For a while now I have heard people talk of being in a relationship with themselves and committing to themselves. I liked the sound of it but I had no real understanding of what that actually meant.
This morning while I was sitting on the floor folding my washing, I had a light bulb moment. I suddenly felt what that was.
I work on my relationships with others: I work on my reactions to them, how I speak to them, how I am with them, even how I touch them. But do I do the same to myself? I was a little shocked when I realised it was a big fat “NO”.
I am willing to commit to others, commit to working on my relationship with them, how we are together and work through what comes up. But do I have this same level of commitment with myself? Again… “No.”
For a while I have been saying that I work on my relationship with me, but if I am honest, I place my relationship with myself at the bottom of the pile. I get very little attention. I have fantastic self-care and self-love, which has developed and continues to develop in a beautiful way over the last few years. On a physical level, I have a great level of care for myself that is forever deepening, and I can appreciate many of my innate qualities. But it has stopped somewhere around here. I am not deepening my relationship with myself, or even acknowledging it.
So today, as I sat folding my washing, I began to ponder how it would be if I placed my relationship with me first. I am not above others, but what if I came first? Would I let myself be racy and push myself too hard to get everything done? Would I move my body in a way that was disregarding? Would I stay in emotional reaction when I know how much it hurts my body? Would I give myself a hard time for saying something wrong or acting in the way that wasn’t the greatest? I wouldn’t do these things with others so why am I doing them to myself?
I am far more conscious of how I am in relationship with others, yet somewhere along the way I have lost sight of how I am with myself. Which, if you think about it, is absolutely crazy as I’m with me 24/7. I don’t get a break from me.
And as for making this commitment to myself, it has been quite easy in the past when similar thoughts have come through to say, “Oh, yeah, I’ll look at that later.” But with no commitment, I was easily distracted away from me.
But what if I am the most amazing person, and I want to be around me all of the time? Am I willing to work on my relationship with myself and commit to it so that I can get the joy of being with me all day long?
The awareness I have in my life and the changes I have made and continue to make are greatly because of Serge Benhayon, by whom I have been deeply inspired.
By Nikki McKee, Goonellabah