleep and it teaches me a lot about how I am living during the day. Thanks for the useful tips and great discussion Rosie.
What jumped out from your blog Rosie were the words Self Care. The self-caring ways we treat ourselves are super important to the quality of sleep and consequently our whole being in general. Everything we do is connected. We can have a nurturing wind down routine towards sleep or a stimulating one, each produces a different quality of sleep and therefore a different quality for the next day, and so on.
I love the way you write Rosie, in a heart inviting simplicity that is so easy to read as if you would talk to someone.
You have changed so much to the better I can tell!
Thanks for being a great reflection for the truth with sleeping.
Thank you for this precise and simple presentation of how the way we put ourselves to sleep makes a huge difference to the quality of our sleep; we can either be totally wound up from the events of the day and still be running the equivalent of a marathon overnight – or we can put ourselves to bed gently and lovingly and build the restful quality of this hugely important part of our daily rhythm.
Yes, so much appreciation for all that I have learnt from Universal Medicine and how much I have changed my life for the better too.
A few years ago, I was still listening to drum and base literally just before going to bed. I wasn’t winding down or slowing – instead pushing ahead with work, trading currency, making phone calls and generally being very active. I had to do something, otherwise, it was a sleep study and specialists to the tune of a few thousand dollars that main stream medicine could offer me.
Since beginning the simple act of not allowing myself to use a screen, do really any activity (except walking) and slowing my whole day down before going to bed, I sleep so much better. This in conjunction with other self-responsible developments means I now sleep better, fall asleep quicker and feel more vital. Good blog Rosie. Simple, yet there’s hoards of people with sleeping problems who can benefit from a read of this.
Totally agree. We focus on the amount of hours and not in the quality of our sleep. The key is the latter one though. The quality of our sleep is directly related to how we live the day and our capacity to complete what is there to be completed. What happens at night is therefore a direct result of what happened during the day.
There seems to be some things that in our day-to-day lives, we just don’t think about… I never ever thought about when I went to bed, I had no idea how important it was to establish a rhythm of living that supported my daily commitment to reconnecting to my true self. It does seem so obvious now, but really it was only through the presentations of Universal Medicine that the insight and awareness to live in this way truly came to me, and for this I am deeply grateful as it has totally changed for the better the way I live.
As a child I suffered from insomnia, until I was able to resolve childhood hurts and abuse.
From then on I thought I ‘slept well’.
However, through attending presentations given by Serge Benhayon I came to understand sleep from a whole new perspective.
This I learned, if I have been overly busy, am anxious or tense, or, have not expressed my truth during the day, that nights sleep will be like a ‘shutdown’ and not regenerating.
‘Catching up on sleep’ doesn’t work, if we want a restorative nights sleep we have to work on how we are living our day/s.
I so agree with you Rosie, quality sleep not quantity. How I am during the day and a gentle winding down from early evening makes all the difference to the quality of my sleep and how I feel the following day. Preparing for sleep for my body to restore itself rather than a relief from exhaustion allows for quality sleep.
I am feeling to have a rest in the day now too and your blog is reminding me to be especially tender and caring of myself at these times too. Thank you Rosie.
If you are tired, then that is the best thing to do. I know I still often find it hard to stop and rest, but when I do, even for just 10 minutes, it can really change my whole day… and I wonder to myself, why I am so hard on myself and don’t allow this more often.
Rosie, its always lovely to read your very candid and inspiring blogs. This one felt so warm and nurturing, the way you prepare yourself for a good nights sleep. I can really feel the love you are developing for yourself. Just beautiful
Thank you Rosie, your points on baby steps to a good quality of sleep, I printed out and will hang them near to my bed now, as a reminder. I also started already to say – no screens after 7pm – but felt clearly, when I read your blog, to start more early with it is much better. Also your ritual with the shower, I like very much. And to bring oneself to bed as a baby brings at once a warm and tender, peaceful feeling that provides a basis for the quality of sleep. Wow, I realize much more my patterns of getting into excitement in different ways, instead of winding down and how this has an impact on the sleep and the next day and so on. So thank you again for this inspirational sharing of your experience and practice. While I am writing that, the morning sun comes in with a beautiful warmth and light, touching me and the whole room.
Thank you Stefanie, I can feel your appreciation in how you write. It is like the warmth you of the morning sun that you describe.
I too loved what Rosie said about putting yourself to bed as you would a baby and as I read her words and yours I could feel myself snuggling down into my bed and being lovingly tucked in; cherished, loved and adored. I am now looking forward to
going to bed tonight and doing just this.
Love your blog on getting a good night’s sleep. I am still needing to feel my natural body’s rhythm and honour when I need to get up. But I definitely agree that the quality you are in during the day affects how you sleep at night.
The myths about how much sleep we really need busted !!
Rosie I love this. “When I do go to bed, I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed. ” This just reminds me to really nurture and instill a beautiful quality preparing for my bedtime. Thank you.
Winding down at the end of the day without doing anything too stimulating and putting myself to bed with care is something I have totally nailed and is good medicine for me. I much prefer doing things in the early morning rather than staying up later to get things done. This is something that really works for me and always has although there were many years is the past that I overrode this natural way of being for me.
It is interesting how we can override what we naturally know is good and works for us isn’t it Kevin? This overriding what we know is in a way like a form of self abuse.
Very clear and self-explanatory really: when we go to bed having to somehow digest and deal with all the unresolved issues that we have with people and situations, then we don’t get a good nights sleep, no matter how many hours we put in.
And when we just look at the phone to check some mails or social media before sleeping, is distracting us away from a solid good night sleep, I can feel the difference what it does to me. We absolutely create our own quality of sleep how we prepare for the night, and this starts already how we live during our day.
Its so true Rosie that how we live in our day will determine how we sleep and wake for the next day. Like you if I have something that I am dwelling on and not letting go of, the quality of my sleep is less than usual and I am exhausted when I wake up. It’s like I have added in too much for my body to process overnight, that it couldn’t possibly deal with all the added worry, negative thoughts and crazy notions and the effect that this has on my body as well as the day that I have already lived. No wonder I wake up exhausted. I have found winding down from my day, similar in the way you have described an amazing support to be able to let go of my day and be really caring and loving for myself.
Rosie, I love your writing. It always makes so much sense. I can relate to what you have shared. The nights that I go to bed rehashing and thinking about the day I wake up exhausted. Its like I have battled with myself each night. The days where I go to bed more content in myself I wake up energised and refreshed.
the reminder to put myself to bed as I would do a baby is great and good to remember on the rare occasions when I get up in the night, rather than just diving back under the bed covers.
yes I love putting myself to bed very carefully and even turning over carefully when I need to turn, It feels as if more of me is present and looking after myself, even when I am asleep and I rarely wake up disorientated or anxious, but feeling great to be inside my body.
So true, that we sometimes care more for others than for ourself.
I have the exact experience, when I get myself very connected and caring in bed- the next morning I am full of energy and very clear. It took me quite long to truly wind down and enjoy my body before sleep, the loving discipline is worth it 🙂
Thanks Steffi, I was just reading your comment and thought about the word discipline. I used to not like it, as it was a like a rule to me, and I have never liked rules but now I can see it as a really self loving thing to have in your life. And discipline with your sleep rhythm, with your food choices etc is so worth it.
Hi Rosie, I loved reading the steps you take to prepare for going to bed. I’m realising more and more just how important this part of my day is so that I can have a really rejuvenating sleep – for quite a while I thought it was just about going to bed early and getting those 8 hours, but now I realise that the way in which I put myself to sleep can have such an impact on the way I feel when I wake up. Thank you for sharing.
Super simple post Rosie that supports us towards a rejuvenating sleep, as opposed otherwise. Your words here are so apt in developing the quality of our sleep: “So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep”. The way we live, is the way we sleep. There is no difference in quality.
In having a new partner in my life I had let go a little of ‘putting myself to sleep’ as I like to lie with him for a bit before I sleep. This is a great reminder to be fully with myself and my body even when I am lying with him and of putting myself to sleep like a baby.
Thanks for sharing Carolien, it is something that I don’t practise in going to sleep, but with my interactions with people during the day. How to be with them, and stay with myself fully, as in not try to be like them, impress or even be less.
To just be myself, and to expect nothing of them, allowing them to be themselves too. No expectations and no judgements. Its a work in progress.
It was awesome to read your blog again Rosie, and makes me ponder on the quality of sleep I am getting. I have had interrupted sleep for years, with frequent waking during the night, I am learning to accept this and focus on how I live during the day, and see that when I’m not present with my body in the activities I am doing it creates an anxiety in my body, that is then played out at night.
I have experienced this too Rosie. It really does make a huge difference with how you put yourself to sleep. As I find that it is easy to get caught up in getting the things done you didn’t get done during the day, as we try to squeeze the very last seconds out of each day to achieve what we needed to complete. However, I have found this doesn’t work as it creates more tensions and stress for the next day because your even more tired to complete any activities or have any time for yourself and others.
It’s a vicious snow ball effect.
This is a very practical blog looking at what are actually quite sensible elements like not becoming too stimulated with work emails and so on after a certain time in the evening. I agree it is the quality of sleep which is of importance not the length of time you sleep. I will certainly be looking deeper at my own bedtime wind down.
I can certainly relate to what you share. I have noticed also that 6 hours sleep from 9.00pm to 3.00am is so much different to even 10 hours sleep had after going to bed late. It appears that extra hours of sleeping in do not equate in terms of quality to the extra hours had by going to bed early.
Hello Adam, yes it is very much based for me on quality of sleep and not necessarily quantity. If I am up too late in the night then I feel a little fuzzy in my head. If I were to stay up late for a few nights in a row then I noticed it more. I use to be a shift worker for many years and constantly lived with a fuzzy feeling. I enjoy going to bed around that ‘9pm’ mark because of the clarity I wake to.
I am experiencing that fuzzy feeling you describe right now as I was up a lot last night with a sick child. What I just realised is that I used to feel like this all the time, and no wonder I was always looking for another coffee or something sweet to pick me up. Now, because my sleep pattern is so established, I really do notice how fuzzy and not myself I feel when I break the pattern. Luckily this is a one off, and in a way, a good reminder to take care of myself and my sleep.
Some time ago I was going through a stressful situation, and a friend suggested that I hug a pillow as I fell asleep. This simple sweet act really supported my ability to care for and value myself. It made me appreciate that deep down inside I have so much love to express and share. Bed time now is always about coming back to love.
What you have written is so true Rosie. It is definitely the quality of the sleep not the amount of hours. I have been getting up at 3am most mornings for quite a while and do not feel tired at all during the day. It is amazing really -if my body does feel weary I go to bed a little earlier. The day feels more spacious.
Hello Rosie, your article put me to sleep, kidding. What you are saying is really profound though. We live in a world that tends to focus on the quantity not the quality. I love what you are showing us here and for me it’s true. If we take ourselves to bed with a deep care this almost guarantees us a deep sleep. I have found what I am doing before bed directly affects my sleep and how my next day is and as well as you say the way I live my day also has the same direct affect. Everyday is a fresh start, so if your sleep has little or a low quality, look at the way you live your day and even then at least start with putting yourself to bed “as if I were putting a baby to bed”. Thanks Rosie.
You made me laugh with your first line Raymond! Thanks for that.
Everyday is a fresh new start, an opportunity that if we wake up tired, its no big deal, because today we can look at how we have lived before and how we felt about it, and then today we can either build on that or make a fresh new choice.
Great blog Rosie. I can really tell the difference in the quality of my sleep with how I was the day before not necessarily the amount that I have.
I have been experimenting with this for a while now and have to laugh at my stubborness when it comes to trying a few things out (over and over, in case my interpretation of my study is incorrect) such as watching TV before bed, each time with the same result, a feeling of exhaustion and lack of a deep sleep. Particularly if what I have watched has been particularly dramatic or emotional. So I then choose to watch less ‘exciting’ things before bed, which perhaps have slightly less of an impact on my sleep, but a notable impact none the less.
These days I don’t watch TV before bed during the week…which is even more revealing when I choose to on the weekend. I sleep for longer than I would normally and wake up feeling a bit groggy. I’m really aware now of the impact it has on my quality of sleep, and I suspect I have a bit more experimenting to go before I accept what is proving to be a bit of a fact.
Thanks Elodie, your honest comment made me laugh!
For me its like I get all the answers and facts right in front of me but I still want to see if there is a way around it or a way to not really see what is staring me in the face… I get there in the end, but I am the one that often makes it a battle instead of just accepting what is obvious and making a choice to change.
This is very supportive Rosie and much appreciated. My sleep can be erratic in terms of how I put myself to bed and you have highlighted that I can bring a lot more love to this practice. Thank you.
Even practising can be playful and fun, and when you don’t have a set agenda, you never know what you may discover…. perhaps a awesome way to support you.
“But I have noticed that it’s not really about how long I sleep, but the quality of sleep that I am getting.”
I have found this to be so true Rosie. If I go to bed with unresolved things from the day in my head the quality of my sleep is poor so I have come to realise how super important it is to take responsibility for what requires attention, so as to aid quality and restful sleep.
Thank you Rosie, it is lovely to come back to this an be reminded how simple it is to prepare for a good night sleep.
I never thought I would have a routine and rhythm and actually was against the whole idea for a long time, but it is the most supportive thing to do. My body already knows what is coming next because of how I prepare and therefore it all just happens with a flow and easily.
I love your routine on preparing yourself for bed and the end of a day. I have also found the quality of sleep I have from having a method of closing my day down before bed has allowed me start everyday the same, as a fresh new day.
Preparing for sleep makes an incredible difference. As someone who experienced years of insomnia, winding down has made an invaluable change to the quality of my sleep.
Dealing with issues is another life changer. I used to go to bed with about 50 people! Not actual people, but all of my issues and worries and concerns with them, that I had not dealt with that day, week, month or even year. So even when I did sleep I would wake up feeling as though I had been in a boxing ring all night…and on the losing end of the match.
There is a science to sleep. Not just the laboratory type science, but a living science that we have more say in than we have been currently taught.
For many years, I only had one speed in life, and I prepared myself for bed by getting myself exhausted. Over time, I have introduced a wind down regime similar to that you have written about, and it has made a huge difference to my quality of sleep. Something else I have learnt from Universal Medicine is that it takes energy to sleep, something I never understood at first. But it makes sense. Sometimes, I used to be too exhausted to even sleep properly, so that whilst my eyes were closed, my body did not in effect have the energy to repair itself properly.
Thanks Adam for sharing that… I know that feeling of only going to bed when exhausted. I had never considered that you need energy for a good nights sleep. That makes a lot of sense.
Thank you Adam, I also know the practice of bringing myself into an exhaustion to go to sleep. But this type of exhaustion, coming from not wanting to feel my body, and the unresolved issues from the day (and the hurt beneath), just stayed then in my body during the night and I still felt the same exhaustion when I woke up. As you wrote, too exhausted, to sleep properly. I love to change this way of living in baby steps through inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I am still becoming aware of the more subtle layers of this old pattern through healing my hurts. So healing my hurts is not only a way to become loving and joyful in life, it is also very good, for a good sleep.
I find it very supportive to connect to my body with some slow gentle Rhythmic movements (connective tissue exercise’s) before I go to sleep. But also if I wake at night and am restless or anxious it helps focus my mind back to my body and allow me to let go and relax. Thank you Rosie for your awesome blog.
I enjoyed rereading your blog Rosie and have been paying much loving attention to my preparation for sleep.
I love what you say here Vicky, ‘The more I trust this, the more I am shown how I am constantly supported’. This is the magic of God.
