I had an experience the other day that gave me pause to stop and ponder deeply my beliefs around expressing love to all, equally so. This experience exposed in me a long held belief that same sex couples are less. When I had this realisation, I felt such sadness.
“How is it possible to hold a belief for so long, that in no way feels true, loving and supportive in my life? How far away from my true self have I been living to not feel the hurt that comes with holding onto such beliefs?”
These simple questions led me to understand much about myself and have offered me great appreciation as to just how destructive a belief can be, helping me to identify the falseness in thinking that we are not equal simply as we are born to be.
I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person. My upbringing that saw same sex couples as somehow being less has offered me a moment where I can feel better than another person.
I know deeply inside that we are all equal and it doesn’t matter whether we choose a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. Yet the belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am, has been my trigger to having the thoughts that same sex couples are less than I am.
How absolutely horrible the belief that I am better than another, as I have had an opportunity to know two beautiful women who in every way live their love for themselves, each other and all others equally. So to feel this arise in me, I know deeply that it is not who I truly am and that it is simply a belief that I have taken on from others. A belief that I can now completely let go of in how I live from this moment forward.
What this experience has brought forward for me to consider is how any comparison to others is so very debilitating. And that for this to enter, in a brief moment I in some way allowed myself to be less than or better than the other person, whether they be man or woman doesn’t matter.
What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.
I am so very grateful that I have had this experience and am also super grateful that I simply didn’t brush it off as being okay. I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way. Living every day deeply feeling just how beautiful, loving and supportive I am, without wavering or falling back into any old beliefs that do not support this truth that I have connected to.
I feel that I am living my life from a whole new platform: that I have accepted in full that we are all equal and feel an amazing sense of freedom in this.
There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Leigh Strack
Further Reading:
Love – The Missing Link In Gender Equality
“The Highest Form of Intelligence is Love”
Comparing Myself To Others
There is an amazing freedom in letting go of beliefs that we have taken on from others.
Comparison and judgement come from a sense of separation. Taking a step back and feeling the other as a part of oneself, allows us to feel the hurt that this entails and thus understand how absurd it is to be fed by those thoughts.
However, we have grown in a world where this is the norm, so this movement requires firstly a choice of honesty to accept what we have been part of and then renounce to it, to really come back to the oneness we come from.
Equality is a key component in our evolution as our heart recognises the equality we all have and it is only the false layers that we put over our heart that hold these feelings that we are better than that lead to comparison.
I have had to do a few training courses covering ‘Equality’ what you write here is more than a tick box it is about true Equality.
Thank you Leigh, what’s deeply supportive and inspiring is the lack of judgement in your writing, and that you saw the opportunity to heal yourself by discarding a belief of inequality to allow the love naturally within to be your foundation for life. This was also a great line, “believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself – making it impossible to fully love another equally”. What this highlights to me is the awful feeling of the tension when our love is not connected to and lived from, and how simple life is when we make it about love.
When we think love can be contained to only specific people or members of our blood family we are under an illusion where equality does not exist.
God doesn’t pick and choose who is worthy and who is not there are no chosen people. We have forgotten that all live in God’s Atma it’s impossible not to as we live on a planet in the universe and God holds the universe.
Whenever we hold a judgement of another, it not only retards our own evolutionary growth it alters our ability to feel all of Gods love, for when we judge we put barriers in the way of his love.
“How is it possible to hold a belief for so long, that in no way feels true, loving and supportive in my life? How far away from my true self have I been living to not feel the hurt that comes with holding onto such beliefs?”
This is very possible Leigh because we live in a world that is saturated with ideals and beliefs which we are literally swimming around in and so we get soaked with them.
We as a collective have all contributed to the soup of ideals, beliefs and pictures and then we complain bitterly against what we have all contributed to.
“I know deeply inside that we are all equal.” And to live by such a true standard is much needed.
Leigh, your honesty is beautiful and deeply inspiring. Reading this I can feel that there are so many beliefs that we hold that allow us to feel less or more than another and that in this we do not truly accept and appreciate ourselves or others.
Any comparison to others is harming and debilitating, which means not allowing ourselves to be better or less than another or comparison has entered; instead fully embodying and accepting our unique qualities and equality.
This is lovely, coming home in your body, our bodies are so wise and loving, ‘There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.’
Feeling the equalness in all defeats the comparison and judgement of anyone.
Yes, naturally we have a love for all equally, but many of us have strayed from this, this blog is a lovely honest sharing and reminder of the fact we are here to love everyone equally, ‘I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way.’
Thank you for your honesty Leigh and what is coming up for me this morning as I read this is just how much energy I have expended going into comparison with others, often to justify my stance on a particular issue, and how much this has impacted the quality of the loving relationships that I have had. I know that it has transformed my working life now that I am loving with all my co-workers and clients as it diffuses so many situations that could potentially become challenging.
Reading this article I can feel how I love some people more than others, what you are sharing Leigh – that it is our natural way to love everyone equally, feels very true and makes me realise that in society we do not generally live like this, often it is the case we are more loving with our friends and family and less loving with everyone else. I love this; ‘I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way.’
The healing potential alone of this is life changing on a planet where there is so much conflict between individuals and countries.
It is great to highlight how so frequently we do not love all equally, we allow comparison or beliefs to creep in, ‘What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’
Leigh, reading this I can feel how we just accept it as normal to have such prejudices about others and to not be equally loving with everyone; “How is it possible to hold a belief for so long, that in no way feels true, loving and supportive in my life?” It’s great that you have the awareness around this now – thank you for sharing this.
When we hold back our love for someone because we think they are lesser the whole world suffers, we miss out, they miss out and nothing evolves.
Know we are equal, that we are all love, that we are all divine and of God then we know our future, the future coming back.
That our connection is love and that love is not limited to a few or some is the most liberating experience I have felt in my body. Through the Way of The Livingness I have felt that, and ever since.
Love is love, it has no measure except for the one we impose on it and in so doing, divorce ourselves from it.
This is such a deeply honest example of the fact we do “know deeply inside that we are all equal” but there is also another energy within us that rises at times to totally override the truth we naturally know. This old patterning comes from beliefs passed on down through generations, mainly unquestioned, and experiences we go through in life. The patterning may be so ingrained that it is triggered before we know it, but I have found that by simply asking myself “I wonder why it has raised its destructive head?” opens the doorway to the welcomed understanding.
The Way of The Livingness inspires me to be more of me, at the same time not be attached or identified with anything outside of me or any skills.. this always invites me to be more and keep evolving. In some way I can feel that there comes a confirmation with expansion.
A way of being with ourselves that we can adopt in every aspect of our lives. An enquiring and willingness to feel the truth of what our enquiry offers. It is in this trajectory that we allow the falsities of life to drop away.
I was shocked by myself the other day when a circumstance revealed to me that I held ” the them and us belief “in my body, when in my my mind I would say I treat everybody as equal, in that moment I realised that was not true. And like you Leigh it is not what is felt in the heart but a belief that was taken on and in no way true to who we truly are.
It is true healing when we allow ourselves to feel exactly what our spirit is up to inside our most sacred space, our body.
Love the absolut honesty that you bring in this sharing Leigh. It exposes very clearly the beliefs that I had too in my relationship with others. This measurement of my worth depending on what I judged in others is something I can relate very much, sometimes feeling less, sometimes feeling more…What I’m realizing is that by getting affected by these ideas I can’t be me in full, just a puppet that moves and expresses depending on what’s on the outside. Let’s cut the strings and appreciate deeply the love that we all are equally so. There is more to us to share with each other, there is a beauty and a gorgeousness within to be expressed, so come on.
Often it is not until we let something go, that we realise how heavy it was to carry. This is especially true of all the ideals and beliefs we cart around, unbeknownst that we are carrying anything at all.
We have all fallen for the illusion of being better or lesser then another. Our whole world feeds this illusion – this kind of thinking keeps us separated from one and other and ultimately causes the war and disruption we too often see.
Highlighting the importance of coming back to the love that we are!
Love your point about not brushing the experience off. So often we do that. Probably more than we realise and this is one of the ways we avoid evolution.
We carry so many energetic patterns in our body from the believes we put on us. To unravel them by starting to give detail care to our own body is revealing all and knocks the lies out.
It continues to amaze me as to what once was ok in my own evolution becomes not ok as greater love, tenderness and grace is lived within my body.
What is essential to understand here is that these hidden, or subconscious beliefs, are what actually drives us, that defines and dictates the way we live, and our behaviour in everyday life.
The honesty expressed here is astounding. Many people hold destructive beliefs without ever questioning them. Much of the time these beliefs are not expressed which makes them all the more poisonous. I appreciate your willingness to share what you have felt and the way you have refused to accept or justify this seperative belief.
A brilliant exposure for us all to ponder on, of the extent of ill-consciousness that love is measured, has owned us and the lives we live. Love is an absoluteness that when connected to it is known that love is equal in one and all.
To feel this and live this offers another so much as a reflection. The choice is then whether we choose to make this all of life or just part of life?
Leigh, thank you for your very honest article. This exposes that we often hold beliefs that are not true, such as same sex couples not being equal. I can feel that there are many other beliefs in society that hold some people as less and some as more, this can be linked with what work we do, where we live, where we are from and our age, the list can go on. Its great to be aware of these prejudices and to know that we are all equal and no one is less or more than other.
Love is love, so let love be love, so we can all return to love.
The way in which Leigh was able to declare strongly how she was no longer going to hold onto a negative belief about homosexual couples brought to my mind how we don’t need to spend so much time feeling bad or guilty about false beliefs or actions that we have taken that were harming to others, but that we can simply call them for what they are and renounce them as no longer being the truth or supportive for anyone, and letting them go forever. I can feel how I have held onto being hard on myself at times when I have realised I had lived in a way that was not true and this just brought me to a lower, more contracted place quickly, when I could have simply nominated it and moved on.
This is a very powerful comment Michael. It holds deeply the key to discovering our essence and allowing it to be our way of being in life.
Every experience is an opportunity for us to grow and evolve – it is a choice of what we let play out – do we see things as a reflection and learning, or do we react and shut down. Your sharing here shows the beauty that is delivered when we are open to learning and understanding more about ourselves and the world through each experience.
Leigh, this is really interesting; ‘What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself – making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ In the past I too felt this constant tension, generally of not feeling good enough, it feels very different to now being confident in myself and to see myself as equal, this has supported me to see everyone else as equal, no matter what race, culture, sex or needs we have, it is very lovely to feel like this and makes being with people much truer and more natural and enjoyable.
When that connection is made to your essence and you feel the joy in equalness to God the power is palpable. Surely reading this line should be enough to live The Truth and ‘own’ The Power however, this also comes with Responsibility and the order of how Gods holds them-selves in absolute love.
Absoulutely Rik, our essence or Souls is our power-house within that is always ready for us to align to the Loving impulses that it will always share.
After reading this blog in February, I examined my own beliefs about same-sex couples and found that I was not that comfortable with it but questioned why because the beliefs I was holding onto did not feel true for me. On further investigation, I could see how the beliefs of my family and how comments made during growing up were still playing out in my daily life. When I was about 12 years old, I still remember being told off because I called someone queer and then did not understand, because to me it meant someone was behaving oddly. An explanation of why the word ‘queer’ was considered wrong was never forthcoming.
There are so many nuances, underlying digs, lack of understanding, respect or dignity in our communications that unfortunately we have allowed these ways of living to be the truth. But if we bring true love into the equation these many and varied behaviours are exposed for being the very falseness that they are.
Thank you Leigh, love is actually normal — yet we have made it to be exclusive and for a few or in a different way to each person.. So we have created a false belief of what love is… And replaced it with a condition, a separation to who we are: love, that is. Naturally we are that, we need to come out of the illusions of what we have made it falsely to be.
‘What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ We have made love conditional in every way (by beliefs and ideals), to love ourselves and love others. Why compare when we truly love and are aware we are all the same on the inside, never more or less.
Unfortunately there will be comparison, even if we try really hard for there not to be, if there is not settlement and absolute acceptance of one’s value and true call in life. It is the settlement in self alone that makes it impossible for comparison to enter.
I’ve always felt this from a young age as I watched adults share an assortment of ideals and beliefs that felt so different to what they were living. To live anything less than ourselves we kid no one in the long run but deepen our longing to find the true meaning of life that is as simple as that – to just be!
We use anything in the outside to feel grander and superior if we feel small and worthless. Actually it doesn´t care what it is because it represents always the same energy. Honestly, who in the world does live in equality and does not need an uplift or loves the downpush towards another. It shows how less appreciation and self worth does exist in this world. Something that definitely needs to be addressed- you greatly did with your honest blog – thank you !
We get hurt or feel hurt by a situation and then carry that to every subsequent situation until it is healed. The hurt influences our perceptions and we judge from then on whilst the hurt remains the situation from these perceptions instead of coming from our truth deep within our heart which can only be realised when the original hurt is healed.
The more the hurt is healed the more free we are to live the love we are and to feel the pull of what it is we are here for. The more this pull of the future is felt the less we indulge in the hurts of the past.
Leigh, I can very much relate to this; ‘believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ Holding myself as less for years meant that I was often anxious and did not have true connections with people, now that I hold myself as equal I feel more steady and open and can feel that there is now the possibility for true relationships with people.
Something I am learning more and more is to not leave things as a possibility, or as a feeling of what we are capable of, but to actually live the possibility, to bring ourselves in full to every relationship. As I do this more and more, my relationships are changing and becoming more open, trusting and respectful. We are the only constant in our lives and we are the ones that, through opening our hearts make our life the one we know is ours to live.
As soon as I go into judgement love is lost.
That is very true. When we see ourselves as less or more than others then we divide others into being less or more. They make different choices but that doesn’t affect their equality.
Appreciating everyone, including ourselves, as equal opens us up to sharing our love with all.
Inspired by your commitment to rooting out beliefs that hold you in comparison and keep you apart from others. I have recently been exposing beliefs that were my mother’s and have absolutely no place in my life but were holding me back when it came to de-cluttering my house. It feels amazing to let them go and allow the spaciousness that then flows and supports me to lovingly continue this process.
We can be run by beliefs that are so engrained that we do not know they are there… more reason of course to truly know ourselves
So very true, healing is the process of being willing to be honest and expose the behaviors as we feel them, and also to be continually open to there being more and allowing them to surface, as and when they do.
Wow awesome realisation Leigh and super cool you exposed it for what it was. If we do not feel others are equal to ourselves we must be carrying some kind of hurt, hurt stops us from knowing that in truth we are all the same.
Its sort of funny really when one thinks they are better than another and takes on the air of being better than another , for in truth one is giving their power away to a false belief system and therefore making themselves less , and therefore not greater or equal to anyone.
Yes it is rather comical, however it is a most serious issue that we have that has expanded from the simplicity that you express John. If only more would see it as you do, than there would no longer be any power in living unequal to another, therefore no reason to do so.
With the Australian Law postal survey occurring for same sex marriages right now it has initiated much discussion on the topics of relationships in the community – and it will be very interesting to see what the general consensus is and what the government chooses to do about the result.
There is something remarkable alone in the honesty to write such a blog as this. We all have uncomfortable aha moments, though for some this may not register so strongly. But there is deep integrity in calling out a belief that we see is ingrained and affects how we view others. The only way forward is equality and I love what you share here Leigh as it is such a great step towards that.
Being honest is the first step out of the illusion. Many honest moments make up the path for truth. Only by feeling and living and moving the absolute truth you will know in what beliefs and ideals you were imprisoned, when you thought you were YOU.
“Only by feeling and living and moving the absolute truth you will know in what beliefs and ideals you were imprisoned, when you thought you were YOU.” Such revealing words of how we live here on this planet, and also the very clear way out of the mess of our world, a mess we all contribute to when we are ignorant of intimately knowing the truth we all innately feel.
We somehow take beliefs as part of life, but what you show is that they are actually not innately ours and that they can be very debilitating. Thus the importance of observing ourselves which allows us to unravel that what keeps us in inequality and estranged from ourself and others.
Expressing Love to All, Equally So – love this title, says it all really. We either express love or we don’t express love, but we create so much tension and anxiety in our bodies when we choose to express anything that is not love – for we are all part of the grandness that love is.
A deeply beautiful sharing of the equality of us all when we come to the knowing of this inside us and the freedom and love that is felt by everyone from this acceptance and love.
There is a palpable feeling of freedom when we connect with our essence, as the next step is known and embraced when it is taken.
It is a deeply profound feeling to realise that Love, in the true sense of the word, knows no boundaries, and is what defines who we all are in essence. When we truly surrender to this innate knowing, we then emancipate ourselves, our body and being, from the incarceration that lovelessness that holds in, as less than the equally magnificent divine sparks of light that we all are.
That is true and on that level it doesn’t matter how that lovelessness manifests. It is not love and there are alternatives.
I have spent some time around people at work who are in same sex relationships, and it has really supported me to see that there is no difference. In speaking with them in detail, it is actually really cool how they explore the ways they live and develop together, and how they see their challenges as the same as everyone else. At the end of the day, it comes down to the relationship and the connection between 2 people. And the quality of this.
Yes, at the end of the day it is always about the quality we bring and feel in our relationships, for equality comes without trying when the quality is present.
I have always made myself less, and in doing so giving my power away which always meant I was exhausted and life was complicated and full of struggle. Thanks to universal medicine, I have cleared and healed so much especially staying in comfort, in resistance and in hiding. I now can share so much more of me and appreciate all the changes I have made and how all my relationships have improved.
There are so many beliefs and thoughts that we have that we actually think are our own…. And yet , as Leigh so beautifully writes, when exposed and let go of we can feel a re-awakened clarity
Leigh, it is lovely to read how you feel that we are all equal. In the past I used to be judgmental of others and hold others as either better or less than myself, I have let go of this judgment now and can feel the equality in us all, this is very lovely to feel and allows me to be open and have relationships with everyone, not just a select few.
In the last couple of days I have been called to deepen, to claim even more the equality we are. Because the slightest wavering from this absolute truth is a wide open door to comparison. What is beautiful though is how uncomfortable comparison now feels in my body. I may let it in, but I do not hang onto it or indulge it. I feel it and adjust my movements so that it is dwarfed by the love I hold.
Thanks Leigh, I agree, beliefs are insidious, for us to even want to hold another as less we already are living with beliefs about ourselves, beliefs that call for comparison as a form of relief to “remedy” how degraded or bad we feel. Taking responsibility to live the love we are in essence for all equally is definitely the way to go.
Great point made here, it is at times unfathomable to consider just how many sneaky ways we hold ourselves less than the grandness we are. The absolute precursor to any comparison with another is that which we have imposed upon ourselves.
I am currently on a Level 4 Healing course with Universal Medicine and it is bringing up for me deeper layers of beliefs held in my body. It is not only very revealing to have these out in the open it is also very healing to be able to see them for what they are and let them go. They literally weigh us down and hold us back from our true purpose, not allowing us to access the joy and vibrancy that I now feel for life.
This is so true Elaine, any thought that has not originated from my body, takes me out of my body. This completely stops the natural flow of energy in my body and leaves me vulnerable to an endless string of invading thoughts, that haven’t even originate from me. Taking steps to halt these thoughts has been revealing and also a call from deep within to be consistent, vigilant and dedicated as the thoughts don’t stop coming, delivered as a choice, one I either go with, or where I see and feel its falseness and stop it.
It is great to observe the incarceration of beliefs that we may hold and with honest assessment, feel our disconnection from humanity in accepting such lies and rather, to connect deeply and reawaken our true equalness with all others and absolute oneness with all.
There are a million ways we compare ourselves with others, placing ourselves on a ranking of better than or less than. This is a rampant illness in society that needs to be brought out of the closet as it prevents people from being the naturally loving beings they are.
Agree Heather, the layers of this are staggering, each step I have taken to deepen my love and awareness has revealed another aspect of comparison, each one more insidious than the last. But to not go there and release each one as I get to it is to be lost as the comparison, undealt with, encompasses us and we are stuck on the merry-go-round of continually being caught in these thoughts.
It certainly is worth appreciating every time we call out comparison or jealousy. It is through nomination we begin to heal the root cause and realise that it is simply another excuse we have taken on to try and stop us from living the grandness of who we truly are.
It appears that the majority of humanity live their lives by beliefs that have been passed on down through generations or that have been acquired from others around them as they grow up. And it also appears from the lack of common sense seen in many of these beliefs that these are accepted to be the truth without any discernment whatsoever. It has always puzzled me as to why we accept the beliefs of others so blindly without first attempting to feel the truth of them for ourselves?
Yes, it humbles one when we begin to consider how we have allowed our lives to be moulded around the beliefs of others, when we can clearly feel our own. The deep harm in all of humanity is that each generation before us has done the same thing. Could it be time to change this very destructive momentum and again take a moment to feel how we really feel and live our life from this platform. The beauty in this is that in one doing so, others can also do so. Another amazing thing that happens here is that in doing so, anything that is true for us deeply supports everyone else.
Beautiful to call out that if we feel ourselves better or less than another, it is because we miss a certain feeling in ourselves and that it comes from an emptiness.
It’s one thing to say we are all equal and another thing entirely to walk that talk. A belief is just a point in life where we don’t apply or bring an awareness of a feeling to ourselves which then creates a void that is filled with whatever life looks like. We have long since and continue to see life as a physical picture and in this picture we delete things or delete parts of the truth. If life truly was based on how we feel then it wouldn’t matter how things looked, they would be all supported by the feeling they bring first. How can we continually be sold by pictures? I mean anyone can dress in a suit and look good but there is no one who can hide how they are from feelings. Remember when you were a child the feeling that something just wasn’t right with someone but they were related or a good person or polite etc. We sold to the look and drove over the feeling. The more we do this or did this creates a consistency that then feeds the way you live. Then you think you think something or act out something until awareness brings you something else, we are merely the sum total of our every actions. Drive around negating feelings and your world will only see what you are. Equality is a living action, live it with yourself and your eyes will see that, live anything else and your eyes will see that, it makes sense.
Yes I agree it is one thing to say something and entirely a different reality to actually live it.
It is not though until living it is made real that we get to see that saying we are doing it is so very far from the truth. I like very much how you end your comment Ray, live everything with yourself first, it is only then we can bring this to another.
The beauty of realising that we are all equal and to be appreciated for all we are is an amazing way to live with the honouring and appreciation of others allowing us the freedom and growth for all our relationships and ourselves as we live from the perspective and not the old beliefs and dogmas we have picked up from outside of us.
Leigh this is so inspiring to read again today. Your words about the harm of beliefs were so clear, they just do not stack up against the simplicity and all encompassing nature of love.
In the belief of being less than who we truly are, we cannot appreciate another and feel the quality of their essence to be the same equally for all when we connect to the heart.
This is true, we cannot feel the essence of another if we are choosing the better than/less than game to live life. We can’t feel the essence of another because we are not present with our own essence. It is this presence with self that it is imperative to build as the grandness within simply holds nothing in it, but equalness.
‘ Living every day deeply feeling just how beautiful, loving and supportive I am, without wavering or falling back into any old beliefs that do not support this truth that I have connected to.” This is a beautiful claiming of yourself Leigh and a great reminder that I too am that.
We all seem to take on so many ideals and beliefs as we grow up and we stack them up around us like scaffolding which we use to prop ourselves up with. And I wonder if this is why it feels very exposing to let and ideal or belief go as the scaffolding starts to get a bit rickety and what would happen to us, how would we manage if we dismantled the scaffold completely? Then what would we be left with? For some this feels to scary and so they find it impossible to let go of the tiniest ideal or belief and are trapped for another life time.
It may feel scary, exposing and very vulnerable, because it is hiding the very truth that we are essentially tender gentle loving beings at our core, and unfortunately very few of us live this quality we naturally are. So exposure is needed to very definitely show us what we are choosing to live is not actually who we innately are. Even the smallest realisation and change are very powerful steps for each of us in our return to our natural essence, our soul.
It’s amazing when we out our beliefs about ourselves or other people (which I’ve found stem from beliefs about ourselves) that 1. I feel a freeing sensation in my whole body 2. How crazy the belief was or how it just doesn’t match reality or what I feel to be true 3. How exhausting it is to have kept such in circulation and 4. How vital it is to address our hurts as this is how they get in and direct out lives.
These sneaky beliefs which we hold believing that they are harmless, and therefore unimportant and yet quietly festering, and all the time adding to the rot – what you have shown us here Leigh is that these things we try to ignore are hugely important and can make such a huge difference, not only to ourselves but to everyone.
What you share here is important Julie, realising that what we hold on to and live by affects us and everyone around us. It is the belief that it only affects me that puts our blinkers on, as when we begin to really feel how we are actually affects others we then are stopped in our tracks, as if we choose, we have then the responsibility to let go of our harming belief, to free ourselves, but to most importantly no longer impose on others.
It can really take us by surprise when we realise we still hold a belief that we are not aware we had, it is devastating to feel and we need to be really honest with ourselves in order to clear any hook that could keep us in that belief, especially if we know that the belief can not be true.
Well said Sally, Honesty and humbleness becomes not our foe, but our deepest loving friend.
I love how the point of evolution presented itself to you Leigh and you took it in both hands so to speak and followed the thread right back out of the particular incident and made it about the fundamental element that unites or divides us – equality or lack of it. Brilliant modelling!
It takes a lot of honesty and observation in the smallest details of where we compare with others and why. For most of us, comparison is just a normal part of life, but the normality we speak of has dire effects on our health, which in time we have to eventually come to accept and clear. Everything our bodies tell us comes from a deep love for us to return to the truth of who we are and what we know.
‘Everything our bodies tell us comes from a deep love for us to return to the truth of who we are and what we know.’
A statement well worth fully understanding and pondering on. Our bodies never send us on a wild goose chase, the communication from it is clear, concise and in fact very precise. Our only responsibility is to listen.
Thank you Leigh for sharing with such honesty and integrity. What you have shared is a wonderful example, and inspiration for us all, to unfold and expand our capacity to love all equally.
