Making the time for moments to connect to my body by trusting and expressing from my essence, and taking responsibility for and deepening the connection with my essence, has been quite profound. From this, many beautiful experiences have taken place that will stay in my heart forever.
Following a few supportive sessions with the practitioners at Universal Medicine, I began conversations with my husband around the importance of expressing fully and to keep developing our relationship. We both agreed that on some level we had previously held back from expressing freely with each other and that we didn’t want to do that anymore because we love one another. We agreed that it was important that we just express what we are feeling, no matter what the other may think, so that we could develop the trust to allow a point or conversation to unfold as it needs to, even if we have no real end point initially in sight. We both knew that honest discussions would naturally allow the conversation to unfold for us to get to what felt true, and we agreed that it was totally okay to disagree along the way.
We decided in being open and honest with each other, knowing that we are still unified as a couple and love each other, even though sticky issues could come up and feelings would need to be shared that may make us feel uncomfortable at the time.
The most beautiful part of all of this is that after only a few days of putting this into practice, we were able to speak and share about topics that felt like we were addressing ‘a few elephants in the room’ and the most amazing level of love, support and appreciation was then expressed from both of us towards the other.
I felt an enormous amount of trust: in other people, in an intimate relationship with a man (something that I had not experienced before), in me, in him . . . and that we all have this level of love in us just waiting to be expressed.
This has set a new marker for me, not only in my relationship with my husband, but with the way I relate to others. I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.
Following on from this truer and deeper way we chose to relate to each other, he wrote me the most beautiful letter. Through his letter I got to appreciate the ripple effect that:
- choosing to be living from my essence had on him from the very beginning of our relationship
- the effect I have on all those I encounter in my work, my friends and family and on the street when I am simply my true self, expressing from my essence
- how much can be worked through quickly when we choose to make it about love
- being honest, expressing it as it is for us, and expressing at the time it is needed
- how much he sees, feels, hears, observes, appreciates and adores me.
Much has unfolded for me and those around me after this particular experience and I feel:
- a deeper relationship with myself and my husband that I can trust unwaveringly
- a greater level of connection and ease in the way I relate to others
- an appreciation for how open people can be when we are open ourselves
- the astounding ripple effect that relating to others in a true way has
- the unity and an equal-ness between people
- a trust in humanity and the fact that deep down we all want the same thing – Love
- the power of expressing from the heart
- that it is okay to agree or disagree – that it is more about expressing.
Through making the choice of developing a deeper relationship with my essence, much has unfolded for me through the amazing experiences and moments I had with my husband when we both stepped up and allowed the connection to our essence to happen.
I appreciate my essence and have an unwavering knowing that I am actually equipped to handle any situation when I choose to stay with myself.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and the support of the Practitioners and Student Body of Universal Medicine.
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education, Perth WA
Learning To Express Our Feelings
Returning To Our Essence
The Truth of Love – Equally for All
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful experience Johanna. Your words makes me appreciate how precious and important our presence is, for us and all people around us. It is ceratinly very unique and life changing having someone who never judge us or impose how we should or shouldn’t be, but hold us deeply for the precious beings we are.
In Truth there is no separation. It is through honest conversations that we come together and find how liberating it is stop the fight and surrender to the greater love is within each and everyone of us.
When I connect with my essence, everything becomes easier, simple and then, expressing myself as I am, not only is possible, but it is a natural and joyful experience to live in.
Me connecting to my essence has a ripple effect on those around me. More often than not these effects are really beautiful to witness as they naturally come from the other person without pressure or force.
Staying within, and re-connecting to our essences is a truest way of expressing and feels amazing as Truth can set us free.
“I felt an enormous amount of trust:” Absolute honesty with ourselves and others means there is nothing to hide.
Inspiring to read this again and be reminded of the value of simply being open and honest with people. This line also stood out for me regarding the intention we can have in conversations with others “how much can be worked through quickly when we choose to make it about love.”
I am becoming more comfortable with expressing how I feel about sticky issues or miscommunications. It makes any relationship far clearer, lighter and joyful.
“even though sticky issues could come up and feelings would need to be shared that may make us feel uncomfortable at the time.” Having conversations about something that we feel may be uncomfortable is like taking a pebble out of your shoe and then you walk more confidently and evenly when it is out in the open.
