Fatherhood for me began 22 years ago at the age of 33. Our first child, a beauty-full daughter, was born at home on a Wednesday around 8:30pm. At the time I could feel that this was a divine moment, one that I would never have experienced without choosing to have children.
I clearly remember how completely hopeless I felt when the midwives and nurses left our house – I had never taken care of a baby before in my life. That night I had to change her nappy and I felt how fragile and helpless she was; and I felt my own uncertainty about what to do.
From that night on I also began to identify myself with my new role of ‘father’, but failed to feel what the true meaning of this was for me. Instead, I just did what I felt was expected of me to qualify as a ‘good father’. As our child grew up I tried to form and guide her to suit my ideals of what I felt I needed to make of her.
When I write it like that now I feel how arrogant it was of me, wanting to mould a child to my ideals and beliefs and not let them grow up in their true nature. Is this what we are actually doing when we parent, in contrast to providing a loving connection where a child will be met and seen for who they truly are?
An interesting set of questions now arises:
Where did these ideals and beliefs about being ‘a good father’ come from?
Is it possible they are provided by society (family and friends, school, TV, magazines, books, health professionals, etc), and that I chose to adopt them to be a ‘good father’? I was not consciously aware of the fact that I was using ideals and beliefs at all, let alone considering that they could have been ‘delivered’ to me.
What did I choose from the package of fatherhood ‘pictures’ which were presented to me?
Did I look for a certain type of fatherhood picture I was familiar with or did I select some on purpose, because they suited me the best, in order to not be confronted with the responsibility that comes with feeling and making my own choices?
Why was I looking for a fatherhood picture in the first place?
Could it be that I was looking for recognition and acceptance for being a good father, instead of trusting the love and wisdom within me to be my guide?
Given all of this, was it then possible that:
Everything in society is set up for me to doubt myself and ‘believe’ what I am told, instead of trusting what I know and feel deep inside?
Although I was not aware of it at the time, in my uncertainty of how to be a father I followed a fatherhood picture, taking on ideals and beliefs like…
- As the parent I have to mould my child to make them ‘valuable for society’. If I do not, the child will be lost to society.
- I will be the provider and carer for everything my children need; I will be always there for them.
- I am the parent, therefore superior to the child, the subordinate.
- I have to support them in all that they do, even if it is something I don’t agree with.
- My children are perfect; my children do not behave badly.
- They must have the same ambitions in life as I have.
- I will be the perfect father for my children, they will not want for anything and I will show that to the world.
- I have to be proud of them.
- My children have to listen to me because I am their father.
- I will have an “I know what is good for you” attitude, and so on.
But this makes me wonder:
If all these fatherhood ideals and beliefs are not me, because I have taken them on from outside of me, what then is the real me and the real father in me?
The answer for me has been to slowly unravel all my fatherhood pictures, to become aware of them and discard them, one by one. Through this discarding of what is not me I am becoming more true, more who I really am – which is much, much more than just being a ‘good father’!
This now reflects in my deepening connection with my children – a connection that is based on a true equalness, and a deep trust in myself and in what I feel.
I would like to thank Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, whose presentations have inspired me to become a truer father.
By Nico van Haastrecht, father of three, Warnsveld, the Netherlands
403 Comments
Very clear message….for me, it is to question any assumptions I have about life and the roles that I take on…Great to read how powerful the change can be when being honest.
In the past I had felt let down by my father, as I have grown into an adult I have learnt to understand were he is at in life and not put expectations on him. This has supported our relationship and it has grown to be one of understanding and mutual respect. To learn to live every relationship through Love rather than a Role is a great inspiration. Thank you.
Such a truly beautiful article to read, thank you for sharing this Nico
What a gorgeous blog Nico. I can feel the openness to a real way of fathering you have allowed by discarding all those beliefs. I have seen fathers who have desperately tried to live up to their beliefs about what it is to be a good father. Some of these beliefs are so unrealistic that they cannot be lived out which can leaves both parties feeling like they somehow failed and are not good enough to warrant the title father or daughter or son.
From reading your blog I am asking myself, what are my beliefs about being a good daughter and do I berate myself in any way because I do not live up to those beliefs? In the past I know I have berated my father for not living up to my beliefs about what a good father should be like. I feel there is further healing to be had for us both by my looking at this again more deeply. Thank you for inspiring this.
