Each year catalogues, TV and press remind us how great our dads are, and that the one day of the year to really celebrate this is Father’s Day. But what do these messages really tell us about the beauty of men and what it is to be a man?
If we came from another planet and looked at the media around how we celebrate Father’s Day we would assume that men love to:
- fish
- work on cars
- have lots of tools
- spend time and money in hardware stores
- drink beer and brew it at home
- do anything associated with BBQs
- play or watch football
- play or watch sports of any kind
- play with gadgets
- use an X-box
- read and watch thrillers, comedy and action stories
- escape the grind, get away from it all (for some this also includes getting away from the family)
- dress trendy or sporty
- drink
- eat meat.
So what does all this say about what it is to be a man? What if you are a man who loves to:
- be pampered
- buy his own clothes (including socks and jocks)
- drive a car but not be married to it
- go to the ballet
- watch romance movies
- have a bath
- spend time with the family, truly enjoying being with them
- dress up
- go walking?
Would enjoying these things risk torment, rejection or being considered unmanly or just weird?
Is it possible that the narrowness of what we are ‘told’ men are like limits all of us? How much do men bend to fit this mould, and how much do we miss out on when they do?
Imagine if Father’s Day celebrated the true beauty of men?
What if we considered more deeply what it is to be a man – beyond the rough, rugged, outdoors stereotype, or the beer drinking, car loving bloke, the gadget guy or the sophisticated executive roles we’ve all been fed – and appreciated instead the innate delicateness, sensitivity and beauty of men?
It could unfold into the kind of Father’s Day where we acknowledged and treasured the tenderness of men and enjoyed all that came from men being allowed to be and share their beauty.
Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
By Adrienne Ryan & Peta Schaffer, Daughters, Queensland, Australia
337 Comments
This is such an important point that we need to address as a society – why do we celebrate men for the list of things that they do (that you have so clearly written down), instead of for their true beauty? What I feel is also important is making this a DAILY CELEBRATION, not necessarily an ANNUAL one – if this were the case, what would humanity look like?
I visited my dad in hospital today. He was feeling a bit fed up as he’s been in there for a couple of weeks. I tenderly applied some Esoteric Massage cream to his face and he said that it made him feel better.
You’ve presented so aptly how we all – men and women – get caught and ‘reduced’ by media stereotyping in order to fit in. That Fathers’ Day should itself be celebrated and embraced every day rather than just one day a year is another story, but your list of the reality of the narrowness that is provided as the expression playground for men on that day is a reminder of how divisive this can be to men feeling comfortable with their own essence. I always struggle to find a birthday card for a man – brother, father, lover, boss, friend, nephew – because they are all living so much more than the two dimensional cartoon characters presented in the options available. Time to expand the greetings card range for the male of the species and bring a more balanced, truthful and representative range of options. This will only happen when we begin to recognise and accept men for who they truly are and the benefits of the natural essence they bring.
I loved the expression of this blog, Adrienne and Peta. The images we see on Father’s day cards is exactly as you have described, beer drinking, golf and car enthusiasts etc. It’s like we have created a straight jacket of how men should be and behave. Imagine if we celebrated men and dads for their natural, tender ways, how much it would liberate men from trying to fit into a mould. As a result how it would liberate women from trying to compete with men and out do them, thereby bringing ourselves back to our innate essence too.
It is such a joy through the inspiration of Serge, Michael and Curtis Benhayon and the many men of Universal Medicine to now have connected with my tenderness and no longer feel I have to hide and suppress my true nature.
I am going to be bold and daring and say that I am a real tender and delicate man who also loves a really fine quality tool set too!
Yeah Matts! That’s so bold.
Thank you Adrienne and Peta. It seems so obvious that we should celebrate every aspect of a man not just the masculine ones…..and yet the way things are set up we are continually encouraged to almost only celebrate the masculine side. I love how you have shown the way that you appreciate the honouring of your “innate delicateness, sensitivity and beauty”. I know how precious and exquisite it feels to meet this tenderness in a man and welcome it wholeheartedly. The allowing and acceptance of this I feel could literally change the world.
