I did not know that a relationship could feel so gorgeous – an amazing relationship built on love that developed over the Internet.
This relationship primarily has been founded on the Internet through Skype chats and WhatsApp messages, emails and letters by post. I met my partner on Facebook for a simple question about my computer. Straight away I felt so touched by the care and tenderness in this call but was not considering initiating an intimate relationship with him at this time, as he lived on the other side of the world.
Then, a little more than half a year later, simply enjoying chatting with him now and then, we decided to develop our relationship over the Internet further and from day one, it has been a beautiful unfolding of Love.
I never experienced this way of being in a relationship with a man before.
Past relationships were initiated from a point of need and finding a man that ticked the boxes and looked good too; this relationship has been mainly based on how he felt to me.
It just felt so true to be with him and there was a feeling of knowing each other so well.
What I began to observe and appreciate in these daily Skype calls was our commitment to love, how we focussed on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about. Feeling this forever holding love created a trust in us both and allowed us to feel confident to be our loving selves.
Above all, what I found so powerful in this relationship was that by encouraging each other to feel our own beauty, a beauty that was always there but that sometimes we did not see, accept or claim in ourselves, we have been able to offer true inspiration and support to each other.
What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.
Being in a relationship over the Internet means that there is no opportunity to give each other a real hug or something similar to resolve issues and tensions that may arise between us at times. So we learned very quickly to come back to love, as this tension and disconnection would make our chats feel horrible.
We always checked in with our connection, asked how much we are honouring each other, how the other is going, what might be going on for us and considered how things that happened in the day may have affected our ability to express lovingly with the other.
Even when at times it felt very uncomfortable, I realised that to build a relationship in this way has been a true blessing for me as it wiped out a lot of neediness and helped me to make the relationship about connection and love first and not only about looks, hugs, kisses and the physical act of making love.
I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person. Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself.
Meeting my partner in real life has been a confirmation of how to build a relationship over the Internet and, when I met him in person, it felt exactly the same as it did on Skype. Our connection was strong from the first day.
What I really appreciate about my partner, is how:
- He touches my heart
- He holds me ever so tenderly
- His commitment to love is absolute
- His joy is divine and sparkling
- His eyes are so tender and wise – blue as the skies
- His hugs are warm and snuggly
- His hands are so delicate and beautiful
- He holds a strength and a power that is magnificent
- He expresses his love very openly to me.
Equally I appreciate about myself how:
- I love people unconditionally
- My beautiful smile melts hearts
- My playfulness keeps things light
- My delicateness is profound and deeply sacred
- My eye for detail and order is absolute – don’t try to hide something from me!
- I create trust in other people just by being around
- My commitment is something you can count on.
Of course we needed to find our way with each other actually living together like all relationships, but the foundation of love and respect is there holding us very strong.
I continue to enjoy unfolding this amazing relationship with this beautiful man, and look forward to what actually truly living together will bring in the future.
Forever inspired by Serge and Miranda Benhayon, Michael and Emmalee Benhayon and other students of Universal Medicine as they reflected a true way of being in relationship.
Published with permission from my partner.
By Lieke van Haastrecht, Belgium, Ghent, 25 years old
Further Reading:
Starting a new relationship – the pictures we hold
Relationships, a Never Ending Journey
Relationships with Men Begin with My Relationship with Me
512 Comments
The internet is all about connection and when used for the purpose of deepening the connection of love between people it is serving a true purpose.
Love what you have shared Lieke, it is a True inspiration for everyone to find the True person for themselves online and get to Truly know them before you actually meet. Why not give it a go when we meet another, (we actually get to truly know them first) as Divorce rates are through the roof?
Beautiful to read how you built your relationship, and the support you brought to each other, ‘what I found so powerful in this relationship was that by encouraging each other to feel our own beauty, a beauty that was always there but that sometimes we did not see, accept or claim in ourselves, we have been able to offer true inspiration and support to each other.’
‘His joy is divine and sparkling’ I totally agree. ‘My beautiful smile melts hearts’ I totally agree. You are an amazing couple, there is an innocence in both of you that supports the relationship to be open and loving inspiring each other to grow and also inspire others to a truthfull way of living.
Beautiful to read about the internet being used for true and loving connection when there is so much misuse and abuse.
It seems to be almost the norm now that half or more long term relationships start on the internet – there is so much more choice available than just from our near surroundings.
It is sad to see the devastation neediness has on a relationship when Love has not been made the foundation. We all know Love is what we seek, yet we are all made of it and can choose it at any moment.
This article makes me see how true connection between people is beyond land mass and global distance. We are energy first in our beings and therefore we can love each other from afar.
A beautiful sharing Lieke, how by making love the very basis of your foundation, and honouring your own love, you were able to develop such a gorgeous relationship without being physically present.
I feel this is so important to have a strong and honouring love of self, and to have love as the basis of your foundation for the relationship.
