I spent most of my life trying to make time and space for me, to be by myself. I would work really hard to create this space and time. I felt I was only truly happy and relaxed when I was on my own. I could breathe freely, and do what I liked, when I liked, with no one making demands on me, judging me or telling me what to do.
Why did I feel that I needed to be alone to be myself? Why was I like this?
When I was young, I got hurt. Nothing terrible happened, but I felt hurt that people did not truly see me and feel how lovely I was, and appreciate me – just for being me. From that time I found it hard to be myself around people, even though I loved them, as I was always trying to please everybody (which is exhausting) and so, I was always looking for ways to be alone.
The irony was that despite this deep desire to be alone, I rarely was. I worked with people, I was nearly always in a relationship, and once I had children, I was never alone! This desire to be alone when I was always surrounded by people, created a great deal of tension in my body and in my life.
Nowadays, I rarely have a moment to myself, and yet I rarely feel the same tension. When I do, I know that something is not right with me.
So, what has changed?
I have let people in. Not through the front door, or into my bed (except my husband!), but into my heart and into my world.
I have allowed people to see all of me. Now I do not hide the parts I don’t like much and I do not pretend to be someone I am not.
I am much more accepting of myself, and so I am much more accepting of everyone else, with all their foibles, weaknesses, and great beauty. When I allow them to see all of me, I can see all of them… and we are all mainly wonderful.
I like myself, and that has made it much more possible to like other people.
What I have learnt is that everyone I meet is reflecting something to me, so everyone becomes a gift, and every meeting is a great opportunity to learn more about myself and other people.
Having time and space alone can be lovely – an opportunity to deeply connect with myself. But if I ever feel like I need time and space to be by myself now, I ask myself: what is going on? Usually this happens because I have reacted to someone, felt hurt, taken something personally, and then gone into a ‘shut down’ state – wanting to withdraw from people, trying to protect myself from further hurt. I have learned that this does not work! It creates a wall between me and other people, and this wall does not protect me. All it does is stop me from seeing and feeling what is true, which is the great beauty that other people are, and that I am too.
We don’t always behave beautifully, but we are lovely, and if I remain aware of that I am not so hurt by another’s behaviour, even if it may be love-less. I now see the love-less behaviour as something that the person has done, and not who they are. And I know that because we are love; if our behaviour is loveless, in that moment we are not truly being ourselves.
If I am just being myself there is a great space within me, and all the time in the world. And this spaciousness spreads and extends from within me and is all around me, and I live and breathe and move in this space.
This spaciousness that I am feeling has a quality of lightness and loveliness, of being able to breathe freely and move flowingly and feel connected with everyone and everything around me. I feel open within, and therefore open to everyone and everything else. It feels like there is no beginning and no end to me.
I then share this space with everyone else, joyfully feeling that they hold the same quality, which is love, within them.
I share it with my husband, my children, my family and friends and everyone I meet. I don’t feel that work is hard work, even though I work hard – for it is a chance to be with people, whom I love. I don’t feel I need time away from my family, for I love to be with them, and share my spacious space with them!
Making time and space for me now means to hold that feeling, to be aware of the loveliness that lives within me, and to always live in that. And then I have all the time and space in the world… just being me.
I am forever inspired by the life and work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Anne Malatt, woman, doctor, wife, mother, grandmother, Northern NSW, Australia
Accepting All of You
Inspired by Universal Medicine… Just Being Me
A Space Just For Me
Thank you, Anne. I can very much relate to craving ‘alone time’ all my life, and can now also recognise that it was because I was still holding onto hurts and protecting myself from the world. The more deeply I connect to myself, the more relaxed and open I am with others, and as you have so beautifully shared, the feeling of spaciousness within and without is incredible.
Is it possible that when we are craving time alone, that is when we need to spend some time with others? I have often found if I just get over whatever hurdle I have to not seeing someone, the effort is well and truly worth it.
This is gorgeous Anne. You have made me look at my constant desire to have time with myself. And you are right, it does feel true that when I am by myself I don’t feel pressured or have anyone around to ask anything of me. I can just be me. However, the slant you propose makes me ask ‘why can’t I just be me when others are around, despite what they may be asking/demanding/needing’. Something to toy with here … thank you.
I asked the same question of myself Maree, ‘why need there be any difference?’ exposing to me how readily the choice to slip into comfort is there for me, when no one else is around.
Yes Giselle, you nailed it.
Totally nailed it. I get to be me, when no one is watching. How crazy is that.
I agree, there are often times where I think I want space to myself to reconnect to my inner heart and as you say, just be me; but the truth is that I connect far more quickly, deeply and truly when I am actually interacting and expressing with others. The hurt I similarly carried when I was young had me believing I needed to get it right or be perfect before I could be with others and having time on my own was my answer to trying to get there!
Anne, I love what you share here. ‘when I was young, I got hurt’, took me back to a pivotal moment in my twenties when something happened that created feelings of deep hurt and rejection. I withdrew from sharing homes with people, started to live on my own and harboured the belief, until now, that if I lived on my own, I wouldn’t get hurt. Living alone was my way of keeping a protective wall around myself, even when in intimate relationships, my home (or a room) was always a place to retreat to, where I felt safe. Things have changed, I’ve found a place of safety within myself, learned to let people in and chosen to work and live with clients in their homes. It was a revelation to find how easy it was to share space with others and learned to appreciate the daily gifts bestowed on me. Each reflection welcomed and an invitation to be more in relationship with others. As I open up to the true me, I am infinitely more open with others. It’s a beautiful time.
The freedom that letting others in after all the years of defending the walls to keep them out sounds like an easy task to complete! With years of defending, one can forget what it is like not to always be ready for an imminent attack. The world has always been a not nice place, by not enjoining in this we are setting the new standard.
Yes very true Steve it is simple and just a matter of choice. To hold on to our walls of protection just because we had them up for so long is just a lame accuse to not take responsibility and go for what our heart tells us.
Great observation Steve… and how often do we worry about opening ourselves up (to a myriad of harms that we worry about), only to find that by opening up a new door, a better relationship, a gorgeous opportunity is actually what manifests?
I could recognise myself in much of what you have written here Anne. Letting people in has been one of the hardest things for me to overcome and I am still learning this. The hurts I carried meant that I found it easier to shut out the world and live from a place I would not get hurt. The pain in my body this caused was permanent and very debilitating, yet was and old and familiar pattern I seemed to be unable to shift. Through Universal Medicine I have learnt that letting people in is the antidote to my hurts so if I get hurt now I look at why I feel hurt and instead of burying my hurt as I used to I catch it straight away and talk about it so that I don’t let it linger and fest.
Dear Anne this is pure inspirstion I am also learning again to open up more and let people in and stop the pleasingthing more and more all this allows me to be more and more myself and this equally so no matter where or with who I am with and what I do or dont do. Its a work in progress and expressing now what is there and what I feel and sharing life together is of great assistsance for me as well as being more aware of my body. Letting go control is a thing I noticed yesterday and to feel that when I am in control there is tension and I cant really let go. So its really an unfolding process in which I get more and more understanding. Thank You for sharing and inspiring us. With love Nadine
It’s important what you have mentioned here about control as with this in our bodies we are in a tension; the complete opposite to feeling how light we are on our toes and the spaciousness of just being ourselves.
I remember a time where I would hide away from people not only because I was hurt by them but also because I was making choices I did not want the world to see. I have seen this in other people too. We know at times that what we choose is not good for us, or not the fair choice or simply loveless and so we try and hide, thinking that if none sees it, it will not be so bad. This is an illusion though as every choice we make impacts ourselves, our bodies and all around us.
I agree Carolien – it is an illusion to think that we can hide the actions we make when we are on our own, our own body is always carrying the result of how we are living and treating ourselves.
Yes Eva, so true the body always will show, or just the state of being the behaviour you tried to hide leaves you in can never be hidden.
This is an awesome blog Anne as there are so many who feel they need ‘me time” To me it shows just how much we are not ourselves during the day if we need special time out to be able to be ourselves. It is exhausting to wear a mask, play a role and adjust to those around us constantly. And so the ‘me time; still does not really become a me time as we use it to numb and district ourselves from feeling the emptiness and exhaustion that comes from not being ourselves in all we do.
I agree Carolien it does show how little we allow ourselves to be when we are among each other. So it is not so much about alone time but about learning not to put on an act when we are with each other.
Yes, it is exhausting to be something we are not. Full stop.
Wanting space or time to ourselves can be a clear indication that we are feeling the tension of not being ourselves in the moment or situation. This holding back robs everyone of the joy and love that we all are when we simply allow being present with ourselves.
Yes there is true me time, and not-so-true me time… The latter is when we choose to avoid connecting with our bodies by distracting ourselves, such as by watching TV, eating foods, going on social media etc., or even time we spend without these things that we use to avoid life and the ‘real world’.
Dear Susie I can relate to what you have shared in your awesome comment. The true “me time” fills me up and the “not so true me time” exhausted me and leaves me in a way empty and alone.
I too find the same Anne, the more I have grown in self-acceptance and understanding the more I hold others in that same too, the easier it is to see beyond unloving behaviours.
If we would all start to allow ourselves to accept more, depend the relationship and honoring more who we are, imagine the love that is to grow between each other! Daily trouble and fights of intentions like “get off me” or “why didn’t you do better” would melt, wouldn’t it? Just imagine politicians talk like that, businessmen make deals on that base – doctor’s treat their patients liken that, bus drivers ride the buses in this ease…* Feels much less under tension – doesn’t it?
I would say that any judgement held upon another is a mirrored image of the judgement we hold upon ourselves and so to bring this self-acceptance and understanding to us; is automatically how we bring and hold it with other people. It’s evolution and healing for everyone involved.
and how great is it when we can differentiate the behaviour not being the person, but just the behaviour.
Yes and when there is understanding and no need for others to act in a certain way, I feel the freedom and space this creates in me and in relationships with others.
Absolutely Rosie, that way, we can detach from the situation and stay connected to our own steady love and hold the other within that.
Well said Josephine – How we treat, react or understand others is a direct reflection of how we are with ourselves first. How can we truly love another or accept them without judgment if we do not hold or have an understanding of what that feels like with ourselves?
Thank you Anne, this article highlights how your relationship with yourself allows you to openly have a relationship with everyone else equally. It is what I now see as a normal way of living and one that I have also been working on with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I still very much find that time alone is also important and being able to be with yourself and really enjoy you is a huge factor that I am personally building my relationship with and finding it hugely supportive.
