Just last week I shared an email conversation with a friend in which, amongst other things, I asked how they were, and in return they did the same. Normally part of me would say I am amazing, which I am, but I would never really be completely honest or truth-full. I would say a version of what I was feeling but hold back from sharing in full, or say what I thought I should be saying, what another wanted to hear, or feel that I had to be a certain way – in other words, I found it difficult just being me.
But there was something this morning that made me stop and ask myself: “how am I really feeling?” This gave me the space to really feel how I was, how my body was feeling, and not what my head was telling me I should feel. To my lovely surprise I wasn’t feeling flat or down, yes I was feeling physically tired, but with this I felt amazing, joyful and so lovely and delicate.
So rather than simply replying that I’m great or amazing, I thought, you know what, I am going to be completely honest and share in full how I’m really feeling. In doing so, this then allowed for me to open up to share how I was really feeling about everything else too, with no need for it – or myself – to be a certain way, and no need to worry about what another may think or say: it felt amazing! My body felt gentle, open and loving; there was no effort, tension or thinking, just the simplicity, honesty and loveliness of just being me and expressing in full.
The reply that came back simply confirmed that true blessings do happen every single day; it made me smile a huge heartfelt smile from inside out. My friend shared how it felt great to hear me talk about how I really am in full without hiding or holding back on what I really felt, and from that they opened up and shared in full how they were really feeling too.
It was simply beautiful just being me, and goes to show the true magic, beauty and openness that can be found when we choose to be completely honest and truth-full, sharing in full how we really are feeling, and with that it allows others to feel, be open and express how they really are feeling, in full too.
Inspired by the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
by Gyl Rae, Student and Waitress, Scotland
This was a great blog to read Gyl because I asked myself how was I feeling … a bit flat was the immediate response but when I stopped to feel deeper I could feel a steadiness and a flatness that life is now a flat line not up and down based on emotions or stresses of the day. And although this may sound weird its actually a lovely way to live as I am not governed by my emotions, overwhelm or stress. As my life used to be so up and down it felt like being on a roller coaster I thank Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for all the support I have been given to deepen my livingness so that life has evened out.
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“My body felt gentle, open and loving; there was no effort, tension or thinking, just the simplicity, honesty and loveliness of just being me and expressing in full.” It’s such a common thing to go into giving a rote answer and not pause to truly connect to ourselves and really say how we feel. Thanks for the inspiration Gyl to connect and express, and to let go of any trying and to just be myself.
Being open and honest opens us to deepen our relationship with everyone and then we can assuredly appreciate our most divine essences as we bring a forever deepening relationship with being honest.
When we are open and honest with ourselves we inspire others to equally be aware of how they are truly feeling.
I’m recently exploring being more spontaneous and transparent in my relationships and what I’m finding is that this is an invitation for others to be that as well… and it feels like a very freeing, expanding and real connection with them. Just being myself as I am at each moment. This is just amazing… and at the same time, the most natural and available thing we can do when relating with everyone.
We show each other how to be in life. Mostly non-verbally but energetically communicating that it’s ok to be raw and real and true or everything that is not the true us.
It is a very loving thing to give ourselves moments during the day to be honest with how we are feeling. We are so used to overriding what we feel that we even try to convince ourselves that everything is great and we have become masters at pretending.
It is never ever worth lying to ourselves. Ever. And I mean never ever. The harm and delayment of our evolution that results is never worth it. Ever.
The magic in being open is that it allows us and others to be truly transparent about where we are at which is an awesome confirmation and celebration for all.
Being completely honest always starts with self, when we are honest with ourself, how we truly feel, then we can share this with others.
The foundation of true expression is honesty and this is a great place to start.
The more we get real and honest about how we’ve been living our lives, the richer and more expansive life feels. Not being honest with ourselves about our own choices makes it near-impossible to move forward, because it means we’re not willing to see or take full responsibility for our choices and their consequences – and if we’re not willing to do that, there’s no learning, because we’re stuck in the arrogance of thinking we’re ‘right’ and don’t need to change.
I like what you share here Bryony, if we are not honest with ourselves, the choices we make and the consequences of these then we stay stuck in the same old patterns, ‘it means we’re not willing to see or take full responsibility for our choices and their consequences – and if we’re not willing to do that, there’s no learning, because we’re stuck in the arrogance of thinking we’re ‘right’ and don’t need to change.’
