Sounds cold and reptilian doesn’t it . . . ?
Well it was. That was me. I had built my life around being the perfect fit-in chameleon. It was like I could smell how people felt and what they needed and wanted, and I would adapt myself to fit that picture. I did it with different groups of friends and in relationships I would mould myself as the perfect girlfriend and fit to what I thought was needed.
I would use this talent in bed as well, to make sex amazing for my partners, as I instinctively knew what they liked. However, I would then be left feeling the emptiness of the lack of connection and then resent my partner and the relationship.
My relationships would only last about 3 to 6 months. I would get over playing the role and I would start to feel that something was missing here: I was missing just being me! All the “I love you’s” I had said and the care I had shown was empty, as it was never really me. I had been living with that emptiness within my relationships for so long, with partners and in friendships alike.
I didn’t know who I was anymore: I was interchanging so much I had no memory of me and what it was like to just be me.
Through a friend I met an amazing woman, Natalie Benhayon, who has continued to be a true role model for me. I began attending healing sessions with Natalie and found working with her was supporting me to come back to re-connecting with myself after all these years. I was receiving bodywork regularly, but even just simply talking honestly about how I was feeling as a woman helped me discover more of who I really am . . . beneath the Chameleon.
As I have learnt to build trust in myself and to open up and share not only with Natalie but with many other close friends on a deep level, I have developed and grown to be my own woman, something I had long left behind.
Now I have been re-finding me, getting to know myself deeply, not in the fluffy spiritual sense, but in a simple ways, like:
- Taking myself on lots of first dates
- Finding out what I like to eat
- Discovering what places I like to go to
- Exploring what perfumes I like to wear
- Learning what music I really like
- Discovering how I laugh and smile for me, not for everyone else.
Just being me is like finding the rainbow complete with the pot of gold at the end. I have found the Holy Grail . . . the familiar feeling of running into an old friend, Me!! I now have a sense of not needing to look outside of me anymore to make myself feel loved.
I am enjoying the imperfect and sometimes wobbly process of my rebuilding, looking back at where I was and where I am now and where I will be. I cannot help but smile when I look at how far I have come. I am looking forward to the next steps – like a gardener who keeps adding to and maintaining the beautiful space that has been created.
The beautiful, tender, delicate and super scrumptious woman I am has been hidden under that yucky self-made reptilian chameleon coat for too long. Inspired by Natalie Benhayon’s example, I have realised that I can uncover the real me by simply re-connecting deeply with myself and the woman I truly am.
I have found enjoyment in the small things, like asking myself what I want to eat and cooking yummy foods, taking time in the mornings and not rushing out the door, spending those small moments appreciating who is looking back at me in the mirror. This has been a world of discovery, seeing my beautiful playful face in the mirror and enjoying me.
It has really been great to meet people when I am feeling so amazing and to have them light up when they spend time with me, as me . . . My relationships with others have changed, I am more open to enjoying another person’s company with ease as I now have the confidence to just be me.
Over the past few years Natalie Benhayon has been a true inspiration and role model of how to be a real woman. Her strength and powerful emanation of a woman is something I know I also have equally, but over the years had forgotten. The more I connect to the true me, the more I can feel the old falling away and the true me beaming through. As I live from this I can see all women have the same innate tenderness, power and strength; it has just been forgotten and buried under the ideals of what we believe society wants us to be.
By Nicole Wise, Student, Northern Rivers
Further Reading:
What Happens When You Meet Natalie Benhayon?
What Defines a True Woman? – Returning to Be-You-Ty
622 Comments
We know because of the inner sense that we have that there is something missing in our lives There are a myriad of distractions that take us off course in a quest to find settlement in our bodies.
Enter Universal Medicine and the workshops and presentations that support everyone to not look outside but within; to build a relationship with oneself to learn to trust what we know and not rely on outside influences that are the decoys to take us away from our inner most essence.
