I cherish the opportunity Christmas brings for me to build relationships and meet more people.
The month of December can be a great month. The gradual incline towards the festive season is one that brings a great deal of excitement to many, the approaching holiday, maybe a trip away, a few big parties and sometimes lots of drinking. I’ve noticed people who usually don’t say anything or only give a passing glance, say “hello”. I’ve also noticed people who quite often just give me a nod when passing in the corridor but surprise me with a question like “what have you got planned for Christmas?” Come January, I see we often retreat and withdraw back into the ‘grind full existence’ – so what has happened?
For those interactions where we exchanged an extra smile, nod or extended ourselves to make a passing comment or brief exchange before the break, I now have a point or marker that I feel allows me to continue with the relationship.
For me it’s wonderful to hold that point when the post holiday emotional retreat comes, and the so-called mundaneness of life kicks back in. So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile. It is a pre-Christmas effort toward me returning. I can continue from where the relationship reached and for that I’m very grateful.
I was once waiting for the high of Christmas and wanting to escape and splurge on anything that took me further away from myself. The development of my Livingness by re-connecting to myself and thereby allowing deeper connections with others that I have found through Universal Medicine has provided me with the tools to tackle life with joy and a fulfilment that is overflowing.
So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.
By Matthew Brown, Subiaco, Perth, Western Australia
The interaction we have with people open the door to being open and transparent in the most Loving ways and when these relationships deepen it is one of the most fulfilling experiences we can have.
From what I’ve seen this year for many it’s a much anticipated break from other parts of life that are going 100mph. Only to go into the festive period at the same speed! It’s not what we do that drains us it’s how we do it.
Yep its a con! Christmas stands for a lot of things that really aren’t about love.
Every day can be a festive day one of celebration and luxuriant joy-full-ness as we are simply pleasured to connect with everyone with whom we pass or interact with, now that should be a standard or foundation for life.
The focus on holidays, festive periods and long weekends is completely arbitrary. It’s a particular period on the calendar that we focus on as being special and as a consequence often overlook all of the other days of the year, apart from the weekends. This eyes on the horizon approach to life means that we skim over so much and completely miss out on the potential depth of each and every day.
The gift within the gift is to stay open in every encounter, allowing its expansion beyond Christmas.
Christmas is an opportunity for people to be together and the most loving present we can offer each other is to just be who we are in true Brotherhood.
I love this; ‘I cherish the opportunity Christmas brings for me to build relationships and meet more people.’ It’s beautiful to deepen relationships at this time. This year I really enjoyed seeing my family and friends and found that I had let go of expectations about Christmas being a certain way and simply enjoyed connecting with people.
I have noticed that on the 25th December when going out for a walk people are much more open with each other. I went for a walk with some relatives and almost everyone we met on our way smiled and wished us a happy Christmas. There was a real sparkle and warmth to their greetings and I felt very touched. So often when walking, people are in protection and whilst talking there seems to be a holding back which makes the hello forced.
I have found over the years that the more open I am the more others open up with me, regardless of the time of year. Yet when I speak to others they don’t have that same relationship with other people that I have. I’m like a walking Christmas vibe. It’s the connection to my essence that allows people to open up more. When we don’t have that connection we retreat.
Mathew, I love this; ‘ I now have a point or marker that I feel allows me to continue with the relationship.’ I have noticed this in my community this week, that people have been around more and that by me delivering by hand Christmas cards that this has opened up a lovey connection with people. I have had neighbours round for tea and it has been lovely to enjoy this time when things have slowed down to connect with and enjoy those in my community.
I love this part of Christmas as well but isn’t it weird (or maybe sad) that one day in the year or leading up to it we suddenly want to make it about people when we could make it about people and connection every single day all throughout the year ✨
I went shopping for presents today and it was so obvious that just about everyone else was doing the same…..there was a much more intimate feeling in the big department store and yet an openness too as people discussed whether so and so would like such and such…we were coming together for the benefit of others. I did not feel the usual rush and stress that can come with last minute shopping. I chatted to lots of people and everyone was very patient and very friendly. Yes there is something about Christmas and it’s great to be part of it.
Despite the negativity around the increasing commercialisation of Christmas it does offer the opportunity to connect with each other and that is a gift to be cherished.
By connecting more deeply with ourselves allows us to deepen our connection with others, ‘ re-connecting to myself and thereby allowing deeper connections with others’.
This is lovely Matthew, as I find most people love being connected to, using Christmas as an opportunity to build relationships with more people, ‘the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.’
Matthew, this is beautiful; ‘So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.’ I love how you make Christmas about people and relationships.
Maybe the very fact we have fallen for the idea that ‘one’ day of the year is ‘special’ is the very reason we are not loving all of the time how we should naturally be, Making one day special makes a mockery of the rest.
I agree with you that there is the potential for something amazing when it comes to Christmas, because everyone stops for a few days and so has more time to connect with people – I also totally agree this does not need to be reserved for Christmas and that potential is there everyday.
Oh no, its only just gone August and I saw in our main supermarket chain yesterday Christmas cards for sale – I had to double take, really for the purposes of retail and sales Christmas is one big gimmick.
I went to a business event at a bank yesterday (it is July) and they themed it as Christmas complete with a Santa MC so no need to wait until December for a ho ho ho – available every day.
I originally come from the UK and have lived in Australia for 25 years now but I still have it programmed in me that Christmas is in winter and not summer – so it seemed more normal to hold Christmas in July (winter in Australia) than in December (sunny summer)!
I remember being quite flabbergasted when walking one Christmas Day morning and a man invited me to pick as many frangipani flowers I liked from his front yard; he struck me as a miserly man, barely willing to engage and communicate and even though I accepted his offer and picked a few more, it made me wonder why we might think we need to reserve our true nature for a particular time of year. Do we use Christmas as an excuse to show more of what we truly are? Lest we’d be told of for our truth and on account of our truer nature, per chance?
The ups and downs of life are a normalised part of human life which we feel innately is not true to our body or our essence. The answer to living a truly consistent life comes from living the essence.
It is like we have accepted that life is very intense and a struggle and so we live in a way of ‘battling’ with this instead of going about life a different way, surrendering to something deeper within and recognising that there is a consistent joy that can be lived each day.
Matthew, this is very gorgeous; ‘So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.’ I love how you embrace the Christmas period and make it about people and connections, very inspiring.
Opening up instead of re-treating back into our shells should be the way that all relationships develop. This is because of the way we express to each other with love brings in a deepening of our evolution.
When every day becomes the same day then the joy of living with our divine connection brings us closer to those we interact with.
This is so gorgeous Matthew. It is inspiring to feel you honouring the connections made along with honouring the value of the connection itself. This is precisely how we restore trust in our relationships throughout humanity, through being open to sharing ourselves and building loving connections.
I like this part about connecting with other people during the Christmas festive season. It reminds me of the common experience of human life that we all share.
I agree with you Matthew. I have found people are more open to connect, and certainly a time for giving and sharing some moments together. I am with you also that the consistency of Joy I now live through The Way of The Livingness is all year round.
Agreed Rik, The Livingness brings the same day every day no matter what the day so each day is a celebration of true connection.
And if we then don’t reserve this greater openness just for Christmas but are open and welcoming towards others and nurture these relationships, however fleeting the encounters may be, our day to day life would be much richer and more fulfilling.
I agree, people are often a bit more open during this period and are more willing to stop, open up and have conversations. I love the opportunity that this offers as it is a time of coming together and deeply appreciating each other.
I love the stillness very early on Christmas morning when the chaos and buzz have come to a halt and the human world takes the time to breathe in and be in repose, even if fleetingly.
I have been stoned walled by a colleague of mine for years I am always the one to initiate the conversation, I took everyone at the home office some Scottish Shortbread as Christmas presents to say thank you for all your help during the year. One of the members of staff came and told me how much they enjoyed the Shortbread biscuits they said they had not had anything like them before. And the other member of staff who always stone walled me piped up and said she thought they were lovely too. I take this as a break through even if she didn’t talk to me directly she was gracious enough to say how much she enjoyed the treat.
Great how you use the opportunity of other people being more open at this time of year to build on the relationships subsequently – a truly positive aspect of the gift of Christmas.
This is true, ‘the opportunity of other people being more open at this time of year’ and is something to appreciate that we have this opportunity and that we embrace it, a true Christmas gift.
The gift of connection – a gift that keeps on giving.
Xmas has never been a time of year that I enjoyed whilst in the UK, I worked on the main streets of london and the commercialisation was horrific to say the least. But now I love having friends and family over for a meal when you know so many are doing the same thing, in it together sort of thing. We don’t actually need this to bring us together but until we are living with a lot more harmony this will be our reminder of what is possible when we open up and let ‘strangers’ in.
What a great conversation Matthew, I hadn’t considered Christmas as a benchmark for a new normal but you are right, in terms of the potential for relationships everyone is far more open. Perhaps the low of January is that that goes away and seems to get put back in the cupboard for another 11 months.
Christmas is here again and there is definitely more footfall in the shop that I work in and the takings reflect the rise in customers coming to buy goods. People are not buying mainly for themselves but are thinking of friends and family and some are making gift boxes to send abroad for those who are “less fortunate”. There is an atmosphere of supporting each other to get whatever is needed to make this time the best it can be. As you say there is a potential here to build on this way of being and not fall back after Christmas to old patterns of isolation and disconnectedness. It is also an opportunity to see where we were at this time last year and appreciate how we might have changed becoming less judgemental and more open and willing to connect with others in absolute equality.
I enjoy the Christmas season too, because I find it is a time when people slow down a bit, and there is more opportunity to connect more deeply. I enjoy the conversations, work lunches and chances for people to come together more.
If it’s possible for that extra smile or conversation before Christmas then it shows we can do it. So why wait or withhold that openness for the seasonal period? From experience it’s exhausting holding back our pull towards each other.
Great to come across this blog now as Christmas cards and decorations are coming into the shops and many are complaining that it is so commercial. I feel inspired to share myself more openly when these conversations start to come up and allow for a deepening of relationships also.
I have worked many a Christmas and I have loved it, in the health and social care industry with such shortage of staff already, come Christmas some places find it really hard to find staff to work over the festive period.
That we think we drop back into the mundaneness of life after Christmas illustrates that we do not consider the potential of every day to be equally awesome.
What a gorgeous way to appreciate this time of the year Matthew. I love Christmas because this seems to be the most common time of the year when we make the effort to get together and connect. It makes me wonder why we don’t make the same effort every day of the year?
Yes, people are more open and vulnerable during that time.
This highlights the fact that there are no ‘special’ days to wait for, so we then can begin to connect with another openly, and share ourselves with honesty and love. It is interesting how we reduce ourselves to only being this way for one day only that is approaching, when there are 365 days in the year that this can happen. Imagine if this was how we chose to be every day, the quality of relationships that would develop, and the gorgeous connections that would enrich our lives. When we are open to it, there is so much we can share and learn from each other, and at the end of the day it is how we truly grow and evolve as a humanity.
Thanks Matt, and whenever we take the opportunity to build a relationship with someone new, it really is like Christmas… It is a gift for everyone
That’s super cute – every new relationship or moment where we meet someone is like Christmas, or actually it could be even better than Christmas – a bit like a gift that never stops giving.
It is a gift for everyone Chris. I love how you have highlighted this. We all receive an incredible gift everytime we meet someone. Do we accept the gift – the potential of the relationship, even if it is for a fleeting moment, or do we push it away?
When you work in retail you quickly come to realise that not many people actually enjoy Christmas, it’s a massive strain on them both financially and emotionally. If we took it back to it simply being about our relationships with people then it would alleviate the pressure so many people place themselves under and it could actually be enjoyable!
Your observations are so very significant Matthew. Why, when it actually must feel great to be more open with each other at certain times – e.g. Christmas, or when events such storms and weather wreak havoc on our community… why do we not truly cherish how great it feels to let each other in more, connect, offer warmth, love and care?
The ‘retreat’ as you’ve termed it is actually very exposing – in the routine and ‘same old’ in which so very many live, and accept as ‘normal’. I also well recall the more ‘up’ moments around Christmas, the relief sought in having a break from the usual routine, the specialness of choosing something particular as a gift for those close… But my life has changed, and joyfully so…
The truth is, it is via our own choices that we may live a consistency of love, openness, care and warmth in our EVERY day (not just a few…) – and as you’ve shared, allow this consistency to be what meets others, what holds concern for how they are, and joy in the simplicity of even a brief moment of connection. Lord knows, the world needs such openness and connection from us all, and deeply so.
There’s something about Christmas that inspires us to be a bigger person, to look kindly on others, to appreciate our life and all we are given. Yet this all gets turned off like the Christmas lights when it’s all over. If those things are truly good, why do we limit ourselves to just a few days a year? Your words here Mathew remind me how I still tend to make Love an occasional way, instead of embracing it as my everyday. Now this constant way of being seems like a real present to me. What a cracker of a blog.
It is interesting that many people seem to need an excuse to be more open and to connect to each other.