This is beautiful Anne, as what you describe here is really making life one whole, as opposed to different parts. When we create partitions or blocks – between people, work and home then this requires energy, and it drains us naturally so. We are designed to live in this unified way, whereby we can allow ourselves to not be affected by our surroundings, and the people in it. What you describe here is a truly wise approach to life, and many are now able to learn from your lived wisdom and experience.
What is being described is a life with flow. No boxes, no compartments. The flow of life is much easier to be in than when we try to box it. Can you imagine trying to do that to the flow of a river? Amelia, you are spot on, we are designed to live in a unified way.
Anne, I really appreciated reading this, thank you and learnt a lot from your experience of lightness and spaciousness and the connection with space and all those around us.
That is what stood out for me as well – the acceptance I hold for myself is reflected in the acceptance I have of others, and not the other way around. And the same goes for judging others which will only ever stop when we don’t judge ourselves anymore.
Exactly. And if I do not give myself the space to be me, I will not allow others to be who they really are when they are with me, so a real connection will not be possible as both of us then are only playing a role.
Letting others be, in their different ways, simply letting them be is becoming a more normal way of living that brings an ease I wasn’t aware of.
Creating space to allow myself to feel that absolute preciousness I am EVEN there are things that are not “perfect”. This is something I had to re-learn, because I was raised and always lived with the believe of absoluteness of perfection. I lived with the ideals of how I had to be, no matter if it was self-made or put on me by demands of the outside world. Letting go of this imprint opens up myself for me – and within that space there is so much more understanding, allowance and accepting for others – that helps to let them in more and more. To trust myself again and bring this up in full. Thanks for your blog, Anne. Great reflection!
To choose to feel our preciousness even in the face of imperfections, aches, pains, emotions, judgements or comparisons that may be hanging around is seemingly huge but only while we don’t make the choice, which is just a choice, when made everything levels out and becomes stable once again. Thank you for this reminder Christina and thank you for this blog Anne.
Yes, this is such a great point to consider.
Yes, i have come to realise the same thing.
If we hold a judgement of ourselves we will naturally extend this to others.
When we Love and appreciate ourselves no end, this naturally extends to all in our sphere.
I agree Gabriele, the more that I accept, love and embrace myself it reflects in how I am with the world.
I whole heartedly agree Fiona and Gabriele. My acceptance of other people, how they live, what they do, etc has expanded since I’ve accepted myself more and stopped judging myself or giving myself a hard time when I get things wrong. It absolutely starts with how we are with ourselves first and then we are naturally more open, loving and accepting of others.
It is so true, the way I am with myself has changed so much since I am a student of Universal Medicine. And this is the key to the changes in my interactions with people. I meet amazing people in my life, and have honest conversations, deep appreciation with another and that way life is such a joy and I love meeting people from this loving accepting space that I have for myself.
What you have so beautifully written Anne rings so very true for me too. In the past, right from childhood, I spent so much time and effort trying to be alone and then if I found myself alone I still wasn’t “happy”; something was still missing. I know now that that something was me; the true me who loves to be with people, who now opens her heart and her life to others, and who simply loves “being me”.
That is great Anne and an important revelation to make. I know myself I used to want the end of the day so I could collapse in front of the tv which I deemed my ‘alone’ time. But it wasn’t really all it did was distract me from me. The same goes like you have found when I want alone time it is usually because I have allowed something to get to me, to frustrate me and so I want a breather from it or some time or space to cool down. Being viewing and seeing life more and more as energy first I have become far less reactive and so reflecting on how I am living I also find I do not need alone time anymore but do not mind it when I have it!
I agree James, the more we are naturally ourselves and remain ourselves during the day, the less time out we need. This is pretty extraordinary stuff really, for it is not the experience of most, thinking that being or working with people is what is draining. But it’s simply not true. We drain ourselves by the brick walls we put up in an attempt to protect ourselves.
We also drain ourselves by the roles we take on in life rather than being in life connected to who we truly are. There is such an effortlessness being open to others in contrast when I am trying to be a ‘good or helpful’ colleague, partner, sister etc….
I know what you mean James and that alone time always seems to eave me still empty and things I was trying to avoid are all still there to have to face at some point.
Yes James, I can certainly relate to having some alone time in front of the TV but it was just an escape from what I did not want to deal with and of course it did not work because the issue was still there when I turned off the TV and tried to go to sleep.
I love what you have shared here James that you also dont mind it when you have it.
This is great what you bring Anne, that the space your where looking for is simply within you. I know this too Anne, that I am looking for space to be with myself, and that in that I have the idea that I need to be on my own, in separation of other people. But in fact we all equally carry this spaciousness in us, we only have to connect to this. And when in connection to this spaciousness inside, it does not matter where I am and what I do as I am with myself all the time. How simple life can be!
Good point Nico. There is not a worry in the world when we are connected to ourselves and we can be anywhere as we are our glorious selves. Absolute simplicity.
Beautiful blog Anne, I love this line: “Making time and space for me now means to hold that feeling, to be aware of the loveliness that lives within me, and to always live in that.” and it sounds like a lovely thing I am going to do today.
It sounds to me like a love affair with self. Gorgeous. Loving ourselves first allows this love to then flow to others.
I agree, Anne. Only loving ourselves first in a way which allows no compromises enables us to love others.
I know that “shut down” mode so well and it has been an awesome experience to actually do the opposite when l want to go and hide away from others. lnstead l now reach out more readily. This has changed my whole experience of hurtful moments. l find in reaching out and talking to others there’s a healing that happens much quicker and l am back in the saddle much quicker. Otherwise when l went into hiding l could be gone for days or weeks.
I can relate to this as well Irena, by coming back to myself more and more I understand how my body moves and how I interact with others in ‘shut down mode’. Clocking this has made what used to be a week long reaction into…30 minutes..10 minutes. Often it’s not about the other person in the first place, it’s my own reaction to previous choices of which is just being reflected to me via another. Attacking the mirror doesn’t change the reflection! nor does attacking ourselves because that brings about the ‘shut down mode’ as well. Knowing that there is always me, a lovely being, within that can be connected to has been my rock throughout this whole process and continues to be, the more I am with this the less likely I am to want to be alone with me because the ‘alone me’ is just hurt and reactive and doesn’t want to look at her choices.
“Attacking the mirror doesn’t change the reflection!” – Love this Leigh…How true. Whats reflected will just come up again somewhere else.
Me too Irena, especially as a child, I was very good at hiding – I was living in my own world, totally separated from others. And as you today I know, that hiding doesn’t make sense and the healing is much quicker, when I look for support or express what has hurt me.
Thank you, Anne, I really enjoyed your article. Two things bounced out at me: The realisation that those walls of protection we put up actually imprison us rather than protect us; and that the ‘me time’ that depends on being alone is actually ‘run away from me time’. You have shared brilliantly how taking ourselves in full into all our interactions, every day, is more honouring and expansive than scheduling in time alone that is in some way perceived as the only way we can be connected and in relationship with ourselves. I certainly learn and grow more in life than avoiding it.
It is interesting how by trying to protect us from something we actually do the exact opposite of what we want to do. Instead of freeing us from the situation we bring us further into its clutches.
Protection to find freedom sounds as absurd as fighting for peace. If we feel that a certain way is how things should be, it is our part and responsibility to make the first step towards exactly that.
Those protective walls are indeed imprisoning! Time to let them down and enjoy the wonderfulness of everyone we meet.
Thank you Anne for a wonderful article, I can relate to your experiences. I particularly love this sentence – ‘What I have learnt is that everyone I meet is reflecting something to me, so everyone becomes a gift, and every meeting is a great opportunity to learn more about myself and other people.’ ! This is a clear and simple statement that allows us, if willing, to learn so much about ourselves.
I agree Susan, this sentence of Anne’s stood out to me too. What a great way to approach life, every moment of interaction with anyone is something precious, so often we can be in function and just keep the interaction minimal, neither person really there.
Yes we are often so blinded and miss out on all the beautiful opportunities and encounters we have in life because we are so preoccupied with other things, protecting ourselves, thinking about what has been or will come all the while love is standing in front of us all the time.
Hello Esther and too true. Every point of our life is made perfectly for us to learn something about ourselves. More and more I see that I am the world. If I don’t ‘like’ what I see then I look deeper and deeper at my part in it, be aware of that and then take that awareness to the next part. The world is not the place we all think it is, there is far more going on. When we stand on any point there is always something for us to be aware of. If you turn away from that point for any reason then you just confirm that point will be there for you again. Life is about healing ourselves so more and more we can move away those hurts we have carried and bring out the natural people we are, it’s about a return to something we are and not advancing as we are.
True, Raymond and Esther. Every point in our lives it is there for us to express back to harmony within ourselves, there is a feeling of completion, until the next point dawns. It is never possible to remain at one point and not go deeper without lying to the body, as the tension of doing so is too great. Any time we get caught up at a point where we feel difficult to move deeper into, there is more responsibility waiting to be expressed, more naturalness to be revealed, our love within us is tugging at us and saying, hello?
Yes Susan, We just need to be open to learning and healing no matter what is presented before us.
Yes this stood out for me as well Susan – when we start to understand what it really means to let people in, it is HUGE, and it has a deep affect on learning to truly know ourselves and others as well as having a profound difference to our overall wellbeing.
Yes, Susan, it is wonderful what we can learn from everyone we meet, it is a great gift to us and as you say, “every meeting is a great opportunity to learn more about myself and other people”. What a wonderful opportunity it is for us to grow through this, and take this even grander person out into the world to be an even greater reflection to others. From this, we can all evolve into even greater beings, and all being our true expanded selves.
Anne, what you share here is a profound insight into the seeking of the ‘me’ time and what in-truth we are actually seeking, which is actually an escape from being around others. The irony is though that being with others actually gives us the ability to understand more about ourselves even though being by yourself seems to give us this insight, it is always far deeper around others. I am learning this is because if we close our hearts to others then we are closing our hearts to ourselves too.
True, Joshua, we miss out on lots of opportunities to learn and understand more about life and ourselves by seeking ‘me time’. It is like saying no to a date with your soul.
Your comment brought me to a total stop moment Monika, it just shows how withdrawing from life and people is only ever a delay from that final connection to our souls.
Anne, I can definitely relate to the wanting to get away from people as a reaction to what I was seeing and witnessing in the world. I would always feel a sense of relief, but I knew that being by myself was not the answer.
