Last Christmas I received the most unexpected and miraculous present ever. I was speaking with my Mom, with whom I have had a difficult relationship for many years, particularly the last 3, and I noted a change in me: let me explain a little further.
A few months prior to our Christmas phone call I came to understand how I was holding myself back from accepting and loving my Mom just as she is, with no expectation, no neediness, and no agenda. When I opened up to her without judgment and with true acceptance, not needing her to be a certain way, we had some really great conversations in which we truly connected as we never have before.
So on the aforementioned Christmas day, as we were talking and truly listening deeply to one another in this new way, she shared with me something I never thought I’d hear her say. That she and my step-dad, who both drank 3-4 alcoholic drinks every single day for the past 30+ years, (hard liquor, beer, and wine) had stopped drinking completely – and it was no big deal at all! I was stunned. I was so deeply touched to learn that it was something they chose to do together to improve their health and vitality.
My parents are both losing weight, sleeping better, waking up earlier and have more energy. My Mom is 69 years old and my step-dad is 79. Alcohol has been a part of their daily routine for most of their lives, and now it’s just simply not.
In hearing this most amazing news, I connected with the pain I had felt deep inside for many years upon witnessing how different they both became after having even just one drink. I started weeping tears of joy and relief and humbleness.
The humbleness was because what my Mom shared was a huge lesson for me to not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.
This is so huge in my family, and such an amazing healing for me and my partner and for them – for us all together. In one short conversation I was able to let go of years of resentment, hurt, and blame, and truly connect with my Mom again without the intruder named Alcohol. I now feel such deep honor and appreciation for them both in a way that I didn’t allow myself to before, with or without alcohol… The best Christmas present ever!
By Anonymous, USA
495 Comments
Humility is a balm that heals so much, costs so little, seems so inaccessible to many and yet is there for all.
How lovely and it strikes me how your mother was always there underneath the alcohol and whatever was taking her over even during those difficult years. So as we all are always still there in essence there is equally always the opportunity to let go off those intruders as you call them that we have chosen and let in.
Great to read this morning, especially how we can hold others in a picture that they will never change or cannot change, and in particular wanting something from them, and then being resentful if they do not deliver. Many of our pictures are not met or do not play out the way we want, but isn’t it far more healthy to examine if our pictures are true than to blame another.
When we expect change from others it means we are attached to an outcome. My experience of being attached is that I put pressure on a person or situation to be a certain way for me. Its all very self centered and never really in my control, so I set myself up for disappointment. Allowing people to be exactly where they are at is a very loving thing to do. I know, because it feels exactly like that when I am in the presence of people who do that with me.
It is amazing when we make true changes in ourselves how this can inspire others to break out of long held patterns and to be inspired to make changes that they too know will support themselves.
“The humbleness was because what my Mom shared was a huge lesson for me to not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.” Wise words Anonymous and ones we can all learn from. We never know how much someone can change, by us staying true to who we are and presenting ourselves with love.
This is such a powerful reminder to never give up on someone whatever their choices. I had the pleasure of speaking to a member of my extended family on Christmas Day who has, in the last 18 months, chosen to not only give up alcohol but also smoking. The change in their voice and manner was so clear and I could feel myself letting go of the remaining judgement and resentment I had held against them for the impact their choices have had on my life. Acceptance is truly the best gift ever, not just of others but also ourselves.
What a true gift you received Anonymous.. It just shows the power we have when we don’t allow judgement criticism or frustration to get in the way of building true relationships.
When we stop focusing on what people (and ourselves) do or do not do or want them to do or how we want/need them/ourselves to be that’s when there is space for change and healing to occur. To see such unfold without effort is an amazing gift to behold.
I love how this clearly shows that judgement has no place in living a true life. We can never box someone to their previous choices, more can we push them to change. Pretty much as we can not hold ourselves to ransom for our past choices, nor can we stop our evolution. To limit our movement towards evolution is not ok, so how can it be ok to do that to another.
Christmas, Its that time of year again where many people indulge more then ever in alcohol chocolates and puddings. I love what you share here about never giving up on anyone, when we live our truth others are always watching.
“When I opened up to her without judgment and with true acceptance, not needing her to be a certain way, we had some really great conversations in which we truly connected as we never have before.” Having no expectations truly transforms the potential of every relationship.
