Before I came to any of the Universal Medicine courses, I slept around and had sex quite regularly, without much consideration for myself. I felt that having sex was just a normal, socially acceptable thing to do. Settling for sex was a way of getting some kind of attention, even if it wasn’t more than “wham bam thank you man”! What I was searching for was love and a loving relationship – but what I settled for was sex.
And it wasn’t even good sex I settled for. All it was is this: “Here I am, let’s get it over and done with because at least I have your attention for a little bit because I know – sooner or later – you will be gone and I will be on my own again”.
Because of my past experiences with being sexually abused and never really dealing with that issue, I never really felt safe and supported by a partner, even if some were doing their best at the time to support me.
More often than not, I would not want to have sex, but I went through with it regardless because it was better than feeling alone or being rejected and because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
I would do so much to not be rejected. I would give up me, and lay myself down so that I would be ‘loved’.
What is crazy is that none of that felt right to me. I knew it didn’t feel right at the time but I did it anyway. I didn’t ever get the ‘love’ I was searching for.
- I didn’t know there was a difference between having Sex and Making Love.
- I didn’t know that I would feel better within myself if I chose to love and care for myself first.
- I didn’t realise that giving my body over to someone else to use for sex was hurting me deeply.
- I was not aware that there was another way.
What I have learned from Universal Medicine, presentations by Serge Benhayon and from other Esoteric practitioners, is that there is no need to search for love or attention from outside and that I can be the One who loves me and cares for me tenderly.
I have been building this love for myself over the last 3 years and at first it was quite strange and foreign. This fact reveals how unloving I really was with myself. I was not aware of how sacred and precious I am.
Now that I love me, there is no way I would just hand my body over to be used for sex; there is no way I would now settle for sex when searching for love. From the role models that I have now, I can see what a true ‘gentleman’ looks and behaves like, and I can see what a loving relationship can be like and all I can say is it is far from what I have ever experienced. It brings me so much joy in seeing that there is indeed another way – a truly loving way. I have not yet experienced this other way, but I am aware that it exists and that is awesome.
My choices to cherish me, and to not settle for sex, have been inspired by the Esoteric Women’s Group and presentations from Natalie Benhayon and Serge Benhayon of Universal Medicine.
By Rosie Bason, Mullumbimby, Australia
473 Comments
A very long time ago someone said to me: “How can you love anyone unless you love yourself first?” But there was no indication of how that ‘loving yourself’ was best done! As you’ve experienced Rosie, we judge how loving we are by what we do – giving ourselves sexually, thinking that we are ‘making love’, and not hurting anyone’s feelings…. a mythology fed to women for a long time….. It’s wonderful that you have seen how this myth works and made the choice to break free of it, opening yourself to greater possibilities. Me too; it was Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon who helped me understand the ‘how to’ of loving myself first, so that I can love others in a whole new and wonderful way.
Exactly Dianne. The words we are told about loving ourselves are nice to hear, but they are like some far distant mirage, so elusive as to be practically meaningless. How do you love yourself at all??
And the notion of “I’m not hurting anybody” and its companion line “It’s my body I can do what I like with it”…entire falsehoods that trample our innate qualities.
It was Serge Benhayon who taught me the way of living with love for myself. That way is now my way. He has shown me that a man can regard a woman in absolute love and sacredness with not one drop of sexual energy.
I have been inspired by Natalie Benhayon, a woman who lives with utter regard for her tenderness, and sacredness.
There is no way I would return to that old way of saying yes to sex when no other part of me would ever agree.
The premise that sex satisfies – is actually a false – how can an act that does not hold both people equally be truly satisfying? I have also used sex as a ‘route’ (pun intended) to Love, only becoming very jaded and dis-satisfied with getting sex and the sex it self! The foundation is then shown for what it isn’t, without love for one self, we forever make choices that are constantly made to feed and quell a deepening emptiness for the warmth of Love that we all know innately. We search for it, as we get older in other bodies hoping that the physical touch will stem the cravings – it never does and the desperation continues. There is a point though when we all get to feel that this can’t go on and it is usually when we stop and really feel what the emptiness is, that we get to feel the aching part of us that asks always for Love. We start to build this back into our lives and our bodies and we recognise that love for us supports relationship with others and ourselves – we start to value and appreciate, and we start to feel our worth. Love is not sex – sex is merely an act devoid of love.