And being honest allows us to express and grow. When we or another choses to remain stuck it really stands out and becomes a drain.
It’s like we had to relearn how to be honest… To express with that deep commitment to truth
It’s amazing what doors open when we start to be completely honest.
Expressing how we feel is revitalising and rejuvenating, and as I write this now, I feel that is because our bodies light up when we connect to another on an energetic level. When we hold back, settle for surface, polite and nice conversations, it feels incredibly draining and numbing, because it’s like we’re using an enormous amount of force to either block the connection that we so naturally, effortlessly feel, with others, or to not feel the lack of connection. This lack of connection happens not because we are not all naturally connected, because we are, but because of all of the layers, like protection, not wanting to feel vulnerable etc, that we put over the top of that natural connection.
Just being able to stop is an enormous boon… I had privilege of teaching at a supposedly very rough high school recently… Hundred and 50 kids ranging from years 7 to 12, were able to be all of them, in stillness… It was amazing feeling. one of the teachers commented that it felt so normal!
I realise that I am more okay to share when I am not doing well with others but when I am doing well I hold this back because I don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable. I am learning that this just caps myself and also robs others of an important reflection.
Recognising this pattern too and my discomfort with how others may react if I share how amazing I am feeling.
‘My body felt gentle, open and loving; there was no effort, tension or thinking, just the simplicity, honesty and loveliness of just being me and expressing in full.’ And there is nothing else our body wants more expressing of what lives inside.
When we are honest with ourselves we are not trying to fool anyone and this allows everyone else to do the same.
The more we surrender to honesty and being ourselves we then often give others the permission to feel the same through our actions and words. What a gift to the world and a marker of our global responsibility.
It is so gorgeous to just be ourselves and most people really enjoy it too as it gives them permission to be their gorgeous selves. Makes it even crazier how often we are not ourselves and how exhausting and silly it is to try and be anyone else!!!
Holding back our true reflection is never going to serve us or anyone else, so let all we are be in all we do so the love we are is fully expressed.
‘I would say a version of what I was feeling but hold back from sharing in full, or say what I thought I should be saying, what another wanted to hear, or feel that I had to be a certain way – in other words, I found it difficult just being me.’ Reading this sentence explains the complexity we go into when we all don’t share the truth of who we are. We have build a complete society build around this, how exhausting to feel.
The deliverance of being all that we are is a gift to the world, through which inspiration is offered as we reflect the light of who we all are in essence, that which we are here to live.
Seems like a great recipe for relationships you have shared here Gyl. The funny thing about not expressing how we feel in full detail is that we are afraid to expose some weakness or failure but the reality is everyone else is experiencing the same feelings!
For so many people, simply knowing how they truly feel is a very big step.
So very true Chris, and it is very supportive and inspiring for us when we see in others that feeling, honoring and expressing our truth, is actually very natural and liberating for us.
This evening when my husband and I were walking together, I could feel a contentment in myself and it felt awesome to share and feel that my whole day was one of letting go of control and instead let my day unfold, very simple and it opened me up to be more of who I am.
When we express how we truly are, it opens up conversational pathways that for most people, are never walked down.
Thank you Gyl. I very much feel how I choose to be distracted more than to express how I feel. I blame the distraction to not express how I feel when I choose to leave myself first. Choosing to leave myself is not appreciating how much love I feel, and have not expressed.
So often we put up a fascade of how we are, even to ourselves, we don’t often stop enough to clock how we are really feeling about things, so when someone does ask, sometimes we may not even be fully aware ourselves. I know when people first started asking me how I felt, I didn’t know as I had denied my own feelings for so long.
When I connect with my body and not what my head thinks is going on it can be a lovely surprise. It can also be a moment to clock how I’ve let myself bring in anxiety because I wasn’t connected with myself. The key for me is to stay with my body and trust it’s ability to restore harmony.
Allowing people to truly see you by being honest, invites others in to do the same and seems to result in more intimacy naturally. Obviously, it does not mean we spill our guts to everyone we meet but it does mean we move in a way that is honest with everyone we meet. If we are feeling cheeky, make a joke, if your feeling sensitive, move with extra care. When I say move, this movement might be the way that you are typing or the way we you are standing or speaking on the phones, honesty is not always words, it can be action and stillness too.