Letting go of our judgements, however subtle and hidden we think they maybe, and just being love with another regardless, is in my experience the only true way to be with others, ‘a huge lesson for me to not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.’ Beautiful.
Great story about the power in being consistent in connecting with someone regardless of who they are and what they are doing or have done. As is shown you just never know the impact this may have within some peoples lives and as you can see some people make life changing decisions for themselves without an instruction but simply from being connected to and appreciated for who they are. I have seen this many times as well in people and while it can’t be directly attributed to someone or something in particular the fact that there is a loving connection that places the person above all else gives them a consistent opportunity to make a choice on what they actually want to do for themselves and as you can see it’s never to late or no mountain is to steep to climb.
It’s to not hold back in any situation we are in, regardless of where and the choice of people around us, just be ourselves … That can be quite a reflection especially when we let people be and accept their choices.
what an extraordinary gift to receive… Just imagine if this spread around the world, and if parents everywhere gave the children this gift, that of living in an alcohol free house… Imagine how the world change and evolve immediately
That’s incredible. The gift really was the realisation that we should never give up, because the truth is, when we do, it’s just a sign that we have had an investment in something not turning out the way we want it to…but things/people have their own timeline, own process of how and when they will do whatever needs to be done.
A beautiful present to themselves and to everyone they meet; a present gift wrapped with love.
This is great to hear, how you not giving up allowed you to build a true relationship and gave them a space to make more loving choices for themselves. Your reflection would have played a big part in the choices they have been making to self care for themselves more.
“… to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.” This is a great reminder to have, to not waiver form one’s truth no matter what.
A stunning example of how inspiration works through them feeling the power and reflection of the loving choices you have made for yourself and the difference this has made to your life… something they can’t but want for themselves. An amazing gift for them and for your relationship.
It is interesting to note how the writer has shared the levels judgement that creep in when we build expectations of how we want relationships with others to be. How often do we stop to feel the effects of the same judgements when they are made towards us? There is a huge responsibility in creating images and beliefs that often drive us away from developing true relationships when we stop to ponder on the subject.
it really is a miracle when this happens… And if people are just brave enough to try it, then it can be such a revelation… An alcohol free celebration
Beautiful Beautiful.. The best gift ever – and the greatest testimony that we can not judge or hold anything at randsom to someone – as they have their way , their life , their choices – which are different than mine. And is costing a lot of energy and investment! So both side win – if understanding is brought to place.
Amazing relationships are the best present ever… EVER!! Nothing in the world, no present, no thing, no event, no building or gift or anything compares to a true, loving and evolving relationship with someone.
This is beautiful and very healing to read and to be reminded to never give up on anyone or to judge their behaviours, the more we appreciate the qualities everyone brings we provide an opportunity for them to make a different choice.
This sharing brought a tear to my eyes as I know it is so easy for us to judge others for where they are at. Great changes can come about through choices we make in our own time.
Its very powerful what you have shared, accepting and appreciating people is the key. I watched this great u-tube video with this man that goes around New York with a hug T-shirt on, his focus is on hugging Police and appreciating them and what they are doing for the city, we can all inspire each other like this and Christmas time is a great place to start!
I like the points that have been nominated in this article, especially not judging others for their choices and expressing love to all equally
This is amazing news! And gosh what an important message this has for us all – how judgement, blame, resentment (regret) have simply no function other than harm, separation and dispair. So how beautiful to feel the pain of that and let it go.. A true evolution for you all. This is what we can do and life like all of the time – every single day. So lets start to take this example (blog) as an example for our daily practise in life. Thank you so much for sharing.
What a gorgeous sharing – this is true gift to the whole family!
Great advice to never judge another on their behaviour as each one of us has the potential and the possibility to choose to make different choices for ourselves that are more self-loving and also benefit those around us too. You’re right – this is a humbling realisation when it lands and reflects back to us our own projections of arrogance and blame that we too readily foist on others.
I have seen so many incredible transformations in people recently that I know through my lived experience not to judge another. There are people close to me that I have judged who are now displaying the most beautiful qualities that we as human beings possess, these people are my every day living reminders to never ever judge another because there is a living way within that is common to us all.
A great lesson on how lives can be turned around so quickly, can so easily, so profoundly, and how these changes can affect everyone.