Thank you Lee, I love what you share here. Very true.
Awesome Lee – I love what you share here – “Love is not sex – sex is merely an act devoid of love”.
‘Love is not sex – sex is merely an act devoid of love.’ This hits home for me. I remember the first time that I had sex, it was with someone I loved, and he loved me. I was expecting sex to be an amazingly loving experience, but instead was left feeling quite let down. I just remember saying to myself “but there is no love in this”. Thank you Lee and Rosie for clarifying the difference between the two. It would be truly beautiful to celebrate a shared love by making love.
Beautifully expressed Lee. Sex in itself is a replacement for the love we seek. It can be cheap, easy to get but ultimately it is empty, and leaves us yearning for more of that fix so that we don’t feel the emptiness. It’s no wonder that porn is becoming more prevalent younger and younger and that society is sex obsessed. There is a massive drought of true love, and so we seek something that can give us a semblance of this love — but ironically the more we settle for sex, the less love and sense of true worth can we feel for ourselves.
Massive drought of true love!
Say it like it is Katerina.
Thank you for sharing on such a sensitive topic. I also used to feel sex was what I wanted. I’ve come to feel how disregarding this is, to the point that I have been physically sick as a result. The focus on sex is a real problem for our society and is the cause of so much pain and hurt for so many.
Being able to make love with someone else is a part of being loving in our lives. It is through Universal Medicine that this has been clarified for me
Feeling physically sick – that is great that you could actually stop and feel what was going on for you and not just get excited in the moment and disregard what you were feeling.
At the time that I was having sex I wouldn’t have been able to have made love, in fact it would have been impossible. Making love requires both people to be stripped back and vulnerable and that was something that I not only had no knowledge of but was simply way too protected to be.
Thanks Rosie for your very honest description of the difference between sex and making love. For a long time I did not know the difference either. In the past when I had sex with a woman I knew it did not feel right but went through with it anyway for similar reasons as you describe – avoiding rejection and hurt, not wanting to disappoint or let someone else down, wanting to be liked, desired or even loved. It felt like a right of passage as a man to try to have as much sex as possible with as many women as possible. But all of this was coming from a lack of my own self worth and a desperate attempt really to cover it up. Now I do understand that if I have a truly loving relationship with myself then I am able to truly love another with tenderness, respect, and equalness and it is a natural sharing of this love rather than a cover up operation!
So good to read men’s take on this subject!
And the lack of self worth!! Bang that hits home for me.
Rosie such an open and honest article. Sex you can get anytime, but an intimate relationship with the one person in your life beats a one night stand any day.
Great point Mike, its true, sex you can get anytime and that is what we get reflected all the time. But true intimacy is not something you get and we don’t get it reflected at all. Intimacy starts with me, how I am with me and the relationship I have with myself, From there, I can build intimacy with others. One night stands, sex , porn and even the many break ups in relationships are showing us that we as humanity are lacking intimacy.
I am now developing intimacy with friends, where there is no sex or sexual energy involved, and this is a new experience for me, but way more profound and meaningful than any sexual encounter I have had in the past.
http://www.esotericwomenshealth.com/sacred-movement.html explains more about Sacred Movement.
This is a subject I have avoided for some time, always creating a sense of unease in me when it came up but for some reason I felt to read this blog today. After reading I sat and questioned, why the unease? I have avoided feeling the fact that I accepted those situations and relationships and by avoiding that fact I loose sight of the fact that I am not in those situations now. I have amazing examples around me of true relationships – both with self and towards another. Thank you Rosie.
Thanks Rosie for sharing how you now honour, respect and cherish yourself. Awesome.
One of the things I was taught as a child was “Do not hurt anyones feelings”. This, coupled with ‘wanting to be loved’ was a poor preparation in my life when partners pressured me for sex. Since being inspired by Universal Medicine workshops and the amazing Relationship presentations by Serge Benhayon I have discovered for myself a different way to love and be with men………love myself first. Thanks for your open and honest article Rosie.