Thank you Leigh, your words about how destructive beliefs are were so right. Beliefs separate, compare, make better or worse, label, etc, but they cannot in any way ever hold love. Our hearts and our love is the true basis for connection to others and equality, a mind and what it thinks just fails miserably. Love is our true intelligence. Here’s to learning to live from that love.
Well said Melinda, ‘beliefs cannot hold love’.
Such a simple understanding that is so often misconstrued in our world, passed over for the ideals we want life to be rather than acceptance of how our life is. With acceptance our love is again ignited, our responsibility acknowledged and our life enhanced and changed.
The facts that we even use the term ‘gay’ or lesbian’ is a separation. Do we go around thinking ‘oh those two are straight’ and brand people that way? Not usually – the state of the world is that to be ‘straight’ is normal and then we identify if someone is not and single them out. But the truth is – as you share here – there is no difference and we are all equal. When we look at society in this way, then no one needs a label – we are who we are and it is only our choices that make us different.
‘There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.’ Living the truth of who we are is in our bodies and thus in our movements. These movements are not only for us but equally for all
It is amazing how we can have beliefs or ideals that are no where near our truth! What I loved hear was your honesty without judgement towards yourself, a moment to really go there and ask questions so ill ideals or beliefs you have been carrying can no longer have a hold over you. I felt a great gentleness from you with what you shared. What if every single one of us was willing to do this to feel what is not us, what ill beliefs we hold onto that are not our truth. A lot would be revealed and a lot would be healed. You have just started the ripple affect … may the healing begin ✨
“The belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am, has been my trigger…” – this is so profound. I have been a student of The Way of The Livingness for some years now, and I am aware of the gap between the truth that has been presented, and what and how that has been lived by me so becomes my own truth. Sometimes it feels so stupidly easy to jump ahead to the truth of what I could be, but unless it is lived – it is just another ideal.
There are constantly opportunities placed in front of us to practice the simplicity of living from the stillness that is within, opportunities to live honestly, open and free of our past traps to no longer react, to choose this time around to live with the ease and grace that is there for us to enjoy. It is not easy to do this, my patterns can very quickly pull me away from this loving way of life, but every time I do, the steady firm sensation I feel run through my body is all that I need to encourage me to continue with deepening and living what I feel is true for me.
IncrediblY powerfull article Leigh. Showing us that there is more to us, more to life than we can see. And that what we can see is not always even the truth at all. And so we are encouraged to always feel, feel our body, feel any feelings we have and start to connect with what is within us – that is our essence, our light and love – we naturally come from. No hippie style whatsoever, just the absolute divine truth. As a wise man shared with me (Serge Benhayon) : We are Here to not be here.
Your expression of the situation you found yourself in is so very honest Leigh and very inspirational. What has unfolded from the realisations that you had is a beautiful example of how beliefs that we have simply accepted as being normal can be so destructive, but how the healing of them can be so amazing, life changing in fact.
I have discovered that being weighed down by beliefs that I had taken on was exhausting and letting go of these burdens has allowed a lightness and openness to my connection of anyone and everyone. I feel a freedom I hadn’t realised was possible.
Comparison cripples us, it keeps us separate and forever judging, ‘believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ Another great reason to let go of our ideals and beliefs.
It is so great to realise how all our unloving ideals and believes, thoughts and actions come from a hurt in ourselves and thus that when we heal that hurt these don’t need to be there.
So very true Lieke, it is so very easy to be present and with ourselves, in our body, but the moment an old hurt is triggered, the seemingly ‘normal’ thing to do is to literally leave the steadiness we are to defend and prove ourselves. For me personally it has taken, and continues too take a deep commitment to the feeling of stillness in my body to stay present whenever my personal hurts or worries are triggered.
It’s amazing what not brushing aside our feelings can reveal. So many times now I have found that when I stop to register how I feel there is so much more going on underneath the water than just the part of the iceberg above the water. Stopping to honour these feelings drains me less than ignoring and trying to cover up and avoid feeling what is constantly there until it is dealt with and felt.
It is amazing to watch how the Love expressed through any young child does not discriminate. It is only that we are taught that Love is conditional. Through separating from our Love within we hold back our Love, judge and impose conditions on love not only for ourselves but with others. Your honesty is inspirational as it is this kind of self-honesty that will allow us to heal and let go of the beliefs that stir under the surface, serving only to keep us thinking and living in way where Love is measured. As if love is measured in any way, it is a clear indication that Love is not present, and all that is not of love is.
Self honesty is the only way each of us will adjust our behavioirs and patterns. But to bring such honesty, we must know innately the essence we are. As it is this that shines a light on any and all aspects of life that has stepped away from our essence.
You make a great point about how our unloving beliefs actually hurt us, but we may not feel how much it hurts to think this way because we may be living so far from ourselves and so far from being connected to who we truly are in essence. This is also a great line ” believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself – making it impossible to fully love another equally.” What a great way to challenge the comparison I still choose to experience myself and life by, and a powerful reminder that by doing so I am holding back the love that so naturally holds everyone equally – including myself.
If it wasn’t such a plague on our world today it would be laughable, how we know equalness innately, yet persist on choosing to compare with another. Only in the full claiming of our divineness have we the power to no longer choose comparison.
There is no doubt that ideals and beliefs are debilitating and grossly harming; thank you for sharing your experiences Leigh that highlight this. Like you I am challenged by ideals and beliefs but deeply and innately know that we are equal and deserve to be treated equally always.
I am inspired Leigh how you do not turn a blind eye to what is coming up for you and simply approach it in a step by step process and thus are being able to unravel the belief that makes you think and act in a certain way.
The biggest lies we have ever fallen for come from the ideals and beliefs that keep us in separation from the truth of love and brotherhood held within our essence. Since choosing to establish a re-connection with my inner essence, it has been possible to feel this within others too. This has opened me up to feel the truth of love being equally so for all.
“I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way. Living every day deeply feeling just how beautiful, loving and supportive I am, without wavering or falling back into any old beliefs that do not support this truth that I have connected to”.
I have never before felt the depth of love I have always held for others, until I began to love myself dearly. We are greatly misguided by how our world has been operating. Learning self love and self care techniques is the only way to return us to live by our true essence, which naturally holds another with the same love we hold ourselves. A way of living that perpetuates connectedness, care and true compassion.
I have held onto beliefs that have no real foundation in fact or truth, but are things I have heard or thought from the past. But in truth there is no past so I have only now to make this change that can be made in an instant!
‘What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ This tension has caused me so much anxiousness and only recently I have made the choice to not go with this but accept and know that I am already everything just like everybody else.
This is a deeply honest blog and I really appreciate you sharing this. If everyone did this, truly stopped to feel what makes us hold ill beliefs about race, ethnicity, religion, sex … others, then they would no longer have a hold over us because we can feel the truth in our bodies. ‘I had an experience the other day that gave me pause to stop and ponder deeply my beliefs around expressing love to all, equally so.’ I had a similar awareness the other day, not about same sex couples but how I only let a few close friends know all of me and have a protection or guard up with other people where they only see a part of me. It was and is great to see this, as now it has been seen it can be changed. You also prove that when such ill beliefs are addressed the love within ourselves and for others deepens ✨
Thank you Leigh, anything less than equalness amongst every man, woman and child belongs to a lesser way of being that we have built this world on. It has never worked to hold another as less, or better for that matter…
This blog is not only calling for us to love all equally but it also making us aware of where we have inequality in different areas of our lives such as giving one area more focus and presence.
Your blog really shows that in essence we are all the same and that whatever ideals and beliefs we take on… we can always choose to let these go and come back to that natural essence.
It is actually shocking to realize that it is a belief – a made up perception, about someone’s difference that we can then create a story or issue we use to judge them and ourselves on. This closes our hearts and truly appreciating we are all equal. There is a great article that spells out less that 1% of our DNA varies between different cultures, this accommodates, hair colour, eye shape and skin tone. Other wise we are exactly the same. Read article: “He who cast the first stone”
Re reading your blog is as if I read it for the first time and again I feel how I can let myself fall for the trap of proving myself. There is that sense of wanting to be perfect and strive for the best although I know this is not what the world and I need, it is a very unhealthy way of living and it leads us nowhere. Lets be the student of loving myself and others equally and being truthful to myself and let myself feel how awesome I am and yes there are believes to let go of but letting the love out and in is my way forward.
We are brought up to compete, with each other and with ourselves, betting each high score, furthering our education so as to succeed or be better then those around us, adjusting our looks with botox and surgery to measure up, with this culture breeds inequality. Some might say Leigh that your hidden belief is harmless, for clearly you are not a bigot but the subletly is what is so insidious about this particular belief, as you expose the under current for a separation. Born from an insecurity but nevertheless retarding you to love all equally. Well done for calling it out and freeing yourself from its clutches.
Making ourselves better or worse, more or less than another immediately creates an inequality and an imbalance in our relationships that separates us and leaves no room for harmony.
Beautiful honesty Leigh to write this blog. It helps us all see that we too may be living in a metaphoric castle, peering down at others below, trying to build our towers up with achievements and the things we do. When you stop and feel the world it is amazing how much we are encouraged to see some as rich and tall and others as lesser and somewhat small. But when we live and feel connected to our inner heart, there is no trace of this at all, no diminishing or judgement, no comparison at all. Just a knowing we are equal souls with divine beauty within us all.
In society we are so geared around comparison, leaving us either feeling lesser or better than someone else. It’s a sure way to keep us from truly accepting our qualities and holds us in a state of always judging or fearing being judged. It certainly wipes out the truth of the fact that we are all born equal.
Love is love- it doesn’t measure, gauge, discriminate etc- it just is.
Those who believe that love can not be expressed between two people of the same sex are not coming from love when they think this.
This is such a healing offering. Seeing beliefs for the falseness that they are, understanding they are not us but just an energy we have allowed in frees up space for reclaiming what then is truth and who we then truly are – instead of spending lifetime grieving over the loss of truth.
More and more I am having to uncover all the beliefs that I have that do not support me or others in any way. As I do this I am discovering how separating beliefs are and how they really are used as a protection to not open up to another.
Thank you Leigh for a super powerfull simple blog, ” There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.” This is the deep wisdom and truth that our bodies innately know underneath the beliefs that the mind constructs.
Leigh I have been feeling the need to look deeper into some bias that I recognise I have not acknowledged concerning same sex relationships. Even though I have had and have friends who have been in these relationships, there has been a little piece of leftover belief that I HAVE HAD TO EXPOSE in myself. After all Love is Love no matter who it is between!
“What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.” This is an immensely powerful realisation as it so clearly explains the destructive nature of comparison.
There is so much in society that sets us up to not feel and accept that we are all absolutely equal and that in any moment we can all connect to and express love through our bodies. If we were to grow up knowing this fact we would all place so much more attention to our inner quality rather than focus on the outer differences.
When the many pictures we have adapt throughout our live start falling apart, we start to let go of the prison we live in. Living from what we feel is true or not is a real freedom
I recognize this feeling of allowing my body to let go and that I trust on what it knows.. And so there is a certain pulse/rhythm that flows with that.. It has always been me fighting against this – whilst actually I feel I can simply life in a flow that is constantly healing and in balance with all.
I agree Sue it is an on going process. I am so enjoying now being with others and feeling and seeing the beauty that they hold. There is nothing more prescious that I have felt than this simple, natural way of being. So much so, any time that I am holding back this naturalness, I feel it deeply in my body. So this is now my next work in progress. Having the honesty to notice it and, without reaction, bring understanding to why and letting go.
Thanks Leigh, this has highlighted how I do a similar thing of calibrating myself against the world to see where I fit in, everything seems fine as long as I’m doing well, when I don’t see this I can feel like I fall apart when what I measure myself against doesn’t give the reflection back that I’m doing ok.
Dear Chris,
I have been able to greatly lessen the falling apart feeling by having the understanding that everything in our lives is there to bring us back to ourselves, an opportunity to grow, to evolve, to open. Everything. This I am embracing as the beauty it is. God is forever communicating with us and never leaves us high and dry. So knowing this helps to bring understanding and acceptance to all aspects of my life.
The game playing of ideals and beliefs is nothing short of a set up of how we “think”we should act or be or project that same expectation on another.
Judgment and sympathy have been something I often indulged in when encountered with others’ choices that I would not consciously choose for myself. Those choices could just be some simple everyday activity or a habit, or a life decision, or to be born into a particular circumstance. The more I am learn to take responsibility for my choices, the more understanding I seem to be able to have for others, and the lack of appreciation for myself has been one of the biggest obstacle for this learning.
Dear Fumiyo,
“Judgment and sympathy have been something I often indulged in when encountered with others’ choices that I would not consciously choose for myself. ”
What I continue to discover as I constantly let go of judgement and sympathy, is that which I am judging or sympathizing with is actually something that I have chosen, all be it not consciously. You presenting this tonight is of a huge support to me just now Fumiyo, as there is one person in particular that I fall into sympathy with constantly, yet I have not allowed myself to own what it is inside of me that is doing the very thing this person is doing. Instead I have been making it about ‘holding myself when talking with and being with them’. Whilst this is also necessary, it has been impossible as I have not felt, in truth where within I am doing the same. The biggest thank you from me.
Thanks for the honest writng Leigh and for exposing how our beliefs can restrict us from radiating love to all equally.
“How far away from my true self have I been living to not feel the hurt that comes with holding onto such beliefs?” This could even be applied to behaviours that we know are harming the body. To stop and take notice of something harming the body is one step, to then ask, what is my part to play in this behaviour being carried out is the next I feel is to be worked on. Being hard on one’s self only supports more hardness and doesn’t support our ability to feel the answer that can bring true change and true healing. This has been my experience – you have to feel it to heal it. Thank you Leigh.
I love your point Leigh, that “being hard on one’s self only supports more hardness” which is so true. Yesterday when talking to someone I could see I even took pride in how hard I could be on myself (harder than somebody else), really silly but a another behaviour to catch and not fall for.
Dear Leigh Matson,
” This has been my experience – you have to feel it to heal it.”
Aha.. Mine too. I know deeply that I change or adjust nothing until I have felt the harm that it is causing my body. My personal challenge just now is allowing myself to feel my body from the center of my being to my skin. This has been something I feel when I am still and focussed, but know it to truly be my way. My challenge is in accepting what I feel when I do this, but I am continuing to choose this level of connection with my body because it feels so solid, still and strong, with a huge drop of delicateness and fragility that actually supports me to accept what is there in my body, that is ready to be let go of.
I love your expansion here, Leigh. When something is so ingrained in us, we don’t even question it. “You have to feel it to heal it” – so simple, and it just exposes many choices I have made was just my attempt not to feel the extent of the abuse I was allowing in, and through me.
Absolutely Leigh; “you have to feel it to heal it”, if you jump to a solution it won’t work if you have avoided feeling the full extent of the harm that needs to be healed.
I agree Bernard, as often I have felt my body and sensed there was something which was asking for more focus and then I jump for the solution telling myself that I had felt it and that I will deal with it later and then later never comes, or if it does it’s buried under over working and eating. So like you have said feeling the full extent of what has come up to be healed is key.
Solutions are only a temporary fix, weed killer for the flower and not the roots. Whereas feeling something completely or, as I’ve experienced, repeatedly thats when we can chip away at our harmful choices.
“What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.” So much of the tension that we live from is because of ideals and beliefs we hold that we take on as children. Freeing ourselves from them is so liberating, as you share so well in this blog, Leigh.
“love inside of me is love for all, equally so” what an amazing statement, and one I feel is so true. It is impossible to love another if we do not love ourselves, and it impossible to love one person more than another. Love is the expression of intimacy with people we know, and comes from our openness to just being ourselves, no tricks needed.
“I know deeply inside that we are all equal and it doesn’t matter whether we choose a heterosexual or homosexual relationship.” I always knew this from a very early age. It wasn’t something that was taught to me, to be tolerant of others choices or preference for a partner. I just innately knew that it was very normal and natural for men or women to choose who they want to be in a relationship with. It should be a very simple thing, yet many over complicate due to their own ideals or beliefs, imposing then those beliefs onto others, this is not love.
Dear Raegan it is the saddest thing to feel and observe how much ideals and beliefs affect the truth and how much energy is given to hold strong to such, when every cell in our bodies are screaming how false it is to continue to support them. Body awareness classes in schools could effectively turn this old way of living on its head.
The beautiful thing about what you have expressed here Leigh is your honesty and willingness to let go of beliefs that hold you back; beliefs that do not hold all equally.
I really appreciated and can totally relate to what you presented.
This is powerful blog to read Leigh – I love the exposure in the falseness and illusion that we are caught up in – not being equal to another in the belief that there is always more for us to become to be acceptable, rather than simply being who we are.
“These simple questions led me to understand much about myself and have offered me great appreciation as to just how destructive a belief can be, helping me to identify the falseness in thinking that we are not equal simply as we are born to be”.
The beliefs we take on from others, can be destructive, negative and very capping, in a word, anti-evolving. One of my beliefs was that I was not ‘safe’ to express my love, and from this belief, I shut my love down, contracted and hid from the world…. And I would have stayed in hiding, had I not met Serge Benhayon and attended many of his healing courses which supported me to come out of hiding from the world!
Me too Jacqmcfadden04, I have begun to realise that I hold back my love because I can feel deeply when I am with it that I move more gracefully, with a steadiness and surity. It has been my struggle to allow myself to move this way as it is not seen often in our world and I have cringed and pulled away from living this because of the criticism that I think others wil throw at me. My closet door is wide open now as I begin to move with this steadiness more and more.
So many comments, what if you’d made a book out of this blog and the comments. I read it for the second time now and it is a great reminder of who we are and equalness and to re- connect us back to this.
“What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.”
Thank you for expressing this Leigh.
Reading your blog Leigh, brings to the fore just how much Love is the central glue to all relationships. Love is the same, always a constant and never changing over time. It is always there regardless of what or who a relationship is between.
Love is the central glue to all relationships, sure is Johanne Brown!
Seeing myself as equal was for many years something that I couldn’t honestly say I felt at all times, and yet I had an inner knowing that in fact I was worthy and equal . What was this all about ! I felt it came back to Religion and my experience of the Church I attended, and the manner women were treated in many situations. Somehow this ambivalence lasted for most of my life until I met Serge Benhayon and his Presentations of The Way of The Livingness! Teaching us that we are all equal sons of God.
Like yourself Roslyn, due to my held ideals and beliefs, stemming from a strict church upbringing, I did not feel an equality with others, in relationships. I saw same sex couples as lesser than me, something disgusting ,and a result from the devil. As I connect to this deeperI feel how harmful this is to hold onto, and very sad- as I know that “we are all equal sons of God”.
The sad thing is Loretta that many still think the way you describe here. Making the choice to let go of these beliefs is to be celebrated. You are to be celebrated for your choice to feel truth instead of believing the many lies you were fed during you life. Lies that there are good people and bad people, of which there are none, only those who choose to live from their love, and those that don’t.
Beautifully expressed, thank you Leigh Strack. There are so many ideals and beliefs that we are fed as we are growing up, some we take on without realising it. How freeing when we can really unhinge these restricting views that in some way keep us separate from others or another. I feel in your comment here an invitation to live from love, the love we know in our heart is true.
When we hold on to ideals and beliefs, we are actually feeding them and giving them more credibility. However if we were to take each situation or experience without those ideals and beliefs we would see things very differently.
I thought I was open and treated everyone as equals but every now and then I find I was Judgmental, or putting myself as lesser, even if it is only a little bit it still puts a barrier up between me and someone else. If I feel there is a barrier there, I have to nominate the cause in order to clear it.
It makes you wonder where all these beliefs that we have aligned to have stemmed from, who it was, what made them create such a belief and then for it to become viral so a lot of people all start to belief or follow what ever it is. It seems it only takes a few hundred and then it is considered normal. When I look at it now it is very clear and obvious that the there is a type of energy and consciousness that is running it. Serge Benhayon is the only person I have met that teaches there is two types of energy and to discern what is presented to you. This has changed my life and learning to read energy is actually very natural
I love what you have shared here Natalie. It is actually very natural to read energy, we have always done this. What I have found to be of the most amazing support, is to learn through the teachings that Serge Benhayon is reminding us all of, is that I don’t have to become what I have felt. Once upon a time, if I felt someone’s anger, I would react and become angry myself and respond from the anger. I am now getting more used to feeling this and reacting to it less.
Reading this blog has lead me to reflect on my love equally for all and I am realising that I have areas of comparison in my life where I also feel more or feel less than others. This comparison comes from old beliefs that I have not challenged; I have not gone there. Living with more awareness means nominating every moment where comparison, envy, jealousy take me out. Some of the comparisons, prejudices and bias I have uncovered, have been hidden behind many layers of ‘Goodness’. Now taking responsibility for who I truly am, and loving myself first , my love of all others has expanded. Thanks Leigh.
My Pleasure Christine,
Writing this has been a marvelous journey, for the writing and replies have only deepened my love for all. And have, as you say, allowed for much more awareness in my life, that continues to expose any pockets of jealously, comparison, envy and for me also protecting myself when I feel challenged. Having now the strength to feel how much protection hardens my body and complicates things has supported me to call it and choose instead to be open and honest. It is only through loving self and others equally, that I have been able to begin to address this and drop the need to protect, instead opening to honest discussion.
I have also come to understand that just one belief has the power to keep us in separation, and as we are more than likely holding on to a whole lot more of these destructive beliefs, it is no wonder that we often struggle through life, simply existing and not truly living. To let go of even one of these long held beliefs can be so very liberating and life changing.
My beliefs entrapped me in a certain way of being, in a lesser way, as it implies comparison. And where there is comparison there is no true Love. Yet I know deep down that we are one humanity seeking truth and love but expressing it in a myriad of ways. Knowing and feeling that our expression is part of the puzzle of life opens the door to acceptance and love for all.
This is such a great discussion on beliefs. What is the coolest is when we have those realisations that you have been holding onto a belief that has nothing to do with your truth and then having the power to say no that’s not true. To let go. We are so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. A simple NO can change so much.
Dear Natalie,
Thank you, the way you have written your comment has supported me today. I am finding myself appreciating the unfolding of having said no to a way of being that was affecting myself and someone close to me. And the affect was immediate. Something that had the potential to be a huge challenge was openly and honestly discussed by both of us. The power of choosing in the moment to stop an old momentum of protection does change everything.
Great call Leigh on the protection that we can go into. Recently I really got to feel all the layers of protection that I have been choosing to live in for a very long time and it hurt. It because I had denied myself and others of the enormous love that I am. So each day I remind myself to share all of this and not to cap it with the reactions in by going into protection. We always have a choice, so empowering.
Leigh, I can very much relate to this, ‘believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ It is only recently that I am feeling this equality between myself and others, for many years I lived not feeling enough or feeling better than another and it felt like I was constantly judging myself and others, I would do this in how I looked compared to others, how many friends I had, my work, the list goes on – very destructive and living in this way does allow for true connections with others, it is lovely to feel now how we are equal and there is no need to compare.
Yes it is lovely to live holding love for ourselves, to honor and appreciate our tenderness, I am finding that by choosing this to be my way in my life, that it is natural that I love others equal to how I love myself. And as you say Rebecca, this allows for true connection with others, and there is nothing more beautiful than this.
The authority of truth is felt in the heart as it is recognized as of the same source, of Love.
Coming back to and reading your blog again Leigh, makes me realise how the very concept of love is still held as being something different depending on the context. Instead of there being a living truth of love amongst us all I still notice that when I refer to different people and the love I feel in some situations there is a belief that says it cant be the same as others. No wonder we are all confused about love as we’ve put so many rules, re-interpretations and conditions on it that the truth of love, the real strength and simplicity of expressing love and holding another in love is cluttered with confusion. Thank you for bringing it back to the simplicity and the fact that in truth love is there to be expressed to all equally.
Dear David what I am experiencing just now is the relationships where I have the greatest difficulty in expressing the love from my heart, are those where I have been, and sometimes am still, hurt deeply. The feeling to want to protect myself and push away the other person is something that I have to now hold with the greatest of Grace and understanding. If I do this the support to surrender, in full to my hurts is there, and love from my heart is again present. Simply writting this has allowed me to feel on yet a deeper lever that this is how the one who is hurting me is living and in this deeper understanding I can sense that I will understand what is truly going on for another and be less affected by anothers actions.
You share something very poignant here, Leigh. What I have come to notice is that even when I am trying to make myself feel better in my comparison to another, somehow I always still feel less than. I feel it in my body now as a knowing and I have to catch myself. Isn’t it much better like you say to love oneself and all others equally so? I admit, it’s not always that simple at first, but shouldn’t we at least consider it as an option?
Me too. To make myself better always leaves me empty handed and hearted in a way. I recently had that with work. That my hours work was so-called more valuable than someone else’s hour work. It was really a destructive belief and an ugly feeling like aauch in my body. I have decided to take my body more and more serious and as my marker of truth. To call it out to myself has been very helpful.
If we can live in a way that this is considered by others, simply because they have been inspired by us is the miracle of changing the world, 1 person at a time. For once considered, the support is with them to continue to consider, and to maybe implement into their life.
“What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.” Plus this is a super exhausting way to live – no wonder caffeine is one of our biggest consumptions in the world.
What I am learning is to not compartmentalise my life and the love that I am, for example I express love very openly with kids, even people I meet in supermarkets or I chat to on the street, yet I do not do the same with some of my family or even the teachers I work with. So I am constantly turning it on and off everyday. It’s not my love to do this with, this love is equally here for all no matter who they are or where they live.
In all truth – if I love or express love more to one than another, then I am not being true love at all, but an emotional form of love, an illusion – love is love – it holds no one less or more but all one and the same.
Gyl,
The honesty you have expressed with here is refreshing, because this is how it is. What I love in what you share is that you recognize this. The recognition itself supports us to begin our own healing and to in time no longer turn our love on and off, allowing the flow of our love out, always.
“I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person.” I am with you on that one and it is totally devastating and deeply harming to everybody’s physical and mental health and well being, it is a complete attack on our lymphatic system. And also a sheer arrogance and illusion to think we are better or worse, when in fact and in truth, deep down we all know we are one, and come from the same equal direct divine source – God.