Hi Nico, I especially appreciate how you have made it so clear that the ideals of parenting are not actually that useful or even appropriate when raising children. And the strength with which you write about just being yourself and trusting what you feel, that to me feels like true parenting, and is very inspiring.
Hi Shami, thank you for raising this point since it is an on going process of unwrapping myself from the ideals and beliefs I have build around being a good father. The other day I was experiencing some issues with one of my children and once again I was confronted with the harm I had done by the way I have parented, from these ideals and beliefs. It is such a blessing when I am able to see in honesty what is in front of me and that I can go from there with the understanding and acceptance; when I allow and trust my feelings. Communicating from my feelings always comes from equalness and is looking for true evolvement of us and of the relations we are in.
I’ve noticed that as a father, when we invest in our children growing up to some ideal we have held they should be, it only holds them back from and allowing them to be themselves in full. It’s like we make things more complicated than they need to be.
Thank you Nico for this exposing and inspiring blog – how we can fall so easily into certain behaviour ‘traps’ through a mental image/picture of how ‘it should be’. This opened up further awareness for me of how damaging on any relationships this mental picture is across the board – good daughter, good son, good wife, good student, good husband, good mother…. when all we truly need is a relationship with ourself first to bring true qualities to all other relationships.
Nico there is so much to consider here. All the pictures we buy into as parents and the expectations we have of our parents, which will be smashed if they do not deliver. This is such a huge and important topic, thank you Nico.
Wow. An amazing, honest and very clear expose of how we can fall for a picture a mental image of what a ‘good father’ is. As a father myself I can relate to most of your list of ideals and beliefs and great question to ask ‘where do they really come from?’ And why are they any better than trusting my own inner wisdom? I can also relate to your point that the best form of parenting is simply getting out of the way and allowing and encouraging a child to naturally develop into who they really are rather than who I want them to be or appear to the world to make me look good.
Absolutely Andrew, ‘the best form of parenting is simply getting out of the way and allowing and encouraging a child to naturally develop into who they really are rather than who I want them to be or appear to the world to make me look good’. How freeing is this for the child. To simply meet and love them for who they naturally are, without any expectations.
Nico this is an article that has made me think about how I’ve taken on the ‘role’ of motherhood. I too have doubted myself and often read books about parenting rather than trusting my own feelings.
I can certainly relate to much of what you have all shared here. It’s no wonder men in general are so lost and out of touch with who we naturally are when ideals demanding how we ‘should’ be abound; to be a good: man, father, husband, son, brother, friend, worker, student, etc… They are really rammed down your throat from such a young age. To simply let go of all that and allow myself to be the naturally tender and gorgeous man I am has been, and still is, a most empowering and liberating process.
I feel the same as a woman and a mother, sister, daughter, etc. there are so many boxes to tick if we wanted to live that way. But nothing compares to letting go of all of these criteria and just enjoying being me.
Beautifully written, Nico. Thank you for sharing.
I agree Conor a great article to reflect on that gives us a different perspective of what being a “good” father is really all about.
Hi Nico, I found this beautiful to read and feel – I was feeling how the love you have developed in you has allowed this honest and open review of parenting. It is incredible the arrogance we have about knowing what is best for our child without consulting the child. All those ideals and beliefs as you say we take on board from our own parents, the media and society in general. The presentations from Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom have been an inspiration to me too which has meant I have begun to develop a true connect to self and love and started to use that connection to reflect on how I live and how truly I love.
It is great what you have felt and shared here especially “Where did these ideals and beliefs about being ‘a good father’ come from?” for me I could relate this to many different roles not just about it being a good father but how in the past I have automatically taken on roles as daughter, sister, auntie without first truly connecting to my relationship with that person and coming from there. Without first truly connecting to me. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Nico, for so beautifully exposing the madness of choosing not to feel or ponder the roles we take on and just absorbing a rule book from somewhere ‘out there’. And then how sweet and simple it is when we let go and allow our true nature to inspire the way we live and relate to our children and everyone else.
Hi Matilda, I love the way you call it ‘the madness of choosing not to feel or ponder’ and how ‘sweet and simple’ it can be when we let go of looking for solutions somewhere ‘out there’. For me I can feel this deeply now to be true. When I was looking for solutions ‘out there’ it only ever brought me some level of recognition from another I was looking at, not any true clarity that I now feel from within.
