I have begun to truly love men, but not in the sense of being a crazed, man-eating woman.
Nothing to do with sex, or sexual feelings; not in the sense of looking for a partner, nothing along those lines, but the fact that I love men in their essence, as an equal, as a fellow human being who is exactly the same as me. I love what men bring to the world in a naturally sweet, loving, caring, gentle and tender way, and how the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man is in all men, not just a few.
Each day it is a joy to feel this unfold. What I love about men in their essence is just how natural this tenderness and gentleness can be, and how simply being in the presence of a true gentle-man is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, whether it’s simply:
- A man honouring me for just being me, not what I look like, nor what I do
- Having a conversation
- Observing them
- An offer of help
- A loving gesture, or act
- An email exchange
- A hug
- A kiss or
- A gentle and tender touch.
When I experience men in this gentle, tender state of being, all hardness and or protection I may have been carrying completely drops, and I am left feeling my own exquisite tenderness, gentleness and deep care; and the fact that men are not really hard, rough and tough, but they carry such a beautiful and exquisite strength in being sensitive and tender.
There’s been many occasions where I have been blessed to feel such lovely men, and yet at the time I have not appreciated this naturally gentle and tender way. Instead I have reacted to what’s been projected on the outside, a stereotype, a hardness, an anger, a protection, a story; all of those things which I know of men are not really true.
However the times when I have, and now do appreciate men for who they truly are, I have felt it from:
- Sharing a hug with a male friend that felt so open and amazing with no sexual feelings whatsoever.
- Having my hair gently moved out of my face with such tenderness and care it completely blew me away.
- Feeling arms wrapped around me gently with deep care.
- Hearing a man’s voice who’s living with such love and care and feeling my whole body expand.
- Having a conversation with a man who has held me as his equal with true love and care.
- Being kissed truly from love with no sexual desire. The true feeling where a kiss comes from love, and that is simply what it is, no other reason, not wanting anything, no need for sex or just wanting sex or lust, just simply love. So often affections are shown with such a strong sexual energy instead of true beauty, appreciation and love.
- Simply observing a grown man sleeping on the train, seeing the beautiful, tender and innocent young boy in him, and naturally feeling love.
- Observing how tender a man is with a baby or child.
Even last week when playfully asking a group of workmen if I could take their photo, I was left feeling how sweet, shy, gentle and lovely these men were… it was like watching a group of beautiful young boys at play, not something we normally equate with the stereotype of a workman.
What I am coming to feel is that under the hard exteriors that many men have built to protect themselves are the most naturally loving and caring men, but they have learned somewhere in life to not show this and hide it away.
Maybe it’s been in the playground or at the school gates, when beautiful young boys are told to wipe their tears away, to ‘man-up’, be tough, to not be a sissy or a girl, or stop being gay. Maybe it’s all the role models, the media, the ideals and beliefs that a man is rough, rugged, muscular, hard, tough, has to fight or compete his way through life, and that to talk, to share how you feel, to be open, express, to cry, to be love, to be sensitive, gentle and tender is not how a real man should be.
But what if these beliefs and ideals were a lie to keep men from knowing who they truly are and sharing their tenderness, gentleness and sensitivity with the world? What would happen if we allowed men to be this way?
Each time I allow myself to feel and appreciate and love men in this way is the time I open to let go of another layer of how I and the world have shaped how a man should be. Without saying anything or having any expectations I can observe, feel and appreciate the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man, even if it’s not what he’s choosing to be at that particular moment, and that all men are as equally tender and gentle as any woman or child can be.
With love and thanks to Serge Benhayon, Curtis Benhayon and Michael Benhayon, for they are without doubt amazing, truly loving and tender role models for all men; and to Universal Medicine for all they present, live and share, and to all the truly beautiful, tender and gentle-men out there.
By Gyl Rae, Student and waitress, Scotland
Tender men feel and act like they are little boys but with an absoluteness and authority that is confirming them in there True power and this is the same for women in there True fragility.
When we are asleep we drop all the masks, we allow the vulnerability of who we are to simply be.
The true essence of a man is identical to the true essence of a woman and the true essence of all of us is the essence of God.
We are all lost in the wilderness of Who We Are Not whilst the truth of who we all are remains intact within us all.
The magnificence of a true man can never be underestimated.