On reading your blog this morning Leigh two things struck me deeply. Firstly the level of love and vibration you now have to hold all equally is very inspirational and secondly I was saddened by the lesser feeling I carry, and have for decades, about being in a same sex relationship. So much to ponder on here!! Thank you Leigh for exposing this well hidden issue for me.
Comparison is insidious in the way it weaves its way into our thoughts and contributes to a false foundation of which we can believe is us. Reflection and willingness to ask questions can exposed what is not ‘truth’. This is a beautiful and honest blog bringing so much healing for us all. Thank you Leigh.
Reading this article again I had the sudden revelation just how debilitating it is to have an unloving judgment about another. How by having such a thought I am creating a gap between myself and them, which creates the emotion of sadness. Then as I realised this I realised that the ‘gap’ was in truth within myself as by that judgment and creation of the emotion I had separated from my true nature. My true nature is love and in love there are no emotions and I was choosing the emotion rather than staying with love. Gosh.
Between myself and them, which creates the emotion of sadness. Then as I realised this I realised that the ‘gap’ was in truth within myself as by that judgment and creation of the emotion I had separated from my true nature. My true nature is love and in love there are no emotions and I was choosing the emotion rather than staying with love. Gosh.
In reconnection with this article today, this line stood out – “making it impossible to fully love another equally.” – What I realised is that it is not only impossible to love another equally but to love ourselves as well. The degree to which we hold each other at bay also feels to be linked to an inner acceptance that is held to equal degree.
Your comment Joel feels very much like it is being delivered from heaven. I find myself exactly right now deepening my acceptance of the true power, beauty and grace that I hold. Acceptance I am finding is not simply a word we utter and it happens. Acceptance in my experience is making to choice, continually to allow my self to feel my womanlyness and to walk, in grace with it.
You have put that so well Leigh – ” Acceptance in my experience is making the choice, continually to allow my self to feel my womanlyness and to walk, in grace with it.” I can deeply feel this expression and I know there is more work for me to do on this one, thank you for stating it so clearly.
As I was reading your blog Leigh, I was pondering on what “Expressing Love to All, Equally So”… truly means. Could it be that it is not about what we can DO for another to show we love them, but more of reflecting back to them our own essence, which is love, and the more we deepen our connection with this love and hold it with ourselves first, then our love is naturally expressed out to all others equally. I know that ‘loving everyone equally’ can be rather confronting to some, including me, but when we are deeply connected, and Serge Benhayon is a (near) perfect example of this, then loving everyone equally is the norm, because we are all equally made of Love, we just need someone to mirror it back to us.
Yes Sandra, this is exactly what I feel. Being tender, loving and appreciative with myself and letting this be my natural way of being, allows me to love others in the same way I love myself. This, for me is a constant place of growth, as whenever I feel that I am not open and loving with another, I am being given the moment to heal as to what it was that triggered me to be hard and locked away, not just from another, but in these moments I am also holding myself away from the grace of my own love.
Such beautiful honesty Leigh. I too had held the similar belief that same sex couples are lesser. But what felt worse was the controlling religious belief that to be in a same sex relationship was sinful, wrong and feelings of disgust came up for me. This feels very hurtful and sad. Because in truth I know we are all equal in the eyes of God and come from his divine essence.
This is a very heartwarming blog Leigh. What really came home to me is that we can’t truly love those we say we do if we do not embrace the whole of humanity as being equal. I mean if we hold a particular person, race, gender or age as being less than us this affects our relationship with ourselves, and the ones we love. Freedom to love everyone is so liberating.
I am feeling, that if I allow judgement or comparison in, that to do so, I have reacted , in a milli second to something and have stopped fully loving me so I feel deeply now that this is the key to loving all, equally so. That is to fully include me in the all.
Leigh, it sure is true that ‘comparison to others is so very debilitating’. It is exhausting when we have a constant radar scanning to see if someone is doing better or worse. Comparison holds us back because we can think we’re doing okay if someone is doing worse so we justify our behavior, or we give up because they are doing better, or ’push to prove’ that we are better. It can appear hard to pinpoint a belief because it seems just so much the way we are, but there is a great sense of freedom once we see that we have chosen to believe it and know that we can also choose to let go of it.
Dear Sandra,
It took me a while, but justifying my choices is something that I feel deeply I have cleared a lot of from my body. As I discovered, when I was justifying myself I would invariably be putting another down. Or, making myself less and both things now feel horrible. It really is a behaviour I have to watch for carefully though. As a child I found that I often had to explain why I did something and in this I learned many ways to justify myself, none of which allowed the truth, from my soul to be spoken.
As both as a parent myself and as a child I know that the question of why ,I or my child, was doing something was in so many cases with the best of intentions to understand the other it had, however, the most detrimental effect. The result you express Leigh, to learn to justify and by doing so to seed doubt in oneself. Oh how harming is that?
We think it is us when we have a thought about someone on meeting them, but we choose to bring in whatever thought we are currently having.
When I go into an interaction with someone, and I have an agenda like a need to be a certain way with them, my love is held back. If I go in as my natural self and not needing anything from them, my love is present.
The simplicity of being present is never to be underestimated.
Our beliefs hold us like a bird trapped in a cage. We can think that we have the whole picture, but really we can only see and experience what is there within the cage. When we break free from the cage (that is our beliefs) there is so much freedom for us to spread our wings and be all of who we are without the limitations that we once had.
It is so interesting that a belief is often founded on one experience that was negative and then we let that cloud our sight of other similar situations. The beautiful thing though is that with an experience that is true, like you meeting the two beautiful women, can also re-imprint this whole belief into what we always knew was true.
A beautiful blog to read Leigh, so honest and real. Most definitely inspiring everyone to be really honest about any beliefs or feelings.
Expressing love to all equally sounds like it is easy, but very few do. Why is this so? We are all brought up in different parts of the world, different families, have different experiences, so therefore experience different hurts along the way. All of these things shape us and how we interact with the world. But what we forget, because we focus on all that stuff that shapes us, we forget that we are all the same, no matter where in the world we come from. That is, we are all equal, we just have to remind ourselves this fact, it can make a huge difference in how we express and communicate.
You are right Raegan through our hurts we only see the differences between ourselves and others. we have to look deeper and see that we are not our behavior, and others are not their behavior, when we are treated with love equally we drop the façade and come back to love, now its our turn to coax and encourage the love we know that is within all people.
Living from the Absoluteness that we are all the Sons of God, comparison cannot exist in this world. Evil cannot exist in the Absoluteness of love that we already are.
Thank you Adele for this beautiful and very true reminder.
Thanks for this beautiful blog Lee.
What I have noticed in myself is the tendency to treat the connection I have with some people with more reverance than my connection to others. This has seemed “normal” for so long but now l see so clearly how this view has also limited the depth of all my connections. By holding the person I pass in the street as precious as an old friend I instantly depen my connection to myself and this in turn deepens my potential to connect with all others. Love expands love.
Dear Tim,
This certainly is a process Tim, recognising just where and when we are holding back our love and making the changes needed to again let our love flow free. And yes as you say above. Love expands Love. For me personally the hardest thing that I had to accept in the very beginning of this process for myself was that how I was not living was not loving, for it was how the world had taught me to live and everyone said that that was love. It took me quite a while, infact it was not until I began to feel the difference between that fake love and the warmth, stillness and strength of our love from deep within that I could begin this process.
I love what you express here Tim, that you have seen through the “normal” way of connecting to others and begun to feel a sense of true equality. I enjoy your use of this word ‘reverence’ which shows a deep appreciation of others and with is a deepening honouring of yourself. As you say “Love expands love”.
This is another of the countless things about Serge Benhayon that is totally inspirational in that he holds everyone, and I mean everyone excluding none, in exactly the same love no matter what we’ve been into or up to, or where we come from, seeing that we are all just the same with no comparison or judgement. This is something that is so worth aspiring to be.
It sounds like fantasy doesn’t it Kevin, saying that someone, like Serge Benhayon, can hold everyone equally. But this is my experience too and the amazing thing is that Serge is not unique, we hold this love inside of us also, yet choose not to tap into this endless source which is our true way of being. Where would we be without such a true inspiration and I agree, there is nothing that comes close to aspiring to be all the love that we truly are and then holding everyone else in this love too.
Yes I can feel that too Gina. The tension which appears when I go in comparison. When i put myself lower then others, which i did a lot i can then not speak freely. It doesn t come form the fullness of me so it has even more effect. It confirms even more that i am less. I stopped the game.
What helped to do this is the fact that we are all sons of God equally so. If someone puts him or herself above me or judge me I don’t need to go down. Because with that I make it my issue, which it is not. I can feel the equalness as it has always been my power in life. And if people behave in ways i always check if God is meaning for us to live like that. If not fitting into my feeling of how God wants us to be together i leave it with the other and i know then that there is nothing wrong with me.
What is also important is the fact that it is not just if we put ourselves above others, we can also choose to put ourselves down, like less then others. Both are the same, both are a game and equally harmfull. One can not do without the other.
For a while i was keeping someone like higher then me, an attitude that she was better. And i blamed her for putting herself above me (which she did). When I felt deeper in it I could feel how I was equally responsible for that and made myself less. When i dropped the game the relationships started to shift. If one stops the other get confronted and is invited to stop too.
What you bring up here Leigh is such an important subject for us all to be more honest about so we can start to be more loving with ourselves. The judgement to others is always a way to fulfill ouselves with illusionary feeling good because there is a lack of true feeling good in the body. If we are fulfilled with love in ourselves we will just find ourselves appreciating others.
We have these thoughts and then we dismiss them by pushing them down, conveniently forgetting that our thoughts are a living thing and it is our responsibility to guide and choose them with love.
It is quite fascinating to feel how our alignment to beliefs is related to our agenda and our agenda is always related to our hurts. We have to be aware of this fact that usually clouds us because the name of the game is to confirm ourselves as being less by judging others being less.
Reading this blog, I could feel there’s a part of me that still holds a picture of how the world should be, and keeps me feel safe in the world – and that feels rather jarring to the love that I know I am.
My upbringing that saw same sex couples as somehow being less has offered me a moment where I can feel better than another person.’ What struck me here Leigh is that it matters not what the judgement is about, it is the tension in feeling ‘less than’ that looks for the opportunity to feel ‘better than’! You have made this point very strongly and highlighted just how baseless ideals and beliefs truly are – especially the ones that that separate us in any way. Hang on, isn’t that every ideal and belief? Thank you Leigh.
Leigh, I so admire your great honesty here in your sharing. We take on so many beliefs from a very young age from our parents, extended family etc., and then the people that we are mixing with in our more vulnerable years when we are still inclined to believe others. Many of us have heard comments from family members talking together, comparing details about brothers and sisters, e.g. who is handsome, who is pretty, who is clever etc. It all starts so early. We experience comparison everywhere, at school, who is popular, who is clever etc. so when someone is ‘different’ to others, then there can actually be great fear engendered in some of us, resulting in racism, ostracism, comparison of who is better than the other. It is all so far away from how we are meant to be living, in brotherhood, knowing that we are all actually absolutely equal in our essence. It is wonderful that you have realised how hurtful it is for us to be comparing ourselves with others who may live their lives in a different way. I too have done much adjusting in my years on this earth, as I have come to realise just how equal we all actually are. Comparison and judgment are two things that I am still working on within myself. It is so easy for me to feel that others are better than me, old belief stuff from way back. Yet, in my essence I know that we are all equal.
Beverly,
I greatly appreciate your contribution here. Your openess, assuredness with self and freedom you have to share what you have is felt. We at all constantly nipping comparison in the bud, when ever it appears. But simply the fact that we are is in itself an amazing reality.
Doing so can only bring more beauty to be shared in our world.
This is a beautiful expose Leigh. Certainly for myself – because you have presented that “… the belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am …” I can see I also hold myself in comparison, so how can I possibly see myself as equal? I can feel the tension this arises in me.
Even believing someone is more than you is awful. Any kind of comparison is poison in your body. It is great to recognise all these thoughts that arise and catch them when they happen. We will be so much healthier when we realise and celebrate how awesome we all are.
Well said Amanda -‘ Any kind of comparison is poison in your body.’ This is huge in society and the more we take responsibility and make choices that are truly loving and caring for ourselves the more we can stop any thoughts that are harming us and keeping us less. The more I appreciate myself and value all that I bring there is no room for comparison anymore.
‘This is so true, and one would think it so simple yet with lifetimes of not doing that some of us can get disheartened when we feel that we are really changing and then situations appear to show us that we are not as “advanced” as we had thought. This is where a stop to appreciate ourselves is so vital and to reconnect to the love that is always there waiting to be nurtured and nourished in the human body.
I am finding Ariana that it is a choice that has to be made over and over again, as the momentum of comparison has been so great in my body that it can show its ugly head in many, many different ways. It is taking me to a greater love for myself and a deep appreciation of how super supportive it is to stay present and connected to my body. For the joy of me is always there. This alone is the greatest support for from the joy I can only enjoy another equally.
Beautifully said Benkt. The thing that stands out in what you share is that inequality is only present in our lives when don’t love ourselves fully. It really is very stilling to feel this, as it leaves the choice completely up to us, to accept and love ourselves in full, or not.
‘Expressing love to all equally so’ will one day be our normal way of living. It will be an all inclusive way of being with each other that leaves no one out and constantly folds us all back into the bosom of God.
Reading your blog Leigh makes me realize that there is so much that all of us have misunderstood about what love is. We talk about how we love this person but not the next person yet that is quite impossible; because when we connect to love it is impossible to love someone more than another. I never used to think this was possible but more and more I know that this is the truth. This is not to say that we have intimate relationships with everyone, this is not the case. The way we express our love with everyone will be different but the actual love that is there for everyone is the same.
Yes Elizabeth this is so true. The love for all is innately inside of us and is actually a great marker in our bodies. If we are not feeling love for everyone, we have left the divine true essence of who we are. Once felt we can choose again to connect to our bodies and the still presence of love inside.
I so agree with you Leigh, “if we are not feeling love for everyone, we have left the divine true essence of who we are”. This is so true. When I am truly connected to my innermost, I feel such a huge expansion in my body, a great building of warmth, and then an amazing feeling of wanting to wrap my arms around the whole of humanity, such an amazing feeling of love for all, and I can feel the complete equality of us all. I know we are all truly brothers. It is only when I lose that connection that comparison ever comes into my mind.
I love how you qualify the essence of true love Elizabeth. When we connect to this love we absolutely know it is the truth because we are from and of this love. To not live in this way, only loving some and not loving others, deeply hurts us because it is not our natural way of being.
I too have definitely misunderstood what love truly is and lived my life according to this illusion. I thought love was based on emotions and exclusive to partners and family often with some painful consequences. Now that I finally know what love is I can naturally feel a love for all, but as you say Elizabeth, “The way we express our love with everyone will be different”.
This clearly shows that equality is the basis for true love, and that that is what is making it possible to truly live being ourself, as there is no need to impose or make yourself feel less to anyone.
If I am with myself I do not have expectations and just can enjoy the moment as it is. Not feeling any comparison or judgement, but equality with others. A spectacularly simple and simply spectacular feeling of stillness and joy deep inside my body.
It is the push to prove ourselves that does the harm and brings in these beliefs. When we believe that we’re not enough and have to prove ourselves, of course the next behaviour from there is that we have to fight to be seen or recognised in life and so push another down. When we allow ourselves to surrender to our hearts and live from there as our guide, we realise that this Is more than enough. It can take time to let go as we are confronted by all of the barriers and ill beliefs that we have run our lives by, but time is all that is needed. Realising that we are more than enough is something we will ALL come back to, one way or another.
I love what you have shared here Shevon. The one thing that I have always tried not to do is impose on another, yet in energetic truth, when I feel any need to prove myself, I am actually imposing on others all the time.
I love what you have said here Shevon and Leigh. And what I felt when I read it was, when we feel we need to prove ourselves, we are not holding this equal love for ourselves.
Comparison is a killer of you. It brings in something from the outside that is not you and into the body. An outside source that is a poison. Why do we compare? Is it simply a moment in time we are choosing to not be with our-self.
Love how you expressed that, Rik, I so agree with you. When we go into comparison we have brought in something from outside, as you say, that is not what is there within me. When I go within, all I find is how equal we all truly are, and such an amazing love for myself and all of us. How crazy it is that we ever separate from this! Comparison is such a killer.
It definitely is Rik, a moment in time where we are choosing to not be with ourselves. That is the only way we can let lovelessness in and not feel the absolute equality between us.
So true, Rik. If I find myself making a comparison statement it feels like poison in my body and I know I have moved away from love.
What you share here Leigh is beautifully honest and such an important topic to bring awareness to – thanks for starting the conversation.
This is a beautiful place to have come to inside you and is the true gift in our lives simply connecting to the love we are and living it as one equally connected to the all. Knowing “There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.” a beautiful real expression and inspiration for us all.
If I’m not with my body then where’s the love. This is something I wrote for myself some time ago and it is a great reminder for me when I momentarily step away from my natural loving self and go into judgement with myself or others. It reminds me of who I really am and settles me back into truth.
I spent most of my life doing this Leigh, ‘I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person’, reading this i can feel how exhausting it is to be constantly comparing myself to others, I have stopped doing this so much lately, as I have more confidence in myself and am aware of the beautiful qualities that I bring to the world, this has helped me to stop judging myself and others and accept where Im at and where others are at and have a relationship based on understanding and love rather than judgement and comparison.
Relationships based on understanding and love are truly much more beautiful than those where comparison rules. i have definitely not mastered this fully, yet each day another experience is right there for me offering to me the choice in the moment to choose my love. I am getting more clear on these offerings and feeling more to simply let what I feel be there, bringing understanding into the equation. This so frees me to stay present and with my love. It truly is a great joy to feel, choosing love over long held patterns of judgement.
These long held patterns of judgement can do a great job of keeping us separate from our own great love and from knowing that we are all equally part of the One great love, if we let them. You have shown how powerful it is Leigh when we choose to be honest about our beliefs and expose these patterns as not belonging to who we naturally are.
Leigh I love that you are so honest and I love what you share about your process of allowing yourself to be so honest. This following sentences is a key one for me: “. . . believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself – making it impossible to fully love another equally.” I have to admit that I was also guilty of believing this as well. It is good to openly talk about that so that there is a possibility to accept the truth that we are all equal.
This is such a golden example of being open to accepting that we may have made a mistake, that life might just be a bit different from how we have perceived it, and look what this honesty and true courage brings, new awareness, deeper wisdom and more self embracing love. Awesome.
That is so important Samantha, ‘accepting that we may have made a mistake, that life might just be a bit different from how we have perceived it’, letting go of what is not true as we become more aware, this then allows us to become more aware.
Agree Susan, The lack of self worth will blind us to the beauty that is in all equally so.
You show Leigh and brilliantly so, just how the thoughts we have that we are ‘not good enough’ end up in this yukky game of constant comparison and measurements of ourselves and fellow human beings. Time to embrace ourselves and know we are stars because then everyone else gets to see who they truly are.
Exactly, Joseph, we are equal in our awesomeness and the more we can reflect that, the more everyone can feel it.
Hear hear Carmel – that is exactly it. The reflections are so important as are the confirmations of our selves as well as others, and the offer of evolution too. Anything less does not truly serve,
To be constantly measuring and placing myself as better or worse is just exhausting. I can really relate to this awful constant process that took place when my self talk and awareness didn’t pick-up on this: “… believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.”
Is it not strange: we feel that we want to be equal, yet we constantly compare and measure, feeling superior or inferior and from there constantly try to be different. Why do we refuse to love ourselves just as we are and by that create a platform to love others in the same way?
A great question Michael, one that each of us could explore for ourselves. So that again we can love ourselves deeply, holding ourselves with the greatest of honour. This I find supports me greatly to discern when unloving thoughts enter and helps me to return again to my body and my love.
I love what you share here Michael, so true and great to reflect on, ‘Why do we refuse to love ourselves just as we are and by that create a platform to love others in the same way instead of distracting ourselves with comparison?
It is a great paradox to explore – the desire for equality, yet the drive to continually compare and judge ourselves as either better or less than.
Yes Joel, those few small words encompass our whole lives and are very revealing. Do we live by a philosophy of equality or do we make things up as we go to suit ourselves?
Thank you Leigh for sharing with such honesty as it is an inspiring example for us all to have the same level of integrity.
But so awesome to admit this to ourselves as well, because to admit this you must know love to know what is not love. To have lived this way we must have been in the dark to who we really are but when the light comes on we must nominate all that does not belong – and move on.
To expose a long held belief such as this is so important for the collective consciousness it comes from to be dismantled and done away with for the lie and mistruth that it is. It can be difficult to get this honest with ourselves but when we do it is so freeing as we get to feel more of who we are and what is true.
I have been in homosexual relationships for quite some time and felt to defend that decision I have made because I knew of the lack of acceptance in society.
As I life now in heterosexual relationships I caught myself holding that believe myself, ouch! We have to be very careful what we accept and what our life is truly about living love. And to live love you need another person but the sex of the person doesn’t matter. What only matters is that both people commit to be and live that love.
“I know deeply inside that we are all equal and it doesn’t matter whether we choose a heterosexual or homosexual relationship”. The world needs to hear that! Thank you Leigh!
Janina, the strength in your comment can only come from one who has realised that love is the key. And sharing your life choices is so beautiful, as I am sure that there are many who have felt exactly like you have shared that can be greatly supported by what you have said.
Expressing love is so important, yet one has to find who he / she is in order to express the divine source, for thy are it.
This is so true Danna, I read a text today that said to love and appreciate those we love. In the text I felt much gripping emotion that actually felt judgemental, for not loving and caring for those we love. It was actually an eye opener for me, for on initial reading if I was to come from my head I would think that it was thought provoking and inspiring to do as it said. Yet in deeper pondering, there was nothing in the text that mentioned that love and deep respect for others can only be lived if the love of self and care of self has been first fostered. How so very, very tricky. For also what was missing was the love of all, for in it the focus was only on those that are close to us. A truly horrible piece of writting, that many would get hooked by.
Hi Leigh
‘What this experience has brought forward for me to consider is how any comparison to others is so very debilitating.’ Leigh you are not alone in this… comparing ourselves to others about anything is so destructive and yet we are encouraged to do so from a very young age.
Whether it is about relationships, gender, sexuality or even just in general the moment we compare we have lost the very thing that we cherish. Our connection.
We have been everything before and will be again and when we compare we are denying apart of ourselves.
Wonderfully said Kathryn, comparison is such a cruel and retarding thing for us to do, but we do it all the time. It has been ingrained in us from a young age, almost like osmosis, because we certainly are not taught to compare ourselves to others, it comes from looking out at the world, what is reflected back to us, how are families were, how we feel about ourselves growing up, can foster comparison.. It is up to us as adults to bring in and develop the love within, so we do not need to compare what is outside of us.
I was struck by your awesome honesty about this Leigh, it is something that most would just accept as the way they are. Delving deeper into understanding the why and where of such thoughts and attitudes has definitely brought greater understanding and acceptance. We are all born equal, with no judgement or ideals built into us. It is our choices and moulding from then on that creates so much variation and supposed ‘difference’.
‘ the belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am, has been my trigger to having the thoughts that same sex couples are less than I am’. Leigh I appreciate your honesty. It highlights how many insidious beliefs are held that are simply a device to make us feel better about ourselves. It is a hollow feeling however, because deep down we still do not feel enough until we heal that which stands in the way of fully appreciating ourselves for whom we are.
Leigh thank you for your utmost honesty and also having the courage to write about it, share it, expose it for all of us to read, grow and learn from. Because you are not alone in allowing beliefs to taint, prejudice and shape how we feel about certain things in life. It is very easy to keep those beliefs, not name them and allow them to drive behaviours. Good for you for being open and honest and celebrate the revelations that have come as a result.
If we are not prepared to fully love and appreciate ourselves, we will jump into comparison and thereby block to feel how equally amazing we all are.
That’s it Michael – it starts with us first – how can we possibly hold another as equal if we consider ourselves less than others …that comparison is very degrading as it also does not allow for any evolution at all.
Yes, very inspirational, and a great reminder to bring awareness to forms of comparison we may be holding – they hide in many ways.
Great to bring this to the fore Leigh. It is easy to lever ourselves up by ‘hidden ‘ prejudices and comparisons that are simply the result of us not feeling enough.
I love your honesty and sharing with us all Leigh – I myself got really sucked into ‘old beliefs’ (without questioning at the time) that some peoples way of living/relationships were not at all acceptable in society. This was fed to me as a child from my elder relatives (not blaming them but obviously handed down from previous generations as a given ‘truth’) – and it stuck like glue. Until! I started to work more out in the community, I began to have another view on life and those around me, starting to experience, feel, open up and wake up and realise for myself that, underneath we are all the same. It is only our lived choices that differ.
Thank you Leigh for your honest sharing concerning Ideals and beliefs. I sometimes am shocked when one raises its head in my life and I haven’t realised it was still there, and it is about being absolutely honest with myself and letting go completely. Not giving myself a hard time about it but accepting that we are all equal and not perfect. There are some amazing comments that I have learnt much from so thank you everyone.
What an amazing blog Leigh. I can really relate to, ‘believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’
Recently I was doing an activity with a friend and it was an activity in the past I was pretty good at. What really shocked me was a feeling of arrogance I had that was immediately followed by comparing myself to my friend and wondering if I was better at this activity or not. I could feel it was a really old pattern of trying to make myself feel good about myself. It felt SO ugly – how could I be doing something and then go into competition with my friend so instantly.
Though uncomfortable to feel how unloving it felt for us both and what a wedge it put between us even if just for a moment, it was great exposing a pattern of trying to better myself through doing and how lost I am when I do this. How important it is to appreciate who I am so I don’t go around having secret, internal competitions with unsuspecting partners. And how important it is for me to celebrate these moments, the sensitivity I have to realise how yuck these moments are so I choose to love myself instead and am able to be love with those around me.