Nico, this is a great article and I thank you for your beautiful honesty. It’s a blessing for all men, women and children to hear and feel such honesty. You’re expression is gorgeous. What strikes me about your article is how massively complicated we make it! Isn’t it fascinating that the road to true parenting is actually ALL about LETTING GO. Yet, as a parent that is exactly the opposite of what we do. All along the journey, and it starts way, way before the child is even born, we are collecting images, ideals, beliefs, hurts, doubts, dreams, hopes, fears, goals etc… thousands and thousands of bits of baggage that weigh us down and crush us – that’s the true reason we are exhausted as parents – not the sleepless nights!! But what your blog has explained and what I am learning myself as a parent, is that the more I let go of all the externally imposed garbage, the truer a parent I become. It’s super simple. I have it all. Just be me. Thank you Nico for your inspiration. I shall be returning to this blog often!!
Thank you Otto, it is indeed all about letting go of that what is not me and that not only frees my energy and vitality but also releases my physical body of the constant tension, pains and strains that are there to hold the taken on ideals and beliefs. It is indeed very simple if I allow myself to feel who I truly am and stop looking outwards to what the world expects me to be.
Yes Otto I can relate to how we complicate things and the expectations of how things ‘should’ be start way before the child is born.
I love your point Otto and it’s true. Trying to keep up with all the checklists in our heads of how and when to do things for our children can frazzle your brain and drain your body. How liberating to know none of it is needed just the real essence of you.
So true Otto, I love what you have shared about it being all our ideals etc. that we try to live up to that cause our exhaustion as parents. It is a constant work-in-progress for me to let go of what I am Not, and to parent simply from who I am.
This is Beautiful Nico. Great sharing and a lot of insights about relationships and especially parenting. Also what you astutely outline, the extent to which we can take on ideals and beliefs that do not belong in our heart and we run with them at the expense of our true expression – this can just as easily be applied to any aspect of life. You provide a great way of asking ourself questions to clarify it for ourself. Thank you.
Yes Golnaz, as you say this can be applied to all aspects of life. For me when I ask myself if what ever I am doing feels right for me or not, most the time it is my body that gives me clear answers, that I then live by and with that am able to let go of the old that is not me.
Beautiful Nico, what an expose on parenting! It feels so exhausting to set foot on this conveyor belt of manufacturing and delivering perfect children! Thank you for your deep honesty in sharing your journey and how beautiful to know and feel that deepening connection and love you are building with all the members of your family, from a place of equality rather than authority. What a huge blessing to the world.
Hi Nico, wow I really felt the amount of pressure parents take on from the ideals and beliefs we have around children, how liberating that you have begun to let all this go and live from what you know is true, rather than what you’re told is true.
Thank you Nico for so honestly sharing about your journey through parenthood and that you now have “a connection that is based on a true equalness, and a deep trust in myself and in what I feel.”
I remember when I first had my daughter being anxious of being found out as ‘not a good mother’, I felt to support her to explore her own path but didn’t have the confidence to follow through with that. She has come back to live with me as an adult in the last year and we have both found it challenging but are gradually establishing a relationship based on more honest communication. She also helps me to care for my elderly father who I have spent most of my life in reaction to but feel that this time with him has been very healing as we have both been letting go of our ideals about what a ‘Good Father’ looks like.
It so amazing to read this Helen and I know that the more I am learning to simply be myself and communicate honestly and gently, the more healing it brings to my whole family. Years of guardedness and defence from deep hurts are falling away, to be replaced by simple straight forward conversations with no agenda. Whether we are parent or child, we all have a responsibility to simply be ourselves and be honest and caring towards one another, without any expectations. Life is much lovelier when we do.
This is a great article, Nico, and great questions that you ask. It has stimulated me to dig deeper as to how I relate to being a father by asking these questions. Thank you for the inspiration.
Your blog is so clear and beautifully expressed, Nico, and reminds me to keep working with the ever ongoing and deepening relationship with my own children, (now in their forties). We are still letting go of the ties, but as we do our relationships become far more honest, equal and harmonious. And the ties are about investing in the identity of “mother”, “daughter”, “son” first before being ourselves in who we truly are. So then it is generational as I consider my relationship with my father and mother, long since passed over, and find I am still working with that. From a simple beginning, “What made me a Good Father”, you have widened and deepened and made it relevant for us all, thank you.
