The question I always asked myself when I was a teenager was “Who am I?” This quest for an understanding of that important question spread throughout my life. I tried finding myself in different identities that I was attracted to which I had observed in the world.
I tried to find myself in relationships, in motherhood and a variety of jobs. But when all of these roles were absent from my day I was still here, so I realized that none of these roles defined who I am.
If these roles were who I am I would not exist without them.
I find it very easy to get trapped in the idea that what I do is who I am as a person. If this were true, then when I stopped doing something I would stop existing. If I feel feelings of regret (or feelings of achievement) they are due to an experience I have participated in or observed, I am not regretting me so these feelings are not me either.
If I follow this train of thought it shows I am not what I do as I would not exist without any stimulus outside of myself. A person in a jail isolation cell still exists without outside stimulus; I still am here when asleep even though I am not physically experiencing the world outside of me. So the world outside of me does not define who I am. It may affect me, but it does not define who I am.
So what is it that truly makes us who we are?
It cannot be from any occurrence outside of ourselves as what we do needs constant stimulation to support our existence. It can’t be based on our achievements or failures because as soon as we have an outcome contradictory to this we would no longer exist.
I have found that who we are is a quality that exists within. That quality sends us messages from time to time to remind us that what we are doing is either in conflict or in-line with, the quality we are within.
So if we go a little deeper in exploring these internal messages, what would we find?
I have found that I am a very loving and caring being who wants to share this with all I meet. Sometimes my actions may not reflect these qualities and this is when I receive another internal message that something is amiss. The more I listen to and learn from these messages the closer I get to fully appreciating and knowing who I am. This understanding has nothing to do with how I behave or what I do, but rather it is a self-generated feeling that needs no outside stimulus to support its existence.
The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am; it forever unfolds before me when I take the time to reflect on the internal messages and feelings that guide me back to a truer and deeper understanding of all that I am.
I have searched for this understanding of who I am far and wide and it was my introduction to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that showed me clearly that all the answers were inside of me already; all I had to do was to start listening to that inner voice rather than allow another source outside of myself to tell me who I am.
We all have this exact same inner dialogue of feelings that is us, and from my experience it just takes a bit of listening to start to build a relationship with ourselves. It did take me a while to discern which internal feelings were truly mine and in line with who I am, and which feelings were generated from external ideals and beliefs I had taken on or formed throughout my life.
The never ending support and love I have received from Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and his amazing family has made this possible, practical and tangible for me. This is the greatest gift I have ever received; it keeps on giving as I grow to understand more of who I am. I am forever grateful for this.
By Toni Steenson, Goonellabah, Australia
We Are So Much More Than This
Who I Really Am
Stillness and Aloneness
Toni to me you make so much sense and I feel from my own experience that we have fallen for a trap which you have so very simply exposed
‘So the world outside of me does not define who I am. It may affect me, but it does not define who I am.’
We are from day dot saturated with ideals, pictures, other people’s beliefs, expectations, insistence even that we should behave in a certain way and as children many of us conform to this way of being. So we believe it defines who we are.
But there is another way as you have discovered and many more like you Universal Medicine this company supports everyone to build a relationship with themselves and as this happens it can be discovered as you say we may be affected by what society insists we should be but it does not have to define us. I am finding for example there is a way to live in society but on the whole not be affected by it but to hold my own and what I know to be true because I can feel the truth from my body. For me life then becomes easier because I have an internal marker that is my guiding tool.
The greater the transparency of those ill ways of living from our past the simpler it is to heal them, so that then our evolution will take a giant leap towards heaven.
There is no end to exploring who we are and why we do what we do. This is part of our personal medicine cabinet.
When you met someone who knows themselves completely like Serge Benhayon who has no doubt of the absolute divinity he is from it reminds us to of that universal quality that is innate within us all.
Considering the greatest ‘gist’ my feeling is that it is delivered on a simple platter when we let go of our ways of living that are not Loving and when we find those things that we are good at we simply deepen our relationship with that aspect of life then everything is also pulled up so we can also deepen in this area of life.