Hi Adrienne and Peta, thank you for this great article, for me it really opens up the discussion about what expectations are placed on to men.
Fathers and men should be celebrated every day, not just on a commercially contrived ‘Father’s Day’. A man feeling the freedom to express his true tenderness is something to be celebrated and shared.
I have just imagined all “Father’s Days from now on celebrating the true beauty of men”. I love it, bring it on, the sooner the better. However, I know it is also up to me to do my part in allowing the men I meet to see and feel their true beauty.
Thank you for sharing. This quote stood out for me “Is it possible that the narrowness of what we are ‘told’ men are like limits all of us?” Yes, I feel it does limit the whole of society to put men or anyone else in a box, rather allowing all of us to express ourselves as we wish. Seeing those father day cards once a year, just seems ridiculous to me, my husband and father of two children will never fit in such a narrow criteria, and if we are honest no man would. It is a means of control to dictate what a person likes and should be interested in. Lovely exposure and an important topic to discuss.
Gosh we really do put men into a box. When reading the first list, I actually thought, ‘well most men do like those things’, but I guess that is an assumption and stereotype, and shows that I’ve been putting the lid on that box and really missing out on a whole lot of other lovely stuff.
For me it is about being true. I do like lots of tools and B-b-qs – I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, in fact the first list has been me most of my life. I also love flowers the look and smell and I agree with Matts I quite often like the colours and styles of female clothes and would wear them if they suited me. I’m becoming more tender but can still blow my stack. Tenderness and expression are my tools of the moment to bring on my delicateness but for me it’s a working progress.
This is such a sweet blog. Reading through your two lists of what men like I could feel the rigidity and inflexibility in the first one and then sweet relief and gorgeousness in the second. The beliefs we hold about how men should be are so restricting they feel painful. The men that I know who have expanded beyond these boundaries are living proof of the true beauty that men hold and can express, and that they do not have to align to all the usual presumptions and expectations. True freedom indeed!
Someone told me a really interesting story the other day. He works in a restaurant. Mother’s Day – the place is crammed full. Father’s Day – empty. It is up to us, as men and/or fathers to claim ourselves, claim the celebration of ourselves, claim the fact that we are worth a dinner out, claim that we are worth treating. The more we do that, the more women will see our natural tenderness and fragility and the more they are then free to express their own. And so it goes on. Everyone shedding all these imposed suits of armour or protection and everyone returning to their true expression. And my friend’s restaurant being very busy!
Awesome sharing Otto! I had a visit today by a man selling alarms and he was so unimposing in his manners and I told him so. Just being that honest and sharing with another man is so liberating and freeing. We spent at least an hour chatting about how important it is to meet people and how uncomfortable it is when ‘salesmen’ try to sell you something just to get the deal through. We said good bye with a smile on our faces and when it’s time to install an alarm I know who to go to.
Here’s to their restaurant being jam packed on Father’s Day Otto. It really is time that men claimed that they are indeed worth celebrating. To drop the stoic armour and feel fragility and tenderness. What a beautiful day it will be.
Wow Otto, something I have never considered, but definitely will now xx
I agree 100% Otto!
It’s an inspiring thought that men could be celebrated for just being them – not celebrated for what they do or the hobbies they have… Thank you for sharing Adrienne and Peta.
How have we given such sensitive men idealistics based on what some men like to do in their spare time, which is fine, but why do most men have to be associated with these. This is unfair to men as they get little say, otherwise they would be called un-manly or dis-missed by their friends who know no better. Thank you for sharing this amazing blog.
So true Ben. It’s like a one size fits all which is just so limiting and untrue.
Thank you Adrienne and Peta. I have always felt how restrictive and narrow the accepted male expression is. I grew up with a very gentle and sensitive Dad who didn’t buy into the male stereotype at all. He wasn’t into cars, DIY or fishing. I remember as a child that he would cry very easily tears of joy and sadness and really didn’t try to hold them back.
