I was watching the news, and with all the Brexit coverage, there were lots of shots of politicians leaving their houses on their way to work. Although their views on the Brexit results may have differed markedly, there was one thing that seemed to be consistent with them all, and that was their smile.
Even with absolute pandemonium ensuing outside, they still managed to smile for the cameras; some even managed a childlike, nervous wave, as if to say “I’m so confident right now, here I am.” But what I realised didn’t add up, was that the smile was saying one thing but the eyes and the body were very much, saying another.
I reflected on this awareness of these different messages within myself, as I know for a fact that I push out the same smile to the world; this kind of “everything is going to be ok” smile. It’s a smile of total protection, because if people see me smiling, then surely their eyes are going to clock it and the brain translates this message as “this person is ok.”
I realised that I present this so that the world leaves me alone, thus it is a form of protection.
If I am smiling then I don’t have to present discomfort or sadness, and if the world doesn’t see this then I don’t have to answer to it. Maybe even through repeating this behaviour I can convince myself that I am actually ok, and that the feelings inside of me of panic, worry and unrest are not applicable and that the smile I wear is actually true.
It reminds me of a clown – no wonder I have never liked clowns – are they reflecting a truth within me that I am not comfortable in seeing myself?
For my birthday I chose to have a photography session with one of the many amazing photographers who belong to the Universal Medicine Student Body. There I was, in the presence of this amazing woman who was offering me absolute space to be myself, and indeed actively encouraging it, and yet as each minute passed by I noticed how sore my jaw and face were becoming with my “for the camera” smile.
It was such a habit to smile in preparation for the camera, that after a while it was actually becoming increasingly uncomfortable to continue to smile and the quality of the shots deteriorated significantly.
Funnily enough, as the photos went into editing we both felt the session, although fun and subsequently providing some decent shots, required a re-take. There was something about the whole experience that was very exposing for me, and in that, I realised that I wasn’t being in touch with myself, or my essence, at all. I was just presenting an image of myself that would be caught in the frame… where was I?
Cue a slight identity crisis. But what is remarkable is that now I am aware of these fake, plastic smiles, I can keep a close eye on them. It’s not hard, as they feel completely forced and leave you physically sore at the end of it.
What I have learnt is that there is absolutely no hiding behind these smiles or these attempts to make the world think that everything is ok. Just as a politician can’t tell us that everything is ‘ok’, as we observe the total chaos ensuing, neither can I flash a smile to the world and have everyone believe that I am just ‘tickety-boo’.
It is almost a mockery of the fact that people feel first; how arrogant is that? Here’s me thinking that I can use a smile to hide away, but all the while forgetting that people, whether consciously or not, are aware of what I am actually expressing and inevitably losing trust in me, as I am presenting one image, but actually presenting something completely different.
With this awareness, it’s now time to play and ask the deeper questions. When do I smile in ways that hurt my face? What is happening around me to cause the smile? Does it happen off camera, as well as on camera? Does it happen with certain people? Does it happen in certain situations more than others? How does it leave me feeling afterwards? Do I want to run away and eat a chocolate cake or does it leave me feeling delightful?
If there is one thing I am always grateful for when it comes to the presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, it is the ever-expanding support in the development of my awareness and mini self-experiments. I wonder what will be exposed underneath all these fake smiles…
By Phil, Sales Exec, Ascot, UK
Further Reading:
Energetic Integrity an Energetic Responsibility
Life Behind The Mask
Picture imperfect – women we have been framed
699 Comments
“this kind of “everything is going to be ok” smile is not as innocent as it seems to be, it actually seperates us from each other. We are hurting ourselves something we can feel in our face but also the other gets a box without the present in it.
It is true that we do lose trust in people if they say one thing with their mouth but the body is communicating something else. Who are we really fooling?
When we look with our eyes we may see only a smile, when we feel with our heart we know wether this smile is genuine or not, a whole world is revealed when we open our heart to see.
Smiles are a great way of hiding your insecurities within yourself; you look the part on the outside so no one is going sense of ask if something is bothering you and why you are not yourself. And you can fool yourself too by falsely feeling everything is fine whilst deep down it is not. It exposes our lack of willingness to be honest even if it looks great.
When I am true to the fact that we feel first, the lie of turning on a false smile for appearances sake is exposed for the deception it is. And why the fake smile? Why not the value of presenting me just as I am in any moment? Honesty is a basic standard and foundation for life and all our relationships and it gives us the ground to develop so much more.
“the smile was saying one thing but the eyes and the body were very much, saying another.” As a child I always was fearful of circus clowns. A plastic painted on smile is no laughing matter.
Great point, Mary. Is that why clowns tend to feel so creepy?
Gorgeous Phil, no doubt that those masks fall off when we choose to be more willing to be who we are.
I have clocked myself getting very close to a plastic smile a few times lately and once clocked made a very quick choice to release it. What alerted me was that I could feel my face beginning to change shape, my lips hardening, in fact the whole of my head taking on a most unnatural tightness. Once upon a time I would not have even noticed what was unfolding in my face but these days with an expanded level of awareness of the falsity of a ‘plastic smile’ it is impossible not to feel the plastic mask coming on.