My mother is still alive, age 90 and it is beautiful to be able to appreciate her as a person and being able to let go off the previous frustration and resentment I held previously.
We have both learnt much from the harm the ideal ‘good mother and good daughter’ syndrome played out in our lives and continue to explore this to bring more awareness and love into our interactions.
It is a great thing when we are able to acknowledge that what we have lived has not been true but was there because we were not aware of it. By becoming aware of the fact that our parents too lived a life based on the the ideals and beliefs which were told to them by there family and communities they were part of, we are able to see through these falsities and can reconnect to our true connection based on love.
Yes Nico, Awareness is a true key for bringing us insights into what is actually not true. As my own awareness has deepened (and continues to do so), so many old outdated ideals and beliefs are no longer’ able to bind me up causing such grief and perceived struggle.
Thank you Nico, this is very inspiring to read. I can relate to what you have written, when I had my son I wanted to be a ” good mother” and drove myself crazy listening to advice from health care professionals, family and friends. There was so much different advice I felt lost as to know what to believe. In the end I began to learn to trust myself and make my own decisions and so things changed and I begun to truly connect with myself and my son. The experience of raising a child was then completely different and became most of the time, enjoyable, playful and amazing.
I love this blog Nico – you know why – because it’s sooo relatable to all relationships. What a beautiful opportunity you’ve given yourself and us all in exploring how relationships can be based on True Love.
Exactly Shevon great point. With all types of relationships we can often go in wanting them to be a certain way, wanting to mould it into a way that suits us – how arrogant that feels. Yet what an amazing way to also relate what Nico has written to having real relationships not just “good” suitable ones.
Nico, In reading your blog I really felt where that harmful paper dragon, FEAR, comes from. It is born of the emptiness when we abandon our true innate knowing and then fed when we take in the outer belief systems in search of guidance which we are, then, not feeling within. I cried at the end where you express that you have come back to your own senses, your own truth and to Love. So healing.
Jo, I love the simple and powerful way you have exposed fear here –
“… that harmful paper dragon, FEAR, comes from. It is born of the emptiness when we abandon our true innate knowing and then fed when we take in the outer belief systems in search of guidance which we are, then, not feeling within”
Nico this line says it all “Everything in society is set up for me to doubt myself and ‘believe’ what I am told, instead of trusting what I know and feel deep inside,” and then of course we raise children who don’t know how to trust themselves as they have had role models who don’t trust themselves. What a massive set up! Great to be beginning to free yourself of these constraints of ideals and beliefs. I too am slowly developing that trust in myself so I can too parent from a connection to me and then to the other. It is so much more freeing! And Loving!!!
That is so true Vanessa, we don’t trust ourselves, so of course that then gets passed on to our children and we perpetuate the doubt. I have enjoyed reading all the comments on this blog as it shows its a topic that needs to be more openly discussed. Even though my children are now adults I can still feel how I have expectations and constraining beliefs around parenting.
I don’t have children but these ideals and beliefs around family play out in my relationships nonetheless the examples of expectations and wanting things or people to be different.
There are that much ideals and beliefs around us of how we should be with family and in relationships it that it is almost impossible to not adapt one of these when we are not aware of this fact and as you say Elaine, then it even does not matter if you have children or not, we almost all have images of how we should be as a parent.
You are an inspiration to all men Nico, and I too love you dearly. You hold an amazing quality that is strong and powerful so this article is just one way of confirming that.
Beautifully written. Thank you for your honest sharing Nico.
Hi Nico, what a great sharing on such a fundamental topic. I’ve been very inspired by this along with Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon as true role models of being a father. The points you raise about the fatherhood picture are massive. Where did these things come from and just what are they for? As I’m not yet a father I’ve not taken much time to consider these points, yet if I do – a similar set of how would I be as a father comes up. A great point to reflect on, as when I look after children I get the same things come up and the fear of what to do. Thank you.
Amazing Nico – imagine if all parents were like you, the world would be a very different place. I don’t have children as yet, but many of my friends do and I have watched many of them struggle through taking little care of themselves. It’s hard but ultimately the lack of self care leads to this being taken out on the child however long later. This results in stressed out parents and kids who are both relieved by TV and sugar to get them through. However, meeting lots of parents associated with Universal Medicine and seeing how they have introduced self-care for themselves and how they raise and treat their kids and what the end result is, in that by teenage years they are full of love and beauty and able to be a real shining light at school and in those challenging times you go through as a child and young adult, I am now beginning to consider parenthood myself. The impact we can have on children by showing them love for who they are and not what they do is huge and is the foundation for humanity sorting itself out for sure.