I remember as I grew up and entered the wider world being quite confused at how men were. I was met with qualities that were very different to the sensitivity I was used to. I realise now that I very much withdrew from men from an early age. Through meeting Serge Benhayon and the fellow male Universal Medicne Students I can now see how accessible men’s tenderness and sensitivity are. I feel as women we have a responsibility in letting go of the stereotypical roles and expectations we place on men and allow their tenderness and sensitivity to shine.
I feel we all have a responsibility to let go of the stereotypes and allow men and each other to be so much more than the restrictive constructs that have been created. It’s so great that there are men out there who do not conform and who show us that there are alternative ways to be, like your dad.
Men are naturally tender and sensitive, all we have to do as women is give them the space to connect to that part of them, a part that has been denied by the ideals and beliefs that are put upon them from an early age. I love to be in the company of men connecting to their innate natural tenderness, it is a magical moment, I can feel all their natural strength without any of the bravado and it is a joy to be with them.
One of the things that comes to mind reading the article and the comments is that we sometimes think that the woman is the one who’s got it in terms of looking after her self, being open with what she feels and this is true generally speaking but what I’ve observed with some women, is that they tend to get more and more into the male driven way and almost becoming more male than us men. So in a sense I wouldn’t actually look at women in general as how we men could or should be in our lives but just listen to that innateness we have in us all. So many times when I meet other men I can see how delicate and sensitive they are and it seems like it’s just a breath away from being there and lived, but sometimes there is something that holds us back from really expressing and embodying that, and I guess that is something that both women and men are working on – letting that inner quality just be without worrying about it being right or not.
Love It Matts!
So true Matts. It is definitely not exclusive to men to hold back tenderness and expression. I love what you say in terms of finding our own way, to not mimic or copy another but connect to our own innate delicate quality.
Yes we are quite alike on the inside aren’t we! That’s what I like about not genderising things.
Absolutely! Amazing blog! We have stereotyped men to be so far away from their natural and tender essence. Men are equally beautiful, sweet and tender as women – why do we not truly celebrate them for who they are? And why do we as a society not even allow them the grace of that?
Very true Meg, ‘we have stereotyped men to be so far away from their natural and tender essence. Men are equally beautiful, sweet and tender as women.’
Beautiful Adrienne and Peta, how amazing it would be if we had adverts encouraging us to buy for our fathers beautiful bubble baths, gorgeous body creams and scents to celebrate their own tenderness? They can still go fishing and fix things, if that’s what they love – it’s just we shouldn’t say that’s all there is to them, for they are so much more.
I love your comment Matts, I would definitely love to see men ‘unleash that gorgeousness we are without feeling that its a bad thing’. I would support and celebrate this. I notice when shopping for clothes for my little boy that the girls section is usually twice as big as the boys, the clothes are much more pretty and sparkly and sweet for the girls and for the boys the clothes are usually blue, grey or brown and they look tough, often with army patterns or a skull and cross bone on.
Love what you are saying about clothes Matts (would it be too honest of me to admit that I have a couple of very colourful skirts!!??). But, it is so true about children’s clothes. My daughter has all these sparkly trainers and boots and I can see my youngest son looking rather confused and disappointed at the racks of shoes that are ‘meant for boys’. You only have to go into the kids clothes section of a department store to see how imposing and rigid the gender stereotypes are. And the huge big signs; “Boys”, “Girls”. Even for the toddlers. At that age, they have no idea…they are just beautiful bundles of playful expression that is certainly not limited to the narrow confines of pink and blue. That is what we, as adults, impose on them and have had imposed on us. Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was no sectioning off. If all the boys and girls clothes were together. That would be delicious. Everyone free to express as they want to.
Feels like we’re onto something here Otto! Imagine there being no boys or girls section or man / woman… Could we dare say there would be a tiny situation of confusion…? It would so display how we put out there for something else to dictate how men, women, boys and girls should look like. And also how we let that happen. Then we think that boys like this and girls like that when most of it is conditioned from pretty much birth. As you say Otto, they are beautiful bundles of joy and should be allowed for that to be expressed. And that might make us consider that how we are and our expression doesn’t necessarily come from our genes, or our jeans for that matter, but how we feel ourselves to be from within. I feel that is something really important to make room for.
