I have begun to truly love men, but not in the sense of being a crazed, man-eating woman.
Nothing to do with sex, or sexual feelings; not in the sense of looking for a partner, nothing along those lines, but the fact that I love men in their essence, as an equal, as a fellow human being who is exactly the same as me. I love what men bring to the world in a naturally sweet, loving, caring, gentle and tender way, and how the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man is in all men, not just a few.
Each day it is a joy to feel this unfold. What I love about men in their essence is just how natural this tenderness and gentleness can be, and how simply being in the presence of a true gentle-man is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, whether it’s simply:
- A man honouring me for just being me, not what I look like, nor what I do
- Having a conversation
- Observing them
- An offer of help
- A loving gesture, or act
- An email exchange
- A hug
- A kiss or
- A gentle and tender touch.
When I experience men in this gentle, tender state of being, all hardness and or protection I may have been carrying completely drops, and I am left feeling my own exquisite tenderness, gentleness and deep care; and the fact that men are not really hard, rough and tough, but they carry such a beautiful and exquisite strength in being sensitive and tender.
There’s been many occasions where I have been blessed to feel such lovely men, and yet at the time I have not appreciated this naturally gentle and tender way. Instead I have reacted to what’s been projected on the outside, a stereotype, a hardness, an anger, a protection, a story; all of those things which I know of men are not really true.
However the times when I have, and now do appreciate men for who they truly are, I have felt it from:
- Sharing a hug with a male friend that felt so open and amazing with no sexual feelings whatsoever.
- Having my hair gently moved out of my face with such tenderness and care it completely blew me away.
- Feeling arms wrapped around me gently with deep care.
- Hearing a man’s voice who’s living with such love and care and feeling my whole body expand.
- Having a conversation with a man who has held me as his equal with true love and care.
- Being kissed truly from love with no sexual desire. The true feeling where a kiss comes from love, and that is simply what it is, no other reason, not wanting anything, no need for sex or just wanting sex or lust, just simply love. So often affections are shown with such a strong sexual energy instead of true beauty, appreciation and love.
- Simply observing a grown man sleeping on the train, seeing the beautiful, tender and innocent young boy in him, and naturally feeling love.
- Observing how tender a man is with a baby or child.
Even last week when playfully asking a group of workmen if I could take their photo, I was left feeling how sweet, shy, gentle and lovely these men were… it was like watching a group of beautiful young boys at play, not something we normally equate with the stereotype of a workman.
What I am coming to feel is that under the hard exteriors that many men have built to protect themselves are the most naturally loving and caring men, but they have learned somewhere in life to not show this and hide it away.
Maybe it’s been in the playground or at the school gates, when beautiful young boys are told to wipe their tears away, to ‘man-up’, be tough, to not be a sissy or a girl, or stop being gay. Maybe it’s all the role models, the media, the ideals and beliefs that a man is rough, rugged, muscular, hard, tough, has to fight or compete his way through life, and that to talk, to share how you feel, to be open, express, to cry, to be love, to be sensitive, gentle and tender is not how a real man should be.
But what if these beliefs and ideals were a lie to keep men from knowing who they truly are and sharing their tenderness, gentleness and sensitivity with the world? What would happen if we allowed men to be this way?
Each time I allow myself to feel and appreciate and love men in this way is the time I open to let go of another layer of how I and the world have shaped how a man should be. Without saying anything or having any expectations I can observe, feel and appreciate the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man, even if it’s not what he’s choosing to be at that particular moment, and that all men are as equally tender and gentle as any woman or child can be.
With love and thanks to Serge Benhayon, Curtis Benhayon and Michael Benhayon, for they are without doubt amazing, truly loving and tender role models for all men; and to Universal Medicine for all they present, live and share, and to all the truly beautiful, tender and gentle-men out there.
By Gyl Rae, Student and waitress, Scotland