Mary I agree it’s very interesting – could it be that this is actually, truthfully what people are looking for but they are afraid to really go for it?
It is also valuable that they do so when they feel safe(r) to do so.
Thank you Matthew for sharing your experience of Christmas and the opportunity it brings to you of sharing the openness with people at this time, I too have found this to be where people are more open, this sharing is the real joy of christmas.
We can easily get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the festive period, there is no escaping its all around us. It feels for some people Christmas is permission to open up to people, there is this stop moment to say hi to strangers – I had not see that perspective of Christmas, thanks Mathew
I love it – perhaps that is why we “wish it could be Christmas everyday” because everyone is more open and there is a sense of the brotherhood and collaboration that’s possible when we all work together and recognise that we are all in this together. From that perspective, it could easily be Christmas everyday.
Christmas has become so flat and two dimensional to me that it almost passed this year without me noticing it, one thing I do love though is the fact that suddenly people you don’t know are willing to talk to you, imagine if this openness passed into January and we started to discuss not just presents and Christmas dinner but important stuff too, and in that begun to truly support not just those closest to us, but anyone who needed it.
Everyday can be a joy when we live with the gift of ourselves. I used to buy into the mentality of work days being different to holidays and the outside world dictating how I feel. Now I know everyday can be in the same joy of being connected to myself, and whether at work or at home I can have the same quality of presence. What I have learned is it’s who we are and being in connection to ourselves that brings joy and meaning to life, not clocking on or off work.
Last year, in our family home we decided to not have a Christmas tree. This came about from a conversation around the dinner table where we realised that the way we live with eachother each day already felt like Christmas all year, and as much as a twinkling tree is lovely to have, we did not need it to tell us that we are a family, and we would rather have spent the money on something else. This was beautifully confirming of us as a family and also of how mature and wise children can be when given the opportunity to truly express themselves.
To live every day as if it is Christmas shows a deep level of appreciation of each other and the gift we have to be here this time around. Children live with this wonder and appreciation till the reflection is something very different and what inspires me about your comment is that you must be showing them a different reflection for them to have felt they could share that.
What I love about your comment is that children feel that right from the get-go, the appreciation of being here and the wonder of relationships, yet the reflection they are offered, more often than not, doesn’t match what they are born with. What I love about your comment is clearly you have offered your children the opportunity to share what they know to be true about every day, not just special days.
Yes Christmas is an extraordinary opportunity when one really understands about connection and the potential that we all have… Our community choirs were invited to at least six different events to sing carols….my usual cup of tea so to speak when it comes to music… But the joy that was there in the congregations and in the participants was an absolute delight to behold and very inspiring.
It is important to spot those moments when we really Connect with each other, because this creates the foundation upon which we all live.
I found recently that the month of December was more stressful and un-enjoyable than the feeling of starting the new year working and re-comitting to everything. There is something that every new year teaches us, that we live in cycles and there is in fact no end.
Having that initial openness with a person helps support that relationship to build further. This I am experiencing more and more as I open up to people. I may have met the person only once before but the warmth between us is tangible.
It’s so easy to slip back into our caves and withdraw from the connection we have felt with others – not just after Christmas but any time of year. But it only takes one of us to choose to build on this connection and relationships will start to blossom and deepen.
Amazing blog Matthew, I too have noticed that at Christmas time at work everyone seems to be more engaging and friendly, but when I reflected on the rest of the year there was a quite a lot of “daily grind’ and disconnection and separation – Christmas time can remind us that the truth is families are suppose to love each other, and this should be EVERY day!
I love this sharing Matthew and the wisdom of taking the connections made around a Christmas into the coming weeks, not letting them wane, but instead deepening them. It feels so key in today’s world where we tend to withdraw, especially if another withdraws first. To instead stay present with people, calling them out of their withdrawal, by just staying connected with them.
“I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.’
Its a great to build relationships as people seem to be more open and willing to share and listen. I find there is a feeling of a sense of joy within people and with that they want to share with others.
‘So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile’. Beautiful Matthew, our life is about relationships, to connect to people and to be open, to cherish and hold people in our love.
What a beautiful to way to finish your blog Matthew. “So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.”. As Christmas Day is only three weeks away you have inspired me to step out into every day with the same philosophy that you have shared; taking the opportunity, when people who might not normally connect with me at another time do so, and in that moment offer me the space to expand on the smile or the few words that they share. What a true gift for Christmas!
The true gift of Christmas – the opportunity to build relationships that last beyond the post Christmas let down…I have always loved connecting with people and I love your positive take on the letting down of the protective guard that people usually walk around with and feel this just demonstrates how much we all wish for connection, but that for so many they feel too hurt or lost to risk the possibility of rejection so stay trapped in their own little bubble most of the year. Here’s to dismantling barriers and spreading the love all the year round.
Very appropriate to re-read your blog about Christmas – as we are in December once again. “So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.”
I agree Christmas is a great opportunity to build relationships and continue them throughout the year, it’s like Christmas is just an icebreaker to get to know someone, and we are often surprised when we dig a little deeper into the relationship as to how much we have in common.
I love to hear that, Susan. And I feel because you’ve connected once, it is easier to do it again and again.
It’s a great point, Matthew. People have an excuse to say hello or to engage around a period like Christmas. Just as they do around any big calendar event. But these events when people are more open can be a platform or the beginnings of a relationship. When we can begin to get to know someone – and not just talk about the weather. I’d never really thought about it before, but great article – and good timing as we’re just over a month away from Christmas.
Like anytime we stop it’s a great time for us to reassess and choose again what we would like to see and feel coming back to us. That’s what Christmas or the Christmas break gives us, an opportunity to stop and breathe. I find the same things people seem to have more time and in that time they are usually on for a chat that may not be there at any other time during the year. I remember growing up as a child the Christmas break felt like a lifetime, the time away from school seemed like it went forever when now I can see it’s not that long. Anytime is a great time to connect with someone and say hello and if a time of year gives more of an opportunity for that then I appreciate that as well. It’s coming up to that time of year again and a time to stop and reassess what the year feels like as a whole, then simply bring that awareness into the next moment or year. It maybe the end of a year but it’s also the beginning of another.
“So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet”.
I totally agree Matthew, that there is nothing more important in this world than building relationships with others; the best present ever – and every one comes wrapped in its own unique and beautiful packaging.
What a turnaround, that Christmas is not about self, but about building relationships for the benefit of all.
Thanks Matthew, revisiting your blog I am reminded that xmas festivities can provide a new benchmark for a relationship to build from, no different to birthdays too amongst family members… we make such an effort for that one day, making someone feel special, and the rest of the year, do little to foster anything like this. There is definitely a different way to go about this that is far more fulfilling and supportive for all involved.
Beautiful Matthew. A present of Christmas presence that lasts all year
Joy and fulfilment are two pretty extraordinary tools to have in your tool belt to support you to face whatever life throws at you. There is no doubt that they come from developing a deep connection with ourselves and then with others.
It’s very true Matthew, it makes no sense when you look at it as you have, to put this enormous effort into our most significant relationships for one day, and then drop the bar on the quality of interactions for the rest of the year. It’s no different to birthday celebrations really… an opportunity to make one day special, or to make every day beyond that an ever deepening expression of that love.
Christmas can be such an overwhelming time when we make it all about the right gifts for family and loved ones and the pressures of putting on a food feast. Thank you Matthew Brown for sharing your experience that can make it so simple and obviously bring a much deeper level of understanding about the people in our lives and the quality connections we can make.
Thank you, Mathew on a topic we need to discuss and find the truth – life is all about relationships – true ones. So is Christ-mass a great reflection in the month December to feel and appreciate where you have come in regards to your relationships build and an opportunity to heal and deepen them too.. Incredible life would be if we looked at Christmass like that – not an event about food or ‘duty’. ..
As a child I could never understand why people were more open and friendly around the festive season, why couldn’t we be like this everyday of the year? To live life everyday with a natural joy and openness is a great way to start and to feel the flow on effect and inspiration this has on others around us.
I love what you are sharing here Mathew, I am one for striking up conversation in the bank line or shopping in the supermarket with complete strangers. I do this all year but I have also clocked is when it comes to ‘the season to be jolly’ others feel they can too, its like they are given permission.
Great point Sarah, it is as though on ‘special occasions’ we’re given permission to be more friendly, more loving, more appreciative, more joyful… imagine what would happen if we took ever day as a new benchmark for how we might build on it for the next. Something resembling brotherhood wouldn’t be too far way for starters.
‘So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile’. What an awesome opportunity you have chosen to create Matthew! A far wiser and more connected approach to Christmas than we often choose to take.
Thank you Mathew for showing us something different. Too often Christmas is seen as something to indulge and get lost in, emotions run high and almost everyone regrets what they have eaten and drunk the following day.
This is the same as going on vacation just to escape or going on vacation to connect deeper with those your with and also be open to meeting others along the way.
Yes, that ‘goodwill to all men’ feels great but is usually short-lived. So it serves merely as an annual reflection of how life could be all year round if everyone chose to value the connection that had been made during the festive period and made it a daily commitment to maintain it.
Yes, Gill and Matthew. It was the same at my workplace and in shops etc generally pre Christmas. It is a good marker for how open we are willing to be with other people who are outside our normal circle of family and friends. I know as time has gone by I have definitely been more open with others so it’s a good reminder reading this blog to keep building on the foundation I have established and to not let myself go into cruise mode and complacency in this area of my life.
‘For those interactions where we exchanged an extra smile, nod or extended ourselves to make a passing comment or brief exchange before the break, I now have a point or marker that I feel allows me to continue with the relationship.’ As we begin to build relationships with colleagues it gives us the opportunity to be more open with each other, every time we meet.
Thank you Matthew for making the moments leading up to Christmas and the exchanges shared a new marker for us all. I loved what you have captured here – the beautiful openness that can happen between people. I have felt this too – joy, openness and more willingness to engage. Love it.
Building true relationships in our community is essential for our own revolution
Thank you Mathew, for a different way of feeling into Xmas. That connections are made when people open up to the joy during Xmas and that these can be built further and on going into the new year.
I am the same Matthew. The family for me is aspect of Christmas I now cherish most. It is not just the opportunity to connect with others not seen for a while but also the opportunity to make closer connections with the wider family and community.
It’s an interesting but I feel a very true observation you share Matthew, that people are more friendly, open and willing to connect with others at Christmas time. It begs the question of why is this so. Why are we more friendly with each other in December than in any other time of the year? If we are honest we could say this does not make sense as any day of the year gives us the same opportunity to spread our own presence and gift of connection with others equally.
This is so beautiful and inspiring, to take it as a marker of the relationship, and don’t dip with them again after the festive days. It is a gift for all to cherish those relationships.
Absolutely Katie, appreciating and honouring each other with the gift of ourselves everyday, instead of a gift out of duty.
We had our Christmas celebration at work yesterday, and what was beautiful is that it was a culmination of the relationships we have built throughout the year. What’s interesting is that it is more acceptable to openly show appreciation for each other with gifts and warm embraces than it is other times of the year. I will be definitely continuing and deepening this more after Christmas, and not just leaving it for a certain time of the year.
We can sometimes have the initial connection with others at Christmas or when something else brings us together like an issue or event and this marker provides us with a starting point to build on the relationship. But really so too can a smile or a ‘breaking the silence’ moment if we dare to let go of the guard and rejoin our natural flow to connect with the world.
There is indeed the possibility of celebration every day… When we look into a strangers eyes and see such light and warmth being reflected back, surely this is a cause for understanding that we are one humanity and indeed a cause for celebration.
I totally agree Chris. Eye connection is indeed cause for celebration 🙂 🙂
I love how you talk about building on the connections people generally seem more open to at Christmas. Something to expand in rather than being hurt by the fact the door was only opened albeit briefly and then closed again.
Reading this again as it comes up to that season once again I can’t help but take notice that underneath all the glamor that Christmas has been turned into there is this want to connect to people and family more than any other time of the year. Rather than trying to stress out and make the event perfect on the outside what about making it real from the inside – between the people rather than making it all about the outer trimmings and objects. A month to really take stock and appreciate those around us feels much lighter than the focus on what to get and what we might receive. Thank you Matthew.
A timely reminder as Christmas is not far away
Thank you Matthew for a very refreshing way of looking at Xmas, how beautiful to connect to the deeper openness people are feeling at this time.
I really understand the redirection and focus of christmas to be different. Building relationships feel to me such a more delightful way to enter into christmas, it can be all about very superficial things now, ideals and beliefs around what family should be and how we should act with each other, the gifts people give, instead of the quality of the relationships we hold.
Another opportunity to re- imprint christmas in a different way. I don’t think the traditional christmas will change any time soon but there is an opportunity for us to build on those connections throughout the year rather than making a connection to someone an annual event! Food for thought Mathew.
So true Matthew. I also relish the opportunities it opens – also the opportunities that are opened with national events like an Olympics. It is great to further the relationship development with sharing our observations around this – and expressing a desire to keep the relationships open and continuing.