What you have written Nicole touches my heart because I was so lost before finding Universal Medicine and today I am that Gardener you speak of that keeps adding to and maintaining the beautiful space that I have created thanks to the absolute and constant support of Universal Medicine.
Living as a chameleon is a way of hiding ourselves to avoid intimacy
“I didn’t know who I was anymore: I was interchanging so much I had no memory of me and what it was like to just be me.” I can so relate, it is having role models in our lives like Natalie Benhayon that show us that it is ok and perfectly natural to be our whole and true self.
“Just being me is like finding the rainbow complete with the pot of gold at the end. I have found the Holy Grail ” Beautiful Nicole nothing in the world beats being ourselves.
When everyone is trying to ‘fit in’ with everyone else, no one knows who they are.
When we step through the mirage of our own and other’s expectations we meet the essence of who we are.
This is beautiful to read Nicole, and so inspiring, ‘Just being me is like finding the rainbow complete with the pot of gold at the end. I have found the Holy Grail . . . the familiar feeling of running into an old friend, Me!! I now have a sense of not needing to look outside of me anymore to make myself feel loved.’
Natalie Benhayon has been such a big inspiration for me too – I think it’s super rare these days for someone to be so content and so embracing of who they are and also how wonderful that is – it’s incredibly inspiring, and it actually gives you permission to feel the same way about yourself.
Thanks Nicole, I’m sure it’s quite common for people to change themselves and go along with whoever they are with and in the process bury who they are. We are not really a society that honours who people are, more so what people do including what they can do for others. Just being ourselves almost sounds simplistic, yet I know from my own experience it’s also the most powerful medicine for a healthy and joy filled life. Having to wear a mask takes a lot of energy so just being ourselves takes a lot of pressure and stress off the body. We also deeply miss who we are when we are unable to just be our natural selves.
Previously I would identify with what I did. Now I have more experience being me does the old way of identifying myself shows up as being disturbing/upsetting etc.
It is no wonder that so many women, including me, end up living a chameleon-type existence, as all around us the world is telling us who we should be, ably supported by the media with endless glitzy magazines, adorned with perfect air brushed faces staring out from every corner store. It feels to me that we become the chameleon because it is way too hard to be us. That’s why I absolutely love Natalie Benhayon and the self-confirming messages she is always sharing with other women. She has inspired me, and so many other women, to peel back our very ingrained layers of protection and to embrace and adore the beautiful woman waiting to shine
Natalie is such an inspiration and forever stepping up to what is next needed, ‘She has inspired me, and so many other women, to peel back our very ingrained layers of protection and to embrace and adore the beautiful woman waiting to shine’.
There is something so solid and appealing about someone who is themselves no matter who they are with, myself I have always been some what a of chameleon too though this is changing super fast as I claim more and more of who I am.
A beautiful reflection of how amazing and empowering it is to re-establish an honoring relationship with who we are within, our essence as we discover that this relationship is the key to experiencing what true love is and knowing that we don’t need to be anything other than who we are. It is then in sharing this love that is a joy to bring to all our relationships whether is it received or not.
We can be truly inspired when we have role models who are living the truth of who they are in full.
It find it very interesting how it can be the very sensitive ones of our world who feel that they need to chameleonise themselves the most. Ironically using their sensitivities to hide and at times manipulate. What is fascinating too though, and as I understand the Esoteric to be, is how it is this very sensitivity which lives within each person, therefore, are we not all just chameleonising ourselves to avoid a major fact about life here on Earth – namely that we are all connected indeed as a one brotherhood, regardless of the surface image that each person projects?
Absolutely and reflecting that to others and inspiring them to reconnect with their divine essence as Natalie has done with us.
Thank you for sharing the truth with those around you and with us and paying such a lovely tribute to the awesome Natalie Benhayon who has inspired countless other women including myself to set out on this journey of exploration and celebration of ourselves and our true identity as the gorgeous women that we are.
