Many people, especially women, are put off going to the gym and lifting weights as they think it is too hard or in turn will make their body become hard, but exercise, lifting weights and the gym can be loving, nurturing and so much fun.
I used to work as a fitness instructor, personal trainer and yoga teacher, and for a while was put off going back to the gym, because I ‘thought’ it was too hard for my body, but in truth it was how I had been choosing to exercise that was hard, not the exercise itself.
In truth my body really responds to it – rather than exercise feeling like a hard slog and something I’ve got to do, I have discovered exercise feels amazing, joyful, nurturing and really supportive. For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.
It is also not about being rigid with the exercises I choose to do. Sometimes I love using free weights, at other times I feel the need for more support and use machines. I also love playing and experimenting with equipment. There may be days that I stay at the gym for 20 minutes, other days where I will be there for an hour or more, all depending on how I feel and my workload that week, e.g. if I have a long, physical week.
There are even times when I have been tired, and ‘thought’, “Oh I’ll go home and relax”… but then have chosen to go to the gym instead and done a lighter session, which in turn has felt so nurturing and supportive, and in truth re-connected me with my body, and out of my head.
One morning, whilst sitting on a weights machine, I felt so clearly in my body, that if I make exercise about my outer and how I look, I go into my head and my body hardens – it becomes about drive and something I do… Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.
Not only can going to the gym be joyful, nurturing and supportive, it also offers an opportunity to feel how I have been choosing to live in other areas of my life.
For example:
- does my body feel hard
- are there parts of my body that feel tight, heavy or stiff
- does my body feel unbalanced
- am I racy, anxious, stressed out
- am I being arrogant… thinking I know better than another
- is there a force, a drive, a push
- am I in my head thinking about lot of other stuff
- am I ignoring what my body is sharing
- is there comparison or judgement with myself and others
- am I putting myself down, disliking parts of my body, or
- am I focusing on one thing instead of feeling all of me?
…All of which is not me…
OR do I feel:
- beautiful
- sexy
- powerful
- light
- playful
- glowing
- amazing
- flowing
- tender
- harmonious
- loving
- joy-full and
- full of wonder at what my amazing body shares with me?…
… All of which is definitely all of me!
As I have found out, it is also an amazing opportunity to honour my fragility and vulnerability, to not override it and feel I have to be or act a certain way. I can feel fragile and vulnerable, be all of me and still exercise – each time my body is asking me to connect to something deeper.
So for me, going to the gym, exercise, swimming and walking is not a ‘should do’ or a ‘have to do’ – it is a ‘love to do’ – it is about joyfully connecting, honouring, nurturing and committing to myself and to my body, so that it will be of support no matter what is truly asked of it.
It is with thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Caroline Raphael, who have inspired and reminded me to choose love again.
By Gyl Rae, BA Hons Fine Art, PGDE, DIP Personal Training & Sports Therapy
438 Comments
I love exercising in the morning. Having time with my body before the day starts. It feels energising as it always does when I connect to my body.
There is a ‘gym consciousness’ that I used to be very much a part of. I understand it much better since understanding that our thoughts, speech and movements are governed by our preceding thoughts, speech and movements. This fact combined with the fact that when we buy into consciousnesses, they come in pre packed bundles. Therefore when I went to the gym to look better and keep my body firm and sculptured then it ensured that I would move in a particular way. One of those predetermined movements was constantly checking myself out in the mirror and another was comparing myself to others. Now that I go to the gym to connect more deeply with me then my movements are very different indeed, one example being that I do nearly all of my workout with my eyes closed.
Exercise is an integral ingredient in supporting our overall health and well-being. It is also far more enjoyable when we allow it to be light-hearted and fun and not a burden or a chore.
I absolutely love exercising, it is a time for me to strengthen my connection with my body, a time when I focus on the detail of my body more deeply and although I am aware that all moments in time offer this opportunity, exercise seems to be the time that I am able to really seize the opportunity the most.
