Many people, especially women, are put off going to the gym and lifting weights as they think it is too hard or in turn will make their body become hard, but exercise, lifting weights and the gym can be loving, nurturing and so much fun.
I used to work as a fitness instructor, personal trainer and yoga teacher, and for a while was put off going back to the gym, because I ‘thought’ it was too hard for my body, but in truth it was how I had been choosing to exercise that was hard, not the exercise itself.
In truth my body really responds to it – rather than exercise feeling like a hard slog and something I’ve got to do, I have discovered exercise feels amazing, joyful, nurturing and really supportive. For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.
It is also not about being rigid with the exercises I choose to do. Sometimes I love using free weights, at other times I feel the need for more support and use machines. I also love playing and experimenting with equipment. There may be days that I stay at the gym for 20 minutes, other days where I will be there for an hour or more, all depending on how I feel and my workload that week, e.g. if I have a long, physical week.
There are even times when I have been tired, and ‘thought’, “Oh I’ll go home and relax”… but then have chosen to go to the gym instead and done a lighter session, which in turn has felt so nurturing and supportive, and in truth re-connected me with my body, and out of my head.
One morning, whilst sitting on a weights machine, I felt so clearly in my body, that if I make exercise about my outer and how I look, I go into my head and my body hardens – it becomes about drive and something I do… Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.
Not only can going to the gym be joyful, nurturing and supportive, it also offers an opportunity to feel how I have been choosing to live in other areas of my life.
For example:
- does my body feel hard
- are there parts of my body that feel tight, heavy or stiff
- does my body feel unbalanced
- am I racy, anxious, stressed out
- am I being arrogant… thinking I know better than another
- is there a force, a drive, a push
- am I in my head thinking about lot of other stuff
- am I ignoring what my body is sharing
- is there comparison or judgement with myself and others
- am I putting myself down, disliking parts of my body, or
- am I focusing on one thing instead of feeling all of me?
…All of which is not me…
OR do I feel:
- beautiful
- sexy
- powerful
- light
- playful
- glowing
- amazing
- flowing
- tender
- harmonious
- loving
- joy-full and
- full of wonder at what my amazing body shares with me?…
… All of which is definitely all of me!
As I have found out, it is also an amazing opportunity to honour my fragility and vulnerability, to not override it and feel I have to be or act a certain way. I can feel fragile and vulnerable, be all of me and still exercise – each time my body is asking me to connect to something deeper.
So for me, going to the gym, exercise, swimming and walking is not a ‘should do’ or a ‘have to do’ – it is a ‘love to do’ – it is about joyfully connecting, honouring, nurturing and committing to myself and to my body, so that it will be of support no matter what is truly asked of it.
It is with thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Caroline Raphael, who have inspired and reminded me to choose love again.
By Gyl Rae, BA Hons Fine Art, PGDE, DIP Personal Training & Sports Therapy
452 Comments
I love those lighter sessions, when its been a busy time and the body feels tired, but the gentle exercise warms me up, stretches things out and keeps me solidly in my body so I can feel what is going on and where I’m at. Often I’ll leave such a session feeling invigorated and very steady… and definitely more myself.
I am very lucky to have a great piece of gym equipment at home which I use for 10 minutes every day. That is all it takes, it is very enjoyable and makes a big beneficial difference oh and yes I feel all those me things from your second list 🙂
In my case, for long time I thought that the images that are around exercising were what this really was, and I reacted to that, not choosing to explore my own way.
I have avoided the gym during most of my life, because due to those images, I had the belief that it was something imposing to my body. However the most imposing thing was the thought I accepted of how I had to exercise (hard, pushing, long hours, competing, …). When I questioned those thoughts and opened up to a new way of exercising, connected to the way I feel and honouring the rhythm, intensity and quality that I need, then I’ve truly found a healthy and enjoying way to be fit.
Your title reflects how foundational loving yourself is to going to the gym and exercising in a way that is sustainable.
The choice of how we approach anything in life is important – especially the energy we align with. Learning to live from a foundation of self-love transforms many if not most activities into fun and joy-full experiences and expressions.