Totally agree Helen – Natalie Benhayon is lighting the way of what it is to live the essence, the sacredness of a women and inspiring many women to reignite their connection to their innate sacredness and live the power of who they are – that which is then a lived reflection for many others to also be inspired by.
The beautiful thing about it is that it’s a discarding process, a letting go of everything we’ve taken on to discover the many wonderful and adore-worthy qualities within. We are not truly empty, not enough, or need to become something, as we are already everything within ourselves.
Well said Helen – thank god for women like Natalie Benhayon who are prepared to go there in their own journey of exploring who they are so everyone else can see what is possible.
Let’s face it until we know ourselves deeply and truly, we are all chameleons
Reading your blog today Nicole, has reminded me how far I have come in the past five years as a student, in the past I was always giving myself away to the needs of others, I, like you didn’t know what I really liked or really thought, so it has been a rediscovery of me little by little and in this I am learning to love and appreciate me, for I know there is much more to uncover and appreciate.
I used to be a bit of a chameleon too and would almost pride my self by the fact that I had different friends according to the different aspects of my life. At the time I thought this was great, but when I tried to bring them together it wasn’t so great. What I realise now is that we are all the same on the inside, and by accepting everyone for who they are it matters not one iota what another does. It makes for true and harmonious relationships with everyone.
I can relate to this Sandra and life is so much simpler now that I have shed my chameleon tendencies!
Thank you Nicole, it shows us that we are part of a greater whole, yet have and bring our unique flavor to it. We yet have to get to know ourselves in full, so that we can let all that previous shaping into a chameleon go.
Indeed, Natalie is inspiring as she doesn’t live to any pictures and roles but is just herself in all that she does. She knows her depth, her quality and is very confident in this and this is very inspiring.
Just a little bit of time in the morning to appreciate ourselves and feel how delicate and beautiful we are can make such a difference to the day and what choices we make.
“I have found the Holy Grail . . . the familiar feeling of running into an old friend, Me!” So many of us, me included have spent so much time looking to the answer to the burning question – who am I? – outside of ourselves and as we did we moved further and further away from the true answer. The crazy thing we have always had this answer, all we had to do is stop and turn our gaze inward.
Fitting in is so simple and a game of protection most of us play and could this be a love-less exercise that keeps us from the loving beings we all naturally are? The truth is we need no protection or fitting in as a chameleon, and if we think we do then it becomes impossible to reconnect to the love that is within our inner-heart.
The game you share here Greg has become so subtle in how it can have us ‘thinking’ we are on track but sooner or later we get to feel that what we thought was true is far from what is felt to be true when we connect to being real and honest about life.
Thank you for this blog – I lit up when I saw it again because I am also working on my tendency to be like a chameleon but for me I feel it is less calculated and more like a defence mechanism. In life instead of being myself, I choose to blend in, to take on behaviours outside of myself to remain a part of the background and defend myself by losing myself and fitting in. Either way, it is slowing rebuilding connection to the body and to who I am – living that – that is important.
The innate power which we hide so clever by all not loving patterns but we all know that we need to open up and live our truth once again.
This is a pattern I am very familiar with. A chameleon that adapts to whatever is needed without a consideration for what it is that actually supports me and others – with no commitment to me being who I truly am. This blog exposes the games we play and the act we put on to be what we think others want, but this leaves us with no true sense of ourselves.
It is much simpler- absolutely agree- but also more comfortable to stay in the pleasing role everyone needs or does not rock the boat too much. So the decision is: comfort versus responsibility.
I used to be a chameleon as well- I came a loooong way with that…As it is not that obvious anymore, I observe myself / am being aware of very precisely where I don’t stay in my authority with all that I am, realise and emanate when I am with someone. As it does give a strong reflection, which makes people possibly react, it is about not shying away from that- even though I could sense the reaction before. It is uncomfortable because you won´t be everybody´s darling but it is the only way to reflect the truth in full.