Have you ever noticed that when you have a full day that you wake up at a time that gives you all the space required to complete what needs to be completed. The more I trust this, the more I am shown how I am constantly supported.
That old pattern of doing everything I need for the next day and getting ready before I go to bed – know it so well. What I realise is that that is preparing for something that hasn’t happened yet, whereas the coming night’s sleep is right there in front of me and that’s where my focus should be.
Gradually Vicky I too am trusting that if I go to bed without all tomorrow’s preparations done but with a commitment to a restful night’s sleep, I do go to sleep more readily and wake up in plenty of time for tomorrow and often with a new perspective on what I need to do!
I have noticed this, how my body wakes me up naturally earlier and I feel like I have a few hours before my day would usually start, which allows me the time and space to do everything without a rush or push.
Great simple blog Rosie. It is so true if we have any emotional issues where we haven’t expressed or communicated then sleep can be disrupted. Years ago I can remember waking in the middle of the night to have thoughts running through my head about the days events obviously unresolved or not completed. Through gentle breath meditation and loving preparation before bed I now sleep solidly throughout the night.
Yes, the quality of our day becomes the quality of our sleep. I also love how forgiving our bodies are. We can have had a stressful day but if we follow a lovely wind down routine, we can still have a lovely sleep in any case.
The more I express during the day, sharing in the moment how I feel and really communicating what is going on, the less sleep I need. My sleep and the quality of my sleep have changed enormously since I am opening up and have started to express. Everything I don’t express during the day, stays in my body and I take this into my bedroom. It affects my sleep. So it’s all about how I live during the day, the choices I make and most importantly, the way I express.
Thanks for sharing Rosie, it’s nice to have a reminder every now and
then and keep bringing it back into my rhythm.
I love the picture for your Article.
So enjoyed reading this blog Rosie – I feel that most of us could raise a hand and say that we have at some point in our lives had disturbed sleep. Our bodies being a constant source of information revealing to us when to sleep, what foods really nourish us etc – it’s amazing just by being open to listening and feeling and not ignoring these signals and to nurture ourselves in the ways you so beautifully describe.
Thank you Rosie. I have been feeling really tired lately and I have also been going to bed exhausted, scrolling on my phone before bedtime to numb myself enough to fall asleep. It is a self perpetuating cycle and you give some great tips here for how to break it’s hold.
Leonne, you wrote it! The scrolling on the phone technique…. ah yes, I know this one too…. and sometimes my phone is screaming at me to pick it up and stroke its screen… but alas, NO…. I say No to the screen and I take the time to connect and feel my body, to check in with my toes, my feet and feel how different parts of my body are, and you know before I know it, I am fast asleep.
There are other times when the screen wins… and my body is ignored and it just doesn’t quite feel the same.
What I appreciate about coming back to this blog is that it is a great reminder that change takes time. And that once what was self-loving (going to bed eariler and eariler) is now normal, and that now I am reminded that my day affects my night – but it takes time to change. Allowing for that space for change feels more supportive. Thank You Rosie 🙂
That is also what I experience. It is the small changes from unwinding to acknowledging when I am tired and then go to bed. What I particularly like about the whole sleeping business is that it is personal. So there are no rules, just indications where we can feel for ourselves where we are at. Purely by feeling our bodies and feel what suits best.
I am totally with you there Caroline. I find I get a much better sleep when I have given my bodies messages more notice during the day than if I have spent the day in my head thinking about this, that and everything.
I have suffered from lack of sleep for many years due to heightened nervous system. I feared going to bed as I knew the agony of once again trying to get to sleep for a few exhausted hours. I totally agree with your dot points Rosie and now I go to bed when I am tired, not exhausted, take the time to wind down and puff up my pillows so it feels like I’m landing on a cloud. Bedtime is a great time to give that “care and dedication to ourselves”.
Rosie I feel you’re spot on when you talk about the quality of.the sleep as being an essential.component. I am a night shift worker and so have a very unusual sleep pattern. There are times when I will only have a 2 hour sleep and then another 3 hour sleep later in the day but it works for me. I don’t obsessively add up the hours that I get as I used to I simply feel how much sleep I need from my what my body is saying.
What a great much needed blog Rosie Bason.
Sleep is such a big global issue and I reckon its linked to all that stuff like sugar and caffeine which races our nervous system. There is heaps of evidence now saying we need more sleep and as a nation we are not making this a priority.
I had no idea what it was to wind down and have a quality sleep. I certainly do now and have plenty to share on this subject simply because of how I am choosing to live everyday.
I got the ‘template’ from Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon who are Masters of quality sleep. I then applied this into my own life and then made my own choices and found my own way.
One of the biggest things I have learned is that going to bed late and staying in bed late guarantees you are not going to get the quality deep rest and sleep that your body truly needs. It is the other way – going to bed early and super early if you feel extra tired or exhausted that day.
It makes so much sense to not isolate the quality of our sleep from the quality of how we are living the rest of our day. Rather than just getting more sleep which does not always guarantee that I will be rested, it was revelatory for me to consider why I was so exhausted from the day and address this as well. And as Rosie describes consider not taking my unresolved issues of the day into my sleep.
Yes, the statistics these days show that everyone is exhausted.
Spoken like a true sleep doctor!!
Thank you Rosie, fabulous tips for getting a good nights rest.
I totally agree Rosie, it’s not how much, but the quality of sleep that affects how we feel. I notice if I watch TV before bed the quality of my sleep is more racy, my head feels busy and it can be difficult to go to sleep.
Hi Rosie, your blog was like medicine today. I have been feeling recently that I am neglecting my bed time routine, as I have become caught up in the doing of all those things that feel vital in the moment but are really just distractions away from being present. I will begin anew to commit myself to honouring my bedtime routine and to fully enjoy being present as I unwind at the end of my day. Thank you.
Our sleep really reflects how we are living, I have noticed for me sometimes I have had very little sleep but the quality has been amazing, so I feel very fresh and alert and then there has been times when I have had longer sleep but very restless and that has shown me that my rhythm has been out. I am finding sleep is a really great indicator.
I love how every day we are faced with such great reflections of how we are living. Going to sleep, what and how we eat, the quality of our breath, the sound of our voice, how we feel in our body – they are all there to show us so much about ourselves. In effect, we really can’t escape this constant feedback we are receiving. Yet, how clever have we also become at ignoring, hiding, denying or lying to ourselves about things that are literally in our face. The question is ‘who is fooling who’?
Good question Vicky! Everything is right there for us and yet I know I have played dumb at times, pretending I didn’t know what my body was so clearly communicating to me.
Thank you for the sleeping tips Rosie. I can vouch that its not the amount of hours you can sleep for but the quality that you sleep in that leads to you feeling vital or not. I use to get the suggested amount of time or more yet still woke up feeling like a zombie. Now sometimes I sleep for less then the ‘recommended’ amount and wake up feeling vital and don’t feel tired through out my whole day. Its incredible how much the quality actually affects your vitality.
I have found recently that I am waking up early only to not get up and fall back asleep, thinking the extra time in bed might make me feel less tired. And yet I have found that when I wake up again I am far more tired than the first time and my day feels less full because I haven’t had my time in the morning to get things done, and I spend the rest of the day trying to catch up. It really shows me that we can have too much sleep as much as we can have to little.
The one thing that I have noticed is how, if I am not careful being busy at work can affect my sleep pattern. I have never had a problem getting to sleep but find that I can wake up multiple times if my head is too busy. I work in an estate agents and it can get crazy in our busy period and I find myself balancing several jobs at once with each one being super important to someone. Over time things have improved but there are occasions when I find I have a feeling of nervousness inside which makes my quality of sleep quite poor.
I know what you mean Julie, its like the nervous tension from the day is with you, and therefore you wake several times at night and if you feel your body, you can feel that it is not still and that the nervousness is still running amuck.
I never would have though that dealing with our emotional issues would support people to sleep more soundly.. But this makes sense. It puts the body at ease and allows the body to surrender as the tension eases (if the issues are resolved that is) !
Rosie, it sure is a different quality of sleep if I fall asleep exhausted without a sense of fulfillment and completion to the day. If I’ve addressed everything by putting things in order and speaking up about anything that is disturbing, then the body can settle much better and I need much less sleep because the hours I do sleep are deeply revitalizing.
Last night I went to bed exhausted and with a small issue on my mind. I have woken this morning feeling tired having had a restless night. I had set my alarm to wake me a little earlier than normal and woke before the alarm went of. But I felt tired. Many times i have woken like this and rolled over and went back to sleep, to wake up later still feeling tired. This morning however i did get up when the alarm went off. I turned my computer on, I went to the Everyday livingness web site to read and comment on some blogs. What did i find? A blog on sleep. I can relate to all that has been written and i only need to look at what i was doing and how i went to bed last night to feel that lack of quality in my sleep, and how that affects me now. My day prepares me for sleep and sleep prepares me for my day.
Such an interesting article Rosie – Sleep is such a big part of our lives, too much of it and you can feel worse than if you have too little, not enough sleep and you feel worn out. Its taken me a while to really listen to my body clock – and yes it is up to us to be responsible for the ways we prepare ourselves for this nightly event. Early to bed early to rise.
It is very much about the quality of our waking day that affects the quality of our sleep. I particularly notice around 7pm when I am getting tired, to allow it, to put a few stops in the activity around this time and really let myself get tired. It might read funny to go against our bodies, but it is more of a habit to fight to stay awake, as we notice young children might do. But when the day feels full and complete it is easier to surrender to the natural rhythm of my body and allow myself to wind down.
Yes Simon, and it feels so lovely to surrender to that feeling of being tired, instead of fighting it and looking for ways to keep myself awake.
I loved rereading your blog Rosie.
It is such a powerful reminder and inspiration for me as I quite often have difficulty with my sleep patterns.
Thank you.
Rosie, your comment ‘All of these things that I take to bed with me can be very tiring because on some level my body is still processing them all night long ‘ is a great observation. We can underestimate the importance of how we are leading up to our bedtime (and throughout our day). Like you, I am aware of not engaging in stimulating activities in the evening to allow my body to fully wind down and this can be difficult some days and perhaps some gentle stretches or movement are required to release thoughts and tension. I am finding my quality of sleep is far more restorative these days and I require less hours.
I absolutely agree with you Rosie what a difference in how I used to go to bed to how I put myself to sleep now. By going to bed with unresolved issues, or squeezing in getting done lots of those little things before getting into bed or sitting up to watch television it is far harder to get to sleep, my sleep is disturbed and I feel tired through the following day. But by allowing myself the time to just become more gentle and tender with myself beforehand, being aware of how I am putting myself to bed, being in bed by around 8.30, I gently drift into sleep and I wake up feeling refreshed, my whole day flows a lot easier and I am not exhausted by the end of the day and also I don’t need as many hours sleep. I just love that time I allow myself in the evening and I love the early mornings not having to rush out the door to work.
What a great topic and awesome comments. Sleep is so much more then just shutting out the world and switching of at the end of a day. I am now practising with seeing my bedtime as the start of a new day. A moment to connect with myself, appreciate, nurture and then choose the quality for my next day and put myself to sleep with that.
This is beautiful, simple and really practical Rosie. I too have had similar experiences with my sleep and appreciate so much the wisdom especially Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon have shared with me too about sleep and how supportive it can really be.
I can so relate to this Rosie. I spent most of my life making sure I got exactly 8 hours sleep (at least) and if I didn’t it actually created an anxiousness in me. I never considered the quality of my sleep and never asked why I could sleep that long and still wake tired. Today I too am aware of the quality of my sleep and how I take myself to sleep as it were. Now it has nothing to do with the length of time (in fact 8 hours sleep is often too much for me most days). Now I work with how am I during my day and at the end of my day and what I may still have unresolved from the day. All of these things impact on the quality of sleep I have and so are part of my everyday awareness and wellbeing routine.
It is so true that I have often given far more care to how I would put my children to bed than to myself. But as I change how I care for myself there is in fact more tenderness in the care that I am able to give to others, and not just to my children, but to every one.
Spot on Rosie, as I read this, I feel like there is no end to the quality of sleep possible, based on the depth of quality we are willing to live during the day.
To put myself to bed as if I was putting a baby to bed…. What a beautiful invitation and reminder. Thank you Rosie I can’t wait to put this into practice tonight. Just simply imagining placing my head on the pillow with all of the preciousness that it so deserves, brings up a feeling of appreciation in my body.
“how I am living before I go to sleep” – this is such a profound statement Rosie and one that should be plastered all over the magazines and wellbeing sections of news papers. To bring peoples attention to this, we so often think that we just can flop our bodies into bed (myself included) and expect our body to just ‘relax and get a good nights sleep’. But ‘how’ have we been living throughout the day? I am constantly bringing my attention back to this, and asking myself……am I using sleep to shut down my awareness, escape from the day because I may not have felt pleased with what had unfolded. I truly loved your blog, it has enabled me to deepen my awareness, on this topic so thank you.
Sleep is really strange – I only slept a few hours last night and woke up with a headache and spent the entire day working but by lunchtime I was much better and by the evening I felt great and all of that without a nap or even feeling like one. On other days I sleep quite a bit longer and then feel good all day – clearly a lot depends on how your day is but maybe I need less sleep than I think.
Isn’t it great Christoph when we let go of what the mind thinks we need, as far as food or sleep is concerned, and actually just go with what the body feels. I am always pleasantly surprised.
I agree Christoph. It’s when I think about it too much that it confuses me. I know that if I listen to the intelligence of my body than the choice is already made and it feels like the most loving one.
What you have shared is beautifully refreshing Rosie, thank you. For me its incredible that no matter how well I may have begun my day in caring for myself to set foundation for what’s ahead of me, I was finding how by the end of the day this to have all but worn off completely. Why not take that time then to prepare for the sleep cycle, then around and around, one flowing to another, lovingly caring all the way!
Hi Rosie,
I really enjoyed this blog what you have said about preparing yourself for sleep and ensuring you don’t have unresolved issues to process all night long therefore affecting your quality of sleep is really sensible. I also take the point its not how many hours you sleep but the quality in which you sleep which counts.
Hi Rosie
I have had a history for as long as I can remember of sleepless nights. Never sleeping through and waking around 3 or 4am and eating to put myself back to sleep. However, recently I have found myself sleeping for 4 or 5 hours straight, this is nothing less than miraculous for me. Could this be because I have made more self loving choices for me during the day, taken more care in winding down, am dealing with my stuff and have less anxiety, speaking up more and being more open. Possibly yes, and all this thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and of course, thanks to me too. I am not unique, sleeplessness is rife today, sleeping tablets are not the answer and neither is two pieces of toast and a cup of tea in the early hours. It is how we live our lives throughout the day. It has taken me too many years to come to this point and if I can do it anyone can, all it takes is a little more self care and dedication to ourselves.
Thank you Rosie.
I also agree, the quality of our sleep matches the quality of our day, and I have loads of energy on 4-6 hours sleep, and I know many people who have less than that and are full of vitality.
Super simple and practical. In reading this article I could feel how much we neglect ourselves as we get older, as if we don’t matter as much anymore because we are older and stronger. Yet we still have that same sensitivity we had as a child and that never goes away. Its lovely to read Rosie how you are re-connecting to holding yourself precious in this way.
I used to feel lonely on waking ‘too’ early, thinking no one else was awake.
Since changing my perspective on ‘have I had enough hours ‘, and discovering that how I lived through the day, particularly the few hours leading up to bedtime affected my sleep. It no longer concerns me if I am the only one awake.
How ever many hours I sleep, if I wake feeling restored in mind and body, there is no longer loneliness and I am ready and look forward to the day ahead.