Gyl, I loved reading this article. I can feel how I had thought that going to the gym was a very masculine, hard thing to do and that I had written it off, but what you are sharing in this article about it being about how we exercise not the exercise itself, makes me reconsider about going to the gym.
R-learning to exercise in the most gentle way while staying focused on our breathing, which should also be at-least gentle allows our body energy levels and vitality to increase measurably.
I love going to the gym. It supports me to do my job with ease rather than my job draining me because I am not fit enough to do it. It’s important to listen to my body while at the gym because if not I am worn out and often sore for days afterwards. Going there, working out to whatever limit my body has that day leaves me feeling energised and supported.
Some great questions to ask ourselves in order to gauge our quality. I used to push myself at the gym and now I am learning the importance of listening to my body and getting an understanding of how to respond to it not how to control it.
‘it was how I had been choosing to exercise that was hard, not the exercise itself.’ We can adapt any exercise to suit ourselves and the personal trainer helps us to do this but it is not often that they suggest we connect to our bodies and allow our movements to come from there and not our heads. When we have this body awareness and bring it to our exercises at the gym the exercises feels so different in our body and we can so much more easily gauge what is supporting us or not. It is the quality in our body and how we move in that quality that is the foundation of the health benefit we derive from our work out.
I used to enjoy working out at the gym, but realise I would push and override my body at times, coming from my head and my drive to be fit. My health does not allow me to go to the gym now, but when I last went my purpose was to stay connected with my body, to be really present with me and what my body was conveying to me, and to honour that.
Life becomes a Love to do in all we do when the Love we are is deeply connected to.
Imagine the hoohaa associated with man going to the moon or inventing the internet. This stuff is so minor compared to rediscovering our essence and how to live from that. Once redound it changes everything we do and the end result of how you feel in you. Huge!
It feels to me that going to the moon is an elaborate and rather expensive distraction. Anything that doesn’t suppprt our journey inwards is a distraction from the truth of who we all are.
When exercise for me was about ideals of body image my approach to exercise felt really awful. There was a desperation and fear I wouldn’t be good enough unless I looked a certain way so the way I exercised was often punishing in the sense of pushing myself and being motivated by stress and fear. I didn’t know how to connect to me or appreciate all that I already was in terms of the qualities I held as a woman. Finding Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health has transformed every part of my life including exercise because I’ve been able to re-connect to the essence of me and love and appreciate myself, as well as listen to my body and respond gently and lovingly to it. It’s changed my relationship to everything in life because my relationship to me has changed.
Thank you Gyl for sharing all you have learnt from how to approach exercise gently and be with yourself. So often exercise is treated as a have-to, something we endure because of how we push ourselves and then reap the rewards of feeling better later. What you have shown is it doesn’t have to be this way, we can actually be deeply attentive to our bodies and enjoy exercising, adjusting the way we exercise depending on how our body feels each day. This is a great line and confirms how I now approach exercise too “I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me”.
I love those lighter sessions, when its been a busy time and the body feels tired, but the gentle exercise warms me up, stretches things out and keeps me solidly in my body so I can feel what is going on and where I’m at. Often I’ll leave such a session feeling invigorated and very steady… and definitely more myself.
Last week I found myself in a bit of a funk. I went to the gym and it wasn’t just the endorphins but the presence of me being with my body and working with it that left me feeling lighter at the end.
I am very lucky to have a great piece of gym equipment at home which I use for 10 minutes every day. That is all it takes, it is very enjoyable and makes a big beneficial difference oh and yes I feel all those me things from your second list 🙂
In my case, for long time I thought that the images that are around exercising were what this really was, and I reacted to that, not choosing to explore my own way.
I have avoided the gym during most of my life, because due to those images, I had the belief that it was something imposing to my body. However the most imposing thing was the thought I accepted of how I had to exercise (hard, pushing, long hours, competing, …). When I questioned those thoughts and opened up to a new way of exercising, connected to the way I feel and honouring the rhythm, intensity and quality that I need, then I’ve truly found a healthy and enjoying way to be fit.