I even at one stage in my life took leave from life for 1 month, which ended up being 3 months hidden in the forest in a solar powered house…just being with me and resting and glad to not be around people as they constantly disappointed me. Whilst the rest and stop was very healing, there was one key ingredient missing – people. So since then (10 years ago) I have been working on how to be with people and not react – but instead letting them in and bringing more understanding and acceptance of what is presented in front of me. Being with people is what brings meaning and purpose to my day and makes life a joy 🙂
Haha yes I’ve done this too but on a much more minor scale Marika; found people too ‘disappointing’ and unsupportive so retreated to my room whenever I could, or just generally not engaged in any serious conversations that would require me to connect and talk about how I truly felt. This didn’t end well, to say the least – I buried my issues and the contraction away did not go down well in my body… Not advised, when there are so many awesome people out there totally willing to listen and support!
Hello Susie and I have used the ‘retreat’ as a form defence to get away from people. I geared my whole life around navigating my way around people I didn’t have time for. I set up my circle of friends and then would have times to interact with them and certain things to talk about. But there was an unwritten clause in my friendships, a no go area. As soon as this was touched I would walk away. My life on paper looked grand but for me it was horrible, it always looked good but I couldn’t get past how awful it felt. No matter what I did I couldn’t shake this feeling, I could delay it for a bit but then it would catch me again. Enter Universal Medicine and my world is no longer the same and as they say ‘looks are only skin deep’ and so the look is no longer takes first place and I stay with the feeling. When I face something ‘I don’t like’ I go to how I am feeling and speak or act from there. This ‘feeling’ doesn’t shut people down or out, it is a self reflective look, a responsible look at how I am feeling. I know that being responsible for my thoughts, feelings and actions in the world supports the world around me to be different. It you don’t like what you see, don’t look for it to change but change how you are and then watch as magically everything around will be different.
I have never really been someone who retreats from people in the physical sense, i have retreated from myself. Surrounded by people but unable to enjoy them because i am so desperately missing myself, a self imposed prison, for many years i felt very alone and frequently depressed. Serge Benhayon re-introduced me to myself, to self love, to energetic awareness and responsibility, i no longer feel lonely because i know & see the spark that lives within me in everyone else.
‘What I have learnt is that everyone I meet is reflecting something to me, so everyone becomes a gift, and every meeting is a great opportunity to learn more about myself and other people.’
I really resonated with this sentence above Anne. This is what makes life playful and such a joy…and sometimes not so joyful when the reflection is a bit ouchy…but once past that ouch, a joy to realise the gift that has just been given. We are not here to be by ourselves – we can only learn and grow with each other. Each one of us here to bring a piece of the puzzle – and each piece equally needed for the whole.
and that each reflection is a blessing for it gives us the opportunity to make a new choice – that’s the part that I find very beautiful, even if it’s ouchy.
Especially Ouchy, when the same situation keeps being offered for us to make a difference choice!
Yes, whether we make it now or later, that’s up to us. But we are each other’s healing, every reflection we need to return to all that we are.
How lovely when we approach life in this way, appreciating everyone for the reflection they bring. Cuts comparison out, and we all equally enjoy each others expressions.
This is powerful and very inspiring Anne, I can feel the spaciousness within you that you are sharing through this blog, thank you.
Thanks Marika for reminding me of the element of playfullness in recognising the gift of self awareness people offer us with their reflection. More play, yes please!!
I really love what you share here Marika: ‘We are not here to be by ourselves – we can only learn and grow with each other. Each one of us here to bring a piece of the puzzle – and each piece equally needed for the whole.’
Yes exactly and by remembering that our bodies are made up of heaps of particles that can only recognise themselves through reflection – we are each and everyone of us necessary for all of us to give and receive this reflection so that we can grow and expand our Light.
‘Each one of us here to bring a piece of the puzzle – and each piece equally needed for the whole.’ Yes Marika, we all bring something unique, and the reflections can be a bit ouchy, but in truth is a gift to appreciate.
Bellissima Anne Mallat. The love and spaciousness of you is felt throughout your words. I know this spaciousness you speak of as I have embarked on my own returning to it. It is truly GOD-ly. Thank you for putting this on paper. with much love, Anna.
Beautifully said Anna, you have taken the words out of my mouth.
This is quite a revelation, Anne and such a beautiful one for me to ponder. Sometimes when I want “my time” I possibly am running away so I can hide from stressors, reactions or from myself. Sometimes when I am at my busiest I feel more spacious than when I am less busy. It is all about my connection to me and whether I am responding to external stimuli or to my inner heart.
Thanks Anne for sharing this with us. I too have been seeking time away from others and always thought that this was a good thing or something that I needed for myself. In truth many of those occasions were times when I was escaping from a situation which was uncomfortable, I didn’t want to be hurt, and was seeking solitude to do my own thing to forget about what I was really feeling. I was using the solitude, and some associated activity, to avoid feeling and dealing with what was actually going on in the first place – hence it never gets addressed. It’s also interesting that I used to think of time and space as something outside of me that I needed, and was always looking outwardly seeking it. As you so beautifully present time and space is actually within us if we just remain ourselves and allow it to be there.
Frank, I enjoy what you said in the last sentence:”… time and space is actually within us if we just remain ourselves and allow it to be there.” The space is already there but we tend to fill it with busyness or distraction and if we are not being with ourselves when we do something we feel we are missing out and we then tend to create a time pressure which looks forward to getting it done. We then leave ourselves no space to be and by the time we get the job done we are sometimes too exhausted to enjoy the time-out’. By allowing the space we flow within it and things can happen easily without the drive.
Thank you for this Anne, I have been one who has craved similarly and for the same reasons. However sometimes when I have achieved the alone-ness or ‘me time’ it has also happened that I have wanted to get away from myself!
The irony and the tension in that! That rarely happens now but if it should I can see immediately that I am in reaction and take the loving steps to address it. I am finding that I love to be around people more and I am sure that is because I love being with myself (whether with others or not) too.
That I can relate to Jeanette! I have been quite a Houdini in my time, seeking to escape from people. I would find myself alone and in absolute misery with my own company…and wanting to find someone to distract me. Extraordinary really – a crazy oscillation between company and solitude.
Now I love both. The difference has come from enjoying myself and being myself with people.
Ha ha and yes I remember this contradiction of life, wanting to be alone only to find you felt lonely and didn’t want to be alone. In all parts of life I have found a reflection and this was no different. I thought it was people that were the problem and if they change everything would be ok, but this was never the case. I was the problem, how I was and now that has changed my world has changed. No more do I walk away from people as I know that this is reflective for me. The more I am in life with people the more I learn about myself. I don’t just get into life to escape something, I use life as a forever ongoing relationship for what is happening for me at any given point. It’s not just a visit here or a function there but all moments of life for me to reflect on to see how I feel and from that point I have learnt so much. Life is about feeling and not about what I do and I know if I take care of what I am feeling that everything else there after is taken care of from that care.
Oh what a beautiful sentence; Life is about feeling and not about what I do and I know, if I take care of what I am feeling – everything there after is taken care of from that care. This answers all the search for something out there. Comes back to our responsibility to how we feel about ourselves. This has such a big effect to the quality of life we have.
I always thought it was just ‘who I was’, needing all my ‘me time’. I realise now that all my life I needed so much time out from people because I wasn’t being my true self around people, nor was I letting people in in the first place, and so felt drained and resentful of people. As it turns out, as I started really knowing Me and being me in most situations, I am enjoying having people around these days, still never tire of my own company, but I use my ‘me time’ now to just ‘love being with me’, not to escape the world. There is a big difference 🙂
Not letting people in and see who we truly are is incredibly draining, much more than what people often acknowledge. We feel we are preserving ourselves, protecting in a way to not be hurt, using this pattern of not letting people in but ironically the exact opposite eventuates. We are not protecting but causing greater pain as we are designed to connect, to love and to share with one another.
It is such an illusion that we are protecting ourselves by shutting others out. As you describe Katie it is incredibly draining to not allow the natural flow of love between us.
You have hit the nail on the head for me Suzanne, it is such a welcome and beautiful difference to now spend time alone to appreciate the loveliness that I am rather that withdraw from the world to avoid people.
I’m one of those people who makes time to see people, and then regrets it as I’d like time to myself… at least that’s how I used to be. Now I’m opening the doors more often to time with others, and enjoying being with them.
I can relate here Heather and it is really something to enjoy being with others while enjoying being with ourselves, rather then it being one of the other.
I can relate here too Heather and Amina – I used to prefer to be by myself, however nowadays I enjoy being with others as well as being with myself too, the difference is there is no preference anymore.
Absolutely Suzanne…there is indeed a huge difference between being by ourselves, loving and appreciating ourselves, and being alone to hide from the world. I can also relate to not being our true selves around people, not letting them in and then resenting them – we blame the world for the way our lives are without realising, or to avoid seeing, that it is all our choices that have brought us to this point! And when we choose to be more loving with ourselves, that love is reflected back to us, which confirms that our choices create the life we live.
Anne, your gorgeous blog brought me to tears. I felt how deeply true it is that when we want to withdraw and shut down the blinds and the door it’s often because we might be wallowing in a hurt, and in that we shut out our hearts to people. Having time to ourselves is precious, and it’s not about shunning that in any way, but I can really see how true spaciousness and depth of joy and ease doesn’t really come from that retreat.. it comes from letting ourselves be really seen and not hiding who we are.
Yes Katerina, I can really feel what you are saying, fitting in and holding ourselves back is what is truly capping joy and vitality. The true antidote for this is indeed to let ourselves really be seen, and really be who we are. I have been with this today and can see how often I hold myself in! Feels like I am holding my breath the whole day to not stand out. I can feel though that I know how to simply be me and I made beautiful progress today.
So true Katerina, I am discovering this for myself too, the more I allow the veils, or walls I’ve held between myself and the rest of the world in protection to fall away, the more the space opens up to share in the warmth of love that is there to be let out and basked in, less need or want to retreat away to the ‘comfort’ of me on my own.
Yes sharing our vulnerability and sensitivity with others is sharing how delicate we truly are.
And it’s no wonder the world is the way it is if none is sharing this delicacy with each other.
How gorgeous is this ‘Making time and space for me now means to hold that feeling, to be aware of the loveliness that lives within me, and to always live in that. And then I have all the time and space in the world… just being me.’ It beautiful sums it all up.
