I have been learning to be an effective leader – and a role model – for the past two years, ever since I applied for a position as shop and staff co-coordinator in a small company.
I struggled a lot in learning to hold this position. It is like being in a sandwich between the owner, the customers and the staff, and feeling responsible for almost everything.
I wanted out at times, I soldiered on, hardened, tried to control situations, etc., but I am still holding this position today and I have made it my everyday commitment to learn how to be me as a woman in this environment and how to make it work… and how to make it fun.
What I am learning is the less I try to fight and control the situation, the less I try to counter pressure with pressure – and the more I allow myself to connect and see the person, be it customer, owner or staff – the easier it gets.
The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.
I feel one of my major downfalls when I took on the job was that I got so overwhelmed by what needed to be done, I lost sight of the team/staff who were actually there to support me in my task. Whenever I stop focussing on what needs to be done, demanding this of the staff, and start instead to focus more on the person – connecting with them, making sure they are in sync with everybody else – the more they get done in a shorter amount of time.
I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.
I have found that if people feel seen and appreciated, they naturally have what they call ‘a good day’. When people feel great, they are naturally more productive, they are more motivated, they get more done and they are naturally fast, because there is nothing in the way.
My position is therefore more about my being a leader and a role model, and not so much about taking charge, giving orders or doing all the ‘important’ jobs.
In fact, I have given a lot of the ‘important’ jobs to other staff members and they do them so well that it sometimes looks like I am not needed at all. I do a lot of the odd jobs, that people don’t like doing, like cleaning, tidying, etc. I do what needs to be done to have things flow.
At the end of the day, what I am learning is that it is all about me and what I role model in the workplace. Because people look at me all of the time – the staff, the owner and the customers – I am a focal point because I have a nametag that says ‘Shop Co-ordinator’.
So if it is about me, then it is about everything I do – the way I
- Prepare for sleep after work.
- Get up and lovingly prepare myself for work.
- Eat so I can support myself at work.
- Conduct myself at work.
In other words, it is about my commitment to supporting and caring for myself, so I can be present and alert whilst at work and can focus on what is going on around me.
Working like this is more fun as I feel good within myself; I am more open to connect with others because there are fewer things on my mind.
I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them.
And everyone, no matter how they behave, has a part inside them that likes to play and have fun. When I meet someone I look for this part – sometimes it takes a little while to uncover it, but it makes my day when I suddenly see the sparkle in someone’s eyes or a smile appear on their face.
So it is ALL about me – never about me being accepted and recognised – but about me being a living example of how it can be done in an easy, playful and fun way.
In the end anyone who claims back and takes responsibility for their life and well-being will stand out and be seen, whether their name tag reads ‘Manager’ or ‘Shop Assistant’.
Potentially, every one of us is a leader and a role model. The question is, are you willing to truly take the lead?
Inspired by the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Judith Andras, Germany
436 Comments
What you have shared Judith is really interesting
‘it is about my commitment to supporting and caring for myself, so I can be present and alert whilst at work and can focus on what is going on around me. ‘
Reading this blog, I have become aware that I don’t consider myself as part of the equation, Its interesting because it always seems to come back to how we are raised as children, as how we are raised can have a huge negative impact. I was raised for example in a family that believed children should be seen and not heard and that females are only there to be of service to other people. So many women grow up into adulthood with self-worth issues that can be crippling and affect them for the rest of their lives, so that they never fulfil their full potential.
Reading this i feel leading means supporting people to be themselves, leading them to their essence and nurturing them in a way in the work environment that they can be themselves …. then in the workplace we all lead with our essence. My personal experience of business is that it’s all about healing, by living with values (integrity, etc) and a quality that people feel deeply supported by, as well as meeting people for who they are by bringing all of me to them.
Reading this reminded me about making life about people. Anything else is set up to make life miserable.
“The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.” True group work.
Deeper and deeper we go together, there’s no other way back to where we all come from.
Judith having just started a new job this article really resonated with me, especially the bit that talks about focusing on people. Initially I too went in and focused on what needed to be done but I have switched my focus to the people that I come into contact with, not just face to face but also on the phone and by email because whatever the form of communication it is that we use, we are in a relationship with that person and therefore we have the potential to develop and deepen the relationship.
It doesn’t really matter what name tag we wear in an organisation, we are still a part of the whole, and much needed to ensure the business runs as it is required to. The tag may offer others an idea of the role we play and the skills we have but it doesn’t define us, the person. As you say everyone wants to be “seen and appreciated” not just for what we do, but who we are.