To continue to hold another in their essence no matter their choices and behaviour is an essential life skill to learn. And to release the need to judge, them or our selves for it is one and the same. Judgement comes from allowing beliefs, images and ideas to feed us thoughts rather than simply feeling another in their essence. This is especially important with family as there has often been a long history of ill-behaviour that we have to wade through and find our way with; first accepting responsibility for our own behaviour and then accepting the other exactly as they are without trying to change them.
Thank you Emma. I really appreciate your comment. I feel the same way. How you have expressed this so simply . “Judgement comes from allowing beliefs, images and ideas to feed us thoughts rather than simply feeling another in their essence. ” is spot on…..and if we can’t feel them in their essence can we feel ourselves in our essence ?
It is true, the greatest gifts come through connection and are not based on how much they cost. It is good to remember this at Christmas time and make it about connection first and foremost within any ritual that is chosen.
Wow I feel the humbleness and it’s truly inspirational what you are sharing here. I love this part:”The humbleness was because what my Mom shared was a huge lesson for me to not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.”
Thank you again for this wonderful article. I often feel back to this blog and remember the importance of never giving up on someone.
Being open brings the most beautiful heartfelt connection and allows for so much healing – this is beautiful, thank you for sharing
When we know ourselves, we can actually start to be ourselves, and then we can start to be ourselves in our relationships, and then we start to live in a whole new world.
I love this anonymous never to give up on anyone is extremely important and something we do not do enough of.
In society in general there are millions of people we give up on daily and cast a blind eye too – the homeless, the drug addict, the prostitute and yet we rarely get reminded that these brothers are equally too love. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a more understanding society? We are a way off yet but one day we shall eventually get it right!
This is so beautiful to re read again Anonymous, I have family members that drink and some who are going through the process of stopping, it has caused me so much pain during the years to see how even one drink changes them, I am learning over the last couple of years to accept them as they are, and love them where they are, knowing that miracles do happen.
Yes Jill, I too am learning that part of the miracle is me accepting what another chooses to do. Over the years I have come to realise how imposing it is when I judge another on their own choices. Another thing I’ve noticed is if I have an investment in them getting it, I’m not coming from pure love, they feel it and they then become doubly resistant- hence I can then make the situation much worse!
In your words: ” a huge lesson for me to not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.” Wow! Anonymous it has been a while since last I read your beautiful sharing, a very timely one as it relates so well with a situation I’m working with at present – thank you.
Now this is what I call a true Christmas present; one that changes lives in a loving and healing way. In fact it would be a wonderful present on any day of the year and something to be celebrated.
It is beautiful to read how your parents are now taking responsibility for the way they are living and making different choices in order to support themselves.
I have just finished reading this blog of Christmas Day and am appreciating the message that this great piece of writing brings. It is so easy to judge, make fun of or not agree with how people live their lives but when we go about sharing that there is no room to build love and understanding which is the key ingredient for all and the best Christmas gift you can ever receive.
This blog shows when we give ourselves and others space to do whatever they want to do with no judgement but also without being sympathetic for what they are going through, there is an equality amongst each other that allows the connection and love to be felt. We should never give up on anyone as we are all Sons of God.
It’s pretty miraculous when we let go of expectations. I’m constantly realising how much of a prison cell it is to always expect that people and situations should turn out a certain way. Of course, it’s impossible to let go of this pattern if one has not eased up on themselves first. I know I place a huge amount of pressure on myself to be a certain way, and because of that, I place an expectation on others to be a certain way, and most of the time I don’t even realise it!
The key to releasing those shackles appears to be quite simple. Give yourself and others a break. A little lesson for me today.
“…no expectation, no neediness, and no agenda.” That’s what gives us freedom to love.
As you said, Anonymous, “When I opened up to her without judgment and with true acceptance, not needing her to be a certain way” it opened up a new way of connecting between you two and for your Mum it shifted off great weight of your expectations.
I also like that you decided never give up on anyone.
This is absolutely beautiful to read because this blog is celebrating how much joy their is by not only seeing another come more into themselves and live more of who they truly are, but also appreciating the joy of seeing them do it in their own time at their own pace.
how amazing… To actually be able to let go of resentments and hurts have been lodged there for many many years… If this is possible then it is possible for our whole lives to be reconfigured, and this is what the world needs to hear now… That we can actually let go of what has been held and hurt us, and truly start to heal
Lovely point Chris. That if this is possible for one person, then naturally it’s for everyone to clear their hurts and live in a very different way, one choice at a time.