Now I have re-connected to the enormity of this essence it is a wonder to me how I ever felt myself to be so insignificant. The set up we are in to not stay connected is totally horrendous, and it seems so all encompassing or overwhelming that it is impossible to retain that sense of who we are. Over the course of the last decade or so I have been realising what an illusion this is and how the choice to connect to that essence has always remained with me.
We are continually becoming more aware, and have more understanding of so much, it is awesome, ‘The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am; it forever unfolds before me when I take the time to reflect on the internal messages and feelings that guide me back to a truer and deeper understanding of all that I am.’
Starting to listen to that quiet voice within is starting to honour and respect ourselves, ‘The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am; it forever unfolds before me when I take the time to reflect on the internal messages and feelings that guide me back to a truer and deeper understanding of all that I am.’
I agree with you Lorraine that underneath all the raciness of life there is a stillness that resides within each and everyone of us. However our current way of life makes it very difficult to feel this. I am finding for example that the smallest amount of sugar disconnects me from what I can feel if I don’t eat sugar. So I prefer to eat as little sugar as possible.
I’m learning that movement is everything -not from what I have been told – but from what I feel in my body when I move in a way that is healing and true. In this – I have access to so much more than just me – I have access to the universe and I am not just a single individual anymore.
A newborn baby just is who they are with no words of thought to confuse them. As we grow up in the world around us we can choose to stay connected to the beauty of just being who we are.
“Who am I?” is a great question to ask, I think we spend way too much time just existing and not truly maximising life and I think there are much greater depths to ourselves than we could ever imagine.
Yes and if we don’t know who we are, which is an ever deepening understanding, then we trundle along following a route that may not be the right route for us. We just fall into it because everyone else does it but then get trapped with a constant feeling of tension.
‘I am not regretting me so these feelings are not me either.’ This is such a great point that exposes what it really is that we’re ‘regretting’ when we go into that regret- leaving ourselves, overriding our body’s messages and our internal compass to make a choice that wasn’t true and didn’t serve us or anyone else. But we can never regret ourselves and regretting our choices is a pointless distraction and waste of time that keeps us in the trough, instead of learning and evolving from those choices. There is always something to appreciate and a learning to be had from every single choice we make, moment to moment.
There is so much more to us than meets the eye and whilst we remain thinking we are what we see physically we will always feel the tension of being less.
If you don’t have that warmth in your heart, that tenderness and surrender in your quality then chances are you’re not living you at all but just another costume from the endless fancy dress disguise rack life offers us.
We really do look for who we are in what we do and the rolls we take on, instead of looking at who we are from within. turns everything on its head to look at life from how we feel within and what we know from within, rather than trying to seek recognition from the outside for what we do.
I can also remember that question of ‘who am I really?’ and ‘what is our purpose of being here?’ burning inside me for many years until it was dulled by the activities fuelled from ideals and belief that the answer lies in what we do. All along, and as had been shared through the ages by many world teachers and prophets, that all the answers to who we are and the universe we are part of lies within us, and through our connection to our Soul all makes sense as we are guided to live the power of who we naturally are. Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness represents and presents a way that this knowing can be lived, a way this is guided only by our connection to our essence within; our Soul.
Our Soul, something that we often neglect, but we can all feel and know, that warm stillness, those moments of depth, truth and clarity, our Soul call us home.
Yes, this is an age old teaching and one that will remain, till we are ready to re-discover it for ourselves.
Nothing is wrong, we are not bad human beings, we just allow a toxic energy in that is not loving, understanding or who we are.
When ideals and beliefs first begin to be exposed for the false light that they are it can feel extremely uncomfortable as we are aware of how we have been duped and taken it as real. It can take a variable length of time to accept them for what they are and appreciate that this is the beginning of the Return Path Home to the truth of ourselves.
“We all have this exact same inner dialogue of feelings that is us, and from my experience it just takes a bit of listening to start to build a relationship with ourselves. It did take me a while to discern which internal feelings were truly mine and in line with who I am, and which feelings were generated from external ideals and beliefs I had taken on or formed throughout my life”.