Otto, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been in a shop and admired an item, loved the colour, considered trying it on, and then realised it’s for women and I’m standing in the women’s section 🙂 I also have a colourful skirt, but it’s called a Kilt where I come from.
Love it Stephen, let’s go for it I’d say. Women would most probably love the presence of a beautiful man.
Yepp, happens to me all the time when I am in a clothes shop, simply drawn to the more tender and lighter colours in the women´s section. My wife recently bought a pair of men sneakers as they were offered for women as well, the other way round not so easy with the size, but maybe one day.
It would not only be great to have the choice but to absolutely not being imposed by any stereotype that especially for men often comes with some sort of aggression expressed by style, colour etc suggesting adventure, control, freedom, independence, action or else – the product making you the man (image) you want to present as a form of identification that usually is nothing more than protection.
I love what you are sharing here, Matts and Otto. My son is also very fond of fluffy and tender feeling materials. It feels there is a restriction of the true beauty boys and men have to not allow them to express that in their clothes as well. And yes, girls and women are waiting for real men to show themselves to the world.
I love this thread and can only feel: of course men love soft and fluffy things too, they have sensitive skins, tender fingertips just like women do. And I absolutely love the idea of getting rid of the boys and girls sections. Make every design in a boy and a girls fitting and if the parents stay out of it Im sure we would see the most amazing expressions from kids.
Hi Kathie, I was about to say don’ get me started on designs and clothes… So many times I wondered why men’s models and colors are generally not as colorful and well designed as women’s, especially when it comes to shoes. The women’s models are usually more detailed and seems to be made with more effort into making them something that supports them, especially the winter models with all that fluffy things inside, I’m quite jealous of that. If you women start asking for bigger sizes on ladies shoes they might start producing them, then we men can browse around the women’s section as well. I’d go for UK size 9 or 43 1/3. Talking about clothes I am actually just wearing a warm fluffy hoodie bought in the women’s department. I hesitated for a short bit when I saw that it was a woman’s model but it was too good to not be bought. So it’s definitely time for us men to unleash that gorgeousness we are without feeling that it’s a bad thing. Women are dying for us to show it off without holding back, isn’t that true ladies? And I’m in a great place to say that since it seems to be mostly women writing and commenting in this blog… so far anyways.
Thanks Matts you have prompted me to ponder on the differences in men’s and women’s clothing. If occurs to me looking at children’s clothes that girls have a choice of dresses or trousers in any colour including blue. Just trousers for the boys and certainly no pink.
Then it goes further, I realise that if I meet a parent with a baby I automatically assume the gender based on the colour the baby is wearing. I wonder at what age it does become acceptance for males to wear pink.
My immediate reaction to your comments about texture was that men need ‘hard wearing’ garments. Hmmm!
I look forward to seeing you in your new hoodie, because, yes, Matts, as a female, I am delighted to experience you unleash your gorgeousness as a male.
Wow – I know how deeply touching it is to be truly acknowledged and treasured for the tenderness I myself as a man can and do bring. To transpose this into Fathers day would be ground breaking, it would give men everywhere license to show their true tender caring side, one which many have hidden from the world fearing rejection or humiliation. Men get confused as we are asked to be tough and strong out in the world, to not show our feelings yet we are also expected to be tender at home – not celebrated for it. By slowly acknowledging and treasuring men’s tenderness the world will, and is, changing – babies are one of the best at allowing men to show this exquisite side, we love it and slowly men are showing more of it in everyday life, rather than trying to live up to the macho image.
James you have expressed for me what I wished to say. It will be amazing when Father’s Day does celebrate our tenderness.
Yes James, put a man and a baby together and the result is tenderness. It is beautiful to watch a man leave behind his tough exterior to hold the little creature with care, love and gentleness. But society dictates that he be strong and macho to protect and raise this baby. How confusing it must be.
