The question I always asked myself when I was a teenager was “Who am I?” This quest for an understanding of that important question spread throughout my life. I tried finding myself in different identities that I was attracted to which I had observed in the world.
I tried to find myself in relationships, in motherhood and a variety of jobs. But when all of these roles were absent from my day I was still here, so I realized that none of these roles defined who I am.
If these roles were who I am I would not exist without them.
I find it very easy to get trapped in the idea that what I do is who I am as a person. If this were true, then when I stopped doing something I would stop existing. If I feel feelings of regret (or feelings of achievement) they are due to an experience I have participated in or observed, I am not regretting me so these feelings are not me either.
If I follow this train of thought it shows I am not what I do as I would not exist without any stimulus outside of myself. A person in a jail isolation cell still exists without outside stimulus; I still am here when asleep even though I am not physically experiencing the world outside of me. So the world outside of me does not define who I am. It may affect me, but it does not define who I am.
So what is it that truly makes us who we are?
It cannot be from any occurrence outside of ourselves as what we do needs constant stimulation to support our existence. It can’t be based on our achievements or failures because as soon as we have an outcome contradictory to this we would no longer exist.
I have found that who we are is a quality that exists within. That quality sends us messages from time to time to remind us that what we are doing is either in conflict or in-line with, the quality we are within.
So if we go a little deeper in exploring these internal messages, what would we find?
I have found that I am a very loving and caring being who wants to share this with all I meet. Sometimes my actions may not reflect these qualities and this is when I receive another internal message that something is amiss. The more I listen to and learn from these messages the closer I get to fully appreciating and knowing who I am. This understanding has nothing to do with how I behave or what I do, but rather it is a self-generated feeling that needs no outside stimulus to support its existence.
The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am; it forever unfolds before me when I take the time to reflect on the internal messages and feelings that guide me back to a truer and deeper understanding of all that I am.
I have searched for this understanding of who I am far and wide and it was my introduction to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that showed me clearly that all the answers were inside of me already; all I had to do was to start listening to that inner voice rather than allow another source outside of myself to tell me who I am.
We all have this exact same inner dialogue of feelings that is us, and from my experience it just takes a bit of listening to start to build a relationship with ourselves. It did take me a while to discern which internal feelings were truly mine and in line with who I am, and which feelings were generated from external ideals and beliefs I had taken on or formed throughout my life.
The never ending support and love I have received from Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and his amazing family has made this possible, practical and tangible for me. This is the greatest gift I have ever received; it keeps on giving as I grow to understand more of who I am. I am forever grateful for this.
By Toni Steenson, Goonellabah, Australia
Further Reading:
We Are So Much More Than This
Who I Really Am
Stillness and Aloneness
1,007 Comments
“It did take me a while to discern which internal feelings were truly mine and in line with who I am, and which feelings were generated from external ideals and beliefs I had taken on or formed throughout my life.” – In my experience this is something that can continually unfold, as in to keep discerning our thoughts or feelings to see if they really feel true to us or not, using our whole body as a tool for discerning and gauging what energy is behind the thought or impulse…
With the way the world is set up, run by age old, ingrained beliefs that simply serve to keep us away from who we truly are, it is no wonder that you, me and many, many others go through life asking “who am I?” And in the process of trying to figure this out search far and wide for the answer. How amazing it is then to finally come to understand there is no searching outside of us required, but a simple turning inward – and there we are, and always have been.
Thank you Toni, as a life living not knowing who you are is the most painfull experience that I have experienced, hence coming back to the knowing inside me of who I am, is the most precious gift. One that needs forever deepening by my willing choice.
Listening to the quiet voice within..we override it so often because we’re so busy distracting ourselves that we can’t hear it- it’s like we drown it out with endless activity, work, or whatever our particular drug is. When we start to listen to it, even in the smallest and simplest of ways, it becomes easier to identify it- and to want to drop the noise so that we can hear it even more clearly.
When we start to have a deeper relationship with ourselves we start to realise that what we thought was true for us turns out to be ideals and beliefs that we have chosen to follow without discerning if they even make sense. These days I ask myself, where did that come from and is it even true?