It makes no sense to bash myself for instances like this (another old pattern) because that only makes me critical of myself which calls in my wanting to make myself feel better by comparing myself to others in anyway whatsoever and a downward cycle can ensue.
Thank you dearly for this sharing Karin,
Today I found myself in the energy of better than and less than, with people that I felt I could not expose this with, so I stilled myself, feeling my feet on the floor, my bum in the seat and sat with it. Yes it does feel horrible in the body. Also once let in the thoughts to continue with the comparison are relentless. It took great resolve to stay present with my body and to allow my love to again fill my cells and to allow my body to expand back to the truth of who I am. When I did though, everything else had no say any more.
I know this one as well, feeling better or less, It feels awful in the body and it creates a tension. For me it helps to stop and to come back to me, knowing that I just have to return to presence. In this moment, there is no more or less, there is just what is.
What a great comment, Karin, and I can relate especially to, “trying to better myself through doing” … this also has been an unconscious behaviour for me to ‘act out’ and one I’ve been doing at my own expense. The possibility to, “allow my love to again fill my cells” (as Leigh says in her comment here), is held at bay, and I continue on in hardness – not a way I wish to be living life! It’s wonderful to have ‘called this out’ as we now can continue in this momentum no longer in pretence of ignorance of this behaviour to hold love out … and thus begins the healing.
Making myself smaller or bigger is an expression of the same arrogance. How liberating it is to express simply as who I am.
This is very well said Felix. Refreshing – to be who we are not what we think we should be.
We are love, and we are all connected. This has been proven over the years by people all over the world when disasters strike, our true naturally caring and loving nature shines through every time and we are there for all no matter their race or culture. And in those times, everything is stripped away and we do actually just see our equal brother right there in front of us needing our help and support. It’s such a shame that we need these kinds of disasters to bring us all together, but also a great reminder, of our natural pull to humanity and our part in it.
This is a trick many of us have played on ourselves “I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person.” Choosing to compare and measure ourselves against another results in us not feeling connected with ourselves or other people. Letting go of this habit results in true appreciation of ourselves and others. Simple and beautiful.
A powerful blog expressing what is going on in the world and the lack of expressing love espcially equally for all . The separation and divisions from different religions ,cultures and ideals and beliefs are really quite horrific when we consider we are all one and the same love underneath with an equality and loving oneness and divine beings of God on earth all equally so.I love your new platform of freedom and life leigh thank you for sharing it.
What a great re-read of this blog. Your words…”how any comparison to others is so very debilitating. And that for this to enter, in a brief moment I in some way allowed myself to be less than or better than the other person”… totally show what happens when comparison sets in… It is debilitating to the body and mental health. Awesome Leigh to name why and what is happening.
This summer I went to motherland Russia. And for the first time I could see and feel clear the enormity of propaganda through the media. People are bombarded by cleverly constructed lies about West, America, homosexual people etc. The hatred is fed to population on a daily basis from all sources of information. If you don’t know different you buy it as a truth.
Thanks Serge Benhayon and Ageless wisdom for reminding us who we are and that we know better and can re-turn to the truth.
Dear Elena,
I have never travelled to Russia, but can feel in your comment how intense the media is in that country. What your comment has brought froward for me is that the same happens every where in the world, given the intensity is not as present, but the message of separation is still there in much of our media. A massive thank you to Serge Benhayon for reminding us all to feel again true brotherhood and connection in humanity and to be able to discern when this is not present.
Elena I feel the propaganda is rife wherever we go, we are being subtlety manipulated constantly. It requires a constant vigilance of the energy to read what is true and yes thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for awakening this responsibility to discern all the time.
Hi Elena,
Wow, that is so interesting thank you for sharing. But when I hear this I think these people in Russia are being conned into believing a lie so therefore they are rendered powerless and can be more easily controlled, but then I realise that the entire world is actually caught within that same smoke screen. We are all living under that force of illusion until one day someone amazing comes along and reminds us of who we really are so the illusion loses its power. Yes, thank goodness for Serge Benhayon for being this someone.
True Elena, if we accept what we read in the papers without discerning what is being said we can fall for the lies as being the truth
“How is it possible to hold a belief for so long, that in no way feels true, loving and supportive in my life?” this question is something our entire humanity can reflect on as regardless of the exact situation we all hold beliefs on some level that are completely contrary to the truth. Yet they are part of our life – I know I often didn’t question these, didn’t ask – “where did that come from?” 30 years or a lifetime later and it can still be trapping us.
That is the question isn’t David – “where did that come from’! Just be asking this question we already know it did not come from our true essence, and then we also know as it came from outside in, it is not part of us. So – let’s give it the boot …
When I was growing it was taught to love thy neighbour which to me was treat everyone the same. But with this I could feel that even though it was said it was never true that everyone loves thy neighbour. I have observed through my life and I too have taken on the approach of being selective in who I love. Well up to when I attended Serge Benhayons teachings through Universal Medicine and here I have a clear undersatanding and I have felt that we are All of the same making, we All have red blood. There is only my preconceived beliefs that get in the way of Loving Everyone EQUALLY.
Hi Leigh, I felt to comment on the feeling I was privy to while reading your blog. I felt the warmth and love of you, the acceptance and the sense of responsibility that was reflecting to me to look a little more deeply into my own yet to be revealed ideals and beliefs and bring them all to the light to be cleared and healed. Who knows what lays lurking hidden in the depths possibly from previous incarnations still to be addressed here and now in the new era of Love. Thank you.
Thank you Roberta. If we all looked upon the falseness that we have been pushed to live from, as you have explained here, we would realise that there is no reason to give ourselves a hard time over what we feel being presented to us for transforming back to love. We would rise in our responsibility and so simply choose love instead of the false pattern that is present. I am so very grateful that I now have some amazing people in my life, that support me to see these patterns, as sometimes they have me well and truly. For I am quickly realising, the walk of returning to love is not one to be done alone. It is instead one that takes us back to the center of humanity.
‘I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way.’
The love that we ARE is a quality that cannot be measured based on our beliefs.
WE ARE LOVE. Which means that when we live this love it is a equally felt by all.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Comparison is a way of living at least it has been my way of living, always looking outside of myself to get an idea of where I stood compared to others, sometimes less, sometimes more, I did not know another way. I do now and it is living the truth and discarding the believes I had and have because there are many believes as I learned to live not from the fullness of who I am but from a lesser measured form of me. Every day it is a choice to let go of this’ learned way of living ‘and choose the love I feel inside and this love is inside all.
Beautiful Annelies, how you write reminds me of what true poetry is, supporting another to connect by revealing the what is not and allowing for the what is. Very Beautiful.
I agree Annelies and Laura- true poetry indeed. Confirming ourselves first within and then holding another in that confirmation too.
A long time ago someone said those that have not sinned can throw the first stone. Those that have not lived in comparison fit nicely into this group today. When traveling through life carrying others luggage, greatly reduces what we could have experienced! So why do we allow this? By shading all that is not ours we become colour blind to the world we live in but at the same time can feel the true colour and warmth from everything.
I certainly always could feel that there was more to life than was accepted as all there is , for me I was always waiting for a revelation. The trouble was I didn’t know what I was ‘ carrying in my luggage’ Steve that was weighing me down and causing my eyes to be ‘ colour blind’. The access to a more loving, harmonious and joyful life only was available after I could see the baggage I had bought into and chosen to carry, and I was always looking for ‘something’ to make sense of me rather than knowing I was complete. So simple really but I was blindsided.
Absolutely, we need the justification from the outside that we are ok all the time- of course we compare then at the same time to get a measure, where we are at on the scale of being ok… It is an insidiuos game of the mind that leads to nowhere until the moment we set ourselves free from judgement towards ourselves and others and start to feel our selfworth and amazingness.
What particularly struck me is what is possible when you are super-honest with yourself (especially on the stuff that is not very nice to look at) and lovingly explore why you have done this and what is behind it so you can then get to the pure gold that is underneath. Hats off to you Leigh Strack.
Well shared Sarah Flenley, the true power of healing is in our honesty. Without it we are just stirring about the mud and defending the what is not. With enough love for self and support from others it is easy to expose the ill behaviours that keep us from who we are. This is something the student body of Universal Medicine does exceptionally well and hence why they achieve the results they do.
Beautifully said Laura, when we get caught up in something we often forget to connect with others. Yet it is in doing this with openess and a willingness to heal that can and does bring us to a greater love and understanding of ourselves and of others.
Nasty set up that’s been created comparison towards another to feel better or allowing yourself to feel less either or, you still miss out.
I have made the experience that same sex relationships were always compared with heterosexual relationships simply by looking at how they had “sex”. That’s why there was the opinion that same sex female relationships were less, because there was no man interacting, no penetration happening – and therefore it wasn’t “really sex”. And gay men sexual relationships were less because they were disgusting and abnormal. All this was created by men fearing to be either no more needed (in female same sex relationships) or the fear to potentially get penetrated by another man. All this has been sad to be confronted with, because it simply shows, that love is reduced to a sexual act. Love is in my eyes, and I have been with men and women, is borderless. It doesn’t matter if I love a women or a man, as long as it is love. Equally so.
Christina,
Wow. Thank you for going there and outing this very real illusion we have all been affected by. That coming together with a partner has been looked upon from the fact of sex, rather than the connection of love. This is also true in heterosexual relationships, how partnerships are more about getting satisfied sexually than making true connection with another person.
Yes this is huge, sex has gotten way to much attention in founding relationship being it hetero or homosexual. I have done this too as when you are young there is put so much emphasis on the sex part as it being so amazing through the girls magazines, tv series, movies and so on. Yet the part that a relationship first is about connection and deep love with another doesn’t get the same attention even when it is the fundamental part of a relationship and when lived more amazing than having sex.
I can remember feeling so uncomfortable in my early sexual experiences. The thoughts that I had to do this, that it was what was expected, what I needed to do to keep the relationship. The list goes on, all the while my body was hardened and I was not connected to what I felt, so unable to honour and speak about what I was feeling. These conversations are what needs to be discussed in house holds the world over. Sharing our experiences, offering to others, what we were unable to do. To say clearly and without fear what we are feeling in every area of our lives.
Thank you for sharing so honestly and openly how your belief system operated on one level Leigh. To not shy away from expressing this is truly inspirational, as I am sure we all have certain beliefs that we held – or still hold – that are not supportive. “What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.” We all feel the tension of living in the illusion of one thing or another. The great thing is to recognise it, accept that’s how it was and move on, appreciating it is no longer part of who we are as we do so.
Great to expose this untruth. What I see is that beliefs or thinking that you are better (or lesser) is a pattern to camouflage lack of self worth. So instead of dealing what that issue we go into the comparing mode. It is poison.
It is amazing how we can judge and define each other so harshly, I am sure that this is a reflection of how harsh and judging we can be with ourselves.
I see this for sure. If we can judge so readily another, surely there is something about ourselves we are not comfortable about, otherwise we would be able to leave everyone else alone.
Love it and so true – first we need to look within ourselves before having a look at another…
Parents inevitably want their children to have a better life than their own, but what are they measuring that better on? When we are comparing where is the basis for this comparison. if we trace it back it has always come from an imposition and not from our own inner knowing. It’s great when we catch the nuances of these old impositions and having exposed them set ourselves free as you are doing here. This shows me the true love that you are willing to reconnect to and the sensitivity you have to anything that is not that.
When we are encountered with an unknown/unfamiliar, in the absence of willingness to understand, enters dismissal.
When I was about 11, as a part of human rights education at school, I was shown some video. I didn’t know until then that there was discrimination going on that stemmed from an ancient caste system that went back hundreds of years ago. I didn’t know certain professions, surnames and addresses gave this away. I actually felt confused and poisoned by this information. A concept of discrimination was totally alien to me at the time. Societal beliefs have such a strong hold on us, and even though we don’t actively buy into them, they still affect us insidiously.
Fumiyo, your comment opens us all to feel the harm of teaching history with out teaching the energetic truth behind all of our past happenings.
That is so true. In our current education system, everything is compartmentalised and presented as ‘the truth’ when it doesn’t consider the All, and that is a very harmful way to ‘educate’ anyone – as this is bound to create separation.
I love how you have expressed this Fumiyo – “…. everything is compartmentalised and presented as ‘the truth’ when it doesn’t consider the All … ” – this is so true, and a huge reminder that when we find ourselves wanting to present something as ‘truth’, to be really connected first and take the ALL into consideration in ALL that we feel into and/or express.
Great point Leigh, me too, I have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than the other person. When I look back to it today I have changed so much, there is no more jealousy, nor hiding and not wanting to be noticed. This is a very common thing to not truly be self but to change like a chameleon to every person and situation. Sadly so why we do this. As soon as we stand in our true power the change can begin.
Yes Monika, it is sad that we constantly change to fit who we are with. This is something that I am very aware of lately and am beginning to adjust. The process of bringing all that I am to everything is not easy, as old patterns are chosen before I can blink. It is though, one that is so worth the loving commitment, for the feeling of love for all is to beautiful to not slowly, firmly release my old patterns that have kept me away from the fullness of who I am.
And as it should be Leigh, you have observed what thoughts passed through you and felt how they were not of you, which allows one to share in such an open honest manner as you have done. Much wisdom is shared when one expresses like this. Thanks Leigh.
It always amazes me how sneaky we can be about qualifying our expression of love for others. Even if we know that Love is all that we are, that it is all that everyone else is, and that to express love for others acknowledging that they are the same as we are, we can still have a little thought of, “except for those people”. The justification for holding onto this form of judgement can be blatant, or completely under our radar, but it is still there and is deeply divisive.
Thank you for your deep honesty, Leigh, and sharing how you have healed this for yourself, so that we may all look at and heal where we might still hold others outside of the Love that is inclusive of us ALL.
Your comment, Naren is a great reminder to watch out for those subtle judgements that put one person as different to another.
Your blog Leigh is a great reminder for me to check in a feel if the love that I feel is in fact equal. The ideals and beliefs that we grow up with having an impact on our attitudes towards others and can have a devastating impact on relationships.
Wow Leigh, I love the honesty in your blog! And it actually hits my nerve at the moment. Living in a same sex relationship, me as,well I realized, do carry the belief that it is less than a heterosexual relationship. So it is very healing to read what you shared. In effect it is just another form of distraction to not let out the love that we are – such a created belief and scenario. You nailed it and thank you for brining this up!
Dear Steffi,
Thank you. The many distractions that we all use to not express our love is wide and varied yet when we do show our love fully, it is the most beautiful feeling in the world to share this with another person.
What you offer here Leigh is a deep understanding and honesty about a belief you have taken on and why you have done so enabling you to observe it and recognise it for what it is; not you. This is awesome as we carry so many ideals and beliefs that may not be as obvious but are always there in everything we do.
I agree Carolien, whilst we hold any beliefs and ideals we will be constantly fed that we are different in some way or another. These beliefs keep us away from a fundamental unified truth that we are in fact all the same. We can argue as much as we like but ultimately even science proves it as a fundamental fact.
The key is here isn’t it: “…not you”. And as soon as we get that, we can let it go immediately and re-connect to our self. Makes such a difference.
Leigh your beautiful blog is reminding me of the time where I discovered the fact that thought I thought and believed in my mind very strongly that everyone is equal underneath it there were different beliefs held. The problem with this is that because our mind says we want to think everyone is equal it is very hard to be honest and call out the beliefs we let it throughout our lives that we may have a judgement about. We tend to burry them and therefore miss the way they play out when we are expressing in the world.
Thank you Leigh this is so real and true and a great expression as the more we learn to live the love we are and appreciate ourselves the more we learn to appreciate others truly and this also brings understanding, responsibility and joy to all our lives . Judgement leaves as we come to a true honesty and healing of ourselves and true humbleness grows and this can be felt and seen and is beautiful to feel in others and is a great reflection for us all on this learning journey back to who we truly are.
This is a beautiful subject as it definitely has been the case for me to see same sex couples as less. This is a crazy belief that does only separate me from everyone else. Love is for all and we are all equally love, so how could a homosexual relationship could be any less… this is a great way to just feel again that we are all truly equal.
There is always at least one line in an article that is a ‘show-stopper’ for me, wherever or whenever I am reading. This I have come to appreciate as another confirmation that nothing happens ‘by accident’ and that there is purpose in everything. The ‘aha’ line in this article, this morning, is: ‘I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way.’ To know, accept, appreciate and live this as my default position is everything to me now. Since as so beautifully expressed in this article it opens up a whole new quality of relationship with people and life and to not do this keeps us in separation from one another, the big picture and is horribly debilitating.
Openness, honesty and responsibility, is awesome to share in….”I am so very grateful that I have had this experience and am also super grateful that I simply didn’t brush it off as being okay.” These are the precious moments when we get to learn something, we can not change what we do not take responsibility for.
“We cannot change what we do not take responsibility for.” This is so very true. Samantha.
In my experience, this level of responsibility, takes a great amount of willingness to see honestly how we are being in our lives, and a loving determination to not allow our mind to justify our actions.
Thank you Leigh for expressing in such an open and honest way. Highlighting how debilitating comparison can be. I feel we have all done this in some form or another but to nominate, learn and heal from it is incredible. This blog inspires us to also nominate any other held beliefs that creates inequality in our life, to heal, to let them go and to therefore bringing back equality.
Absolutely, Chan Ly, this article has inspired me to shine a light in any shady corners where comparison still hides, to spot the moment when it slinks out of its corner to pounce and then follow it back in so I can find out what it feeds on!
I like that Matilda,
Finding what our comparisons feed on, is awesome. Through loving ourselves enough to feel how wrong comparison is, we want to do nothing less than to understand in full why we have thought it. Understanding shines a light on it making it easy to see and to unravel.
I love your description of comparison Matilda ‘to spot the moment when it slinks out of its corner to pounce and then follow it back in so I can find out what it feeds on!’ Reading Leigh’s blog felt uncomfortable as I could feel l still have comparison hiding in the corners.
Matilda I love the humour with which you express this. Ideals that foster comparison and seperation can be so insideous and the fact that I find every example offered here is so very familiar means erradication requires dedicated attention.
Your title Leigh just says it all ‘Expressing love to all, equally so’, just love it, so simple, yet so profound. It is a wonderful life lesson, principle, guideline, whatever you wish to call it, but expressing love to all, is something that we shouldn’t strive for but live naturally each day, and the equally so……that is expressing love to everyone, equally all the time. We are all the same, no matter what country, colour or creed.
We are Regan, we all know this as a truth, yet still let prejudice influence allowing ourselves to deepen the knowing into a true, real feeling from deep inside our bodies. Every day I find another thought, belief, prejudice to let go of. So loving all equally so is a work in progress, but one that I feel deeply now, holds in it the greatest freedom to living in this world. Free from judgement, criticism, blame to name a few of the emotions that grab us in any moment where we step away fro loving all equally.
‘I had an experience the other day that gave me pause to stop and ponder deeply my beliefs around expressing love to all, equally so. This experience exposed in me a long held belief that same sex couples are less. When I had this realisation, I felt such sadness.’
I understand what you say here and feel that all the dogma, chat and history of homosexuality is simply a set up to help those that don’t feel great about themselves to feel better, in that in this capacity, there is ‘nothing wrong’ with them.
And for those who decide to live in a homosexual way they can feel less and “wrong”. Great set up.
Take-home message for me…
“how can we love another if first we don’t see them as our equal?”
Love it – Luke – spot on !
I love the openness and honesty with which you have shared here Leigh and how you have developed a deeper understanding by peeling back the layers from the moment of realising your initial thought did not hold love equality and oneness at its heart. I find that whenever there is any thought whatsoever that shows judgment, impatience, and lack of care or understanding of another (or myself) this is always the tip of the iceberg showing that something needs unraveling as you so beautifully have done here. Since I have come across Universal I have developed a habit of paying attention to such signposts much more than before, but I find it easy to gloss over some of them until blogs like this ask me to stop and look again. Thank you for the inspiration.
Very lovely words you express here, Golnaz. It is indeed a great openness of you, Leigh, to share what you did. It is thankfully said a sharing dearly needed. Because it reveals not only what you have been through, but it reflects to many others that there are comparison, judgement and imprinted beliefs from other generations circling around in our lives. And you have offered here a great opportunity to face them and transform them into a loving perspective through honesty.
I fully concur Golnaz, it is awesome when things get shared like this, as it is such a great learning for others and myself too. The reflection allows like you said, to look deeply within and to feel for what might be hidden there still. And through sharings like Leigh’s we have the opportunity to grab it, look at it and discard it as no longer of any value to us. The value is then only in the sharing so we can find what needs to be found.
Absolutely Karina, “discarding what has no value to us”. We can be faced with many challenges, and reasons why to not do this, but ultimately, we return to the truth of our soul, and from here discarding what is not the same as our soul become a natural part of living our life.
This is a very honest blog, how often are we aware of ill thoughts or ideals that come up but instead push them back down not to feel or clear them?
Exactly and by honouring what popped up, realising it was something not confirming, we can then work with that; and sharing the whole like Leigh has done, brings then the opportunity for evolution for all others.
What you have shared here Leigh is so beautiful and honest . Feeling the love that emanates out of your body , gorgeous refection for others.
Thank you Leigh for your honesty. It was honesty that allowed you to really look at how this belief was harming you, and therefore everyone around you. it has made me realise just how destructive beliefs and ideals are, and just how insidious they are too. It is amazing to have the support to allow us to feel what we have always felt in our bodies, and to be who we are again. I have loved reading this blog and all the comments. To date my torch has been flickering over things lurking in the shadows, now it’s time to really shine the light and gently let go of what is not me.
Absolutely to your credit Leigh that you felt the ill of this belief and not only had a good look at it but understood it with so much detachment you can write about it here. Thanks Leigh for role modelling honesty and integrity.
I agree Deanne – it is awesome when one has such realisations and the awareness opens up and then it’s being shared with others so that ‘aha’ moments can be felt and then acted upon. Truly role modeling in its’ finest form.
Well expressed Monica – comparison is a very ugly game indeed and once rooting it out for exposure the horrible effects of it can be easily felt in the body. Comparison can pass through the mind a nano second and catching it is key to our evolution and return to Love.
I have the deepest appreciation to Serge Benhayon’s presentations as these have inspired me to seek deeper and bring this vile and destructive behaviour of comparison to light and choose to see people in an equal way, which has been life changing for sure.
Re-reading your blog Leigh made me feel to another dept what you have been sharing here with us all. “How is it possible to hold a belief for so long, that in no way feels true, loving and supportive in my life?” I just realised the other day that I have been fighting and resisting this ‘what feels true to me’ that comes so loudly from my body now. It is absolutely freeing to realise that I know what is true (from my body) and that I also can listen to it and make my life according to these inner feelings of what is true. Living what is true is absolutely great medicine for my whole body and being.
Yes Leike,
Feeling the absolute truth is easy, what I am finding difficult, at times, is staying with what I feel. This is leading me to consider where, how and why I make something, or someone else’s right worth more than the truth I feel from within. It is almost too beautiful to stay with it I am feeling just now, like there is some unwritten rule that the joy of living from my center is not the norm and I have to dampen it to live. Now there in lies my next question, why?
Thanks Leigh for nominating how illusionary some of our embedded beliefs are.
When I read this article I feel how far from a gentle approach to understanding both gay rights and anti-gay rights activists have wandered. Speaking up and out is a right we all hold – and needs to be upheld and exercised responsibly – but the gentle approach trumps them both.
Having said that, I know how important it is to become political and vocal when something needs to change. I have been enjoying a re-connection with feminism of late as a result of a new role, and admire the many intelligent women out there who are speaking up and out about the difficulties facing women around the world in a number of arenas. The reason we are at where we are at as a society as a whole is due to us accepting the unacceptable and making that our normal. Sometimes it takes a loud voice to shake us from our complacency. Respect however needs to remain key to that louder voicing of the truth.
Underneath all comparison lies the belief that I am less. Holding onto this for a long long time is the most harming to self and to all.
That’s interesting Simon and makes me wonder how many homophobes are people reacting to the love they see in a same-sex couple. This is not to say all same-sex couples are in true love relationships but perhaps it is easier to recognise in same-sex liaisons the courage needed to go up against societal, cultural and religious norms – for that is no mean feat and it takes a certain fortitude and togetherness to do so. ‘Coming out’ in any way, shape or form is challenging – if you are someone who has given up alcohol, in a drinking culture you will be ostracised for that; same with exercising religious views that differ from other’s, and so on. There is something powerful to behold when people stand firm in what is true for them; being in a gay relationship is an obvious declaration of that choice.
‘Coming out’ to declare something that is ‘contra’ to our statistical norms immediately puts you in a spot light (unshielded by the safety of numbers) and we are often challenged by that when we see it in another, whilst we are still with the crowd, because it calls us to ask questions of our own choices and unthinking compliance. This helps me understand why people react when someone makes a different choice to them, be that in choice of partner, food and drink, exercise or sleep rhythms, but it is so restrictive and small minded to reduce us all in that way and I am allowing myself more and more to be inspired by the opportunity to explore what is being presented, to unearth old beliefs of my own and to freshen and free up my approach to life.
Matilda,
I like very much your comment here, as understanding how and why people react to something that is different is the key to healing all judgements.
I feel inspired and freed by your comment, Matilda, and especially appreciate, “… understand why people react when someone makes a different choice to them …”. When I have the understanding of why someone reacts to my own choice about how to live some aspect of life, then I find that I no longer react to their reaction and can ‘stay’ with myself and still honour myself and my choice, and at the same time allow the other the space to have their reaction. It’s a win-win all round.
What you write here is very powerful Victoria ! I do live in a same sex relationship and I can feel what you share is true. And I know and realize what holds me back as well, sometimes showing the love in public needs a lot of courage, because you are immediately “different” and people look. I love your conclusion that it actually needs a lot of committment and that people feel that and react to that. Loads to ponder on – thank you!
This is so true Simon. This belief is across all of the world and the harm it engenders is so very painful. I have struggled with this belief for a very long time, and as yet have not completely let it go. The depth of it in my body is at times greatly shocking me. For I will step through an aspect of it only to then be faced with a deeper more insidious vein of it to deal with. But I am not giving up. Once felt the beauty of living with love for all equally. This marker is stronger and more true that to continue with the less than lie.