As so many others have commented I have always been perplexed by why, as western society, we become to so open to others at Christmas but do not clock this and question why the remainder of our year should not be the same. I feel that it is for most that they identify with having a good time at Christmas with, presents, eating lots, drinking, parties and endless films on the TV so the real magic of the possibility for relating to others is lost or masked.
Matthew, this is such a lovely way to celebrate Christmas. In our family, we make Christmas a celebration of family, but what you share makes it a celebration of relationships – with everyone – I love it!
let it be Christmas every day – choosing to celebrate our relationship with ourselves and others on a daily basis. There would be no build up or expectation.
Personally I’m not a fan of Christmas myself that seems founded on excessive stress around shopping for presents and food, potentially emotional heightened family get togethers and excessive drinking and drug taking… however I do love that within all of that chaos, you have found beauty and joy within the simplicity of a smile or hello… and a reason to build a relationship with someone, sharing the joy that you now feel since reconnecting to yourself.
Very inspiring to feel how you keep the relationship at the level it has come to before Christmas, a lovely way to connect to everyone around to who they truly are through what they shared of themselves before.
Understanding that building relationships within our community is an essential foundation for our own expanding connection with our inner awareness… It is not just being good or nice, it is a mutually expanding awareness of humanity that is essential for our own development.
Great sharing Matthew and one that I feel that so many of us can relate too. let all those joyful connections to others over Christmas be a daily occurrence in our lives. Instead of the sway of highs and lows during set periods of holidays, weddings, birthdays etc. For myself it would be the great build up then a ‘drop’ feeling – ‘that’s it’ till the next time. To live our everyday forming and developing new relationships and connecting in a way that is much closer to the natural flow of who we truly are.
Matthew thank you for expressing your new connections over Christmas. I have found at work more people mingling together, and lots more joyfulness around, although this is often short lived once Christmas is over, so an inspiring message to continue those relationships to a deeper level.
“So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile.” This is a very insightful blog Matt. Christmas certainly does provide an opening for deeper connections with people that can then be built upon throughout the year, a never-ending gift.
Christmas can often be a very lonely time for those who have lost connection to family and it is an opportunity to open our hearts to welcome all into the loving family of brotherhood and maintain the connection for every day of the year. A true gift to offer each other.
Awesome Matthew, Christmas is an icebreaker for sure. I also notice since living more of the Livingness as inspired by Universal Medicine, there are less ups and downs. My life generally gets more joyful every day, not just around Christmas or my birthday for instance. I can see that it is a choice to live in a way that I can enjoy every day of my life, and that we so deserve living joyfully every day instead of making it a dread until a happy moment or day comes around.
Yes the excitation around christmas is an opportunity, I agree Matthew, something that can be missed when we shy away from the fervour of it, which I have done in the past. What has changed for me is a foundation of presence, awareness and love in my body that has grown through attending Universal Medicine workshop, courses and healing sessions. From the openness that people allow in that December period, I can now take that opportunity to connect with them beyond the excitation. It is amazing what can unfold in such a meeting and to feel the truth that it can be lived all year.
Hi Simon
‘What has changed for me is a foundation of presence, awareness and love in my body that has grown….’
This is it isn’t it! I have always been very social as such but now, since Universal Medicine, the solidness and the love in my body takes the connection I have with others to a whole new level.
Matthew I stopped and considered how great I would feel if someone did what you are doing with me at work. That conscious connection, that intention to smile, exchange a few words or even have a conversation can really make such a difference to people, particularly as you say in the post Christmas bleakness.
Beautiful Matthew, I love your observation and approach to this strange annual occurrence that definitely takes place, at least in the Christian based countries. It is like people remember that we like to be around other people, sharing our love and vitality, and after Christmas we forget that we like people, and life goes back to the functional purpose of building recognition and acceptance. Such a backward way of life. Thank you for breaking the mold.
When a window of opportunity opens up for building relationships, it is good for us to go for it in the knowing that we can choose to remain in the business as usual and that if we this is what we decide no one will say anything about because we also return there. So, to build is a choice.
It is so lovely to this read again – truly inspirational Matthew. You are reflecting so beautifully the joy of letting people in and trusting in love again, at any time of the year. Thank you.
I’ll agree. Since becoming a student of the Way of the Livingness, I have become extremely open to the fact that every day, could be as amazing as Christmas, if not better. I have truly allowed that to be my reality, and it is something that I cherish and appreciate so much.
What I notice now is that the sense of bonhomie and the interaction that Mat talks about can be brought to everyday interactions in everyday life. It feels like people are just waiting for that ongoing interaction of the joy of living to be reflected back at them, and when it happens, a little spark of what humanity truly is is ignited and carried on.
What a great way to look at Christmas. The festive season provides the ideal ice breaker for people.
This is a good point you mention Matthew – people are willing and can and do make the effort to be more engaging with each other when they want to. Ok it may be only a few times of the year for certain holidays but somehow, despite the whole year between Christmases and everything that happens in that year people can still pick themselves up to smile and interact with others. How would it look then if we did this all year round? I know from my experience of just saying Hi to the bus driver or cashier at the counter my day is much lighter, and when done to me at work it’s a great moment of connection compared to the seemingly endless lines of disengagement that can occur when I am working behind the till, than if I just ignored them as I used to do.
Hello Matthew and I love what you are sharing. ‘Using’ the pre Christmas cheer as a point for a deepening or more in relationships. I have never seen it that way but it makes sense. The opportunity to support and be with people more, thank you.
It is so beautiful to build relationships with everyone we meet as you shared with us Matthew. Just exchanging eye contact with another and an inner smile – is not just reserved for those we know in our everyday or for the holiday season.
I really love this blog. It simply recognizes and acknowledges our temporal being and taking that to something more, to the next level without criticizing the way people celebrate Christmas. This is such an inspiring blog, Matthew. Thank you so much.
It’s great Mathew that you can connect with people at work. As you say the grind can set in and with that comes the blinkers. Post Christmas is a time people need true connection as the high of the festive season wears off, but the excess sugar and alcohol lingers in the body.
Life is such a roller coaster for many. The pre Christmas buzz which lingers on until New Year. The post Christmas dip but then we get the public holidays to look forward to them and thank goodness for the weekends and the occasional sicky thrown in when the normal Monday to Friday gets too much. Now that I am steady in myself and not in need of escaping how I feel most days are great regardless of the day or time of the year.
A great pickup Mathew, what you say is my experience too. Christmas shows us clearly there is a warmer, more joyful and caring way we can be. So why is that we restrict this to 12 days when we can live this all year round? What a gift this would be.
Gorgeous Matt. You far surpass the greatest meanings of ‘Father Christmas’! Building relationships with all whom we meet is the true joy no matter what the time of the year.
Great blog Matthew, and I can relate to it because I had similar experiences. I am a person who often loves to be in contact so, after a while these people like to be in contact with me as well. What makes me smile is that, if I am not in contact – nowadays – these people instead make contact with me and that is such a gift for me!!!!
I enjoy this part about Christmas as well Matthew and often wondered why it couldn’t be like that all the time – I like how you have made it your gift all year round!
Great what you have shared, Matthew. I love it that you don’t close down in January and continue to let the other in from the pre-Christmas openness platform. I’ve often thought it was such a shame that people often only make that effort once a year, but at least that degree of openness gives a little chink into what is possible if we all opened up like you have.
This is a great observation that you have shared and one that I have also found to be true. It is crazy how we as a society wait for an occasion to feel that we can be friendlier and more open towards each other. I love how you have claimed this opportunity to hold this point of connection, as you continue to build and develop these relationships – beautiful.
Not only Mathew do you highlight the opportunity of being more open and building relationships with others during the Xmas holiday season, it strikes me that this festive season also allows us to think more widely than just our immediate family and friends. Perhaps we could also build on letting others in more during the rest of the year and building relationships with our communities no matter who they are.
It is the openness and friendliness we experience over the Christmas New Year period that allows us to feel the distance and lack of connection throughout the rest of the year. Continuing to deepen our connection to ourself and our joy, will allow a deepening connection to all whom we meet in our daily life, with this continuing openness to connect. Perhaps one day everyday will be Christmas!
Matthew – what you wrote here is such a gift! I love this ‘new’ way to approach the holiday season – as a time to develop and deepen relationships that are then nurtured well beyond New Year’s Eve. Truly brilliant and brings new dimensions and depth to the ‘true meaning of Christmas’
Enjoyed reading your sharing Matthew – yes I notice that people are more open, smiling and greeting each other around the Christmas period as if the barriers come down and an openness to let each other in to their lives, and yes it does feel like family greeting family. After the New Year when so many go back into their new diet regimes, quit smoking or try and quit alcohol (of which many remember they failed at their attempts the previous year) going back to work its like a switch is flicked and the pressure is on again, then the return of the blank look, the smiles are less and the greetings not so open and joyful.
Christmas is an opportunity to celebrate the birth of a renewed and truly loving connection to ourselves and everyone we meet.
As is everyday.
“The development of my Livingness by re-connecting to myself and thereby allowing deeper connections with others that I have found through Universal Medicine has provided me with the tools to tackle life with joy and a fulfilment that is overflowing”
These words are so beautiful Matthew, very inspirational, thank you.
Thank you for the inspiration Matthew which feels relevant for any time of the year really. I’ve often noticed at work that interaction with my colleagues can often feel like a hot and cold tap. On a ‘cold’ day I would normally make excuses and conclude that there must be something going on for them, or something wrong with me, or write-it-off to the scarcity of time and just generally measure how I am with them accordingly to their level of responsiveness. However, your blog inspires me to focus on developing my consistency in sharing all of me and all of my love with my team mates all of the time regardless of the response I receive. And rather than shut down my affection and play the hot/cold game as well, to instead use the marker of the last ‘warm’ day of conversation we shared as the foundation to continually build upon the quality of my relationship with each team member each and everyday.
Well it’s nowhere near Christmas right now but I can report that the people I met today were open and wanting to genuinely connect. Even when I don’t feel this from others I know I always have a choice at how I am with them.
Thank you Matthew, a refreshing look at Christmas. I too like the openness of people around this time and cherish the connections made. I can see how a foundation for new connections is built and this allows for the deepening of these connections in the future.
I’ve loved re reading your blog Matthew which offers a whole different perspective on Christmas. Yes it is a time when people are more open, so I love how you have shared that it is a matter of keeping this openness to all into each and every day and not just savour this for the one special time of the year. Make our relationships full and deep not just one day but every day.
Taking the opportunity to build relationships wherever and whenever possible is one of the foundations of creating true community, and we have the opportunity to do this everyday with everyone we meet.
I felt drawn to read your blog again Matthew though we are three months past ‘Christmas’ – or rather the big family traditional get-to-gether, roast turkey, plum pudding, presents etc. and brings me to reflect on how it, the ‘tradition’ can so easily become another return to exactly how we ‘did it last year’. As was pointed out to me mid last year, it really is a time to extend that warm embrace that we sometimes limit to the ones we know well or are related to closely, to extend that warmth and naturalness of sharing of ourselves to all others, allowing that element of ‘letting people in’ to augment and to grow that intrinsic love that we all hold within – at all times – not just reserved for the ‘silly season’ as some would term it. I valued these wise words and am noticing that the slightly curled in shoulders indicating self-protection are now more in my awareness. What an amazing revelation it is to be aware that to let people in, we must first feel that love within ourselves – whether it be Christmas or ‘just another Sunday’.
Great thank you Matthew, we have so many opportunities everyday to open up and meet people, to connect and share our lived experiences. When we open up and live with open hearts every day brings something deeper something magical. We have this choice and we make such a difference to those around us when we share the love that is there inside us.
This is so true Samantha, sharing the love that is inside us, beautiful for all and deeply magical.
A wonderful reminder of Christmas past and ways to bring more understanding and build relationships this Christmas time.
I loved reading this Matthew, because it feels true in my experiences too. I have definitely loved how christmas has this affect on people opening up and often have said I wish it were christmas all year round. To me it feels that in the lead up to christmas, I feel particularly joyful and notice that in others too. We all feel like we know the same secret, there often feels like there is a spark in the air. I think this is because people are opening themselves up to others. Imagine this being the norm, every day.
Beautiful blog Matthew…. and what strongly came across was the ‘putting people first’ and just being open to everyone that we meet, and as you mentioed, creating: ‘ the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet’. Inspiring.
Thank you Matt, and then to have the opportunity, through the connection with the inner heart to bring that beautiful light and joy into our everyday relationships and meetings is a beautiful experience that we can share with everyone we meet, Every day l
Why wait for the festive season to be love, openhearted and allow open discussion with anyone you meet?
We can share the love and joy that is truly us when in the livingness, with everyone we meet , everyday, in every moment. Now wouldn’t that be a blessing the ripple effect of that simple gesture?
The gift of Universal Medicine to yourself – the gift worth giving.