Expressing from who we truly are is powerful, ‘the effect I have on all those I encounter in my work, my friends and family and on the street when I am simply my true self, expressing from my essence’.
What a lovely understanding and appreciation, ‘I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.’
We are indeed equipped to deal with any situation when we connect to our essence.
True Danna we are equipped with all that is presented to us, with our Essence
When we express what and how we actually feel, others can connect to that – and so we offer ourselves the potential for deeper connections and richer relationships. Going for it with our expression is the key to a far deeper and more expansive experience of living life.
Expressing what we actually feel rather than conforming to a template of what we think the other is wanting to hear (but usually aren’t) opens the door to true and real relationships, and the potential for everyone to grow and learn.
This is so inspiring Johanna and has deepened my appreciation for an experience I had this weekend of allowing myself to express from my essence with a friend and how we could both feel the impact of this not just on ourselves but on everyone around us and how now that we have this marker in our bodies we have a responsibility to share this with all.
What a lovely understanding and appreciation, ‘I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.’
Being connected to my essence feels very natural and settling, so much so that if I am looking for or expecting fireworks I miss out on the beauty this connection brings to others.
When we do connect to and express from our essence, our expression is so profoundly different… Our lives can never be the same
That is the key Johanna, staying in connection with our essence and expressing from our inner heart. I have found in my relationship with my husband lately, that there is a space to truly express what we are feeling no matter what, and I am amazed at what is being revealed to be understood and healed with a deeper offering of evolution available.
Holding back and lacing a relationship with pictures of how it should be is pure poison. I either comply and live a lie then explode in frustration or I go the opposite way (without communicating why I am doing what I am doing) and again get frustrated. Me being me in front of another intimately is still a learning curve but I appreciate having the space to learn and drop the expectations.
Connecting and expressing from our essence a much neglected and misunderstood science. If we placed more attention to deepening our relationship with ourselves, much of the world’s problems would be solved.
So true Kehinde as many of the world’s problems are the result of misunderstandings caused by lack of expression. As we deepen our relationship with ourselves this is reflected to others and they are offered the opportunity to explore a different way.
Recently I have been inspired by someone who just allows themselves to express all that they are feeling and in this it is freeing and very beautiful. When I observe them it allows me to feel the next steps that I could go to in myself.
Returning to our essence is the answer for all issues in life, I’ve felt this, experienced it and found myself coming back around to it but have yet to exhuast it. If there’s a problem in life I need to come back to my essence, and read this blog today to remind me! Thank you.
We are only scratching the surface of understanding the harm words do and holding back the words that are there to be spoken is just as impact-full on the body as expressing words without consideration for their ripple effect.
When we don’t express it is like everything builds up and we can find no way out of it, however, when we do express it is like there is space again and we are able to feel ourselves and what is true for us once more.
Sharing our expression is a great way to stay open and in touch with those we love so we can both evolve.
We are equipped to handle any situation when we are deeply connected to our essence. At times I have amazed myself with how I handled certain situations and this was due to the fact that I was connected to my essence and stayed open, honest and loving.
This blog helped me to feel how holding back sharing my feelings fully with my wife out of protection has really been a silly game considering all the amazing benefits to expressing fully as Johanna has described. The times that I have said how I felt even though it was a challenging subject, it has resulted in an evolution and greater understanding of everyone involved. So why not go for it?
What I love experiencing is just how freeing it is to openly express and share the truth I feel with others, to live and express from my essence, and how this allows a deeper connection to love develop for ourselves and with others, along with re-building trust in our relationships.
“…being honest, expressing it as it is for us, and expressing at the time it is needed”- this is so important to me as not only have I noticed that I have held back expressing “as it is for ” in fear of being rejected or misunderstood, but there have been other times where I felt it was not the right time to express what I was feeling, but instead of being patient I said it anyway just for a personal relief to’ get it off my chest’ and it was met with opposition and not accepted, as well as not as healing compared to if I waited for the right time.
Very much appreciated reading this treasure for relationships Johanna. I agree – it is treating yourself in the worth and knowing you are equal with all and also understanding yourself by your hurts knowing the difference between these and your vulnerability of expressing our sensitive you are. Honesty is the best medicine.
