A ‘sea change’ in the modern-day sense is where a person moves from a city or urban location to experience life in a more rural or seaside (hence the ‘sea’ change) location. People choose such a move for many reasons, perhaps because they become restless and crave a change in circumstance, perhaps they feel the pace of the city has become too much and want a simpler life, imagining a life by the sea or by a tree (hence the ‘tree-change’) will offer that simplicity.
I recently read an article in a magazine where the writer felt that her life was fine enough but humdrum: drive the children here, pick up the groceries there, watch telly at night and spend weekends making to-do lists on what needs to be done around the house but never actually doing it. And so she packed up and moved her family to a little island on the other side of the world.
On arrival the location was magical, picture postcard enchanting. Life was simpler, there were far fewer people, many more trees and lots and lots of sea.
But the writer was honest too. While her environment was gorgeous, she still found herself and her husband driving the children here, picking up the groceries there, watching telly at night and spending the weekends making to-do lists that never got done. She was still drooling over images of other people living in other parts of the world and still planning the next vacation or adventure, real or fantastical.
This article struck a chord with me, as while I haven’t made a sea change – I did move to a semi-rural area 2 years ago but that was more to do with logistics than seeking an escape. I have spent an enormous part of my life wishing for and planning holidays, some eventuated, but mostly never even taken. The grass was always greener somewhere else.
I don’t spend nearly as much time these days planning to be somewhere else, but occasionally do find myself trawling travel sites and house swap sites, imagining what it would be like to live ‘not here.’ Which is very interesting because my ‘here’ is absolutely beautiful – that most would consider the ‘greener somewhere else’ place.
What I have come to realise is that when feeling that restlessness that I need to get away, take a holiday or make a sea change, I am wanting to get away from myself. It is actually a disenchantment with my life because of the choices I have been making that I want to run away from. But you can’t run away from yourself and your choices. You can only deal with them (the consequences) and then make your future choices to be more in line with your truth.
Serge Benhayon is a fascinating philosopher who talks about these kinds of things all the time and I once remember hearing him presenting something like if we don’t like the way our relationship is, then don’t just blame the other person or the environment around you, change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens.
I look at the concept of the sea change like this too – changing our environment in the hope of feeling more settlement with our life won’t work: change who we have become first, then see how life looks like then. Probably much cheaper that way too!
By Suzanne Anderssen
Is change possible? Understanding the choices we make and why!
Returning to our essence
Are We Taking Responsibility For Our Own Lives?
Finding a reason to change our lot seems like a cop-out, as if we are looking for a get-out-of-jail free card, so that life becomes devoid of a regular rhythm and deepening in the relationships we are in. So when we reverse that, we have an earth change, where we keep our feet on the ground and improve every relationship we have within our community.
We change the wrapping on the parcel as many times as we like but if the contents doesn’t change then nothing really changes.
I love how timely we read these blogs, that there is something there we need to hear. We often look to blame others for relationships, be it family, work, partners etc or how our life is, if only, but the restless comes from inside. When I am settled in myself all the stuff that so call bothers me, doesn’t even cross my mind.
Recently my work has felt a bit…stuck. I couldn’t quite work it out until I stopped and reflected on the whole situation, my contributions included. What I found was that it wasn’t work that’s stuck but me putting the handbrake on in certain instances. As I address why I’ve put the handbrake up chances are high that work won’t feel so stuck.
Learning to Love-ourselves turns the whole world upside down! so maybe we would end up in the ocean on the other side of the world now that would be a see, sea change.
This is very good advice, and makes perfect sense, ‘ if we don’t like the way our relationship is, then don’t just blame the other person or the environment around you, change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens.’
Suzanne, this stands out for me reading your article this time; ‘ changing our environment in the hope of feeling more settlement with our life won’t work: change who we have become first, then see how life looks like then. Probably much cheaper that way too!’ I have observed that moving abroad or looking for that ‘better place’ to live doesn’t work as we take ourselves with us and so the same issues will be there. Working on our inner world feels key and then making true choices from there.
I can relate to living with the notion that the grass was always greener, but I have learnt that it isn’t. Looking back I can see that my parents also had this belief and as a result, we would move every three years. Always onto something exciting and then I did the same in the airforce for 20 years.
Very interesting to read how we can want to physically escape to get away from ourselves. I can relate to this completely in the sense that I am not appreciating me and therefore cannot appreciate what is around me.
Change from the inside out can be more transformative than the other way round.
“I once remember hearing him [Serge Benhayon] presenting something like if we don’t like the way our relationship is, then don’t just blame the other person or the environment around you, change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens” – this is very true and after 5 years having repatriated back home to London from Singapore found there was a period of adjustment to the smaller living space of my own mortgaged property. I wanted more space [like I nostalgically had before], thought about sizing up and looking for 2-bed places.. and other different parts of London. It was only after the adjustment within myself that saw me deepening an appreciation for myself and of my choices that the re-adjustment to my living space occurred and I fell back in love with space and the neighbourhood I’d been in for the past 15 years all over again and where nostalgia for “what was” fell away to the joy of “what is”.
I do recognize this Suzanne. I also was planning for the next holidays, the next trip of great things to do as well. That dropped away when I started to build the connection to my inner heart, my essence. No need anymore to seek that beauty outside of me.
I can relate to having daydreamed about pastures new and how that would solve all of my problems. Then one day I found myself in California at the age of 19 and nothing had changed, except the scenery. I soon realised that nothing changes and that wherever we go our baggage goes with us.
Yes, we have to deal with our baggage, if we feel restless and want to ‘get away’, we just take that baggage with us, until we heal it and let it go, ‘ It is actually a disenchantment with my life because of the choices I have been making that I want to run away from.’
‘change yourself and your approach in the relationship first and then review and see what happens’ . Thank you, I know this is true from past experience and yet there is still a situation that I keep getting stuck on…..great to read this today to nudge me to change…make changes from within…and let them ripple out…..
Interesting that a ‘sea change’ does not necessarily change anything unless we are willing to go deeper with ourselves and explore our unsettlement and why we felt we needed a change in the first place. We are either moving towards evolution or running away from what is being lovingly offered.
A true sea change is a switch in the energy we let run our lives, cutting through the consciousness and ideals we think are us. Change the vibration we align to, and our life will flow in a true way.
True Joseph the only way we truly can make a change is to align to the vibration we belong to and this means that we don’t need a different view when we look outside, it is in our innerworld where we find true settlement to be in life.