Each year catalogues, TV and press remind us how great our dads are, and that the one day of the year to really celebrate this is Father’s Day. But what do these messages really tell us about the beauty of men and what it is to be a man?
If we came from another planet and looked at the media around how we celebrate Father’s Day we would assume that men love to:
- fish
- work on cars
- have lots of tools
- spend time and money in hardware stores
- drink beer and brew it at home
- do anything associated with BBQs
- play or watch football
- play or watch sports of any kind
- play with gadgets
- use an X-box
- read and watch thrillers, comedy and action stories
- escape the grind, get away from it all (for some this also includes getting away from the family)
- dress trendy or sporty
- drink
- eat meat.
So what does all this say about what it is to be a man? What if you are a man who loves to:
- be pampered
- buy his own clothes (including socks and jocks)
- drive a car but not be married to it
- go to the ballet
- watch romance movies
- have a bath
- spend time with the family, truly enjoying being with them
- dress up
- go walking?
Would enjoying these things risk torment, rejection or being considered unmanly or just weird?
Is it possible that the narrowness of what we are ‘told’ men are like limits all of us? How much do men bend to fit this mould, and how much do we miss out on when they do?
Imagine if Father’s Day celebrated the true beauty of men?
What if we considered more deeply what it is to be a man – beyond the rough, rugged, outdoors stereotype, or the beer drinking, car loving bloke, the gadget guy or the sophisticated executive roles we’ve all been fed – and appreciated instead the innate delicateness, sensitivity and beauty of men?
It could unfold into the kind of Father’s Day where we acknowledged and treasured the tenderness of men and enjoyed all that came from men being allowed to be and share their beauty.
Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
By Adrienne Ryan & Peta Schaffer, Daughters, Queensland, Australia
350 Comments
Stereotypes are so restricting and men, whether biological fathers or not, deserve to be celebrated for their amazingness rather than for conforming to a role.
This exposes the narrow field men have to play in. Agree it needs to be widened.
Love and appreciating what we all bring is something that should not be set aside for a rainy-day but is a consistency that transforms all our relationships when we live everyday as people or humanity day.
This year I got my father an amazing colorful bouquet of flowers for Father’s Day and he loved it. I got the inspiration when I bought my partner flowers to welcome him in the Netherlands and he sighed: that is the first time someone bought me flowers. Of course men love flowers and many other things we would consider normal to give to a woman. Let’s not buy into any of this narrow pictures that men are supposed to live by and see them all for the super sensitive and tender beings that they are, just like when they were little boys.
How much have any of us bent to fit a mould is a good question and highlights areas where we might need to adjust our behaviour. Just last night I realise that I allowed someone to talk at me rather than to me. It is a blessing for both parties when either speaks up to cut the harming energy and bring back the connection in the relationship that has been lost. This I did and harmony was restored but I also recognise that this could have been done much sooner.
Celebrating men can be an everyday thing . If it is they start to see that they are appreciated for who they are not what they do. I know men who love being tender, taking a nap, having a bath, and I would not swap it for anything, This sensitivity asks me to go deeper in myself as a woman.
Yes, we all deserve being appreciated for who we are and not what we do, ‘and appreciated instead the innate delicateness, sensitivity and beauty of men?’
Yes HM a gorgeous sharing and invitation that when meeting men for who they are they instantly invite us to be who we truly are as women and visa versa.
And what if we were to celebrate all men everyday as some are not fathers then this would also transfer across to mothers day or womens-day where women are celebrated every day now that would deepen our appreciation of the Tender and Sacred Beings we all are.
Great idea, Greg. Let’s celebrate each other and ourselves daily and also have Christmas daily in the sense that we connect with each other, have amazing conversations during diner and use our beautiful plates and cutlery.
In celebrating Father’s Day by appreciating the tender, sacred, sensitive and loving qualities that men in our lives (and all men) naturally hold within, is to truly honor men for who they are and what they bring to the world.
So true Carola maybe we can reschedule these days that cause separation and call every day appreciation of who we are days!
I’ve always strongly disliked how greeting cards portray both men and women, it’s so incredibly shallow and so disrespectful to the innately sensitive and sweet nature of both men and women. Why not celebrate people – rather than insult them?