Yes it does Johanna, and I realised recently that as long as I am present with what I am doing in each moment then I am naturally enjoying my own company which means I get to enjoy me for most of the day if I choose to.
I loved that sentence too Johanna, the holding of the feeling inside that we are simply lovely and do not need to do anything more then address that which is right before us creates such space and simplicity.
Johanna, Amina & Carolien,
I agree with this as well. The more that I choose to hold the feeling of loveliness with in the more tenderness, care and love I feel for myself and this is greatly changing how I go about living my days. There is this definite feeling of knowing what to do and when, and if followed life truly is simple.
So true Leigh it is so much easier to feel and respond to the natural flow in life the more I hold that tender connection to the loveliness that I am.
Thank you Anne. This is so relatable for me. I love being on my own and having time in my own space and I love being with people too. However, when I feel I need to be on my own- this is sometimes to shut others out or out of reaction because I feel hurt and at other times it is supportive for me to be on my own to give myself the space to feel what happened in a situation that affected me.
I love this sentence ‘We don’t always behave beautifully, but we are lovely,’ something to keep in the forefront of my awareness.
Yes this is beautiful Johanna. There is nothing wrong with being with someone, and not having a conversation. If we grasped that we can simple ‘be’ with each other, than relationships would be a lot more harmonious.
“everyone I meet is reflecting something to me, so everyone becomes a gift” – Such a huge weight gets lifted by taking this approach.
I agree Joel, it makes life so much more enjoyable and means we do not have to constantly prove ourselves to others. It also helps take away judgement or wanting the world and people to be a different way. Effectively we are all where we each need to be to learn whatever we need to learn so we can return back to being our natural loving selves. Without the reflection from others and from nature we would be far more lost and caught in life than we are today. Once we see this we know have a responsibility to live and act with love so we can then offer this reflection back to others rather than living miserably and confirming the misery back to others through our reflection.
Yes James, constantly proving ourselves and wanting people to be different or having to please people is exhausting and complicated. Being ourselves is simple yet it can seem so hard if we allow ourselves to be run by our hurts. If we can see the reflection offered to us by others as a blessing we can open to dealing with our hurts rather than reacting when our buttons get pushed – then we can take responsibility for our actions and make more loving choices.
I agree Joel…. Such a gift and such a game changer if we choose to apply it.
The appreciation for what others bring demands of us to appreciate ourselves, and so the cycle continues.
Yes, you can say that again Joel. This is such a loving way to interact with people, to truly see everyone with appreciation.
And there is so much to appreciate too, what a great opportunity we have in each and every encounter!
This approach, lived fully, means that we have to be present for each interaction… whether its the kids, the boss or the Queen, they all have the potential equally so to inform our lives if we just pay attention and listen (with all our senses).
Yes Joel, so true – especially when there are deeper learnings to adhere to for us.
It is a true joy to approach life with such perspective and apply it’s wisdom.
If we appreciate ourselves, each other and the magic of every moment and its purpose, life will make total sense and
we are far more willing to bring our all to it.
Meeting people is the most amazing opportunity to live the lessons from Heaven on earth, we all bear the living testimonial of how God is love to us, everyone of us, through the human experience.
This struck me as the absolute Gold I can refuse to see – if we are open to everyone we get to really feel the qualities that we all bring to the puzzle and how that is how we will all eventually evolve together.
Yes this line is gold Joel…thanks for drawing it out here. Seeing everyone in this way is a complete game changer.
Thank you Anne for your blog, I can very much relate to all that you have shared. There are still times when I feel like I want to retreat and have alone time but I am becoming more aware that this is often because I don’t want to feel the reflection that others would offer that I have to some extent closed down. So now I make more of an effort so if I feel like retreating I look at why that is and make more of an effort to not go into hiding but to be open to people.
Absolutely beautiful Anne. I used to need to find time for myself and be alone too, now I love sharing my space with others. When the spaciousness within ourselves grows, it naturally extends to all others. Not everyone would accept this spaciousness offered, but this only means without the need to be alone, I have all the more time and space to share my own loveliness with myself, as well as with people who feel the same loveliness within themselves.
This has been my experience as well Adele, loved reading your post, the more connection i feel with myself in knowing who i truly am then the more I want to connect with and be with people.
Yes, building the True Love we are naturally expands and fills the Universe – we can’t but share and Love the world.
So true, Adele! And that spaciousness brings with it a different sense of time, so that even a moment alone can feel like plenty of time, an eternity even.
I could so relate to what you share here Anne, as I too have often lived my life in a way where I have sought space for me choosing to keep my distance from others when in truth all I truly sought was connection. I find the more I let my hurts take hold the more I feel this disconnection, but when I choose to stay open to others, honestly expressing what I feel, I have noticed a shift occurs. People who were previously closed off open up and more often than not our connection actually deepens. This is something I feel to bring with more consistency into my life as living with honesty, and an openness towards others feels truly lovely.
So true Anne and what a beautiful sharing, thank you. Making space to be with me can occur anytime I choose whether I am alone or with others, groups big or small. That is the magic of God!
Beautiful said Suzanne, I have found this to be true for me too.
It is such a trick Suzanne, we can make space by connecting to our true selves and it does not matter if we are alone or with others.
It doesn’t matter whether we are alone or with others … if we are not with ourselves when we are with others, then where are we?
I love how you said that Suzanne, that making space can occur any time be it when we are on our own or with others. I find that too, that my ‘perceived’ need to be on my own has so lessened since I have come to understand and feel more and more space within me this transfers around me too, whether with others or on my own. Very liberating really as this thing ‘I need time for me’ gets just shown up as the illusion it truly is.
It was great to read this Anne and feel into it for myself, why do I sometimes want to just get away, be by myself, take time out? It felt true that it was related to feeling I have had enough of people, or of life -which means as you have shared, the possibility that I was in reaction to others behaviour or to my own way of seeing life and a little caught up in my behaviour or beliefs and not really feeling connected to myself. So this is a huge blessing to observe and acknowledge, because it opens me up to just how every minute of every day can be a choice to stay connected and open to what unfolds, knowing that perhaps there is purpose in living that way and that life is actually about experiencing how we can support each other to evolve together.
Gorgeous Simon, I can relate to a lot of what you’ve shared. Often there’s been this longing to escape from life, having had ‘enough’ of life. These moments can be a big turning point to feel a little deeper what it is I’m wanting to escape from and why. What I’ve come to see if that what I’d actually be tired of and had ‘enough of’ was pretty simply — hiding me, not opening up to people fully, keeping up a guard — which is tiring! So I’d then want to escape to let go of the guard and just be me. But the more I let me be seen by people, the more I let out who I really am, the less I feel this longing to run away — and if ever that feeling does come up again, I realise I’m being asked to go that bit deeper and feel what it is I’m reacting to, what is it I’ve been hurt by that is tempting to want to run away and escape from all the amazing reflections that every person so naturally brings into our lives.
I can relate to this also Katerina. Hiding and not being open to people fully because I want to maintain an image or not show my imperfections.
But this hurts and is very exhausting.
Then wanting to escape to let go of the guard. No wonder we can feel like we need more time and space!
Yes and when we feel like shutting our selves away from others its a reflection of our reactions, taking things personally, and not expressing what we are really feeling. All of this causes a great tension in the body.
Yes Katie…And this creates tension with others.
Tension that we carry into our next interaction creating an instant ‘lessening’ of the potential in the meeting. Huge to see that this irresponsibility has an effect that runs and runs.
Absolutely Lee, the preceding moment and the intention we have with it, as you say, carries on into the next moment like a runaway train, so if we don’t choose to be responsible and catch it, everyone suffers.
Beautifully expressed Simon. This opens our eyes to the possibility that the world is about all of us and if we focus on ourselves then we will be disconnected from the whole.
I agree Simon, this sharing has made me question how I see the time I have for myself even though I love my interactions and relationships at work and at home, there is a part of me that loves being alone.
Indeed Simon Voysey i too can feel how i can manage life, holding the world at arms length. Yet i love what Anne has presented here, that if we let love in and out then there are rich opportunities for deepening and evolving our relationships, how confirming out days can be if we connect to the love we are.
I love your way of expression Simon, and it confirms to me that there is no time out from life, I cannot take myself away and into comfort behind my 4 walls to escape from people. This is an illusion, we are always in interconnection; the way we think about someone effects them equally as it effects myself. Therefore it is very wise to have a first look at the way we hold ourselves before. It is our responsibility how we treat ourselves here and therefore the quality of relationship we have with others. And it will affect the way they hold us with themselves, so it always comes back to us. What a huge ripple effect life is – all this makes me more aware of what huge responsibility I have.
I can totally relate to wanting time alone as I have also craved it all my life. I am starting to appreciate more and more the whole concept of allowing others in. I have found space is created when I do open up and the more I stay with myself, the more space is created in and around me. It’s an amazing experience, just feeling like everything in me has the room to move rhythmically and then I find it easier to interact with others. To know that this is our true way of being and it seems crazy that I ever walked away from it, thinking there was something else out there.
I love what you have written Helen, especially the last sentence which goes for me too: “To know that this is our true way of being and it seems crazy that I ever walked away from it, thinking there was something else out there”. I agree whole heartedly that it seems very crazy; what a fruitless search that was as all the time what I was looking for was actually there within me.
It is so true Ingrid, to think that there is something else out there. I like that comment ‘what a fruitless search it was’, this picks up the way I have lived before Universal Medicine – it was not going anywhere and creating suffering and misery, and thinking that there must be something else. I knew that there was something else to life and it was always within myself. I am so grateful – I have found it back again, there is no searching anymore – just an accepting that it is all there.
From what you describe, it feels like we continually look outside of us for what can only truly be found within, be that space, spaciousness or love.
Gabriele this feels so true. The quest to find the space, spaciousness and love that we ARE somewhere out there… is fruitless.
It’s like the red shoes. Dorothy aches to be home and whilst seeking fails to realise that she has the WAY with her the whole time.
I feel the spaciousness when I connect to my breath or another who is equally of the same essence of stillness and love.
Yes, and what an irony this is Gabriele. I used to crave time alone and was successful in achieving this and withdrawing from the world, but all the while looking outside of myself for love, calm, acceptance. When all the while what I was searching for was within me, the key to true salvation.
This is the repeated phrase. We ‘look outside of us for what can only truly be found within’. We cannot know who we are until this truth is appreciated in full. Simple and life long learning.