Hear Hear Chris James stepping back to love and letting go of the fear that holds us, very beautiful and very necessary if we want to truly evolve.
This was so beautiful to read Anonymous, it brought tears to my eyes, to never give up on anyone, to love them for who they truly are, without judgement, blame or guilt. What a wonderful Christmas for your family.
Thanks anonymous it just goes to show its never to late to discard unhealthy lifestyle choices.
‘The humbleness was because what my Mom shared was a huge lesson for me to not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.’ Thank you anonymous this was good to hear this morning. I know how true it is and how by deepening the connection with myself I deepen the connection with all others.
To be consistently love in all facets of life brings honesty to every connection in life and that is a pretty cool way to be.
You can feel how deeply your experience has touched you and I love the simplicity of what you share from your Christmas gift…never give up on anyone. Very wise words. Sometimes we don’t see things that others see so clearly and it is through love and people not giving up that we support each other. It is very possible to let someone go, to live their own life and make their own choices, the point is you love them either way.
It is truly a revelation once, having started to heal our own hurts, how we can have relationships again with people we thought it would be possible to relate to.
When we hold another in love, we hold them in All that they truly are. When we choose to be a constant reflection of love we invite others to connect this same love for themselves, with which they too can then share with others. This is the beautiful inspirational gift that love is, of endless giving and receiving.
A beautiful blog about reconnecting back with family without judgement. Without judgement there is no expectation.
Wonderful to read and I can confirm this what you are writing. Once I stopped my expectations towards my mother, we were able to meet each other, to have great conversations, we both opened up, it was just lovely to spend time with each other. There was so much joy between us, I just loved it. What I learned was, that expectations don’t allow me, to meet another person. Awesome lesson.
Great realisation Alexander, now when I meet with someone and I feel something coming up I check in with me first to see what are my expectations, and once I am able to acknowledge and drop them the relationship with that person is allowed to flourish and expand rather then confine it to my own preconceived ideas of how I think they/ we should be.
Gosh, I can really feel your appreciation for your parents Anonymous. It sounds like a real miracle for them to make that choice after such a long time daily tradition. And what an amazing reflection for you and all of us. Learning to not judge others for their choices is a work in progress for me. I still do it every single day, but I realise that everytime I judge another, I’m really just judging myself for the many choices I’m not so proud of. Acceptance and appreciation – two tools that we all need to practice as much as possible. Great story!
I sometimes find it difficult to accept family members exactly as they choose to be. This is because I have experienced moments when they are making self-loving choices, so when they are not, I expect them to be more, to be who they potentially are, to always make self-loving choices. However, this is not allowing free will, and expectations feel awful for the person experiencing the pressure and judgement, and awful for me. Having expectations of others is a sure way to experience disappointment in the long run. What I have also discovered is that I have these same expectations of myself. When I am less than I know I can be, I am really hard on myself. This does not give me (or anyone else) space to make more loving and responsible choices but leaves me feeling worse. The bottom line is that there is no love in expectations and in judgement. I love what you share that when you don’t have an expectation of others and they do make a self-loving choice, this can be celebrated by all. Relationships can be built rather than destroyed.
Expectations and judgements feel very much like attachments and outcomes I have had, especially with family where I have had an attachment to wanting them to make more loving choices for themselves and not stay in misery. What is so beautiful about this blog is it teaches us to let go of all of this and instead to just be open and love with others allowing them to be where they are at. It also shows if we make self-loving choices with no attachment or expectation for another to do the same it may just inspire them to make loving changes naturally in their own time.
“not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.” – such a powerful insight and reminder for me at the moment…to apply not just to others but myself as well.
True Joel. Also a good one for me to keep in mind for myself that I deserve no less than any other and am worth the same.
It’s extraordinary the damage that alcohol can cause in relationships, the effect sometimes not truly comprehended until the alcohol is gone and the shocking comparison undeniable. It is beautiful that you have learnt and now been confirmed in never giving up on anyone… for their essence is always there calling them back and at some point they will hear it.
There used to be a lot of anger in my family when alcohol was part of the diet!
It is truly amazing to feel how when we connect to love and meet another with this love, how our relationships naturally deepen with appreciation and acceptance. Thank you for sharing how healing it truly is for all when we commit to love first.
A great reflection that anything is possible, and how freeing it is to just be ourselves with everyone, without investment or expectation.