I don’t know, Leigh, sometimes it feels like there is no end to comparing myself with others, as one can compare with others in all aspects of life! It’s like the more I uncover, the more I see still needs to be uncovered … but, like you, I’m not giving up and it’s impossible to stop now anyway. The thread has been pulled and it’s all unravelling, a great thing is happening and one that leads to the most beautiful end result … freedom.
The level of honesty you have gone to here Leigh is inspiring and offers us all a great reflection. Nothing bad ever comes from being honest. Everyone wins, even if the truth is painful. The true harm comes from us hanging on to insidious and debilitating beliefs because we may not want to admit to ourselves that we hold them and be exposed to others.
I am impressed of the deepness of her blog aswell- this topic is often avoided and so important though to be talked about. There is so much beliefs, behaviours, struggles, expectations and comparison going on, no matter if you are hetero or homosexual living, regarding this topic I am very grateful Leigh wrote this blog.
It’s great that you exposed something that was held within you and holding you back from expressing more of you. Better out than in for all of us, so thank-you for sharing so honestly and lovingly on a topic that most would not want to admit to.
Comparison and jealousy are a poison, they destroy us and who we are if we get caught and entangled in them.
I agree Amita, comparison and jealousy is a silent poison that separates us from who we are and it has an energy that deeply harms us all. I have observed in worse cases it can fester into something more sinister which if not healed, nominated or released, it can build up leading to violence and a drive to attack another. Comparison and jealousy is highly destructive, so whenever we have these thoughts or feelings, by choosing to deal with them instantly is a healing for ourselves and for others too. This blog inspires us to do exactly this.
True Amita, and there can only be jealousy and comparison when we choose to live in disconnection with ourselves. When connected to our divine source we are absolute in our equalness and in our appreciation that each have something unique to share with the world.
Leigh your honesty is breathtaking. We all could do the same and go deeper into ourselves, connect and expose all that is not true and choose to release the ugliness that comes with feeling more or less than another human being.
Great comment kehinde2012 and I totally agree. It is a healing process for us all.
Hi Leigh thank you for throwing yourself open and writing about this, it was amazing to read. It captures the struggle that I experience so often between knowing something is not true as the evidence is before me but the little voice of dogma and beliefs is spinning in my head, i creates a conflict and a tension which if I speak from usually causes conflict,
I know well what you share Nicole, I have found the same. To realise this and own it I feel is a true turning point for many. For it brings the choice back to ourselves. To be aware of the body and speak from it in full. This I find can be difficult to do, especially if I have felt deeply hurt, but to not only creates more hurt.
Thank you Nicole. I like to highlight this part from Leigh’s blog – ‘believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself’. This confirms what you’ve shared and also highlights that the tension can build up in our body if not dealt with. This tension then often gets released in a very destructive way and in some cases resulting in violence either verbally or physically to another person. The energy of comparison and jealousy simply leads to conflict internal and or externally. We can choose not to feed this widespread destructive energy by being completely honest, recognising it when it comes up, nominate it and letting it go lovingly and gently. A powerful and inspiring blog in exposing the harm in comparison and feelings of inequality.
This was absolutely gorgeous to read and to feel the held beliefs I have carried around same sex couples. I love how you talked about knowing what was true deep within your body and that is that we are all equal. I hold this truth within me too and the beliefs I hold are not mine, they never were and it is very freeing to let them go.
‘That we are all equal’… yes, and how could it be any other way? When you read an article such as this it makes you see and feel how all the squabbling we carry on with over our apparent differences, be they religious, cultural, sexual, racial and so on are ridiculous, redundant and indulgent. This is simply the spirit having a field day, spruiking differences as a point of differentiation and entertainment.
Further to the spirit, I feel it is important to understand this as the individuating force within us that strives to keep us separate, identified with self and not the whole, and far from unity. The soul, on the other hand, is rooted in the body, in brotherhood, harmony and equalness, and knows nothing of recognition-seeking or separation. It is this soulful aspect of man we need to bring to the fore.
Hear Hear Victoria very well said.
And so to prove self. It plays out every day in just about any conversation the enormity of this as I am discovering is huge. We really do have to work hard to clear our body of our hurts, so that we too do not add to this atrocious way of living.
I once asked a friend how she came to be homosexual and she simply responded ‘I just fell in love’. That one sentence exposed a huge belief I’d had about homosexuality being something ‘other’. A loving relationship is simply that. It is amazing how weird our beliefs are when truly interrogated, but they lie hidden from view until exposed.
This is Gold Anne, thank you for sharing. How beautiful your friend did not feel the need to justify her love and simple expressed, “I just fell in love”. We are so conditioned to explain why we love rather than simply accept how all encompassing love is and whether it is with a stranger, friend or loved one it is felt equally the same.
I love your honesty and vulnerability Leigh. Whether we play the game of better or less than another it’s two different sides of the same coin.
I am noticing the discomfort in my body when I allow thoughts and behaviours that are not from love. Allowing myself to feel this is a very important step. I almost can’t stand how terrible it feels and it’s hard to believe I was able to ignore it for so long. This marker I have today is super important for now I have chosen that this is no longer for me. I am now choosing love for I am worth nothing less.
This is a beautiful sharing Katinka.
For all to know that we feel uncomfortable when we expose something in ourselves and to stay present with it until it goes is the trick. I have been one to get a glimps so to speak of something uncomfortable and then go into my head, so as I don’t have to feel it any more. But this really doesn’t work, because it stays in my body until I allow myself to feel it in full. Once felt, I notice then that things truly change.
Thank you, Katinka, for expressing such an obvious happening so simply and clearly … I too have been ignoring how my body tenses or reacts to judgemental or comparison thoughts. It’s liberating to have awareness of their effect and to now no longer ignore those signs and to come back to love.
There is great honesty here Leigh, and humbleness – thank you. Many people would hold the same opinion about same-sex couples as you once did. Being real about why you felt what you felt helps break down long-held beliefs in us all.
I know two woman who are an amazing couple, and have shown me the depth of love, care and understanding I had never seen in a man / woman partner relationship ever in my life, ( apart from Serge and Miranda Benhayon). I now hold the depth of love, understanding and care in their relationship and the relationship we have as a marker for any future partner relationship.
Comparison with others is deadly and gets us nowhere but lacking in our own beauty and appreciation and what a sad loss this is. Acceptance of our equality and beauty of us all uniquely in our expression brings true harmony, love and appreciation. A Supportive loving way of living not adhering to imposed ideals and belief systems but connecting to our innermost knowing and divinity is the only true way to live and is well worth it as our daily livingness in every way.A beautiful sharing on truly expressing love Thank you Leigh.
Totally agree Tricia Nicholson – comparison is an absolute killer in our world and yet it is perpetuated day in and day out at every level of life.
“has offered me a moment where I can feel better than another person” isn’t this amazing and such an insidious way to live, it can be with anything that makes us feel better than another from the tiniest detail to the biggest thing – all to not feel our own lack of love and self worth.
Beautifully expressed Richard, there are no beliefs in love.
Beautiful sharing Leigh and very revealing that when we feel lesser in ourselves we compare to others and either make them more or less than ourselves as a way of making ourselves feel better. What a world it will be when we all live our equalness, complete in the knowing we each have a role to play and that one is not greater than another.
“…believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself – making it impossible to fully love another equally.”
Separating from each other is our greatest downfall, but also our biggest source of identification as an individual and what attaches us to creation. The moment I allow myself to be equal, I say yes to being in co-creation with the universe and I let go of making it all about ME.
I find that when I am connected to myself ie my body, love flows naturally and there is nothing that can not be resolved. Whereas, when I lose my connection to my stillness and tenderness, I observe how hard my thoughts become…..
So true Jacqmcfadden04. I too observe the same.
Very true Jacqueline, and a beautiful revelation. Our thoughts come from our body and are dependent on the source of our connection. Mental health currently lacks this understanding and hence why we have plenty of ‘fix it’ strategies but none that truly heal the root cause, our lack of connection and presence with self. Till this is an excepted truth, mental health will continue to rise at epidemic proportions.
A great observation Jacqueline, connection to our bodies and our stillness is vital.
This blog is so true – the way we choose to accept the opinions of others and then carry that with us. I had the same with some close family members and was brought up being told that they were in some way less than us. The reasoning was utterly baseless, but I took it on and carried it with me and thus hardly ever saw them whilst I was growing up. A couple of years ago one of them died and I went to his funeral. It was a stunning event with some beautiful eulogies that gave me an amazing insight into the man. It was a real shocker to me to see and feel this family and all their friends and I felt angry at the people who had fostered this belief in me and cross with myself for having accepted their opinion as fact – as a result of which I and missed out on number of potentially beautiful relationships. But what I can feel now is that it is so much more than that, because if I close the door on anyone I am in effect closing the door on a part of me. Thus the remainder of me that I take to the rest of my life is not the full potential of me. I hope this makes sense?! And it is true. After the funeral, after connecting to the family and opening up to them I could absolutely feel myself become more. It was also a huge relief to not be holding that fetid ball of totally unjustified judgement inside of me – that is absolutely what it felt like – like some kind of toxic gall-stone (not that I’ve ever had a gall-stone – so in fact I’ve no idea whether that is a good metaphor – but you get my jist!)
This is beautiful Otto, “if I close the door on anyone I am in effect closing the door on a part of me.” I can now understand more of why sometimes I feel amazing and see other relationships in my life deepening when I open up to people that I did hold judgement or another ideal or belief against (comparison is also a great one). It is indeed a poison in our bodies to hold on something that is not true.
I so agree Lieke and Otto: “if I close the door on anyone I am in effect closing the door on a part of me.” What a huge realisation to remember, and it makes so much sense – we are all connected to each other one way or another and therefor closing off another must then close off a a part in me too.
Thank you for sharing this Otto, there is much here for us all to take to heart and live.
I love “if I close the door on anyone I am in effect closing the door on a part of me.”- that is great wisdom you are sharing here Otto. I know and feel exactly what you mean- judging someone or separating from another, is like saying no to ME. I will remember this sentence next time it happens..
I can relate to this Otto ‘It was also a huge relief to not be holding that fetid ball of totally unjustified judgement inside of me’ Holding onto beliefs can feel like poison in our body and we feel so much lighter when we let them go.
Golly, Otto, thank you for sharing this … I’m now realising what I’ve taken on about some relatives from a family member’s opinion, which has meant I’ve not seen them for a long time, what a pity. And this ‘taking on’ also extends to hearing others’ opinions about work colleagues, which causes me to approach them differently. I now intend to be how other people have shared with me, that they take people as THEY find them, not how others find them.
Oh wow Otto so beautiful for you to share this revelation you experienced. When we let the world in we become connected to the all and get to feel the enormity of all that we are.
This is very true Otto, “if I close the door on anyone I am in effect closing the door on a part of me.” There is such a misconception that we are waiting for others to love us to feel loved but the truth is as so beautifully exposed by Otto, when we hold back our love for others we are limiting the love we are for ourselves.
Stunning writing Otto and closing the door on our selves serves only self for it is within that darkened space void of love and light that we forget who we are and why we are here – to serve and revel with each other, to celebrate humanity and move on up and out of here.
Yes I can relate to this blog – those insidious beliefs that we sign up to or were sold at some point in our lives that went against what we truly felt to be true, but came with the allure of hiding our hurts or cushioning our ride a little. They sit there sometimes for a long long time, embedded in our bodies, and then start feeding our behaviours. It can be shocking sometimes when what we really signed up to is exposed.
When I reallised that my beliefs about homosexuality were beliefs that I had taken on from others and were not mine it made me question so many other beliefs that I had taken on. I have gradually been freeing myself of so much belief baggage and feeling for myself what is true and what is not. The knowing that we are all equal and we are all the same love in our essence is a Divine truth.
Comparison and measuring our own self worth against another is so exhausting and confusing the more we compare the less we know who we are and therefore the more we compare.
Great point Alison that comparison is a self-perpetuating cycle or game that feeds itself.
I agree Alison, from my own experience and in school. I see children from their early years growing up comparing and trying to better themselves, their work, even what they say to everyone else.
True Alison – it is a vicious circle from which you really have to step out, otherwise it will own you .
There is this whole thing about same sex relationships not ‘being normal’ or ‘less’ (or better even) …and even a gay person loving a straight person, and feeling confused about their sexuality, and the same in reverse when a straight person finds themselves loving another person of the same sex – without being gay themselves. Love is love. It hasn’t got anything to do with sexual preference or orientation. In pondering about love over the years, and being single, i’ve learned that when we truly re-connect back to what LOVE is (truth), we realise we can love anyone because it’s the – love that we love, and not the actual physicality of the person. This love is so strong and clear. There is much freeness in feeling this, and dropping any anxiety about sexuality or who we can love, or not, including for example those who may be married. It’s the same thing. Love is that equalness you speak of Leigh, it is hermaphrodite and within us all.
“It’s the love that we love” beautiful Zofia. another thing that I am coming to love is the honesty love brings.
It’s true Zofia, we can love anyone regardless of gender, marital status, age and so on. And I mean here, as I feel you do, the universal love we can hold all others in. The expression of love in physical intimacy is reserved for a partner of equal standing; love can be expressed for all.
As a corollary to that, it is interesting to ponder what stops us from loving all equally? I can read this article, connect to what is expressed therein and feel it strongly, then feel something less than that throughout my week or day. When we are off track in that way we have reacted to old hurts triggered by the fresh incident in front of us, or have gone into some sort of ‘right or wrong’ judgement. All great to be aware of so we can get out of our own way, and that of love.
Beautiful sharing Victoria, I too have moments in my days where I feel less than the beauty I feel when fully present aware and open to the love I am and feel for all. As you say the truthfull acknowledging of this is the only way to address how we are when faced with the challenges of life. Finding a way to stay present and full in my body when faced with my hurts is an ongoing commitment for me.
Love can be expressed for all – this simply resonates in me. No need to see anyone less or different.
Beautifully expressed Zofia- it is the Love that we love- SO TRUE !
“Living every day deeply feeling just how beautiful, loving and supportive I am, without wavering or falling back into any old beliefs that do not support this truth that I have connected to.” Thank you, Leigh, these are beautiful words to live by.
They are indeed Janet, sometime we can forget the true level of love, depth , wisdom and beauty we already are and can live.
This is an amazing blog exposing the dominant gender norm we live and how everything is hold in a social order to make people all the time compare, judge and not feel the grandness we truly are. If we make it about being better than another because only that way we get recognition and identification we will never ever reach equality as equality is lived from our inner heart and the knowing that we are all equal Son’s of God and that our physical expression is just this a form of expression, but not who we are.
I agree Rachel, the roles we carry, some recognised by society some not, are keeping us in a constant drive of needing to fulfill a norm and as such are keeping us from truly feeling and enjoying who we truly are.
‘Living every day deeply feeling just how beautiful, loving and supportive I am, without wavering or falling back into any old beliefs that do not support this truth that I have connected to.’ This is beautiful Leigh. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to know and live the TRUTH.
Thank you Kathryn,
The last couple of days I have felt a very not so subtle pull to deepen this within myself. So am feeling a little out of balance, it feels like my body has gone there, but it is taking great commitment from myself to stay present and to live it.
If we all chose to live with such wisdom that you present here so beautifully Leigh, we would have no judgement, no comparison and no competition, only equality and brotherhood. This may sound utopian but is not the fact that we see love as being available for some but not for all, the very seed that allows such emotions and conflicts be our norm?
Well put Joshua -“…is not the fact that we see love as being available for some but not for all, the very seed that allows such emotions and conflicts be our norm?” A question we all can ask ourselves and then take appropriate measures to start making a difference to this ill thought and behaviour.
It is Joshua,
Love is so simple, but can not be truly expressed unless it is held within our bodies. So the commitment to loving all comes first from committing to our own bodies.
What Leigh writes is living true brotherhood. So much of our ills and woes are because we impose on everyone else. If we allowed each other to be, we would be both physically and as a society in a very different place.
Hear hear Gyl, so true – we have not learnt and/or forgotten true brotherhood,the separation in the world is huge, and it starts with brotherhood to ones self first and then extending it out so all will be connected again eventually.
Very honest Leigh. Very honest. We all have ideas about what is better and how to make ourselves feel better (or worse) about ourselves by comparing with others. Great to be talking about it and letting these ideas go coming to realise we really all are just the same and we are all making the choices that make our lives what they are.
This is very poignant for me today Kate,
” we are all making the choices that make our lives what they are”. poignant because I am realising very quickly, that it is not the big choices that create the life I have, but the moment to moment ones where I either unwaveringly support myself, therefore all others, or if I waver and allow my hurts to run the moment.
Agreed Kate, the honesty expressed by Leigh is very inspiring and it also tells us that things can be very simple, that is we are all equal, and yet we complicate this and let our issues, ideals and beliefs get in the way.
‘I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person. My upbringing that saw same sex couples as somehow being less has offered me a moment where I can feel better than another person.’ Wow, reading this really woke me up!
Thank you Leigh for your honesty and openness in exposing what many people feel. Not just with same sex love, but anyone, any where. Where someone lives or what job they have, the homeless or wealthy, there is comparison. That comparison keeps us separate.
Comparison and jealousy are poisons that rot us. When I allow these thoughts in, I can literally feel them eating away at me. Revolting.
So true Natalie, we keep ourselves separate from each other by comparing to others and yet in knowing that we are all equal and being able to live this there is a lot of celebrating to be done of each other.
“I am so very grateful that I have had this experience and am also super grateful that I simply didn’t brush it off as being okay.” When we experience something uncomfortable or go into reaction there is always underneath something that is not in harmony with our true nature. That we have taken on a way of being, or believing, that initially served a purpose for our survival when we have felt under threat, true or false, and which we have since maintained. If when we get trigged and manage to not ‘brush it off’ there is always an opportunity to evolve and return to the harmony within us.
This is a piece of Gold Jonathan. The fact that if we feel uncomfortable it is because we have left the beauty of ourselves is the key to a life of joy. For it is never because of another. This completely debunks all blame.
It’s very empowering to recognise that the beliefs we subscribe to are not in fact ours at all, but a consciousness that we buy into – and it’s in the willingness to see why and how they are convenient to us that we can actually renounce them and claim ourselves back from such impositions.
To accept and recognize that any thought that takes us away from the centered feeling of equalness is an imposition greatly supports one to truly begin to claim back our very own sense of self.. as knowing that any thing else is an imposition on our fundamental right to live our natural life is an insight into how we are influenced by energy that comes at us from outside of ourselves.
I’ve very much enjoyed feeling your acceptance of yourself as being equal to every other person Leigh. The palpable sense of coming home in your body is not surprising if we consider that by feeling the equality within others we are connecting to our own inner essence also. This is true equality, with no lip-service that is so often offered.
Yes agree rosanna bianchini – it really does boil down to acceptance….when we accept ourselves and our own sexuality feeling completely comfortable whatever this might be, then we are the same with others’ relationships too. The equality as you say. Relationship is only about connected-love, (not solely sex).
Acceptance is the key, when we truly accept ourselves in full we open ourselves to true connection, to true relationship. We accept that we are equal.
Yes Rosanna, way to often we say we are equal with all, yet have not allowed how this truly feels to be in our bodies. Once felt the foundation of this truth continually impulses us to clear where and how we are in any way behaving in a way that is not equal.
Oh Monica you have shone a spotlight on the small and ugly game of one upmanship. A game that has been around since the beginning of time. An insidious game that is like a virus in our society and a game that serves no purpose other than to compound the myth of separation.
I really appreciate your honesty and your wisdom in this blog Leigh. I love the way in which you have taken responsibility for how you feel and the choices you make. I also love the way you appreciate and confirm yourself, this is awesome.
“There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so”.
We all innately know that everyone is equal. How could we not be? So it is very revealing when we find ourselves with beliefs such as this that clearly show us that we do not ‘think’ of everyone as equal or treat everyone as equal. As I write this I can feel the pain of it. The pain of separation.
You make a great point Leigh about holding yourself less or more than anther, which causes a tension in your body – this makes sense as we are by nature pulled to be equal. I am constantly finding that I have judgments about people, whether I know them or not – they jump in and I have to question where did that thought come from and why am I judging someone I don’t even know. It’s insidious, especially if I get distracted and then after some time I realise I have gone down the route of judgment but not caught myself – after all how many of us monitor our thoughts and question where the ideals and beliefs come from, and are they even ours. As in, have we taken them on as a child and accepted them as being the truth. I find that to counter these thoughts with appreciation is highly effective and feels totally different in my body, it’s as though it takes the legs from under the ugly thoughts and renders them harmless, and hence loses it’s hold.
Your point here Julie Matson, “if I get distracted and then after some time I realise I have gone down the route of judgment but not caught myself – after all how many of us monitor our thoughts and question where the ideals and beliefs come from, and are they even ours,” is a very important point to make, as we are naturally impulsed to align and know ourselves to be equal to another, so that would make any unloving thought, an absolute lie, and as you say, then renders them harmless. I love it.
Thank you Leigh for expressing with such honesty and to expose the traps we can fall into into feeling better or less than others when in essence we are all the same and can express love with another in an intimate relationship regardless of gender. Great topic to break down these barriers that have shaped our being to believe otherwise.
Leigh, I love the honesty you have written with in this blog, looking at ideals and beliefs you were brought up with as a child. I can relate to what you have written as my family had a negative view of homosexual relationships and as others have said, it does beg the question how many other ideals and beliefs am I holding onto which I am not yet prepared to be honest about?
Comparison is so easy to slip into, it feels horrible every time yet we still continue to do it, especially amongst women and the antidote of appreciation is not always so easy to connect with when we are in a cycle of betterment or bashing. It is like we enjoy comparing in order to feel better about ourselves, it is a quick way to pick ourselves up and say ‘I’m OK’ and so we carry on. We have a strange familiar relationship with self bashing too, it feels familiar and comforting to abuse ourselves. How crazy is this? When we do stop and appreciate we debase the comparison and an beautiful lightness is felt in the body which makes way for accepting all equally so.
The ideals and beliefs we take on in this world and what feels like we are born with from our surroundings are very harmful and not from us as we are purely love and part of the divinity of God. With true responsibility ,understanding compassion and inspiration these beliefs and ideals can be seen for what they are and released allowing a freedom and love for all equally expressed and what we truly know inside us all .A great sharing thank you.
When we connect to our inner heart we can feel that all relationships whether heterosexual or homosexual if coming from love are equally beautiful and true, and are to be celebrated. It’s unfortunate that the Catholic Church bans the marriage of same sex couples, and portrays them as being lesser and dysfunctional. This message from the church may override some parishioners from feeling the truth from their own hearts.
Loretta,
My upbringing was with a Catholic Mum and Protestant Dad, neither of whom went to church. So my visits to church were reserved for funerals and weddings. However a few years ago now I was feeling desperate for a connection with God, so I took myself of to church. The whole sermon was about prostitutes and how they were people living in a wrong way. Even then, when judgement and comparison was how I lived, this felt wrong, so I never went back to church. So how is it that the likes of the Catholic Church are such huge entities in the world when we can all feel the separateness that they foster? How hurt are we as people, that we choose the ‘be a good person’ over the true love we all hold inside? When we all begin to remember our love and connect with it again, there will become less and less churches and other organizations that feed of people’s hurts and fears.
Lack of loving all equally does create a tension in the body – a tension that we are not even aware of until we shine a spotlight on it. How ridiculous that we are fed and then take on all these ideals and beliefs of how life should be and then go forth and live in tension for our whole lives? Universal Medicine presents that there is another way, a true and loving way, and slowly we address these ideals within our bodies and the tension of being not who we truly are starts to reside.
Leigh your wisdom and beauty expressed here is a delight to behold. Your commitment to complete honesty and exposing what is unloving is deeply appreciated and celebrated as this is what our world so dearly needs. I love the point you made about living less than the love that we are, then comparing ourselves to others to make ourselves feel better, and this creating a tension so we constantly try to prove ourselves – a cycle that perpetuates for many! We can arrest this cycle with the first step as you have said of choosing to feel that we are all in fact equal. What follows is an exposure of all we have been living that is not that, and the opportunity to heal it, once and for all.
Reading your comment and Leigh’s blog bring me the awareness that not holding myself and other equal is such a strain on my body. To stop comparising myself to others and to deepen my self worth is the way forward for me.
Your honesty and openness is so beautiful Leigh through which your expression is such a gift. You have clearly shown how comparison severs our connection to appreciating the all the Love we are and appreciating the same in others. That when we choose to let go of the comparison our appreciation for the Love we are can then expand, where we then naturally know we are all equally of this same Love. And I love how you shared that your through your awareness of your body you could feel something was not sitting true, which you chose to honor and reflect on what you were feeling. What a powerful way to live, and heal that which keeps you living All that you truly are.
Comparison is so confining, and as you say Carola means we are not appreciating the grandness that we contribute to the whole, or that in another person. It always comes back to us though, as if we are feeling like we are better than someone then it comes from a need for us to feel better so as not to feel worse, or the love we have not been living. All of this can be circumvented by choosing to live the love that we are, and appreciating what it is we bring in our own Divine expression. When we feel this, we can feel ourselves as part of the whole and know that we all are equal in this, no matter how different we may appear from the outside.
Amelia, you lay this out very clearly. There is much for us to learn about comparison – why we do it, the consequences of doing it, who it affects, etc. There are so many tendrils beginning from even the thought of comparison. Once we have even begun to follow through with this divisive energy, it is often hard to pull ourselves out from it, unless we know that we are all truly equal.
“That when we choose to let go of the comparison our appreciation for the Love we are can then expand,…”
Beautifully expressed Carola, we need to let go of what we are not first to open the door to the enormity of love that we are.
The old game of comparisons has been one I have played for most of my life and, similar to what you have so well demonstrated Leigh, it has been a powerful influence blocking my capacity to fully see myself and others as equals. I still find pockets of it emerge which lets me know just how deeply I have taken on certain ideals and beliefs. On a broader note, I am amazed at what is revealed once we are open to asking questions about ourselves and our behaviours and beliefs.