You share many gems in this blog Judith, this is important in every aspect of our lives, ‘I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them.’
This would be a great experience for many people at work, what a difference it could make, ‘Whenever I stop focussing on what needs to be done, demanding this of the staff, and start instead to focus more on the person – connecting with them, making sure they are in sync with everybody else – the more they get done in a shorter amount of time.’
I agree with you both, I hate to see the way some sales teams are whipped to make more sales so that they are in competition with each other and the people who are not making money are made to feel worthless and the snide comments from management about the tenure of their position generates fear, uncertainty and a desperation, which to me is not the way to motivate a sales team.
To truly lead is to follow the impulses of the inner-heart. Everyone has an inner-heart, that speaks greater than silence and that is super duper responsive to all that is felt and known.
People before our own pleasure in a way that is not in disregard to our body so that we all get to feel our-selves rather than being over-ridden and trodden-on and when this is happening in the work place it gets rid of comparison and jealousy as we will all feel equal and of service to everyone. Could it be that comparison and jealousy are the front runners for greed and corruption?
So many companies say with a slogan they make it about people, but in reality, it still is about the end result. As a company owner or manager our most important job is the growth and well-being of our employees and from there results will have an beautiful quality and a nice profit, but not the other way around.
I have found that in this current environment it seems all companies care about is profit, they don’t care about the staff. Companies are shedding staff to become ‘leaner and fitter’ but the work load doesn’t decrease it piles onto those that are left. This causes stress in the workplace whatever the profession. I was in a taxi listening to a radio interview where a very rich country is facing teacher shortages because of the stress the teachers are under, they are literally buckling under the stain of being over worked and under paid. The statistics given were very revealing and teachers are not in isolation as I have said this is happening across the all the different work places.
It’s so common too to believe we ourselves are there for others or for the work and not include our own self care within a day, I was appreciating how Judith has made it her commitment to be herself as a woman, and to just bring herself to everyone and everything.
Thank you Judith, I haven’t read this in some time, I enjoyed the reminders about connecting to people first and meeting and appreciating them, and not placing work before people. This line is wisdom for life, not just for work “The less I do and the more I allow myself to be, the better we work together as a team, the more things flow and work out in miraculous ways.”
I have discovered that the greatest way to deal with the pressure I can feel at times in my position as a manager in a very busy hotel, is with connection. Time and time again I find that the more I work in connection to my body and being, the less pressure I feel the less complications there are as all in every moment becomes clear with what is needed next and what my next move is that will best serve the staff, clients and business equally whilst also honoring my well-being. Yes, a huge learning, with no perfection imposed, but very fascinating to explore and inspiring to witness how it not only works but also supports all to feel that there is another way of working in a truly all-round successful way.
Thank you Carola, it’s amazing the wisdom we can all benefit from when one person shares what they have learnt from experience. Feeling pressured is so common in work, I would say that a part of that pressure is already there in the disconnection from ourselves, and then placing everything around us that has to be done as more important than our connection and self care adds to the pressure. Great to read how you tackled this and how the simplicity of connection to you and your body has been the way to still deliver at work without the pressure.
What I have noticed Carola when staying at hotels is how the clients especially when booking into their room seem to ignore the person booking them in and just want a room as quickly as possible with no hassle. So when I ask the receptionist how is their day going they are genuinely amazed that I want to know. But it takes so little to stop and ask how someone’s day is going and it can make someone’s day just because the question was caringly asked.
I work in IT Judith and when I make it more about the relationship and connection I have with the person it makes my job of fixing the computer much simpler with quicker resolutions.
Having always been a manager myself I have always seen my role as appreciating and inspiring others to bring their best and for myself doing whatever is needed. Usually as the “boss” it simply meant I worked for everyone! These days I am blessed to work with a team where we are all managers and all take care of whatever is needed.
By being all of who we are, we inspire and give permission for others to be all of who they are and that is super gorgeous!
Yes indeed – everyone one of us are role modelling through the way we choose to live. So the question is what is it, what qualities are we role modelling? As you say Nicola – ‘By being all of who we are, we inspire and give permission for others to be all of who they are…’ and yes that is true inspiration.
Judith these are golden words ‘I have discovered if I let people be and allow myself to just be myself, I have a lot more understanding and acceptance of them.’ – I too have noticed when I relax and take off the expectations on myself that I have space to enjoy me and then naturally I have the same approach with my colleagues and team. Such an important skill yet under rated and not taught or shared. Our lives could be so different if we refined our education system that supported us for life lessons and being ourselves. Not demanding from us to make us into something that we are not.