Wow, old patterns don’t necessarily have to die hard.
That’s a great point Abby. We associate everything with struggle. I certainly do. But, what if it were a choice, followed by more loving choices to help support the big choice? Not to play it down and suggest that it’s super easy, because after years and years of living a certain way, there is a bit of work to be done, but the choice is a simple one.
What a gorgeous present. It is important to never presume that another is beyond change. We are all fluid in our responses and our growth and the only place we can make these decisions is now. Life is full of delicious moments and something that gives me great joy is that each moment is an opportunity to know myself and others in a deeper way and appreciate this.
What a great lesson anonymous in accepting people for where they’re at and allowing them to come around (or not) in their own time. It’s lovely to read about the choices your parents are making for themselves.
I feel very blessed when I read your blog anonymous. I had the same experience with my mother – before my mother died last year, when we met the last time – I was able the first time in my life, just to accept her how she is without any expectations and judgements. We had such a great day together and appreciated each other. Awesome.
How wonderful this was to read, to feel what your parents have been changing in their lives and to feel what that brought up for you, how incredibly healing for all. Thank you anonymous for sharing.
A christmas present to enjoy every day for the rest of your lives. Not only that of your parents choice to be more loving with themselves, but also for that it exposed for you a hurt that you’d for so long held unto that could now let go of.
Thank you anonymous for your blog. I am learning to let people be, love them without reservations, letting go of expectations. With family or partners I find it the hardest as the expectations and investments seem to be bigger. It is a big learning to love others even if their behaviour is damaging and hurtful towards themselves and in cases towards me as well.
This is a heart-warming article. When people make a choice to feel that the choices they are making are harming them and make changes to the way they live then the ripple effect spreads wide and far and brings love and people together.
Not giving up on anyone and letting them make their own choices in their own time resonates deeply with me; I have found it easy in the past to be impatient, demanding even and load my expectations onto others and myself. I do know that life doesn’t work like that at all, as we are ready when we are ready and not a second earlier – and now I am looking forward to extending this understanding and love to myself and others even more.
What a glorious Christmas present. When you write, “a huge lesson for me to not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes”, I find reading it very humbling. Thank you for sharing.
I love this comment, thank you Simone – the feeling of not being imposed upon is one of the greatest gifts we can give to the world.
Its so wonderful as I realise that I don’t have to tell anybody anything and that just by being and feeling what I am feeling and express there is not much more to do. Definitely learning not to impose on people before there is a true asking.
This is a wonderful blog in more ways than one. Not only does it show amazing benefits to giving away alcohol with health and well being improving, it also shares how lovely our relationships can be when we just let go of needing the other person to be anything. Just letting them be where they are at and allowing them the space to find things on their own.I love this, thank you.
This is amazing to hear, and I agree it is a great example of why we should never give up on anyone. The way you slowly opened up and started accepting your mother for who she really is offered her the space to feel something she may have forgotten. It just goes to show all we need to do is see and meet people for who they truly are and not be swayed into believing what they do is who they are.
A beautiful sharing Anonymous – thank you. Its amazing how much our needs, expectations and agenda’s can tarnish our relationships, and not allow us to truly see the person standing right before us.
It is only when we are willing to let go of our judgments and accept ourselves and others that we can truly connect to one another.
Well said Paula. Acceptance and Allowing are key for connection.
Acceptance and allowance lead to embracing. How beautiful will it be when we’re all able to embrace each other.
Really beautiful to read about turning around a strained relationship and what huge consequences in can have in such as short time. Definitely a healing all round and is a great inspiration to everyone.
What a great blog, it is such a simple story and got me wondering why I enjoyed reading of this so much. I could feel in it how powerful the simple choice to stop drinking alcohol is, I know this having done so myself and how much better I felt, how much clearer and more energised. Alcohol is an ‘intruder’, what a great explanation, it takes away what is real and replaces it with actions that are not who we are, whether that is one drink or many. There is something truly empowering and heartwarming when I read of someone choosing of their own accord to stop drinking, as there is when we make any lifestyle choice that supports our wellbeing.
This is just downright beautiful.
THANKYOU for sharing!
A beautiful sharing with us all Anonymous thank you -Very appropriate (no coincidence) that I read this blog today – I’d taken for granted my relationship with an elderly family member and it was showing in how we spoke to each other and the lack of response in return. Then I realised I was not really giving my fullest attention and as you share “communicating and truly listening deeply to one another” – having eye contact was also important and what we shared was so heart warming. Such a turnaround.