Yes, honesty to me is not something I do, but the way I am with myself: am I listening to what I need, to what’s needed, or overriding it and going with ideas and pictures of what I think or have already decided is needed, without connecting first?
Thanks to Universal Medicine I feel so much more at ease in being honest with what I am feeling. It allows conversations to be far richer and deeper rather than flitting around the surface of “I am fine thank, you?” Or moaning or talking about the weather.
Yay to not holding back Gyl and in this allowing others to express where they really are as well. Thus we all get to feel what is true – we are all feeling it anyway but most of the time not receiving that confirmation which leaves an unsettlement in the body and the contraction of holding back from expressing what is true for us in that moment.
To be ourselves, is actually the most beautiful gift that we can give to anyone, including ourselves.
Yes, I’ve loved receiving the absolute truth from another because I instantly feel safe to be the same, to also share how I feel and not be concerned about judgement etc. It makes perfect sense that we bounce off each other, but the quality we are bouncing off or reflecting is what makes all the difference. Do we hold back, which is basically telling the other person that they better not be all of them either or it will create conflict, or do we let others in and be all of who we are, therefore inspiring the other to do the same? I’ve been playing with this one for some time…and I can see what works best, very clearly.
It’s amazing how if we are really honest it gives another person permission to be honest too – and vice versa.
We come from truth and being honest and truthful is who we are and expressing this way allows us to be who we are.
When we hold ourselves back from simply being ourselves it is literally like living with a hand brake on.
Honesty is definitely the best policy and not only does it offer transparency and intimacy to ourselves but when we share it this way it allows other’s the same opportunity. Being open and honest really does change the dynamic of all our relationships for the better and our bodies love it too.
It was great to come back and read this blog again, and to stop and appreciate that the open, honest and expressive we are the more we allow the space for others to be the same. Over the last year as I have worked on my own openness in expression I have seen the ripple effects with the people around.
We are all deeply sensitive beings. When someone is open and honest with us or if they are guarded and want us to back off we can feel it. Nothing as gorgeous as someone in front of us that is willing to be open transparent and share what they feel with honesty, as it invites us to also be open, connect and be honest with ourselves as well as with them.
Shirley-Anne it may be more so that it’s we ourselves who are not comfortable to be real and transparent with others regardless of whether another may be open or not.
You nailed it Gyl when you said we feel we have to be a certain way, to say what we think others expect to hear instead of being ourselves and honestly sharing the whole picture. We hold pictures about how we expect ourselves to be instead of simply being real. I’m not sure when we all decided the real version of ourselves was not enough, but that’s what’s going on in life. To simply be ourselves is now something we have to learn through practise, it doesn’t make sense does it?
Interesting that sometimes to the question “How are you the reply comes back ‘ Do you really want to know?’ AS if it is only permissible to be well and doing fine and anything less is not what the other person wants to hear and thus not recommended to share.
“goes to show the true magic, beauty and openness that can be found when we choose to be completely honest and truth-full, sharing in full how we really are feeling, and with that it allows others to feel, be open and express how they really are feeling, in full too.” yes it only takes for us to make that first step and that opens up others to do the same.
Beautiful Gyl, the simplicity of power is found in open, honesty and truth. With these as our foundation we are enormously powerful and the joy is we don’t even have to ‘do’ anything, just tune in, be where we are and choose the next step.
Absolutely when we are open, honest, truthful we are transparent too, everything just flows through us, the joy and power, there is no trying.
This is a golden sharing Gyl – for in every word the Joy can be felt, in allowing yourself to be and bring all of you to another.
Magic can indeed occur in our relationships when we give our all.
Honesty with ourselves and expressing this honestly with another opens the door for them to respond with with equal honesty.
This is something I do my best to practice as often as I can. There are days when I definitely hold back and just respond with ‘good’, to avoid talking about how I actually feel. this usually happens if I create a story about believing the other person will not be interested in what I have to say, or if I’ve felt that the person is asking me how I am just as a default greeting, and at that point I usually am dismissive and feel that that person doesn’t deserve me to be myself in full. This latter feeling is what perpetuates the empty ‘how are you’. If I took the time to actually answer the question truthfully every time I was asked that, I bet it would help people consider whether they actually want to know how I am or not in future, allowing them the opportunity to be more real and honest with themselves. Being who we are and not holding back is a win win with everyone involved. Can take some lifelong practice though, but life is practice, so may as well incorporate it.