There are so many beliefs that we can hold that stop us from expressing love equally to all which in turn holds us in separation from each other. One of my beliefs is that I can’t be completely open and be me with men who have a partner in fear of them thinking that I am trying to pick them up or fear of what their partner will say. I have been experimenting lately with offering equal love to all regardless of the situation, sometimes it is accepted and sometimes it is rejected based on what is going on for that person. However for me it is now a commitment to love to be that equally to all.
I can relate to what you said Donna. When we equally love someone it can easily be misinterpreted as a come on. Some people don’t know true love and they may take it as something more.
Yes this has been something I feel a lot of us do…. we measure our love to not disturb the equilibrium and yet in doing so we rob that person of feeling the love that we are… prevent ourselves from expanding and play games with jealously and comparison.
We are love. It comes from us. Therefore everyone should feel the emanation equally so.
I really connect with what you are saying here Donna, it is a commitment, for me first and foremost to me and my body, each day this is deepening, and of late somewhat challenging. The simplest of things that come at me loaded with energy of push or this morning I felt the “your stupid” come at me, are so very hurtful.
Committing to love has allowed me to feel and acknowledge things like this that once I would have hardened to.
Whether I make myself lesser or whether I make myself greater than another – there is no difference, for both come ultimately from a lack of connection with myself feeding my comparison with others.
This comment brings a lot of what I am focusing on at the moment to be square in my face, thank you Martin. Living my life in full, fully present in everything I choose is showing me just how little of this I have been doing in truth. It is exposing my tells and patterns. It is also very tenderly revealing how much I can trust my body. This I feel is the most important aspect to focus on and develop.
Thank you for these questions Leigh, they bring up a very much needed stop to appreciate the love that is within that knows how to live without the ideals and beliefs. I am now wondering – to what extent do ideals and believes harm us and all others? and how honestly have I been willing to feel the ideals and beliefs I still carry?
Thanks for your honesty Leigh and bringing to light how sinister comparison and better and less is in our families, communities, countries etc. I love how you felt the separation from others through a judgement that was not even yours. We are compared to others from the moment we are born, by how we sleep, feed, when we first smile, walk… the list goes on. Its a vicious circle that goes on and on until we address it like you have so lovingly and responsibly done. I can feel how deep this goes into how we are with others, but how this can all dissipate when we re-connect with ourselves and know we are all the same.
Aimee Edmonds, your appreciation of Leigh’s article is wonderful and it highlights how what we some times can consider our perceptions/opinions inconsequential but as you say this example beautifully expresses how big issues can arise from continuing to make these choices, which lead to separation and misunderstanding.
I am blown away by your honesty and your words ask me to become aware of all the things I have used to hold others as being less or more than me. Thank you Leigh.
Leigh you have offered a great role model for how to deal with an ideal or belief that is not true or equal to the love that we are. We need to see it, be honest about it but don’t own it. When we see it as something that can’t possibly be part of us, it is easy to not judge and let it go.
Wow Leigh – I can feel how you have completely let go of this belief in your body. And what a huge topic to raise. You honesty is just beautiful – this blog should be read across the world – are our beliefs truly ours or are they passed on?
Do we conform to what we ‘should’ think or do we honour what we feel in our bodies knowing the truth of what we feel is very powerful and in honouring that, it confirms who we are.
What an opportunity that is – to not give our power away to ideals but claim what is true to our bodies.
To be honest and really see and feel this .. the arrogance, comparison, the jealousy, feeling better than another etc and not beat ourselves up about it but instead accept that it is there, although not truly us, and let it go is what we need to do in order to clear this from the body. My feeling is the more we do this and accept ourselves the less space there is in the body for this to take hold.
I agree Vicky. To recognise, feel and accept these beliefs are there but not who we are, without being hard on ourselves or going into any judgement, but with deep and loving understanding, will support us to let them go. They have no power over us and do not define us. They are completely superficial that once we’ve seen and been honest about, have no power at all.
I love the way you felt it to the belief you had held and like catching butterfly, examining it and then just letting it go.
Beliefs just hinder us from being truly open in life so it great to hear from you Leigh about how you were able to bring a belief that you held into the light of day and see it for what it was – a hindrance to expressing more love in your life.
Beautiful analogy Steve
Oh that is a sweet analogy Steve – and just like watching a butterfly, these old beliefs can just flutter away.
Beautiful analogy, what a lovely way to see the letting go of an ideal or belief.
And using the butterfly analogy it just shows with what gentleness we can let something go rather than being hard on our self for having held onto something that was not us in essence.
I am aware that I do not yet feel everyone as equal, but allowing myself to become more aware of the times when I treat one person differently from another highlights my lack of consistency, and enables me to explore my behaviour so that I can let go of any ideals, beliefs and intentioned that are at play in every encounter.
The heart knows a much greater truth than the mind can ever hold. If we were to let go of all the beliefs and ideals we hold we would have a body filled with a great wisdom and true loving intelligence, all of which comes from the heart. A mind disconnected from its own heart will always view itself as separate from others since such a mind is also born from separation. When we connect to our own inner heart we become part of something much greater, the one we are all born from. From this place we know we are all one.
‘When we connect to our own inner heart we become part of something much greater, the one we are all born from. From this place we know we are all one.’ – Beautifully said Melinda.
Thanks for reminding us how debilitating comparison can be, as it only serves to hold us back from living and expressing in our fullness.
This blog written whith such honesty revealed to me some hidden beliefpatterns I am still holding on to. And I was asking myself why I do still hold onto those beliefs, if in truth in my head I know they are untrue. I came to realize that it needs another form of action, another level of intimacy, another form of moving my body in order to let go completly of those harming energies. Thank you Leigh.
Leigh in the same way that you discovered that you had homophobic feelings I discovered that I had feelings that had their roots in racism. Previously I would have denied to the death that I had an ounce of racism in my body and yet I could not deny that when I was talking to someone who didn’t speak good English (especially if they were in customer service) I would feel an irritation at their percieved inadequacy and this would lead to feelings of the other person in some way being less. I now bring consciousness to these situations which helps to prevent me from automatically going into old patterns of behaviour.
As I read your experience Alexis, along with Leigh’s, it makes me realise just how pervasive and sneaky beliefs can be and how easy it is to go into comparison if we allow it. As I write this and reflect on my relationship with comparison one area immediately comes to mind for further attention – driving and how I often perceive myself as a better driver than others. So ladies I am very appreciative of your sharings on this for I know there is no other way than to truly love all equally for we are all one and the same.
Expressing love equally to all around us – the more love we express, the more love we have to express and the easier it becomes to express it to all equally as the love expressed becomes more and more powerful. A beautiful self-reinforcing cycle.
Yes This is true Christoph. The expression of love within us seems to expand more and more as we surrender. A beautiful cycle.
What you have shown us Leigh, is the damage that holding onto a belief can do. It colours every part of life and keeps us away from love. What a true evil comparison is. I know I have used it to protect myself, feeling better than or less than another gives me many excuses to not step up to the amazing, loving person I am. What a beautiful revelation this blog is. I so appreciate the grace that comes with this wisdom.
Your honesty and openness in sharing your experience is very inspiring Leigh. I definitely have experienced holding on to false beliefs and ideals that have stopped me from loving all equally, and this process continues, but now I am more open and accepting of looking because I realise that in clearly seeing/feeling and nominating the ideal or belief it becomes less, until it is gone altogether, allowing more space for the love which I am to expand in my body and to be expressed through my livingness.
Amazingly honest of you to express your old beliefs Leigh. We are all culprits of carrying and passing on beliefs that don’t serve us equally in many ways, whether of nationality, class, sexuality, age, gender. Our world is rife with untruths. But one at a time, as we each stand up, expose the truth of equality as you have, we spread love and replace beliefs with truth.
Thank you Leigh, for this honest blog and important highlight on beliefs and ideals. The whole world is built on it. – ‘I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person.’ This is what the majority of us are brought up to see as normal, a constant comparison and competition. A far cry from the Love and the equality that we all naturally are.
So very gorgeous Leigh – ‘living with love for all equally’. It is quite shocking when we realize how we are using another human being to measure ourselves.
We are all learning life’s lessons and we are all here to support each other to have the process be as simple and joyful as possible. A great way to really initiate this process is take our own full responsibility for not comparing or judging for our own protection or self gain. Thanks for the loving reminder.
When I was growing up the worst thing was to be gay, it was the biggest insult you could give or receive, it was ok to be a criminal, but to love someone of the same sex was the worst.
How insidious is this imposition that treats someone who is gay to be lesser, or un-natural, how could we be fooled, how could we allow and enjoin stigmatizing a fellow person. Could it be that we are more than a little Jealous of someone that is deeply connected to their feelings, and is courageous enough to live true to their feelings despite the backlash from others in the community. We cannot truly love anyone if we harbor thoughts that another human is separate or lesser than us. Leigh I can feel from this blog that you have seen the falsity of a belief that you are now completely free of, and you have expanded your love for humanity greatly.
The topic of equality is one that keeps coming up for me. Where do I feel less or more than – , instead of being equal to others. The hurt or illusion of not being enough plays these tricks with us and keeps us from true equality and brotherhood. It also lets us make it all about ourselves instead of about all of us.
Thank you Leigh as the sentiments of your blog are very poignant. Regardless of another’s height, weight, skin colour, hair colour, eye colour, gender, race, nationality no matter how we appear different on the surface, in essence we are all one and the same, as we all come from the same Source. A fact that we as a human race would do well to remember, as it would take all of the competitiveness and judgement out of our interactions and the focus on difference and instead we would value the unique qualities of another and focus on what unifies us.
Indeed Shevon, and to add to that, when we know that we are all the same in our essence, we can thoroughly enjoy and celebrate the differences that we each bring.
We are riddled with ideals and beliefs, they are so insidious. Take for instance the belief that we love and treat our own children more/differently then other children. I am now shocked that for most of my adult life I lived this belief. I now see it for what it is..a none truth and treat all children as if they were my own to the best of my ability, as I feel it still owns me a little.
I also had this belief Mary-Louise, ‘Take for instance the belief that we love and treat our own children more/differently then other children.’ It has only been recently that I have started treating all children with the equal love that I do for my son, it now feels like the most natural way to be, I can feel there is often such a separateness and protection within families and that it is common to ‘look after ones own family’ as if they are more important than everybody else.
Such a big topic Mary-Louise that keeps us in separation from ‘other’ children. I just said the other day that how I am with other children is more loving and understanding than I can be with my own children. So this separation of being the same with all children regardless of who they are goes both ways. Its all still running on ideals and beliefs that this is how I am with my own children, (because I’m a parent)!, compared to how I am with other children. This is something that I see runs rampant in families, like the saying ‘blood is thicker than water’, even if it is volatile and separate that it can still be ‘rah rahed’ into being ‘good’ or get a false sense of strength from that.
Thank you Mary-Louise for calling this out and I can also feel that this belief ‘still owns me a little’ but in recognising this I allow for the possibility of continuing to let go of this insidious belief and open up to treating all children as if they were my own and the beautiful expansion that can flow from this.
When we compare ourselves to each other, we are comparing things that really shouldn’t be compared as we are all unique in our journey, in our qualities and our expression. We are different but equal.
Beautiful Mary, I to know the feeling of space that you are talking about. It feels to me like I am being held in the utmost of love, which allows me the space to see what has been presented for what it is. No glossing over it and no trying to fix it or make it better. But acceptance which opens up for me the simple true choices that I can make that support me to bring a stop to whatever I have become aware of.
I have felt this too and the space is so supportive and holding of what there is to learn or confirm.
Unpick them with the absolute tenderness of your self Monica. I too have used the more intelligent belief to feel better than another. So know it well. In knowing it so well I am beginning to feel, as you say how much it is championed in our world. But it doesn’t not come close to feeling as simple, still and wholesome as my love and tenderness feels. So is becoming easier to distinguish, and keep choosing my tenderness in the face of it.
We have so many beliefs that we take on from the adults around us when we are small and they get in the way of us feeling who people truly are as we judge them by what they do or what they look like. Learning to feel the essence in everyone we meet is a new experience for many of us, but it opens up the world in a way that allows true harmony.
So true Carmel – ‘Learning to feel the essence in everyone we meet is a new experience for many of us, but it opens up the world in a way that allows true harmony.’ It does feel truly harmonious when we connect to and appreciate the essence of another, as we are honoring the Love we are both from and the wisdom of this Love that we share.
The feelings that we have arise in response to any situation is always an opportunity for reflection on our own state of being. I have noticed this before in instances where the actions of others provoke a reaction in me. Often if I am wishing for someone to be more honest it is provoking a reaction due to my own dishonesty. Or if I feel irritated that someone is not being considerate it also give me pause to reflect on my own consideration of others. Or if I am please to see another fail (ouch) then it is a lack of self worth on my part. Many of these behaviours are quite deep rooted and it requires a great deal of humbleness and honesty to accept they are there, especially if they feel pretty horrible. Something of a work in progress I would say.
Excellent observations Stephen, I also feel that I am being reflected something when I am in situations like this, and pause and reflect on how I truly am.
This is so lovely Leigh. Thank You for being so open and honest and how beautiful your Expression of love feels.
I love what you have shared, Leigh. Beliefs are like wearing blinkers. I have lived my life through so many such blinkers that I have come to realise I have greatly limited the opportunities in my life. As I let go of the ideals and beliefs I held onto for so long, I keep getting surprised at how many, how subtle and how deep they are. With deep appreciation to the whole of the Benhayon family for helping me take my blinkers off.
“beliefs are like blinkers”, what a super analogy Jonathan because they/blinkers blind us from seeing 360 degrees, the fullness of life itself, ourselves and also everyone else in it.
I agree – there is a tension when you try and separate out who you will and won’t love, those who are deserving and those we can judge to not be – be it because of their gender, religion, sexuality, skin colour or otherwise. But it is like trying to stretch a elastic band that doesn’t need to be stretched, there is a constant tension asking us to simply let go of our preconceived ideas and beliefs and instead see everyone as equal and equally deserving of love.
That is precisely True Rebecca, because love is an essence that is inside us, and not letting someone in is in affect closing off our own love.
Mary I can totally relate to that – not having any idea that I have buried what ever the issue may be and as you say through the workshops, courses and presentations that I attend with Universal Medicine I have been assists and supports to allow what ever it is to come up. Every time I feel freer and as you say more spacious.
I too can feel the sense of homecoming, in “finally allowing what my body has always known” to come to the fore, rather than compartmentalising life with my mind’s ideals and beliefs about what is acceptable or not acceptable, in the version of life that I had concocted to suit me and allow me to avoid being responsible and truly open to another.
It’s beautiful when we get to the point of realising that the false ideals and beliefs we have held onto are not true. To come to a deeper love and acceptance for all, with equality is something to deeply appreciate. The more we are able to hold regard, self-care and honouring for ourselves, the more full we become and the easier it is to appreciate everyone else.
The relief and new way of living through becoming free of that belief is deeply palpable through reading your blog. It has come over to me while reading and inspires me to do the same, step forward out of wherever I set limits, I say to myself and I set to love! Thank you so much for this honest and inspirational sharing Leigh.
By no longer putting me higher or lower then the other I take my place in community, in brotherhood again. To come back to this abandoned place and to breathe back life into it, is a strong part of coming home again. It is wonderful.
Beautifully said, Sandra. I know the feeling too of returning to the abandoned place where I naturally stand as part of the community. How it could be any other way is incredible, but it feels like waking from a bad dream (of self) and my eyes are opening up again to what is truly going on in the world around me.
Yes agree Sandra Schneider, the equalness offered and felt in brotherhood is indeed our Home. When we are lost from this place, we feel disoriented, conflicted or tense ….and when we remember the way back re-tracing our steps once again, there is the greatest joy in coming back to Brotherhood and living from here.
‘By no longer putting me higher or lower then the other I take my place in community, in brotherhood again.’
A beautiful statement that shows just how little we are willing to be in our community and to bring our own specialised talents to that community, unless we are willing to again live holding our worth and also knowing the value of community and how much community creates the fabric of our world. There are big holes in this fabric wherever there is a person not willing to live their quality, values and worth.
Leigh you share beautifully how our up bringing and beliefs effect us, and not until we are able to identity and debase these beliefs they will continue to effect our daily lives. When we connect to our inner most and our true essence, we all know the truth within us, that we are all equal.
In my trade there is a saying that there are old electricians, and there are careless electricians but there are no old careless electricians. Would this also work for loving everyone equally? Are we not the product of how we live?
Exactly Steve -great analogy with your example here. If we all live equally in the love that we are and bring this to our every day life all of the time, then those type of sayings would fall by the wayside…
Thanks for Sharing Leigh. It certainly is horrible to feel that we have those thoughts, coming from the beliefs that we hold. What can be said though is that these beliefs and thoughts are not us, as you so beautifully described that we are all equal, and all from the same love so how can a belief like this be true? Society is filled with many beliefs which run the way each person lives, and controls how far they will let people in, or love out to other people. Having this measure of love wherever we go is keeping us separated and not to say we should all be hugging all day long, but there is potential for a more harmonious and loving way of being with one another.
Its so good to read a blog like this with someone expressing such honesty, as it did make me take a hard look at myself to see if I had any old underlining ideals and beliefs that hadn’t been exposed or delt with.
Thank you Leigh for opening up this discussion. I too have been discovering how crippling my ideals and beliefs are and how they simply stop me from loving. Everyday is an opportunity to unravel more ideals and beliefs, as they are very harming to ourselves and others.
Awesome blog Leigh. and a beautiful realisation to recognise to, as from now on, there is more of you expressing love than before. I have realised the moment we compare, it is the moment we are clocking our choices, and measuring our expression of love in relation another person’s choices. So we can either choose to be inspired to be, or compare and reject our own potential.
Leigh I read your blog twice in a row as I could feel the way that it has the power to dismantle the stranglehold that the belief system imposes on life. The false belief that we are either better or worse in some way to another is a huge false imposition that acts like a barrier to the love that we and everyone else is.
I can appreciate the honesty in your blog and comparison and competition would have to be the main cause of seperation between people. Recognising we are all equal and respecting each individuals expression and life choices is the basic foundation of brotherhood and unity.
I, too, am having these beliefs exposed in me regularly at the moment Leigh, where I have placed myself either better than or less than another. How evil that these beliefs have infiltrated who we know ourselves to be and affect all of our actions and relationships with others. (Read about the esoteric understanding of the word evil at Unimedpaedia:http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-evil.html.) Each time I expose them, I celebrate the fact that I have released another layer that is not at all me and I can get on with appreciating and being with myself and others without that constant need to prove.
Leigh what you are sharing about long held beliefs that are so distructive to relationships and ourselves is simply wrong. As you have said you knew all along that this was not true that someone in a same sex relationship is less than you. Even when you realised it and understand what is being said it is so ridiculous. How could they possibly be less. They have been made the same, their Soul and Blood is all of the same making – so it makes no sense what so ever. But the dark twisted side to this is how we can enjoy having this belief because it puts us higher and artificially makes one feel better. I know I have had this in my life and when I stop and feel this it hurts big time a) because the harm we are imposing on the other and b) the illusion that we go into and the arrogance which keeps us far away from the Divine Love that we are. Now that hurts and it is our choice if we keep ourselves in this belief or should I say dis-belief!
The honesty and openness shared here Leigh brings the truth of what comparison and held beliefs can do and how destructive it can be for all. When we appreciate ourselves and confirm who we are this opens us up to all and love floods and expands us. Love is far greater than comparison and is equal in all. Thank you Leigh for sharing with such love.
Beautiful Kelly. “Love is far greater than comparison and is equal in all.”
Yes it is a beautiful expression Annie – one that, if everyone would live that expression, could heal so many ill beliefs held about our selves in ‘comparison’ to others.
This “belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am,” underlies so much of our created prejudices. Thank you for honestly sharing and opening this up for further exploration. I certainly feel that I could look into this much deeper for myself.
I would say this might go for most of us, certainly for myself too – “This belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am,” – I am finding that the more I connect to my self, and the more I step into a loving and nurturing way of living, the less is the drive to have to prove anything to anyone, least of all my self. It is a very liberating process and one I can now feel in many instances and situations.
Exactly Karina, the more we accept that we are enough and start to really appreciate ourselves for who and what we are, the less becomes the need to proof anything to anyone. Instead of the deep insecurity and emptiness, we then shine with all that we are and do hold back less and less in that.
Yes Michael once we break down and discard the deep insecurities we are then left with the love that we are … which in turn we reflect to another. This acceptance breaks down our judgement which leaves us with an open heart to accept our brothers in equalness.
I am sure we could all look deeper into this for ourselves Elaine – ideals and beliefs can be very subtle, and having carried them around for a lifetime, they are easily seen as ‘normal’ or there is a feeling of indifference about it because it’s ‘just how it is’.
Lovely said, Eva, I got tricked by the “picture” that women are less when they have not given birth to a child. A belief that I had taken on from wherever. Getting to know me better and learning to trust my heart again unfolds the untruth of this picture.
Wowza Leigh, you’ve opened a can of worms with this very exposing blog – I thank you for your courage and direct honesty in expressing what does not belong in your foundations now. We can all relate to this comparison I’m sure, yet there are many avenues we can choose to go down to give the same effect of being more or less than another. With this belief coming to the fore it really confirms how you value equality and your own self worth.
That’s a great point Rachael, when we start to value our worth and hold ourselves as equal it becomes easier to see the beliefs that we have held to hold us less.
Love your honesty Leigh, I imagine many people across the globe hold such beliefs, some are very aware and some not so aware like you have shared. It is awesome what you came to understand and I love how you accept yourself and appreciate your willingness to look beneath and see the ugly, all the while knowing it is not you.
I agree Vanessa, a lot of beliefs we can be aware of, but some are running our life and we call them normal but they are in fact a form of belief we have taken on, something which does not belong to our essence.
Yes Harrison White, coming to the understanding that those thoughts are actually not our own, is huge in terms of quickly calling out the offending thought and coming back to that constant, solid foundation of deep sacredness within.
Your honesty is very inspiring Leigh. I too have played (and still occasionally play) the greater than/lesser than game, and it now feels awful. In the past it appeared to make me feel better – on the surface anyway, or put myself down which felt horrible…a constant roller coaster ride based on whatever was happening externally, and exhausting – so different to holding the love we are where-ever we are, where there is a natural ease and flow, and it is a joy to be in life!
“There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.” The tension created by these ideals and beliefs becomes ‘normal’ over time, and it’s not until we let go of these ideals and beliefs that our body can return to its naturally harmonious way of being… and it is amazing how quickly and easily our bodies return to this.
It takes a great honesty to reveal to ourselves aspects of how we have lived, or thoughts we have taken on as our own that are not true, and therefore unpleasant to face. The love with which you express from Leigh is gorgeous to feel and inspires a deepening of honesty within me too.
Well said Giselle. Before we can address issues or beliefs, they need to be nominated. A lot of people carry ideals and beliefs but are unwilling to be honest about them and thus cannot look deeper as to why they are there.
This comment gave me a moment to truly consider how true this is, so many people do not even know how harmful their beliefs are to their bodies, let alone the harm that they cause to others. Pondering on this makes me realise how deeply hurt we are as human beings that we choose behaviours that cause such harm, and how much the world needs to see a different way of living. How much truth and honesty is needed in how we are feeling. So the old behaviors can be examined and if not truly loving and supportive, to make the changes needed to lessen their hold over us and eventually completely let than go.
Gives responsibility a whole new appeal! For years I held the belief responsibility was where I came undone, to understand my not taking responsibility was but a choice I was continually making began the process of unraveling the reasons for it. Our resistance to feeling the pain we’ve buried may be one such held belief we do not want to let go of, yet with the slightest release, the space that emerges allows for more.
Leigh thank you for your honest sharing ‘What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ It is great you name it ‘a learned way of living’ and that believing we are better or less is never a true way of living. The tension you mention distracts us so much we cannot even feel that love is equal and love is in us all, nothing to proof,because love just is.
Thank you Leigh for your honesty and sharing. What your blog highlights is that there are so many ideals and belief systems that we hold that keep us in separation and from experiencing feeling the true joy of the all.
Well said Donna – for me judgement is a marker of this separation. When my thoughts change and start to compare or judge myself or another I know I am out of my heart and allowing what is not true run the show. This feels like a wall comes up between myself and another which devastates the Joy on offer by way of a true and equal reflection.
Excellent Rachael, there fore true thoughts come from the heart. Walls of protection, and separation between people, well no true thoughts can come from that.
Thank you Leigh. This shows so clearly how easily and how many beliefs we take on when we grow up and then make them our way of thinking, looking at things, being with people. All those beliefs consciously and mostly subconsciously dictate and rule our life. What a blessing that when we are willing to unravel all these beliefs they present themselves to us and we can let go of them.
Absolutely Esther, we are ruled by beliefs and choose not to be aware of it. We make it our normal and hold on to it as it lets us sit in the comfort. The comfort we belief to be comfortable, instead of choosing to see and know how we are holding ourselves back from evolution.
Feeling lesser than another is a game I play so as to stay in my comfort and avoid taking responsibility for the work that I am needing to do…ouch.
Spot on Mary-Louise! The biggest trigger in revealing belief-systems and prejudices is the fact that we have to admit we have taken them on. That we do have a responsibility for all our actions, thoughts, expressions and beliefs. Time to get off the couch.
Wow Leigh this blog would make good reading in schools and in fact there could be a whole subject area on it. What you have exposed here is that it is our hurts that make us see others lesser then us, we understand this we can start to heal the separation that currently exists around the world.
It is a wonderful personal revelation when an old ideal that has shaped the way we live is exposed for the un-truth that it is. Ideals and beliefs hold us back in life, block us from living from the true qualities that are innately within us all – and equality is a natural understanding when we embrace love for ourselves and for humanity.
That is the key Jo, the more I am reading the comments and commenting is that we have to allow ourselves this love, this understanding true love and embrace it for ourselves in full first and then of course it is something that flows from us equally for all.