Thank you, a very honest and open account of your experience of ‘sex’ and your growing relationship with your body. In the past I did not always feel connected to my own body and treated it with a lack of respect. I also searched for love through physical attention from men. It was not the answer for me, learning to trust myself has brought around significant changes for the better and I have gained self respect and a deep care for my body and what I choose to do with it. Also… I am in a relationship with my husband of 8 years.The self respect and care for my body that I have committed to, has really supported our relationship and it has meant there are less and less underlying agendas in our relationship and interactions. I feel closer and more intimate with him in every way.
Thank you Rosie. I was very much the same. In fact – I hated having sex, but I used to give my body to men wanting to get the sex over and done with, because all I really wanted was to be held. But of course, the sex didn’t come with respect, love or truth so I would never be held afterwards, no matter how long I was ‘seeing’ a guy for. I thought I’d never fall in love, so sex was the best I’d get. How wrong I was. Since Universal Medicine, I have come to learn what true love actually is and that it starts with me. And now making love is not just the physical act, but how I am with myself and my partner all the time. And now, like you, I see that it will never be possible to have just sex again, because of the respect and love I have for me and others.
Thanks for sharing Hannah. Love how you write, I didn’t want the sex, you just wanted to be held.
Dear Rosie, I can relate to your story as this is what I have done for a long time. I would have sex first and eventually see if we could have a long term relationship after which never worked because sex would affect the way we were making decisions rather than making self loving choices. It never gave me a true foundation in a relationship, and always left me with an unreal feeling of thinking I wanted more but I now know I was really after a deepening connection. It is also interesting how we can substitute sex with food…
The title says it all ‘Searching for Love and Settling for Sex’. I used to do that the whole time and then kid myself that it was love, or be in the relationship waiting for it to change to love. I now know that the Love starts from within and you dont have to search for it.
Thank you Rosie. I found it a stunning revelation when I heard Serge Benhayon present the difference between making love and having sex. It was so simple to me and the difference is palpable. My husband and my relationship in our marriage continues to deepen with our love making.
Thank you Rosie for openly sharing your journey back to your true self. In the past, I would never have known what it is to truly make love to another. Sex for me then, was always about self. I have been inspired by Universal Medicine to deepen my awareness about the difference between sex and making love, and I now understand that making love is a union between two people that become one…and to experience this is more than amazing.
Courageous words from a woman who now clearly feels and understands her true worth. This is such an important issue that affects both men and women everywhere. As a man I can say that as much as we try to hide or deny it, we too really feel the emptiness of having sex also and are also terrified of rejection especially in the bedroom. Thanks so much for starting off this conversation that all men and women need to have.
Andrew, thanks for being the courageous man here and sharing with such honesty and deepening and brining men into the conversation. I can feel that it must be true for men also, but I can only speak from my own experience.
I have a feeling that there are many beds out there with 2 people lying next teach other feeling empty and rejected when what they both want is to express love and feel love back but settle for much less, further feeding the emptiness and rejection. Perhaps if we start with nominating this to ourselves and each other, love will begin to rebuild within ourselves opening the door to let each other in again.
Yes Elizabeth, it is with starting with ourselves, and expressing with those around us that we can make changes.
To all men coming back to the love they are: I want to say that I feel such warmth of healing in my chest every time I read these deeply sensitive and understanding comments from men! Thank you Mike, Kevin, Phil, Tim, Jonathan and all the others for being the gentle loving men you are. I missed our true men – men freed to be in their true loving beauty! With deep appreciation to Serge for his loving inspiration to all.
I agree Jo, it does feel really lovely to have the men commenting here in such a sweet sensitive way.
What a beautiful comment Jo.
Thank you Rosie, This should be in every magazine everywhere along side all the lies that entice us all (men and women) settle for abuse instead of love. From my early teens I knew/felt the difference between making love and sex and was determined to NEVER fall for sex…but, until I found Universal Medicine, I settled for sex every single time (!!!) out of a desperate need to be ‘wanted’. I am now feeling just how harmful even the “sweet intimate” sex was… and now, because I’m loving myself, I have found a loving partner and everything is so different. I could NEVER give myself away again.
