The question I always asked myself when I was a teenager was “Who am I?” This quest for an understanding of that important question spread throughout my life. I tried finding myself in different identities that I was attracted to which I had observed in the world.
I tried to find myself in relationships, in motherhood and a variety of jobs. But when all of these roles were absent from my day I was still here, so I realized that none of these roles defined who I am.
If these roles were who I am I would not exist without them.
I find it very easy to get trapped in the idea that what I do is who I am as a person. If this were true, then when I stopped doing something I would stop existing. If I feel feelings of regret (or feelings of achievement) they are due to an experience I have participated in or observed, I am not regretting me so these feelings are not me either.
If I follow this train of thought it shows I am not what I do as I would not exist without any stimulus outside of myself. A person in a jail isolation cell still exists without outside stimulus; I still am here when asleep even though I am not physically experiencing the world outside of me. So the world outside of me does not define who I am. It may affect me, but it does not define who I am.
So what is it that truly makes us who we are?
It cannot be from any occurrence outside of ourselves as what we do needs constant stimulation to support our existence. It can’t be based on our achievements or failures because as soon as we have an outcome contradictory to this we would no longer exist.
I have found that who we are is a quality that exists within. That quality sends us messages from time to time to remind us that what we are doing is either in conflict or in-line with, the quality we are within.
So if we go a little deeper in exploring these internal messages, what would we find?
I have found that I am a very loving and caring being who wants to share this with all I meet. Sometimes my actions may not reflect these qualities and this is when I receive another internal message that something is amiss. The more I listen to and learn from these messages the closer I get to fully appreciating and knowing who I am. This understanding has nothing to do with how I behave or what I do, but rather it is a self-generated feeling that needs no outside stimulus to support its existence.
The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am; it forever unfolds before me when I take the time to reflect on the internal messages and feelings that guide me back to a truer and deeper understanding of all that I am.
I have searched for this understanding of who I am far and wide and it was my introduction to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that showed me clearly that all the answers were inside of me already; all I had to do was to start listening to that inner voice rather than allow another source outside of myself to tell me who I am.
We all have this exact same inner dialogue of feelings that is us, and from my experience it just takes a bit of listening to start to build a relationship with ourselves. It did take me a while to discern which internal feelings were truly mine and in line with who I am, and which feelings were generated from external ideals and beliefs I had taken on or formed throughout my life.
The never ending support and love I have received from Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and his amazing family has made this possible, practical and tangible for me. This is the greatest gift I have ever received; it keeps on giving as I grow to understand more of who I am. I am forever grateful for this.
By Toni Steenson, Goonellabah, Australia
Further Reading:
We Are So Much More Than This
Who I Really Am
Stillness and Aloneness
1,019 Comments
Our greatest relationship is the one we form with our inner heart for through this we will come to know who we truly are, and where we all come from.
‘I am not regretting me so these feelings are not me either.’ This is such a great point that exposes what it really is that we’re ‘regretting’ when we go into that regret- leaving ourselves, overriding our body’s messages and our internal compass to make a choice that wasn’t true and didn’t serve us or anyone else. But we can never regret ourselves and regretting our choices is a pointless distraction and waste of time that keeps us in the trough, instead of learning and evolving from those choices. There is always something to appreciate and a learning to be had from every single choice we make, moment to moment.
There is so much more to us than meets the eye and whilst we remain thinking we are what we see physically we will always feel the tension of being less.
If you don’t have that warmth in your heart, that tenderness and surrender in your quality then chances are you’re not living you at all but just another costume from the endless fancy dress disguise rack life offers us.
We really do look for who we are in what we do and the rolls we take on, instead of looking at who we are from within. turns everything on its head to look at life from how we feel within and what we know from within, rather than trying to seek recognition from the outside for what we do.
I can also remember that question of ‘who am I really?’ and ‘what is our purpose of being here?’ burning inside me for many years until it was dulled by the activities fuelled from ideals and belief that the answer lies in what we do. All along, and as had been shared through the ages by many world teachers and prophets, that all the answers to who we are and the universe we are part of lies within us, and through our connection to our Soul all makes sense as we are guided to live the power of who we naturally are. Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness represents and presents a way that this knowing can be lived, a way this is guided only by our connection to our essence within; our Soul.
Our Soul, something that we often neglect, but we can all feel and know, that warm stillness, those moments of depth, truth and clarity, our Soul call us home.
Nothing is wrong, we are not bad human beings, we just allow a toxic energy in that is not loving, understanding or who we are.
When ideals and beliefs first begin to be exposed for the false light that they are it can feel extremely uncomfortable as we are aware of how we have been duped and taken it as real. It can take a variable length of time to accept them for what they are and appreciate that this is the beginning of the Return Path Home to the truth of ourselves.
“We all have this exact same inner dialogue of feelings that is us, and from my experience it just takes a bit of listening to start to build a relationship with ourselves. It did take me a while to discern which internal feelings were truly mine and in line with who I am, and which feelings were generated from external ideals and beliefs I had taken on or formed throughout my life”.
“I find it very easy to get trapped in the idea that what I do is who I am as a person” So many of us would agree. It is common when people retire, having given up the job that occupies such a large part of their lives, they feel lost – after the first few months of so-called freedom. Yet if we don’t have any quality in how we move our being and do what is necessary in life, then regardless of the amount we do – and achieve in the doing – it adds up to very little. We are human ‘beings’ first
It is true, “The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am” and it is a constant discovery because as you unpeel one layer, another layer makes itself known!
“It did take me a while to discern which internal feelings were truly mine and in line with who I am, and which feelings were generated from external ideals and beliefs I had taken on or formed throughout my life.” – In my experience this is something that can continually unfold, as in to keep discerning our thoughts or feelings to see if they really feel true to us or not, using our whole body as a tool for discerning and gauging what energy is behind the thought or impulse…
With the way the world is set up, run by age old, ingrained beliefs that simply serve to keep us away from who we truly are, it is no wonder that you, me and many, many others go through life asking “who am I?” And in the process of trying to figure this out search far and wide for the answer. How amazing it is then to finally come to understand there is no searching outside of us required, but a simple turning inward – and there we are, and always have been.
Thank you Toni, as a life living not knowing who you are is the most painfull experience that I have experienced, hence coming back to the knowing inside me of who I am, is the most precious gift. One that needs forever deepening by my willing choice.
Listening to the quiet voice within..we override it so often because we’re so busy distracting ourselves that we can’t hear it- it’s like we drown it out with endless activity, work, or whatever our particular drug is. When we start to listen to it, even in the smallest and simplest of ways, it becomes easier to identify it- and to want to drop the noise so that we can hear it even more clearly.
When we start to have a deeper relationship with ourselves we start to realise that what we thought was true for us turns out to be ideals and beliefs that we have chosen to follow without discerning if they even make sense. These days I ask myself, where did that come from and is it even true?