I never knew what a true relationship was until I met Serge Benhayon and saw how he was with his family and everyone he came in contact with. I observed this deeply from afar – almost wishing that I could be part of something so beautiful. I remember thinking at the time, “Wow, that’s love in its fullest form.”
What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.
The way the family members would come together and eat – the way they moved towards each other and the way they cared so deeply for each other – was so beautiful. There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. It was the love I had always wanted from my own family and the love that everyone seeks.
In the beginning I thought that love was reserved for others and not for me and that I could not be a part of that love. I also wanted to be part of Serge’s family – failing to see that I had my own family around me, and not only my direct family members but also my friends, work colleagues, flatmate and even the people I met casually on a day to day basis.
I remember sitting with an elderly lady at a bus stop one day and she was telling me she felt lonely. My reply was that you are never alone – there is always someone there, we just need to be open to everyone and treat each and every one of us with the absolute care and respect that we all deserve.
Even within my own direct family I have two Mums because one of my Mum’s best friends is a widow with no family and I have always included her in every family gathering and treated her the same as I would my own Mother; to me she is family – she’s part of my life and hence she is someone I value and care for.
Recently I discovered that I had feelings for a friend of mine I’ve known for quite some time but always dismissed because I never felt it would work on a practical level, given he lives on the other side of the world. I’ve always felt a connection to him but because of the logistics, I held back from expressing my feelings or developing the relationship further.
Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely, to be more open and honest with how I feel about all the people in my life. To see people for who they are and to appreciate the qualities they bring to me and to everyone else – sometimes when they can’t see it themselves.
So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times. It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.
So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.
This blog was inspired after many years of knowing, observing and learning with Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and his family members, who are a great example for developing and expanding our own family and how we are within that family to develop love for all.
By Fiona Shuttleworth, Sales Assistant, Brighton, East Sussex, UK
Further Reading:
Serge Benhayon
Letting People In – True Love for All
Seeking Connection and True Relationships
778 Comments
Prior to my involvement in UM I had not come across a true way of relating to others being lived. Now I have seen and felt the difference it helps set standards and question what has been accepted. As well as appreciating how much my relationships have changed with everyone in my life.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities…” What great words Fiona, having expectations or criticism holds people with such a narrow focus, instead of holding the whole person and loving all of them. We can also then nurture and support people in the areas they are not strong in.
Thank You Fiona, Love grows within as a forever deepening way of Loving and is an internalisation of the True Sacredness that is our responsibility, our responsibility for everything is Sacredness it could be said.
Without appreciation relationship will be so stale. Bringing in deep appreciation for another is the foundation for something truly heavenly.
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ This is so simple and from my experience is absolutely true’
Fiona, I love your description of a true relationship – this is really beautiful; ‘ It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.’
Why can’t we all be like this with one another, ‘There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. ‘
Its a great question that I keep asking myself – how to be love, the same love with everyone at any given point of time. The answer I keep coming back to is that I have a responsibility to make sure that I am in love, and then that offer is available to everyone. When I feel a difference then I know something is up and so how am I holding back or what is going on?
Fiona, this is really gorgeous; ‘It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.’ This is super helpful and makes me realise how important it is to hold others in love and not react or judge their behaviours – thank you for the reminder.
What a different place the world would be if we were like this with everyone, ‘how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us’.