How beautiful Rosie that you honestly say that you have not yet experienced that other way, but that you know it is there. That IS amazing. When we are unaware that there is another way, we will keep going back to the old way out of fear that there is nothing else. You sharing has helped me (and others) know that we don’t have to settle for less than Love. Thank you!
Rosie, I always thought sex was the B’s and E’s in life, and gave one great satisfaction. No way at all. Being in a truly loving relationship is the greatest thing. Wanting to be with someone is the greatest feeling one can have. I have been in a wonderful relationship for the past 30 years with my wife, and would not change it for anything. Universal Medicine has taught me so much about having a Loving Relationship.
Thanks for sharing Mike. I love hearing about the real life stories from real people. Its like evidence in true form.
Your journey is so familiar Rosie, especially the part about not wanting to hurt someone else’s feelings, which of course, hurts us so much more if we go ahead and don’t express the truth we really feel, which is to say “N0.” One of the gifts of growing old is that my body just couldn’t agree! The usual affects of ageing made everything very difficult, so I was forced to stop. But then I came across Universal Medicine and started to understand this “other way.” With a new partner we have been able to explore a gentle, tender, mutual way of making love. I have found that my experience of libido has changed, as for a while I was so exhausted I had none, but now it seems it comes from a new, deeper place in me and feels very different and infinitely deeper and more loving. But most of all I have learned that opening up to the love within myself and responding to the love offered by my partner dispels previous beliefs around an ageing woman’s body. A little miracle!
Thank you Joan for sharing so honestly… I think you may be onto something here that a lot of women your age may want to know about… perhaps one day you could write a blog about it!
Thank you Rosie for sharing. When you said ” I can be the one who loves me and cares for me tenderly” I used to think that love was something someone gave to me. I was always seeking outside of myself. I do know differently now and what a difference that has made with my relationship with my husband of 38 years. Thank you for your sharing too Joan, it touches on so many issues that are never openly discussed. Till now.
Amazing to think that we could be in a relationship for 20 plus years and still be settling for someone giving us love, when that in itself is not it. It’s like we are right there, but we can’t see our own potential. And once we realise that we are the ones to bring the love first and foremost to ourselves, that then increases the love between the intimate one relationship and all relationships.
This is so beautiful Joan – thank you for sharing.
Thank you Rosie for this very honest blog. The journey you have been through, from self-abuse to self-love is truly inspiring. And as you point out, you can be the one who loves and cares for you because none of this is outside of you.
Nice one Rosie you’ve traveled such a long way in such a short time. What a truly great thing to love yourself first then whatever follows will also be truly great too. Thanks for sharing this very inspiring piece.
Thank you for your honesty Rosie and sharing your journey towards self love, learning to cherish yourself and not being willing to settle for anything less than Love. This blog deserves to be widely read to show that there is a choice and “that I can be the One who loves me and cares for me tenderly”. Inspiring.
Thank you for this article Rosie. It has been so healing and confirming to have understood the difference between sex and making love. For many years whenever I would have sex I would want to cry afterwards, and in fact a few times I did burst out crying halfway through, to the horror of my partner at the time. I could never explain why because mostly the person I was having sex with was ticking all the boxes by being considerate, attentive and caring. I was convinced there was something wrong with me and I hoped I would get over it. But I never did. Years later when I came across Universal Medicine and I started to understand the significance of self love and self honouring, the difference between sex and making love started to become obvious. And now that I am clear about the difference, there is no way I would allow disregard at this level and have sex ever again. If it is not possible to make love, then what is on offer is not what I choose.
Wow, thank you for sharing Golnaz
Golnaz.. thanks for bringing this conversation to another level. I appreciate your honesty. I so get the crying and not understanding… but some where deep inside knowing that something was just not right.