I so agree Matthew. It’s interesting to observe our behaviour at Christmas time with the impending promise of joy…like joy is something we have to wait for or we can only have on special occasions. I love your approach in using it as an opportunity to build relationships and connection coming from your ever-flowing inner-joy that doesn’t need to wait for Christmas and doesn’t need to wain when it is over.
We should never have to wait to feel joy and love, or wait to be able to share with those around us. It is great that we are learning that one never needs to wait for a special occasion or for a certain someone, but that it is all there for us all, always.
Yes, it is lovely isn’t it Matt, to be a part of an awareness that brings those relationships that people often just do feel at Christmas, into everyday life. How often have we heard Serge Benhayon talking about interactions like this in every day life, at the supermarket, at our work, bringing that interaction that presents to people a different way of being, and also the opportunity to feel conscious presence and the heart in everyday life.
Well said Matthew – I agree – Christmas is often a time when people do open up more and then suddenly post christmas they go back to being more shut down…what if we saw christmas in everyday? What if we kept staying open and more understanding all year around. A great and wonderful challenge to try…
“Something about Christmas” … so true Matthew. There appears to be something in the air that people breathe in unconsciously at that time of year that empowers them to open there hearts to varying degrees and embrace and share in the joy. The joy in connecting with others equally so. It’s as though the Festive Season removes any barriers that lay between us.
A lovely way to re-frame Christmas, thank you for the inspiration, Michael.
Thank You Matthew. What a lovely way to be with Christmas instead of getting hooked into the hurly-burly world of Santas and presents, drinking and eating. In fact, I feel that you have given a lot of people a lovely Christmas present by just being you.
Let’s just spread the message of love, harmony,truth throughout the whole year, not just during festive seasons.
The way the world is in turmoil it needs all the love etc it can get NOW.
Reading your words Matthew reminds me to gently remain open allowing for connection in any relationship, even with a meeting of a simple smile.
A great observation, Matthew. It’s so true people become more friendly and chatty when Christmas is approaching. I certainly was one of those people with fluctuating level of openness towards people. Having one exchange was never enough for me to build another step on top of it to develop a gradual, more solid foundation for a relationship; or use it as a new marker and make it as my new normal. With awareness and commitment, this is changing now.
What a difference it makes when people say yes to connecting – imagine if we all lived every day in this way.
That is what i have found through the teachings of Universal Medicine.
All the expectations associated with Christmas are what I never liked about it. But now I just don’t buy into any of that and just allow myself to do whatever I feel like. This may mean spending time with family, or not, having a leisurely time just being with me, or just celebrating life. This last Xmas I spent with some good friends relaxing, no presents, no big indulgent meal, and no expectations. Thank you Michael for your positive twist on this often stressful time of year.
Yes, great angle of approaching the Christmas season. It is a wonderful opportunity to engage in a conversation which is more than just a ‘hi’ or a nod in the corridor. It does encourage the building of relationships and opens up whole new connections to a community of people that are around us.
Yes Matthew I agree why wait for Christmas to connect with people. Simply acknowledging my colleagues as they walk into the office in the morning and saying good bye on the way home is a little gift I give every working day. Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you Matthew for this lovely inspirational blog. I used to withdraw as well when others did even though I love connecting with people. I held the belief that it would be imposing to continue on the same level if they did not. But I realise that the fact that someone does open up in a period where they are offered some ‘support’ due to having a general topic or a cultural festivity that gives permission as it were, shows that they love this connection too.
So from now on I will keep building every relationship and not withdraw even if they (temporarily) do.
I can so relate to this Carolien, with also withdrawing if I felt others were first. I’ve been seeing lately though, how there are so many opportunities to allow a connection to open up with people who usually don’t make the first move.. like parents helping out at school, or being on a project at work together. It is so beautiful to see people’s faces light up, when a new connection has been made.
I too love Christmas for this reason, Matthew. There is an openness and a cheer at this time of year that is different to the rest of the year. It is as though people are being drawn to each other very naturally at this time and I love it. Carrying this openness and cheer into January and then into February and then into March and so on… is a great way to bring the qualities that are seen at Christmas time out in people every day. It only takes one person to start this. Go for it Matthew! I have also started this too.
“When I feel a deep connection to myself, that steadiness remains, the power remains and the openess to be yourself shines very bright.” Yes being deeply connected to myself allows me to connect more deeply to others and truly enjoy that connection.
Such wise words thank you Mathew “So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.” And is it not awesome we can choose to have these amazing opportunities with all the people we meet everyday not just at Christmas.
Hi Matthew, thank you for your beautiful sharing. To be out there in life and make the most of any moment to connect to another is what it is all about .
A refreshing take on Christmas, thank you Matthew.
Connecting to others is a two way street. If one is shut down and avoiding another, then there is little to build upon. But Christmas tends to unlock that fear slightly. So we don’t necessarily need to do or say anything, we just need to allow ourselves to ‘be seen’. Opening ourselves up to the world having a good look at you, letting the world in and not holding back in shyness or anxiousness, just claiming yourself as grand. Words are not necessary, but if a comment or gesture happens then fabulous. When we hold that grandness post Christmas or post any event, it is this that speaks volumes. So yes Christmas creates the opportunities to connect, but holding and even building our grandness once the festivities have past is the real message that says there is another way.
It is so true how people are naturally more open to connecting at Christmas. I notice this in holiday destinations also – that many more people smile and say good morning as we are out for our morning walks than when I am at home.
A wonderful blog Matthew. Your point about developing your own livingness so you live life with joy that is overflowing was a lovely reminder that everyday can be like Christmas if we commit to our own livingness.
Fabulous insight Matthew – bring on the joy 365 days a year!
Matt this is great a Christmas that just keeps on giving!
I love this Matthew. I too have observed how people open up more during the festive season than at any other time and like you I continue with this way of interacting with people long after it has gone. What I have noticed is that people love to connect and to be seen at any time of year but mostly don’t have the confidence to. It seems like Christmas gives them permission to do this under the guise of wishing people a merry christmas. What I do notice in my local community though is that people seem to continue that connection, that relationship after Christmas has passed and many, whether it be passing on our morning walk or at the local shopping centre, now have deepening relationships with each other, asking after each others families and enquiring how their health may be. This from people who did not even look each other in the eye once. This to me is the celebration of the holiday period.
When we remove the ideals around Christmas, what we are left with is a steadiness that is a power to see things for how they are. I’ve noticed that then I see these waves or pulses of energy that ripple through society in the form of bank holidays, Christmas and Easter to name a few, which causes an openness to occur where there is a greater desire to connect with each other. Humanity really does want to connect.. I’ve come to realise that it is when I feel a deep connection to myself, that steadiness remains, the power remains and the openness to be yourself shines very bright. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have supported this unfolding awareness, and for that I wholeheartedly appreciate.
Hi Penny, love your input to people wanting to connect more during the festive period. Definitely a point to highlight during any season.
Matthew, this is such a light and fresh way to look at Christmas. It’s true we have happy faces and want to connect with the people we work with in the weeks and days leading up to Christmas and open, happy faces when we return to work after the holidays, but before long we close down again. What a beautiful thing to commit to staying open to everyone around you all year long. We can light up each other’s work day with a smile – every day.
When you take out out the ideals of what we must do around Christmas time, like drink lots, eat so much food that we burst, indulge in things we don’t normally do but say its ok because its Christmas or thinking we have to be jolly and full of cheer, Christmas can then be a true celebration period where people can really rest and build beautiful relationships with family, friends and anyone they meet.
Yes, thank you Madeline, so simple, very true and much fun.
I really enjoy the feeling of unity and celebration of community that occurs over the Christmas period. Obviously there is excess, excitement and stress around it as well but I am learning to not get caught up in that and enjoy the time that it brings to connect with people. It is an obvious opportunity in the year for this to occur but ultimately it can remind us that this does not have to be seasonal and that we can live with a deeper connection with our communities throughout the year.
Thank you Samantha. I wonder if the stress of Christmas comes from a fear of connecting to others, and making it about everything else is just a distraction. If we make a choice to enter the ‘festive season’ with the choice to open ourselves up to people, then we lead with that rather than living in the fear of others, and it will help to break the barriers we have within … Your point “this does not have to be seasonal” is very true and the next step in opening ourselves up to the world which you so beautifully do.
The holiday season is really an exiting time for most, and a big disappointment for when its gone again. But I really like your view of it as an opportunity to meet people truly and have a great conversation.
Kathy, Could not agree more, a Christmas bag is just the thing for shopping, with out the festive hassle.
I use a Christmas bag for life when I go shopping throughout the year. It prompts some fun conversations about creating Christmas whenever we want it, but without all the fuss and festive musak
So simple and so lovely to read Matthew, what a wonderful new way to look at Christmas. To focus on connecting with people feels so much more enriching and hopefully the way forward for us in society. Wouldn’t it be amazing for that to be the focus of Christmas in the future and you are already living that now…..amazing!!
Totally agree Raegan, Christmas will never be the same again.
I have found Christmas to be quite an empty time of year in many ways, how lovely to make it about the relationships we build with the people around us, I’m going to make this my focus next year.
Lets forget all the razzmatazz and hype as we get nearer to christmas and the new year. Why not use that energy to connect with people who have nothing or close family ties. We could spread that love and still enjoy it with others.
You are redefining Christmas, or maybe it could be said that you are bringing it back to what it is all about – true connection with self and others.
Hi Mathew, your blog reminded me of what I loved about living in Sydney during the Olympics. People talked! They connected! Normally when you got on the train there was minimal conversation (if any) and during the Olympics, the carriages were a buzzing. The whole city was buzzing. People were talking to strangers all the time – trains, coffee shops, bus stations, offices, random street events, line ups for toilets, the list could go on…. I loved seeing how a city normally plugged into themselves plugged into something else – their fellow brothers and sisters. It was way cool.
As we deepen our own relationship with self it supports the quality of the relationships that build with others. It develops a consistency that is recognised by others. Even if a relationship with someone is a ‘hello’ each morning, a regular customer at work or seeing someone on your daily or weekly chores. It is the consistency that speaks volumes.
‘So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile.’
What a great gift, for us ALL Matthew
I love this blog Mathew, thank you for sharing. I have returned to the daily activities this year after Christmas for the first time feeling no high or low before, during or after the festive season.
A lot of Christmas is focused on presents – apart from the whole lying about a fat man with a beard who doesn’t exist – presents and expectations, and we have that as an issue all year round – do we send a birthday card, do we give a present when we go to stay or visit a friend? When I visit a friend or relative, the best present I can take is my presence – being truly there for them and not miles away in my own think tank. Giving presents as a thank you is another one – do we need to? How many gifts have we all received that we then feel guilty about throwing away but don’t really have house-room for? We could give a present that truly celebrates a person simply for being who they are, not because of a special occasion.
Thanks Matthew. I love the notion of Christmas providing a new marker for the openness that we can have with those around us. Even if it’s just a smile: It’s hard for people not to smile back!
So simple Deryk, absolutely.
Thanks Matthew for offering a different way of looking at the festive season. So true! We can continue to reflect that openness and let people see that it is possible all the time and the it can become a livingness.
I agree, Christmas is actually a great chance to deepen our relationships. Although there is all the commercialization and indulgence, it seems that in most there is also still a glimpse of its true meaning and potential, and such simple remarks, questions and nods are a sign of our longing for more intimacy and harmony. In that sense Christmas is a once a year door crack for many. Let´s open that door wider and wider.
These signs of a longing for more intimacy and harmony are encouraging – we still know there is more than that which we are living. Indeed it is an opportunity to take this time to remember where we came from and to live the way we would love to be living with everyone all of the time.
Christmas is a constant reminder of how we can all be all of the time. I love how people start saying hello and striking up conversations just because it is Christmas time and the ‘merry season’. Now that it is almost February its a great time to ask ourselves if that genuine openness and want to connect and meet people is still there and active.
Very true Vicky, something I’ll be more aware of. What i noticed is that perhaps whatever time of year it is the more open I am the more other people open up and express. And vica versa if I go into situations and don’t open up much I can feel other people who are wanting to open up and talk yet they feel awkward doing it. It happened the other day. Whats great though is that inside everyone wants to be more open it can just be a bit awkward at first as its not expected apart from at Christmas time.
Great point Vicky. It is now we begin to feel if we ourselves are actually building on the opportunity with truth and openness or are we holding ourselves back. Either way is incredible opportunities for healing. Even if we have a sense that we are holding back, it is a great revelation to recognise this is happening and to simply ask the question of ourselves, why?
Thanks for this blog Mathew, I have also found people are more open at Christmas time, its like as a culture we almost need an excuse to be open to everybody. I feel that we all crave this connection and I have found that when I offer this connection to people at any time they will often meet me, I just have to hold the door open a little longer 🙂
I love this Tim ‘Hold the door open a little longer’. It’s so true isn’t it? When we let down the guard and simply hold the space others can feel safe to walk through. 🙂
Thank you Mathew a great marker to deepen our communication and connection with people 24/7 and not only for special events. It shows how deeply humanity is looking for this connection and love.