Sleep can be a beautiful continuation of an innate rhythm that is so balanced and yummy.
Often, it can take one small moment to throw us out of it
Self nurturing is sometimes difficult after a busy day or if issues are not dealt with. I love how such a simple thing like having a shower can be part of unwinding and at the same time be self nurturing. A lovely blog, thank you Rosie.
Thanks Rosie, it’s so true what you say, sleep is one of the most fundamental aspects of life that affects most of us if it’s not right. I learnt also that it isn’t ‘8-hours’ I need, but a certain quality of sleep. If I look after myself during the day and am not run ragged or haven’t been stressed about something, then sleep is great and I don’t need anywhere near 8 hours to feel refreshed. That leaves more hours in the day to get other things done.
I have found that if I feel incomplete I can either be ‘good’ and go to bed early not addressing whatever it is, or I can stay up distracting myself, avoiding addressing whatever it is. Neither scenario sees me waking joyfully in the morning but rather in the illusion that I am ready for the day when in truth, there is something lingering from the day before to attend to. Often I find that there is an opportunity that presents itself to clear whatever it is, however have I not compromised the quality of sleep, my own health and that of others in this delaying tactic? To coin a phrase from the comments – this is something to be “on to.”
It’s so true Rosie, the quality of our sleep is determined by the quality of how we are when we go to bed, and this is a result of the quality we have lived during the day and how we have prepared for sleep. Sounds so simple, but so important, and sometimes so easily overlooked. I find it tempting to override that natural impulse of the body that tells me exactly when it wants to go to bed, but instead try to push the body to keep going a couple more hours, with emails, work, reading, and then when I do go to bed I’m revved up, sleep is out the window, and the next morning i’m stuffed. Totally not worth it.. And so it’s also interesting to look at why I made those choices in my day to not honour what my body was so clearly telling me.
I’m currently doing a house-sit on a country property and tuning in the rhythm of the day. The winding down of the evening feels like the earth, birds and animals are also taking this time to prepare for rest. No city lights or sounds, no television, no newspapers or news, natural tiredness and a restful sleep.
So true that we often give care to others and ignore our own well-being “I deserve to love and care for myself fully, and it’s something that I had never really taken time to do. We often give this much care to others and our children but forget to also give that same care and dedication to ourselves.” I know that I was aware when I became a parent of how I did this with our new babies, caring for them got me pondering about how I could learn to care for myself. And bed, I am learning that the true way to a good nights sleep is to prepare. Thank you.
Awesome blog Rosie, I am a shift worker and I get caught in my head at times, feeling I need to sleep a lot or I won’t cope with my job. I know it is about my quality of sleep as recently I have noticed I can sleep less yet feel refreshed and well rested. I love the idea of putting myself to bed like a baby, I look forward to trying this out.
This has been so great to read Rosie, a great reminder to bring a deeper level of awareness as to how to go about something that we’ve all been doing for such a long time and can become just a routine. This provides us with helpful tips on how to make it something so much more, so thank you.
Great topic Rosie, I find that if my day has been too stimulating or I react badly to something then the quality of my sleep is poor, even though I never have a problem getting to sleep, I would wake up every hour and then in the end I get up feeling frustrated and exhausted – not a great way to start a day.
I have always gone to bed early but would hang on to watch the tv but these days I feel the benefit of a good nights sleep and having a couple of bad nights helps me to look at my reactions during the day.
This is a great point Julie, having a bad night sleep is an opportunity to look at the quality that was lived the previous day, wouldn’t it be amazing if we could grow from every bad nights sleep ?
Thank you Rosie for sharing this great blog , the last point you made really struck a chord in me and how I have not honoured that preciousness that I am, as I would a baby, and putting myself to sleep as I would one of my grandchildren. Thank you I will start tonight.
‘How I’m living before I go to sleep’ – that is the key. Thank you Rosie.
To my feeling the question should be ‘how well can I prepare myself for going to sleep?’ instead of ‘how much sleep do we need?’ It is all about how we appreciate sleep in our lives. If we understand that our sleep is so much more than laying our bodies at rest to recover from our daily activities, we cannot but give it the attention it deserves and will integrate it as a valuable period in our daily lives.
I want to thank you Rosie for providing me with your simple and loving suggestions that will assist me in getting this deeper understanding of the purpose of sleep. I love the way you described “I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed” and I can feel that by treating myself like this will help me in becoming more connected with the true purpose of sleep.
Thanks Rosie, I really needed to read that. My sleeping ritual is a bit messy and I wonder why I also toss and turn for ages before getting to sleep. I have done some experimenting mysef and have to say that watching TV before bed is never conducive for a quality nights sleep for me. I take more on from the show I’m watching than I actually think, which is sometimes even reflected in my dreams.
I have never owned a tv, but I have watched movies now and then before going to sleep and it does effect how my sleep is. Its interesting really because for so many people in our society, watching tv and movies is a normal every day thing.
This is simple responsibility for ourselves because the quality we choose our sleep to be will be the quality we take into our next day
I love this revelation Joshua and brings great responsibility as how are in our days and our nights.
Yep Rosie, quality is king. Your loving rituals are quite similar to the ones I’ve developed for myself, also enhanced by the presentations of Universal Medicine. They have improved the quality and value of my sleep so that now I need considerably less than I used to. However the timing of sleep also has some scientifically known details, such as the importance of being asleep by 9:00 pm. At this time a couple of brain regions begin a ‘dialogue’ that consolidates experiences and gives us the ability to learn, change, adapt, cope and remember. If we go to bed late, this process doesn’t start later – instead we miss the crucial early stages of the process. No wonder so many people are grumpy, unfocussed, checking out, requiring stimulants, and seem to be ‘stuck’ in patterns of behaviour and living that don’t benefit or progress them, unable to change or grow through life’s experiences. They have not given their brains the quality of sleep it needs at the time it needs to prepare for daily life.
Thank you for your scientific break down of why going to bed by 9 is so supportive for the body. I never knew the details, it just felt right for me. I have always been one to sleep early and wake early as I have liked to live by the night and day cycles, so for me lately its been more about feeling the quality of how I am living and therefore how I am sleeping and vice versa.
Rosie, have you ever been out camping for more than a few days? My partner and I used to take the kids out bush for 3 weeks over summer, and we went feral! We all naturally started to wind down and become gentle before sunset, and were asleep early and awake well before dawn. Just our natural cycles resurfacing easily without all the lights, computers, cars, TVs and stuff to keep us unnaturally awake. It just shows how our bodies really are. We also got a shock when we arrived home, walked into the house to find it so dim we could hardly see. We flicked on the light and hey yukko! We could see the dim orange of tungsten or the icky green of fluorescent globes. Our eyes had readjusted to the natural sunlight, and could now see the distorted colours of artificial light bulbs!
So true Dianne, when people go camping or a tropical island destination, they naturally fall into this rhythm of winding down of an evening and up early for sunrise and they love it. But are unsure as to how to bring that into their every day life.
Thanks Rosie for the reminder of how to put yourself to sleep and that it is quality not quantity.
Love reading this Rosie, I have been putting myself to bed like a baby too and making sure my pyjamas are snug around my ankles, that the top is smooth and not uncomfortably bunched up etc. Having so much more awareness of my body makes it feel more precious and delicious settling myself into just the right amount of blankets, whilst having another one handy in case I wake cold
In the past I have often had sleeps where I have been not quite warm enough but have resisted getting up and putting extra clothing or bedding on. I say ‘sleeps’ but they were mainly not quite sleeps as I was in that half awareness all night so consequently waking in the morning unrested and yes, still cold. How ridiculous is that!
Making the choice to be more aware of my patterns and rhythms with sleep time has resolved that one and I am finding there are many many different loving and nurturing ways to support me to have a supportive restful sleep and also that it is fun to explore those.
Doesn’t it just feel so lovely when you take care of the fine details and really start to care for yourself. For me, I am still enjoying this, like a kid with a new toy.
Very inspiring Rosie. I am observing and experimenting with my sleep and I also found out it is not about the amount of hours, but the the hours before I go to sleep. Little things slip in like yes, still check my mail before sleep, stay up whilst my body already gave the ‘sleep time’ signal or start an activity in a way which is not really unwinding. What my body is asking from me is last workmail check before dinner and then no more checking, no more snacks, little bites after dinner, even feel if I need a tea; feel my body and become honest with myself what signal it gives. Most interesting bit is my body doesn’t have to be tired to go to bed. It is great to go up and get ready, whether it is putting on cream or have a ling(er) shower. So, here I go, new ideas to experiment with. And definitely last but not least: we are students of life, so no rush or hardness, but little steps with a smile.
‘So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep.’ What a gem Rosie. With sleep problems now such a topical issue affecting so many people around the world, this simple wisdom is so relevant and could potentially transform many peoples lives. The healing potential that the practice of self-responsibility offers never ceases to amaze me.
I have found of late that the choice of when to wake up also has a role to play. Sometimes I am woken much earlier than what I would consider the appropriate time to start the day and when I honour this feeling refreshed and ready and live my day from this point on, I do not find myself exhausted at the end of the day.
Conversely, if I have chosen to be governed by the clock and the thoughts I am fed that it would be ridiculous to start the day so early and thus making the choice to override and go back to sleep, I find that I wake at the ‘usual time’ hours later feeling tired and my whole day is lived with a degree of stress, feeling that I am having to catch up on lost time in the day. This invariably builds a cycle of increasing exhaustion – quite contrary to the ‘logic’ I have applied to the notion that quantity beats quality.
I can so relate Greg, when the mind tells you a story which is not really how you are feeling, but it is all based on beliefs around the clock.
I love your blogs Rosie. The changes you have made about your sleep sound lovely- especially tucking yourself in to make sure your really comfy and taking the time to wind down.
I love taking time for myself before I go to sleep. The night is the extension of my day, so how my day is, so is my night. I stopped watching TV and this is a tremendous change. I really take the time to unwind, play some music that supports me, write my diary and then just lie down in bed and fall asleep. I am not that busy anymore with how many hours, I just wake up in the morning. I trust my body will show me how much time it needs.
So true Mariette, how our body pending on our choices will support us and show us the way.
Lots of very practical information here, and also some energetic truths. Having a shower just to wind down rather than to get clean feels lovely, I shall try this. Sorting out any issues with people at the time rather than sleeping with it is something I have found works well, otherwise I feel like it is preventing me from being able to fully let go into deep sleep. Treating myself like a baby when getting ready for bed and sleep is something I could work on, as I tend to just ‘go to bed’ without much ritual or care. Thank you for sharing these really rhythmic ways of being with sleep.
I love the point how you share that you bring yourself to bed like you would bring a baby to bed. The gentleness in this ritual is deeply felt. And it feels amazing to spend the day in this quality of care for yourself.
Re-reading this awesome blog, i’ve been realising it’s in the details and I noticed that the way I got into my bed the other night affected the quality of my sleep, I clearly didn’t take all of me!
Detail is so important, and what is fun is that you can always go further or to another level of detail and care for yourself. What used to be caring to me four years ago is nothing in comparison to the level of care I bring myself today.
Absolutely, thats so true, “God is in the detail”!
A great article Rosie. A wonderful reminder of the purpose of sleep and the value of preparing for sleep with love, self-care and reflection. Before I valued that part of my day and instead of using this time wisely to reflect on how I had lived my day I would avoid what I was feeling and watch TV/movie before bed, sometimes have a drink or ‘zone out’ on the computer which stimulated me immensely and I would wake up feeling tired and drained. Even if I went to bed with frustration or anger or with things that I knew that I was avoiding I would wake up feeling like I had been battling or running in my sleep. No real rest was had and then my choices of food and activities etc. the next day would be off, setting up a momentum that would see me looking forward to go to sleep so I could ‘crash out’ because I was so exhausted. Now I have realised that reflecting on how we feel as we are approaching sleep is a great opportunity to feel how we have lived our day and so presents another moment confirm the love that we are and care for ourselves in the way that we deserve.
A great blog Rosie and a great reminder to take loving care of ourselves all day and even as we wind down at the end of our day.
I feel more and more that sleep time and daytime are very much intertwined – one depends on the quality of the other and vice and versa. It feels like a day has 2 parts : the active part and the sleep part. And despite what some people say, the sleep part is not a waste of time or a dead time. It is a crucial time we can’t live without.
Very true, and both are as important as each other.
Sleep is something I am looking at for me, how to refine the quality not quantity. How I am taking myself to bed is a great start, thank you for your sharing Rosie.
I think everything is a refining in life. We can always find a new way of doing things and then tweak it to suit us best. There is no goal, just lots of playing and seeing what works best for you.
Reading your blog has allowed me to take stock of how far I have come with the quality of sleep I now have.
For most of my life no matter how much sleep I got, it was never enough! I would dread the sound of the alarm and loathe getting out of bed.
After discovering much of the cause of so many of my unhealthy patterns through my work with Universal Medicine, I now have less sleep than ever before with longer work days and enjoy far more quality in all that I do, including sleeping.
Great post thank you Rosie.
Great point Julie, it is great to stop and take stock of how far you have come. Your comment made me think of years ago when I would toss and turn for ages, or smoke marijuana in the hope of it numbing me out so I would pass out.
And yes, then I would wake dazed and tired instead of how I wake now, vital alive and wanting to get out of bed and start my day even if it super early and still dark outside. I no longer allow old thought patterns to say… “its too early”, or worry about what other people may think, I just listen to my body and feel great.
Great blog Rosie and I can very much relate to it. The quality of my sleep depends on how I have been during the day and how I prepare myself for sleep. For me to approach going to bed as being the beginning of the day was a great revelation and now I go to bed feeling that this is the start of the day and not the end.
Rachel that is a wonderful approach – “going to bed as being the beginning of the day” – that is such a wonderful way to go to bed and also a purposeful way as well. I really love it because it showed that everything we do has a deeper meaning – we only have to open ourself up for it.
Beautiful blog, giving ourself time to go to bed and prepare ourselves for our sleep is so important, everything what happens during our day will have an effect
I really related to this blog Rosie – particularly this comment – “it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep”. I find if I have been present with my body throughout the day, making choices that feel true to me and looking after myself that I fall asleep quickly, rest deeply and wake feeling refreshed and vital, ready for the day ahead. If I have left things undone, issues unresolved or been in a lot of momentum throughout the day, I struggle to get to sleep and my sleep is broken and restless.
Thank you Rosie, your blogs are very practical and relatable. Dealing with unresolved issues before sleep is key for me. I find that getting to the bottom of what is going on, or getting to the truth of the matter, releases the issue from my body, even though I may not be able to deal with it until later.
Great exposure of the ideals many of us have around the amount of sleep. I too have discovered that the quality that is in my day affects the quality that is my sleep.
Rosie what you write about sleep is great. What I am also finding is that how I live during the day can affect me dramatically – there have been times I woke up very tired but then took care of myself during the day and by noon I actually feel much better.
It is as if we don’t just recover in our sleep – how we live during the day seems to be just as important.
A great lesson here – to remember how I put my own children to bed with a gentle and loving routine and extend this care to myself.
Rosie I agree we are never too grown up that we can’t ‘tuck’ ourselves in with all the tender loving care we would a tiny person.
Sandra, that is so beautiful!
Putting sleep into true perspective – it’s the quality not the quantity.
Sleep supports our next day – what quality that next day is depends on how I live up until I put myself to bed. Not as I used to do – where sleep was in the way of everything I wanted to do – and I would grudgingly collapse into bed from staying up way too late. Not now and I duly note the quality of my life has changed dramatically.