Thanks Nico for the blog, and great comment Rachael – I love your last point “the impact we can have on children by showing them love for who they are and not what they do is huge and is the foundation for humanity sorting itself out for sure”…. You have just solved much of the world’s exhaustion and stress – from trying to live up to what is expected of people to ‘do’ instead of just ‘being’, as we have (not so cleverly) learned to do as children.
Beautifully written Nico. What a wonderful set of questions you asked yourself. If every father stopped to ask what it truly means to be a father without the ideals and beliefs of how you should be, what amazing children we would have in the world today.
Thanks for this article Nico. It is a great reminder that there is another way to parenting.
Yes the ideals and beliefs we take on are so capping of ourselves and so damaging to others. I am learning more and more that the true art of parenting is simply to be myself and maintain a consistent loving quality in what I do and simply allow my children to express from their naturalness with no preconceived ideas about how they should be doing it. Firm boundaries definitely but no capping on expression…
Greatly said, it proves difficult sometimes as I catch myself trying to steer my children in a certain direction, but as you say there’s a difference between boundaries and expression.
“Everything in society is set up for me to doubt myself and ‘believe’ what I am told, instead of trusting what I know and feel deep inside” – this is true Nico, thank you for your wonderful sharing. It is a blog that would benifit every father and mother to read as society is plagued with ideals and beliefs on parenting that do nothing but hold us back.
“….. life is about love and nothing else – that in life, is all we need.” Beauty-full!
Thank you Nico, I also tried to be the good father sacrificing who I was, to become something I was not. I can feel the truth in your statement, “Through this discarding of what is not me I am becoming more true, more who I really am – which is much, much more than just being a ‘good father’.”
Hi Steve, it is really beautiful what we are able to expose in all aspects of being a man. One of these is being the good father. Thanks to the teachings and immense support available from Universal Medicine and their associated practitioners we are able do this now and become more and more who we truly are.
Pow – Steve you nailed it right there for me. I have tried and tried to be a good somebody in so many of my relationships and always ending up being something that I am not. This is particularly true as a father, and obviously begs the question “who is Dad”. That has been a big ouch for me in exposing the ideals and beliefs.
“Who is Dad” These three words really stood out to me Simon, for the longest time had I ever of been asked such a question I would say I would not have been comfortable or confident in answering such. Yes I know who my Dad is but since both him and I along with the rest of our family have each been willing to look at ourselves underneath the roles we may play. Each to various degrees and by no means perfect but I can now say that I have a greater sense of “who is Dad” now more than ever as I am allowing myself to feel more the person underneath the roles of ‘good this or that’. That true person doesn’t even compare to the actor of whatever role anyone may take on and this is something that is building the more I feel me under anything I may pretend to be.
I really enjoyed this blog, thank you Nico. I was particularly struck by your question, ‘Did I look for a certain type of fatherhood picture I was familiar with or did I select some on purpose’. I had not thought to ask this sort of question about all of the roles and beliefs that I have taken on.
Catherine, it is really interesting to investigate the reason for choosing a fatherhood picture or any picture we choose, as an ideal or belief to take on.
What holds us from living our true selves?
Recently I found that I held a belief because I did not want to take the responsibility to stop the abuse that I had in the relationship with my son. With the abuse I mean there was inequality in our relation because of the father/son belief, resulting in not meeting each other in truth. Physically this acted out in being disrespectful to each other and not being prepared to truly listen to what we have to say to one another. When we allow ourselves to truly feel this form of abuse we can feel that this hurts as much as physical abuse.
I was in the belief that by not taking the responsibility and say stop to the abuse, I was keeping the harmony in this relationship, and at the same time I allowed the abuse to continue and even expand, ouch.
Catherine and Nico I too pondered on this question and not just around family, do we subconsciously choose an ideal or belief on purpose to keep ourselves from being honest and not looking at what needs to be addressed? Recently I have caught myself doing this quite a lot and it is very insiduous and I can only really see the belief after the event. I love your honesty and understanding Nico, we do not always see being disrespectful as abuse but it is, and allowing it to continue unchecked can cause the in-equality and separation between two people .