Loved reading your blog Nicole it’s Gold! It does not seem a ‘big thing’ but it is truly profound having the confidence and ease to be all of you and en-joy yourself while in relationships. “My relationships with others have changed, I am more open to enjoying another person’s company with ease as I now have the confidence to just be me.” How many can truly say that they are all of them in relationships?.. this is the beauty of Universal Medicine and all that it offers.
This sentence jumped out… we can spend a lifetime trying to please others and then a revelation – “I have found the Holy Grail . . . the familiar feeling of running into an old friend, Me!!” The day I found this in me, life simplified, it got deep and wide like a river and the effort of always pushing upstream trying to be something I am not is dropping away.
I love this sharing and can so relate to it. I am learning to give myself space in each situation and to learn how I feel about things. Learning to express myself and what I like or what would work for me, it is freeing for all when you do this as it allows them to do the same.
Nicole, I love this; ‘Taking myself on lots of first dates, Finding out what I like to eat, Discovering what places I like to go to, Exploring what perfumes I like to wear, Learning what music I really like, Discovering how I laugh and smile for me, not for everyone else.’ This is very gorgeous and makes me realise how often we compromise to please others and how we often put others first.
Realising that I have acted like a pretzel most of my life was huge – it was an amazing and freeing feeling to recognise how I had learnt to bend and twist myself to fit in with people and situations, because then i could begin to change this behaviour and begin to be more of who I really am in life
“Just being me is like finding the rainbow complete with the pot of gold at the end. I have found the Holy Grail” Ah so true and its free!
One of the most revealing places where we are a chameleon, as you say, is in the way we speak. We are so used to changing our expression according to our environment that, if observed from afar the average person would be exhibiting signs of split personality at the drop of a hat. The thing is once we discover who we are our true voice will never change, and we ourselves can just be who we truly are
What a celebration this blog is – to now appreciating and enjoying your face and the depth in your eyes reflected back at you in the mirror Nicole.
“This has been a world of discovery, seeing my beautiful playful face in the mirror and enjoying me.”
Oh the release of the shackles!! I have been a chameleon, an adaptable human being…making sure I cover every base with everyone so that not a single person has an opportunity or excuse to not like me. I’ve changed my ways for the better, and whilst at times I get caught out by my old tricks, for the most part, I’m a lot more comfortable presenting myself as me and I’m less attached to how people might respond.
When we discard the false protection of the cloak of many colours we discover the truth of who we naturally are is there within us and we can have fun “appreciating who is looking back at me in the mirror”.
This is the journey of getting to know YOU. How many people say, “I don´t know who I am deep inside”. Allowing and having the courage to peel off the layers we consciously put on, will show you the real you again. And I can say out of experience even my face changed immensely letting go of all the cloak of colours I chose to wear out of protection and comfort.
One of the most liberating experience there is is to simply be able to be ourselves in all environments and with everyone equally
‘The more I connect to the true me, the more I can feel the old falling away and the true me beaming through’. Beautifully said Nicole.
Really there is no greater price then the love we find that was there all along.
Reading this has confirmed and clarified for me something I have felt for a while. I do feel very open and I want to be with people when I am myself. The only time I don’t want to be with people is when I believe that I have to be something I am not. So simple and it feels pretty cool to have what was once so confusing now clarified.
ˇseeing my beautiful playful face in the mirror and enjoying me.” yes you are very playful and its always a joy to meet you. Thank you for sharing.
Hey Nicole, this is an amazing description of how it feels like to fall in love with yourself – you’ve really captured the magic that is possible. I completely understand when you say you love the imperfect moments, and all the small moments of rebuilding – and I love how you describe all the different ways you got to know you. The relationship we have with ourselves is one billion percent worth building and developing all the time.
Thank you Nicole – you have shared what I am sure many of us have experienced growing up and also in life in general. I know I certainly did but often thought at the time, I was alone in feeling this. The roles we play to be accepted, recognised and feel a sense of belonging, all of which in the end, when we are with ourselves leave us feeling at a loss of who we truly are. Like you I also have discovered that there is no greater confirmation of who we are than being who we are. You have summed it up beautifully how enriching it is to live in connection to who we are – ‘As I live from this I can see all women have the same innate tenderness, power and strength; it has just been forgotten and buried under the ideals of what we believe society wants us to be.’