Thanks Rosie. A lovely sharing of how you wind down from the day and a shower before retiring sounds like a loving way to end the day before getting into the ‘nest’ at night for some ‘quality’ rest.
Thanks for the article Rosie. It’s a great reminder of the importance of sleep and how the way we have been living during the day can impact on the quality of sleep we have.
Thank you Rosie. Yes finding our rhythms for healthy sleep is essential for our well being, and this has been ignored to the point where, in The USA, insufficient sleep has been recognized as a public health epidemic, with scientific papers and statistics showing that people with sleep difeciency are more susceptible to chronic diseases with definitely a reduced quality of life and productivity.
This is one of those pervasive hidden symptoms of the mounting stress and alienation from true balance and harmony in our society, and it is fundamental to building a relationship of self care with ourselves, and as such is one of the basic tenants of reconnection with self as taught by Universal Medicine.
Thank you for your interesting post. I realize I have greatly undervalued the quality of my sleep and now take steps to improve it.
‘I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed.’ Thank you Rosie that’s what I am going to do when I go to my bed. What you have shared is simple and you should say we all know that this is the way to end our day and to give ourselves the so needed loving attention.
Beautiful Annelies – “to end our day and to give ourselves the so needed loving attention” – the more I do this now the better my sleep is and the more rejuvenated I wake up in the morning.
Annelies, it is so simple yet why do we so often avoid what is simple and what we know works for us.
Hi Rosie I completely agree, it is very much about the quality of how I live during the day. These days I find I need a lot less sleep and if fact if I sleep too much it makes me feel tired!
Yes Nicola, I feel that to, if I want to indulge and sleep longer, I actually wake up feeling groggy and tired.
It really is so wonderful all the healing these blogs bring and all the comments. So many miracles.
Great Blog Rosie, thank you. My wind down rhythm definitely needs more attention and awareness, & what else also stood out for me was dealing with issues that had come up with friends and family during the day and not taking them to bed. So completing my day is an important part of my sleep.
So true what you say Rosie, that it is the quality and the way in which we go to bed that determines how well we sleep. When I don’t wind down and have going to bed as yet another thing to check off my list for the day, I can sleep for 7-8 hours and still feel exhausted!
what a gorgeous confirmation and clarity in the process you have (:
I love the way you describe putting yourself to bed like a baby. It sounds delicious and makes me feel that you are treating yourself with such care and preciousness. I have also been experimenting with doing a stocktake of the day and seeing if anything feels incomplete. It is like clearing the deck, putting things in perspective and knowing there will be a time to deal with unresolved things the next day. Sleep is time for me.
Sleep time is for me! I really like that Fiona, its like being really clear with what you will or will not take to bed with you.
No more taking work related things, or dramas to bed.
This is beautiful Rosie, and the perfect inspirational-read just before I pop off to bed.
The points you’ve raised about your quality of sleep being affected by what is unexpressed, emotional issues, drive and push in one’s body and way of doing things… these points are all absolute gold. Workshops could be undertaken on any single point alone, perhaps entire theses…
To look at how everything we live affects our sleep, and thus also everything else in our lives is somewhat mind-boggling, yet at once simple. And it is the simplicity that you’ve brought here – take true care of oneself, and so much can unfold. Awesome, and thank-you.
I used to think that if it were not long and complicated, then it was no good… but really I had that all wrong. The answers seem to be quite obvious in simplicity.
Loads of awesomeness for us here, Rosie, thank you. As I build my evening rhythm more and more and take less emotion etc. on during the day, there is less need to be in bed for ages. For me, the actual hours sleep I need changes here and there and my body more and more simply takes what it needs now, without me having to get too involved in the counting (whereas before I would ‘work out’ how tired I must be if I didn’t get a certain amount of time in bed!). It’s also beautiful what you say about treating yourself with the care you would a child – there is more I can bring for myself here and I appreciate that reflection. Thank you.
Sleep is such an important part of our daily rhythm. Rather than just a time to switch off it is a precious time to allow my body to restore harmony within without any interference from my mind. It has become increasingly clear to me that how I am with myself during the day affects the quality of my sleep and how I am during the day.
I love to re-read this blog this morning, it is just so simple and praticial and makes so much sense.
Marvellous Rosie, I can really go with what you are saying. I know when I won’t be able to sleep well at night when I have left something unresolved during the day, or been stressed or anxious by something and not spoken about it. It also makes a difference as to what I do in the evening and how I prepare for bed, I find that makes an enormous difference to my sleep too.
I also have found that since going to bed earlier, say around 8pm-9pm and getting up earlier, I manage on much less sleep than I used to, so it busts the myth that we all need 8+ hours doesn’t it. Like you say, it’s the quality of the sleep that matters. And it’s no wonder that insomnia seems to be on the increase when there is so much anxiety and stress in the world.
If we all approached sleep in the way Rosie has presented I feel the world would truly be in different place. The state that we fall asleep sets you up for the next day, it has the potential to be a very supportive start to your day that helps then build an opportunity for an even deeper quality of sleep and so the supportive cycle goes on.
Coffee sales would drop and people would be vital and full of energy, instead of tired and grumpy. Imagine!
‘I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed’ I love this quote and will be putting it into action tonight.
I agree – sleep quality, rather than quantity, makes such a difference to how we feel the next day. Like many others have stated above in their comments – I find it is gold when I have taken the time to lovingly prepare myself for bed at night. Thank you Rosie for bringing up this discussion.
Yes Rosie this is so true. When I rest my head on my pillow and say ” You have done all that needs to be done today” I feel my sleep is more gentler on the body and there is no expectations over what should have been completed. The quality is greater and I notice I sleep less but feel more steady when I wake. Great blog in unravelling our ideas and beliefs on how much sleep we should all have.
It is amazing to feel the difference in the morning when I wake up – it all depends on what I’ve done before I go to bed. As you say Rosie the more wind down time, and the more tender care we take as we close our day the more restorative the quality of sleep is. When I haven’t done this I can feel in the morning the part of me that says ah how lovely it will be to choose to take care of me tonight before I go to sleep. It becomes the loveliest thing I can do for myself, not just for the pleasant moments but for the support it brings for the entire next 24 hrs.
Yes, but we can take it to another level too, and that is, when we wake up and realise that yesterday we didn’t really take much care before going to sleep, we can start straight away and bring that care throughout our day, and then into the evening, rather than just keep for at the end of the day.
That’s a great reminder, thanks Rosie.
Rosie, what touches me most is the Self-Love, that shines from between the lines. Sure, the points you make about a healthy sleeping rhythm are gold by itself. But also the gentle way upon you walk with “baby-steps” is so inspiring for any part of daily life.
I used to be proud that I could sleep anywhere and under any circumstances – with the result of always feeling tired in the morning, which I thought was just normal. Since having found a natural rhythm of going to sleep early after winding down, the quality of my sleep has greatly changed. It is beautiful to feel how things are changing and what a difference it makes. The quality in which I bring myself to bed is the foundation for the start of my next day – this has been a gorgeous lesson.
The quality in which I bring myself to bed is the foundation for the start of my next day – this has been a gorgeous lesson. Such a simple truth Michael, and one I have learned too.
Oh my ‘normal’ regarding sleep used to be difficult Michael. Before Universal Medicine, my sleep was poor and it was the reflection of my emotional and anxious state. Since Universal Medicine and the various presentations I have attended and therefore the changes I have introduced in my life, my sleep have never been better and I can honestly say that it is replenishing and I wake up alive and full of purpose.
I am finding that it is more and more important the quality in which I go to bed, as if I have not allowed to prepare for bed or allowed my body to unwind and if I am still in a stimulation mode. I will firstly struggle to go to bed, secondly feel very tired and exhausted the next morning, as I would have had a restless sleep and to keep me functioning for the day I would end up eating foods to keep me awake, which will contain sugar or some form of pick me up. This then gets me into a vicious cycle that’s not supportive. I then have to consciously break these patterns by bringing back the quality in preparing to go to bed
Thank you Rosie. Yes, I have also found that it is not the amount of sleep that I get that brings true rest and vitality to my body but the quality I go to bed with and sleep in. Winding down in the evening is bit of a challenge for me but I have found, as you have described, that little rituals really help me to let go of the days thoughts and assist me to go to sleep much more relaxed without a thousand thoughts going through my head.
Very inspiring blog Rosie. Sleep is such a big issue as so many people seem to have problems with it. There is so much talk about the amount of hours needed to be healthy and energised yet many people are not, and yet very little is discussed about the quality of our sleep and the state we are in before going to sleep, so simple and makes such a difference.
So true Rosemary.
What you wrote in your blog about the ideals and beliefs of how much sleep we need is wonderful and absolute needed. For me it was a great revelation that the way of how I was living before I go to sleep had an effect of the quality of my sleep. That was big – I understood that I am responsible for my quality of sleep!!! And that is beautiful because so I have also a marker of how I life in the day – the quality of my sleep will tell me because it is not the same. So I can ponder on what was happening in the day before and with that can change the way I live in the next day!!!!
Spot on Ester, “the quality of my sleep will tell me” – I like it…. so if we take responsibility for how we live during the day, then yes the quality of our sleep will improve and we will need less of it.
A great blog Rosie – this statement is so true “So I have discovered that it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep.” People need to know how hugely important this in fact is.
Hi Rosie,
I too have found that my quality of sleep depends on the kind of day I’ve lived and how I choose to prepare myself to go to sleep. I love your simple way in which you have showed a way to prepare by winding down, shower and putting yourself like a baby to bed. Just reading it feels so loving. Thanks for this simplicity in the way we can support our sleep cycle.
Lovely to read your blog Rosie and the comments that all build on the fact that it is the quality in which we live that determines the quality of our sleep. I have found that completing my day deliberately and preparing for the next day helps unwind me. For example doing a gentle sweep of the floor, fluffing up the pillows and maybe even preparing lunch or my clothes for the next day. It brings me very much to the moment and completes the day that has been, ready for a new start when i go to bed.
Thank you Rosie, this has been such a great reminder for me regarding winding down – “I try to not get too excited or do activities that are stimulating my nervous system for a few hours before my sleep time.” I can so feel the difference if I allow myself to wind down throughout the evening before going to bed, compared to finishing emails and making big decisions as I’m climbing into bed, which is what I’ve been doing recently…. this always leaves me feeling I need more sleep and will never catch up. In saying that, I have felt a big shift in dealing with things as they arise in the day and not just leaving them for later or another day. I so agree that the quality of our sleep impacts all our decisions and how we live the next day.
Rosie it is so true that all we need are baby steps in everything we do until it becomes second nature. I love the fact that you put yourself to bed like you would a baby. This image contains so much truth I will carry it all day long until I go to bed tonight. A big thank you.
Rosie I loved reading your blog. I know that when I rest my head on the pillow each night the sleep all depends on how well I have interacted with everyone in the day. There is no perfection but a deeper understanding that when I hit the pillow I have said… “me time now and everything else can wait till the morning”.
Great tips. I too have learned through many nights of self imposed experimentation. I recently had my first night of staying up till midnight in many years,(I’m generally in bed by 8pm). This one night effected me on many different levels for nearly a week. The power of a true rejuvenating sleep cannot be understated.
So cool Rosie, I like where you have said “there never is enough time.”
This just breaks the idea of “when there is more time I will do that.” Because unless we make a commitment to ourselves of what we need to do that day and don’t waste any time in between, then we’re making things happen and the time is there. When we push things aside for another ‘time’…. that time was ‘then’… so time is not going to magically appear for us to go back – we have to make a choice to actually do what’s needed, when it’s needed. All to support our sleep I suppose 🙂
I’ve been doing this a lot lately Ariel, “when there is more time I will do that.” and feeling quite overwhelmed in the process because I’m waiting for the right time or enough time to sit down and complete things. I feel like I’m then playing catch up, especially with emails when I flag them and put them to the side for ‘later’. I love how spacious and open I feel when I deal with things as they arise. Definitely makes for a better quality sleep!
Thank You Rosie for the simple but effective tips, much appreciated
Thanks for your sharing Rosie. A beautiful reminder that how we live in our day affects our quality of sleep. I know that if I have unresolved issues, I may end up sleeping a couple of extra hours a day compared to when I feel very clear within myself. I also enjoy winding down in the evening. Although I may still be working, which is quite often the case for me, I will still have an awareness of being super gentle with myself as the hours towards bed time creep up. I love going to bed having an awareness of feeling and being with my body, it’s really lovely. This is a far cry from how I use to go to bed, feeling lonely and wishing that I had someone by my side.
Hi Donna,
Thanks for your comment, it made me think of those times when I would listen to music or try to watch movies or even have another drink to try to get myself to sleep. Now sleep is easy and I look forward to it.
I have just twigged reading your comment Donna, that I can sometimes stay up longer than I feel to, because I don’t want to feel that I am lonely and on my own, rather than connecting to the lovely me and taking her to bed.
Thanks for sharing Jenny, it just goes to show what we do in an attempt to not feel….
Awesome blog Rosie – I have been listening to one of Serge Benhayon’s meditations when going to bed as a wind down but after reading your blog I can feel that that is a bit of a fix for not having lived fully with myself during the day – whoops – I feel to address this more fully now, thank you!!
Whoops is all it takes Shelley! I love your honesty…. In being able to see that for you, that may just be a fix it rather than making changes so there is no need to fix is awesome. With honesty its really easy to make different choices and change your life in a moment.
I have always noticed that if I go to sleep constantly worrying or thinking about an issue, problem or situation I then wake up the next morning and the issue, or problem is right in front of me and has not gone away. This can make me feel annoyed, frustrated, and even more tired or make me rush out of bed. The way I put my self to sleep and wake up the next morning are all reflection on how I have lived during that day and how I have rested during that night.
Simple but powerful message Rosie, thank you
The two things that really struck me was putting myself to bed as if putting a baby to bed and not going to bed with unresolved emotional issues.
I will use your blog Rosie as a reminder to the commitment I have to myself for my nightly ritual, rhythm and flow.
I have always been able to fall asleep with ease almost anywhere, but I am definitely learning that there is better quality of sleep and true restfulness to be enjoyed when I live more lovingly. Thanks for the sharing Rosie you inspire me to be more caring with myself.
A beautifull reminder of how important it is to have a good quality sleep and how it supports us in our everyday live.
I have never had a problem with sleep , but one thing I have noticed recently is that what I eat effects the amount of sleep I need as just lately I have let carbs back into my diet and if I do eat them at the end of the day I need to go to bed a lot earlier. Just say No to roast parsnips!
I too Kevin have felt to eat very light in the evening so I like a main meal around midday to 1 o’clock so the body has an easy wind down to sleep.
To understand sleeping time not as a shut down of all systems and time out from life but as an equally important and “active” part of the day was very new to me when it was introduced by Serge and Natalie Benhayon in various presentations. Nowadays preparing for bedtime, tucking myself lovingly in, feeling my body and breath are a light ritual and even waking up at night is another chance to connect, check in and take care of myself. Sleeping is like holding myself in a cosy, calming and soothing awareness that allows my body to deeply rest and rejuvenate.
Your tenderness is deeply felt here Alex. Beautiful.
I have learned that if I had to choose one part of the day that is most important for me to work on – or the best place to start when I’m out of whack – it’s the wind down time at the end of the day. The way I get ready to sleep, the way I let go of the day (or if I do) makes ALL the difference to the start of the next day, and its waiting there again at the end to remind me its okay to let the day go completely.