This is a really interesting perspective on Christmas and definitely one worth pondering on. Although I have never really super enjoyed Christmas as I always felt that there was a lot of pomp and farce surrounding and including the event, I can really appreciate that for many this is a time when they relax and let themselves be something which they, or circumstance, does not normally permit. In that there is always an opportunity for relationships to deepen and for much fun and joy to be had.
What a beautiful and life enhancing way to utilise the interactions that occur in the lead up to Dec 25. Gorgeous. Thank you for sharing, Matthew.
So simple and yet so rewarding! I love deepening my relationships all the time and it is a life-long foundation that is always there. What could be a better gift than that!
Joshua I love this – deepening of relationships it’s a life-long foundation that is always there, and it so is. I am opening up to more and more people in my life and its getting more and more loving the more people that I let in. Life is full of relationships and I am finally feeling great about this, instead of avoiding them. Everything is about relationships.
Building relationships with people comes from just being present with ourselves and at times not even using words. How we walk, move, etc., also radiates a connection to others. So building relationships starts with movement in connection. We are very aware of the subtleties of true movement and so we speak volumes without words, this in itself offers a feeling of safety for others who are ready to take the steps themselves to developing relationships.
Matthew I love what you have written here. How in our expression we can create a safe space for another to feel the trust they could have of themselves and the world – just through our movements. That’s so something to appreciate. This extra depth, awareness and appreciation of my presence I shall take into the world. Beautiful. Thank you
Thanks Matthew, it is different the interactions you get over Christmas time. Everyone seems caught up in the expectations of something better and different for the holidays. Then they come back and its the same thing again. That and they are looking forward to stopping for that short amount of time as they are nearly running on empty after the year. I like the way you are approaching it- an opportunity to build relationships.
Very true Emily. I’ve noticed that the Christmas holidays are also used to hide away from life, to escape to somewhere and bury the head in the sand and ignore what is happening in the world. I do support true rest, but it gets taken to extremes.
Very true Emily. I’ve noticed that the Christmas holidays are also used to hide away from life, to escape to somewhere and bury the head in the sand and ignore what is happening in the world. I do support true rest, but it gets taken to extremes. There are millions of people that cannot even for a day, take a rest or vacation from poverty, violence, war and all the forms of abuse.
What you relate here sounds like what the true intention of Christmas should be – connecting with others, and yet wouldn’t it be amazing if we had this willingness to be open to connecting with others all year round?
It did make me uncomfortable at times to initiate or respond to the conversation as I didn’t see any purpose. But, now there is a purpose to meet the person and connect. It is not about the conversation but the Connection!
Absolutely Haresh, it’s all about connection. Connection to ourselves and with each other, the deeper our connection, the greater the connections we have with everyone else, quite magical.
I love your blog Mathew and agree that Christmas is an opportunity to build on the relationships and I feel that we do not need to wait till Christmas to do this. This can be done at any time of the year by the way we greet people, always being fully open to them in that moment of passing them in the corridor or in the shops we go to regularly or with other family members when we talk with them,etc . What I have noticed is that they begin to drop their protection and open up and the relationship deepens and develops over time.
I used to hate christmas because it was so fake, but now i love it because i find the most unlikely people are open to catching up at that time of year.
I love was you have shared Matthew about Christmas. I loved it as a child because of seeing my family and sharing the day. This has changed as I’ve become older, with a very low focus on Christmas. There is something very lovely about the way people are with each other (mostly) at this time of year, but I have often wondered why do we need a day allocated to be this way, when there is a whole year’s worth of days to also connect in this way. Your perspective has put a whole new slant on this for me. Thank you.
Matthew I can so relate to the evolving relationship you speak of with Christmas. I have been through so many phases and stages with Christmas myself. From claiming Xmas be celebrated with our family without alcohol many years ago as one of the first steps in bringing connection and meaning to Xmas, to having a few Christmas’s where we avoided doing anything with the family to avoid the whole ‘Christmas’ thing. To then coming back and allowing myself to claim it within me for the purpose and meaning I have in getting together with my family and what celebration means when we celebrate who we truly are and each other in this way. This Xmas just gone, I did not have a lot of money, I have two young children and I continue a ritual with them of gift giving in a way that feels meaningful to me…this year, they received the most simple gifts, there was no excitement while they opened them, they took their time (2 hours in total) and at the end said they were the best gifts they had ever received. All i could feel was stillness in the room. That to me was the celebration, in marking how far, I and they have come in knowing we are greater and grander than any gift, and a gift or a day such as Xmas is not worth leaving yourself over…
I love what you’ve share Matthew. For myself, Xmas was a period of time that I dreaded.
This feeling of here comes the ‘silly season’ started for me as an adult.
As a child, like most children, I loved all the presents, and I loved that I wasn’t at school, something I also didn’t favour. However, there was at times over these earlier years, always the sting, that I didn’t get exactly what I wanted.
By the time, I reached my later years, it became a time of year I simply had to get through. The fake-ness, the over spending, etc, all became to much, to the point, I referred to myself as a Xmas witch.
Fortunately, after reclaiming and truly connecting with myself, and asking questions about why I’ve dread this time of year, I’ve just had the best Xmas ever.
I simply allowed others to be themselves, I had no expectations around any area, i.e food, gifts, etc, and what unfolded, was a day full of enjoyment, family all working together and lots of love.
And like you Matthew, I choose to create, to the best of my ability, this newly found Xmas joy in each new day with whoever I’m spending it with.
‘I referred to myself as a Xmas witch’ – Hilarious Jacinta, but it’s amazing how you have changed since then.
That’s awesome Matthew… It made me consider what happens when the festive season comes and you have people pass you on the street and say hello as if they are thrilled to see you even though they don’t know you…But then when christmas and new years is over there is definitely less of that. It’s like when the festive season is here everyone needs to abide by the ideal of being happy/ merry all of the time because if not, your on the naughty list. Metaphorically speaking.
I really enjoyed the simplicity of this blog Matt. I have not celebrated Christmas for a very long time and actually this year felt like I actually have an aversion to the craziness that can come with the festive season. Your blog threw a whole new light on the ability to connect and deepen relationships with people at this time – so thank you, I will be open to this next time around!
There is a guy at work who jokes as he walks past and comments to me “living the dream”. He says this often, but there is a sense of giving up from him. I can’t help but agree with him, not about giving up, but living the dream. The dream is sold to us by society that we need a flash car, fancy clothes, a better job or just another way to live that is ‘better’ than where we are at right now and there are many people who are there to offer this as a way to live. There is the drive to want and have more and the grass is greener ‘over there’, but actually the dream is already within. Living and feeling the pulse of love is the dream and it cannot be found in anything material. Connection is the dream and people desperately want connection. Realising our own connection is the foundation that promotes the dream to be discovered within others. So when we smile or say hello, we say connect.
It’s so true that the lead up to Christmas can be a great opportunity to meet people or get to know people more deeply. It seems like we have become so separate from one another that we think we need a reason or some common ground to get to know each other. This says to me that we all miss that natural connection we have with one another and are just looking for a way back in. The more people who choose to keep that connection alive post Christmas, the more we will be able to have that all year round.
I enjoy interacting with people – but I have realized that for a long time I cut myself off from expressing to people. I would over think situations and convince myself that I really didn’t have much to share with people so I didn’t.
I am really enjoying allowing myself to be me and smile and chat to who ever I feel to (most of the time). So it’s not just about being friendly at Christmas time I like it to be all the time.
Matthew it is lovely what you have expressed about christmas and I also agree with yours and others comments stating, wouldn’t it be wonderful for us all to be open to sharing our love with each on a consistent basis everyday, instead of just in the festive time of the year. So the best way for me, is to start with myself and be willing to be open with everyone and to let people in.
I agree Deidre – I felt drawn to your words “so the best way for me, is to start with myself and be willing to be open with everyone and to let people in” – and this is it in a nutshell really. When all is said and done, the festive season/Christmas time is seen by many as a time to re-kindle, re-connect and further develop loving relationships – and I feel more now for me it is a time to reflect upon, re-kindle, and re-connect with the truly loving relationship with ourselves first – thus making any other relationship more true.
I love what you have shared here Matthew – simple and powerful. I must admit, I have been one who tends to ‘hold her breath’ over Christmas and waits for the commotion to die down. I have always felt disheartened that people, who rarely speak with you normally, are suddenly willing to be open and wanting to connect. Thank you for turning this negative into a positive – instead of feeling the falsity of this, I can choose, as you have done, to see the love on offer in such moments and use this as a foundation when next we meet, albeit in the crash and tumble of the post-festive celebrations. For in truth, we would ALL love to be meeting in this way every day and not just setting aside one period in a year to do so. We have not set up our society to be like this because we allow so much of ‘life’ to get in the way of love. But life IS love – so what on earth have we been living?!
I absolutely love the way you look at Christmas as a way of building relationships and not stopping with doing that after the festive season. I have also noticed in myself that I can be much more open and chatty at a moment that I know something pleasant is going to happen. And then after the pleasant occasion to drop down in my old behaviours of not saying or expressing much. Although I am working on living in a consistent expressive way, this is a great reminder and inspiration to take this even deeper. It is such a joy to live consistently open with everyone!
I can relate to this Matthew. I used to feel as though a holiday or a break somewhere would do the trick, would revive my lethargy and set me up for a new start. In truth, all it does is exhaust me further. I haven’t had a ‘holiday’ in years and what I noticed in the last few years when I was going away or living overseas and doing multiple short trips, was that I would always need to schedule in a day or two before going back to work to recover and regroup from the holiday itself. Which is counter productive if you ask me!
What Universal Medicine has helped me to realise is that, I have been treating everyday life like some kind of chore that has me walking around with a ball and chain like I’m the worlds hostage, rather than embracing every single day as a new day that will offer so many new connections with people at work and with every interaction I might have with shop keepers, etc.
It leaves me with the question : why do I choose to pretend that life is such a battleground, when it is a direct result of my attitude towards life that creates that illusion?
Thank you Matthew, what an inspiring way to look at Christmas and how we can continue connection, that can be lived and celebrated with ourselves and each other always.
So beautiful Adele I love the way you expressed that we can celebrate with ourselves and each other always. Stunning.
This is awsome I had never thought of that marker or point that Matthew referred to, to pick up where you left off.
Thank You Matthew. A new take on Christmas that I hadn’t considered.
Lovely blog Matthew and indeed, why reserve this openness just for Christmas. I notice by just walking through town, looking at people, smiling and by just saying a friendly hello, the response at times is truly joy-full.
Well said Alison, celebrating and appreciating ourselves and others daily. How absolutely wonderful and so normal for the naturally loving heart to do when allowed to do so.
Matthew your simple reflections have inspired me to see those extra moments of interaction before Xmas or any other event, as an opportunity for greater connection with others. Thank you.
Great point you make about the pre-Christmas smile. It is truly an opportunity to take that as a marker and build and deepen relationships from there. We might realize that as Helen says that we can make this joyful connection every day!
Yes… I love Christmas too or at least the break that comes with it. The flurry of getting children off to school and the endless extra curricular activities that can exhaust a Mother in a matter of weeks. The break at Christmas lets me feel how far I have gone away from myself and gives me the opportunity to become more self aware and hold that feeling into the new year. It’s easy to be drawn out of yourself with children but reassuring to have a marker that alerts you to this happening.
My feeling is that pretty much everyone wants to connect with each other but for whatever reason often we hold back and wait for others to make the first move. As you’ve identified Christmas is a time when people open up, they feel they have something in common to talk about, even with strangers
It’s often said, “I wish it could be Christmas every day”. Well I guess it can, in the way that Matthew presents, connecting with people everyday. Now that would be a present worth opening!
I work in the tourist industry and see the toll that holiday expectations, outlays and build up can take on people especially at Christmas time. For me its important to make the connection every day – its a sure fire way to avoid the let down from saving it all up for special times!
Yes, I have also observed that people around Christmas time seem to give themselves permission to be more jovial and also connect more with each other. It is a great reminder that we can stay open and accessible every other day of the year as well, we don’t need a reason or calendar event to share more of ourselves with others. Thank you Matthew
I always asked my self what is going on on christmas. It seems to be a high season
for relationships. But you are true Matthew, true connection is building relationship with everyone in any time.
I never understood why I had to be, we have a german expression, „warm ums Herz“ (direct translation: warm around the heart), just because it was the 24th of December. Why only at this date and not every day of the year?
I love your focus on pre and post christmas time Andrew.
It makes clear that if christmas time is about honouring your relationships it is about appreciating these relationships pre and post christmas- meaning the whole year. Celebrating relationship time forever 😉
Beautiful Matthew , what a way to be! Sounds like you are making the effort everyday that most only make during the festive season. What a marker!
Christmas is about relationships and everyone being as family for me. I had the most gorgeous Christmas family experience with the children in my classroom this year. It was a culmination and confirmation of all we had built in our relationships during the year. A beautiful way to end the term.