For years I perfected my chameleon act and then felt short-changed that others seemed not to ‘get’ me! It has been so revealing to peel off the layers and let go of the need to fit in and for me the joy I am finding in exploring my relationship with myself is reflected in the deeper connections that are emerging with others.
For starters I love the pics with this article !! And yes until we know ourselves we cannot help BUT be a chameleon… because the only way not to be IS to know who we are
The moment we stop looking outside of ourselves to be loved is the moment we finally take responsibility for our own lives. When we love ourselves we have everything we could possibly want.
“As I have learnt to build trust in myself and to open up and share not only with Natalie but with many other close friends on a deep level, I have developed and grown to be my own woman, something I had long left behind.” It is so important to start to share who we are with not just the ones we trust but with everyone. I often find how I am myself with people close to me and who know me, but can hide a whole part of myself with people I am not so close with, and try to make them like me instead of being real and truthful without fear of them thinking I am awkward. Thinking about it, it is so strange how we can most parts of our lives not be ourselves! And then wondering why we don’t feel the full joy of living…
If we are not ourselves in life, eventually things come unstuck. I was very much a chameleon too Nicole but through the inspiration of Natalie and Miranda Benhayon in particular, have learnt to be and to value myself and the flavour I bring to people and life as unique and important. It is so much more enjoyable and easy to live this way.
Someone I knew some time back, used to say all the time when they saw me, your such a chameleon, and I used to think that was a good thing and that it meant I was changing all of the time. But I think what was really happening there is that I was changing myself to fit in to different circumstances, or trying to find the real me within life.
I wonder how many women (and men!) could say the same or similar about the inspiration and life changing interactions they have with Natalie Benhayon? My guess is in the 1000’s. The thing is, Natalie Benhayon is not special – the difference is that she has committed and dedicated herself to living and expressing who she is at all times and that’s the reflection that changes so many lives around her. We can all do the same.
Getting to know myself truly and deeply means that so much has fallen away. I had crammed my life with so many activities and so much stuff. A spaciousness has opened up in my life on a daily basis although my life is full, the fullness now is of a different quality. The old ways try to creep in and they do some times and they show me areas where I hold hurt or fear of hurt. This I can take to a session and be supported in healing.
Thank you Nicole for sharing your experience, one I can relate to, I had hidden myself away for a very long time relating from what I thought people wanted me to be, there was none of the true me to share with anyone, a very empty life. These days thankfully through Unimed presentations I have come to know that there is a true beautifully tender me deep inside, one that I have been able to accept explore and express, it has at last been okay to be me, the true deeply loving me.
It is indeed inspiring to witness people living the grace and power of their essence like Natalie Benhayon. I know the pattern of being a chameleon well. The thing is when we are on the look out for what others need and adapting to that, we end up in a relationship that panders to the needs and limitations of both parties. But when living the grandness of all that we are, this honours and invites the other person to also connect and live the grandness of who they equally are.
You know Nicole, sometimes when I look at people it feels like there is another version available if they would choose. I feel that the person we make available for others is a limited one, at least that is what I can feel with myself. I give others a certain amount of me but not the full version. I’ve beginning to feel lately that it’s time to bring the full version though.
Ah reading this and introducing the process of getting to know myself feels amazing – like a beautiful step into appreciating who I am for who I am – not what I do or how I interpret how other’s perceive me. It’s like a process of becoming confident, this is who I am and loving and accepting all of me. What fun I can have with me! It’s like so simple yet something I’ve waited for from others – their getting to know me when I don’t know myself now seems crazy – or shall I say somewhat flawed? 🙂 – on reflection.
I happen to know your laugh and it is utterly gorgeous so I am very glad you found it again to let it light up the world when you do. Amazing that we can travel so far from such intrinsic and natural beauty to search for something we already have in spades.