Hi Rosie, I can feel the honouring of self and the rhythms and cycles of life in your expression. Reading your words prompted me to remember my mother saying ‘Oh well, just sleep on it and it will be all clear in the morning’ when I had an unresolved issue at bedtime. As you say, its so important to clear issues, so our love and connection remain, sleep quality is not compromised and our children are given every opportunity to sleep ‘well’, ‘revitalise’ and wake to be more of themselves each day.
This is a great reminder. How we live during the day determines the quality of our sleep; and how we sleep determines how we experience our day. Can’t separate one from the other. It takes commitment and love, and sometimes I want to run away from this cycle of self-accountability, yet self-accountability is just another name for power.
Oh Fumiyo, I love your honesty about just wanting to run away from the cycle of self accountability!
And when I do, I am only running away from myself, and only trying to fool me!
Great to read just before I go to sleep, we can’t separate one from the other and indeed it offers great power to understand that we always have a choice to effect how we feel in both our night and day.
Rosie I really needed to read your blog today as it’s a great reminder as I have been waking up tired lately even though I am going to bed early. The tip that really spoke to me was dealing with unresolved issues from day. I feel this is what I will take from the simple wisdom of your experience and more deeply commit to in my own life,
Me too Sharon, I find this is the great thing about The Livingness, it is constantly evolving. There is never an end, just more conversations to be had and more choices to be made.
Rosie I love your rhythm of having a loving ritual before bed like sometimes having a shower, it reminds me just how loving that can feel when its not about simply getting clean or having your hair done properly.
Yes David, I have been feeling to make changes in my evening to support me and reading about Rosie’s loving ritual before bed is very inspiring… it’s the commitment and dedication I love which is lacking in my evening rhythm.
The more that you appreciate yourself and love yourself, the easier it is to commit to yourself as you know you are worth the dedication. Seems easy to me now, but it hasn’t always been that way. It has been a work in progress as I couldn’t have cared less for myself 6 years ago!
My grandmothers mantra was always ‘every hour before 12.00 is worth twice the hours after 12.00’. I now turn the light out and then switch the alarm clock off, sometimes with out any sense of having slept, but rearing to go with energy
I think your grandmother was onto something!
Similar to you Phil, all the elders in my family when I was a child went to bed early saying that the sleep we have before midnight is the most valuable and the most replenishing sleep. So there must be some ancient truth common to us all around sleep. And guess what, I now say the same myself to young people.
“How I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep.” is a revelation…. it’s not something we think about in terms of getting a good nights rest, but completely makes sense when thought about. I have also experienced that by paying attention to how I am in the day will determine the quality I will sleep with during the night.
Rosie I love how practical you’ve made your blog and how loving your bed-time routine is. I love that you write about ‘baby steps.’ I am learning about the impact on the quality of my sleep with regard to whether I feel I’ve completed my day or not – having things I have wanted to complete but haven’t can cause restless nights of worry.
I now look to see what needs completing and not procrastinating about these tasks during the day in preparation for going to bed feeling my day is complete which is a lovely snug feeling.
The more I accept and love myself the more I don’t need to procrastinate or worry about what I am doing the next day – I am enough. If there are lots of things undone, I am learning to put the love I have for myself first by seeing how this came to be and what needs to change, and then putting all that aside to be with myself and sleep. It’s real baby steps at the moment but that’s ok.
So true, I definitely relate to how it is the way we wind down before bed that is more important than the actually quantity of sleep we receive. Over time, I have also learnt not to be idealistic about it. Sometimes, after a hard day, I can feel that I need more sleep, but always it is better if I go to bed earlier than normal in these cases, rather than try to add more sleep onto the end of the night. I have found that just going to bed 1/2 hour earlier when I am tired does so much more for me than sleeping in an extra hour in the morning.
Thank you Rosie – although I know about this all, reading it from you is really inspiring!
Yes sleep is so important and it is great to ponder a little deeper what gives us a good sleep. When I wake up in the morning I nominate for myself what are the reasons that I feel either great or not so great. They can vary as you describe in your blog. This increases my awareness of what supports me and what doesn’t and it motivates me as well, because I start to relate my action or non-action to the way I actually feel in the next day.
Wouldn’t it be amazing to do some sleep studies with people who have difficulty sleeping for whatever reason and have them follow these tips for a while… just to see what happens!
That’s a great idea.. simple sleep study.
Some may not like it though, as there seems to be a massive industry around sleep what with all the books, talks and medications….
Very true Rosie, my feeling is many of us have an issue with bringing simplicity into our lives.
Yes Aimee, and do we avoid simplicity because we are identified with how complex we can create things to be?
I agree Heather it would be very interesting indeed, and I’m sure the results would be miraculous.
I have also noticed how I require less sleep, as the quality of the sleep improves. It is an interesting observation and certainly brings into question the standard rules around needing 8hrs sleep per day.
That 8 hour sleep belief still creeps in sometimes…. and I can almost hear myself telling myself I am going to be tired because I didn’t have the 8 hours… but the more and more I work on the quality, the more I am able to feel that it is not true. I can actually live on a lot less sleep.
What a lovely way to think of it – by putting yourself to bed as if you were a baby. I know how much care I take tucking my child in, but don’t do the same for myself. I find it strange that we are able to care for others with so much more ease but with so many of us it just simply isn’t part of our rhythm to care for ourselves. Can’t wait to go to bed tonight!
I’ve had sleep problems for more than twenty years and twenty years of exhausted days. I would put off going to bed because I knew that I would be awake for most of the night. Now I go to bed early when I’m tired rather than exhausted. Rosie, I love the way you prepare yourself for sleep and put yourself “to bed as if you are putting a baby to bed”. It feels comforting and self nurturing, I might add a lullaby and a self hug tonight.
This is such a lovely article, thank you Rosie. Sometimes I find when I have put myself to bed with gentle loving care that I hold my own hand a while, feeling how delicate and soft it is.. this is such a tender moment to just be with me.
How many of us believed that going to sleep was easy as flicking the bedroom light switch off but instead end up tossing and turning with eyes wide open. Never did we know that there is a rhythm and a way to prepare ourselves for a most restful sleep. The ‘quality of sleep’ cannot be separated from the ‘quality in which we choose to live in’. Everything is connected.
That is the key, everything is connected!
This is a question I have been thinking about lately. I can completely relate. I find that the depth of my sleep is determined by how I take myself to bed. And it is so much yummier to enjoy the evening, a certain ritual and a wind down time. I have realised lately that there is a lack of appreciation for how i feel when i wake up. A moment to stop and feel my body’s vitality, warmth and stillness and to begin the day with this, rather than fear “what if I don’t have enough energy for the day”.
I know that fear … its an old voice in my head that tries to make me think I am tired when really I am not.
Awesome reminders and pointers on getting rest-full nights sleep Rosie.
Especially the note on not going to bed with undealt with issues that we then have to process all night, as I have done that many times.
What I experimented with the other night, was to leave an issue where it was, and it was not comfortable and definitely undealt with, but in the moment, what felt right for me, was to let it be, to not go into emotion or into trying to fix the situation.
I guess in someways I just accepted things as they were and chose to support my body by sleeping first and not stay up late. It was a great experiment as I was able to work with the issue in the morning, and I did sleep well.
There really is no right or wrong way, just the way that feels best for your body at that given moment.
I too Rosie tend to not go to bed with unfinished issues and feel that the day is complete with whatever happened. However, if there is an unfinished issue, then the key is acceptance of the issue as it is, let it be a little, go to bed for the night and return to it the following day. It usually works.
That is true, as we can’t fix everything, and with acceptance we can surrender to how things are and then not go to sleep full of tension.
Yes exactly, I had that experience last night too, where the unresolved issue could not be resolved, and I also left it where it was, clearly communicating that now was time for the body to rest and it will be addressed again in the morning. This felt right and I did sleep well, the body is rested and the issue is now being addressed not from tiredness but from a rested place.
A timely reminder that we need to take responsibility for how we are in every moment of the day as this impacts on everything including how we sleep. It is true what you say that it is not how much sleep but the quality of sleep that is important.
Thank you for sharing Rosie. Having read your blog, I realise there is still more room for me to connect more at bedtime, to really feel the lovely support I can give my body to have a truly restful sleep.
Great blog Rosie’. I used to go to bed exhausted late at night and woke up feeling still tired and moody. I didn’t realise it was a reflection of how I was living each day and how I put myself to bed that resulted in how I would be feeling the next day. Now I have learnt to listen to my body and go to bed early and clean up and get ready for bed in a gentle and loving way. I now have less sleep in terms of hours but I feel revitalised. It’s the quality not quantity.
So very true Rosie, I love the part of putting yourself to bed as you would a baby, this I will take heed of as it feels very loving. I have been playing with how much sleep I really need lately and have realised that I use sleep as a way to escape or delay. Allowing thoughts to determine when I need to sleep instead of feeling my body.
Great post Rosie. I know there have been times I’ve gone to bed because it’s “the” time, but am not actually tired. Or am I. Within 5 minutes of laying my head on the pillow, I’m out like a light. My body had been telling me it’s time but I wasn’t listening.
I used to think I needed more sleep when I woke feeling tired in the morning, and couldn’t work it out. Now I know, as you’ve so clearly said here Rosie, how we sleep is determined by how we are during the day, how we prepare ourselves for bed and whether we take unresolved conversations and issues with us to bed. For me now, it’s not the number of hours I sleep but the quality of those hours…and the quality is dependant on how I’ve been with myself and others during my day.
I find the quality of my sleep is so unbelievably affected by how my day was and also how I go to bed. I often just get in, and usually spend an hour on my phone catching up on social media or watch a show on my ipad. When I don’t do this, and actually take the time to properly prepare for myself for my sleep, I have a much more restful sleep.
I agree Rosie…I have found that the choices I make during the day and how I wind down make all the difference to the quality of my sleep and therefore how refreshed I wake up the next morning. If I don’t have a good quality sleep it really affects my day and feels awful. If I take an unresolved issue to bed with me then I am guaranteeing a drop in the quality of my sleep…so it always serves me to deal with any issues as quick as possible so they don’t stay in my body niggling away.
A beautiful reminder of the importance of honouring ourselves in every way. This is another example of being caring and loving, really honouring what our body is telling us. I know if I eat late, then I can struggle to fully digest what I have eaten, and this then negatively affects my quality of sleep.
I always thought that it was my rhythm to get up late and go to bed very late and that was simply why I was so tired and had difficulties to start my day when I had to get up early.
When starting to change my life and especially when beginning to allow my body to wind down before I went to bed and to have a more loving approach towards me during the day, my rhythm changed gradually.
Now I go to bed early as I feel that the day is complete and usually wake up early – most of the days fresh and relaxed like after a gorgeous holiday with myself. I never would have believed that this might be possible.
Prior to Universal Medicine I had not given much thought to sleep. I had always been someone who liked to go to bed early. However even though I preferred to go to sleep early I would still stay up later thinking that I was boring if I went to bed early. Thinking back to this time I can see my body was on to it but I let myself think otherwise because of what I saw others around me doing.
Such a beautifully simple example of self-care / self-love and how such simple loving acts have a profound impact on our overall well-being.
So simple and so true and it applies to so many other areas of life too.
What came to mind is food…. if you have good quality food, you don’t need to eat as much.
Lovely blog to read just before going to sleep! I love how you share the things you now do that support you having a truly restful sleep. I am going to put myself to bed with very much care today, already have my hot water bottle under the sheets!
It’s my bed time also and I know there are much more loving choices that I can make and work on everyday.
I was always very focused on the amount of hours of sleep, getting really nervous if I would not get the famous 9 hours. More and more I have come to understand that it is about the quality of my sleep and indeed, the way I go to bed. The other day I had some emotional issue that was still playing out and I could tell by my sleep how this has an effect. I felt a lot of tension and I was awake in the middle of the night. Normally I sleep like a baby so this was a good learning moment. And nowadays I am sleeping less hours and it just feels great. So I go for the quality and not the quantity!
Getting sleepy, in a good way…while I was reading it. Lovely to read of what supports you to sleep well. I have read this article before and it is lovely in its simplicity and clarity. I still struggle with sleep and I think this is predominately due to my not committing to getting myself ready for sleep as I would any other part of my day. I really notice how different I feel when I wake after a good restorative sleep and this is in large due to how I went to bed.
I deserve to love and care for myself fully, and it’s something that I had never really taken time to do. We often give this much care to others and our children but forget to also give that same care and dedication to ourselves’. A lovely reminder Rosie and something I feel many will relate too (I certainly do), as we get caught up in the busyness of life and the never ending to-do list… we forget about taking care of ourselves.
I have got into a lovely rhythm of winding down before bed, simply by switching myself from any stimulation, regardless of how long my day has been. This has allowed me to be steady in my day. So now it is obvious, if I am wired when I am in bed, to help me reflect quickly on how my day was for me to end up in this state. Often due to something I have eaten, or I have gone into reaction during a conversation.
Awesome blog Rosie. Often when I wake up I feel tired, and sometimes it can even feel like I haven’t slept at all! Thank you for bringing my awareness to the fact that the way I live leading up to when I go to sleep can affect the quality of my night.
This is such an inspiring and beautiful blog, thank you Rosie. For a long time i have had the belief that i needed 8 to 9 hours sleep. I was always focused on the amount of hours of sleep, and never on the quality. For some time now, step by step, i have let go of this belief and i have looked into how i go to bed in the evening, what time i go to sleep and how i prepare myself for the night. How my day is, so is my night, i have come to understand. For me the night/sleep is just as important as my day, as the two of them are linked. I have made the choice to go to bed at 9:00pm, to take the time and to really allow myself to unwind from the day. I sleep less hours now and it feels great. For me the quality of my sleep has to do with how i live during the day.
Thank you Rosie I enjoyed re-reading your blog. I have noticed that I am getting to bed later than I normally would and how this in-itself, if done regularly, can affect the quality of my sleep. My intention is to be in bed much earlier but I manage to find little things to distract me and 2 hours later I am not in bed, when I felt my body was telling me to be. When I wake up I can feel a tiredness from an incomplete sleep and I can be a little distracted as I get ready for the morning. As I write this, I can feel that I have taken my distractions of the previous night over with me into the morning…something for me to look at over the coming days. i love the feeling when I wake up totally fresh and ready for the day and how easy my day can be when this happens, so for me it is worth looking at anything that does not allow me to have a complete and regenerative nights sleep.
I love your simple and profound blog, Rosie. I keep realizing more and more that the new day, actually starts the night before, with how I put myself to bed. I love and recongnize your suggestions. A big one for me I really got to feel recently when I noticed a pattern: how different the quality of my sleep was after watching television just before going to bed. It had a very negative impact. The reason for watching television was important as well. I discovered the less I had appreciated myself during the day, the more I needed a reward at night, by watching something on television and also, if I felt my body during the day/was present in my body, I needed less ‘finally time for me’ in the evening in front of the t.v.
I can so relate Monika and this is a great pattern or habit you expose for many: ‘The reason for watching television was important as well. I discovered the less I had appreciated myself during the day, the more I needed a reward at night, by watching something on television and also, if I felt my body during the day/was present in my body, I needed less ‘finally time for me’ in the evening in front of the t.v.’
The new day starting the night before – YES! And I laughed at your observation of seeing TV as a reward – so true and so crazy.
This is a great article Rosie, I loved reading about how you wind down in the evenings before bed and then lovingly put yourself to bed, it is so true that we would do this for our children but not necessarily for ourselves. I also found it very inspiring to read, ‘I have committed to communicating with my family and loved ones so that if anything comes up, it can be dealt with there and then before I go to sleep, rather than brushed under the carpet to be dealt with when there is time. There is never enough time and all these issues just keep building on each other until the pile is massive and much harder to deal with.’