I really noticed this Christmas how so many relaxed and opened up more and it was so lovely seeing more of who they truly are, without ‘work roles’ as such, getting in the way. And how we often feel like we can express more in a card then what we may in general conversation. What I’ve learnt and taken from this, is that now every conversation or chat when passing in the hall, can be as open and meaningful and doesn’t need to be left until Christmas.
What a sweet and beautiful article this is! It is so true about how people’s mood change pre-Christmas and post-Christmas. I shall put it into practice straight away; “nurturing of initial hello or pre-Christmas smile” and “continue from where the relationship reached”. Thank you so much for this Matthew.
Thank you for sharing this Matthew. This is also the one thing I love about Christmas, the opportunity it brings to connect more deeply with all people in our lives.
I love christmas. It’s true people are more receptive around that time and not in January or later in the year but I take advantage of that and work on my relationships with them so that we have something stronger to last the other 11 months!
Thank for sharing this insight Matthew. I have always enjoyed how people are more open during this time of year. I can also feel how much they enjoy it too. How sad that we need a reason or permission to do so only to shut down again after it’s over. No wonder so many have a bittersweet relationship with Christmas.
It is amazing that as a society we wait until Christmas to connect with each other. And as you pointed out Matthew, why do we not continue on with that level of connection throughout the rest of the year. For me, this exposes the true falsehood of christmas. I too have always loved Christmas, and the opportunity to catch up with people and family I have not seen for a while. But underneath this there is also the imposition of Christmas that almost demands that we “connect” with other people out of obligation. So much I see at Christmas is done out of obligation, rather than true connection – the buying of presents for people we may not even like, the attendance of christmas parties because we feel we have to. It creates a falseness where we feel like we need to pretend that everything is OK in the world for just that month. It would serve us all much better is we used to stop at christmas to develop a deeper level of honesty with our relationships, where we were able to express what is really going on, to form much deeper connections beyond that which we feel obliged to do.
Well said Adam, and thank-you Matthew for a blog that offers so much to reflect upon.
The word ‘consistency’ came immediately to mind upon reading this blog. It is really a sad state of affairs that we may see a more ‘consistent openness’ between people around Christmas, but that this so frequently is displayed only for the ‘duration of the season’.
As you are exemplifying Matthew, what if we all brought such openness and natural care for and inclusiveness of others to our interactions all year ’round?
There need not be a fleeting sense of goodwill. It is something we can all personally take responsibility for and nurture in the relationships we have with everyone around us – be they family, friends, colleagues, shopkeepers or people we simply see on the street. In my books, it’s inherent in our very makeup to connect with each other so openly. Just ‘one’ person can make such a vast difference, in a world where the retreat you speak of is so commonplace.
Too true Adam. 90% of what occurs at Christmas season is wasted energy. So depleting, so draining, so exhausting. Many know that it is a commercial exercise yet fall into the trap and overdo everything. There is no quality in living like this.
Mathew, thank you for your article – it really did call me to reflect how I “re-acted” around Christmas just past – in dismay and judgement at the whole charade that I was witnessing – resulting in a bit of a melt-down for me. Thank-fully I have since felt the error of my expectation of “how it should/could be” but still felt a little regretful that others/the family couldn’t see what I could see as far as the untruth of the hype. It feels now by developing my awareness of allowing others to see things as they do and accepting that it is not my right to impose my feelings on the behaviours/expressions of others that a deeper level of loving understanding is reached – and now with your article I can feel it truly is about sharing my natural loving way without expectation or imposition, and continuing that light-hearted and convivial exchange way past the ‘festive season’ from a deeper place within.
Awesome Matthew. “So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile” and consequently how much more rich will your relationships be by next Christmas? That sure is a gift for you and everyone you come in contact with.
I have noticed how over the holiday season at the coffee shop where I work, every one was more chatty and friendly and it was great – everyone had something to start a conversation about. But now the holidays are over, people have gone back to avoiding conversation where ever possible.
Now this is a beautiful view on Christmas!
I to have experienced the extra warmth given out leading up to christmas. The street parties where once a year all the neighbours actually talk to each other. How disappointing it is that christmas can’t remain all year.
I can relate to what you shared Mathew thank you. As it is a beautiful opportunity to rebuild and develop new relationships with people.
Awesome Matthew, what a great reminder about making the most of every opportunity to connect with others.
I love that you have claimed that Christmas has allowed your relationship to expand with others and that you have claimed this as a new marker in your relationships.
Matthew. The relationships we build over the christmas period, or at any other time, we need to cultivate them, so that they run and run. Not just a one off during a festive season.
Absolutely Mike. Christmas is but one event during the year that as a collective planet we unite to celebrate something. There are many other days that unite people to a common theme. These are great opportunities to connect, it’s a lot of fun.
Hi Susan, I also went for a walk on Christmas day. After spending the morning on my own I decided it was time to ‘mingle with nature’ and I was also greeted with lots of smiles and festive greetings, it was lovely and it gave me a feeling of oneness with everyone and it’s something I can continue into the new year and beyond!
Hi Matthew, Reading the blog again today and it really made me question why is it that we only open up during the pre Christmas season and why is it that strangers suddenly feel they have permission to speak which isn’t there any other month of the year? It is quite a strange phenomenon when you really stop and look at it. So having that same intention to connect to people no matter what time of year it is feels great. Thank you.
Thanks Judy, I agree, we have made life about all these events that occur in the world and we move from event to event. The key or foundation is to make life about people, then it matters not what event is happening in the world.
So true Judy. Why when we know the loveliness that connection brings to our lives do we choose to do it mostly on special occasions? Like we give ourselves permission to open up on designated days. How much richer and joyful life would be if we all committed to connecting and developing a willingness to learn from each other on a daily basis. This is something that I am now allowing in my life and the changes and development of my relationships have been huge.
I am really enjoying being back at work in January and continuing to strengthen relationships that developed at the end of last year. People are really open to it and it is lovely to see that. It shows that we can maintain this growth if we choose to. It also shows me that a new year is not a new change but a continuation of what already exists.
I love that Hannah… “New year is not a new change but a continuation of what already exists!” We don’t tend to look at the new year in that light. Perhaps that’s why new years resolutions don’t work?
As I re-read your article Matthew I was feeling how different everyone’s days would feel if there was that same openness and willingness to connect EVERY day of the year. I bet it would have a huge impact on our health and well being…surely rates of depression, self worth issues, anxiousness would all drop significantly for starters. That openness with each other to sincerely want to connect and be with each other in that way, could mean our national health systems would be way less under stress and far more healthy themselves. A huge difference.
Hi Matthew, I liked the point you make about people seem to be more willing at christmas to engage in an interaction that otherwise may not happen and that it gives you the opportunity to build on that relationship.
Having moved around quite a lot in my life, I love catching up with everyone’s news via christmas cards. Last year I decided to do something about the annual ‘and we must meet up this year’, and have actually started to meet up, with fellow pupils from 40 years ago, work colleagues from 30 years ago, so far.
What is so beautiful is that supported by Universal Medicine and all the comments from this website, I go celebrating me and all that I am now and able to accept and celebrate others. It doesn’t matter what anybody is wearing or looking like, where they are living or what they are doing. How freeing is that?
This is the realness that is missing in our world today. I stopped sending Christmas Cards many years ago as I felt I was rehashing my life and looking for parts to entertain my friends with. A new holiday, house renovations, new relationships and the list goes on. There was no quality in the connection and I felt the same when I received cards in return. The coming together in the simplicity of who we are and connecting at that moment is the pure gift of Christmas. There is no need to leave with anything but the quality in which you came in.
What a beautiful gift to the people you interact with Mathew, to continue the one thing we all want after the ‘high’ of the Christmas season- that is, connection with others. It made me feel that perhaps the reason the Christmas season gets stretched into starting earlier and earlier every year is that people are really looking for that connection that you have spoken of, but they have put up layers of protection from being hurt, so they refer back to indulging in food, drink, and buying things to fill that emptiness or lack of connection that is there. As I do a little more of what Mathew is doing, reaching out and connecting with others, people can then understand what true and lasting connections feel like.
How to continue ? – I just imagine that it is continually christmas and that ‘festive permission’ to talk is still there.
Letting the christmas period be an opportunity to see and feel everyone’s ability and willingness to open up to each other and deepen the quality of our interactions, and then saying let’s not limit this to December each year…that is a turn around.
This is great Matthew, why do we limit our connection with others to only Christmas time when we can build on our relationships with the whole of humanity everyday – maybe then their wouldn’t be that come down feeling back to the mundaneness of life.
Great point Oliver, after the high and intensity of Christmas, it stands to reason there would be a comedown of equal measure afterwards.
You’re spot on Oliver. If we were to build our relationships everyday of the year (not just on one particular day), there would be no post-christmas dip or depression.
Yes Oliver you’re so spot on. I know when I’m open to meeting people and have some lovely interactions with people this makes my day. I feel that’s true for the people I meet too. So it makes sense to live like this 365/6 days a year.
It’s got me pondering. I wonder if people’s over indulgence at this time of year has something to do with missing the feeling of being open hearted with others the rest of the year and knowing it is just for a short while?
I have noticed recently, thanks to reading your blog Matthew, that when I make the effort to meet people and look them in the eye, very few are not open to this, most respond with an openness. It takes very little effort to make more of an effort.
Exactly Amina: great point that it is “before and after Christmas” – it seems like the focus is usually just on before and during!
What I really like about your blog, Matthew is that it exposes just how much people love connecting to others and how open they truly are to being open when they’re on holiday, or off work or in celebration, unfettered by the responsibilities of life for a nano-second; and that most sadly, once the greyness of the humdrumness of existence passes back over them like a cumulo-nimbus cloud come January 2nd, the very thing that can lift them – true, joy-full contact with the equality of a fellow human being – is cast aside, put away in the ‘For Christmas’ box, relegated to its once a year fest rather than becoming an everyday part of life. Those of us who prefer the ‘for Life, not for Christmas’ approach are suddenly relabelled ‘a bit weird’ when we continue to engage as if nothing has changed – because it hasn’t. Only us.
Now that Christmas and the New Year festivities are over, may be the world could now get back to normality. I saw pushing and fighting to get to the bargains at the sales, over filling shopping trollies with food and alcohol, as though the world was coming to an end. I see how futile all the fuss is weeks before the Christmas period, and it’s over in the flash of an eye. This is not really who we are.
Thank you Matthew. I hadn’t really considered this aspect of christmas before. When I spent christmas with my family this year I appreciated the fact that we were able to get the whole family together (when it it is near impossible at other times of the year). Your blog inspires me to explore how I can continue this connection year round even though we are separated geographically…
I love your blog Matthew. Yes, what a great opportunity to continue the relationship after the being friendly month of December is past. In some ways people will recognise that it was them that started the conversation so can’t really complain when you offer take them up on it the next time. That you give them the chance to extend the friendly month to the rest of the year is just beautiful.
I love queues and late buses/trains because people are more open to interacting – they’re there with nothing to do but wait so why not interact with others.
I love all you say Mathew about christmas and being all about people and the joy of connectiong and getting together and shows what people really treasure underneath all the food ,presents and overconsumption.A great sharing of this magical time to be honoured everyday for who we naturally are.Thank you
It is so refreshing to read a new and positive approach to Christmas, instead of either the panic and glamour of it all, or the moans and grumbles about it. To build relationships that then continue after Christmas is a beautiful gift for everyone.
Wonderfull shared Matthew, that because people are more open to meet during Christmas we are provided with the opportunity to build relationships with everyone we meet. And from there, when people have fallen back into their old withdrawn type of behaviour, we can relate back to this connection we have made during Christmas time. This makes Christmas really a lovely time of the year, a time to gather new relations we can nurture and expand in the time after.
Matthew its great what you share about Christmas and observing how people come out for that little smile or joy. Christmas is big for us being in a hotel and a great opportunity for us to get as many people together to enjoy the festive season. Christmas Day is a very beautiful day where many people join us for a beautiful lunch. Every year we make it special, from the way the rooms and tables are decorated to the way the guest are welcomed and greeted. From serving the foods and drinks. It was lovely to see those who would normally stay quiet and shy away, join in the joy of Christmas, it was a day for everyone to take part from customers to staff.
I love your contribution Matthew and I remember a man in his front yard one Christmas Day morning when I was on my walk encouraging me to take more of the frangipanis that had dropped on the lawn. I knew he wasn’t usually this friendly and forthcoming and found it amazing that he would reserve this openness and friendliness for a single day of the year. It puzzled me but from what you have written I can see that it was actually who he more naturally was and that I can make this a marker for relating to him and others.
It is true, the chiristmas period does result in people being more open to saying hello to one another. There is a feeling of community connecting on a certain level and it is interesting that this leaves as it came, after New Years Day. Great to continue those hellos and continue to build connections, it could be like this all the time rather than for a few weeks a year. Thank you.