It is so exhausting not living our true self, yet if we have masked that true self because we needed a relationship to work then exposing ourselves may lead to losing that love. The brain is wired to fear such an enormous consequence so there are times where we will do and say anything to mask how we really feel to keep the peace. What you have shared here is an example of the joy, the love and the simplicity that comes from letting down those guards and layers of protection. It is worth also mentioning the abundance of energy that comes from letting down the guard too!!!
I had a situation yesterday where I could feel fury and resentment coming at me and instead of staying open I got hurt by it and shut down, this then further perpetuated what the person was in and created a bigger divide between us. I am really learning to say no to abuse but to stay open to the person.
The key to living our true and authentic selves is to express from who we are and not from who we think we should be.
Yes and to practice that as often as possible. It takes time to deconstruct the walls and barricades we have built in order to ensure we do not get hurt – only to find ourselves hurt because no-one ‘gets’ us.
What I have come to realise over the years of being in a relationship for 30 years is how our pictures of what it means to be married can influence the relationship without us even noticing, to the extent that it feels like there is another person or persons present within the relationship. These ideals and beliefs will just play out without being aired unless we make the conscious effort to out them with the intention to see if they are actually true or not.
There is so much to learn with being in relationships, how to communicate and express ourselves is huge, but what I love about this piece is the point you raise about knowing that there is love and a commitment to that love within the relationship that can hold you both together throughout the difficult times.
Imagine if we took away all the distractions/hobbies/avoiding eye contact/dramas/issues/dynamics we have in between relationships, what could we learn then?
We may think at times things are hopeless or all appears lost and while this maybe real at the time at some point this passes and we move on or it may become worse. What is important at these points is to stop and settle ourselves the best we can and look within for an answer or guidance on what is next. I know life may throw up some serious things but from experience these are the points to settle even deeper to bring understanding to what you are faced with. Life is far more then just a physical outplay of things that happen, there is a whole world of the energy behind these things. When we again tap into this energy part things begin to make sense and we expand in all that we do in fact know.
When we start to have an honest conversation with ourselves we can feel the truth and then we can express this truth with others.
When we start to express from who we truly are, it has an extraordinary ripple effect in our life, and on the lives of those around us.
We can get so preoccupied with looking outside of ourselves and ticking the boxes of the roles and societal expectations in the world around us that we forget that our qualities within, our essence conceives a far greater awareness and understanding of life that then allows us build and expand from the inside out.
Our expression in relationships is so important, there have been so many instances where I experienced things could have turned out differently or changed more quickly if I had simply expressed and been straight and truthful about what I felt, had seen or observed. We often only consider our expression in relation to us, but what if our expression could have a massive impact on another’s life?
Recently I have become increasingly aware of how not coming from my essence first and expressing makes life very messy. Comming from my body and how I feel is becoming the only way to be in life that doesn’t create an inner drama/tension/unease/withdrawal. In fact when I am with myself first I then love being with others.
“I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.” A great summation of love from it’s very essence Johanna and one that brings us back to the simplicity of our own connection to self and how that relationship then affects every other. Thank you.
Joanna, this is really helpful; ‘that it is okay to agree or disagree – that it is more about expressing.’ I can feel how there is a tendency to think we should agree in relationships and that we do not want to rock the boat or have any awkward situations and so we can hold back from expressing, I have done this and it doesn’t work and just creates feelings of bitterness and resentment, I feel the truth in what you are sharing that it is important to express whether we agree or disagree.
It is very beautiful to feel from what you have shared that in choosing love we say ‘yes’ to exploring, realising and confirming more of who we are, and say ‘no’ to what gets in the way of us being ourselves. When we say ‘yes’ to love we say ‘yes’ to evolution.
The essence of us all is united in one truth, and when humanity feels this there will be one unified truth
‘I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.’ Lovely to feel your appreciation of and connection to your essence and how this supports you in all your relationships and it inspires me to appreciate how re-connecting with my essence has deepened all the relationships I have including with myself.
For me building trust in myself has been key in allowing my expression to expand and to not hold back if I feel there is something I need to say. For too long I have kept quiet out of fear of ‘rocking the boat’ in all my relationships and I am currently living with the physical impact of this lack of expression on my body. As I am starting to let go of the layers of protection that have kept me imprisoned it has been beautiful to feel the many ways I am being supported through this process.
