Making the time for moments to connect to my body by trusting and expressing from my essence, and taking responsibility for and deepening the connection with my essence, has been quite profound. From this, many beautiful experiences have taken place that will stay in my heart forever.
Following a few supportive sessions with the practitioners at Universal Medicine, I began conversations with my husband around the importance of expressing fully and to keep developing our relationship. We both agreed that on some level we had previously held back from expressing freely with each other and that we didn’t want to do that anymore because we love one another. We agreed that it was important that we just express what we are feeling, no matter what the other may think, so that we could develop the trust to allow a point or conversation to unfold as it needs to, even if we have no real end point initially in sight. We both knew that honest discussions would naturally allow the conversation to unfold for us to get to what felt true, and we agreed that it was totally okay to disagree along the way.
We decided in being open and honest with each other, knowing that we are still unified as a couple and love each other, even though sticky issues could come up and feelings would need to be shared that may make us feel uncomfortable at the time.
The most beautiful part of all of this is that after only a few days of putting this into practice, we were able to speak and share about topics that felt like we were addressing ‘a few elephants in the room’ and the most amazing level of love, support and appreciation was then expressed from both of us towards the other.
I felt an enormous amount of trust: in other people, in an intimate relationship with a man (something that I had not experienced before), in me, in him . . . and that we all have this level of love in us just waiting to be expressed.
This has set a new marker for me, not only in my relationship with my husband, but with the way I relate to others. I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.
Following on from this truer and deeper way we chose to relate to each other, he wrote me the most beautiful letter. Through his letter I got to appreciate the ripple effect that:
- choosing to be living from my essence had on him from the very beginning of our relationship
- the effect I have on all those I encounter in my work, my friends and family and on the street when I am simply my true self, expressing from my essence
- how much can be worked through quickly when we choose to make it about love
- being honest, expressing it as it is for us, and expressing at the time it is needed
- how much he sees, feels, hears, observes, appreciates and adores me.
Much has unfolded for me and those around me after this particular experience and I feel:
- a deeper relationship with myself and my husband that I can trust unwaveringly
- a greater level of connection and ease in the way I relate to others
- an appreciation for how open people can be when we are open ourselves
- the astounding ripple effect that relating to others in a true way has
- the unity and an equal-ness between people
- a trust in humanity and the fact that deep down we all want the same thing – Love
- the power of expressing from the heart
- that it is okay to agree or disagree – that it is more about expressing.
Through making the choice of developing a deeper relationship with my essence, much has unfolded for me through the amazing experiences and moments I had with my husband when we both stepped up and allowed the connection to our essence to happen.
I appreciate my essence and have an unwavering knowing that I am actually equipped to handle any situation when I choose to stay with myself.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and the support of the Practitioners and Student Body of Universal Medicine.
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education, Perth WA
Further Reading:
Learning To Express Our Feelings
Returning To Our Essence
The Truth of Love – Equally for All
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Staying within, and re-connecting to our essences is a truest way of expressing and feels amazing as Truth can set us free.
“I felt an enormous amount of trust:” Absolute honesty with ourselves and others means there is nothing to hide.
Inspiring to read this again and be reminded of the value of simply being open and honest with people. This line also stood out for me regarding the intention we can have in conversations with others “how much can be worked through quickly when we choose to make it about love.”
I am becoming more comfortable with expressing how I feel about sticky issues or miscommunications. It makes any relationship far clearer, lighter and joyful.
“even though sticky issues could come up and feelings would need to be shared that may make us feel uncomfortable at the time.” Having conversations about something that we feel may be uncomfortable is like taking a pebble out of your shoe and then you walk more confidently and evenly when it is out in the open.
Expressing from who we truly are is powerful, ‘the effect I have on all those I encounter in my work, my friends and family and on the street when I am simply my true self, expressing from my essence’.
What a lovely understanding and appreciation, ‘I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.’
We are indeed equipped to deal with any situation when we connect to our essence.
When we express what and how we actually feel, others can connect to that – and so we offer ourselves the potential for deeper connections and richer relationships. Going for it with our expression is the key to a far deeper and more expansive experience of living life.
Expressing what we actually feel rather than conforming to a template of what we think the other is wanting to hear (but usually aren’t) opens the door to true and real relationships, and the potential for everyone to grow and learn.
This is so inspiring Johanna and has deepened my appreciation for an experience I had this weekend of allowing myself to express from my essence with a friend and how we could both feel the impact of this not just on ourselves but on everyone around us and how now that we have this marker in our bodies we have a responsibility to share this with all.
What a lovely understanding and appreciation, ‘I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.’
Being connected to my essence feels very natural and settling, so much so that if I am looking for or expecting fireworks I miss out on the beauty this connection brings to others.
