For a while now I have heard people talk of being in a relationship with themselves and committing to themselves. I liked the sound of it but I had no real understanding of what that actually meant.
This morning while I was sitting on the floor folding my washing, I had a light bulb moment. I suddenly felt what that was.
I work on my relationships with others: I work on my reactions to them, how I speak to them, how I am with them, even how I touch them. But do I do the same to myself? I was a little shocked when I realised it was a big fat “NO”.
I am willing to commit to others, commit to working on my relationship with them, how we are together and work through what comes up. But do I have this same level of commitment with myself? Again… “No.”
For a while I have been saying that I work on my relationship with me, but if I am honest, I place my relationship with myself at the bottom of the pile. I get very little attention. I have fantastic self-care and self-love, which has developed and continues to develop in a beautiful way over the last few years. On a physical level, I have a great level of care for myself that is forever deepening, and I can appreciate many of my innate qualities. But it has stopped somewhere around here. I am not deepening my relationship with myself, or even acknowledging it.
So today, as I sat folding my washing, I began to ponder how it would be if I placed my relationship with me first. I am not above others, but what if I came first? Would I let myself be racy and push myself too hard to get everything done? Would I move my body in a way that was disregarding? Would I stay in emotional reaction when I know how much it hurts my body? Would I give myself a hard time for saying something wrong or acting in the way that wasn’t the greatest? I wouldn’t do these things with others so why am I doing them to myself?
I am far more conscious of how I am in relationship with others, yet somewhere along the way I have lost sight of how I am with myself. Which, if you think about it, is absolutely crazy as I’m with me 24/7. I don’t get a break from me.
And as for making this commitment to myself, it has been quite easy in the past when similar thoughts have come through to say, “Oh, yeah, I’ll look at that later.” But with no commitment, I was easily distracted away from me.
But what if I am the most amazing person, and I want to be around me all of the time? Am I willing to work on my relationship with myself and commit to it so that I can get the joy of being with me all day long?
You bet!
The awareness I have in my life and the changes I have made and continue to make are greatly because of Serge Benhayon, by whom I have been deeply inspired.
By Nikki McKee, Goonellabah
Further Reading:
Commitment to Self – Commitment to Life
Returning to our essence
A Sacred Relationship with Self – Inspired by Natalie Benhayon
658 Comments
Relationships have to start with ourselves first because as we learn to fly and hold being present with all we do, then that is a reflection that others get then because we are reflecting a deeper version of ourselves then they to understand that they to can take of and explore the inner-self and sore to a new way of being.
I agree with you Greg a relationship starts with ourselves first it’s a forever deepening into the intelligence that resides within us. But how do we get to this innermost or essence? Well for me it was by being honest with myself and letting go of all the protection I have built around me to try and protect myself from the world. We all carry hurts that keep us in the separation to our inner most and yet it is our inner most, that connection to God that is our relationship with ourselves when this is felt our relationships with everyone changes, as once we reconnect to the love of God it is very natural to express it to everyone else.
Relationships in my life too have so greatly improved and I know much of this is because of the inspiration I have found from Serge Benhayon
Many people do what you describe in this blog, ‘I am far more conscious of how I am in relationship with others, yet somewhere along the way I have lost sight of how I am with myself’, when really all relationships start with the relationship we have with self, so it makes sense to put yourself first.
Thank you Nikki for writing about this much overlooked condition which many of us suffer from. For me now, life is about being in loving relationships with everyone inclusive of the true and real me.
I can feel why at times it is so uncomfortable to be with me, with myself. It is because it is then that I feel I am not living all of who I am that makes me feel uncomfortable with myself. And because I am 24/7 with me I try to numb this feeling as a way of escape, instead of just to be with it and let more of myself to unfold.
Although we at times think that the outer world is our greatest enemy, it appears to be our thoughts that bring the hard and harsh judgements towards ourselves that hurts the most.
‘How it would it to put myself first?’ Not in a way where I’m above anyone else but where I value myself and my body as an equal part of the whole; an equal to absolutely everyone else.. inspiration to take into today; thank you.
I love this sentence and am so inspired by it “But what if I am the most amazing person, and I want to be around me all of the time? Am I willing to work on my relationship with myself and commit to it so that I can get the joy of being with me all day long?” I am appreciating much more how others enjoy spending time with me, so its definitley time I did the same!
It makes sense that if we are building our relationships that we need to take ourselves into consideration also. Sometimes I feel that we can put ourselves on the back burner and make others more important.
Thank you for the inspiration to celebrate the joy of being with myself.
And that celebration will be never-ending, as I never will be not with myself.
“But what if I am the most amazing person, and I want to be around me all of the time?” When we stop to appreciate this truth we realise that there is an equal quality in everyone else.