The quality in which we move in life is the key rather than the particular exercise. Just as here is always the opportunity to deepen the connection and relationship we have with our bodies and innermost.
I just signed back up at the gym after having a few months off and as soon as I walked in, I felt how much my body missed exercising and the commitment. I could relate to going into my head whenever I think of wanting to change a part of my body or thinking I need to fix my body in some way. My body loves to move, and when I stay connected to my breath and my whole body as I exercise, it can be an enormous support to my overall health and wellbeing.
I also love going to the gym. It is a an excellent way of really focusing being in the body. When I start ofF like that I mostly have a great day after that fitness session, because I am more in my body.
As I am getting physically older I am feeling more and more inspired to have more exercise in my life, I am going swimming more now then ever and my body is loving it.
Yes I agree as I am getting older (6th decade) I am enjoying exercise more than ever and love my gym and big morning walk. It feels particularly important and supportive and I look and feel better than ever!
When we exercise from a connection to our body and being present with ourselves, the way we move our body completely changes to become far more tender, flowing and in consideration of ourselves and our true rhythm. It makes exercising light, playful and fun, something I never felt several years ago when my focus was on creating an image and reaching goals as fast as possible.
Hmmm.. This is actually a very very good point raised.. I can feel how much I have been caught up in my life that fitness/excercise is hard and actually makes my body hard.. I have for long resisted going to the gym or do any excersise at all, disempowering myself as to that I could and was actually capable of that. When I read it now and especially relate it to my observations from around me and woman, I can feel that by not excercising our bodies we actually disempower us. Hence this is a truly remarkable blog, one that we shall all read, and than look back at our lives and see how we can make excercise part of our everyday. Lovingly so. As hardening ourselves is not needed.
This is a gorgeous blog. Clearly it is possible to do well and to enjoy your visits to the gym. When I regularly went 30 years ago I remember it as a struggle. It felt good afterwards but the process wasn’t fun.
Likewise Christoph, my youthful experience of exercise was that it was basically torture – it hurt and there was a ‘no pain, no gain’ mentality. These days I do it to support what is needed in my day to day, and because it makes my body feel pretty wonderful.
It makes such a difference to do exercise from an appreciation of your body rather than from a lack of acceptance of it.
When I exercise I often feel lighter in my body and then have more energy for the day. When I let this slip I am often exhausted and then crave sweet things which leaves me more tired and irritated and less likely to exercise as I feel sluggish and unmotivated.
Yes, exercise is very helpful. The key is to find ways of making it fun and enjoying it. Then it is much easier to do every day.
I hear you MW when I get into that cycle of not exercising, therefore feeling sluggish, weak in my body, not interested, tired and couldn’t be bothered, I make it all about me. When I exercise, like you, I have more energy and therefore am more there for myself and also others.
“..it becomes about drive and something I do.. ”
If one makes it about something I do, then the only way that can be done is with drive and no true purpose.
The true exercise of life is connection. Living and grooving, stretching and strutting your stuff – everything is resplendent when you move with yourself. Thank you Gyl for the great reminder.
So true and when we follow our body’s lead we can feel what supports us throughout our day.
It’s no mistake that our spirit turns physical exercise into a struggle, an ordeal, a competition, and an adrenaline rush. It’s just trying to distract from the fact that beautiful connected movement is the real deal and cuts its control over our body. Thank you Gyl for this timely exercise reminder.
Discovering that it is actually possible to exercise gently , working with the body rather then driving it, is indeed a revelation.
I have recently had a moment in my life where I have felt that the way i am exercising needs to change. So I didn’t do anything for 3 weeks. And I felt this was not supportive for my body – so i have started to introduce gentle exercise based on how my body is feeling – not what the result should make me look like. A huge difference that I am enjoying and exploring and feeling the settlement in my body that was not there befoe.