Yes so true Gabriele – and outside of us we are not going to find anything truthful at all – as we can’t connect to that unless we have connected to it within first
I have found I used to dislike being alone because I love being around people. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t able to be alone but I didn’t seem to have that same craving as you described Helen and by Anne. I have found when I am not feeling great I would often seek a friend to talk to. But when I am truly connected to myself I don’t feel the need to be anywhere, or have to seek anything, by just being connected to myself I am open to people and to everything that unfolds.
I have felt this too Chan, I didn’t dislike being alone and have spent quite a lot of time on my own at times. But equally love being in the company of others. If i ever do have those feelings of needing to be with people, I can see there is an opening there, an opportunity to go deeper in my connection with myself, being open to people, myself and as you say, everything that unfolds.
I too have spent much of my life wanting time alone, until my husband died, but I still had some family living separately on the home site for several years, but since then I have really enjoyed my time alone now for about 7 years. I enjoyed being able to make all my own decisions, choose just what I want in life and mix and do things with others as I choose, and not be judged for anything that I do. But things have changed, and I have found that I no longer want to be living alone. It is interesting, it has completely turned around for me, and I now look forward to sharing a home with others, it is time for me to be interacting daily with others, in those interactions, we can learn so much about ourselves and others, really necessary if we are going to grow in this world of ours.
I can relate to that too Helen, and I was a master at protecting my hurts by keeping people at a bay. Since I started letting people in more openly I have started seeing us all as equal, all as beautiful loving beings and that everyone has wisdom to share. I must add its so much more fun too!
I love this Anne, what you have discovered turns protecting ourselves on its head…. we often believe that we need to be by ourselves to be truly left alone and not hurt, yet as you have realised hiding away in this manner is more hurtful and painful because we are not only shutting down from others just like us but also shutting down to ourselves. I love the questions you ask yourself when you feel the need to be by yourself, I have learnt a lot just reading this. I’ve been believing that I need time by myself to truly get anything done, and then that builds resentment when I’m not on my own, like others are keeping me from doing stuff but then I love being with people. Its looking at how I am with myself first, whether I’m giving myself the space and time or not, that is the key. Thank you Anne!
Yes and in this shutting down only living a fraction of our true self, hence why it feels so miserable and hurts so deeply.
It’s a vicious cycle, when we blame others for our hurts and shut down, then feel even more miserable. Staying open is the key, as Anne describes and this is being responsible for what we bring to others.
This not wanting to take ownership for what is going on and blaming others is a real sabotage of not only ourselves but our relationships with others. The more we allow ourselves to be the Love that we are,the more we can let go of the hurts that have nothing to do with who we are but we hold onto for security and those ‘just in case’ moments. ‘Just in case’ of what we need to ask – that we are actually these love bombs that feels exquisite to be with and to share this others.. hello – I’m so playing that game.
It is liberating and a great opportunity to grow when we observe our reactions, without going into blame. When I catch myself in blame, it is like a warning light that I am stubbornly not wanting to look at my part in the situation.
I’ve felt the same way Aimee! Especially as a mother, I found myself seeking those moments of time where I was alone and could be ‘left alone’ without feeling responsible for anyone. The relief however was usually only temporary because at the time, I hadn’t developed a connection with myself or an appreciation for just being me, and so these periods weren’t really about truly being with myself, but more about periods that were just still doing the same activities, but just not with other people around to consider or worry about! These days, I also love being with people, and I notice that when I don’t want to be with people, there’s usually something going on for me (i.e. wanting to withdraw etc.) so it’s become a great marker that the key is not whether or not I am in a physical space with another person, but whether or not I am in connection with ‘me’!
As a mum I can also relate very much to what you are sharing. In the early days of motherhood I would find myself resenting everything I had to do without pause as I couldn’t find the time to spend quality time with me and I would go hard and push through – not so great for my family! When I finally came to the point of nurturing my quality in everything I did then things started to change. I find that I no longer need time out to reset as I remain pretty consistent in everything I do. I love me wherever I take myself or in whatever I am doing and therefore have the time for all the demands of parenting and life!
Yes Aimee I found this too, locking people out does not protect us from getting hurt at all, it stops the conversation dead with no room for either party to explain how they feel without it coming barbed and loaded with all their own hurts and never truly open to what the other person is saying. There are times where I would like some time in silence but I know I can find that any time if I just stop the chatter in my head – heaps more silence already!
Aimee, I agree. I had and sometimes still have this pattern of wanting to be on my own, because I think I cannot be myself with others around feeling the expectations everybody has. So it is really about myself giving me the space no matter if anybody is around or not. Thank you Anne for this wise sharing.
‘Are we not worth investing a little effort in to guarantee our lives are feeling awesome?’ One billion percent YES! This really makes me consider how many little moments that we accept as not awesome add up to much more time than we realise, and how this effort needs to be made always.
Absolutely – you have hit the nail on the head! It’s the space INSIDE you, rather than the space AROUND you that makes all the difference.
I love that question too Aimee because this question helped me to understand what is really going on inside of me as well. Sometimes it needs only a good question and a commitment for the true answer to change a whole life.
There are those who say that love is nothing more than a utopian ideal. The world is so full of pain and misery and even what we call the high points are only ephemeral in nature. The truth is as human beings we are remarkably fragile and sensitive to being hurt in ways we do not even allow ourselves to realise. The greatest tragedy of this, however, is not the fact that we get hurt, but the fact that it makes us wary about love. I don’t think anyone pretends that working towards living a life of love is easy, but it should not ever stop us from dedicating ourselves towards such a thing. It is a cliche, but the world needs love like a bee needs honey. It is, dare I say it in the context of the misery that surrounds us, our true inner nature. It is who we are. As babies, we knew it. As small children, we knew it, but knew others did not, and so we questioned its authenticity. Growing up, we struggled with this fact, and so we left it behind, such is our natural propensity to want to belong, and as adults we have given up on it. We think the unforeseen death of a small child is the greatest tragedy of life. I say such an event does not even come close to the tragedy of watching billions of human beings give up on their true nature for a life of comfort and getting by that is in truth drudgery by compare.
I agree Adam, making us not want to be fully loving and or wary of love is a massive tragedy of human life as we know it. We are all from love and it means we have to separate from ourselves, separate from own inner knowing. Why to fit in with the world that has said we should be a certain way. But this way is not working and it is only when we all start to realise this and return back to our innate knowing and the love that we all are will the world change, otherwise people will continue to live in misery and despair trying to make the best of it but not truly enjoying life, as is the current situation for many people.
I feel it is not so much the world saying ‘we should be a certain way’ but the fact that we all chose at some point to leave love behind, to leave who we truly are to join everyone else who was doing the same thing, and so there came about a way of being that wasn’t true. It is when one person doesn’t enjoin and says no, life is about love, as Serge Benhayon has and who stands for Truth, that we are offered a different way of being – one we all innately know and can choose to return to.
Ironic isn’t it James that we would want to fit into a world that isn’t right in the first place, hence playing the game to suit everyone else and remaining in our own comfort in the process. Being in comfort isn’t actually that comfortable, we are so far away from who we truly are that it hurts us, yet we choose to numb and distract ourselves further. How is the world going to change? This is where responsibility comes in, it is through the reflection of those that know the truth, and as we begin to live in truth more and more, the truth will become more of a reality to everyone, and the world will return to love, joy, harmony and FUN!
Knowing that love is the foundation of how we can build the levels of space for ourselves is powerful.
Great expression and so true nb, very powerful indeed.
Part of that tragedy Adam is that drudgery we call life is considered ‘normal’ and to be ‘expected’.
Absolutely Jennifer, love what you have introduced, feeling all that does not feel ok in life and then looking around and seeing life go on as though it is all normal and ok.
Totally Katie. How many millions of us have felt the puzzlement of feeling that all is not okay yet looking around and seeing that everyone seems to thin and act as if it is. I remember this distinctly as a teenager, feeling an implicit pressure to act as if all this is okay and normal, and that to question it would be a total faux pas. I remember my family questioning political decisions, societal ways of being, and all manner of things, but something in me was questioning the very fact of our life here on earth itself . . . and this was never addressed, it was an elephant in the room, and so I chose to divert my questioning into the accepted channels, politics, philosophy, sociology etc.
I remember this too Lyndy, the dismay of seeing the state the world was in, and the bewilderment of why nobody was questioning it, and even worse, schools teaching us to try to conform to the insanity. Thankfully Serge Benhayon is one man who spoke up about the insanity, at great risk to his life and livelihood, and because he has stood firm in truth, others are now taking back their own power and standing firm in what they know is true also. It just takes one and the world can change.
I had the same experience as a kid and was amazed at people pretending not to see what was clearly there. I feel most kids struggle with this, not being supported and validated in what they know to be true and energetically told to accept that what is false is actually true. I wonder if this is part of the teenage rebellion. I find teenagers are very sensitive to hypocrisy from adults.
I can really relate to that Lyndy Summerhaze.
I came into this world with yet another opportunity to understand the power of space yet everyone i came across was engaged in & sold out to matter, i followed the people i loved and enjoined in this involutionary pursuit, only to meet Serge Benhayon 10 years ago and be re-introduced to the space and the true meaning of evolution.
I well remember that ever-present-elephant-in-the-room Lyndy. It serves no-one and the rot sets in to live as far away from love as possible is seen as totally normal. Totally crazy really.
Yes Katie, and then making do with emotional love, thinking that is real love, and making it the all important ingredient of our lives. This substitute feels like a comfort we gave ourselves to make up for the choice we made to turn our backs on true love long ago, and so seek to fill that emptiness we created when we did so. This means we give ourselves away to others all the time, and hence create that feeling of pressure and tension you mention Anne, and long to be alone. What a merry-go-round, that is far from merry but desperately miserable.
I love what you are saying here Joan. If only the world would stop and ask itself why it is so miserable then maybe things would begin to change. If this means coming out of our comfort then so be it, because the alternative is more of the same misery, and it can only get worse. It’s a shame that humanity has to come to it’s knees before realising that there is another way, a way of living without that tension and pressure, and it is not too good to be true, it is real, tangible and accessible to all and it’s called the Way of the Livingness, a new religion in the true sense of the word, so let the merriment begin!
Emotional love and true love are so very different. If you ‘want’ or ‘desire’ emotional love, it can make true love appear to be harsh or even unloving. This is the irony of reinterpretation.
Indeed Joan when we are prepared to see the extent of the lie that we have accepted, then the untruths that we have created to prop up the illusion are every more apparent.