Matthew, thank you for the reminder that we always have a choice as to how we are with another. Another may choose to retreat, to step back from a connection that has been made, whether after Christmas or at any time, but I need not ‘play safe’ and do the same, I can still choose to continue the connection. And it is the same where there has been an absence of connection, say after a disagreement, I can hold back, or not….
An inspiring, warm and welcoming blog Matthew. Thank you.
It is great to continue to nurture the connections made around the Christmas period and then on throughout the year
It is amazing how we can choose to make an event or period of time different from what is accepted by the norm, and in so doing elevate it. I love how you bring to light the cycle of the Christmas period: the building excitement followed by the retreat into our usual grind. It is as if we hope that the celebration of Christmas and New Years will make it all go away, and when we return to ‘normal life’ we are crushed by the fact that nothing has changed. What you show us, Matthew, is that the openness we allow ourselves to have, the connection with each other has not actually gone anywhere once the holidays are over. It is simply a matter of making a choice to open up.
Hi Matthew, this is truly inspiring and beautiful. What an opportunity we are given here to build our connections.
A great article Matthew and I have noticed your observations in the people I meet. As you say a great marker for us to carry on the conversation and interaction instead of allowing it to be saved for Christmas, and to build relationships the whole year through and interact with our colleagues and people we meet.
Seeing Christmas as an opportunity to connect to people and then using this as a marker for the rest of the year is an amazing way to look at this festive season. I love that there can be so much more than time off, gifts, food and just being with people – it can be connecting with people.
I love this too Hannah, ‘I love that there can be so much more than time off, gifts, food and just being with people – it can be connecting with people.’
Such a fresh approach to Christmas. I felt a sense of joy as I read your article Matthew, bringing connections forth into normal everyday ness …this is indeed inspiring for all, thank you
On the morning of Christmas Day I was out walking and at the end of my road were two men, early 20s standing there – one black, one with a hoodie on. I could have felt intimidated, but hey, it’s Christmas, so I said ‘Hello’ and they responded instantly with smiles and laughed and wished me ‘Merry Christmas’. When I walked back, they were still there, obviously waiting to be picked up, so I asked if they were working. They were quick to assure me they weren’t, they were going to have fun, and told me to enjoy my day, ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do’ one said. It was a joyful moment – it didn’t matter what was said, it’s just that as strangers we had connected, having the local area and Christmas in common. Whenever I walk about, I look at people – some make eye contact, some obviously don’t want to, but when I make the first move and say ‘Hello’ it is always magical when there is a smiling response back.
What a great story Carmel and example of how we suspend our usual guarded ‘rules of engagement’ at Christmas. How many more joyful moments would be experienced if we made the first move more often?
With nativity plays and carols we are reminded of the birth of Christ. This blog seems to expand on this and reminds us of love and brotherhood, of equality and celebrating ourselves through the connections we make. I certainly feel inspired to take this with me into the New Year. Thank you Matthew.
Lets all learn to speak to one other, no matter what day it is, not just at christmas time. Amazing how people will respond to feeling wanted and being recognised for who they are.
” It is their pre-Christmas effort toward me returning. I can continue from where the relationship reached and for that I’m very grateful……….Maybe they don’t want to chat and return to hiding, but for a brief moment they can be pulled up and out of the ramble of the day and offered another way.
Thank you Matthew for reminding me how simple it is to build on the new marker and deepening this everyday.
‘allowing deeper connections with others that I have found through Universal Medicine has provided me with the tools to tackle life with joy and a fulfilment that is overflowing.’
Not often in life do we hear about people living with an overflowing joy and fulfilment – this is thoroughly refreshing and inspiring.
Absolutely Michelle, this is very inspiring indeed.
I love that you picked up on that Michelle, it’s so true – the norm is the overflowing problems and struggle so the article can inspire many people, myself included.
A great way to celebrate Christmas, Matthew and to extend that feeling way beyond, I just love the idea of ‘my gift back to them is the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile.’ and this smile is a present that is passed on throughout the day as it multiplies and warms us all on those chilly days after Christmas.
Hi Matthew, this is a great inspiration for us all as we return to our working lives after the Christmas break. To continue with those connections made, great observations you have shared in this blog. Thank you
Absolutely Monica; why not continue that openness and connection throughout the entire year?!
Christmas does seem to be an opportunity for people to be a little more open and friendly, maybe more sociable, more willing to make an effort with family, neighbours and friends, so it’s a great marker to bring that into the rest of the year.
I agree Laura that Christmas seems to be a time when people drop much of the usual hardness, protectiveness and open up to each other. It is a great example of how it is very possible to live this way with each other and does beg the question if we can do it at Christmas then why not the rest of the year too? Perhaps this is why some people say, “I wish it could be Christmas every day!”?
“I now have a point or marker that I feel allows me to continue with the relationship. For me it’s wonderful to hold that point when the post holiday emotional retreat comes, and the so-called mundaneness of life kicks back in. So my gift back to them is the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile. ”
Now THAT is a New Years Resolution worth going for!
Matthew, I love how you have drawn our attention to something that I have often noticed and rarely been able to follow up. and that is the nurturing of that little bit of opening up before Christmas, when people will engage and dare to express more than usual. The word nurturing allows a gentle quality, so there is no trying or forcing of the situation, but to remember the quality with which that interchange took place, and know that it is there to be found,felt, and expressed even if the other person has withdrawn again. We do not have to withdraw too, but consciously build on that foundation.
An awesome blog – so many people either hate the holiday season, are indifferent or go for it full force. It’s amazing to hear a different perspective – one that so beautifully encompasses others .
Hi Matthew, thank you for sharing this alternative view on “the holiday season” and offering the possibility that although everyone gets a little jollier around Christmas, that it doesn’t have to end on the 26th of December. We ourselves can carry it on, even if only through a smile.
I can feel your love of people emanating through your words and the appreciation you have of Christmas time, turning it from humbug to people time. Awesome blog!
Lovely blog Matthew and so very true. The christmas season certainly has a way of bringing people out of their hiding places and for a brief moment be more open with others, so its inspiring to read that you are nurturing that pre-christmas moment and making it about the long term relationship rather than a once a year ‘Hello’.
yes it is awesome the relationships that come up and flourish around Christmas time and I too look forward to re connecting with these relationships on return to work. It would be amazing to have this openness from everyone all year round.
So true Natalie, why just reserve it for Christmas? What a wonderful way to start the new year as well. Forget new years resolutions. Make it about staying open with people.
And now Christmas and the holiday season has receded and everyone is back at work – how’s the Christmas openness going? For me I know it is always up to me and what I bring to each person I meet no matter what time of year.
What you say is true Matthew, there is “something about Christmas”. On my way home from my family yesterday I stopped at a petrol garage and a small supermarket outlet. At the till a lovely woman was waiting to take my money. There was a greater openness and warmth to chat because of the holiday and we shared a very gorgeous moment about what we were both up to. It was like she was a friend. So yes there is something about Christmas that gives permission for people to open up. What if we could live like this everyday of the year?
I find it interesting that Christmas is a time when people open up and greet everyone, family and strangers alike as friends, connecting with each other with a warm smile and loving words. As you say Matthew, we can maintain and build on this openness throughout the year and bring more love to the world.
I agree Mary; everyday is an opportunity to BUILD on our connection with humanity.
Its so sad when you actually look at it, that it takes something that comes around once a year to make people a bit more open. Why can’t we just be a little more open, loving and caring the whole year round? This is a great start though Matthew and something that will only grow.
I agree with you Kevin, why do we wait for the whole year to open up to others when we should always that way. The people replying to this blog and others that will follow are as you stated, a good start to spread this Christmas activity to others, every day of the year.
Totally agree Kevin, why can’t we be open loving and caring all the year round instead of going back into our shells for another year? Maybe this year will be the year of change.
Kevin I agree being back at work this year, however, I’ve noticed some people seem to be willing to be that bit more open – granted its only the first day back for many so time will tell. It will be interesting to see how January goes – a month of deep hibernation or could it be different this time around? Perhaps people start to open up in December, celebrate Christmas and then realise that it’s not been the life fixer and start to close down again – thinking its all over until the next year. It would be interesting to see if we changed our perception and approach to make Christmas more a time of opportunity to connect and build relationships with people that the January blues might be a thing of the past.
Matthew you have taken Christmas from being about ‘family’ to being about ‘people’, such a beautifully inclusive approach to this time of year.
Yeah like everyone has shared, amongst the madness and stress is actually a lot of people reaching out to connect. I also see christmas as adults’ ways of trying to recreate magic in their lives, it shows me that many people know magic exists but have just stopped looking for it in simple places like nature and children’s laughter and make it about tinsel and elves etc instead.
Too true Vanessa. Adults try very hard to keep the magic of Christmas alive for so long for children with the belief that there is a man that flies on a sleigh to deliver gifts. To me, this proves that they feel magic on some level, even if it was many years ago and in their memories of childhood when they also felt the true magic of soulful connection, but have only forgotten.
‘I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.’ – Incredible Matthew. Christmas can be an opportunity for everyone to enjoy spending time with each other and connect, even without the excessive drinking and/or eating.
What a lovely way to view Christmas. Thank you Mathew.
Thank you Matthew for this wonderful insight into Christmas. I would agree Christmas is a time for people, relationships and connections and I love how you are speaking of maintaining or developing relationships after Christmas. There is a change where people are realising getting ‘things’ at Christmas is nothing compared to ‘being’ with people.
I love this blog! I can totally relate to the feeling of a post-Christmas lull, returning back to old ways. It is crazy how we are nice, polite, and caring to fellow members of humanity in the run up to ONE DAY of the year – and the difference is noticeable. What would the state of our society be if we were this caring with one another EVERY DAY of the year?
Now that’s a society I would love to live in – here’s to committing to my part in making that a reality.
Thank you, Matthew. I was travelling by train out of London on Christmas Eve, and enjoyed observing everyone being more chatty with strangers, telling them where they were going and what they were doing. For all the hype and excess, I agree that Christmas is also an opportunity to connect and open up to each other more.
Yes it is extraordinary how we open up around these times. A national festival seems to give us a national connection and suddenly we find it easier to chat with strangers and share ourselves. As Jess says below, what would our society be like if we found this common point of connection and care every day of the year, and not just in one.
What a beautiful way to truly embody the message of Christmas, to engender peace and goodwill to all mankind? And so true, all those people who usually hurry past and don’t engage suddenly have a point of connection, a question to ask and if we choose, we can open up to that connection and deepen it in the days after the partying and merriment and nurture new found friendships through the rest of the year. I too have found that since deepening my connection with myself, Christmas is no longer about cards, presents, booze and escaping, its about being with people and simply celebrating one another’s company, with nourishing foods and plenty of joy and taking that forward into every day of the year.
I love this as a way to look at what happens after all the tinsel has been packed away.
Like you – I have observed how everyone has spent December ‘coming out of their shell” a little more.
They are happy to greet you, look at you, have a few quick words when normally you would not get even the slightest acknowledgement.
So our December interactions are absolutely perfect to nurture in the new year, when all at once people have become too busy for a small passing gesture.
How amazing would it be to break the post Christmas ‘slump’ with a little more love and communication.
Mathew i loved reading your blog, I was so caught up in Christmas and would always get hit hard by the low that followed the hype I created. Looking back over the past few weeks its so true that people say “hello” more and come out of hiding. I enjoy the time to stop and reflect and now also can see it as the start of an amazing opportunity to keep building relationships with everyone.
Hi Matthew, I agree with you. One of the things the ‘festive season’ does bring is the opportunity to interact with more people and build relationships, we would not normally give time to. It is great that you see this and carry it on in the months to come as well, instead as you say dropping this opportunity and possibility and going back to withdrawing from others which we can easily do.
I agree Vicky – this way of looking at christmas is so amazing, not focusing on gifts, the festivity and the food and drink, but instead on people, and building relationships.
Matthew I love the way you have described Christmas. I totally get it and love Christmas for how it bings people closer together.
I love all you say Mathew and I am really appreciating Christmas time more than ever with the opportunities for connection with people and joy shared in this. A smile and reaching out and the shared occasions with others is magical and not to be missed in the frenzy that also happens at this time of year. Thank you for sharing these observations with real love and understanding.
What a great way to look at and approach the Christmas season Matthew. Not holding any grudges against anyone if they decide to withdraw after coming out but holding them to what you saw before when they came out and saying “Hey I’ve seen you and I will continue to engage with you” (I know these are not your words, just the sense of what I get from what I’ve read). Having made your life about people is why you are able to approach Christmas in this way Matthew. Thank you.
I have been one to withdraw from life. Christmas always felt like too much. I understand now that i withdrew from life, because it was overwhelming. Serge Benhayon has helped me understand that withdrawing from life does not protect me from life. I need to express the real me. I have begun to connect with people, on a one to one basis, honoring my sensitivities. I keep Christmas simple and just focus on staying myself in all situations. It has allowed me to feel more connected to other people, which feels great!