When we express from our essence and experience another expressing from their essence, a supportive platform for honesty and intimacy enters the relationship.
When we do connect to and express from our essence, our expression is so profoundly different… Our lives can never be the same
That is the key Johanna, staying in connection with our essence and expressing from our inner heart. I have found in my relationship with my husband lately, that there is a space to truly express what we are feeling no matter what, and I am amazed at what is being revealed to be understood and healed with a deeper offering of evolution available.
Holding back and lacing a relationship with pictures of how it should be is pure poison. I either comply and live a lie then explode in frustration or I go the opposite way (without communicating why I am doing what I am doing) and again get frustrated. Me being me in front of another intimately is still a learning curve but I appreciate having the space to learn and drop the expectations.
Connecting and expressing from our essence a much neglected and misunderstood science. If we placed more attention to deepening our relationship with ourselves, much of the world’s problems would be solved.
So true Kehinde as many of the world’s problems are the result of misunderstandings caused by lack of expression. As we deepen our relationship with ourselves this is reflected to others and they are offered the opportunity to explore a different way.
Recently I have been inspired by someone who just allows themselves to express all that they are feeling and in this it is freeing and very beautiful. When I observe them it allows me to feel the next steps that I could go to in myself.
Returning to our essence is the answer for all issues in life, I’ve felt this, experienced it and found myself coming back around to it but have yet to exhuast it. If there’s a problem in life I need to come back to my essence, and read this blog today to remind me! Thank you.
We are only scratching the surface of understanding the harm words do and holding back the words that are there to be spoken is just as impact-full on the body as expressing words without consideration for their ripple effect.
When we don’t express it is like everything builds up and we can find no way out of it, however, when we do express it is like there is space again and we are able to feel ourselves and what is true for us once more.
Sharing our expression is a great way to stay open and in touch with those we love so we can both evolve.
We are equipped to handle any situation when we are deeply connected to our essence. At times I have amazed myself with how I handled certain situations and this was due to the fact that I was connected to my essence and stayed open, honest and loving.
This blog helped me to feel how holding back sharing my feelings fully with my wife out of protection has really been a silly game considering all the amazing benefits to expressing fully as Johanna has described. The times that I have said how I felt even though it was a challenging subject, it has resulted in an evolution and greater understanding of everyone involved. So why not go for it?
What I love experiencing is just how freeing it is to openly express and share the truth I feel with others, to live and express from my essence, and how this allows a deeper connection to love develop for ourselves and with others, along with re-building trust in our relationships.
“…being honest, expressing it as it is for us, and expressing at the time it is needed”- this is so important to me as not only have I noticed that I have held back expressing “as it is for ” in fear of being rejected or misunderstood, but there have been other times where I felt it was not the right time to express what I was feeling, but instead of being patient I said it anyway just for a personal relief to’ get it off my chest’ and it was met with opposition and not accepted, as well as not as healing compared to if I waited for the right time.
Very much appreciated reading this treasure for relationships Johanna. I agree – it is treating yourself in the worth and knowing you are equal with all and also understanding yourself by your hurts knowing the difference between these and your vulnerability of expressing our sensitive you are. Honesty is the best medicine.
It is so exhausting not living our true self, yet if we have masked that true self because we needed a relationship to work then exposing ourselves may lead to losing that love. The brain is wired to fear such an enormous consequence so there are times where we will do and say anything to mask how we really feel to keep the peace. What you have shared here is an example of the joy, the love and the simplicity that comes from letting down those guards and layers of protection. It is worth also mentioning the abundance of energy that comes from letting down the guard too!!!
I had a situation yesterday where I could feel fury and resentment coming at me and instead of staying open I got hurt by it and shut down, this then further perpetuated what the person was in and created a bigger divide between us. I am really learning to say no to abuse but to stay open to the person.
The key to living our true and authentic selves is to express from who we are and not from who we think we should be.
Yes and to practice that as often as possible. It takes time to deconstruct the walls and barricades we have built in order to ensure we do not get hurt – only to find ourselves hurt because no-one ‘gets’ us.
What I have come to realise over the years of being in a relationship for 30 years is how our pictures of what it means to be married can influence the relationship without us even noticing, to the extent that it feels like there is another person or persons present within the relationship. These ideals and beliefs will just play out without being aired unless we make the conscious effort to out them with the intention to see if they are actually true or not.
There is so much to learn with being in relationships, how to communicate and express ourselves is huge, but what I love about this piece is the point you raise about knowing that there is love and a commitment to that love within the relationship that can hold you both together throughout the difficult times.
Imagine if we took away all the distractions/hobbies/avoiding eye contact/dramas/issues/dynamics we have in between relationships, what could we learn then?