‘For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.’ And this can be quite a challenge in how the gym areas have been set up. Set up in a way we get distracted easily by big screens, loud music and mirrors everywhere, makes it very clear how it is more about disconnecting and just do do do the training and not about building a body of love through connection.
When we exercise in connection with the wisdom of our body our movements will be loving, nurturing and supportive of our health and wellbeing.
There is no doubt that our body so beautifully responds to love, and whenever we connect to love our movements magnify this quality, as do our bodies.
‘Again!’ ‘harder!’ – it’s so ingrained in us to push further, to go to another level, not to rest but keep going ‘just that little bit more’. Yet this is a remnant of living life from extremes instead of tuning in to how we feel in our being. We don’t have to wait for things to break down to say ‘that’s enough for now’. Thank you Gyl.
Redefining the way we exercise is extraordinarily liberating and of course, extremely good for our bodies 🙂 …Our hearts, and indeed our general well-being
Redefining the way we exercise is extraordinarily liberating and of course, extremely good for our bodies 🙂
What is life changing about doing exercise and light weight workouts compared to lifting heavy weights and pushing the body to its limits (straining it and placing it into hardness) is maintaining the vulnerability and tenderness while I work out, through either my gentle breath, connection to my body, feeling my touch in my hands and feet on the ground, or the purpose to supporting my whole body.
I agree Gyl, I have also found my body responds to exercise well so long as I stay present and in connection with the flow of my movements that maintains a natural harmony within my body. If I disconnect and then push too hard my body then communicates to come back to myself.
I have recently started a more consistent exercise routine and I am amazed at how much it supports me in my day. When I go for a walk or a swim each morning, I feel lighter, more focused and have more energy. When I don’t my body is more sluggish during the day.
Gyl, I love this; ‘if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.’ I can feel how I have been put off going to the gym, thinking it will be hard on my body, but what you are sharing here feels very nurturing and loving, it’s great how you listen to your body and do exercise in a way that supports your body, rather than pushing yourself and having a goal of how long to exercise for.
Any excuse is a good excuse to connect to the body – not that we need an excuse at all because the opportunity is always there, no matter what we’re doing, how we are moving or where we are. The body is always with us and aches for our focus, attention and connection. I wonder if that is what body aches and pains are about..?
I was talking to a friend today who told me she used to exercise so hard that sometimes she would be sick. Its funny how something like exercise is considered healthy when there are millions of ways we can do it without regard therefore making the whole process harmful.
When exercise is approached in a way that is flexible and not hard and rigid and when we stay connected as we move with the body listening and being aware of our movements and enjoying being present with ourselves exercise becomes a natural and enjoyable activity that supports our health and well-being.
As I read your list of qualities that are you Gyl I cannot but realise that we don’t stop as our days play out and appreciate ourselves nearly enough.
I love this Gyl, what you write makes sooo much sense, if we make exercise about our outer and how we look we will for sure go into hardness, a drive a feel competitive where as if we make it about connection and support we feel the lightness and joy.
Awesome summary Gyl.
We can let life’s events get in the way of what we truly know supports us every day. And then after a while we turn around aghast, as if to say ‘gosh how did things get in such a bad way?!’. But we do know, because it was when we overlooked what we knew deep inside. We can have grand dreams and big plans but in my experience they are built on the loving and supportive building blocks of caring for me. Thank you Gyl.
There can be such a beauty and flow in moving the body in gentle exercise especially exercises such as lifting weights and resistance exercise.
Going to the gym is part of my weekly dose of medicine in loving and supporting my body. It feels oh so gorgeous to feel the expansion in my body when I am exercising from love of myself and the support it offers in the week is no different to the support of taking mineral supplements my body needs or having a nourishing shower.
I attended a local gym a few weeks ago. It took me a while to let go of many issues in the lead up and then out of the blue I decided to go. When I got to the gym there was a lot of anxiousness there to be released which I found rather overwhelming but I asked for support and it was there waiting. I felt so much joy connecting to my body during the exercising and working with the weights and machines and the length of time I felt to… a very different approach to the hard pushing and driving that I became so familiar with when I attended the gym many years ago.