“I find it very easy to get trapped in the idea that what I do is who I am as a person” So many of us would agree. It is common when people retire, having given up the job that occupies such a large part of their lives, they feel lost – after the first few months of so-called freedom. Yet if we don’t have any quality in how we move our being and do what is necessary in life, then regardless of the amount we do – and achieve in the doing – it adds up to very little. We are human ‘beings’ first
It is true, “The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am” and it is a constant discovery because as you unpeel one layer, another layer makes itself known!
With the way the world is set up, run by age old, ingrained beliefs that simply serve to keep us away from who we truly are, it is no wonder that you, me and many, many others go through life asking “who am I?” And in the process of trying to figure this out search far and wide for the answer. How amazing it is then to finally come to understand there is no searching outside of us required, but a simple turning inward – and there we are, and always have been.
Thank you Toni, as a life living not knowing who you are is the most painfull experience that I have experienced, hence coming back to the knowing inside me of who I am, is the most precious gift. One that needs forever deepening by my willing choice.
Everything we are searching for is within -the difference is being willing to stop and connect to what is on offer.
Listening to the quiet voice within..we override it so often because we’re so busy distracting ourselves that we can’t hear it- it’s like we drown it out with endless activity, work, or whatever our particular drug is. When we start to listen to it, even in the smallest and simplest of ways, it becomes easier to identify it- and to want to drop the noise so that we can hear it even more clearly.
When we start to have a deeper relationship with ourselves we start to realise that what we thought was true for us turns out to be ideals and beliefs that we have chosen to follow without discerning if they even make sense. These days I ask myself, where did that come from and is it even true?
We are not defined by our physical shape or our output, we are who we truly are by virtue of our innermost which is our connection to Soul and our divinity.
‘If these roles were who I am I would not exist without them’. This line struck me because so many of us are identified by what we do and not who we truly are and as we all know, whether we admit it or not as you have beautifully pointed out, who we are comes from within and there can be no changing that.
Who we are is not an identification, it is a being and it will reveal itself in all it’s colours and magnificence when we learn to let go of all the things we have taken on along the road that identified us.
Getting to know ourselves is literally the date of a lifetime.
The way we live life is like a rack of shoe boxes we try to squeeze in – only to realise there’s no need. We’re broad, Universal, beautiful and divine – and just not able to be confined. The more we embrace this the more at ease our life will be. Thank you Toni.
In order to not be shaped by the outside world and all the societal ideals and beliefs we have constructed that dictate who we are to be or become, we are to live from our inner-most and allow the quality of this to inform our movements and thus reveal to the world who we truly are.
It’s important you daily literally take note of your qualities and the values you bring. It builds a foundation of your truth. If not, your focus can diminish into distraction and you can find yourself not in a place of truth. I have found if it is not your focus to initiate by consistently appreciating what you bring you will comfortably be not where you should be.
I have found that no matter how much I do it does not surmount to the truly lovely feeling of simply “being,” me in my body and then moving from this quality. It is in the constant search I found over the years to figure out who I was that simply stopping to feel my body and how I moved showed me all of the wisdom i ever needed and brought me back to myself and the longing and searching outside of myself dissipated.
Yes, I remember many years back having no sense of who I was, or why I was here. I am so appreciative to have found Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and the support I receive in discovering who I am in truth, in my essence, this is still an unfolding process.
Thank you for reminding me how wonderful it is to know what is truly me and what is not.
Yes many of us question, who am I, it may even be a universal point that we all question at one time or another. So you are very correct in your statement we are not defined by what we do, as no-one has found a long lasting answer here even with all the millions of different activities humans engage in. I have found a group of people who are discovering who they are in essence and this doesn’t change for them no matter what is happening around them. This group is Universal Medicine and the Student Body of Universal Medicine, they are worth checking out. It is real what is on offer here. In fifteen years I have found nothing that proves this not to be the case, this is pretty amazing in todays world of false answers.
The fact that so many ask the question ‘Who am I?’ reveals that we know that we are not defined by anything we do. When we reconnect to our inner being we reawaken the spark that knows we are so much more than our physical body and are part of a Divine all that we are returning to.