Totally Vicky Geary, when I came across the love that was universally true through Universal Medicine, it felt so clear and clean even though at times I often struggled with trying to comprehend and allow in love’s directness, or absoluteness, … until I started to live life with less and less emotion, drama and storytelling that cushioned or sweetened life, yet the cushion was what I had the issue with, and my own insertion of it, and not love itself.
Emotional love as opposed to true love.. a few years ago I would have reacted against the suggestion that there was a difference. My life was full of drama, stories, issues and problems – usually about other people not acting the way I wanted them to! Since discovering Universal Medicine, true love feels very different. It doesn’t ask anything of me, it just allows me to be me, and get to my learning in my own time. There’s no demand, no expectation, just a huge space, holding, allowing and accepting. Very different from how I’d previously interpreted love to be.
So tragic indeed Jennifer. We have been so quick to accept the misery as a normal way to be, and done so little to take responsibility in making the world a place we wish it to be. In fact we have even given up on the possibility of it being any other way – such is our despair.
So true. And as I read this I recalled times when I was younger when we seemed to have some ‘respite’ from the drudgery and misery. I recall my parents connecting with me for those fleeting moments. It seems the world is set up for us to be this way and it is so far from how we truly really are.
…and our desire to escape and be ‘alone’.
Indeed Kylie our desire to be alone if we feel hurt or overwhelmed can be an escape where we give up on ourselves from being in the world.
I am seeing more and more that people do have good intentions and try to make changes where change is needed but we are just chasing our tails and nothing truly gets changed, it is just plasters and band aids. Thank goodness for Universal Medicine who are a living role model that by taking responsibility for our lives, committing to life and living this in such a way consistently, along with a deeper understanding of energy change really does and can happen.
As you say Vicky, the plasters and band aids have never worked. Universal medicine remind us that they are there in the first place and then equally remind us that we can take off the plasters and band aids and see that there is another way. What I love is that they can’t and won’t do this for us, it is our responsibility to make the changes and enjoy what this brings into our life. It is totally up to us and this is what is so very empowering.
I wholeheartedly agree Vicky, people are so invested in the life we have created that they are willing to see & fix the punctures but not look at why we keep getting them. For we know that when we do there is much that will change, the comfort rug will be whipped from under out feet and responsibility will be hard hitting. Our health system is a great example of this, throwing millions into an involutionary cycle of band aids, i sense the collapse is nigh and Universal Medicine has the key to lasting sound health.
Accepting the fact that we have chaos and that we created it and that we are NOT it makes much easier to deal with, step back from and get an understanding of it all. Not accepting this fact just takes us off into a spin of denial, blaming, frustration, emotions and all those other reactions which just create even more chaos and doesn’t address anything.
And thank God for Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and family for showing us that there is a different way, and leading by example, so we can actually see and feel that it is indeed possible to live a life that is anything but ‘misery’ or ‘drudgery’.
Karina and Simon I am shaking my head and breathing a deep sigh, as I thank The Universal Medicine team for delivering another way. We actually know true choice to change forever our ways, which brings true change.
Absolutely Karina and in fact Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon are showing us that life can be full of joy and purpose once we understand that each of us is here to return to who we innately are.
It’s amazing how quickly we look to God to fix things or to blame. We have free will and we are seeing and living the consequences of our choices.
Blame never solved anything, it just creates more of the same and no one seems to want to take responsibility for the fact that in subscribing to a comfortable or safe life in isolation from feeling the world one is actually accepting and saying its ok to have turmoil and separation, as long as I don’t have to be involved in it. The irony is, that a comfortable life is rarely comfortable as the tension of feeling both what is and is not love, or in other words, separation v’s connection and yet choosing supposed ‘safety’ over love is excruciating. I know this having been there myself.
Aghhh!! So true Simon, we have totally accepted that ‘this is how it is’, and really given up on what we absolutely know is the truth but fear the hard work that comes with bringing that back up to the surface.
Yes Jennifer, and I remember well feeling that life was drudgery and thinking ‘is this it?’ The moaning about life, work, partners, colleagues, all the while, the love inside is kept hidden by the great wall of protection we have all built around ourselves. As Anne has described, there is another way to live.
I remember that moment Debra, when the great bubble of expectations was burst, realising the life we were living and our ways were quite dysfunctional. All just to not feel our hurts and live from the love we are…. We make it so complicated!
Yes Merrilee, you are right, we make it so complicated. Complication is also a great sign that shows us that we have created dysfunctional lives. When we live life just being who we are without the needs and expectations or the hiding, the natural flow and spaciousness is simply just there, just like Anne describes.
Complicated indeed. The worries are what we revolve around. How can we worry about something more, so that we feel like we are doing something, that we are feeling something? What an illusion we have chosen to live in.
Absolutely Jennifer, the fact that we now consider such comfort more important than our base needs to connect and love is indeed a tragedy. Thank God for articles and blog sites such as this that shine a light on these beliefs and show that there is another way and that way begins by connecting back to who we innately are.
Indeed what Anne described as a way of getting through life in protection is a drudgery. To feel the openness of letting people in despite the risks of being hurt is indeed a huge relief.
I agree Jenny. There is a huge relief in letting people in and discovering we won’t spontaneously combust! I also loved how Anne talked about liking herself, allowing her to like other people. This is obvious but really important, as so many including me invest a lot of time focussing on our flaws rather than getting to know our great natural qualities.
Awesome Fiona, Anne has made a great point here and as you say it is obvious, but really important as it is foundational, how can we truly like others if we do not like ourselves? Focussing on our supposed flaws is like looking through a magnifying glass at only one area, say a wart, and being completely oblivious to the fact that there is the plane of the rest of the body which is clear and clean and beautiful.
Agreed Jennifer, we learn how normal the drudgery is from our parents, our work colleagues and of course the media. What is needed is examples of how to live; with our hearts on our sleeves, open to the world, and letting love lead the way.
Just beautiful Simon. It was so uncool to wear your heart on your sleeve, as I learnt out in the world as a teenager, and I can remember being so intent on being ‘cool’ and looking like part of the gang. But back to wearing my heart on my sleeve, now and have gone to a deeper level of this even today in singing in front of a singing teacher where my confidence felt so at ease and was so supported that I was able to express even more love through my voice without worry that I was being judged or thought to be ‘silly’ or ‘too much’ or this or that. What an amazing freedom!
I too remember being criticised for wearing my heart on my sleeve. Even when I didn’t say what I was feeling, every part of my body did, so people very easily knew how I was feeling. But of course I took this as a criticism and that I needed to be more discreet about how I expressed. But what I now know to be true, thanks to the support of Universal Medicine, is that to be transparent and honest is what the world does need. It is only seen as strange from those who choose not to express and so are reacting to expression, or because it is a rarity to tell it like it is.
Hannah, I love what you are saying about being transparent and honest as true, instead of trying to pretend to be discreet or communicating in some convoluted hidden way, just to be accepted! We have to back ourselves and simply be us. If aligned and in goodwill there is nothing to fear from other people’s thoughts, critiques, reactions. We will be a breath of fresh air.
That is awesome Lyndy – good on you and yes it will have felt like total freedom as there was no expectation, just the joy of being. Thank you for your sharing.
Thank you for your comments Lyndy and Hannah, I realise that I have always been criticised for ‘wearing my heart on my sleeve’, for being too open and naive and so I learned to shut it down to be accepted and develop a tough, cool, ‘I’m ok’ front for the world which became normal and ingrained! I am re-learning to be open again, to let my love out and be seen in all my vulnerability, seeing that cool girl for the protection it really is and letting it wash away.
It did used to be so uncool Lyndy but wearing your heart on your sleeve is the new black! All the cool kids are doing it – the problem remains that some of us are still not listening and hearing. Not listening to and hearing others nor the voice of our own inner hearts. So great that you do.
Lyndy, This brings a memory of my childhood – always being told by adults it was unacceptable and ridiculous to go about wearing our hearts on our sleeves and letting people see us! It has taken many years to let go of this – thanks to being deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine I am letting ‘my heart be seen again’
Indeed Lyndy there is nothing more liberating than giving ourselves permission to be, especially when we have spent so many years managing, coping and controlling!
I remember as a child and young adult that when it was said ‘he or she wears their heart on their sleeve’…. that it became almost a euphemism for being weaker, naive or subject to tears (!) , and that this was not really a good thing or way to be. So although I felt the loveliness of the expression or the openness of the person who wore their hearts on their sleeves, I didn’t allow this beauty in until my 30’s… when i got used to the words – HEART, LOVE, TRUTH.
I love this Simon, so very true. The more of us that do truly wear our hearts on our sleeves and let our innocent and joy be really seen, the more people will be inspired to remember that there is a way of living and being with each other that is not about drudgery, that it is about being love, and that this can be a living and very normal way for all.
Very true Jennifer, these ill beliefs so many of us take on suck us dry from a vitality that is very natural to our bodies — instead this is replaced with the ever-increasing numbers of illness and disease that have become part of what society has so sadly considered as a ‘normal’ part of modern life.
It is almost as if the world is resigned to this way of being Jennifer, getting to the point where many have given up. But the fact that they have given up may mean that underneath all the pain and layers of protection they must know that there is more, that they have left something behind, otherwise they would accept their ‘norm’ as the… ‘norm’ and wouldn’t feel so sad. In reality humanity has left nothing behind, as we know, it is right there inside them, which is even more crazy to keep denying it. What humanity needs is more loving reflections of who they truly are and then they will get it.
Great point you raise here Sandra, and I agree whith more people choosing to live from the connection within themselves and not hold back in being the love that we are, is all that is needed for others to recognise this in themselves too.
Yes, Sandra, ‘What humanity needs is more loving reflections of who they truly are .’ Humanity then has a choice, and can at least see there is another way.
Sandra so true the more we all connect to the true love within us, we will inspire others to recognise that love within them. Hummnaity will then realise their is another way.
Yes Sandra the fact that people have ‘given up’ means they know exactly what it is to not give up – and to claim who they are. I agree that what the world is craving are more people reflecting what it is to just be who we are. And to not hold onto the past but rather accept and appreciate where we are at right now. No judgement or comparison. With role models like these in the world, how can we not start to see things differently.