“Yet the belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am, has been my trigger to having the thoughts that same sex couples are less than I am.” It is so interesting to see that through our hurts and feeling not worthy, we can take on any ideal or belief without truly feeling if it is true for us. This really shows that people who hold these beliefs are not bad people, just hurt and from there casting out hurt to others as well. This is a huge thing to see, thank you for opening up the discusion about this Leigh.
Agree Lieke, the more we judge others the more we are holding on to our own hurts. We are governed by ideals and beliefs that replace feeling who we truly are. The normalization of those beliefs prevents us from identifying them as such as our foundation comes from abuse and believing to be a lesser version of who we truly are. This shows how important it is to heal our hurts and live from our essence always in connection to truth.
No matter where we go on Earth, it is rarely seen that people are together in equality. Whenever equality is felt between humans, there is a deep sense of joy. This has become my marker and it is constantly renewed, specially when I visit Universal Medicine events!
Equality between us all across the board, within families, between friends, at the workplace, is barely nonexistent. The only place I have ever felt this truly and consistently alive is between the Benhayon family. They have inspired many by their livingness, and continue to do so each and every day.
I love that Felix, and this should be everyones marker! Why is it we settle for less than joy with one another? We have allowed our hurts to cloud our minds, judgement and expression, but contracting away from our own love is the most painful.
We have been encouraged throughout life to have opinions, to reach a conclusion. Perhaps it’s time to just allow people to just be without judgement and know we are all equally making choices and honouring each other’s unique choice.
This is so true Felix Schumacher, there is a deep sense of joy when we all hold each other equally and in love, after all, we are all made of it, so it makes sense to just let it be.
As is my knowing and understanding too Felix. We can say that we feel equal to all and believe that we do, that is not until we feel the absolute warmth and open acceptance bubbling up from within ourselves when we are literally standing in the equalises, no thought or belief present, instead the complete surrender to ourselves, with no holding back or any reservation do we know what equality actually feels like. I now know that it is only when we fully claim the beauty, power and presence that we are, completely embodied, that equality can be felt with another.
Beliefs are an extremely toxic and profound form of harm. We can walk around without a trace of a bullet wound or scar but inside ourselves we are holding this guard and discrimination, all the time thinking we are free. Same-sex couples show us every day that Love has nothing to do with gender, age or sexual preference but everything to do with a quality of tenderness, divinity and equality. To feel how this flows in your honest words is truly inspiring Leigh.
Yes Joseph, this blog and the comments are an important expose on just how toxic beliefs are, creating separation and making us ‘different’ rather than connecting to the universality of the love and tenderness we all have within us.
Leigh this is a super powerful post as it reveals how insidious comparison is and how such held beliefs keep us from truly connecting with love for all. Whether it is another’s sexuality, world-view or way of living, choosing to judge it in anyway keeps love from being a part of any of our life. Love does not discriminate, so how can we be loving if we choose to? I love the honesty of your post as it shows how easily we can move from who we naturally are (love) to accepting that which is not love, but that with this realisation we always have the choice to be open to coming back to the truth.
I just connected with how much I judge other peoples way of living, and felt the gigantic gap it creates between me and another – horrible. Like you share Jade, love does not discriminate, it just flows forth in abundance, consistently flowing out. Time to turn that tap on.
Indeed vanessamchardy there are so many layers to how I judge others way of living, what they eat, what jobs they do or don’t have, their emotionality or drama. The list goes on and on and all it creates is a separation from seeing and appreciating the divine essence in us all.
I have experienced holding on to false beliefs and ideals that have got in the way of loving all equally too Leigh. What you have shared is a great one to expose. I loved hearing how you have accepted the equality of all through this understanding. Thank you for your sharing.
This is rarely talked of Leigh and yet is a topic that needs to be discussed in the truth and openness you do so here. In truth, it does not matter what the relationship is, be it man to man, woman to woman, man to woman, the bottomline is the fact of whether there is true love their in the relationship or not. Love is not bound by anything of this world and is there to be shared with us all. It is amazing how many subtle beliefs we hold that cap us from allowing this simple truth to be our lived reality.
Thanks for your blog Leigh. A great example the impact that taking on the beliefs of others can have on our own lives. Eventhough in your body you could feel these beliefs were not true, by taking them on they “…created a constant tension to prove myself…”
‘I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so…’ because we know deep down that we are from and returning to brotherhood. Beautiful blog Leigh.
This is a very special moment to feel and be with Leigh. Feeling the love within yourself and the love in others no matter who they are, what they do or even how much you know them is very establishing and confirming.
I know that one very well, thinking that I am better or less than somebody else. It’s a game I have played for most of my life and I can still fall for it. It is enlaced with arrogance and a lack of self-worth. The moment I make the choice to play this game, I have lost my connection to myself, to life, to humanity, to God and to love.
Absolutely Mariette, it joins my old favourite pattern of right and wrong. Instant separation from connection and God. Why I still chose this is a source of frustration that I am learning to be more loving and understanding about.
Mariette and Vanessa seeing the beliefs that you have nominated ‘better than and less than’ and the equally ancient ‘right and wrong’ really makes them stand out as metallic structures that are super imposed on life by the good old friend to no one, the human mind.
Well put Alexis – ‘the good old friend to no one, the human mind.’
The moment we dishonour what we truly feel, we disconnect from our body and are instantly entrapped and seduced by the mind.
I have played into this too Leigh that is endorsing beliefs that hold some higher or lower than others. A common trap has been when I set my sights on doing or becoming something more than what I am, whether it be developing professionally or personally – I have found myself in positions time and time again that I perceive to be better off, but this better always holds another lesser. I see this as a cycle of how we can abuse our power, a cycle that constantly repeats, until we begin to become more aware of the fact that power is developed through equality.
Love this Abby ‘…to become more aware of the fact that power is developed through equality.’ This has created quite a stop for me this morning – power isn’t something I have connected to equality but I could really feel the truth of this, thank you.
Beautiful addition Abby, I can relate totally to the whole lesser and greater than game. Wanting to be more than you perceive you are, crazy when God looks at us all as equal divine beings just for breathing!
Yes so true Vanessa – how ridiculous is all of this in the face of : “… God looks at us all as equal divine beings just for breathing!”
Awesome Abby – “…power is developed through equality.” So true as ‘self’ becomes ‘all of us and everyone’ – and in that, true power can emerge.
A powerful and very true point you make here: “Power is developed through equality.” True power can only come from harmony and equality and acting for the all, never for self. What we call today power is more related to force and domination, imposing your beliefs and interests over another and subordinating what is believed to be less. True power is unity and leading towards unity it can never be separation due to personal or group interests that do not hold the all.
True power is surrendering to our tenderness and sensitivity and being the love we are.
‘True power is surrendering to our tenderness and sensitivity and being the love we are.’ This bought me to tears Rachel.
We can fight back and think we are being powerful and standing up for a good cause, but when we do this we fool ourselves as it builds protection in our body – creating further impediments to heal.
Yes Abby, and to hold oneself better also paves the way to feel lesser than someone too – I have found myself on the end of both of these sticks. It’s all a game to distract us from being all that we are, and it brings pain to all concern, not the least to ourselves.
Abby the power most certainly is in equality and the sooner we all start to embrace this truth the more harmonious this world will be. It is staggering the devastation that continues to build and destroy this world and it all comes back to the separation that we keep choosing to be in. Connecting to ourselves first and then with each other from the Love that we are is the starting point to uniting as one.
oh Leigh, the game of better than, less than plays out in so many ways. Finding ways to feel better than or even finding ways to make ourselves less than is such a trap. Before we even being the relationship we are not presenting as equal.
So true Joel,
In so many ways. It has been and continues to be fostered and championed in our world, making it a very real present energy that we can choose to live by. It is only when we feel the falseness of it that we begin to choose differently. A choice that I am finding I have to make every single day.
Joel, this is a poignant point – how often do we enter relationships, it being partner, friend or business, already full of ideals and beliefs about the other part.. and judging ourselves lesser or better than.
Absolutely Joel, the true humbleness of equal, is so great. In it, we can only see the grandness in ourselves and others.
Leigh thank you for sharing your realisation with us. Its not pleasant when we realise we have held incorrect beliefs about another or even a group of people, but its great you were open enough to question yourself on your beliefs. Comparison drains our energy, takes up so much of our time and as you say causes much tension. It takes us away from appreciating who we are and the gifts that we bring. If we accept and love ourselves, the more we extend that out to others and realise we are all the same. I know now when I judge others, its because I still judge myself and so its an opportunity to look within and see what I need to heal.
Wow this is a very important topic to write about and break down, as I read this I could feel that growing up in a Catholic church while I don’t ever remember anything specifically being said but it was more in the tone it was said and just in what was implied. I once remember hearing an adult talk about a boy I went to school with to another adult and they said “Oh did you hear he is gay now?”. I was just a kid but I could remember through the way it was said it was implied that there was something wrong with this. I am not sure where this idea of it being ‘wrong’ came from but I know it is heavily passed down through the church still.
Yes, institutionalized religion is all about right and wrong, but today’s society has adapted those beliefs and most people belief they are not religious, but they are following the same rhythm of living in right and wrong. Religion is the way we live in connection with ourselves and God, or the negation of it and it doesn’t matter in what belief system it comes it is always living in the right and wrong of the what is not, instead of embracing the what is and living from the equalness we all are. Then there is no judgment and comparison, because it is lived in its embodied truth.
Dogmatic authoritarian institutions that sell “religion” rely heavily on fostering separation – from ourselves, each other and from love. That tone of judgement you write about Kristy is one of the many weapons, along with right and wrong, guilt, shame and others, wielded by such organisations to foster uncertainty, comparison and judgement in its ‘flock’.
No wonder after so many lifetimes of religious autocracy we discover traces of them buried within …
We are so very refined in our awareness that something as subtle as a tone of voice or facial expression registers on us very profoundly. How clever and sneaky is that!? There is no overt disgust, no obviously negative words, nevertheless the negative connotation is delivered in such a way that we develop a judgement. It is really very insidious.
How many of these judgements do we carry around with us that we don’t even know are running our thoughts and perceptions? It takes something extraordinary to bring them to the light, not least a commitment to honesty as Leigh has shown in her blog. This is not always easy for what we see inside of us is sometimes not lovely, and not loving, and hard to face when you consider yourself to be an “open book”.
“I know deeply that it is not who I truly am and that it is simply a belief that I have taken on from others. A belief that I can now completely let go of in how I live from this moment forward” – this sentence really stood out for me. This is beautiful. I love how so clearly and lovingly you express here.
Me too Fumiyo – it is so clearly expressed and the loving truth of it I can also feel – so awesome.
I agree Leigh. It is very confronting when we suddenly become aware of a pattern of thoughts that we have held on – whether it is judgment of somebody or really any idea how things *Should* be that turns out not to be true when we look deeply enough. Dealing with the guilt and embarrassment requires a lot of love for ourselves and others.
Christoph this is a really important point you are bringing as it sure does feel uncomfortable and awkward when exposing these patterns and beliefs so much so sometimes you don’t want to look at it at all and deny in arrogance what it is playing out. Eventually when you are ready to look bringing a whole lot of Love and understand for ourselves is exactly what we need.
Thank you Leigh for being so honest and shining a light on the thoughts we can harbour about same sex relationships. I can say that I have had ideals and beliefs going down the lines of ‘there must be something wrong with them’ or ‘they are broken in some way’, but all this does is make me feel better at the expense of someone else, and lets face it any judgements against another causes a separation. So, I am all up for exposing these hidden beliefs, especially as they are so far from the truth.
It is so interesting how our beliefs allow us to judge others as less than us just in order to bolster ourselves up to feel better about ourselves. Indeed it can only cause a separation and reinforce our own identification with who we think we are.
Gorgeous Leigh. ‘There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so’ – this is beautifully put, and it really does feel like an ‘allowing’ when we open up to others because when we hold them as less, feel frustrated, angry, upset, impatient or spiteful towards others we create a MASSIVE tension in our own bodies. We are designed to love all others equally, because they are made from the exact same stuff we are.
Great point Susie, “we are designed to love all others equally, because they are made from the exact same stuff as we are”. It is insidious how we are looking for separating aspects, such as gender, age, sexual orientation, origen, nationality, capabilities, assets, etc. to build us an identity that suits the need to feel being more than another, when in truth we are all the same and like in a theatre play we are just changing roles and outfits each time we come back to earth and enter the cycle of life again. The absurdity of culture, nationality, sexual orientation, institutionalized religion, gender, etc. would be truly exposed when we would embrace the true cycle of life and reincarnation.
Yes Susie what Leigh has written is spot on. It makes no sense what so ever to put someone above us or below us but the insane thing is most of us have been brought up to look out to compare so the way we can go with this is creating a lesser or higher way of communicating with people. I know when I have done this and that’s most of my life and I still see it creep in occasionally it makes me feel a lot less powerful than who I am naturally when I am All that I am. To know and live this abundance of this is more than I will ever need.
I so agree Susie, what you have said here is so true. When we hold others as less, which is such a great point around the emotions that can come up – feeling frustrated, angry, upset, impatient – these can come up many times throughout the day. But we can just rationalise them out of the way, but if we actually look at it that we are holding others as less when we get like this, it can change the whole tone it. Plus as you are saying the tension that this creates in our body is huge. It is about bringing understanding, but also learning to bring that understanding to oneself. I am finding the more understanding I can bring myself, the ‘allowing’ and accepting of others is far greater.
Leigh thank you for sharing, as I read through your post I could feel different areas where I may compare how I am to people, what they are or are not doing etc.. All of this time cutting out the truth. What I also find is that whilst over the years I know in my head that everyone is the same, that love is not about gender but a quality that is naturally there if we allow it – between everyone – there are many instances when I will still hold the love between certain people as more than others. In your examples its clear that if I compare one picture to another then I miss the true essence that is there to be felt, when i stop and feel that – then gender plays no part in the quality of love that can be shared and expressed.
Dear David,
For me too, identifying my personal differences in how I feel about people is on going. Choosing each day to be connected to my essence and body as much as I can is the greatest support in the process, for it is deeply felt now when I hold back my love.
I agree Leigh, it is not a nice feeling in the body to hold back the natural connection to ourselves and others equally. I can feel your commitment in this, which is gorgeus.
Wow Leigh, I love this article, I can feel how I have so often held myself as less than another and how this then stops a loving connection with that person, this is changing now as I have more confidence and appreciation in myself, when I meet another equally this feels so much more lovely and true.
What an awesome honesty and awareness you have Leigh. When you write “What this experience has brought forward for me to consider is how any comparison to others is so very debilitating. And that for this to enter, in a brief moment I in some way allowed myself to be less than or better than the other person, whether they be man or woman doesn’t matter.” I know this is huge, and am going to take this with me today and ponder on it deeply.
Deep rooted beliefs are indeed destructive and when the awareness of them is felt in the body we actually get a shock because we know that they are not ours, they never were but somewhere along the way we lost ourselves a little bit and the belief served to make us feel something that we thought we needed. It’s really inspiring to read how your appreciation of the innate love that you are has brought these destructive belief into a complete healing in your heart. Thank you Leigh for your sharing.
Where do these beliefs come from that are not ours? And how many of them do we have that we are not conscious about? What I loved here is when you felt the belief you didn’t just dismiss it but looked at it; and you didn’t ‘beat yourself up’ over having it but instead after feeling it, chose to let it go and then appreciate and deepen your love for yourself even more.
yes beautifully put Vicky – that is what will make the difference :”…choose to let it go and then appreciate and deepen your love for yourself even more.”
Yes Vicky choosing to look at our past beliefs and hurts and letting them go as they no longer hold us in love is an awesome way to be. It is so beautifully highlighted by Leigh in this blog. The level of love we hold is huge and when we let go of our past hurts and beliefs, that’s where the magic is unleashed.
It is so important to bring awareness to our beliefs without the judgement, how otherwise can we let go of having to defend and act on our beliefs as if we are so right.
Leigh it is so incredibly honest of you to admit that this is a belief that you have held. We all know deep down that everyone is equal, so it is very sad that we take on beliefs and ideals that separate us from this knowing and instead opt for ways of being that help us to feel better about ourselves. By sharing this you will be helping others to uncover any beliefs that still exist even in the smallest way that stop us all from connecting as equal human beings.
Dear Rebecca,
“Opting for ways of being that help us to feel better about ourselves.” The very fact that this reality is present is testament that the way we have lived is a long way from our truth. Why do we need to feel better about ourselves when we are so amazingly beautiful within?
Great question Leigh-“Why do we need to feel better about ourselves when we are so amazingly beautiful within?” Why indeed, what has come in to make us belief that we are anything but this gorgeous loving being within? Time to kick that out and reconnect and live who we truly are, in all that we are and bring.
A great question, Leigh. Wanting to be better means not feeling enough. This sets us off to a constant pursuit where comparison and jealousy play an integral part.
“This experience exposed in me a long held belief that same sex couples are less”. Thank you Leigh for writing about this subject! This is a very strong belief in our society that which i am also not completly free of. But time to let go of it fully.
One of my dearest friend is gay and the way he is living with his partner is a deep inspiration to commit and be love.
Absolutely Janina – holding homosexual couples as less/’inferior’ to straight couples is a very widespread belief, but not talked about very often at all! I notice in school how there is still a lot of homophobic bullying, as well as racist bullying but both of these topics are seen as ‘not that big of a deal’ by teachers… Interesting how easily things get swept under the rug when they aren’t talked about.
So true Susie, when we dont talk about the prejudice in the moment we give our allowance or silence agreement that it is okay to talk or put another down for their differences.
Wow, Susie – thanks for the reality check as it shows me we have a long way to go when being gay is still being used as a school yard taunt in England as it speaks for the generations of adults to come. Add to this the many countries (at least 80) in the world where homosexuality is illegal and then many more where it is not illegal but culturally shunned. Leigh your blog is a great example of how unnatural it is to hold homosexual couple as less when the belief is seen as one that has been given to us and not from our hearts.
Is it possible that the bullying you describe Susie is ranked – that is this school yard talk is not really harming so it gets pushed down the line. This does not excuse it but more highlights the fact that even instances of abuse are judged and compared with perceived greater levels of abuse and thus dismissed. The two fold effect is that then there is a lack of true guidance for those displaying the behaviour and a doubly sad confirmation that it is okay by the adult world to play at this level. The long term effects for all are seen in society today.
It is sad Susie that there “is still a lot of homophobic bullying, as well as racist bullying” in school and it is even sadder that “these topics are seen as ‘not that big of a deal’ by teachers.” Some teachers are really not good role models as is our society. It is really time that we all get started to talk more about these topics as it is so much easier to sweep them under the rug. Therefore I love it that Leigh was writing about this topic, she brought it back to the surface.
The quality of a relationship is not measurable by gender, race, age, culture, religion, nationality or anything outside of the one which truly matters – and this is and always was the love our hearts emanate and receive.
Beautifully said, Sonja!
Leigh, it is brilliant that you had the realisation that the energy of comparison is not truly coming from you in your essence. That way you can say no to the energy and begin to make changes. We know in our hearts that we are all equal and the same in love, and it is only our minds, filled with ideals and beliefs that like to take us away from the love that we are, but once we truly begin to appreciate and love ourselves then we naturally love all others equally, and recognising the signs that take us away from ourselves is awesome, a great marker to work from.
We have such an investment into being individual, stand out and want to be seen for our creations but as you say Sandra it needs ideals and believes to form this illusion, because in truth we are all equal and cannot change the fact, we can only ignore it.
Great honest post Leigh, the comparisons and assumptions we have or make up or have ideas and beliefs about all types of people are just kicked way out of the park when we connect to the fact that we are all just the same. Being brought up in the religion and time and place I was from even the word homosexual was a bad word. Looking back its hard to believe some people thought the way they did and still do.
It’s true Kevin, when we have a deep understanding of the true equality of our fellow man, it is hard to understand how people are so deeply entrenched in their belief systems that they are unable to entertain even for a moment that there is a deeper level of understanding available that frees them from the tight restraints that they live their lives within.
Very beautifully expressed Kevin. We are indeed all the same, I wonder why we live in a world that is determined to classify and separate us? One could only wonder that their are forces at play that like to feed the separation as true power comes from when we all unite, I guess that is where the saying comes from “power to the masses”.
It’s hard to believe that there was so much separation and abuse around people being gay when we know as you say “all the same”. It’s great that there is a lot more awareness around this now although there is a long way to go.
Yes Chris, we do have a long way to go when it comes to truely accepting all in our world, not just those who are gay.
Its a powerful statement to say that we treat each other equally, and love each other equally. I know for me I have hidden pockets where I judge people as both less and more…. whether that be a matter of their perceived intelligence, sexual proclivity, social status or aptitude, their success (in life, in business, in sport). Its good to have an opportunity to reflect on these Leigh, and remind us all that deep in the centre we all have the same divinity, the same soul and in that there is a true equalness.
I can say the same Simon, Leigh’s blog has had me look more deeply into my own pockets and is also a beautiful reminder of who we are in truth.
Sometimes it is easy to say that we love and treat everyone equally but it may not always come from our inner hearts. Sometimes ideals and beliefs can be so ingrained that we don’t realise that there are still splinters of them still embedded deep down. Leigh, I love your honesty here -it is so refreshing and to feel that you have come to a place of truth and can feel the equalness of all humanity is pretty awesome.
And sometimes there can be such a fight to hold onto the ideals and beliefs we know hold ourselves less or more than others. Addressing an investment I have had in an ideal feels akin to detangling myself from a spiders web.
I love this Abby, it made me smile, even though it is not a laughing matter. For it is the unsolicited thoughts that entangle us, not our unwavering love and inate beauty that is with in. This instead presents the truth simply. We however find the truth difficult to accept at times.
Beautiful Abby and Leigh. We can complicate life so much at times that then accepting simple truths seems impossible. Living a simple loving life is what I am working at.
Well said Abby, the spider web of ideals and beliefs, is well worth detangling from, no matter how long it takes.
Great analogy – this spiderweb, how sticky it can be and how yucky it feels, and we do all we can to not have it on our body. Same with ideals and beliefs, how sticky they can be and how yucky they feel when truly felt, and then we also do all we can to get them out of our body too.
I know this fighting very well and lately I detected That I carry a false image of myself and constantly am fighting against this inner image. This revelation empowers me to let go of this step by step. And what you have shared Abby, it is like ‘ detangling myself from a spiders web’.
Me too Sally Scott.
Sometimes a judgement comes up and I think, gosh where does this come from? There is bit of shame and guilt with this, but if I remember that this ‘hidden pocket’ is not of me, but something which I allowed to infiltrate my thoughts, than I can allow to observe what is happening, where it comes from, say no to it and let it go.
This is really beautiful Leigh and it is giving me an opportunity to stop and to honestly examine any old beliefs that I am still holding onto; beliefs that were taken on so long ago that they have become part of me. But as you say: “How far away from my true self have I been living to not feel the hurt that comes with holding onto such beliefs?”. It seems that, not only have we lived beliefs that are the polar opposite to what is true for us, we have also hurt our bodies in the process by the burying and the denying of the harm we are doing to ourselves. As you discovered, how freeing and healing it is when we are able to acknowledge this and then release these beliefs.
We do take on beliefs that suit us at the time. I have found they match a need or hurt that we have not dealt with and stored away in the body. Beliefs are almost impossible to see as they become so embedded in our makeup, we start to see them as part of us. Luckily we have our ‘super lie detector’ bodies to let us know when something is a belief. We can feel when it goes against all the natural and loving laws our body responds to.
It sounds almost impossible but in all my experience it is true – my body is smarter than my mind. It is less insistent but when I carefully listen to both I notice who is true.
Beautifully said Christoph
Absolutely Christoph, I agree – although less insistent the body is also constantly communicating to us. We can choose to listen to it through what we feel instead of think at any time.
Love this Christoph and all it takes is that dedication in the moment to feel the truth.
Well said Fiona, the body is a ‘super lie detector’ and the more I allow myself to deeply to connect to it the more I realise what a great feedback system it provides. I have spent much time safely ‘in my
head’ in the past but now I know that it is my hidey hole, a way of avoiding that which I do not want to feel or look at.
Yes, Fiona, how amazing is the body – Far Greater than any scientific invention on earth could ever be
“Luckily we have our ‘super lie detector’ bodies to let us know when something is a belief.
I love what you have shared here Fiona. These ideals and beliefs could never be thought away. Thankfully our bodies are here to clearly show us that we have been holding onto things which aren’t ours to hold onto.
Beautifully expressed Leigh. Comparison is so insidious, I have found it to be an almost constant presence lingering in the shadows of my awareness, stemming from a lack of true appreciation of myself and the love that I am within. There is very little in this world that teaches us to find our identity from within, but rather to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us. I am finding these patterns are gradually shifting as I live in a more self loving way, and like you the inspiration to live this way has come from the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
‘lingering in the shadows’ – what a great line Tim. These ideals and beliefs do linger in the shadows and it is not until we shine a light into them and go – OK whose there and what are you doing in my life – are you true – do you truly support etc… – that we can expose what’s there and learn to let it go if it no longer serves nor is true. It is a courageous act to be so honest as Leigh has done so beautifully here. My heartfelt congratulations to you Leigh – thank you.
Yes well said Sarah and Tim, and I love the analogy ‘lingering in the shadows’ – something hidden and showing its ugly little face in the form of comparison and ill beliefs, laced with judgment. Shine a bright light into those shadowy corners, and then see it cringe – and leave when we shine with the full love that we truly are.
It’s only with constant awareness do we find these lingering thoughts and comparisons, that come out of the ‘shadows ‘ do we get to identify and honestly deal with these super evasive beliefs … They are the mistletoe in life … not part of the original.
ideals and beliefs = ‘…not part of the original.’ this is simple and powerful, thank you Merilee
Ah awesome – “not part of the original!” It just shows that true truth does not need massive explanations.