A beautiful sharing Gyl, it is so automatic when someone asks ‘how are you’ to reply with a ‘well thank you’, I often did this as I felt the person wasn’t really interested in really knowing, or myself interested in really knowing. These days as I lovingly learn to connect to my body more and allow what it is feeling to be okay, I can now more honestly express what I am feeling and it is so beautiful when this allows another to then honestly express also.
I love this part about knowing that you are amazing, and yes your body can feel tired but essentially you are still you and you are amazing. This gives rise to the fact that we are beings inside bodies, and the beings we are, are stupendous by their light – as is exemplified by you in this blog.
We think it is easy to reply to someone with a stock answer or generality but we are doing a disservice not only to ourselves but to the other person too. And this easy is putting yet another layer on top of all the others that are hiding the truth of who we are. Allowing space to share how we are truly feeling then allows for healing and a deeper level of relationship.
You know what I am still working on this, and that’s not a bad thing. I feel we can often give ourselves a hard time for everything we are not doing, instead of appreciating everything we are and are already doing. For me it’s never ending in being more honest, open and truthful in my expressing – it might not always go down too well, but I cannot control how another responds and maybe someone reacting isn’t such a bad thing. I do know it’s worse to hold back and not say what you really feel.
When we lead the way to a deeper level we offer another a safe platform to surrender to.
I used to be one who answered ‘I’m fine’ when asked how I was, all the while feeling my long suffering body grumbling, ‘no I’m not’. But now that I have come to realise how much denying how I am feeling impacts on my precious body I choose to answer honestly. It takes people aback at times but then you can see them realising that they have been offered the opportunity to share exactly how they feel and you can almost hear their body take a great big sigh of relief.
Same here Ingrid, I would never truly share how I was and after that there was a time I thought I was honest but it was more a sharing of what I wanted to believe was the truth, a story from my head. Nowadays there is an openness that comes from my body and I am sure my body has taken a big sigh of relief too.
So often we wear a mask and don’t really let others know how we are feeling. It is cool that you opened up in this way that then allowed another to do the same.
it does sound so simple doesn’t it ? just being ourselves… And yet this seems to be so much in our way and so many concepts and old paradigms… What we need is a bridge literally back to ourselves, and this is what the ancient wisdom brings us
Yes it is weird how much effort we put into being and expressing what we are not (which is exhausting) when there is so much magic and joy in simply being and expressing who we truly are.
Honesty is the gate-way to truth, and in truth we are all connected and equal to the same source – Love.
“It was simply beautiful just being me, and goes to show the true magic, beauty and openness that can be found when we choose to be completely honest and truth-full, sharing in full how we really are feeling, and with that it allows others to feel, be open and express how they really are feeling, in full too.” This is magical to read Gyl in the freedom and joy can be felt of this honesty and a great reflection thank you .
Just saying that we are amazing, good or anything in that line, can also serve as wall of protection. To not show our vulnerability, how we are truly doing. Lovely but tired, for example.
It is great to share truly how we are feeling even if in that moment we are not great or fine…as you say Gyl it does allow room for another to be equally open and frank too.
So often we don’t notice or really stop to listen how another is feeling and also people like you say, hold back how they are feeling. I was recently observing a group of children and while adults came along and spoke with them- they didn’t fully stop and connect with them and go deeper- they just allowed the surface level conversations and you could see the kids wanted and needed more.
Awesome Gyl. Expressing in full is great to do and to receive. If we don’t it can be easily felt and it may feel like we do not like the other person even though we did not express to ‘not bother them’. Such a silly game!
It can feel like at times that it’s hard to just come out and say how you feel about something and not make it personal, but I can see that it’s not about the actual scenario as such, but about feeling the tension/discomfort, calling it out and coming back to the body and feeling what is true. This allows the space to feel how amazing you actually were before the situation happened, so nothing has changed within you, just outside of you, and expressing in that moment is part of you simply honouring you.