Thank you Golnaz – your comment stopped me in my tracks. I too found myself crying in the bedroom much to the horror of whoever I was with. A few years ago I noticed that I would eat loads of sugar. coffee, dairy, gluten and chocolate after having sex in a relationship even though I never normally ate these foods. Sex left me feeling so empty and devastated even though at the time I felt it was something I wanted. I know with every cell of my body that making love is very different to having sex even though I have not ‘made love’ in the intimate sense this lifetime. I can feel I have always known that it is possible to make love yet I have settled for sex as I have given up on love and have not appreciated my own loveliness. It is wonderful to reconnect to the truth that there is a way to connect with a partner physically in a loving and true way. My heart feels more open just connecting to this.
Love what you have expressed here Golnaz – so raw and honest. You speak on behalf of many women here…thank you 🙂
Really lovely blog, so claiming and committed to self. You are very much now the role model here.
Thanks Phil, I had not considered that but in fact it is true!
It is a rare thing to read such honesty as this. It is because of that deep love-filled place that Rosie has reached within herself, that the true honesty of her writing has the power to be life-transforming for many. How very very powerful that combination of true honesty and lived love are; writing with this combination needs to be widely shared and read.
I agree with everything you have written Catherine. Rosie’s honesty has touched me deeply, and I know that her story has the power and the love to touch others and to change lives.
We can all change lives and inspire each other when we don’t hold back what is there to be expressed, when we don’t fear being judged and when we let ourselves be seen for all the glory and the imperfections.
Hi Catherine, thanks for writing this. I am still loving writing and sharing honestly and I get a healing each time I work through something and share it. I so appreciate all the feedback and comments as it confirms that my writing is not just for me and that it is just the first part that many others then add to and we all grow and learn together. There is so much more space and healing when we get super honest and transparent and share openly.
Rosie, another beautifully honest and profound blog – thank you. I love how you started the paragraph – “Now that I love me…” as if it is now the most natural thing in the world, and I just wanted to celebrate you and those words in particular. The world is a different place when we love ourselves.
Thanks Janet, It was not natural to me in the beginning, it was in fact so weird and foreign… but nothing like a bit of practice! When we each choose to love ourselves first, we make such a difference, and our ripple of self love goes out and effects everyone we come in contact with.
Learning that I could give it all to myself and did not need an outer agent to love me was something I could not quite believe at the start, so like you Rosie, self-love did feel weird and foreign in the beginning. But what a beautiful journey to nowhere but me, it is turning out to be. And that ripples out to everyone.
Yes I really loved that line too. It was so simply stated and so lovely to read.
Thank you Rosie, your article is amazing and offers a blessing for so many people. Thank you for your honesty and your touching description of how you now cherish yourself – you go girl!
Thank you Rosie for your honest sharing. To hold yourself in the regard and respect of the woman you are is truly inspiring. Far too many of us have given away our power searching for love and settling for sex. The fact that society is not clear on the difference between sex and making love shows as a humanity how far we have lost ourselves. What a celebration when we come back to the love we are and start honouring and treating ourselves with that respect, respect that we all truly deserve.
Beautifully expressed Samantha. Thank you.
So true Samantha!
Beautifully said Samantha, we didn’t learn the difference between having sex and making love. And the first step to being love and be able to make love is taking care of ourselves and cherish our bodies. The rest will follow.
Well said. It is great to hear you honor that knowingness you always had. There was another way that felt true to you and that honored all of who you are and it’s great to hear that you will not settle for anything less. Gorgeous.
Hi Rosie, yes it is beautiful when we come to this awareness and there is a level of respect for our bodies that we won’t go below.
I may not have had the respect for myself back then, and I did not have any role models to show me there was another way, but today it feels great to love and respect myself enough to not settle for less than love. Today we have many amazing ‘true’ role models, like Natalie Benhayon, and other women who have chosen to live the way of the livingness and for this I am so grateful.
Thank you Rosie for such a candid and very personal article. I too am extremely grateful for and inspired by the teachings of Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicine practitioners. It’s a common approach many of us have, to simply give our bodies over to having sex in order to gain “love” and attention and like you say, it hasn’t even been that good! Since attending the Universal Medicine workshops and having esoteric healing sessions, my own self love has developed and deepened, as has my relationship with my husband as he too has chosen to build a loving relationship with himself. The building of a loving relationship between us is far more rewarding, tender and respectful than anything either of us have experienced before. I can never again imagine just having sex to gain attention, as nothing can compare to what I now know to be True Love.