What a beautiful example of inspiring another by claiming our own beauty within. Rather than seeking validation from another it feels more like appreciating it within ourselves and then having it confirmed or reflected back by another.
I love the qualities you express about you and your partner, appreciation of oneself and another is absolute paramount if we want to have a relationship that is truly evolving.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” Leike, this is so lovely to read and is in fact the basis for any true relationship whether it is for a couple or just two people having a chat in the street. Connecting to one another in this way is absolutley key before anything else.
This is pretty awesome, what having a long-distance relationship exposed for you both: i.e. that it has to be about connection first, otherwise what else is there? A relationship like this means that it’s not possible to cover up a lack of intimacy with hugs and physical connection – and in that, there is a great reflection and honesty about where each person is with their own connection, honesty and self-worth.
That is actually very true – the internet also allows us to hide more successfully but if you don’t choose that option, then the internet can allow for a lot of honesty.
This is a great example of how we can advance and deepen our relationships far and wide through the technology we have available to us today. With true purpose, AKA our deep connection and commitment to love we then are open to evolving and returning ourselves to the greater love that we are born of, as such honouring the power of all our relationships.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.”If we make it about external factors ultimately the relationship will fail and this is why we see so many relationships flop around us as society has made it about the outer not the inner.
The external leaves no room to support the internal to come through. You can see the beauty of the flower but it is not until you allow yourself to feel the unwavering divine scent that you can honour the delicateness of what is on offer to explore.
This is a modern template of what a relationship can be focussing on. And I don’t mean the internet side of things, but rather the total focus on the quality of each other and not the physical aspects like security, attraction, not being lonely, that can so often dominate the start of a relationship.
Agreed Simon. Base any relationship on this model and we have ourselves a world moving with far far greater love, truth, respect, honor and an openness to evolve.
It is beautiful to learn of a relationship of building a foundation of love on the Internet that is a healing for so much misuse of the Internet.
My experience to creating a foundation of love in a relationship with yourself and therefore another, is to note those qualities in yourself and appreciate throughout your day that this is what you bring to yourself, other relationships and life.
I am always amazed at how lovely it is to connect with someone over Skype. The telephone is wonderful too, as I love to hear the words and tones of the other person. But with Skype there is a vulnerability that for me is very present and humbling and it is in this that perhaps the relationship is supported to go deeper.
I love how you both have a commitment to love, how you hold each other in love, ‘how we focussed on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about.’ What a foundation for a beautiful relationship.
“My beautiful smile melts hearts” as did the depth in your eyes from the moment you looked at me after you were born, I felt this deep connection to love. It is a joy to watch you in the evolving relationship you are choosing – to be love and reflect this to the world.
It is so beautiful to read a blog from someone who actually loves being with their partner which just goes to show how rare that actually is because mostly I hear people complaining about their partner rather than appreciating them.
Great point Elizabeth, it is more common to complain about our partners than just totally loving and adoring them. Something to ponder on for all of us.
This shows that when there is the openess and willingness to connect then there are no barriers.
Gorgeous to read Leike, thank you for sharing, it was so great for you to have the space via the Internet to enable you to connect to your own love first and develop that, instead of the neediness of the hugs and kisses which most in relationship are looking for. The hugs and kisses are beautiful to feel without the neediness.
I love that love has no boundaries and that it can find it’s way even from different countries and through just technology – it just proves to me that love simply cannot be stopped.
How beautiful that love can come out of a social media vehicle that is so often abused
Thank you for sharing your story Lieke , it has been lovely to come back to it today and feel the tenderness that was there in your relating from day one; the love and respect that you held each other in from day one and the fact that this is an evolving relationship, not one you have limited by ideals and expectations or have put a cap on so to speak.
Our relationships are all nourished and built on the quality of connection we have with each other, a quality that is first founded on the quality of connection we have with ourselves. Beautifully shared Lieke.
It seems that appreciation is key to building strong relationships that can stand against the winds and currents of life.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” Beautiful Lieke. Connection leading to love – gorgeous
It is beautiful how powerful it is when love is the foundation of any relationship, the unfolding that follows is one that reveals and confirms a deeper connection to the love we are. Love is the source of true evolution.
What an awesome foundation to build a relationship on, so many relationships these days are based on a need to fill an emptiness. self love and looking to deal with remaining hurts is the best recipe for a good true loving relationship.
What a beautiful way to build a relationship – when done this way geography is irrelevant. The foundation is love, connection and purpose.
True – geography, nationality, race – all these things are irrelevant when it comes to love.
When we connect to the call of true love, anything is possible!
Thank you Lieke, it’s always a blessing to read your blog. What I appreciated today was the foundation you created to connect and to know one another through your essence – by the qualities you each hold. Your dedication to love together is beautiful.
Relationships always have to be founded on self-love… It is the way it is, and any other way will be a foundation built upon sand
Hi Lieke,
I love how our love forever continues to deepen since day one. Whilst there is the tensions and challenges at times, this is the way in every relationship and what has made ours so steady is that we don’t let them define our love and instead use them as a platform to go deeper and offer more to ourselves and each other.