As I read through your list of assumptions about men Adrienne it reminded me of the designs chosen for men’s greetings cards and the striking difference for those for women’s…and yes it is even there in the boys’ and girls’ section.
Here’s to the creation of a whole new genre that celebrates the appreciation that I, and other female contributors have expressed here, have for the beauty~filled tenderness that Serge Benhayon has inspired so many men to claim.
Hmm, you ask a very interesting question, and one which has left me questioning what expectations I have placed on men….asking myself have I really been open to men being their true tender selves, or at times was it more comfortable for me if men conformed to the stereotype? It is so often the case that women bemoan what society expects of them, and so I cringe a bit as I realise the part that I unwittingly played in doing exactly the same where men are concerned. Having read your blog it is easier to see this from a bigger picture, almost as if it is a cruel joke that has been played on both men and women, leaving each unable to fully appreciate the qualities of the other, and somehow almost battling unnecessarily against each other.
So true Catherine, I also feel everything you say and find it a cruel joke that pushes men and women to ignore their own inner knowing of what is right for them, and has them act as is prescribed and expected of them. In effect men and women end up as a caricature version of themselves. And yes I too have been an unwitting part. Thanks to conversations such as this that facilitate honesty and understanding, we have the possibility to see our part in all of this and be inspired to make a different choice,
I feel a long awaited coming home reading your comment Catherine. A coming home for men and women to have true relationships without the clouding of old expectations.
Yes I agree Catherine, how often do we as women expect men to fall into a certain way of being that suits our needs. As you rightly say, as women we bemoan when this happens to us, yet we unwittingly impose similar stereotype beliefs onto men, and then wonder why we are missing out on their tender, gentle qualities that are naturally there, if we were but to allow it.
I completely agree with you here, how can we expect things to change coming to us if we don’t change how we are towards them? Not just between genders but everyone, including ourselves. If I hold onto this picture or mould of my dad (or men in general) of being x,y,z I don’t allow myself to see all the rest or in fact, the reality that is there being rejected because it can’t and won’t fit into that mould.
What a great discussion this is and yes we have been as much a part of the whole gender bastardisation as men have been. Both genders have given in to roles, beliefs, pictures and expactations and we have set a wheel in motion that for some may seem impossible to stop or change course. But I have seen first hand what happens when both men and women rerun to their natural tenderness and sensitivity and then share it with each other. It is the most beautiful thing on earth. All we can do is take responsibility for how we live and approach others, but every choice we make differently from that old paradigm changes the course of that wheel.
Thank you for a really beautiful and exposing article. I know that for so many men, they seem to have a set of can and can’t do’s based on what society thinks is and isn’t manly. For me reading the article, when I read about men having baths, a part of my mind went, “that’s weird” – which just shows how ingrained this stereotype is. I think you’re right in asking if this limits men.
I feel it limits us as long as we chose it to limit us, and if we start looking what we already have, those things that might have been demanding of us to be in a certain way no longer can, because we stop giving it the power to do so, and so we can become free.
Beautifully said Matts, I couldn’t agree more.
A beautiful blog thank you. Men are so much more than those stereotypes. Unfortunately at this point in our history mainstream society are stuck with an ideal of what it is to be a man and this ideal acts as poison to the man who is looking to find himself. Fortunately people are now waking up to these imposed ideas and looking within to find themselves. Your blog captures this beautifully, thank you.
I feel that in time we will say that the stereotype of a man is the one that loves himself as being tender, love filled and cares of himself and everyone else equally.
I agree Matts, more men are beginning to look after themselves and feeling the love and tenderness they are. It is just a matter of time, when this becomes a normal way of life for men.
Thank you for posing the question ‘Is it possible that the narrowness of what we are ‘told’ men are like limits all of us? How much do men bend to fit this mould, and how much do we miss out on when they do?’ It feels like there is so much pressure on men to cover up their innate tenderness and we all lose because of this. The experience of being around men who are willing to share their tenderness has been very healing for me and I truly appreciate it.