We don’t seem to openly share that we are perhaps looking for the truth of who we are – so thank you for sharing this Toni. The trouble is you look at society today, and many people seem to be doing and saying things that is not reflective of who they are. So it does make me consider what happens when we just ‘get on with it’ and don’t express or explore from the truth of how we are feeling.
It’s easy to see how we learn to define ourselves by what we do when our whole life is geared at receiving recognition. I know I used to look down on people who I thought had menial jobs, and I have also looked down on myself for doing those so-called menial jobs, but no more. Every job is as important as the next providing we are being ourselves while doing it.
The mind will take a million roads but it is not the one who has to walk them. It’s happy to rinse, wash and repeat the way we live life. But our body shows the true tale of how it is to live without connection. Our every cell measures every move and brings the truth back to us. This is a feedback loop the mind cannot answer and inevitably it brings us back to who we are. Thanks Toni.
We might define ourselves by our actions, thoughts, intellect, social standing, title or output or the perceived lack thereof, but what we are is far grander than any of these attributes, mere appendages and in many ways, distractions from our true essence unless they are brought back into the fold and aligned to purpose.
Reawakening from all the ideals and beliefs we are carrying and actually rediscovering the true sense of life with us in it is the most freeing process I can imagine and experience. Getting to know myself without all the roles I consciously put on to get through life easier is an amazing journey. It is a never ending journey and the underlying fact, we actually avoid feeling after all, is that we have to accept our grandness that is within us all the time.
My body has been speaking loud and clear to me lately and has been asking me to stop and review and reimprint an old pattern of mine of never leaving enough time to get to where I am going, so I put myself into rush mode to ge there on time but am no longer in my body but in my head.
I love the idea that our body is a vessel and it is up to us if we choose to align with the divine in our movements or with emotional energies.
If we choose mostly emotional energy our body gets sick as the essence of who we are is divine, so naturally it wants to be divine all of the way and brings out of the body what is not divine.
It is immense what we have to call in to actually not being divine. Saying YES to our power and purpose will instantly let the divine speak and communicate. No matter how much you have called in before. That is how divine the divine in us is.
The deeper I go and explore my relationship with myself, the more I have been finding I have had such a deep and entrenched association with what I do and the quality of what I do and I realise just how sickening it is to see yourself purely based on output and doing. I sometimes think what do I have to do to be me. And the answer is absolutely nothing! Your blog beautifully confirms the truth that we are already who we truly are within so we only need to surrender and say yes to that.
Brilliant Toni, as soon as I read your words, my body dropped and began to settle. This is how I feel when I read the truth. Your sharing so beautifully shows how lost we are when we search for Love outside of us, rummaging through the world like a desperate person in an second clothes shop. The true us is in our quality of presence, living knowing we are divine. Anything short of this just isn’t right. So let’s move, live and speak knowing all of this.
When we go through life without truly knowing ourselves and living a lesser version of ourselves every single person on the planet misses out. Not only do they miss out on what we can bring when we are truly connected but they also miss out on the reflection we can give others who have yet to know their true selves.
It is true who we are is not the human doing aspect but more the human being and from the being comes the doing and everything else. The major question is which energy have we aligned to and everything else is a result of that. We are vehicles of expression and then the question is what are we expressing – all that is from the source of true love / Soul or all that is not.
Very true – for ‘who we are’ as a spirit, is very different to who we are as Soul.
We are so much more than the roles we play in the game of life, this is a great blog and a great reminder of this fact thankyou Toni.
When we become aware that we only get affected and are not defined by the outside world we can also notice that our thoughts are not defining who we are either as they come from the outside world as well.
” The question I always asked myself when I was a teenager was “Who am I?” ” I used to have similar questions when I was a child. My question were from the fact that no-one around me was living who they truly are and where we all come from. This is changing thanks to your writings Toni ,and Universal medicine thank you all.
I have searched for this understanding of who I am far and wide and it was my introduction to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that showed me clearly that all the answers were inside of me already; all I had to do was to start listening to that inner voice rather than allow another source outside of myself to tell me who I am. When I reached this moment of understanding and knowing, everything in my life changed as I realised my search for the answers to who I was and what my purpose was, I had within me all along.