How beautiful Anonymous it is when we start to truly listen to other people, judgement free. When I give people this grace to be, I too have found that what happens is they come to loving choices for themselves. It seems its so much easier for us all when we express and share free from need.
I like that Joseph “It seems it’s so much easier for us all when we express and share free from need.”
I feel so touched that you shared that with the world. Anyone who has lost a parent to alcohol would understand what you say on a very deep level.
It hurts when someone whom we love dearly chooses alcohol over him/herself and the others. Yet, as we use that hurt as the basis for a non existent relationship, in truth we give up on the other person. How beautiful is life offering an opportunity to realise this and to re-imprint the relationship!!
This is so so beautiful to read again. And the truth you have shared is a gift. When we judge, blame or doubt someone we essentially are separating from our love and our love towards another. And so I love what you say here -‘to not give up on anyone ever, to never ever judge or blame another, never ever doubt what someone is capable of, to never ever stop connecting and loving no matter what choices someone makes.’- what a beautiful way this is for us all to live.
This is huge and a brilliant example of a miracle! Your blog is a great reminder to me to never give up on anyone and to also never doubt the inspiration and reflection I can have on others just by living simply and honouring my body.
Your blog made me humble too Anonymous. Lately I have felt that I had the idea that I gave other people the space to make their own choices but underneath there was a kind of giving up, an indifference to the other person which definitely did not came from Love. Your blog is a powerful statement to never stop connecting, never judge or blame but to love another no matter what.
Annelies I do relate to your comment. I think myself magnanimous in I’m allowing others to be. Deep down however I think it is their choice, indeed a bad choice, and I’m in effect judging them, showing much arrogance and lack of love. This blog proves miracles do happen.
Thank you Anonymous, great sharing of the importance of holding another in love no matter what, this does not mean that we approve the actions or behaviours that they are choosing it simply means having a willingness to understand them of the reasons that they choose to do something and to know that we all have our own time in getting there without any judgements or investments of how it happens.
Thank you Anonymous for the present you shared with us all. It is a good reminder that we are far more than meet the eyes.
Thanks Anonymous… miracles can happen and indeed do so often , indeed the magic of God is continually reflecting back to us such grace and beauty and revelation continually, and all we need to do is to let go and truly see.
So true Chris, it seems an endless capacity to truly see and let go – so much grace and beauty to behold.
Thank you for such a beautiful and tender moment. What you shared has allowed me to look again at my family relationships and where judgement can get in the way of fully embracing them. I can begin this day anew – and how amazing is that – to continually have an opportunity to re-visit our relationships and redefine them.
Beautiful Susan, we can indeed begin every day anew and make new choices. When we change something within us, the whole relationship changes. We don’t have to wait for the other, we just commit to ourselves and with that commitment, we meet others. Then miracles happen every day.
Accepting people for who they are, whatever their choice is, has not been easy for me. Especially with my family, I have been guilty of imposing and controlling. If I judge and react, they feel it and we all lose out. Thank you, Anonymous, for reminding us never to give up on anyone, and keep loving regardless of what their choices might be.
What was lovely to read was how simply and easily your mother and father stopped drinking. No fuss, no issues, no going back and forth…Just a simple decision and it is done. I enjoyed reading this to confirm that the process of letting go need not be complicated or hard.
An absolutely amazing story, and has touched something in me, of how hard and judgemental I can be of my family and friends and the choices they make. And how that Judgement keeps me closed and separate from others, and holds them in that certain behaviour. Rather than staying open and loving, and reflecting another possible way of being. Thank you for your deeply touching blog.
This is so touching and amazing, and what I got from reading this, was that love – LOVES.
Your post shows the power we can arrive at through understanding and then accepting people/family as they are and just allowing them to be. That it creates space. And that through this, and whatever their choice, we continue to be love and not in reaction, repulsion or sympathy, switch off that love. For it’s this love that inspires another to then choose it as evidenced by your parent’s choice regarding alcohol. Without the drama. This is love. This is just great.
The line that really stood out to me was the one that described how we hold back from loving and accepting others exactly as they are. I reckon most of the world is holding each other to ransom by holding back our love until people behave in a way we want them to. How different would things be if we simply chose to not hold back love ?