Very true, when the boss runs in nervous energy it affects the whole team and sets up an environment where people are walking on eggshells or running like headless chooks but with little purpose and in this state, it feels like you are busy but you actually get less done than what you are capable of.
MW you have just proved by your comment that everything is energy and that energy can be felt all the time. It makes complete sense as we are transmitters of energy and that it can be felt either as positive energy or negative energy and we all know we do not like to be around someone who is in negative energy, it sets our whole body on edge.
You can lead from the head and you can lead from the body. Leading from the body means there is less distance between what you are walking and what you are talking. In fact, you are talking what you walk which inevitably means you need less words!
I love what you share about taking the lead not being about your position in the company because everyone is seen in whatever position they are in. However, to have a leader who empowers and is unafraid to give others responsibility, and is not trying to ensure no-one takes their place – that is very inspiring.
So often we expect others to change so as to make our situation better. But what if the change equally comes from us. Making the needed changes ourselves has the potential to inspire others to also evolve.
The sign of a good leader is one that raises everyone up to their own level of skill/expertise and beyond, to the point that they can act as a support to the others who may have even surpassed the leader in many ways. This should be celebrated, not squashed as so often does in competitive work environments. It seems that Judith has stepped into the role of a true leader in many ways, and I love how she looks to make things fun and playful, which is so important as we all can get so serious about ‘getting things done’ instead of connecting with each other in a deeper way.
This is a great lesson for every situation, to simply let everyone be – so there can be playfulness and productivity all together in the same time.
Beautiful sharing Judith. I like the way you explain that what we do outside of work has as much impact on our coworkers as what we do while we are at work. We are all role models, all of the time.
” the less I try to counter pressure with pressure ”
This is very wise for pressure on pressure only leads to a higher pressure. Some times the pressure from a person is their resistance , to having been asked to develop and use their higher capability.
“I have found that if people feel seen and appreciated, they naturally have what they call ‘a good day’. ” – I have always found it funny and backwards how the typical management approach is to micro-manage and be over-controlling towards their employees, as if by pushing them, more will get accomplished. But what you have brought to your workplace Judith is what I feel is an example of true leadership, where the leader simply connects with the people doing the work in an honouring way and then allows their natural skills to be used in a trusting way. I also liked how Judith allowed other people to do more of the ‘important’ jobs and simply supported them in small ways. I have recently enjoyed doing that more myself at work and have noticed how powerful it is to let other people shine and show their abilities while I let go of the need for that and love being their assistant.
It’s a great comment Michael, if we aren’t able to simply be ourselves we can become so identified with our work roles and what we do, we can feel our only value is in those roles and being in competition with others is often a part of that. When we are content in the fullness of ourselves by being connected to our inner heart, and we know and appreciate all we are, all that superficial outer stuff of identifying with what we can do can fade away so to speak. We start to realise it’s about what we bring to what we do and the connections we can make with others.
When people feel seen and appreciated they respond like flowers being watered, they open and soften and from there embrace the work that needs to be done.
We work with people first and foremost and yes there are things that must be done but if we get them done in a way that harms people we’ve lost sight of what is truly important.
Judith – I love the simplicity and lightness with what you are sharing and also how you are not attached to doing all the ‘important jobs’, just what is needed to help things flow – this is very lovely and sounds like great teamwork.
“I can say the pressure and the complications are there whenever I make it about things and not about people.” This is absolutely true in my experience too Judith. My job requires me to have a handle on every area of the organisation I work for and for all of the organisations who we work in partnership with. If I focus on the volume of the work I need to do then I’m lost – I become overwhelmed, feel like its too intense, become exhausted etc. and yet when I simply focus on connecting with the people I am working with in that moment, I love my job and it feels so simple, even though the to do list hasn’t changed.
A beautiful question reminding us all that we can take the lead and that it is actually natural and important that we do so. Lovingly when we open our hearts to people and let them see us and let them in – we pull them up, lead the way and inspire (being a role model).
Finding our role in life is an open-ended-journey that will take us on life-expanding-passage so we all re-learn to express Love no matter what is in front of us or what we are doing.
It’s so true that it is not about the job title but about our potential to lead and role model which is a choice we all have. The more I am choosing to see life as seamless so that the way I care for myself at home affects the way I am at work the more connected I am with what needs doing whether it is strictly speaking part of my job role or not. I am also learning to lighten up and be playful rather than feeling weighed down by all the tasks that need to be
accomplished allowing for closer team working and a more enjoyable work environment.