Rosie, thank you for expressing on such an important topic. Anxiousness and nervous energy have been poisoning my sleep for decades until I came across Universal Medicine. Although I was in bed well before midnight, most nights I did not sleep well and I just thought that I was a person who had a sleep problem – at best my sleep would be agitated and at worst I would suffer from insomnia. How things have changed as I continue to deepen my self love and self care ! Now I prepare for my sleep by winding down and I am in generally in bed by 9. I am also waking earlier as my level of care for myself increases. My sleep has never been so good as the way I live determines the quality of my sleep.
This has been my experience as well. Waking up with a mind racing already 5-10 tasks into the day, before I had even gotten out of bed and finding it hard to fall asleep was very normal for me. Like Rosie and you, I also began to find a new way to care for myself and how I am in the day and before going to bed. It has been a revolution in my energy levels to say the least.
Your shared ‘solutions’ are essential, the ‘quality’ of sleep is paramount to feeling restored for the next day. Great article Rosie
Rosie. Its not the quantity of sleep you get, but the quality of sleep, that you will awake from refreshed and ready for a new day.
Great blog Rosie thank you. All my life I used bed and sleep as a way to fix things and often as a place to escape life. Lying in bed overthinking things or simply hiding away. My relationship with sleep has changed dramatically over the last couple of years. I realised that I never truly let the day go, but brought the day with me to bed. Never surrendering enough to let my body or nervous system truly rest, so as to give my body the chance to do the important work of healing and regeneration. I love how you share that the quality of our sleep is connected to the quality of the day lived. I am feeling in my body how going to bed at night is actually the start of my day. My new day starts at 9pm as the quality of how i rest is the foundation for the next twenty four hours. Connecting to this rhythm is an amazing support for my daily living,
I used to do the same Anne-Marie, “using sleep as a way to fix things and often as a place to escape life. Lying in bed overthinking things or simply hiding away.” Sometimes I didn’t feel anymore refreshed after nine hours or a long lie in. I would look longingly at my bed the minute I got out as I couldn’t wait to get back in. It has been a revelation through the presentations of Universal Medicine that what we live in the day will determine the quality of sleep we will have. it makes so much common sense now I have connected to this awareness. I now pay attention to how I am in the day and prepare a full wind down before going to bed and this has made a tremendous difference to the quality of sleep I receive. Rather than looking longingly back at my bed when I wake up I now get up and out with full commitment to the day ahead!
Love it Rachel and Anne-Marie, i’m inspired, thank you.
Yes Anne-Marie, I can relate to instances in the past where I never truly let the day go, with the end result that my body was still processing the day at night instead of truly surrendering and healing as I was sleeping. As a consequence I would wake not being refreshed and ready for the day ahead.
I recently had my eyes opened (at an amazing Serge Benhayon talk) to the fact that we don’t need to have a sense of moving forward in our sleep because tomorrow simply comes to us, if we let it. What you say here about surrender is resonating with me and really supportive. Thank you.
It just goes to show having read this blog and a lot of it’s comments – that the ‘recommended’ amount of sleep is not tailored to everyone. I have found that growing up with the ‘recommended’ amount often left me in the morning doubting what I felt – I believed that I needed that much sleep when really I felt rested on less. Having let go of how much sleep I ‘think’ I need (as dictated by an outer source), I find my sleep routine has drastically improved.
If I have had a hectic day, going to bed stressed etc I wake up feeling I need more sleep. Yet when I take the time to make sure I am prepared to sleep, not too excited or stimulated I sleep less and I feel less tired in the morning. If I take myself to sleep in a good space, wake up early then go back to sleep thinking that it’s too early to get up the second time I come to wake I feel exhausted! It just shows me that quantity does not necessarily equate to quality when it comes to sleep.
Well said Leigh, I’ve also noticed that quantity does not always equate to the quality of sleep. Sometimes I find that if I stay up late, whatever I stay up late to do, e.g. homework, writing etc., is actually a lot easier to do in the morning, and with a clear mind the work is often a million times better as well!
How beautiful Kevin and what a lovely imprint for your daughter to take forward in her life and share
I have recently started developing a new way of preparing for sleep, one night I will read my daughter a story and tuck her in bed and the next night she reads me a story and tucks me in. It’s still in the development stage as I said but I can see a new level of tenderness happening and perhaps a better quality of sleep..
That is so lovely Kevin . Thank you for sharing.
This is an amazing way to connect to your daughter Kevin. A tenderness with her Dad that she will never forget.
What a beautiful sharing Kevin, i am sure your daughter must llove tucking you into bed.
That is awesome Kevin, what beautiful moments in time you are creating and sweet memories for your daughter. My daughter and I have often done this. She used to resist going to bed early and there are times when I just need to go to sleep so she tucks me in and then makes her own choices.
I love reading your article Rosie. I find it inspiring. What you say about no perfection and baby steps is key, otherwise I find I set myself goals and try to get it perfect and then it feels like I’ve failed if it doesn’t work.
I find that if I get hooked into the drama at work I find it difficult to switch off and then I will keep waking up in the night. I never have a problem falling asleep just staying asleep.
I have also found that if I sleep past 5am I always feel more tired and develop a headache during the morning and feel fuzzy headed – even if I am exhausted, sleeping in never seems to help. Great topic Rosie.
Thank you all for your comments.. after reading them all, I felt what we have here is a study… a study of our selves and our quality of sleep. It would be interesting to research how putting ourselves to sleep gently and lovingly as we would with a baby, has an effect on our next day or being aware of how we live our day can effect how we then sleep. I don’t think there is an end goal, but perhaps a refinement… constantly feeling into what our own body needs as it won’t be the same for anyone else, but from each other we can learn so much and be inspired.
Rosie, I have just revisited your blog and wanted to share that I take more notice and make more adjustments to the way I am living from the beginning of my day to support the quality of my sleep at the end of my day as a result of reading your inspiring blog and all the comments that followed. Thank you.
Mary I love how you have described your going-to-bed time to be like that of your children when they were young. It makes so much sense. If we can ensure to the best of our ability a good night’s sleep for our children why not for ourselves? I love the idea of treating myself with the same level of care and love as a child. I have, for a long time felt that to have a bath before bed would be so lovely and yet I rarely remember to do it. I feel it’s time to change that now. Very inspiring. Thank you.
Thank you for this awesome blog Rosie – so simple and real. It is so true that when we have unresolved issues in our day and take them to bed, it is sure to impact our sleep and it’s quality. No amount of hours of sleep can resolve this. Although it can seem so – but actually what we can sometimes do is sleep more to numb ourselves so we don’t have to feel our feelings and address the situation(s) at hand.
The word ‘wired’ is good description of how I can feel if I don’t give myself time to wind down and don’t deal with issues as they come up in the day. Sleeping well does have such a huge impact on how I live the next day. My sense of welling being, patience and vitality are all much more present and support me in my day if I sleep well.
When I look back on how and what my days used to involve no wonder I thought i needed at least 8 hours sleep, because I did and probably needed some more. When I started to look at what foods I ate and beverages I consumed then, I realised that I couldn’t do it any longer as it all had a major impact on how I slept and felt in general. Before I was inspired by Universal Medicine I had stopped drinking coffee and was only drinking decafe – this was a massive shift in the quality of sleep I had. But what I really love about this development of myself and understanding and listening to what my body is actually telling me is – I know this already, I just need to listen. Extremely empowering.
This is such a powerful comment Rosie – “I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed”, we would never put a baby to bed in the way that many put themselves to bed, but why can’t we treat ourselves in a similar way, or with the same delicacy?
The number of hours used to be more important than the quality of my sleep. How different now, I no longer make or take phone calls or go online after 6pm. Although, the evenings when guests stay, challenge me at times, to stay with me and honour how I am feeling if I am tired and not get into deep conversations, otherwise the thoughts continue into my ‘sleep time’. I am then more likely to wake a couple of hours later and my restorative sleep is lost.
Thank you for such a super simple yet powerful blog Rosie. The amount of times I’ve gone to sleep and woke up feeling tired, or sometimes even worse than I did when I went to sleep, are countless and all because I didn’t deal with what was going on before I went to sleep
Me too Anna….
A lovely blog Rosie! I decided a while ago to take my principal meal at mid-day instead of having a large supper. This has improved my sleep quality immensely!
What I am finding is when I work until my evening meal time and do not give myself some time to unwind or enough time to prepare for my evening meal, my bed time rhythm becomes out of balance, which In turn effects my sleep rhythm. What I am finding if I create moments just to be with me before my evening meal, it really supports my bed time and sleep rhythm.
It’s a common misconception that it’s about the time we spend sleeping. It’s great through your own experimentation you have come to realize the important factor is the quality of the sleep, the way you go to bed, the way you lay down with yourself, the clarity you take with you to rest. These are the important factors that ensure a good nights sleep, one where you wake up feeling ready for whatever may be coming your way that day.
This is really lovely, as I was reading it felt really nurturing. I still find that I go to bed not fully winding down, as you say ‘baby steps’. I loved what you shared here “When I do go to bed, I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed. I really take the time to get comfortable, so that my body feels fully supported”.
Vicky it is true as we read it does feel really nurturing, it’s shows how important it is to wind down properly when going to bed. I find that I am not giving myself enough time to go as deep as I could, so just bringing awareness to this and possibly pondering how better I can support myself.
Really well written Rosie, indeed we can’t just keep relying on the hours we sleep to fix our tired state.
Your article raises significant points Rosie, not least that the awareness of how we live our day affects the quality of sleep. Your ‘changes to sleep’ are inspiring….’I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed’… just lovely, thank you for sharing, I shall be trying that tonight!
Great blog on sleep Rosie, and your point that quality is more significant than the quantity when it comes to a good night’s sleep. I’ve found experimenting really helpful too, by relating to the way I go to sleep, the type of sleep I have and the feeling in my body when I wake up, all let me know the quality of the previous day I just lived.
Rereading this, it is a great reminder to honour the ritual and rhythm of preparing to sleep. And with that I am going to take a little more time in going to sleep now, I was just going to flop into bed.. but will do so differently, with this reminder of how important it is!
So many loving practical comments here, thank you everyone. Let me add one presented to me by a Universal Medicine practitioner after I had related having a night of tossing and turning. Sure, we talked about preparing for sleep and how I had lived my day, but he asked me to consider my response to being in bed and not asleep. Was I criticising myself for not giving my body the chance to clear by being awake building up scenarios of how the following day would be after so little sleep or looking at the clock to know how long I hadn’t been asleep?. Generally getting into a state that wouldn’t promote sleep about the fact I wasn’t asleep!!! He asked what would happen if I just celebrated that I was in bed, safe and warm and would at some time fall asleep.
So on nights when sleep doesn’t come immediately, for whatever reason. now I take that time to just be with me knowing that yes, sleep always does come at sometime. Thank you, yet again, Universal Medicine for the wisdom that your practitioners offer us.
Great to compare putting yourself to bed as though you were putting a baby to bed. How poignant to highlight how we would put another to bed with care and tenderness with a supportive routine and love and so often not ourselves. Why not as you suggest, consider finding our own routine for a good nights sleep and consider treating ourselves with the same care we would with someone else. Thank you.
Great sharing Samantha, it’s good to ponder on why I have not been taking as much care when I put myself to bed as I would a baby or child. Real eye opener, something for me to look at.
Hi Rosie, this is really beautiful and inspiring, thank you.
I absolutely love sleep more than ever and it is quality these days rather than the quantity. I love putting my daughter to bed, reading her a story then moseying off and putting myself to bed (Rosie style). I really do sleep like a baby.
I agree Kevin, it is the quality which comes from how I prepare for sleep as opposed to the quantity. Less is often more for me if the quality is right.
Kevin, so lovely to read your response and so nice to feel how you take the time for your daughter, but also take the time for yourself. What an awesome inspiration you therefore are for your daughter.
Great Comment Kevin & I’m sure your daughter loves it as much as you do. I remember being a little girl and we would not go to sleep until our parents would come and say goodnight. Its one of those special moments shared from child to parent and parent to child.
“I deserve to love and care for myself fully, and it’s something that I had never really taken time to do. We often give this much care to others and our children but forget to also give that same care and dedication to ourselves.”
An awesome quote to remember and even more awesome to live taking loving care of ourselves. Thank you Rosie.
Yes I agree Beverley. I have been learning to fully commit to that, something I used to do for others first, whilst putting myself at the bottom of the list… “I deserve to love and care for myself fully, and it’s something that I had never really taken time to do. We often give this much care to others and our children but forget to also give that same care and dedication to ourselves.” How important is it to truly love and care for ourselves first.
I love going to bed early. My body is so grateful. And I too am finding that the more I take care of myself during the day the better my quality of sleep, and therefore I need less. Anything that previously I may have done in the evening can get done early in the morning when my energy is fresh and I am more alert and productive. Thank you for sharing Rosie.
Totally agree Rebecca I also love going to bed early and then waking up in the very early hours of the morning to do it all over again but with more love.
Hi Rosie. I don’t usually have a shower before bed, but I have been inspired by your article to experiment with this, thank you.
This is so true Rosie. I completely relate to sometimes having eight hours sleep but somehow feeling more tired after that then some days when I have had 4-5. The difference is the quality as you very clearly put it and that means everything that has happened in the day up to the point when you go to bed and sleep. A great reminder of this.
Rosie it is so true, the quality in which we go to bed is what I have experienced which makes a big difference in my sleep, if my quality is not so loving, then I find I am more tired and need to sleep longer. If my quality is loving, then I find I have a great sleep and my body automatically wakes me up and I find the duration of my sleep is less.
what a great blog Rosie, I love the practicalities you shared and how our sleep reflects the way we have lived during the day.
Thanks Rosie. If I get anxious or over involved with my work I find it hard to switch off and then like you say, the quality of sleep is not there and I wake up exhausted. I also find that if I am in reaction in the day, I am more likely to eat something when I am not hungry and then I am heavier when I go to bed which contributes to a poor nights sleep. So I agree the winding down before bedtime is very beneficial to the quality of sleep.
Hi Rosie, me again! Going to bed early is still something I am struggling to choose for myself….. So many things get in the way it seems! Although last night I managed 10pm but had been with my emails directly before and so my head was spinning… Consequently I was still awake at half past midnight and today I have been a zombie… So this just confirms what you say about the quality we are in when we get into bed being oh so important as far as feeling well rested the next day. And this could be said for life in general – the quality in which we do everything we do, counts for everything!
HI Rachael,
One of the things that I had to look at, when changing my sleep time was why do I put the other things in life as more important than me and my rhythm.
I know that when I take care of me first and foremost which includes my sleep time, how it has an effect on everything else..I know that nothing is more important.. no email or drama should be given priority.
It has taken a while to really appreciate myself enough to choose me first.. but well worth it.
And also, when we do make a choice that doesn’t feel great, not to go into beating ourselves up about it, but rather see it as a timely reminder and a good lesson to learn from and keep it simple.
Absolutely Rosie, I can see how often I put other things, people before cherishing my own natural rhythm and that there is a difference between adjusting my rhythm because that is what is needed versus overriding what I feel needs to happen.
Rosie. Lovely blog and your preparations before getting ready for bed.
I used to be a late bedder and would feel exhausted the following morning. I now go to bed a lot earlier, and get up feeling refreshed to meet what the day will bring. Have stopped thinking I must do this or that before bed.
We need to stop pushing ourselves and learn to be gentle more with our way of living.