I can so relate Nicole to what you are saying, I used to pride myself on the fact that I could change to adapt depending on who I was with, though at the end of the day this left me feeling anxious and exhausted.
Isn’t it great to let all that go and instead discover that just being ourselves is enough.
Yes Samantha – It’s a huge skill to be able to calibrate and adapt to the crowd we are around, and to also remember who is who with who! Utterly exhausting indeed.
The initial thought that came to me when asking ‘What does the real Leigh like?’ that exploring such a question was too hard. But it really isn’t and the moment I claimed this the first thing I can claim is that the real me likes, if not loves, warm tea! It makes my whole body feel yummy and supported.
It’s a sad fact that the world we live in doesn’t nurture or support us to make choices consistently to experience the end result of feeling absolutely yummy and content within ourselves, Thank God for people like Natalie Benhayon in the world that show that nothing in the world around us is worth giving more attention than what we feel is needed for us to be ourselves in the world.
The bottom line is when we are able to just be ourselves, what is not to love, because love is what we are, and anyone with a problem with that is only jealous.
Awesome blog Nicole, and what a gorgeous woman has emerged from the Chameleon skin. I love how you now appreciate being you, sharing your light and love for all to appreciate and enjoy.
Living life enjoining others in order to be liked or accepted is exhausting and eventually takes a huge toll on our bodies, it is only unitl we reconnect to our bodies that we get to appreciate deeply our own qualities and how much joy and ease life is when we choose to be who we truly are.
I love the appreciation you share about enjoying the simple ways in which we care for ourselves. These are so important to be aware of, fully connect with and allow any delicious, beautiful and playful feelings be fully honoured. Like choosing ‘the underwear’ for the day simply because of how we are feeling and to honour ourselves and choosing to expand on that – for ourselves – very often no one else will ever know.
Thank you for the reminder to allow surrender in my body to the natural flow of what’s available. Trying to work it out is exhausting and headaches come as well, blocking the connection to a great awareness that is available with the surrendering in my body: life is simple, clarity is present and complexity isn’t present.
“As I live from this I can see all women have the same innate tenderness, power and strength; it has just been forgotten and buried under the ideals of what we believe society wants us to be.” Beautiful Nicole – and so true.
I too have been a Chameleon most of my life. I saw it as being compliant or easy to get along with, but in fact it was giving away who I truly am and avoiding confrontation. Therefore the end result is who am I? Something I am finding out by allowing myself to speak my truth and acknowledging and loving the person I am.
This has been something I have been looking at in terms of ‘standing up for myself’ which to me has been a process of learning when I follow another’s advice just because they said it, doing something my whole body does not want to do, feeling uneasy as I try to claim what others have said or done as my truth and the bigger ones – accepting how I feel to live even if no one else likes or accepts it, accepting what I feel to say and do even if I get ignored or rejected. And the other one would be – standing as I feel to stand, because I have been noticing that I take on the stances of others, like a chameleon I copy their body posture. Learning to be me and stay with me is an ongoing process but with role models such as Natalie Benhayon I know it is possible.
Natalie has also been a very inspiring role model for myself too. She breaks down all the moulds of how we should be as women and inspires in you and inner strength that can ignite the real you to come out.
Natalie is very much herself and through her living and expressing in that simple way it inspires others to connect to the same quality in themselves – it has certainly inspired me and continues to do so. This may sound a bit obvious but somehow or other pretty much everyone miraculously manages to present someone other than who they truly are which is why it feels so amazing to meet someone just being themselves!!!
This is so simple and lovely Nicole, ‘ spending those small moments appreciating who is looking back at me in the mirror. This has been a world of discovery, seeing my beautiful playful face in the mirror and enjoying me.’
“Finding out what I like to eat” this is a bombshell of a one, how many of us really eat from our heads, what we ‘think’ we should eat, what someone else eats, instead of what we feel, and what supports our body.