That’s beautiful Rowena. It’s great how when you each choose to work on yourselves first and foremost how the relationship can then blossom.
Beautifully expressed Rowena and Rosie. And it shows how truly loving and honouring another starts with truly loving and honouring our self.
Yes, beautifully expressed, dear wife. Our love for ourselves and for each other has deepened growing tenderness each day. What is also so beautiful is that we have learnt, through the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, is that this love is not exclusively for us but that love has no boundaries and is inclusive to share with everyone.
What you share here Jonathan is beautiful. That your love is not exclusive and has no boundaries and is inclusive to share with everyone feels great as it unites us all, and does not make you as a couple in you own little bubble, and I guess the more love you open up to in your relationship, then the more love you will have to share with others. How awesome is that!
Jonathon, I love what you say here. It reminds me of a moment when my husband and I were kissing in the car and as he opened the door to get out we saw a man smiling at us. The man had felt the love and it had ignited the love in him. By feeling our love within we reflect that to others – what a joyful sharing – and indeed a responsibility to not let in what is not love.
Yes, it is beautiful when our love is shared with everyone and we all get to feel it.
Beautiful Jonathan, how you and Rowena share your love with all those around you. We had this belief that we give special love and attention to one special person in our life. I am also learning that this is not true. We can share our love with everybody.
Making Love is for everyone, embracing together a Love that is universal and deeply cherishing. Sex on the other hand is not love but only to satisfy a need we have in ourselves for love. The difference is like chalk and cheese.
Who hasn’t used sex to gain love? It is a horrible part of life that so many of us take on as a way of living – using anything we can get gratuitous pleasure from and saying,” I love it”. It is a loveless re-interpretation of love that has no beauty or preciousness in it, just banal sensory stimulation. Yet deep inside I have always known there is another way to live honouring the love that I am deep inside and it can be a choice to feel and connect with others from the same source. Having been reminded of this very simply in Universal Medicine healing sessions and workshops, it is great to be able to say that it is a truly amazing way to live, permeating into all facets of life when I allow it.
Yes we are worth it!… And there is no one who can tell us we are really worth it, we need to accept it ourselves!
This is so true – we really are worth choosing love for. Settling for attention over love is so disempowering and dishonouring to us as women, or even as people, yet the majority of us do it. It’s amazing to read that you have changed this pattern and re-ignited the deep love in yourself.
Awesome Meg- “Settling for attention over love is so disempowering”, so true and not just exclusive to sex, but in many aspects of life
This is a great point Jessica, settling for attention over love is so disempowering and it is definitely not exclusive to sex. Reading this makes me aware of how many other areas of my life I still in some ways settle for less than love.
” I would do so much to not be rejected”. This resonates with me Rosie. In all areas of life we compromise ourselves just so we can belong and be accepted but at what terrible cost.
I agree Meg. It just shows how desperately we all want to love and be loved – so much so that we do settle for attention at times (which is painful in comparison the real love we know we deserve); rather than choosing to deeply love ourselves first and foremost.
It is very eye opening to see how desperate we get for this love if we don’t know that this love is within us. I too share deep appreciation for all that Natalie Benhayon and Serge Benhayon have presented on this over the years. My love for myself has blossomed as a result and I will not settle for anything less in my relationships.
I love what you have confirmed once again Meg how often as women we settle for attention and “think”this is love. The difference is felt when the quality of love we build in ourselves is honoured, making no room for others to fill in any gaps.
I have found, from experience that the more love I have built and accepted for myself, the more love I have been able to accept from others. In the past, because there was so little love of self, there was no way I could even contemplate allowing that from another so I just settled for less.
Yes, it is amazing how simple this is – if we don’t love ourselves we don’t know how to accept love when it comes to us and we don’t know how to love others. It is really strange that it needed somebody like Serge Benhayon to point this out in a way that it could be understood.
Yes, so simple… seems like we should be learning this at kindergarten… not as grown up adults… but I guess its never to late… we can always learn more.