I’d never really stopped to consider fathers day, as I’ve always been in a reaction to it and all the hype that it comes with. It’s great to stop and feel what if it was actually a time to appreciate and celebrate men for who their truly are. Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon along with many other men have inspired us with who true men are and they certainly are worth celebrating and appreciating. When you say “treasured the tenderness of men” this touches me deeply. Thank you.
I have seen this too Jenny, and been so aware recently of the gentleness and sensitivity of the men who have been supported to find their essential loving selves by Serge Benhayon, and their ability to be tender and loving with each other and women, and communicate and express that gentleness. I have also noticed the fathers, (and grandfathers), the regular public, who bring their babies and young children to The Creative Aquatic Pool at the Sound Foundation Centre, their tenderness with the children is beautiful, their innate tenderness supported by the gentleness, warmth and welcome of the pool and the work there of Simone Benhayon with children.
It is actually so normal to live the sensitive and tender man I am, compared to the hard and tough men I tried to be in the past. The strain to behave myself like this before I met Serge Benhayon who has shown me that there is another way to be as a men, has hurt me so much. Regardless of this hurt I was in, I was not able to connect to that quality in me anymore and tried to numb the pain with all kind of vices available to me in life. Therefore it is great that this way of being as men, is reflected by the Benhayon family and all esoteric students as this true men’s quality is what all men are looking out for, giving them the permission to also integrate this quality of natural sensibility and tenderness in there lives.
Thank you Adrienne and Peta for asking us to consider more deeply what it truly is to be a man. It would be such a joy to live in a world where the true beauty of men was both expressed and valued.
I agree Elizabeth it would indeed be a joy.
There is so much more to a man than we are presented with in our daily lives. This stereo typing only seeks to further keep men away from expressing the tenderness and love they truly are, and only implants further the expectations and roles we place on them. It is amazing to see many men that I know step into the glory that they are through support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and to see women learn to readjust too to this unfolding from within.
I agree Jenny, without the love and support from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I would definitely still be in the top column of what men would love to do. Thank you Adrienne and Peta for sharing this blog.
Beautifully said Jenny. If women showed their appreciation of the tenderness in men then they would feel free to show their tenderness. A simple start might be if women also gave men flowers to reflect the beauty that they are?
Well said Jenny and Mary and we would definitely appreciate flowers!
Yup. I love flowers. Even more awesome it would be if men gave flowers to each other.
I love and grow orchards, they are beautiful and delicate and a reflection of who I am.
Wow! This blog is amazing because I have never considered men in this way and have bought into the ideology that men are x, y and z as described in the list about men liking cars, etc. To read the comments from men here about receiving flowers is changing my perspective. Thank you!
That is such a beautiful suggestion Otto, I had never even considered it before, it is such an habitual belief that men give women the flowers. How many other tender, gentle and loving gestures there must be that would reflect how men can be sensitive and loving with each other? It is time to split open the stereotypes and open up all the possibilities of gentle communication between men and men, and women and men. I know this is possible as I am meeting more and more gentle men, and it is so lovely to be in their presence.
I do definitely love flowers and it is very lovely to give them to a man as well. When I think about it , when we go to a couple and we bring flowers with us I will almost automatically give them to the woman and not to the man. It is a strange behavior I have developed based on all these stereotyping that is constantly fed to us how a man should behave.
great observation Nico, it is true that the flowers traditionally go to the woman and not the man, what an interesting assumption and lack of honouring the man.
How incredible Mary that you were willing to share how you felt about the men and the way they lovingly responded, My teenage sons let themselves become as soft a marshmallows as well when I connect with them for the loveliness they are.
I love how this is written and can feel the beauty in what’s being expressed and how this honours this equally in men. Thank you
Adrienne thank you for this beautiful gentle article. I have known many men who are tender, sensitive and very caring one to one, but as soon as there is a crowd, especially other men, they put on a brash, uncaring, laddish behaviour. I also know many men who are very tender, sensitive and tick the whole of your “what if you are a man who” list and feel steady enough within themselves to not get swayed by external influence. A gorgeous suggestion for us to appreciate the innate delicateness, sensitivity and beauty of men and offer them a greater space to express who they truly are.