“I cannot help but smile when I look at how far I have come” A beautiful appreciation of the blossoming of the true woman within.
Natalie is certainly a wonderful inspiration, a woman who supports and encourages us all to shed our reptilian skin and be our true natural selves.
I love what you have expressed in your blog Nicole; thank you for being the inspirational woman you are.
I am on that same return journey Nicole, thank you for sharing yours! I am realizing that I need to ask this question more often ‘Who am I truly?’ And allow myself to discover more of me as there are so many pictures and concepts that we grow up with, it is a jungle to find your way out of and back to simple, amazing ME.
Growing up I thought that being a Chameleon was a good thing, I kind of championed it to others and joked about it.
If I was dating a homie G I dressed gangsta, sporty guy, I was in sports gear, if I worked at a night club door, I was in dramatic fur and gowns. I even themed my outfits and behaviours to the places I visited, making it very confusing and disconnected way to live. I have also been supported by Universal Medicine and Natalie to re-discover who I am and I tell you, its actually far easier to be me than to try to be what I think everyone else wants me to be!
I too have been guilty of the Chameleon role in the past Nicole. It is not one I would like to return to because as you say we then don’t really know ourselves either. To return to our true selves and show who we are to the world, makes life more real and we get to feel like a real person in our lives!
I relate to so much of what you share in this blog in feeling like I should be or do things in a particular way as this is what is expected. Now with the role models of and inspiration from other amazing True Women like Natalie Benhayon and others I have retrieved what actually feels right for me. This feels super important as in the world today we are bombarded with so many different images it is a necessity to stay true to ourselves and I agree fully with what is written here -“As I live from this I can see all women have the same innate tenderness, power and strength; it has just been forgotten and buried under the ideals of what we believe society wants us to be.”
I can really relate, I used to be so many things to so many people yet like you I have rediscovered who I am and no longer feel to ‘switch’ in order to fit in.
I love this Nicole ‘Just being me is like finding the rainbow complete with the pot of gold at the end.’ How true this is and the more we live and express who we truly are there is a ripple affect to others who feel inspired and supported by our loving choices.
How can we really know anybody if we don’t know ourselves, because if what we put out is not a reflection of our true selves and isn’t true , it is then interpreted and reflected back, so that isn’t true either and so on and so on.
‘Just being me is like finding the rainbow complete with the pot of gold at the end.’ I love this line. It embraces the level of freedom and harmony available to us once we put aside the images and ideals of what being female – with all its associated roles – should be and instead begin a relationship of self-discovery, of getting to know ourselves for who we truly are.
Great to read this blog again Nicole Wise and to feel the truth that we are all there in full always but the real me had in the past ‘been forgotten and buried under the ideals of what we believe society wants us to be.’ Natalie Benhayon is a light shining for all women and men and you are correct we all have the potential to live more fully who we are, just like she does!
I can relate to what you share here Nicole as I played the chameleon role as well. Never knowing who I truly was, I became what everyone needed me to be and ended up exhausted, depressed and feeling empty. What a joy it has been to re-connect to the true me and learn to live this more each day thanks to the deeply inspiring and truly supportive Natalie Benhayon.
I love the honesty with which you write Nicole, none more so than: “I am enjoying the imperfect and sometimes wobbly process of my rebuilding”. I too know that wobbly process and that these times can be very challenging, but from the moment I realised that, yes, there is a beautiful woman under the layers of self protection and lack of self worth I had hidden under, my commitment to peeling back what was actually not me has been so steady. This process of re-discovering me has been a joy, and like you, I too have the amazing Natalie Benhayon for reflecting back to me what a true woman is, and for that my appreciation is immense and endless.
what a travesty that we do not consider ourselves glorious enough to reveal all of who we are in relationship with each other, and with the world. Instead so many of us play a game of being what we think we need to be in order to please everybody else – and ironically it is not just us that suffer and miss out as a result but the whole world.