Absolutely agree Jennifer and Adam, the normalized abusive way we are living so void of love is the result of clearly lacking purpose in life and not knowing who we are. But how did we get to a “normal” buying into a comfort that is an absolute misery? This can only be understood by knowing that there are two sources of energy, one that is love and the other one that is a force that constantly makes us choose abuse. We can only challenge this “normal” if we accept that everything is energy and everything is because of energy as presented by Serge Benhayon.
Exactly Rachel – once we get our ‘heads’ around that immutable fact that everything is energy and therefor everything is because of energy, we then can view life and all it comes with form that perspective and have then the opportunity to choose wisely how we will continue to live our lives.
Indeed Rachel Andras more and more we will see the madness, the utter involution of our investment in matter, for as Anne has relayed our real home lies in spaciousness, and with this returning awareness of energy there is a humbling responsibility towards humanity as a whole.
So true and when we question the drudgery we call normal we are often seen as being “not normal”.
Hahaha – so true nb – because if people thought what we express is normal, well then they’d also have to have a serious look at the way they live their lives too…. a true blessing really, but maybe not felt like that at first…
Yes Jennifer and because it is considered normal one never stops to consider that life has become a drudgery.
Or they do not stop because they do not know it is possible to change anything, they do not know there is another way to live. For once known it is very difficult not to choose differently, not to change their concept of normal, as so many people on this blog have been inspired by by Universal Medicine to do.
Without a stop I too feel Sally that we may never notice that we have built a pattern of behaviour into a momentum that is so familiar that it becomes the new norm. I appreciate little stops in my day just to reflect where I may have got caught up or over involved.
Hello Jennifer and we keep moving the goal posts of ‘normal’ each year it would seem. Instead of looking at how things have been over a period and then openly discussing if this period had supported us or not we just take a collective survey of how people are going and then hey presto we have a new norm. We are far from living in a ‘normal’ way, it’s just that we keep moving the norm to make it seem better. If we really take a look around we have dressed the world in ‘normal’ to make it look better and when we have worn that normal out, no worries we just grab a rubber and erase it and move it over. Just because something is label as ‘normal or expected’ doesn’t mean it should be blindly accepted, have a close look yourself and really see if everything that is in front of you is ok. I look around and collectively it’s not a good look.
I know Jennifer and it is awful and extremely painful. Then we numb ourselves even more by eating loads of food, drinking tons of coffee plus whatever else we do lest we be honest about how we’re really feeling. Thank God there is another way.
So true Adam, we are all so sensitive and it is a great tragedy in life that we don’t allow ourselves to fully express this and be vulnerable instead forming a different and accepted version of how to interact and we all participate in this together and it becomes our reality and ills become normalised and everyone is hurt by this and gives up and then no-one is open to considering how to make it true again and how to truly express love.
Yes Kristy, It is a circle that keeps coming round again till one person says enough is enough – this is not normal!
Yes Kristy, how many times have we heard it uttered that sensitivity is a weakness, something unfortunate about a person who thus feels and hurts too much. This is a huge lie we’ve bought into as a human race. The sensitivity we all have is immensely powerful, it takes us back to truth — that a life of drudgery, a life of making do and toughening up to get by is not right, it doesn’t feel harmonious in our bodies because we are here to be and express so, so much more.
I see and hear this in the school playground, ‘how many times have we heard it uttered that sensitivity is a weakness, something unfortunate about a person who thus feels and hurts too much’, that a child is ‘over sensitive’ because they get upset by the way someone has spoken to them or they are feeling that something is not loving, being sensitive is not encouraged. in the playground if its cold and wet the little children want to go inside and warm up and they get upset having to stay outside, the older children do not feel the cold and rain so much and so the little one’s are encouraged to get on with it in the same way and that they will get used to being out in the wind and rain, thus overriding their sensitivity and what their body is clearly feeling.
And there are so many thing we have created to deny our sensitivity. We crave elevation while completely ignoring the fact that we feel our whole and true selves when we allow ourselves to be sensitive.
Completely true Katerina – sensitivity brings us back to truth. No wonder why sensitivity itself as a quality has been inverted to mean weakness, when in fact it is true power.
We should explore why Zoe. Why is it that sensitivity has become bastardised to define weakness instead of the true power it is?
So beautifully said Katerina!
How true this is Katerina, we are here to express so so much more. I have caught myself in getting upset and giving up concerning the hardness and aggression in the world, which we as human beings take for normal. But as you write, the sensitivity we have is extremely powerful. Yes it takes us back to truth and it touches the world with the harmony we emmanate due to allowing our sensitivity and the deep love we are.
Thank you for this beautiful comment Katerina.
You have hit the nail on the head here Katerina; The sensitivity we all have is immensely powerful, it takes us back to truth.’
Hear hear – well expressed Katerina and absolutely true.
Katerina I am glad that you brought up sensitivity
I was always sensitive but it came out with the emotion and lovelessness which I was living and of course it was rejected by others. Living with love we put the power back into sensitivity and respond in a way that everyone learns and heals from it.
Living with love we put the power back into sensitivity and respond in a way that everyone learns and heals from it. I love this Bernard, a lovely sharing.
Well said Katerina – True sensitivity is something to honour not dismiss.
“The sensitivity we all have is immensely powerful, it takes us back to truth.’
‘No-one is open to considering how to make it true again and how to truly express love.’ – Well said Kristy, the hurts and the protection are passed on from generation to generation, until we ourselves choose to stop and make a change. It is never too late to connect to our hearts and start to let people in.
Spot on Kristy. We get so caught up in how our lives have become that very often we don’t even consider stopping to reflect on the fact that it doesn’t have to be that way, that being tired or exhausted, and having multiple symptoms is not in fact normal, and there maybe something we can do to change how we live that would then change how we are.
Exactly Kristy, this is unfortunately how it is, until someone comes along to show us this is not true, there is a way that honours us and our sensitivity and love that we are.
Hello Kristy and you have highlighted words we need to ‘own’ back, “sensitive and vulnerable”. In years to come we will see that in fact these two words are points of strength and never have truly been a sign of weakness. While ever we allow them to be used like they currently are in the world people will shy away from feeling them. As a man these words are like my best friend and most people would read this as me not really being a man or similar. In fact the thought still comes into my head, but life experience has shown me that when I honour the feeling I have in these moments, be sensitive and vulnerable to what I am feeling that I stand taller at the other side of it. I am a man and I stand by how deeply sensitive I am and how strong I am in being vulnerable.
Yes, Adam I agree – there is so much denial about love and so much reaction, and it is indeed a tragedy that the world feels closed off from knowing love . Like so many things in life we have made something that is beautiful and simple very complicated and something which at times can feel unobtainable. Why is it that we express our love freely to children and yet withdraw as we grow up? Is it that when we connect with children we are connecting to our own innocence that is deeply felt and held in our essence. We long to know this feeling again and yet we do not trust ourselves enough, or feel that we are enough to deserve this self honouring. God is love – and when we accept that we are the Sons of God we can then unquestionably feel the love that is ours by right, a love that expands our every moment as we step back into our rightful relationship with God as equals.
‘I don’t think anyone pretends that working towards living a life of love is easy, but it should not ever stop us from dedicating ourselves towards such a thing.’ – Very true Adam. My experience of bringing love into my life at times has been extremely challenging. Afters years of building a life where I championed myself as being a tough woman. I have opened up to admitting to the fact I am sweet and very sensitive, then building up the courage to express this and let it be felt and or judged by others.
Very beautiful Abby, I know i have wanted to be the tough, independent woman, but learning now to be tender and gentle with myself. Not had and abusive like i have been in the past. I am definitely feeling how wonderful it is to treat myself differently, more lovingly. No matter what others say.
I can really relate with this Abby, ‘Afters years of building a life where I championed myself as being a tough woman. I have opened up to admitting to the fact I am sweet and very sensitive, then building up the courage to express this and let it be felt and or judged by others.’ I have been criticised for being too sensitive, now, I accept this is me, and stop trying to hide my sensitivity.
Well said Adam, and it is the wary and sly nature we develop about love that actually hurts us most. The incident where the hurts were felt happened long ago, but the choice to not be love has remained ever since.
I certainly agree Adam and well said. I feel we are collectively slowly waking up to the reality of our choices and ultimately we cannot escape from it forever, we will all one day wake up and start living a true way of life that is about taking responsibility, about love and truth. It may be a slow process but it has already begun. Just by realising this I feel joyful.
It’s like the small tragedy is a deterrent to keep us from seeing the big tragedy that is all around us. And the ‘trick’ is to see the tragedy but not get overwhelmed by it, to see it, feel it and return to the purpose of being love (again) and letting it out and letting it in.
I’m with you Adam. A great tragedy, and one that we witness and experience daily is the disconnection we walk around in. Surrounded by each other constantly and yet isolated and anxious behind a wall of protection …. and this just walking down the street!
We live to love and be loved and yet in shutting down our sensitivity in protection we disconnect from the innate ability to discern the true nature of everything – and pay the highest price as you say, by becoming wary of love.
We know Love and we know a world that otherwise will be, should we all begin to accept ourselves and let Love in, connect with each other and develop true relationship. Is the despair not simply our excuse to stay at odds with our true nature? To keep choosing the same old relentless patterns and justify us giving up on the greater truth we have long ago given way to for something set to tantalise our senses but forever leave us empty craving the next fix?
Hi Deborah, you raise some amazing questions – and certainly if I am honest with my own experiences, I have created the drama and anxiousness in order to avoid responsibility of the love that is and is always there. I agree that we are very clever in finding ways to not be who we truly are – when the fact is we know love inside out. But as I have been supported to be more honest with this, I can feel how every second is a choice for me to let love in and see the beauty that it brings to me and those around me. I returned to work a few days ago and I felt to go and speak to everyone individually – some people didn’t want to look up from their screens at first, but they did – and the connection I had with all of them was really beautiful – which was a marker to go forward with. People tend to respond to openness with openness, but it is all of our responsibility to walk in that openness and not shut down to the possibility of more love.
It is the trick we have deliberately fallen for that comfort is better and safer than truth and love; it is one of our biggest fall down and lies that we have fallen for. It is that which we haven’t given up that is our power, our love, our commitment to life. It is those comfortable /sticky ways that we have often chosen to live in order to not feel pain and sorrow. But guess what, what hurts more? Living in comfort denying our power, love, and light? Or choosing love and being aware of everything and feeling everything (also at times feeling and healing the hurts we have created). I know my choice and the answer to this question.
Well said Danna, this is a choice we constantly have to make and so we are the creators of our own hurt – or we chose love and all that comes with it.