Hear, hear Sarah, Leigh’s honesty is truly beautiful and reveals the level at which she has opened herself to the awareness that the comparison and judgement are not who she is or we are. It is only by developing this openness that we get to feel the enormous depth and beauty that is there to unfold. So humbling..
Yes agreed, and in that revelation there can be no judgement or self condemnation as it was never who we were in the first place, just a consciousness we had, at some point chosen to align to.
The growth and expansion is the key to understanding that there is always a lesson in any changes, mishaps and understandings in life.
This is great what you have shared Tim that comparison is there in the first place because we have a true lack of appreciation for ourselves and the Love within. This is something I have tangibly felt in the last few days and that in deeply and truly appreciating ourselves and the absoluteness we hold within it acts as a switch, switching the comparison off (the energy where we are constantly looking outside of ourselves) and instead starts to turn up the flame within.
Because these thoughts and patterns do linger in the shadows of everyone, it is pure delight when we begin to turn the tide so to speak. To recognize that they are in shadow and to feel from deep within that they are not coming from our innate love that resides within all of us. Having had this realisation was a tide turning point for me, as many other subtle destructive thoughts and patterns of mine have been exposed since, and are continuing to be exposed every day. It truly is magnificent to accept and begin to implement the changes that are needed.
Thank you Tim, Leigh and Vicky, the biggest danger is when we live with arrogance or are complacent and believe prejudice to be another person’s ill, not our own. Being open to see what lingers in the shadows of our own minds can be confronting but honest. Accepting where we are, without beating ourselves up allows us to feel what is true, that we are all equally the sons of God.
I totally agree Leigh. There was nothing more miraculous for me when I really felt in my body that there was nothing wrong with me. This took 10 years of dedication to working on renouncing what was not me. It was a big one to shake as the configuration of this energy in my body felt like it was the easiest choice to make. Choose that I am hurt and withdraw, then sell my body to whatever thought that it has been taught to confirm the areas where I lacked any worth. A great game to play to be irresponsible. I am over the moon I shifted this! Amazing Yes That I am!
So true, Tim, beside the teachings from Universal Medicine, there is hardly anything in the world that teaches us to find our identity within, We learn to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us. Thank God for Universal Medicine and the Benhayon family.
Beautifully put Tim, “There is very little in this world that teaches us to find our identity from within, but rather to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us.” When we do not have a foundation of knowing ourselves from our love inside our hearts we get fooled by the things that are obviously void of love like separation.
Love your comment Tim, your following line resonated deeply with me. “Comparison is so insidious, I have found it to be an almost constant presence lingering in the shadows of my awareness, stemming from a lack of true appreciation of myself and the love that I am within.”
yes Tim, ‘appreciation of myself and the love that I am within’ is the key to shifting ideals and beliefs which have had so much power for so long.
Realising that we are not holding others in love, and comparing or judging is a great sign of where we have to look at bringing more apprecition of ourselves and the love that we are within.
Well said Simone. This foundation of love is so strong that the beliefs and ideals can be seen for what they are – an imposition that does not come from who we are.
“I am finding these patterns are gradually shifting as I live in a more self loving way”… me too Tim. I find that these little thoughts of comparison creep in from time to time, they are so instant, but as a very beautiful and wise women said recently, just say “stop it”, to the imposing energy, and at the same time appreciate ourselves for who we are. I am slowly building up more appreciation of me, and breaking old patterns and this is allowing more of an appreciation of others in the whole glorious process of letting go of the what is not.
Beautiful article and your comment is so complimentary, Tim. It is so true when you say, “There is very little in this world that teaches us to find our identity from within, but rather to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us.” Are we, and all of humanity, not fortunate to have Serge Benhayon to inspire us to come out of the shadows and thereby inspire others?
Absolutely Jonathan, we have been shown our way out of the shadows by someone who knows and lives the truth of who we are and to claim ‘our identity from within’ as Tim expresses. Serge Benhayon is today’s reflection and therefore teacher in offering humanity the way back to the natural harmony and love that we naturally are. We first must awaken fully from the slumber that has us invested in the belief that this human existence is all that there is!
Tim I love how you have shared with beautiful honesty the comparison that lingers in the shadows… It is such a killer and as you so rightly say stems from the lack of appreciation for ourselves. When I look at life and the way it is set up so to speak I find it fascinating that we are taught to look outside of ourselves saying that who we are is not enough. I have believed this my whole life until I attended Universal Medicine’s work presented by Serge Benhayon. Here is where I saw but more importantly felt my truth and how in fact I am Everything and that this is worth celebrating.
Beautifully expressed Tim, thank you for your clear sharing. And I have to agree fully, Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped me the same way, starting to appreciate myself more and more for who I am, and not relying on these false moments of ‘feeling better’ or ‘feeling lesser’ than another, being more and more aware of the awful game of comparison, a game where nobody wins.
Very well said – comparison has also played a huge role in not allowing me to fully appreciate myself and consequently the world around me and those in it. You are literally walking around judging everything and everyone. A complete waste of our potential. Through the work and support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine this has certainly begun to shift and with loving myself more comes appreciation of me and others around me.
So true Tim, ‘There is very little in this world that teaches us to find our identity from within, but rather to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us.’ This is horrible because it sets us up for on going comparison. I agree, it is time to shine light on comparison, ideals and beliefs and anything that is not true so we can let these imprisoning patterns go.
Tim – your comment triggered the question ‘why do we compare’ – and from what I can feel – it is the easiest way we can think that everyone is separate – when really we are all the same. Yes we have different choices, but we also have a huge responsibility to other people. Love knows no colour, no body type, no sex, no force. True love is simply an allowing of another and a beholding. If we start to see the love that is there rather than the comparison, then how can it not bring us closer together and to a point of true understanding.
I know that too Leigh, for me it is shocking to find that I have allowed comparison into my life in order to feel me better or less that the other. it is just something I made up in my mind as in truth I know we are all the same: human beings living here on earth, trying to make something of our lives to the best of our ability and in that we are all the same, irrespectively of how successful or not our lives look from the outside. Now I can appreciate the fact that I have come to this understanding and have learned another aspect of the human behaviour. This understanding will assist me in accepting where people are coming from and not to shy away on what they reflect to me but instead can see through that and see that they are equal to me, a fellow human being.
This is beautiful Nico, at times it can be difficult to accept the choices and actions af another, but allowing ourselves to do this can be very freeing, I have found that I feel more free to be me. And the whole world gets to feel the beauty and love that I hold for myself and as I am rediscovering, I actually hold the same love for all.
I used to think that people were ‘the enemy’, and I sometimes found that I couldn’t accept their behaviours and judged them by my standards. The more I begin to love myself the more I begin to accept others as they are, knowing that they are a reflection of me, and I realise now that I was busy judging and not accepting myself too. The more I begin to love myself the more I accept others, and the love for all is growing for them because they are no different from me, we are all reflections of each other and all healing together.
Dear Sandra,
Your comment just pulled me out of a moment of self criticism, thank you. Divine timing.
Beautiful comment Sandra, I have found love and acceptance of our self naturally flows to include other people.
Beautifully said Katie, keeping our self love barometer full to the brim is so important. We all have so much love and wisdom inside that is there to share with all of humanity. When I am fully loving myself dearly, I want to be a part of my community and to share myself freely. But when I have let self criticism have a say, I find that I want to avoid people and shut myself away. This has now become another hint for me as to when I have let my self love barometer drop some.
Yes same Sandra, I did not trust anyone. This was all from my hurt. An illusion. The love and understanding I have for people is palpable. There is so much to life when you make it about love.
Beautiful comment Sandra, it seems so simple that if we love ourselves then we will judge others less harshly and instead be more understanding of how others are behaving. I have experienced this strongly and I know now to look at me directly if another makes me feel irritated in their manner of choices as it is often a reflection of how I have lived also. As someone commented earlier on this thread, the more love we build in ourselves, the less room there is for judgement, criticism and negativity. As Leigh said, she has reached another platform, and we never stop moving on to the platform above.
Lovely Sandra and so true, thank you.
You share such a great example of how our beliefs affect us so deeply Leigh. In our political correct world I often wonder how this way of being limits us to really feeling and admitting our prejudices. With the support of Universal Medicine and what Serge Benhayon presents we have an opportunity to feel in our bodies sometimes shocking and sad things that we know full well are not from us but imposed on us. This is not a way to shirk any responsibility, in fact it makes us more responsible for adopting a belief without really feeling into what affect it is having on us and our bodies.
I agree Suzanne – it actually takes great responsibility, honesty and awareness to see these ideals and beliefs as exactly that – they are what we have chosen to take on thinking they are us and usually we are so stuck in them, comfortable in the world we have created, we choose not to see them.
‘..it actually takes great responsibility, honesty and awareness to see these ideals and beliefs as exactly that’ – I agree Simone. To allow oneself to feel these sometimes confronting and shaking patterns of separation without being drawn back into them or identified by them is a great testament to ones living way. In other words, the level of love in Leigh’s body has risen to not hold such a dense vibration such as this comparison.
Exactly Rachael – as any comparison at all dims that bright light of Love within. So it is important to check in where we do still compare or hold judgement just by learnt ill beliefs we may have taken on.
Thank you Karina, Leigh and Rachael. Comparison comes from not feel full within ourselves and looking outside. It is a denseness that disguises as a friend, but is in fact brotherhood’s enemy. Thank you for clearly expressing on this topic. It definitely needs to be exposed. With Love, Arianne
So true, Karina, there is always something to work on!
Absolutely Karina – “…any comparison at all dims the bright light of Love within” – you have beautifully expressed a truth we have all experienced.
As I read your post I take a big sigh, how can we hold our light we we go into comparison or judgment. It is impossible. I really feel how much of this we need to work on as a society as jealousy and comparison is riff.
I’m with you Karina, comparison certainly dims our light!
I did a photo shoot recently and all was going well until, quick as a flash I went into comparison and lost my sparkle. I was not in my body anymore. This was a choice based on my past hurts and once recognised I could bring myself back. This is what responsibility is all about, not letting these invasive, imposing thoughts pervade us and take us away from ourselves. We are not then doing ourselves or anyone else any favours as we are keeping our true selves from being seen, felt and heard. But WOW, this super new found awareness just means that there are now no excuses but stay connected to ourselves and shine! How simple 🙂
I have been doggedly holding on to ideals and beliefs around many things, but what a fantastic point we have now come to by having the awareness to realise we have based our lives on these ideals and beliefs and now all that is required is for us to check in and let them go, freeing ourselves up for more expansion in our bodies, which leads to feeling more love and stillness, it then becomes a natural progression to not only accept ourselves, but accept and love all others equally.
This is a great conversation to have, as the light of comparison is literally a killer of relationships and a shutting down and creating illness in our own bodies. I love what everyone is sharing here.
I have found it key to be open to seeing how I have still to feel I need to use ideals and beliefs to feel more secure and in control of my life. As I let go more and more, I connect with the flow of life and the absolute gorgeous vulnerability that comes with letting everything I see and feel within be seen in all that I do.
I love the honesty when you talk about why we hold on to ideals and beliefs- the ‘need to use ideals and beliefs to feel more secure and in control of my life.’ Vulnerability can seem scary at first but your celebration of it is supporting me to allow ‘everything I see and feel within be seen in all that I do.’ How cool is that!
I resonate to what you have shared Abby, it is firstly to feel deeper in order to understand one’ s clinging to ideals and beliefs and to be open in order that this can be exposed.
Love what you have written Abby “As I let go more and more, I connect with the flow of life and the absolute gorgeous vulnerability that comes with letting everything I see and feel within be seen in all that I do.” What a fantastic sentence of wisdom. I had to read it a few times to study it. What has great success in letting go is walking. Nothing beats going for a walk to feel better. Guarantee it to the bone!
Abby it is super interesting how we can hold onto these ideals and beliefs thinking that this is it. But as you say there is much to experience when we allow the vulnerability when letting go and simply allowing life to come to you as opposed to trying to control it. One that’s a constant letting go and allowing.
Agree Abby, I can very much relate to this weird familiarity of controlling life, but more and more, embracing my vulnerability and just being in life, the hardness and disconnection that comes with control develops as an un-familar discomfort in my body squeezing the spaciousness of the joy and lightness of my vulnerability.
Abby thank you for opening up this level of vulnerability.
Rachel what you shared this morning resonates deeply with me just now “the hardness and disconnection that comes with control developed an in farmilar discomfort in my body squeezing the spaciousness of the joy and lightness of my vulnerability”.
Thank you.
I love what you have shared here Abby. Using ideals and beliefs to feel secure is a form of comfort too. Showing our vulnerabilities allows for expansion in our relationships with ourlselves and others too.
I can relate to this too Abby, and have found the need to use ideals and beliefs comes from a need to feel in control, which in turn comes from a lack of self-worth from within and having to rely on something on the outside to feel secure or to provide a measure of worth… The ridiculous thing I have experienced is that the more control I try to exert externally (including holding onto ideals and beliefs) the less control (of who I really am) I actually have, the more tense I feel and the less self-worth I actually have. In contrast, the more I let go, the less tense I feel, and the more I feel who I truly am… as you say, there is also a flow that comes with this, much more expansion and my self-worth becomes a reflection of this.
Abby, you have started a great conversation here, and I love too what Natalie and Racheal have added with this. I certainly can feel when the control kicks in and I become hard and disconnected and yes the joy is nowhere to be found. Until I am honest, let go and allow myself to feel again.
In those moments where we feel absolute connection to ourselves and everything else, all those thoughts, pictures etc of who we think we are and what we think we want, issues and problems etc just vanish. This shows that they’re not really part of who we are – just a layer that we add to identify ourselves with. With letting go of the pictures, one by one, comes incrementally more freedom – and it’s something we experience and feel in our bodies.
Beautifully expressed Rachael, ‘the level of love in Leigh’s body has risen to not hold such a dense vibration such as this comparison’. With this understanding we all have a marker for recognising when we make judgements of any kind – our body knows and the denseness is felt. The simple choice to look and feel more deeply as Leigh has is truly liberating.
I love this line – the level of love in Leigh’s body has risen to not hold such a dense vibration such as this comparison.
Yes me three. Build up the love and there is no room for anything else.
Yes it’s so well expressed and can be applied to ones own body too – so we can always check in for that, a clear marker, thank you.
Oh yeah Rachael, that is so well put, it takes a commitment to living with only love and with responsibility purging out anything which is not love. So I would like to repeat the beautiful quote now loved by many: “In other words, the level of love in Leigh’s body has risen to not hold such a dense vibration such as this comparison.”
Yep, gotta love it Bernard. bring in more love, squash out what is not love.
Ah ha Simone, responsibility, honesty and awareness. Three powerful words that once embodied, will expedite our personal growth back to the great love that we innately are. Ideals and beliefs can be shifted, and having the awareness that they don’t come from us, but are imposed on us, is the key, then we can truly begin to make changes as this knowing gives us the freedom to do just that. In the past I have indulged in these negative emotions, under the belief that they were me and I was powerless to do anything about it, but recently, through my honesty and awareness I have taken responsibility and said NO, I don’t want to live like this anymore, and once the commitment is lived, and the consistency is built then I am beginning to feel who I truly am, and those around me are beginning to feel it too, We are awesome, are we not, and feeling that love for myself supports me in expressing that love equally to everyone. I am not perfect by any means, but knowing the truth is enlightening, literally!
Sandra the power and clarity of your words is deeply felt.
Sandra and Mary, the same can be said by many. Coming to understand that any emotion is not us is quite mind boggling to begin with as we have believed that they are us for so long. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine Practitioners we are now able to discern the real us and those emotions that are not. your openess and honesty here is a great support for all of us.
Well said Sandra and Mary, it takes great courage love and dedication to let go of our emotions.
That is gorgeous Sandra, thank you for sharing. I have been sort of ‘addicted’ to these negative thoughts too. Thinking it was me and totally indulging in them, having always something that was not good with me gave me attention in a way too.
Realising my thoughts are not mine and that that always seeing something not good in myself was actually not true at all has been a great revelation. And very freeing.
Yes I could say I was ‘addicted’ to negative emotions and definitely indulged. I know the attachment was and sometimes can be there because if it’s suggested that I’m indulging there’s a little panic of oh no i can’t have my emotions.
But remembering I am way more than them I can come back to myself and really feel how they are not me and are so disruptive.
Yes Lieke, it is so freeing when we realise that ‘my thoughts are not mine’ and also, as Sandra says, to be able to ‘discern the difference between emotions and true feelings.’ I always knew that emotions were harming but I suppressed my feelings too for fear that I was being emotional. The energy however is completely different and suppressing feelings starts to numb us so that we can longer discern or connect to our truth.
Sandra great what you share, it is having the awareness that ideals and beliefs are not us, then we can say NO to the negative emotions that have controlled us for so long. Many of us have felt powerless with these emotions, with the loving support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine we have come to understand that they are not us and that we can say no, once we recognise them and are able to be honest that we have been caught up in the indulgence of them.
Amita, I have been caught up in the indulgence of negative emotions believing them to be me. What Serge Benhayon has taught me is pure gold. I am 100% not my negative emotions and have been choosing them for far too long, because dealing with my hurts was too painful. Now, with this awareness I can choose another way, and that way is to come back to me, moment to moment. I am not perfect by any means, but now I have no excuses, I know the truth and it is time to take responsibility for it and stop making it about me, because we are all in this together, then my responsibility not only makes it about me it is about all of us.
Love reading what you always share Sandra. If you can turn your life around from negative emotions to speak such great wisdom that another can learn and grow from, than we all need to know about this.
Yes Amita, when we see these thoughts and emotions for what they are and not get caught up in them, we realise they are not a part of us at all then we can watch them come and go, just observing.
That’s it Mary, we are deeply under the illusion that we are powerless and believe that these emotions come from us. Once we know better we can then say no to them. Any resistance we then feel when we say no is not coming from us either, if we can realise that then we are well on our way to coming back to love, and any hold that these negative emotions have on us is lessened every time we claim our power back. Saying “stop it!” every time I feel a negative emotion coming on, such as jealousy, anger or frustration is a nail in the coffin of the ‘what is not me!’
Sandra and Mary, well illustrated and very practical ways to recognise that there are thoughts we hold that are not ours, you offer simple steps to letting them go without drama.
I love and agree with what you share here Sandra. I too am choosing to let go of my ideals and beliefs, any pictures I have on how things should be.
That’s great Lorraine Wellman, letting go of those pictures can be so hard sometimes, they are so deeply ingrained in our psyche. But I feel that by letting go of the pictures it can open up the gates to a whole new world of possibilities and potentials that we could never have dreamed of, we just need to let go of outcomes.
Me too Lorraine. Each time I go into a belief or ideal of how I should be or the expectation of another I can feel that this limits the opportunity to love one another and bring more quality and depth to the relationship.
Such a powerful realisation Sandra, thank you for sharing.
I agree Michael and Sandra, and it’s a key to remember – to let go of outcomes is a very freeing and liberating thing to do as this opens up all sorts of new possibilities that with a fixed outcome in mind, we never would be able to experience.
Sandra, Michael and Karina,
Letting go of outcomes, it opens us up for so much more in our lives. Doing this supports us to let go of control as we surrender to not needing things to turn out a certain way.
Beautifully expressed Mary and Sandra. Emotions have such an enormous hold over us, that to recognise this and be aware of when we get caught up in them is a huge step forward in changing the way we live our lives. I can remember thinking in the past, that if someone was not emotional they were cold and unfeeling. Well, that may be the case for those who have become so hard that they simply don’t feel anything anymore, but I know now that our emotions are just as harming. It is with thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that many are now able to discern the difference between emotions and true feelings.
Thank you Sandra and Mary for what you and others have added here as I can relate to thinking these emotions were me for many many years and couldn’t do anything ablaut them. It has been freeing to discover these emotions, thoughts or beliefs held are not me but there to stop me or ways I have chosen to not feel and be me. The true me.
It is so insidious and arrogant how the beliefs we hold onto seem to give us the right to judge others as less or even better than ourselves. It indeed takes great self-responsibility to develop the honesty and awareness to challenge these automatic frameworks.
Judging someone as more than us is a dishonouring of ourselves, and judging someone as less is dishonouring of ourselves too! Going into comparison and jealousy is just a case of self-fury knowing that we are not being our true selves. Yes, it takes honesty and responsibility, but it is so worth the journey.
I completely agree Sandra. That we feel the need to judge means we’ve already dishonoured ourselves by not appreciating who we truly are – a Son of God who is never less than another.
Well said Sandra – “Going into comparison and jealousy is just a case of self-fury knowing that we are not being our true selves.” And having to feel how yucky that feels. So yes the journey out of such beliefs and comparisons is worth every step we have to take.
Indeed Jenny.
I have found the way to truly feel what is true is to understand it from my body and not purely from my head or other peoples views. Yes it is arrogant to judge with no understanding. But this is the easy way out to give our power away and not take self responsibility as you say. Just because something is normal does not mean it is true. We are not designed to follow each other but to honour our own bodies first.
“We are not designed to follow each other but to honour our own bodies first”… this struck a chord with me Hannah, and by honouring our bodies first it then honours others, and allows them to be, without imposing on them to be something we want them to be.
Yes these ‘automatic frameworks,’ as you say here Jenny are coming from our head as a distraction from what we feel to be truth and it that moment we just need to remember that another choice is always there waiting from our hearts.
Yes, these automatic frameworks, I know them very well. I put people in them and then all connection and love is gone. Letting go of the arrogance indeed and realizing there is no difference at all, gives ourselves and others the space to just be. This makes relationships so much more joyful.
I agree Jenny, it does take responsibility to be really honest and let all these things that are not us and don’t belong to us to come up to clear.
And to know that it is the falsely held ideals and beliefs that have caused ALL of the world’s suffering literally brings a feeling of tortured anguish to my body, knowing that none of it was necessary because its’ causes were entirely made up. Try telling that to anyone who has lost a child in war.
I agree, I was stuck in ideas and beliefs for a very long time and it was so exhausting. I really could not understand why I was constantly getting depressed . It wasn’t until I came across Universal Medicine, that I started to understand about ideals and beliefs and when I started to let them go, my depression started to disappear.
I don’t know how many times I have said Thank God for Universal Medicine (PUN INTENDED!). If UniMed didn’t re-mind me of the spark within, the deep essence that is untouched, that has no issues or does not create any, I would still be thinking there is something wrong me. Just having this basic awareness is freedom whenever I constantly choose it.
Great point Rik, it is a sad but a true reality that most of us grow up with thinking that something is wrong with us. Universal Medicine introduces us back to our truth, that we are all sons of God and that is tremendously liberating.
Adding to that: I grew up Christian and everything in the Christian faith tells you that you are not enough, because you are a sinner and it seems whatever you do you can never make up for it, especially if you are a woman, but even the men don’t have a chance. How are we supposed to live healthy, joyful lives being told this nonsense all our lives?
Yes tremendously healing and confirming Judith. I also ‘thought’ for a very long time, that there was something wrong with me, mainly because I was told so by others time and again – sentences like ‘what is wrong with you’ or ‘there is something wrong with you’ or ‘why are you the way you are, it’s not right’ were a constant companion, in the end I was asking myself that as well, as I came to believe the others were right that the way I was was so not ‘right’. So I agree with Rik too – Thank God for Serge Benhayon and all he brings to all of us, deeply healing and a loving acceptance and confirmation of who we are.
Exactly Simone, shaped by imposed ideals and beliefs that we have taken on that become our chosen reality. Boy does it shake our worlds when the truth is presented by Universal Medicine and we start to de-construct the fortress of ideals and beliefs we have used to judge ourselves and the world around us.
So true Jo, this is just what we need, the shake up to realise the way we have been living is not true and the great reminder of what is, by returning to the love we are.
This is so true Mary. Holding ideal pictures and beliefs do terrible things to our bodies and are a form of abuse, because as a result of the ideal and belief, EVERY move we make is in accordance with that and this takes us further and further away from living as the loving and deeply caring people that we are.
Well said Shevon – what a realisation to have and it is all at our fingertips to let go of these ill-creating beliefs that just hold us back from our true connection.
That is very revealing what you shared in your honest comment – that “EVERY move we make is in accordance with that ( ideals and believes) and this takes us further and further away from living as the loving and deeply caring people that we are.” I could feel that this is true and I wonder why we did not learn such an important insight in the kindergarten or at school – or much better direct from our parents.
Yes Suzanne, all it needs is what Leigh has expressed in her blog, the honesty of saying how it is. The moment I see a belief clearly and have no need to cover it up, hide it or ignore it, but honestly look at it, holding it into the light, I am able to let it go, simply because it makes no sense to hold onto it and it disappears.
Yes Judith, once I look at my ideals and beliefs in bright daylight the power they once had over me totally disappears as it does not make sense as you say.
And how liberating is this – such an awesome discovery and all other things to be let go of can easily then follow.
Very true Amina,
I can feel that there are many not yet felt ideals and beliefs in my body that affect how I am with myself and with others that I am yet to reveal. So yes it is super important that we do unravel every ideal. For I know that in time I will live in full the title of this blog. But for now it is living having felt this love and knowing it, choosing it to guide me as I discover the other ideals and beliefs that are there to deal with and be let go of.
Hi Leigh, Your blog is amazing! As you are too. Our ideals and beliefs are so insidious and so sneaky when they comes in that they do take us away from being that spark, and living that joy!
It is horrible to feel the consequences of these ideals and beliefs but … and a big buttt…. over time as you share we can see them, recognise them, let them go and live life more from the spark of light that we come from and not the heaviness of emotions that the ideals and beliefs trigger in us.
It is so true Suzanne, we have today so many politically correct meanings to terms our world that sound innocent and appear to be true but they can be far from it. In history, the meanings of words came first from the way of being before the word itself and thus it was a known action in the body that was being referred to. Yet today we have words that define an action that we learn to fit the definition of the word. Is this not deeply capping?
And also Suzanne, if we choose to not shirk the responsibility, and instead understand and learn from the experience. The hurt inside that triggered us to react how we did gets felt, and once felt we can begin to see the truth of why we have done what we have. Seeing this truth, brings understanding and true compassion to ourselves.