I used to think I needed at least 8 hours sleep and if I didn’t I wouldn’t function very well with out it. I started to go to bed earlier which has had an amazing effect on how I feel. As you said, I also made changes in the way I did things on a practical level, not being so hard on myself and respectful of myself and others during the day. These have all contributed to a deeper quality of rest while sleeping and I don’t need as much as I did before.
Fantastic blog! Thank you for sharing
This is great Rosie thank you. I remember starting my day feeling tired and needing a cup of tea (milk one sugar) to get me going. Since taking more loving care of myself and choosing to approach life with a more gentle way of being (dropping the rushing and the dramas) I have found my rest is rejuvenating and the tea with milk and sugar no longer required.
Yes Beverley, this is an awesome comment. No one else is going to deeply look after yourself except for you – which is what I have come to understand and realise. I was desperately seeking nurturing from others, but with a facade of playing it cool and it didn’t matter. Once I decided to seek the truth of needing someone else to do it for me… then I came to the realization that, I am the one who can and actually wants to nurture me. I never would of thought that it had so many levels to it and how extremely joyful it is to do. Highly recommend it!
Hi Rosie, I love the bit about putting yourself to bed as though you were a baby that is just so expressive it feels soft, warm and gentle. I have learnt that there is a cut off point for certain foods in relation to sleeping well, some things either speed up my metabolism like fruit making me racy or sit too heavily so I now eat a light meal in the evening. This is something I realised from listening to Serge Benhayon talk about the effects of food on the body and listening to what feels right for your body since we are all slightly different, and taking that wisdom and then really feeling what my body felt like after eating. Universal Medicine presentations really bring such a no-nonsense, common sense wisdom that I often think why didn’t I think of that before it’s so obvious now!
A great reminder that it’s how we’ve been living our day that affects our quality of sleep and it’s how we prepare for sleep that can enhance it.
Spot on, it isn’t the volume but the quality. But to really feel that is to start to make the small changes you mention and cherish yourself as that baby your describe putting to bed. I feel that quality in your blog, in the way you have written that quality of cherishing, taking time, accepting. I am developing this quality in how I do what I do, it is so easy to get caught up in the rush and to do list.
I love your point about committing to talking to your family as there is never time to deal with it ‘later’ or brush it under the carpet as you said it only builds up, and that is exhausting! Great blog and inspiration thanks Rosie.
So true Vanessa, I find if I get caught up in the rushing and the doing then I do not create any space to care for me and a vicious cycle builds with poor quality sleep, being tired the next day and so on. In contrast, I find that if I appreciate how amazing it feels to gently blow dry my hair or have a relaxing bath (just for me) then I take myself to bed in a completely different way and instead this quality builds.
I still find I sometimes hold onto an old belief of mine that I need eight hours sleep a night, and then I can get into a panic which makes everything worse, and then I do feel tired all the next day. However, as I change the quality of the way I live my days I am finding I need less sleep. When I wake up in the morning, if I linger in bed I feel sleepy and grotty when I get up, whereas if I follow my body’s natural rhythm and get up when I wake up then I feel full of life and ready for the day. Thank you Rosie, for sharing your experience in such a simple and honest way.
That is so true.
A beautiful blog, I can completely relate to this. The quality in which we go to bed says it all.
I really loved reading this blog, because one of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt – as inspired by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon – one of my many role models Bina Pattel – Is that my day is my night.
If I have a rough day, chances are I’ll have a rough night. Tossing and turning and finding it very difficult to fall asleep.
This is a very obvious pattern I’ve noticed. As you say, if I go to bed with unresolved issues or without taking the time to slow down into the sleep – the sleep’s quality will suffer. I’ve found a “wind down” routine is so important to put an end to one day in preparation for the next.
It’s also an awesome opportunity after showers and baths to use up my body lotions I’ve neglected for so long – after all, I deserve to feel pampered.
It’s true Cheryl, I have also noticed the calmer my day the better the nights rest, the more I have been in anxiousness and nervous energy the lesser quality sleep I have that night.
If I have had a stressful or anxious day, what I have found has supported me enormously to come back to harmony in the body so that I don’t take this stress into my sleep – is Esoteric Yoga…a wonderful modality that allows me to stop any momentums I have chosen in my day and to bring me back to connect to the innate stillness within. A truly superb way to wind down and come back to me.
Yes , I agree Marika I have found esoteric yoga to be so beneficial in helping me unwind from a stressful or very busy day. It allows me to return to my inner stillness and feel the real me again.
Me too, esoteric yoga has been a great support. I can also see how I at times I avoid the esoteric yoga as I know it will expose my raciness and once exposed I will have to take responsibility and do something differently.
Yes I agree Cheryl, its important to feel into where we are at at the end of the day. Going to bed with unresolved issues can only cause an unrestful sleep time. It is important to feel into what has occurred during the day and come back to yourself before you go to sleep. I can really feel the difference when I do this and when I do not.
I would just love this simple perspective on sleep to be shared with everyone. It has certainly brought me into accountability and been very empowering for me to understand that how we live our day affects our night’s sleep. And how important this part of our 24 hr day is as it rolls into the next one and the next and so on!
Something I enjoy doing is lovingly airing and then making my bed every day. It feels lovely to climb into at night, with the duvet (doona) all fluffed up, very welcoming and conducive to a good night’s sleep. I have found that the quality of sleep I get is directly related to what I’ve been eating and how I’ve been during the day as well as any activity I engage in a few hours before I sleep, so it is a great marker for how I am living.
This is a very important point Carmel. The care we take in looking after and preparing our beds seems to pay dividends in terms of sleep quality. I have noticed that I sleep better and go to sleep quicker after we have put fresh clean bedding on the bed and shaken up the quilt!
A great reminder Carmel that the quality of how we leave something is exactly what we come back to.
Thanks for sharing Fiona, I have the same, if I go to bed with unresolved emotional issues, I tend to wake more often, and will not be able to get back to sleep as the thoughts go over and over. It is no wonder I then wake up feeling exhausted no matter how many hours sleep I have had.
It is an interesting subject, as so many people have sleep issues, but I wonder how much study or observation goes into how each person is living during their day. I guess we are that study right here!
Yes, I agree, it seems to me that all the sleep studies I have heard about are focused on the quality of the sleep itself without any consideration for the behaviour and patterns leading up to the sleep. We are a study which is constantly evolving, each one of use with our own trials and experiments and from them we have found common ground on what impacts the quality of our sleep and it certainly starts long before we go to bed.
Perphaps it is now time for someone to do a study, even just from the results on this blog. Its real live evidence right here.
I find that the way I have been living during the day impacts on how I sleep. If I have been in reaction or emotional I notice I may struggle to get to sleep or my sleep becomes less restful, but if I am steady and gentle with myself throughout the day then I find my sleep is much yummier and I wake up feeling rested and ready for the day.
I agree Fiona, I noticed before, the more reactions I had in a day the longer it took to fall asleep and the sleep itself was not as restful. So now, if my day has been overly reactive I find what supports me is to do a 5-10 minute meditation so I feel a lot clearer before going to bed.
I have found the more I connect with people and allow myself the space to feel my feelings the easier it is to surrender into a deep rest.
That’s a great way to look at it Abby. I am sure that is true.
I also notice that when I do not properly take the time to prepare for bed and let go of the day, my body wakes up in tension. When I have wound down and let go of the day my sleep quality improves a million fold and I feel so well rested.
I too have been playing more with letting go of the day and particularly allowing myself to feel that it is complete, even when tasks aren’t ‘finished’. The more I trust this, the more I am shown how there is a rhythm to everything, including when things need to complete.
Yes, and when we stop pushing to get things done, we start to see how there is a right time to do everything. What may have been a struggle to do late at night, if left to do at another time can actually be easier because other elements that were needed or things you did not even consider show up.
I too have noticed how when I don’t sleep well because of unreseloved issues then in the morning I am grumpy and it affects my whole day until I break the mould and set it right again.
Thank you Rosie for sharing the loving steps you take to prepare yourself for a restful night’s sleep. I have struggled for years with going to bed earlier because I was made to go to bed really early when I was away at boarding school and have spent most of my adult life in reaction to that. Recently it has felt much more loving to go to bed when my body is tired but I have noticed with the longer evenings I have been going to bed later and the quality of my sleep has been affected by what I have been doing in the day because I have not taken enough time to wind down. Thank you for the inspiration of putting myself to bed as if I was putting a baby to bed. Awesome.
Same here Helen, I’ve found it easy recently to push the time to sleep or keep going a little longer than feels true. Lovely to be reminded of truly winding down and the support that provides.
Hi Rosie, I love the way you express things so simply and yet absolutely hit the nail on the head. And quality not quantity (as Fiona says above) is definitely the key to a nurturing night’s sleep. Thank you for sharing the beautiful rituals you are enjoying at bedtime.
Hi Rosie, Thank you for your blog. The following particularly resonated deeply with me –
“When I do go to bed, I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed. I really take the time to get comfortable, so that my body feels fully supported. I deserve to love and care for myself fully, and it’s something that I had never really taken time to do. We often give this much care to others and our children but forget to also give that same care and dedication to ourselves.”
And so, on that note, “I am going to put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed” right now. Good night.
Good point Natalie. When raising 3 small boys it felt natural to include a gentle wind down time to prepare them for sleep. They were properly rested and woke bright and cheerful in the morning. Interesting that what I saw so clearly for small children I did not choose for myself and then wondered why I often did not feel truly refreshed and rested in the morning. Now I treat myself as a small child and allow plenty of wind down time and I sleep like a baby.
Beautiful Rosie, thank you. So simple and inspiring, I really notice that if I have been on the computer late or have had stimulating conversations before bed, eaten late or left issues unresolved with my family then I find it harder to go to sleep. Whereas if I have wind down time, time to just sit and be with myself in bed, massage my hands, write in my diary and other simple rituals then I naturally go to sleep easily and feel rejuvenated when I wake up in the morning.
Thanks Rosie, there are some really helpful tips in there. I have the most wonderful sleeps these days, I’m usually fast asleep by 9pm or before, but I’ve never put myself to bed as if a child. This is a lovely way of doing it and I will certainly give it a try.
Don’t forget to tuck yourself in really gently.. and take the time to make sure you are really comfortable and that your hair is out of your way… take time for the details. Take time for you!
Make time for the details, simplicity is in the details.
That sounds really beautiful Rosie. I am going to take time with these little details when I go to bed tonight.
Rosie. I love your simplicity on going to bed, and caring for one’s self. Is there something else I can do, as I do not have the hair to move out of the way. Mine left years ago.
I’m with you there Kevin, I get a good quality sleep these days but I have never put myself to bed like a baby so I look forward to trying that.
A beautiful blog and inspiring blog. I will take these words to bed with me this evening ‘I put myself to bed as if I were putting a baby to bed’. Gorgeous – thank you for sharing.
Thank you Rosie for all your insights. I notice how easy it is for me to change my pattern with the seasons and with the longer hours of daylight in the summer, fall into the ‘just do this’ whereas in the winter with the dark nights my response is very different. Maybe it is something left over from childhod, being sent to bed when it was still light outside, which leads me to wonder just how much lingers in my body from the threat of being sent to bed as a punishment. What a far cry from the loving relationship I can have with my body and it’s time for clearing all that I have done during the day… sleep.
And sleep need not be for punishment or for reward, but just because it is a lovely way to support your body and to feel vital all the time.
I love that Rosie, sleep is indeed a lovely way to support our bodies…
Thank you all for your lovely responses. I love each and every contribution. It feels like an open area to delve deeper into our understanding of sleep and quality and then with our own understanding, be able to share this with others.
Yes Rosie, I am loving all these comments and sharings too, it just feels so lovely to deepen this connection to our sleep.
Lovely blog Rosie. You are right, we do deserve to love and care for ourselves. Having a wind down rhythm is very important and it is surprising how much our bodies will let us know if the quality isn’t there.
Love this blog Rosie and all the comments and love your comment Tim our bodies do let us know instantly, when the quality is not there…usually an ache or a pain.
Isn’t it interesting that such simple and practical tools and choices have been kept from us for so long, I wonder who didn’t want us to know that there is another way 🙂 in which we can live, that brings such true joy, health, vitality, harmony and love to our bodies and being – thank you Universal Medicine and Serge Benahayon for showing us there is another way.
It is interesting and amazing to actually feel the difference in the quality of sleep we have and the feeling we wake up with the next day, one of love and joy and yumminess, when we have a day where we honour how and what we feel, as to a day where we live in disregard and override what and how we feel, where we can wake up feeling exhausted, anxious, heavy and full of negative thoughts. So simple, when we look at it in this way.
Thank you for putting this in such a straight forward practical way. These simple steps you have highlighted are profound in feeling more vital and less tired in the day. Seriously every school should be given a copy of this. By making simple choices to improve the quality of our sleep introduces a consistently far more stable, joyful state of being. I am so with you on this Rosie!
Yes it would be great for children (and the wider world) if they were supported to make more self-loving choices around winding down and going to bed at an appropriate time for their ages.
Thank you for sharing Rosie – as you say it is the quality of sleep rather than the amount that is important. It is so ingrained in us that we have to have 8 or 9 hours or more sleep a night to feel really rested but I know this is not the reality. Our body naturally tells us when it’s time to go to sleep, with a rise in melatonin and then naturally wakes us up with a rise in cortisol levels. The question is do we listen to our body or override it? Do we stay up past when our body has said it’s time to go to sleep? And when we go to sleep, have we let go of what we have taken on in the day or do we take to bed all the unresolved issues with us? We can’t expect sleep to magically rejuvinate us if we are not taking responsibility for the way we are living. By taking more responsibility during the day and when we prepare for sleep we will find a huge difference in the quality, as I have found and I know you have too Rosie.
Very true James, when you start to take responsibility for your everyday choices and building a routine of caring and loving choices before you go to bed, will definitely improve the quality of your sleep which will then set you up for the next day making it easier to make more responsible choices.
Awesome blog, so many people talk to me about how they are getting loads of sleep, but are still tired. It’s so true that you could sleep for hours, but if the quality isn’t there, you will never be rested.
This is beautiful and simply expressed Rebecca. Although for years now I feel like I have been trying to get to bed early and am still waking up feeling sore. Clearly I am not doing something right. However every now and then when I seem to apply no effort and just fall asleep in absolute rest I wake, no, spring out of bed it’s so different. Honouring the time time before sleep is amazing, and is such a simple change to make, but boy does it take some commitment.
‘Yes I agree and …” it’s not so much “how much sleep do we need?” but how I am living before I go to sleep, and how that affects the quality of my sleep. ” This is also very true.
This is great – we so often rely on “a good night’s sleep” to ‘fix’ us and our exhaustion – and get frustrated when it doesn’t! It’s so much more than just falling into bed and closing our eyes. I love how you are taking the responsibility for the quality of your sleep and have lots of ways you actively prepare for it.
Well said Anna! We do often rely on a “good night’s sleep” to fix us instead of taking responsibility for the choices we are making and how we are living that lead us to feel that way.
Wow, how empowering that we don’t have to rely on hope as to whether we have a good night’s sleep, we can make choices.
I for one have definitely fallen for the ‘fix’ of a ‘good night’s’ sleep. And like others have expressed it is often only the quality of the lived day that supports the rejuvenation of a night’s sleep.
So true Anna. I have often thought that just by closing my eyes after flopping into bed, all would be well in the morning. I have realised as Rosie says that its the quality of sleep that is most important, and that how I have been in my day and how I prepare for bed will hugely affect my sleep.
This made me laugh Debra. Flopping into bed is such an honest description of what happens for most at the end of the day. Even the way we lay ourselves down for sleep is the first key to how our day has really been.