So true Rosie. That call needs to come from us otherwise we return to the merry go round of relationships where we choose to not feel the true potential of what a loving relationship can be like.
We often end up in a merry go round, because we are not taking responsibility, so the opportunity comes around and around and around again until we become aware and make the change.
Rosie thanks for your blog, it is an amazing experience with oneself when we start to love ourselves and not to settle for anything less from ourselves and from others. We are worth it.
Well said Rosie and amazing that you are now loving you for being you!
Wow – a very beautiful reflection on love vs sex. I can relate a lot to this, and that before seeing what true love is, as I do now – I had no idea of how healing love can be, and how harming lack of it can be.
Hannah, I agree I did not know how healing love can be and harming lack of it can be, but having experienced it with the true understanding, I choose love any day.
I completely agree Hanna. It has been a huge eye-opener to appreciate how harming all my previous expressions of love had been. To acknowledge how I had deluded myself in believing I was being loving and helping another when in fact I was being the opposite, however good my intentions may have been, has been very humbling.
Very true… so much for us all to learn.
Nor did I either Hannah before being introduced to Universal Medicine’s teachings. I used to think that there was a fence we could sit on that makes something neither harming or healing, but such a thought is pure comfort and illusion because EVERYTHING we do and say harms or heals. There is no in between.
I have learnt this too Joshua, no in between it is one or the other. Harm or Heal.
Yes Rosie Bason I couldn’t agree more as the fence sitting buries the harm and hurts even deeper as we make this the norm.
Yes love and being open to the reflections on offer from another can be so so healing, especially if we are open to feeling the hurts and areas where we have shut down in the past so as to ensure that they do not get in the way of the next relationship and opportunity to deepen the love.
Thanks Rosie for expressing this so beautifully. I so know what you are talking about as I too have been down this path in my past. I feel very grateful to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon who reflected to me another way of being, which allowed me to come out of this pattern and meet a man with whom I could build a truly loving and caring relationship without having to make it about sex, but having love as our foundation.
This is such a tabu topic, but I am very thankful Rosie that you have brought it up in your light and natural way. It is very easy to open up and speaking about it in this way you have started. I have not experienced making love with a partner yet, but I know that it starts first to be in a loving relationship with myself. I know that I will not accept anything less than making love.
Yes as you say Marika and first being in a loving relationship with yourself first to be able to be in a loving relationship with another.
Same for me Monica.. I have yet to experience making love in an intimate way however what I am beginning to understand is that making love is not just about the physical act, but rather that it can become the daily way we are with ourselves and others… and in this sense it does not have to be necessarily tied into the act of intercourse at all, although of course when appropriate, this physical intimacy can be shared as a different expression of the love that is made throughout the day.
I get what you mean Angela, I was cooking with a friend the other day, and we were both preparing food in the most loving way and the way we were moving and being with each other was an act of making love. Making love does not have to happen in the bedroom or without clothes!
Beautifully said Angela – we can make love all day, every day with everyone and there is nothing remotely sexual about it.
… This is great Rosie, and so honest. How can we look for love outside ourselves when we don’t love ourselves first? It sounds crazy now, but looking for love everywhere else but inside of me was certainly what I was doing before I came across Universal Medicine and the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom.
Oh me too Gabrielle. I was so outsourcing love and mistaking sex for love. Great blog Rosie – honest and real. Qualities I really appreciate about you. And i am grateful for Universal Medicine for showing me there is another way – a true way – to bring love and tenderness to yourself.
Yes Gabriele so well said. I was the exact same, looking for love outside, not wanting to look inside basically. What I have felt in myself when I met Universal Medicine is HUGE, that I know there is not a love outside of me that is going to save me, but actually a love inside me that allready saved me all along. Thank you Rosie Bason.
I have come to realise that it’s only possible to recognise the love that’s all around us by first recognising the love that’s within us.
I can totally relate Rosie… thank you for your honesty… and for cherishing you!
Thank you Rosie, honesty like yours brings a tear to my eye – noticeably when I got to the part about cherishing yourself – so deeply beautiful.