A ‘sea change’ in the modern-day sense is where a person moves from a city or urban location to experience life in a more rural or seaside (hence the ‘sea’ change) location. People choose such a move for many reasons, perhaps because they become restless and crave a change in circumstance, perhaps they feel the pace of the city has become too much and want a simpler life, imagining a life by the sea or by a tree (hence the ‘tree-change’) will offer that simplicity.
I recently read an article in a magazine where the writer felt that her life was fine enough but humdrum: drive the children here, pick up the groceries there, watch telly at night and spend weekends making to-do lists on what needs to be done around the house but never actually doing it. And so she packed up and moved her family to a little island on the other side of the world.
On arrival the location was magical, picture postcard enchanting. Life was simpler, there were far fewer people, many more trees and lots and lots of sea.
But the writer was honest too. While her environment was gorgeous, she still found herself and her husband driving the children here, picking up the groceries there, watching telly at night and spending the weekends making to-do lists that never got done. She was still drooling over images of other people living in other parts of the world and still planning the next vacation or adventure, real or fantastical.
This article struck a chord with me, as while I haven’t made a sea change – I did move to a semi-rural area 2 years ago but that was more to do with logistics than seeking an escape. I have spent an enormous part of my life wishing for and planning holidays, some eventuated, but mostly never even taken. The grass was always greener somewhere else.
I don’t spend nearly as much time these days planning to be somewhere else, but occasionally do find myself trawling travel sites and house swap sites, imagining what it would be like to live ‘not here.’ Which is very interesting because my ‘here’ is absolutely beautiful – that most would consider the ‘greener somewhere else’ place.
What I have come to realise is that when feeling that restlessness that I need to get away, take a holiday or make a sea change, I am wanting to get away from myself. It is actually a disenchantment with my life because of the choices I have been making that I want to run away from. But you can’t run away from yourself and your choices. You can only deal with them (the consequences) and then make your future choices to be more in line with your truth.
Serge Benhayon is a fascinating philosopher who talks about these kinds of things all the time and I once remember hearing him presenting something like if we don’t like the way our relationship is, then don’t just blame the other person or the environment around you, change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens.
I look at the concept of the sea change like this too – changing our environment in the hope of feeling more settlement with our life won’t work: change who we have become first, then see how life looks like then. Probably much cheaper that way too!
By Suzanne Anderssen
Further Reading:
Is change possible? Understanding the choices we make and why!
Returning to our essence
Are We Taking Responsibility For Our Own Lives?
563 Comments
“I once remember hearing him [Serge Benhayon] presenting something like if we don’t like the way our relationship is, then don’t just blame the other person or the environment around you, change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens” – this is very true and after 5 years having repatriated back home to London from Singapore found there was a period of adjustment to the smaller living space of my own mortgaged property. I wanted more space [like I nostalgically had before], thought about sizing up and looking for 2-bed places.. and other different parts of London. It was only after the adjustment within myself that saw me deepening an appreciation for myself and of my choices that the re-adjustment to my living space occurred and I fell back in love with space and the neighbourhood I’d been in for the past 15 years all over again and where nostalgia for “what was” fell away to the joy of “what is”.
I do recognize this Suzanne. I also was planning for the next holidays, the next trip of great things to do as well. That dropped away when I started to build the connection to my inner heart, my essence. No need anymore to seek that beauty outside of me.
I can relate to having daydreamed about pastures new and how that would solve all of my problems. Then one day I found myself in California at the age of 19 and nothing had changed, except the scenery. I soon realised that nothing changes and that wherever we go our baggage goes with us.
It seems all too common for people to crave a life in typical holiday destinations where life appears simpler and the pace slower. All too often once they move they get frustrated when the house renovations take longer, they start to come up against another version of red tape that they didn’t know was there when they were on holiday, or they despair that there is not enough of the systems of organisation like healthcare provision that they left behind them. The grass isn’t actually greener, and the you that walks it is the same you unless you make the change, which you can do anywhere.
I once read a fascinating quote, complete with cartoon, ‘Who wants a change, and everyone raises their hands, and then the audience is asked Who wants to change and almost no-one raises their hand’ and this blog highlights this, we can change the externals but ultimately it’s about us and our approach to life and our relationship with it, so the only true change comes from us and how we are.