As I express with the intention of making it about love it can be quite revealing the truth exposed which I have chosen not to see. Being open to how a conversation unfolds can bring much clarity and wisdom to support the relationship and beyond.
The beauty of expression can simply mean observation knowing that an opportunity will arise if there is a call to verbally express. Responding with love and not saying anything at all is equally as beautiful as expressing love and appreciation for another.
I don’t live from my essence – but I do know honesty is key in any communication or relationship.
A beautiful inspiring blog, thank you Johanna, that is the key when we make it all about love, in connecting to our divine essence we can learn to trust and be open to share what is going on for us and with this openness and honesty a deeper level of love for each other can be expressed.
‘how much can be worked through quickly when we choose to make it about love’… making it about love always brings understanding and seeing the bigger picture around any situation or relationship, and from this space, what needs to be expressed for the other is so much clearer.
Expression allows a greater understanding and therefore I am finding it is easier to observe and not absorb another’s behaviour.
Expressing and claiming that you are equipped to handle any situation when you are connected to your essence is awesome and so true. We are given the biggest gift of all, and it’s extremely sad to see just how often we disregard it, and blatantly pretend it’s not there for the sake of keeping ourselves in misery. Here we have an example of another way.
A very honest and supportive blog offering so much love and understanding to where we can go: the truth about relationships and true love in expression as part of the way we live. Very inspiring and the true ability to express our feelings and share is something we all deeply want for our relationships, if we are honest, as we settle for so much less.
So easy to complicate relationships with hidden agenda’s, secret thoughts etc. I have also had these complications with myself! Underlying ideas and beliefs that run hidden within me, about me, somewhat like a program running in the background on a computer. Developing that loving, accepting and honouring relationship with myself with a willingness to listen, feel and see more of what I withhold even from myself has a large part to play in how I then am with others in any relationship.
Johanna, I too have experienced the ripple effects of expressing from our essence rather than from judgement, hurt, or beliefs. Rather than wait for another to be what we want them to be, or whenever we face separation or tension in a relationship we can choose to be the one who moves first. By simply expressing the love that we all are and being open and continuing to communication with others, without expectations, they begin to reflect the love offered. The focus is always ourselves not anyone else.
I have been observing that which is not true in my relationships. I have felt the frustration, agitation, the lies and falseness in knowing that there is more to my relationships than what I am seeing and living. I have also felt the frustration, agitation, lies and falseness within me from all the choices I have made in choosing to not express love and truth in my relationships. When I take responsibility and make it about me and my livingness then it is impossible to get emotional and blame another.
True Caroline, and I have experienced similar in past relationships. It is very easy when we feel frustrated or let down to look far afield and feel something is wrong ‘out there’. Humility comes with an understanding that we create what is ‘out there’. The focus is always ourselves first.
Isn’t it weird that we allow the elephants to keep walking around the room and do nothing to address them, scared that we might disturb the status quo, or the reaction that its going to bring up in the other person. But these elephants take up the available space, they are constantly treading on our toes and we are always having to go around them… in short they have a huge impact on our lives unless we start to address them, and once the conversation starts they never seem to be quite as big as they were in our imagination.
Thank you for sharing Johanna, you have beautifully demonstrated here that if we truly deepen our relationship with our partner we deepen our relationship with our self and others in the process.
This is great. I have been aware how I am holding back my expression at work and the impact this is having on my body and I have been wanting to change that, and I have been having a rehearsal up in my head that was all about asking others to change and this never felt true. And sure, the other thing I was aware of was how checked out I was most of time. It really is simply about reconnecting back to my essence and in my essence, I never have to plan a conversation or come up with an agenda, I know what to say.
The dedication that we need is to consistently work on our relationships. When I say this we think of counselling, long talks etc but it’s not that. If we have a mark for how we feel, a settled or still feeling and connected like I get with the Gentle Breath Meditation http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/gentle-breath-meditation/what-is-gentle-breath-meditation.html then anytime we feel this disturbed or this connection is lost or not there then we dedicate to returning to our mark or stillness before our next step. This is all done to the best of our ability but this is our dedication, it make take days or hours or minutes to return but the return is the important part. We aren’t done there and upon the return then the pondering of why we left, this may not be a direct question answer like we are used to but more of an unfolding question and answer or in other words a relationship. This is the work we do on relationship and notice it had reflections from other people but it didn’t rely on them being or doing anything for you and yet everything you bring from this way of being comes back to us all.