Well said Nico. Ideals, beliefs and expectations cause havoc in relationships.
I can certainly relate to your ‘ouch’ here – “I was in the belief that by not taking the responsibility and say stop to the abuse, I was keeping the harmony in this relationship, and at the same time I allowed the abuse to continue and even expand, ouch”.
Yes, ouch, the ‘anything to keep the peace’ which actually doesn’t truly support anyone.
The pictures that we hold onto and take on are laced with all these ideals and beliefs which have a major impact in our relationships with others as well as ourselves. Yes it is time to let go of them one by one as you say to allow us to be who we naturally are. Thanks for sharing Nico.
Thank you Natalie, we only need to be ourselves and that will do all what’s needed. When we put a picture in place instead, we will keep the others and ourselves from being who we naturally are and continue to contribute to all the relationship issues we have all over the world.
Dear Nico, there is so much wisdom in your words. That being a responsible parent involves nominating and clearing any beliefs and ideals out of the way so we can be ourselves and able to simply connect and meet our children as equals. And as you say this affects all our relationships and the way we are together in society. Thank you, Nico.
A fabulous article that applies equally to motherhood too. We grow up with so many ideas of how we should do things only to find out they were never really true.
So true Jenny. Ideal and beliefs are so restricting. It can be applied in all relationships. Looking back I can see how I acted this out with looking for a partner… holding onto a belief that they needed to have some of my Father’s qualities. However, I am seeing the ideals and beliefs more clearly now and with honesty for what they are. Great article Nico, thank you – lots of food for thought.
Hi Nico, A clear and honest description of the process (the disregarding and letting go of old ideals, beliefs) you went through. It was great to read and feel how the connection with yourself deepened and as a result, how the connection with your children grew. As you beautifully expressed: “This now reflects in my deepening connection with my children – a connection that is based on a true equalness, and a deep trust in myself and in what I feel.” Awesome.
Thank you Nico, your reflections are so important. Only when we share our true experiences can we begin to break the hold that ideals about parenting or any other aspects of life have over us, mostly without awareness. If one father is inspired to reflect more closely about his fatherhood, as a result of your sharing, what a gift for him.
It is true that most ‘fathers’ are not true in expression because they have taken on fatherhood pictures. This not only influences the relationship with their children but also with their partners and all others they are related with. So unraveling our ideals and beliefs will not only have an impact on our relationships but will also be reflected in society one day because we are related to everybody.
So true Nico, most fathers are not true in expression due to the fear of rejection and so get caught up in ideas and beliefs. Only when they start to unravel ideals and beliefs their true expression will flow and the true Father will express.
Thanks Nico for bringing this article forward.
As a mother, it’s been exposing on many levels and truly supportive.
As a daughter, it was such a healing reading this – and a gift to receive.
Thank you Brooke. It is beyond our imagination, the power exposing the false beliefs we carry, have. It can bring healing to whoever is open and willing to look at these.
Thank you for sharing Nico – it is amazing how we can be and largely are/have been run by the wave of what society tells us we should be doing and behaving – all to fit in, to gain acceptance, to think we are doing the ‘right’ thing. It is exposing yet extremely freeing, as deep down we all know the truth even though it may be hard to admit it at times.
This is so true James. We never get Love from who we think we need to be, even though it might seem this is initially the case.
yes, this further exposes that we seek love outside of ourselves until we re-connect to the love within.
I agree Nico, exposing these “false beliefs we carry”, is so very healing, and when you give yourself this freedom to be who you truly are, it is like a huge and unnecessary weight being lifted, a weight we have carried for so long without even realising it
And it was a heavy weight Ingrid, that we unnecessary carried with us. It is such a relief for my body to free itself from this weight and to be able to move more freely without it. Without the weights my body can tell me more of the truth of life it is so naturally connected with. Instead of being the supporting body for carrying the burdens of the undealt issues in life my body is now filled with joy, stillness and harmony. My body now connects me to the truth of life I originate from, a life we all deserve to live on this earth.
The false beliefs give us a false security. Thinking we will be loved, liked and worthwhile as long as we do ‘good’. It is always working hard and very tiring. No wonder we feel so much lighter when we can let go of them. Although this letting go can feel new and unfamiliar it is the greatest gift you can give yourself and everyone around you.
I agree too, as a daughter this is very healing to read and feel that underneath the ideals we carry our parents really do love and care for us to the bone.