‘change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens’ . Thank you, I know this is true from past experience and yet there is still a situation that I keep getting stuck on…..great to read this today to nudge me to change…make changes from within…and let them ripple out…..
Interesting that a ‘sea change’ does not necessarily change anything unless we are willing to go deeper with ourselves and explore our unsettlement and why we felt we needed a change in the first place. We are either moving towards evolution or running away from what is being lovingly offered.
A true sea change is a switch in the energy we let run our lives, cutting through the consciousness and ideals we think are us. Change the vibration we align to, and our life will flow in a true way.
True Joseph the only way we truly can make a change is to align to the vibration we belong to and this means that we don’t need a different view when we look outside, it is in our innerworld where we find true settlement to be in life.
Thank you Suzanne, clearly exposing the fact that change must come from within first, than the other aspects around us may be overviewed, but than again from a loving surrender, not a controlling thought, as that doesn’t work or bring space to another to grow.
It is amazing to experience and to feel the difference in making changes because they are real and timely, and not because of a running away. The former being filled with love, the latter being still yet to discover what love there is waiting for us inside.
It is interesting how we can either react to the inherent tensions in life perhaps craving a geographical change to avoid dealing with a situation or we also move because we are responding to what we have felt is next for us. Both might lead to a move but one comes from a place of avoidance and the other from where we need to go next.
Letting go of the images we have how life should look like and will never fullfill, will change who we have become based on these images, there is such a beautiful unfoldment when we start to value that which is inside of us, the ‘true greener grass’.
How different it feels to be willing to take responsibility for one’s life, to wake up in the morning with complete commitment to facing all of life’s challenges with love, grace, and understanding. This way, no matter where we are or what circumstance we may find ourselves in, life continues to evolve and we, the creators of life, are given opportunity after opportunity to change or even to transform all that has been before in to a new standard for living what is felt and known to be true.
Its so true we can’t ever run away from ourselves and our choices, we can move to the other side of the world to our dream location yet if we are not healed inside we always take our hurts with us – different picture same flavour.
It is interesting how we often react to the restlessness we feel in our body by looking outside ourselves to feel better yet when we choose instead to face it, by being honest with ourselves and looking deeper within we are able to let go of our issues, take responsibility for ourselves and evolve to embrace a deeper level of love that communicates what is no longer honouring or supportive for our body.
“change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens.” Wherever we move in the world we take ourselves with us, and unless we change who we are, the changed conditions around us won’t make any difference.
I can relate to this part about living somewhere beautiful, a place where many people do actually come to visit for their holidays, and yet still my life is full of the normal activities of life, which for me and my family was a choice. We decided many years ago that wherever we are going to live, it would be beautiful and abundant with treasured values such as large green spaces and woodlands, people we love, simple or easy commutes to work, quiet. And all of this has worked and our life feels amazing and the only time it doesn’t is when we stop appreciating not only the wonderful qualities that are here, but the fact that we have chosen them.
Change who we have become first and then see … fantastic advice, it takes us back to the simplicity of our own responsibility and to the fact that these are the changes we can make.
We always take ourselves with us, where ever we go but there have been times in my life that the grass seemed greener somewhere else. It were moments I only looked outside of myself and ‘forgot’ my inner world which now is so much more of value to me than any place in the world.
We take our problems with us wherever we go, changing location affects nothing, until we deal with those issues that are harming us nothing has closure.
Suzanne, thank you for sharing what Serge presented; ‘if we don’t like the way our relationship is, then don’t just blame the other person or the environment around you, change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens.’ This is super helpful as I can feel how easy it is to not take responsibility for how we are in our relationships and to blame the other and to want to leave a relationship or a place we live for the search for something ‘better’, but in truth nothing will change and we will still have the same issues unless we are willing to look at how we are.
You can’t run away from yourself and your choices.. interesting how we think that we can run away from ourselves and our choices when really we are the same person, just in different scenery, a different backdrop. We can try to run away, deny or bury what we feel but it is always waiting for us to deal with, at whatever point we decide we can face and handle it.