Starting to really get to know ourselves is something not on many peoples radar… and yet, if we want to get of the “hamster wheel” this is the place where we all must start.
Thank you Nicole. Having met and had esoteric healing sessions with Natalie Benhayon myself, I do concur that Natalie is someone who really knows who she is as a woman and because she lives that and is so honouring of herself she is able to support so many women to come back to who they truly are.
Your words ‘As I live from this I can see all women have the same innate tenderness, power and strength; it has just been forgotten and buried under the ideals of what we believe society wants us to be.’ Made me question – who does it serve for society to want women to be any other way?
Through millennia this has been the case and with the current rapid increase in women’s health problems, that conventional medicine has no answers for and are unable to detect the root causes of, it is time that we started asking what is going on and whether it is because the true tenderness, power and strength of women has been lost that these health problems in women are so prevalent?
So gorgeous Nicole that you have grown and developed into your own beautiful divine woman; and what a woman you are. There is no doubt Natalie Benhayon is a wonderful inspirational person, as you are Nicole.
Having been a chameleon for most of my life, I am finding these days that I am enjoying asking myself what do I want instead of what does everyone else want, and if I do or say something which doesn’t fit in then that’s ok also, and it is refreshing to not worry about what others think of me. This I feel is growing due to self appreciation and having the realisation that I don’t have to be anything for anyone, and that I am enough just being me – no bells or whistles, just me.
Julie I thought I was the only person that acted and felt like a chameleon, but what I am finding is there are so many people who also have lived in the same way. It is no wonder so many people feel frustrated and “fed up” with life as I know for me, it was all about morphing into who I thought I needed to be. In that situation, there was none of the true David coming out. As you share and as Nicole share the more I simply be myself the greater I enjoy life and enjoy me.
Living in disconnection to our innermost is so common, it has become the norm in so many ways. When you describe the life you were living Nicole, before starting your sessions with Natalie Benhayon – I could definitely relate and know many others would also. The thing is most people do not recognise that they are living with this disconnection because it is reflected that this is the normal way to live. Where has this got us so far as humans? What you describe here in coming back to the connection and knowing of who you are is what so many people crave. By building this reflection, others too can feel it is possible to live with this connection, and this can in fact become the ‘normal’ way to live.
“This has been a world of discovery, seeing my beautiful playful face in the mirror and enjoying me.”
How often do we just catch ourselves in the mirror and allow ourselves to have a playful moment enjoying who we are? So often we go to the mirror looking for flaws, or confirmation that we ‘look ok’. What if instead we were open to seeing all the awesomeness we are reflected back at us to see? We can only appreciate this awesomeness in our appearance, when we can feel it and value it from deep inside ourselves. Our lived quality is what allows us to feel amazing, and never our external appearance.
Nicole I loved the list you had about getting to know yourself deeply. I was reflecting recently on how much I would change, buy clothes or not, wear certain underwear or not, depending on whether I was in a relationship or looking for one. In this I was constantly measuring how someone else would perceive me and what I wanted that response to be. In this I was never actually being honouring of myself. It has been amazing, and really beautiful to reflect on now, in developing this solidness in relationship with myself too. Buying clothes for me and because I feel to, and wearing clothes not ‘just in case’ I might bump into someone are marked changes and definitely worth celebrating!
Great ‘Down to earth’ honesty here, Nicole. I loved your statement – ‘I am looking forward to the next steps – like a gardener who keeps adding to and maintaining the beautiful space that has been created’ – for the template you have discovered is already there and has always been there, it is up to us to maintain this space – pulling the occasional weeds, turning the soil over gently to expose what needs to be exposed and being careful to tenderly nurture what is growing and producing beautifully. What is there innately and nurtured forth feeds the heart, bringing joy, harmony, stillness and love. Thank you for sharing.
Contorting and compromising ourselves is so common. When we allow ourselves to feel the freedom of honouring precisely what it is that we feel to do, it makes it much harder to go back to this way of limiting ourselves.