I can’t say I have ever looked at Christmas from that angle before but it makes sense and now looking back at my experiences over the past weeks I can see that people were more willing to talk with people when the subject of plans and excitements that this time of year brings. It shows me that we are capable of engaging and talking with others when we want to, when we feel there is a common ground. And now I am reminded that we always have a ‘common ground’ and that is that we are all human beings throughout the year. Why wait until it gets to Christmas to become closer?
Lovely reminder Leigh, “we always have a ‘common ground’ and that is that we are all human beings throughout the year”. Why wait until it gets to Christmas to become closer.
‘We are capable of engaging and talking with others when we want to, when we feel there is a common ground. And now I am reminded that we always have a ‘common ground’ and that is that we are all human beings throughout the year’ – Amazing Leigh; and that’s something we could all really do with looking at… Why is it we wait until a certain event or time of year to bring the family/friends together and actually connect, why not do that throughout the entire year? As you said there is absolutely no instance where there is lack of common ground.
I too love this aspect of Christmas when people emerge from their cocoons and open up. I love how you take this as an opportunity to build on this connection. I’m inspired thank you.
A lovely simple message. I always love the openness that people seem to embrace around Christmas. Strangers I pass in the street will say ‘Merry Christmas’ when usually they would not say a word. Christmas represents a time of love and joy, and it is wonderful to witness people aspiring to that even for a short while.
Dear Matthew, thank you for you beautiful blog. Lovely to read how you make use of the opportunity to deepen your relationships with others. Like you write:
‘ I can continue from where the relationship reached and for that I’m very grateful.’
You build on what was established and keep that quality of connection also after Christmas. My feeling is we would have a different world if we would all do that. I feel inspired by what you wrote and will keep deepening my relationships with others (doesn’t matter if I know them or not) and allow myself to love people (because I do, I deeply love people) and let that feeling out.
Great point Monika, it doesn’t matter if you know people or not, we can still reach out and connect with who ever we meet on our daily path, for the bigger picture is we all belong and are part of the human family by the very fact we are walking here on earth.
I love your angle on the Christmas theme, Matthew. I have also in the past been one of the ones to get my head down and hide during this period because the craziness just seemed too much! Despite the indulgence this seasons offers it does bring an opportunity for opening up and a coming together. In my case I see family members that I may not get to visit at other times of the year and I have a deeper appreciation for this from your blog.
I love what you are sharing Matthew, thank you. Life is about people, not only around christmas, but every single day of the year. I can make that choice to connect, to say hello, how are you today, to give a smile, to give a hand or to ask how life is going for them. We can wait for others, but why not reach out first? Connecting with people is not something only for the December month, but all the months of the year.
Hi Mariette, I loved what you have written in your comment it made me stop and what came to mind was: Love is not just for Christmas its for Life.
Thank you for sharing Matthew – what a lovely way to view Christmas and make it all about people.
Matthew I love your perspective on the Christmas season. How lovely to make it all about people instead of getting caught up in all of the usual stress and hype that appears to be the ‘norm’ for many at this time of year. I’ve noticed too how more open some people are to chatting and this is a great opportunity like you say, to build relationships.
Thank you Matthew, I have also felt that Christmas is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with people, to allow people to be more open, and to take it from there, a new marker, it happens a lot, and it is great.
This is beautiful Matthew, so simple and great to read about a completely different way of being at Christmas, and as jacqmcfadden commented makes Christmas about people, ‘yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.’
Away from all the hype and stress many people realise Christmas is a time for relationships with families and friends. I love talking to new people all year and it is amazing how much more open everyone is at Christmas. I like how you see this as an opportunity post Christmas to hold and continue with these relationships rather than pull back and accept the game of withdrawal. Thank you, Matthew.
I agree Matthew, perhaps this is the true meaning of Christmas good will? – building relationships with all people we meet and then sustaining this level of connection for the rest of the year.
Andrew I love what you share ‘perhaps the true meaning of Christmas is good will? – build relationships with people we meet and sustain this level of connection with the rest of the world.’ Definitely feels a way forward, as when Christmas passes many become so gloom and doom and lose that connection. They say, just after Christmas the depression level increases, why is this? People loose the connection possibly?
I agree Amita, many seem to lose that connection after Christmas. In fact, I feel that many of us often don’t have the connection to ourselves in the first place, we get caught up in the hype and rah rah of Christmas and when it is all over there is nothing to “look forward” to …. (i.e. as soon as Christmas is over it’s often about joining the gym, healthy eating, booking the next holiday, starting a new hobby etc?) Even more reason to spread the joy and smiles around and ditch the doom and gloom………..!
I agree Andrew, building relationships with all people we meet and then sustaining this level of connection for the rest of the year – an opportunity for us all to celebrate every day. Inspirational article for us all, thanks Matthew.
This is superb Matthew and I’m going to take a leaf out of your book and take something positive out of the madness of Christmas and make an effort to connect with more people instead of being one of the ones too caught up in their own stuff.
What a great present to the people around all of us. Sharing with others is not just for Christmas.
Great article Mathew and a great approcah to Christmas as well. A great opportunity to reconnect with people.
Matthew, I love your article and the way you write it. I love how you describe how the time around Christmas can take us more away from ourselves, but also can bring us closer together and into a deeper connection to ourselves with one another.
This is a beautiful account of all the possibilities this time of the year present for us to connect with people. My family joke about my having a ‘have a chat gene’, as they call it, but I am never happier that when I am meeting up with people and enjoying their company. Life’s about people as far as I’m concerned and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Like you, I have found it definitely adds an extra serving of joy to the day whenever a moment of true connection with others occurs.
There are many people who are withdrawn, keep their distance from others and feel alone, (especially at Christmas time) and just don’t know how to reach out to others. Many times just a simple hello or smile, or a small comment like; ‘have a lovely Christmas holiday’, can make all the difference; ‘and for a brief moment they can be pulled up and out of the ramble of the day and offered another way’. I love how you make Christmas about People Matthew.
Yes it is a beautiful focus, I too have really felt this year that Christmas is about people and have let go of the craziness. Rather than sending cards I called people, which is a huge shift for me. And you are correct Jacq when you say that the smallest of comments can make such a big difference to people who don’t usually engage because of not knowing how to start a conversation.
That is a great way of connecting with people that are not close by. Thank you Rowena for sharing – I usually call family members, especially at celebration times as we are so far apart (in physical distance) however there is nothing in the way of connecting with others as well and hear each others voices and feel each others smiles.
Rowena, I love the tip you have shared about calling people instead of sending cards! I am inspired to connect and you have blown my lid on ‘how’ to do that! It can be emails, letters, phone-calls or in person!
Thank You!
So true Matthew this is what I have been finding at work too. Everyone has been talking about Christmas and what they are doing, who they are visiting, what they will eat, it has brought so many people together with a common interest. I never really liked or understood the craziness of Christmas, and was one of those that hid waiting for it to be over, but this year I enjoyed the connection with everyone that I met. Working in a supermarket I get to see the build up and how people begin to open up, and the conversation is around their families and friends. There is an underlying thread that everyone knows that December, and especially Christmas is a time for families, when everyone gets together and enjoys the festive season.
Matthew I really like the refreshing way you have looked at Christmas, as an opportunity to connect with others from your own initiative, rather than sitting back and waiting for others to do so. It’s a great lesson of brotherhood in action. Thanks…brother.
Yes thank you Rod for your lovely words. I must say I don’t really look forward to Christmas but you have inspired me to look at it in a different way and I shall certainly see it now as an opportunity for initiating and building relationships, rather than “sitting back and waiting for others to do so” …. in fact, why wait for Christmas, I’ll just start now, thank-you.
What a delightful slant on the superficial Christmas chatter that can happen in passing. Thank you for that.
I loved how you considered the behaviour of the various people around you with such love and understanding. And very inspiring that you show how every opportunity can be maximised to build loving relationships with people.
Well said Golnaz, ‘I loved how you considered the behaviour of the various people around you with such love and understanding. And very inspiring that you show how every opportunity can be maximised to build loving relationships with people.’ I too felt inspired by Matthews understanding that held no judgment of the people around him, only love.
Matthew I love the way you have taken the opportunity to build on those relationships that were opened by the other’s pre-Christmas comment or smile.
Definitely Rosanna, beautiful way to extend the ‘Christmas feeling’ for others in all other days of the year. Great blog Matthew.
I loved reading your Christmas blog Matthew, thank you. It is so true that Christmas creates opportunities to connect with others in a way we hadn’t perhaps done before. And once Christmas passes we don’t have to pack away those connections we have just made along with the tree and tinsel and wait until next year to create those moments again. We can choose to nurture them all year. Beautiful!
Yes Jane, in a cycle, so that by the time that the next Christmas comes around, our starting point will be more extended and deeper connections, and more, and a deeper willingness/ability to connect with those who open up at that time, and so on for every year thereafter.
Absolutely Michelle, this is it and it’s a shame that we would wait till Christmas to be more open and engaging as in truth we can live this way anytime of the year. I have great fun sparking up conversations on the bus or train and as I go for a walk.
I agree Jane, it is often put back to one side when the new year, work and life kicks back in, and yet it doesn’t have to be that way, and the enjoyment of people talking and being festive shouldn’t have to be secluded to christmas.
Hi Matthew, thank you for bringing such a lovely way at looking at Christmas. How beautiful to respond to this openness in others and taking it into the year, rather than just leaving this restricted to the month of December.
Definitely Esther, such a lovely opportunity, ‘the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.’ How wonderful.
“For those that gave me the extra smile, nod or extended themselves to make a passing comment or brief exchange before the break, I now have a point or marker that I feel allows me to continue with the relationship.” – I have found this too Matthew, people seem more open at this time of year.
I agree Natalie I too find people are more open this time of year.
I agree with you too Natalie and Amita…people do seem more open this time of year. But what I find sad, is when you see people being all jolly and merry leading up to Christmas. then once the holiday season is over they seem to go straight back into their rut. Why be jolly and merry only around Christmas time?
Yes that does seem to be the case, people do seem more open around Christmas, why is this? Is it because we have something to look forward to, or do we have an expectation around an event that it will momentarily lighten up our lives? I agree Jodie, why can’t it be like this all year around. It’s pretty constant nowadays, as soon as one “event” has passed there’s another one round the corner, it’s as if peoples lives are not fulfilling or complete enough without something “exciting” to focus on. I have learned, through the presentations of Universal Medicine, that if I choose to re-connect to my own love on the inside, I wouldn’t need the rah rah of the world to make my life complete.
Yes, it’s true. Perhaps there is also an expectation that the Christmas break will bring a much needed change. I have noticed that people desperately look forward to time off at Christmas – a break from the momentums and pressures of daily life. But, do we actually use this time to truly rejuvenate, rest, nurture and re-assess ourselves and the way we are living?
Or, is this time used to indulge, ‘break free’ and provide ourselves with relief and distraction from the exhaustion that may be there…. only to return to work to do it all again…?
Perhaps it is time to look at how we use our precious time off, and how we are living every day that leads to the shut down and exhaustion, where we don’t feel inclined to connect and enjoy being with ourselves or others. Perhaps Christmas does offer us this gift – time to come back to ourselves and make more loving choices.
“Or, is this time used to indulge, ‘break free’ and provide ourselves with relief and distraction from the exhaustion that may be there…. only to return to work to do it all again…?”, you make a very valid point here Kylie. How many times do we hear colleagues say that they could do with another day off when they return to work from a holiday, or the week-end, however much time they have off it never seems to be enough. Great point when you say that perhaps it is time to take stock of HOW we spend our time off and how we live our lives on a daily basis, and not living our lives looking forward to the next holiday or festive occasion to break the monotony.
Great point Jody. Christmas is associated with joy and it often feels like this is the time that people give themselves permission to bring this element into their lives. How amazing would it feel to make this connection every other day of the year.
It seems that there are certain times of the year when we let down our guard and let other people in and December/Christmas time is definitely one of those. I look forward to the day when we are all more like this (including myself) on a more regular basis. Matthew’s post I find very encouraging re the possibilities that are ahead.
Thank you Matthew for a refreshing new way to observe the holiday season.
I love this Matthew such a wonderful way to turn around the usual rah rah of christmas – holding everyone to account for the openness they naturally are – Effectively saying – You are like this so I will meet you at this point – a gentle pull up from a beautiful loving man – thank you for being so inspiring.
Oh so inspiring.
Christmas, births, marriages and deaths are all such a great opportunity to open up more deeply to family, which I have found can be very healing.
Agreed Abby, these events are a great marker as to the type of openness we can have, however why is it that it’s often only when there is a crisis or major event of some kind (be it traumatic or celebration) that we open up to healing when we can have this connection anytime of the year…
Lovely words Jane. Deep down we do love people – it makes me giggle (and scratch my head) when we go on about how annoyed we are by people when the reality is we love them. And we love connecting – Christmas shows that – it is just when it is so LOADED of expectations, unexpressed emotions and hurts – that it becomes cumbersome. When we keep it simple, and look at what we are bringing to the plate, it’s pretty awesome.