“The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am; it forever unfolds before me when I take the time to reflect on the internal messages and feelings that guide me back to a truer and deeper understanding of all that I am.” So very true Toni and what I am finding more and more lately is when I surrender to being still I am able to confirm and appreciate my past choices in life and how I knew long ago who I was, I simply just didn’t trust that was enough. I am now learning that taking the time to stop, nurture and listen to my body shares the greatest wisdom there is and when I do this it’s amazing how my awareness and understanding of life shifts.
As I was growing up I often asked myself or the universe or God… what am I here for? As getting a job, being a housewife, having children, owning a house, car, travel etc. all seemed the ‘normal’ things that everyone was doing but I always sensed there was a deeper purpose for us all being here together. I also noticed that if this was really our purpose, why were there so many unhappy people in the world, even though they were doing and achieving all these requirements that supposedly equate to a purposeful and ‘happpy’ life? I have since discovered after trying it for myself that the greatly missing factor in all of it was my connection to my essence within. Without this connection, nothing we do in this world will truly fulfill us, yet with this connection, everything we do has purpose and a loving presence, as we are living who we are, being ourselves, as such true fulfillment is a common experience. This for me is the marker of what real success is.
Thank you Toni, I always appreciate your honest sharing and the way you explore life. This line really stood out for me “That quality sends us messages from time to time to remind us that what we are doing is either in conflict or in-line with, the quality we are within.” and that it’s by listening that we get to know ourselves more. Simple but powerful, this was really supportive for me to read, thank you.
“The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am” and this is something that is a work in progress for me too; and a very delightful one it is. In making the choice to peel back the many layers of ideals and beliefs that are not actually me I have finally discovered the gorgeous woman that I spent so much time searching for everywhere for but where I actually was.
Isn’t it interesting how we often search high and low to find who we are, to find love when in fact what we have been searching for has always been with us all along. It feels like we’ve put blinkers on to play a game of hide and seek.
Interesting subject to talk about, who are we truly. That wat we are when we take all the doing away, let go the roles we play by being mam, dad, aunt, manager etc, where we let go our body image.What is left? Isn’t that the most purest divine light we feel? which is endless and is the union itself?
It is very liberating when we discover that we are not any of these external things – the challenge is to then live it consistently.
It’s easy to see how depression and giving up can take hold of us if we believe we are what we do and then say, lose our job for example. With the job gone we do not know ourselves and think we are worthless without the identification of being what we do. The longer we are unemployed the more the feelings of worthlessness build, unless we can bring ourselves to the truth that we are everything without doing a single thing.
The proof that all that lies within is seen all around us in nature. The fact is the universe shows our magnificent every single moment. The fact we get in the way of ‘trying’ to figure out who we are is just proof of other influences that are not within.
And this is just the story of one person….. multiply this by many and we have a small insight into the extraordinary support that Serge Benhayon is offering humanity
I alway knew who I was , but the world did not want me to be who I truly was , so I began to live what the world wanted and I made choices and decisions on how this world worked. It was not until I met Serge Benhayon and his presentations of the ageless wisdom that I learned it did not have to be this way .
So awesome to reconnect to the purpose of life rather than the endless looking outward for affirmation of our worth. That pursuit is one that sees us chasing our tails. Breaking out of the cycle of outward looking is the game changer of how life can be lived.
What I have noticed when pondering who am is the clarity that comes with who I am not. Putting aside who I am not thus gives me a clear understanding and appreciation of the essence of who I truly am. Deepening this understanding and appreciation is certainly a work in progress.
This is a blog that opens us up to all the possibilities that searching for a true identity brings. Just reading many of the wonderful comments is inspirational! Then as you say Toni it comes back to Love.
What a beautiful sharing Toni; this morning as I re-read your blog what you have expressed here really resonated with me;
“The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am; it forever unfolds before me when I take the time to reflect on the internal messages and feelings that guide me back to a truer and deeper understanding of all that I am”.
When we are not present in our actions, we don’t offer anything but a void result. We all are much much more than what we do, and this is what makes the difference, when we are aware of it and allow this to unfold through our expression.