Inspiring to re-read your post Johanna. “I appreciate my essence and have an unwavering knowing that I am actually equipped to handle any situation when I choose to stay with myself.” Expressing ourselves fully is so important. Miscommunications and difficulties can arise when we don’t do so.
Learning to express what we feel without being afraid to be shut down, rejected, not agreed on etc is huge!
Even though I don’t really understand the words in this blog, I feel what you are saying is about building trust with one another and allowing yourselves to be, to not play any games.
What you have shared really relates to all relationships, I can see how the lack of openness and expression causes problems, it’s like we push the “pause button” on the depths of love and understanding we can share simply from not sharing how we feel.
It is so true Melinda – which is crazy right? As who we are in essence is so ‘out of this world’ gorgeous it doesn’t make sense why we choose to ‘push the “pause button”’, resist letting it out, and sharing ourselves with the world.
What you describe here is enormous as you show how and that it is possible to truly grow together and with that not only deepen your relationship with one but with everyone else.
We often think that we need to overcome things, work through things, conquer things when truly life is about unfolding what we have put in the way of ourselves. Often we think there is an end to something, even slightly which brings about a need to get to somewhere and then rest. Like with expressing, appreciate how it feels but see it as an ongoing cycle that we don’t need to make up for the past or hope it is better in the future we only need stay present and express what we are feeling and then from there do the same again and again and again, no end and always unfolding to the next point.
I love how this article explores the truth, honesty, intimacy and integrity that can be shared between people when one chooses to live from their essence.
We are so much more connected to a commonly held truth than we can ever imagine and when we allow this connection to be in our relationships we create heaven on earth so to say as we start to appreciate one another for all the qualities we bring and enrich the lives of all of us.
“How much can be worked through quickly when we choose to make it about love” – this one is for me. As I was reading this, one particular friendship came to my mind – the one I treasure and feel a potential of deepening, yet there’s a friction I have been sensing in-between, then I could feel how I don’t think there’s enough trust between us to take our expression to the next level like you and your husband did, and I can feel how much I actually hold back in most of my relationships. Your sharing here is very inspiring, Johanna. Thank you.
When we choose to live from our essence our relationships naturally flourish because there is no trying, no neediness, no push, no emotional drama and the list goes on. Living from our essence is the most healing and powerful way to live and this is accessible to us all.
This is such a powerful testimony of how we are constantly offered the opportunity to heal, grow and evolve through our relationships are whenever we are willing to surrender to the truth of our love. Re-buiding trust in expressing our truth with another is what confirms our lightness of being, not only for ourselves but also in all our relationships. Thank you Johanna for sharing and showing us how honesty is the foundation through which love freely flourishes.
Developing absolute trust in relationships allows the truth of all you feel to be expressed.
Heart meltingly beautiful, thankyou Johanna. Very inspiring to read through all you have shared and your deepening trust of yourself and humanity. I particularly liked this point “that it is okay to agree or disagree – that it is more about expressing.” as this confirms that it’s more about being true to ourselves and making it about love, learning together and accepting differences, as well as not compromising our true expression. We can feel that we don’t want to upset others so it’s better to not say how we feel, yet by doing so we compromise the most beautiful potential of a true connection with another. Being real and loving is much better than being polite.
In a nutshell as I read this one of the keys to a healthy relationship with another is to express and honour how we feel, how our bodies feel to express in the relationship and not get in the way with the things we want, expect or need the situation to be. To me it feels like a surrender of the small picture that it has to look a certain way or that we have to be a certain way in that relationship and be open to what a relationship could feel like rather than focusing on the visual outplay. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing those experiences. It is a revelation to me quite how much happens when we open up and trust, not expecting anything in return. To have two people doing that with each other has an incredible ripple effect.
‘This has set a new marker for me, not only in my relationship with my husband, but with the way I relate to others. I appreciate how being in connection with and trusting my essence holds all the tools to love and to relating to others that I will ever need.’ Beautifully expressed and very true Johanna, relationships are everything in life and the more we learn to drop our protection and feel open to express to another the more joy and love we naturally feel.