Gyl I truly love what you have shared and through your sharing you have conveyed the true feeling of men so eloquently. I can actually feel the truth of who men are through your written word.
Sometimes men feel unable to be gentle because we women are always confirming them in something they are not. When we let others be who they truly are gentleness is allowed to surface and shine.
‘the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man is in all men, not just a few.’ When I observe young boys it is totally clear that tenderness is innate. When I observe older boys and men they like to think they can hide this quality but this is impossible – it cannot be hidden.
Gyl, I have witnessed this happening in the playground; ‘Maybe it’s been in the playground or at the school gates, when beautiful young boys are told to wipe their tears away, to ‘man-up’, be tough, to not be a sissy or a girl, or stop being gay.’ It is a real shame that boys are under such pressure to be hard and tough, rather than be the beautiful, sensitive and gentle boys they truly are.
I agree, and when a man is allowed to express sadness or surrender in that way, it is felt by all and is healing for all.
In my community I visit an elderly man, he is a very simple, calm and gentle man that is very inspiring and beautiful to be around.
Just reading your list of reasons that you have come to love and appreciate men for the gorgeous qualities that they bring is deeply touching. I too have had experiences similar to these, and they do, without doubt fill you with the deepest appreciation of what it is to be a true man. So, whats not to love?!
Could it be that we are all such loving beings that to take away our Sacredness, which includes our tenderness, sensitivities, preciousness, fragility and sexiness does not feel normal. Then when we are reconnected to our essences including our Sacredness, the Love that has always resided within feels like we have come home. Or taken our bat and ball and gone home.
In coming home we let go of any attachment to what creation offers including the games that are all consuming and they alll keep us from our evolution.
When a man is living his essence and sharing all the qualities that come with that, it is truly amazing to experience. I grew up noting how toughened men were expected to be, even adverts idealised a certain man, rugged, impenetrable, unfeeling, and physically strong, it’s such a huge reduction of the true qualities boys and men have, it’s like squashing them into a mould and expecting them to be untrue to themselves.
I just love observing the true delicateness of men. A man who allows himself to show this with the world invites me as a woman to go deeper in my stillness and sacredness.
A gentle man who does not hold this back is a joy to behold. I love that men can be tender and loving. It is just gorgeous and reflects to other men that they can let down their guard.
It’s definitely true that the more tenderness I allow myself to feel in me the more tenderness I am able to feel and appreciate in others and the deeper tenderness grows.
Yes and I wonder if that is why men are not allowed or afraid to allow their tenderness to come to be lived on the surface – because, as women, we are not living that ourselves and therefore don’t live it as a strength.
I welcome the day when we embrace men living with their tenderness and sensitivity, ‘what if these beliefs and ideals were a lie to keep men from knowing who they truly are and sharing their tenderness, gentleness and sensitivity with the world? What would happen if we allowed men to be this way?’
True Tenderness and the fragility that we can live with as our daily Livingness bring a Deep-Humble-Appreciative-Ness of the Sacredness we can all live in!
Humble being our connection to our Soul, and appreciation being a confirmation of our divinity and also that of everything/one being divine, and this level of appreciation we are confirming and living with True intimacy, and all three give us True purpose. With True intimacy being not sexual but our ability to let people in.
Every point of appreciation you shared here Gyl had me melting as this has been my experience also with men and the quality of who they naturally are. Yes the intensity of ideal and beliefs of what society continues to impose on men is still a reality for many men to have to deal with and this highlight how every time we are with men we have the opportunity to meet them for who they truly are, and be blessed by the gorgeous quality the naturally hold within.
When we call boys or men girls, sissies or gay we have already rejected them by asking them to become something they are not – tough, insensitive and hard. It shows how very cold ideals are, they are used in this instance to degrade girls, gay people and boys and men. Why on earth would we allow something so ludicrous and degrading? Such an ideal of men being tough and hard also communicates a superiority that such a way of being is above all others, especially anything naturally sensitive or fragile, which we all are.
Gyl, you show exactly what we have forgotten as women and men, we are natural tender and gentle, there is only denial that keeps us forth being blind, nothing is truly gone – as our tenderness and gentle ways are always there.
We are naturally tender, it is lovely to appreciate this, ‘ I love what men bring to the world in a naturally sweet, loving, caring, gentle and tender way, and how the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man is in all men, not just a few.’