It’s funny to think that moving our home can change the things we don’t like about our life when it’s the movement of our body that makes the changes, when we stop all those behaviours that keep us small and diminished. The trigger for change can be a move of home, when we are prepared to see in a new light the needlessness for such games.
So wisely shared Suzanne. No amount of changing the world that surrounds us will change the truth of what we are feeling within. As such it is wise to take an honest look at why there is tension or restlessness in our lives, as an opportunity to address what it is we are not living for ourselves, and how we can live with greater honor and connection to the richness of our love that is already residing within. As once this is established we then have a much clearer understanding of what fits and what doesn’t fit with this loving quality.
Changing your location, furniture, job and partner makes no difference unless we are truly open to being honest about how we are living and what no longer supports us to evolve.
For many years I wanted to move and felt unsettled, and always put it down to the fact that I travelled every three years or so with my parents as a child. Then when I couldn’t move, I did the same thing with jobs, jumping from one excitement to another. If we are unsettled within ourselves, it will reflect in our actions and how we see the world.
I agree that the unsettled feeling of wanting a change or a holiday comes from the discontent within yourself. It goes with you wherever you go so a sea change does nothing to fix it. The only thing I have found that satiates the restlessness is stillness, a feeling of being home within myself. Then it doesn’t matter where I am.
What we don’t realises that when we follow the ‘greener grass’ we are in fact chasing pictures that have been imposed upon us. It is not coming from what we truly feel inside, but acting as an escape from it. And in most occasion we eventually start to see the cracks and the picture starts to crumble leaving us in need of the next or a better one.
I have travelled a lot in my younger years and came to the same conclusion, life is different in the other places but a praise on earth simply does not exist outside of ourselves. I have found my paradise within myself, in the simplicity of my life, the beauty and depth of my relationships, my ability to love and be loved and true purpose in everyday life.
Until I met Serge Benhayon I wasn’t even remotely interested in philosophy. Now I can’t get enough of the true philosophers of this world, including Serge Benhayon.
The sea change is probably one of the biggest changes people make to make their life “happy”: it just doesn’t work as a consistency. Just like the career change, the new partner and next self improvement spiritual path people choose. And many, many other smaller and big things people can do or buy to have a great life. Great article Suzanne, thank you.
I can really relate to this Suzanne, having spent most of my life seeking what was over the next horizon. But having re-connected to the magic in the everyday by living in tune with my body and the loveliness inside me, I enjoy the simple things in life and have no need for anything else.
It is not that the grass is greener on the other side it is just that we haven’t appreciated ourselves enough and made the choices that truly honour and cherish us.
Many people fear change because it is the unknown, which brings uncertainty about the future. But how we live today influences the future of tomorrow – thus we can change our future by changing the choices we make today.
I love the common sense approach and clarity of your writing. So true, when we move in the energy of wanting to escape what we are in- it comes with us. And when we move with a true impulse and in connection to ourselves then there is the space for true change.
To change within ourselves asks some stronger commitment to oneself in care and love.
The esoteric healing modalities are very supporting for let go of old patterns as all is found also in our bodies. To release stuck energies we Can build more love again in our body.
I used to be really restless and very non committed in life, non committed and also scared of staying in one place for too long .. like I had to keep moving or I thought things would just get really stagnant. All in all it was very stressful and unsettling. However with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I am now more commitment to life than ever before (I even have a mortgage!!!) and love the work I do so much so that I have to make time for myself to stop and rest. So this is a huge turn a round for me. One thing I am aware of is that living in London I do not give myself time to just be in nature as much as I would like to, even just going for a short walk and being with the trees around me which I know is great for my wellbeing. So I am always learning to refine ways to truly support me.
There have been many times when I too have attempted to dive out of my circumstance, thinking that this would solve and get rid of all the complications and the misery. But I can see now how each time there was a driving force behind me that ultimately just did not want to face what I had created, to take responsibility for what I had created, and to put the work in to changing what affects those creations were having.
I feel the same Shami. I have often thought too that i could not do whatever was necessary to be done and then when I started I was amazed at how easy it was and the amount of support there was available