Plastic smiles… there is nothing great about them, full of falsity and niceness they don’t connect to the heart and joyful expression.
A fake smile is easy to pick so it is only ourselves we are fooling when we think we get away with it.
The more we read what lies behind a plastic smile we are given glimpses to the levels of sadness, anger and rage that resides when we choose not to connect to the true beauty that lies within.
When we connect to the gorgeousness of who we are we cannot but help smile as we share ourselves with another in greeting, but to smile when it is expected of us or to hide what we are feeling is so dishonest and deceiving, I know I have done it in the past out of protection, not wanting to be seen as weak or not having it all together.
Fake smiles are not great to receive and leave a feeling of emptiness. Similes that come with joy and a true connection are a piece of magic that are transformative.
It doesn’t just stop at smiles, because i also notice the way I can laugh that is strained, anxious, cautious or relieved rather than from a true joy or humour – it is like a catch all response to laugh or hull or even just sort of grin in reaction to things rather than a true response.
Plastic smiles feel horrible whether they are given or received so to speak. A true smile radiates, bringing joy and light to the world.
“Plastic Smiles – Do we Hide Behind Them?” – yes, and also what with things like instant messenger or whatsapp so too can we, and do we through the emoticon symbols and or words present such plastic-ness as well. Allowing ourselves to really be open to feel behind what is seen through picture, word or phrase reveals the nature of (our) intent, to reveal the whole picture.
It is interesting how we can clock when people are smiling to cover up and pretend that they are ok, instead of allowing the vulnerability to show through. In those moments we tell ourselves that the person does not want to tell us or that it is a private matter, and we should not pry, but what if we started the conversation and gave the other the opportunity to get it off their chest.
The effects of smiling a “plastic smile” is felt immediately in the body, and in the main it will be instantly clocked by the one/ones we are smiling at. A smile without a connection to our heart is a smile with no substance, whereas one with connection has the power to change someone’s day; and that person could be us.
It is amazing what comes out of a seemingly innocuous photograph shoot
“I realised that I wasn’t being in touch with myself, or my essence, at all. I was just presenting an image of myself that would be caught in the frame… where was I?”
Such a great way to understand that for most of us we put on a false act in fact so many we can become a chameleon in company and forget who we truly are.
Phil you have a great smile!
When we smile from who we are the world cannot but smile with us. My nana always used to say a smile is infectious – she was right – a true smile brightens up our way and affects everyone we meet.
It is interesting how when we smile we don’t stop to look at one’s lips but are instantly held by each other’s eyes – no wonder it brightens our day!
It is actually revolting that we have a shaped world where we think that we need to protect ourselves from being or expressing honestly. It makes no sense that being honest and transparent is a weakness and the degree in which we can display falseness is a show of strength, and worse still that we are continuing to allow. It is getting us nowhere, and as we can see as the realness, magic and power of what life could be is being buried by a blanket of deceit, lies and corruption.
True Phil we seem to endlessly hide our true potential of why we are here and what we have to reflect to another, because it might not suit them. We can create many fake smiles or pretending behavior that masks away the true angle that we need to reflect to another. Hence stripping away those false ways of being, lets you be and come out of your hiding.
Our smile can hide so much. We would be much better off being honest so that people get to feel the real person behind the smile.
Fake smiling.. we do it all the time but it’s such a tool of protection and disconnection, and the ironic thing is that we and others feel and know the falsity of it.
When we accept that we don’t need to be perfect and have it all together, that expressing who we are is absolutely okay and actually necessary, the need to hide behind a fake smile starts to diminish.
“the smile was saying one thing but the eyes and the body were very much, saying another.” We can all read when another is ‘putting on a front’ but somehow we seem to forget that others can just as easily read when we are hiding behind a well practiced mask.
In truth we all know when a smile is fake or not, its just we choose not to feel it, yet connect to ourselves and no expression can slip by without us feeling the depth in it and indeed if it is true or not.
A long time ago somebody took a photo of me and I could feel my whole body shutting down so the photo showed me being very closed. What surprised me was the force with which it happened while I was simply sitting there and not doing anything.
This is a good topic to talk about – the everything OK fake smile – something I am familiar with and have played to in the past. It actually hurts to do this because I know it is not truly me. So knowing that we have an opportunity to choose differently – to be honest – to stop playing into the false picture when the world is asking to see more truth.
How confusing it is by giving all different signals in the same moment.
Children start to stop trusting their feelings as the field of acts around them is so big.
Especially if the children are forced to accept that false signal.
I have seen children fall into the trap of offering a fake smile in order to please. When we start this young what then becomes the behaviour that we call the norm as we move into adulthood?
Plastic smiles and fake laughs are often used to hide nervousness. But it’s not a very good hiding place as everyone can see straight through both.
I had a photo shoot recently. What it showed me was just how much I disconnect from my beauty and sexiness because of being in front of another and holding onto expectations on how I need to be disconnecting from my natural untouched pure beauty within.