So beautiful and inspiring to read, thank you Lieke for sharing you and your partners commitment to love, openness and honesty all ingredients for an evolving relationship and all this over the internet, the energy of love knows no bounds.
There is a deep tenderness in the description of your internet relationship and seeing that it can be so easily felt, it is no wonder that, with commitment to transparency and love, a long-distance union can develop, build and flourish.
When there is a commitment to love miracles become an everyday part of life.
The forever holding love you’ve described in your blog is the foundation of being truthful with yourself and each other, opening up to evolve together and to be an awesome reflection and inspiration to others around you.
The photo is beautiful and it is heartening that it was made by Lieke’s father!
It was actually my brother! But very beautiful anyway.
Lieke, we can really feel the depth of the level of love you both built within the relationship and how you were both so steady even when distance would seemingly be a problem. Your sharing shows us that it is all about holding that connection with your own self love and taking that with you when you communicated with each other via skype, and that in truth, how you feel about another person first, is everything.
Beautiful. A loving relationship with a foundation of true connection and appreciation.
Any relationship is built on connection first then the potential can be explored.
Yes, on being truthful which allows a true connection – which can be negative, in which case nothing happens but that may be better than a false, positive connection.
A relationship over the internet as the beginning, it will sure have some challenges but it seems that by taking the time to connect and understand the other person there is much intimacy and deep love that can be formed. As you say Lieke, the next stage is to develop that love and care when we come together with another.
What a very beautiful story to read Lieke; I love how in evolving your relationship you both connected to yourselves first, then shared true love and intimacy.
Lieke, what you are describing here is so beautiful because it shows us how we are all love and it is just a matter of letting ourselves express it, whether that is over the Internet or in person. The more love we express, the more love there is to be expressed.
So gorgeous to read this story, knowing that it is true love that build this relationship. Is only inspiring me to develop this deeper within myself.
It is key that you had a deep foundation of self love and were not looking for this outside yourself as you say Lieke, ‘I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person’.
I love your appreciation for life, and for you and for your husband Lieke, it’s very heart-warming to read.
Setting new standards for the normal dogma abuse that takes place over internet interactions.
This is great, and shows the true nature of relationship. Developing love together, not leaving the other to solve our need but deepen our love for ourselves, and eachother. It is beautiful to feel and read.
Finally a true internet story that does not involve abuse of one kind or another.
This is a beautiful sharing, how truly when we love ourselves and give space for ourselves we can also then find a partner who truly connects and shares the same love. When two people have a great foundation of self love this can only support and grow a relationship together.
This is such beautiful testament that time and distance is no barrier to the power of love. However, this is not an unrealistic fairy-tale romance where life is seen through rose-tinted glasses and the tensions of real life do not exist. Instead it is a testament to the fact that although the love is there, to make it work, it does not just happen, you also have to put in the work to sustain that love. A truly beautiful and inspiring sharing.
What a beautiful unfolding of love with your self and your partner, now husband. This seems quite rare these days but just goes to show what can happen if we stay true to ourselves and true in our relationships.
Being open, transparent and honest are key ingredients in a relationship- it’s not the good looks, brains and money we are shown to be seduced by.
The internet is used for so many terrible things. It is inspiring and gorgeous that you have been able to use it to build true love. What a beautiful imprint you have left for others.
I really love reading this blog Leike. The love between you and your husband feels so genuine and true. It brings me to absolute power of connection..
This is gorgeous, Lieke, and a joy to re-visit. It feels so liberating to develop a relationship in this way and breaks the mould of the usual ‘mating rituals’ that can be about anything but true love and responsibility. I hope that other young people get to read this blog – perhaps it could be an article in a magazine?
‘ Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself.’ Beautifully said Lieke, your blog is deeply inspiring and supportive for anyone considering internet dating or beginning a relationship, the choice to always deepen the relationship with you first has been key to you building a loving relationship with your partner.
It is a joy for me to feel the loving connection in your relationship. What you have developed is awesome and inspirational as it is about true foundation and connection and that does not always need to start as something physical. Awesome, Lieke.
I love the absolute joy in this blog and it reminds me of the joy that can be present when 2 people connect.
A truly inspiring sharing for the foundation of building a true loving relationship. The truth of your love radiates out from the writing and it is so true when you write, “… that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.”
I love how you are making your relationship about love and connection first, and as you say that has to start with love of self, ‘I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.’
The ease at which you describe the unfolding of your relationship is beautiful. There seems nothing forced or needy in the process just openness and an allowing for what is there.
Thank you for sharing Lieke, this is a beautiful foundation to build for yourselves, ‘ was our commitment to love, how we focussed on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about. Feeling this forever holding love created a trust in us both and allowed us to feel confident to be our loving selves.’
My husband reminded me today how before we got together we used to email each other when I lived abroad. It was gorgeous to establish this as a foundation.