Your title reflects how foundational loving yourself is to going to the gym and exercising in a way that is sustainable.
The quality in which we move in life is the key rather than the particular exercise. Just as here is always the opportunity to deepen the connection and relationship we have with our bodies and innermost.
I just signed back up at the gym after having a few months off and as soon as I walked in, I felt how much my body missed exercising and the commitment. I could relate to going into my head whenever I think of wanting to change a part of my body or thinking I need to fix my body in some way. My body loves to move, and when I stay connected to my breath and my whole body as I exercise, it can be an enormous support to my overall health and wellbeing.
I also love going to the gym. It is a an excellent way of really focusing being in the body. When I start ofF like that I mostly have a great day after that fitness session, because I am more in my body.
As I am getting physically older I am feeling more and more inspired to have more exercise in my life, I am going swimming more now then ever and my body is loving it.
Yes I agree as I am getting older (6th decade) I am enjoying exercise more than ever and love my gym and big morning walk. It feels particularly important and supportive and I look and feel better than ever!
I love going for my daily walk, a stop moment, to spend time connecting with my body and appreciating nature around me.
Hmmm.. This is actually a very very good point raised.. I can feel how much I have been caught up in my life that fitness/excercise is hard and actually makes my body hard.. I have for long resisted going to the gym or do any excersise at all, disempowering myself as to that I could and was actually capable of that. When I read it now and especially relate it to my observations from around me and woman, I can feel that by not excercising our bodies we actually disempower us. Hence this is a truly remarkable blog, one that we shall all read, and than look back at our lives and see how we can make excercise part of our everyday. Lovingly so. As hardening ourselves is not needed.
This is a gorgeous blog. Clearly it is possible to do well and to enjoy your visits to the gym. When I regularly went 30 years ago I remember it as a struggle. It felt good afterwards but the process wasn’t fun.
Likewise Christoph, my youthful experience of exercise was that it was basically torture – it hurt and there was a ‘no pain, no gain’ mentality. These days I do it to support what is needed in my day to day, and because it makes my body feel pretty wonderful.
When I exercise I often feel lighter in my body and then have more energy for the day. When I let this slip I am often exhausted and then crave sweet things which leaves me more tired and irritated and less likely to exercise as I feel sluggish and unmotivated.
Yes, exercise is very helpful. The key is to find ways of making it fun and enjoying it. Then it is much easier to do every day.
I hear you MW when I get into that cycle of not exercising, therefore feeling sluggish, weak in my body, not interested, tired and couldn’t be bothered, I make it all about me. When I exercise, like you, I have more energy and therefore am more there for myself and also others.
“..it becomes about drive and something I do.. ”
If one makes it about something I do, then the only way that can be done is with drive and no true purpose.
The true exercise of life is connection. Living and grooving, stretching and strutting your stuff – everything is resplendent when you move with yourself. Thank you Gyl for the great reminder.
So true and when we follow our body’s lead we can feel what supports us throughout our day.
It’s no mistake that our spirit turns physical exercise into a struggle, an ordeal, a competition, and an adrenaline rush. It’s just trying to distract from the fact that beautiful connected movement is the real deal and cuts its control over our body. Thank you Gyl for this timely exercise reminder.
Discovering that it is actually possible to exercise gently , working with the body rather then driving it, is indeed a revelation.
I have recently had a moment in my life where I have felt that the way i am exercising needs to change. So I didn’t do anything for 3 weeks. And I felt this was not supportive for my body – so i have started to introduce gentle exercise based on how my body is feeling – not what the result should make me look like. A huge difference that I am enjoying and exploring and feeling the settlement in my body that was not there befoe.
‘For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.’ And this can be quite a challenge in how the gym areas have been set up. Set up in a way we get distracted easily by big screens, loud music and mirrors everywhere, makes it very clear how it is more about disconnecting and just do do do the training and not about building a body of love through connection.
There is no doubt that our body so beautifully responds to love, and whenever we connect to love our movements magnify this quality, as do our bodies.