Thank you Adrienne for sharing your tenderness with us. There are so many stereotypes that are available for men to fit into and most of them exclude the tenderness with which most, if not all men, actually yearn for. So lovely to fell your expression of gentleness.
This is so true Beverly, ‘there are so many stereotypes for men to fit into and most of them exclude the tenderness’, it feels like tenderness is seen as a weakness in a man and yet it is one of their most natural qualities, it feels cruel to impose a way that a man should be that does not accept his natural qualities but instead focuses on the very inimportant things like fishing and diy.
Yes I totally agree with you Adrienne, what if we allowed and supported their tenderness, delicateness – how much more would we really experience of the true man… a lot more as I have come to witness and it is utter Joy to be around. To all the men, bring it on as it is truly beautiful.
I love it Natalie. Yes men, do bring it on, it truly is beautiful when you express your tenderness, delicateness, who you simply are.
Totally agree Natalie and Golnaz, when men express their tenderness and sensitivity it is beautiful to see and feel, it is so natural for men to be this way, and quite simply, women LOVE IT too!
Thank you Adrienne for this article on the true beauty and tenderness of men, it would be so lovely to celebrate and confirm this truth rather than keep pushing the stereotype that men are tough and like gadgets. I feel the tenderness and gentleness in my partner and son and feel this true quality in many men that I meet.
I too can feel this tenderness in my husband and 5 sons Rebecca. I can also feel the pressure they are under to “man up” which is much a long way from who they truly are.
This is such a beautiful insight on the real beauty of a man. In reality not all men are your stereotype men but they try to be as that’s what’s expected of them to be like. They try to put a hard shell on the outside but in my experience a lot of men can be so tender and soft if you get to know them. Thanks for bringing into awareness on a true & another real side of the beauty of real men.
I agree with both of you Pinky and Mary, men are soo naturally tender and sensitive, we just have to give them the space. I used to think I had to act and behave a certain way but since meeting Serge Benhayon, being inspired by the way he lives and the teachings of Universal Medicine I have gradually allowed more of the tender man I am out for the world to see. I love it when other men express from their tender side, it feels amazing.
I agree James it is something to behold when two men are being tender with each other it is like a total shift in the world as it is currently set up, it is a great antidote to all the stereotypes that are placed on men. We all miss out with the way it is, I am constantly inspired by the men I met and how gorgeous and unimposing they are.
I Love what you have shared Mary and Pinky, the more we are open to men for who they really are and not expect them to be or react in a certain way the more chance we are going to experience the True and Beautful men that they really are.
Completely true Natalie.
I agree with you wholeheartedly Natalie. If we give men the space to be themselves you will see the true tenderness of them all. It is magical to witness.
Very true Natalie. It is not only men amongst men but also the expectations and needs that women have that keep men from living their true selves.
I love this blog and Mary I just simply melted at your description of men, beautiful, warm and soft like marshmallows.
It’s lovely what you shared Pinky and Mary. And Mary, by the fact that these men enjoyed your comment so much tells me that maybe ALL men are waiting to be acknowledged for the tender beings that they are, and this would somehow give them permission to show their true beauty and tenderness and even admit to their own vulnerability, and maybe they would actually be a little relieved not to live up to the stereotype society have placed upon them. Going back to fathers day, it brings back to me that the cards I sent to my father were always pictures of golf (his favourite, or so I thought), or cars or beer, what ever happened to hearts and flowers?
That’s so lovely Mary. Who doesn’t want to be seen for who they truly are? Men are no exception and though toughness and hardness is a front that seems to be forced on men these days, I have been noticing that it’s true, scratch the surface with appreciation and the beautiful sensitivity shines through.
I melted just reading what you wrote.
Pinky what you share is so true. Men are naturally loving and tender – if we allow them and give them the space they often do connect to this. I work with a lot of men and in my experience, I found just being open and reflecting my tenderness has allowed them to open up to their tenderness. It is beautiful to see this side of them.
How gorgeous Mary – it is amazing when we step outside the accepted norm and express what we feel is the truth.