So very beautiful Adam. We do not see that our retreat away from each other and the poisonous levels of mistrust we live with on a daily basis are the greatest tragedy on this planet. While our eyes are fixed on wars and overt conflict, we miss the fact that we have accepted a vastly diminished version of life, one that has substituted just making it the the weekend for love.
Look at a child. They are abundantly joyful. They skip instead of walk, they smile and laugh for no reason that an adult can fathom and in doing so grant us the permission to smile and laugh for no reason too. When do we lose this capacity for joy, and why do we accept this loss as a normal casualty of growing up? Our adult lives become strategies for coping, propping ourselves up as we go from day to day to day….and comfort ourselves imagining we are better off than the poor souls living in war zones.
yes, and is this not how we can begin to truly change the world we are in, which in its current state is experiencing such separation and devastation. It really does start with each of us being willing to re-connect and allow ourselves to trust that love, knowing love is who we are, it is our nature.
Yes, we have to show the world there is a different way, a way of living that is about love, is joyful, harmonious and that we can trust, this starts by re-connecting back to who we are in truth.
So true Adam and this is so needed by humanity. We are blinded by hurt, and unaware of the fact that we gave up on the love we were.
Exactly Harrison – we gave up on the love we all innately are and so we are in truth creating the hurt ourselves.
Yes Harrison and Eva, and giving up serves no one – least of all humanity as we are all here to shine and reflect to each other – giving up is a total disservice to all of us.
Why is it that we champion the hurts and reactions, but we do not champion love?
Perhaps we champion the hurts Melinda because it allows us identification and an excuse to delay connecting to the love that we all are in essence.
That’s it Jenny, on the mark exactly, it lets us also vie for sympathy – which then in turn confirms us in our misery – awful cycle…
Such a great point and a great way of expressing it! Always looking for everything that is wrong with us instead of everything that is amazing about us.
Could it be that if we champion love we immediately feel all that is not love, which can be quite a lot? If we champion hurts and reactions, we don’t feel anything that disturbs us, just the force (which we may mistake for strength) of expressing hurts and reactions.
This is so well said Christoph. The force that we use to not feel our hurts, and project our reactions onto the world has been mistaken for strength. All of human life is based on this force, and certain measures of it. Some use the force more than others, but it is not our true Universal Way.
Makes sense Christoph. It is much more comfortable to not feel any disturbance and just fit in with the hurts and reactions we have created as normal. Except that there is a disturbance from within – the deep feeling of sadness and emptiness for not championing the love we know is inside us all.
This is great what you have shared here Christoph. I feel that we love the drama that is fed from the hurts and reactions and we take comfort in this . Whereas if we choose love the drama dissipates and responsibility comes into play. Shying away from our loving responsibility creates delay. Why hold back the love and great sensitivity we hold when such honesty is needed today.
As being love is the greatest responsibility
“The greatest tragedy of this, however, is not the fact that we get hurt, but the fact that it makes us wary about love” – I agree. But love says that is not the end of the world, it is never too late to come back to love. No matter how long and how much we think we have suffered, love just is and so are we.
I love this Fumiyo, ‘no matter how long and how much we think we have suffered…., it is never too late to come back to love’. Love never gives up on us, it is always there waiting patiently for us to lift our heads, open our hearts, and let it in.
‘It is never too late to come back to love’ – I couldn’t agree more, no time like the present to just be me and make space to let others in.
This is something I have felt for many years and I found the ‘staying busy’ works like an ever present shield keeping people out and keeping my true self locked away.
There is nothing safe about it though, no feeling of security or space just anxiety and emptiness with a moment or two of happy thrown in just to cement the illusion that it’s not all bad or things are getting better..
But these days I now see it for what it is – an illusion.
Well said Fumiyo, love just is
Well said Adam, it is a tragedy that billions of human beings have given up on their true nature, on love. The papers should be full on this tragedy occurring around the globe, causing the misery, illness and disease, wars etc. we have today. The first steps back to love may not be easy, confronting, earth shaking even. But when the first step is taken we will realise that coming back to who we naturally are is far less energy consuming than keeping up the act and the walls we have build around our essence of love.
‘Growing up, we struggled with this fact’ I agree Adam. I recall the feeling as a child that what I was being shown in the world did not fit with how I felt about it. That it was a cold place in which we have to struggle to get by. Many of us have made this a reality, hence the reason for so much numbing these days through alcohol, drugs, food, sugar, caffeine, TV, etc. It is like we are living a million light years from what we really are – this is very sad, and a sadness which many of us feel as we pine the feeling of connection to ourselves and each other.
Agree Adam, the sad fact is that so many have given up on their true nature.
I often look at children and young adults similar to my age (20) and ask how does that turn into the grumpy old man on the end of the street, the greedy business man or the corrupt political official?
The world, as it is, sets us up to give up on ourselves. Therefore it does take dedication, commitment and love to live as the day we were born.
That is a great observation Luke, but what stands out for me is how far away from appreciating the young we as humanity have become. In fact quite dismissive. How often do we hear the occasional report on the TV of a child being mature far more than is expected for their age, but in actual fact they are wise, it’s just that we devalue what they have to say, with an arrogance that because we are older we know better. Is it any wonder we end up being old grumpy men and bitter women.
Yes Julie, I agree, Luke’s sharing is absolute gold.
So true Julie and Luke, awesome observations. I see daily through my work that children and many young people hold a true wisdom, are honest and don’t hold back who they are. There is a lot we can learn from them and being authentically ourselves in life.
Adam what you share here is very powerful. When we know to the bone that love is real and that it exists because we can feel it and know that we are made of it, it is an utter tragedy that we look out and see that the world seems to have long forgotten it and feels flat, or two dimensional as a result. As a child I remember being very confused by this but compromised myself in the need to be identified and to belong. When we dedicate ourselves to love we need to be sure that it is not the false romantic love we have fallen for that distracts and disappoints us, but the love we knew as children that is whole and all encompassing. What Anne is sharing is the spaciousness that is felt within this love as it is beholding and full. Returning to this love again and expressing it has become my purpose in life and I feel incredibly blessed that whilst I can look out at the two dimensional world we have created, I can now remain connected to the love that is me as my known normal.
‘As babies, we knew it. As small children, we knew it, but knew others did not, and so we questioned its authenticity.’ This is the point, the fulcrum – holding our knowing of love, feeling the truth and appreciating fully that like ‘bees and honey’, love and our resurrection as humanity do too.
A tragedy indeed Adam. Until I was introduced to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I did not ever imagine that the way the world was living was actually our creation. A creation away from our natural Impulsing state of being. This I agree having billions of people not living the Love that they are in all that they do a major catastrophe.
It is true that the world is very far from the love that we know it could be. Yet anyone who could feel the love within ourelves, we can choose to be love starting from right now. We are all a part of this world, the responsibility starts with us and love says, hey you just have live the true you, that is all that you have to do.
It is the greatest tragedy of all Adam, I have to agree. By 4, 5 or 6 years old most children have been ‘beaten’ into submission by the multitude of societal ideals and beliefs that fail to meet them as the love and wisdom they innately are and the terrible hurts this incurs. It’s time for another way of living, a way that Anne Mallat has come to know – spread the word!
Absolutely Jeanette! It has been interesting to observe the children in my son’s class over time becoming increasingly shut down, but there is still there that awesomeness clearly to be seen and felt – so delicious. Absolutely spread the word because our children deserve so much more.
A deeply touching and powerful comment Adam – thank you.
I never thought of things this way Adam, we are so busy worrying about everything else on the planet (war,famine,personal loss) that we fail to give attention to the biggest tragedy of all, the lack of love. Ironically if we did pay more attention to this issues the other world issues would probably take care of themselves. Thank you for you always appreciated contributions.
A child dies…. or when anyone close to us dies,we can get lost in the emotion of ‘ who is going to love me as much as they do/who can I love like that now they are gone. We blame God, anyone, for our loss, instead of lovingly celebrating the love we shared, and connecting to the love naturally within us and allowing it to be in all that we are.
Well said Adam. It is so obvious to see the grief at the occurrence at the unforeseen death of a child but as you so rightly say, “such an event does not even come close to the tragedy of watching billions of human beings give up on their true nature for a life of comfort and getting by that is in truth drudgery by compare.” And then this tragedy is compounded further by the fact that it is accepted as normal, the norm.
This is very understanding observation Adam. As children we were pure love but because we did not see it around us we gave up on love in one way or another, such is the story of humanity. “We need love like a bee needs honey” and cherish those precious moments when there is the smallest crumb of love, then return to ordinary loveless life in fear that we will be hurt again. What a wasteful distorted attitude, Love can’t hurt you but an absence of love in your life certainly can.
Beautifully expressed Adam. Having abandoned ourselves as a human race from our true nature, dismissing our love, shunning our sensitivity and the sensitivity of others and we end up in the world we live in today, abrim with conflicts and wars big and small, and suffering that is endured on a daily basis which is deemed as normal. The ills that make up what we label as ‘life today’ stem from our deepest pain of walking away from our love. Everything we do thereafter is to try and numb out this pain.
“We are remarkably fragile and sensitive to being hurt in ways we do not even allow ourselves to realise”. It is only recently that I am allowing myself to feel how true this is. I have found that I reacted to and felt hurt by a lot of things in life as a child. I was told verbally and energetically not to feel that way and so mastered a way of being that avoided feeling all that I felt. This became so automatic that it now takes consciously choosing to feel to override this. I have been surprised that feeling hasn’t devastated me. On the contrary, understanding how sensitive I and everyone else is, has made a lot of sense. It explains why we do some of the crazy things we do to avoid feeling and has allowed me to accept a deeper way of living.
This is a great observation you make Adam and one point that I find very poignant is, “As babies, we knew it [love]. As small children, we knew it, but knew others did not, and so we questioned its authenticity.” This loss of trust in love and to doubt its authenticity is the foundation of all the ills of society.
This is great Adam and I know I left this behind and have been fighting with building this back again until recently, it is well worth this work though Adam as you say, it is well worth going through the tough hard part as there is so much to enjoy thereafter and this I am realising does not end. And yes this world without question needs Love and an enormous amount of it.
Agreed Adam, there is no comparison when we see so many given up on life, when the choice to live the love they are is unbeknownst to them and right there within their hearts. Articles like Anne’s reveal that it is simply making the choice to look within and follow what feels true for you, not in perfection but in the knowing that you are living more honestly who you truly are.