I agree, relying on sleep to ‘fix’ me does not work. I used to go to bed with a very busy brain, reviewing everything from the day just passed and anticipating the day ahead and then wondered why I often woke up exhausted. I now enjoy a gentle and steady wind down, letting go of my day and not worrying about tomorrow, eating lighter and much earlier, having a bath before bed and realize this is very much like how I was with our children when they were young, to ensure they were ready for sleep when they went to bed. I now sleep like a baby.
Thank you for sharing this Rosie. I’m refining my own sleeping schedule and patterns at the moment, and this has given me some lovely inspiration.
Thanks Rosie – I noticed if I ate late at night I felt pretty awful the next morning – heavy, sluggish and tired. As I become more aware I can see how my different choices affect my sleep – what I eat and when, what issues are going on and so forth can all impact it. I’m still learning and refining as I go – but if I wake up feeling tired and sluggish I look at what I was doing the day/night before that has led to that.
I’m with you on this one Eunice – when I wake up feeling sluggish, tired and not great, instead of simply saying oh well I’ve had a bad night’s sleep, I now know, thanks to the presentations by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, that it is my own choices in how I have been choosing to live, what I have eaten, any stuff I’ve taken on, staying up when I’m clearly tired and need to sleep etc, that have then impacted on the quality of my sleep. And on the other hand when I make more self-loving choices, honouring what I feel, expressing myself, eating more nourishing meals etc, this then affects the quality of my sleep in a completely different way. I wake up feeling more me, well rested, more clear and full of energy and vitality.
This whole process is forever changing and evolving for all of us. I have just started working until 9pm on some nights and now playing, testing and trying how it feels now that my rythym has changed. I have found so far, that even while working, I can start winding down so that my body is not racing or in full on thinking mode and that way, when I do get to bed, I am not still thinking about work related topics, and am instead ready to just be still.
I have never been good with rules or rigidity.. it usually just makes me want to rebel!
Thank you Rosie. Your blog is very timely and informative. Your comment is also very pertinent – to remember that rhythms ned to to adjust as we, our activities and the energy changes.
Rosie, this is such a valuable point that we can make a choice to start preparing ourselves to sleep regardless of the activity.
So true Rosie. It is always changing and evolving. I have been honouring myself more and more with my ways of winding down, living and being throughout my day, and of course the ways I choose to sleep. I am finding that there are different levels of vitality that we can go to with how we live, each step can feel even more vital than the former but there is always another level to go to. It’s all about the quality of how we live not necessarily about what we do
I agree Eunice, recently I have got into a habit of snacking on almonds before bed, which stimulate me to stay up longer and impact on my sleep. I wake up feeling tired and unrested and decidedly unwell. Thank you for the timely reminder to look at what or how late I eat before I sleep.
I have used the same stimulation in watching tv and finding when I go into questioning why, I find it always comes back to not living in the fullness of myself during that day.
So Simon does that mean that if you don’t live in the fullness of your day, you choose to watch tv to try to make up for a sense of lack?
It’s everything isn’t it? Every moment effects the rest.
When I think of it like that, I can either think well then today will be hard as it has already started off with a few hicups… but really the reality is, we can turn things around at any point and put a stop to whatever we were caught up in, and start fresh again. When I think like this, there is a sigh of relief knowing that whenever I mess up, I can start again.
I agree Eunice but it was not until I eliminated caffeine from my diet that I was able to become aware of the impact the food I was eating was having on the quality of my sleep. I began to notice that if I ate too late or certain foods too close to my bed time the quality of my sleep would be disturbed and I would wake feeling sluggish and not refreshed. For me it has taken regular fine tuning and then tuning again to improve the quality of my sleep.
I am of course still learning and experimenting. The other night I overate all the right foods and my sleep was so restless. The food may have tasted good but it was not worth how I then spent the next 8-10 hours.. that is for sure.
Yes Fiona, and then to find out what happens if I don’t actually need an evening meal at all, and how powering and enlivening that is.
Thank you Rosie. It is great to really bring it home that it is not the number of hours that is the key factor in quality sleep, but the quality of living leading up to the sleep.
Absolutely Golnaz, this is the key, such a huge revelation and it is so simple.
Yes I agree, a great reminder and timely for me to read again just now – thank you.
Great reminder Golnaz, that it’s the way we are in our day, and our wind down time that supports the quality of our sleep. It’s the quality of our sleep and not the quantity.
I totally relate to you on this routine that is much needed for us all before bed time, without copying of course but this blog is REALLY inspiring. I know that winding down without stimulation is much needed before bed time. Thank you Gyl for this AWESOME blog.
Yes Rhiannon, and that it really is about the way we live during the day there is the preparation for the way we sleep, and then the way we sleep is preparing for the day, and the cycle goes on with us returning to the same point always then to be able to reflect what has been the evolution that has taken place
Thank you Rosie, a lovely way to look at sleep being the quality of sleep and not the length of sleep. Especially making time to wind down and keep going to get more things done!
That is so true David. I imagine that if we could re-educate around sleep and understand that through self care and focus on the bedtime routines it can change our health then more people would engage with medicine as more than pharmaceuticals. Quality not quantity.
Yes David – to make time to wind down is so crucial. Sometimes I still get caught in checking emails, social media, and I forget to take time for winding down. It is always coming back to – my choice.
I agree it is very important to wind down and not get distracted by other things, as this reduces the quality of our sleep.
Fully agree with you here Rosie although the thing I struggle with is actually going to bed early. I can get up early, at a push but then for some reason, come 9pm, I’m not going to bed! For me, there seems to be a lot of resistance around this and I’ve recently come to feel that if my day isn’t enough i.e. If I haven’t been with myself in my body all day, the resistance may be me missing myself and then wanting to stay up late to compensate…. So what you say about the quality of your Livingness before you sleep could really be extended to the quality of Livingness throughout your whole day. The golden rule of never going to bed on an argument is an absolute winner too, as you said to not sweep in under the carpet… Great reminders, thank you.
Hi Rachel, Yes I totally agree, your sleep is affected not only by how you are living a few hours before going to sleep but in fact, by how you have been living the day and even the days before. It all accumulates no matter what. If it is exhaustion, excitement or joy, each one will have a different effect on your sleep.
I can certainly vouch for that one Rosie. The quality of my sleep is definitely affected by what I do during the day, or evening. It is true that we can take the momentum with us for a lifetime, which adds up to a lot of poor quality sleep. I have had a history of waking in the night and not being able to go back to sleep, but since I have made more loving choices for me during the day, and take more care in what I do in the evening, my sleep has improved. I am sure much of this has to do with being less anxious as well. I am very content with going to bed by 9 pm, it just seems the natural thing to do and my body likes it too.
I agree Rosie, I have found that how I am during the day and also leading up to going to bed has a huge effect on the quality of my sleep and therefore the quality of how I shall start the next day too. Great to pay attention to this as part of taking care of ourselves.
Yes Beverley the quality of our sleep is definitely a marker for how we have been in our day. I love that.
Such a simple yet supportive way of being all that we are.
Fantastic and great article over sleep Rosie, and a great reminder that it is the quality of sleep that counts, which is a result of how we have lived that day. The topic of sleep has come up for a few of my friends very recently and how they do not get enough sleep because they go to bed really late, and then can not concentrate during the day. I am going to send them your awesome article. Thank you so much for sharing.
I found that even when you do everything ‘right’, there are still days where there is a lot going on and I need more sleep to recover. If I don’t get enough sleep, having a short snooze (or if I am really tired, a longer one) during the day works wonders.
What works best for me is to have a purpose – the more I have a purpose that I enjoy, the less sleep I actually need as a general rule. The difference seems to be some two hours a day.
I agree Christoph, having purpose really is a game changer, and can change not just how you feel but the energy you have to do things with, and even the commitment you then have to taking care of yourself and ensuring that you wind down and that your sleep is restful. They all work hand in hand.
Very true Rosie, it is body awareness team work!
I couldn’t agree with you more Christoph. Purpose provides me with more energy than I ever could have imagined.
Yes Jacqueline, and when we scratch the surface of the subject of sleep, it turns out into enormous issue that so many people are dealing with or rather not dealing with… And is an extraordinary what Universal Medicine presents what actually goes on when we go to sleep, and how precious it is.
Sleep is a major cause of so many issues. Sleep deprivation can make anyone feel crazy, yet so many people have sleeping issues which is clearly as there is such a big market for sleeping pills.
It would be great if doctors were able to learn from Serge Benhayon and what he has presented on sleep and share it with their patients because at the end of the day, things can be changed without addictive drugs and all their side effects.
Hi Rosie, Thank you for the blog, it’s amazing when we listen to our bodies, so often I have naturally woken early for my head to go into the panic of “oh you’ve not had enough sleep, what if you’re tired later etc” but my body feels awake and naturally wants to get up. What I did originally was listen to my head, and make myself go back to sleep, only feeling a bit groggy and not so great when I awoke later. Then I decided to listen to my body and not my head, and say, okay what would happen if I just got up now, don’t make a big deal about it and learn from there how I feel… and I and my body feel much more amazing for this, there’s no drama, or stress just a natural flow and joy to the day.
Gyl I used to wake early morning and think I’d not had my 8 hours and I’ll feel it later in my day when I couldn’t stay awake or feel sick through lack of sleep. then I’d go back to sleep after a long while but wake feeling very groggy and tired.
This is all a learning process but I am starting to listen to my body more and have been surprised at how well I’ve felt through my day on what my head would say isn’t enough sleep. The difference has been the quality of sleep I’ve had.
I used to be attached to the 8 hours of sleep too. Interestingly I have experienced naturally waking up early and thinking it was too early to get up so I would convince myself sleeping more is a good idea. Mostly when I do this I wake up feeling much groggy and tired than the first time I awoke.
Yes, Abby, i have experienced this too… Its not a great feeling when you wake up for the second time that morning and wished i had got up earlier because not only do you feel groggy, but also that feeling of being behind, having to catch up…
Its interesting, since i have made a commitment to going to bed at a certain evening time (9pm) it has over a few weeks, re-set my body clock, and gradually, i have been ready to get up at that first waking, sometime even before the alarm clock.. Its great to notice this and really, is a very practical commitment to self care, by adhering to and honouring the time to go to bed.
I have found that it really doesn’t take long for our body to re adjust its own natural alarm clock and then no clock is needed. There are times when the body naturally needs to sleep an extra half hour pehaps because it is more exhausted than normal, and in these instances I am glad that I did not set an alarm but alowed my body to know when it has had enough sleep.
Gyl, I have had the same experience. These days it has become easier – if I don’t fall asleep again I get up. If I get a quick cramp in my foot or calf I take that as a strong hint to get up NOW. If I feel good, I get up but I make it a decision each time. Over time I get better at when to get up and when to sleep a bit longer. The big benefit of going to bed early is that you can sleep longer if need by.
That is a really good point you have shared Christoph… or a few points even…. if we go to bed early, we have extra time to sleep if our bodies need it, and we do need to discern this each time and not get into the mind frame of this is what I do and don’t budge. Some days or weeks, life can be more hectic and we may need an extra half hour or so and others not.
Always everyday changing ! Last night I was in a meeting that went well past my usual bed time, and I started to feel anxious, I realised this and then felt what I wanted and I actually felt like a cup of tea having not had a lot of time for that during the whole day, and instead of my anxiety ruling i.e. rushing to get to bed as soon as I could I took my time and got to bed late but awoke feeling great and at my normal time, whereas earlier in the week when a similar thing happened I let the anxiety set in and I felt exhausted the next day. Quality is everything.
That just goes to show that all you need to do is listen and feel what feels right, rather than stick to any rules. Sometimes having the cup of tea is so important, it can be the wind down time that is needed to rest well.
I have also experienced missing my normal bedtime occasionally and as you have Venessa instead of having anxiety, I will have my winding down time first and awake refreshed.
So true Vanessa, it is our quality that determines our presence and ability to surrender to sleep. It is beautiful to appreciate what true quality is and to recognise that our nature is to know and to feel the quality that we can develop for ourselves and offer to others. Thank you for the inspiration to take quality deeper for me this morning!
I agree Vanessa “quality is everything”, how we have lived during the day and how we prepare or in what quality we bring ourselves to sleep determines the quality of our sleep.
Oh yeah, I know that one Vanessa, it’s the nervousness I have to clear no matter how late it is, otherwise I might be in bed early enough but I toss and turn and don’t awake refreshed.
Yes Vanessa and Rosie – not being regulated but responding to what’s needed at any given time is the answer. That can be quite challenging (I know for me it is) but it is lovely to trust it and to try it and see what happens.
Yes Vanessa I sometimes feel my anxiety kick in when I don’t get to bed at my usual time. it is definitely a great point to remember that quality is everything and winding down before bed helps prepares us for our sleep and our day ahead.
It is interesting isn’t it because the anxiety just shows how on some level we want to control and if we go into that, it takes us no where as we don’t actually need to control at all, all we need to do is surrender. This is a major revelation to me and something I am experimenting with more and more and am amazed at how much easier life is when I am not trying to control every situation.
Vanessa I love how you have described the difference between quality and ‘doing the right thing’. It is so freeing.
Great example Vanessa. It’s not about the time that we go to bed, or sticking to rules, but much more about the quality that we go to bed in. I’ve had similar experiences lately – when I rush to get to bed because it’s late, I feel so much worse in the morning, whereas when I surrender to the fact that it’s really late, and wind down properly, I don’t feel as tired. The stress and anxiety we put on ourselves makes us far more tired than an hour’s less sleep.
Absolutely we need to gauge our body and honour that sometimes we do need the extra hour as our body is calling for it. Going to bed early allows that extra space to honour that extra hour if need. There is no right and wrong, everyone has their own rhythm that needs to be honoured. I know if I don’t honour the extra hour if I need it, if impacts my whole day.
And it is always changing, nothing is set in stone. There are no rules. What I do one week can be totally different than the next because it all depends on everything else that is happening in my life. Rhythm does not equal rigid.
What a great tip Christoph re taking as a strong hint to get up NOW (I love your capital writing!) when feeling a quick cramp in the foot. I never saw going to bed early as offering the opportunity to sleep longer if ones need to – that’s a great point that totally makes sense.
Yes good idea, instead of sleeping in and feeling sluggish, just go to bed earlier if you feel you need extra sleep.
The sluggish feeling can effect your whole day. Going to sleep earlier is a great way to avoid the draining feeling that effects us and those around us when we are not ready to start the day.
This really highlights for me some of the beliefs and ideals we have around sleep that I too have been caught up in – thinking if I didn’t have ‘x’ hours sleep, I would automatically be tired etc. and then thinking if I had ‘extra’ hours of sleep, I would automatically be well rested etc. and basically ending up frustrated because I was trying to ‘tell’ my body what to do or what it should feel like, rather than actually ‘listening’ to it in the first place and respond to what it was telling me. Bringing a quality of living to my sleep – not only in preparing for bed/sleep, but in how I am living throughout the day has made a huge difference to my sleep.
Angela, I feel that the difference between thinking from a knowledge point of view… ie I need x amount of hours versus feeling from the body and what actually does or doesnt work is the key. Unfortunately many have been brought up to think rather than to feel first.
Ideals and beliefs are rife around how we sleep, how often, how much. I have found for me also Angela it is the quality of sleep that is so very important. Not just all the things that we normally attribute to our sleeping patterns.
It is interesting to note how many people have such strong and ingrained ideals and beliefs around how much sleep is needed.
I have found there were 2 reasons for waking up…I was ready or my head was racing and my body gave up trying to get any more rest! I have slowly started learning the difference. Both result in me waking up but one is sustainable and the other is not.