I too searched high and low trying to find the truth of who I was, it never made any sense why it always felt so difficult to feel truth in any of what I was encountering until I found Universal Medicine and realise everything I was looking for is inside of me and it is through my holding of this connection that I have come to know myself as a son of God.
What you have expressed here Toni is beautiful indeed. I am learning also that being a forever student, exploring all that I am is such a joy, if not at times a challenge; a challenge where true learning and expansion happens;
“The one thing I am learning is there is no end to exploring all that I am; it forever unfolds before me when I take the time to reflect on the internal messages and feelings that guide me back to a truer and deeper understanding of all that I am”.
We are the gift that keeps on giving both to ourselves and to others when we are connected to who we truly are.
Children ask all sorts of questions. But I have never heard any child asking the question who am I? The fact that as adults so many of us do ask such a question is an indictment of a society that actually pushes us away from that innate awareness of a connection and oneness with the whole of the Universe. A separation from knowing that there is no image or picture to fulfill, because just as the Universe is forever expanding so does our expression and the glory that we bring.
When we have inner turmoil we believe that no other person could possibly understand what we are going through, because it all feels so intense and raw, but the truth of the matter is everyone has these similar feelings and thoughts. Equally so on the other side of the coin we have the ability within us to connect to something far grander than our minds can imagine and that also is there equally so for everyone, with no exception for anyone who is considered special or gifted. Or as many would like to think unworthy of such connection.
I have connected with this quality too Toni, the expansive warmth and beauty of Love. Yet I find I run away after just dipping my toe in, for a brief moment. I keep this place in mind for when things get bad, like a rainy day cure, but don’t seem to consider that I could live every day knowing the quality of divinity that is me. Writing this I can feel I have still been invested in the world that we see and making it ‘better’. I want to ‘have my cake and eat it too’ but this vision of life just isn’t right. In the end I can see it’s a matter of commitment and which camp you are truly in. You can’t be inbetween.
Not knowing who we are comes forth out of a disconnection with our body and thoughts (that in truth are not ours but fed by ideals and beliefs) can enter that are pretty intense but never supporting who we truly are. Discerning and focus on the inner voice that’s truly loving is the way to go and this will deepen the relationship we build with ourselves. Lately I have allowed myself to go back into this old pattern of overthinking and analysing. My body has giving me very clear signals through aches and pains how this is not the way, and I know and feel how I’ve been sabotaging a deepening of the love I feel inside.
It seems as though when we are in our teenage years we start to get the picture that you are by the definition of your job and the schooling is geared up to have you educated enough so that you are employable, or at least that was the thinking in the 1970’s.
We were assessed depending on our abilities within the classroom to be either mothering/marriage material or office/career person, and there were no in-betweens. I still remember the meeting with the career guidance officer who steered us according to our abilities within the classroom. So for instance if you did badly in the classroom you were guided towards the cooking, child raising type classes and if you were more successful within the classroom you were guided towards some sort of career, and in my case it was office work.
So, I can relate deeply to not knowing who I was and in fact giving my power away to anyone who seemed remotely like they knew. And it was only when I met Serge Benhayon that the I posed the question to myself of ‘Who am I’ and realised that I did not have a clue – I had become the roles of mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend, employee, the list is endless.
Trying to figure me out used to take up so much of my time; I suspected that there was more to me than what I did, especially the very crazy and unwise things, but I just couldn’t find the key to unlock the door that I knew was there because I was looking outside myself. It wasn’t until, with the love and support from Serge Benhayon, that I turned and looked within and found what I had been looking for, for so long – the true and amazing me.
Thank you Toni for your insight into who you are and how each of us also can have this insight also! Often we loose sight of who we truly are but thanks to The Presentations of Serge Benhayon and we all have access to this learning by knowing we are all the Sons of God equally so
Who am I? What a beautiful question to ask ourselves and what a joy it is to keep unfolding and deepening our understanding and acceptance of who we truly are.
When we build a relationship with ourselves there is this choice to connect with our inner heart, feeling our breath and how we are moving with our body. The moment I start to see the world only with my eyes, I lose this connection and thoughts can come in which make the outside more important than who I am.