I did not know that a relationship could feel so gorgeous β an amazing relationship built on love that developed over the Internet.
This relationship primarily has been founded on the Internet through Skype chats and WhatsApp messages, emails and letters by post. I met my partner on Facebook for a simple question about my computer. Straight away I felt so touched by the care and tenderness in this call but was not considering initiating an intimate relationship with him at this time, as he lived on the other side of the world.
Then, a little more than half a year later, simply enjoying chatting with him now and then, we decided to develop our relationship over the Internet further and from day one, it has been a beautiful unfolding of Love.
I never experienced this way of being in a relationship with a man before.
Past relationships were initiated from a point of need and finding a man that ticked the boxes and looked good too; this relationship has been mainly based on how he felt to me.
It just felt so true to be with him and there was a feeling of knowing each other so well.
What I began to observe and appreciate in these daily Skype calls was our commitment to love, how we focussed on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about. Feeling this forever holding love created a trust in us both and allowed us to feel confident to be our loving selves.
Above all, what I found so powerful in this relationship was that by encouraging each other to feel our own beauty, a beauty that was always there but that sometimes we did not see, accept or claim in ourselves, we have been able to offer true inspiration and support to each other.
What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.
Being in a relationship over the Internet means that there is no opportunity to give each other a real hug or something similar to resolve issues and tensions that may arise between us at times. So we learned very quickly to come back to love, as this tension and disconnection would make our chats feel horrible.
We always checked in with our connection, asked how much we are honouring each other, how the other is going, what might be going on for us and considered how things that happened in the day may have affected our ability to express lovingly with the other.
Even when at times it felt very uncomfortable, I realised that to build a relationship in this way has been a true blessing for me as it wiped out a lot of neediness and helped me to make the relationship about connection and love first and not only about looks, hugs, kisses and the physical act of making love.
I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person. Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself.
Meeting my partner in real life has been a confirmation of how to build a relationship over the Internet and, when I met him in person, it felt exactly the same as it did on Skype. Our connection was strong from the first day.
What I really appreciate about my partner, is how:
- He touches my heart
- He holds me ever so tenderly
- His commitment to love is absolute
- His joy is divine and sparkling
- His eyes are so tender and wise β blue as the skies
- His hugs are warm and snuggly
- His hands are so delicate and beautiful
- He holds a strength and a power that is magnificent
- He expresses his love very openly to me.
Equally I appreciate about myself how:
- I love people unconditionally
- My beautiful smile melts hearts
- My playfulness keeps things light
- My delicateness is profound and deeply sacred
- My eye for detail and order is absolute β donβt try to hide something from me!
- I create trust in other people just by being around
- My commitment is something you can count on.
Of course we needed to find our way with each other actually living together like all relationships, but the foundation of love and respect is there holding us very strong.
I continue to enjoy unfolding this amazing relationship with this beautiful man, and look forward to what actually truly living together will bring in the future.
Forever inspired by Serge and Miranda Benhayon, Michael and Emmalee Benhayon and other students of Universal Medicine as they reflected a true way of being in relationship.
Published with permission from my partner.
By Lieke van Haastrecht, Belgium, Ghent, 25 years old
Further Reading:
Starting a new relationship – the pictures we hold
Relationships, a Never Ending Journey
Relationships with Men Begin with My Relationship with Me
The internet is all about connection and when used for the purpose of deepening the connection of love between people it is serving a true purpose.
Love what you have shared Lieke, it is a True inspiration for everyone to find the True person for themselves online and get to Truly know them before you actually meet. Why not give it a go when we meet another, (we actually get to truly know them first) as Divorce rates are through the roof?
Beautiful to read how you built your relationship, and the support you brought to each other, ‘what I found so powerful in this relationship was that by encouraging each other to feel our own beauty, a beauty that was always there but that sometimes we did not see, accept or claim in ourselves, we have been able to offer true inspiration and support to each other.’
‘His joy is divine and sparkling’ I totally agree. ‘My beautiful smile melts hearts’ I totally agree. You are an amazing couple, there is an innocence in both of you that supports the relationship to be open and loving inspiring each other to grow and also inspire others to a truthfull way of living.
Beautiful to read about the internet being used for true and loving connection when there is so much misuse and abuse.
It seems to be almost the norm now that half or more long term relationships start on the internet – there is so much more choice available than just from our near surroundings.
It is sad to see the devastation neediness has on a relationship when Love has not been made the foundation. We all know Love is what we seek, yet we are all made of it and can choose it at any moment.
This article makes me see how true connection between people is beyond land mass and global distance. We are energy first in our beings and therefore we can love each other from afar.
A beautiful sharing Lieke, how by making love the very basis of your foundation, and honouring your own love, you were able to develop such a gorgeous relationship without being physically present.
I feel this is so important to have a strong and honouring love of self, and to have love as the basis of your foundation for the relationship.
What a beautiful example of inspiring another by claiming our own beauty within. Rather than seeking validation from another it feels more like appreciating it within ourselves and then having it confirmed or reflected back by another.
I love the qualities you express about you and your partner, appreciation of oneself and another is absolute paramount if we want to have a relationship that is truly evolving.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” Leike, this is so lovely to read and is in fact the basis for any true relationship whether it is for a couple or just two people having a chat in the street. Connecting to one another in this way is absolutley key before anything else.
This is pretty awesome, what having a long-distance relationship exposed for you both: i.e. that it has to be about connection first, otherwise what else is there? A relationship like this means that it’s not possible to cover up a lack of intimacy with hugs and physical connection – and in that, there is a great reflection and honesty about where each person is with their own connection, honesty and self-worth.
That is actually very true – the internet also allows us to hide more successfully but if you don’t choose that option, then the internet can allow for a lot of honesty.
This is a great example of how we can advance and deepen our relationships far and wide through the technology we have available to us today. With true purpose, AKA our deep connection and commitment to love we then are open to evolving and returning ourselves to the greater love that we are born of, as such honouring the power of all our relationships.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.”If we make it about external factors ultimately the relationship will fail and this is why we see so many relationships flop around us as society has made it about the outer not the inner.
The external leaves no room to support the internal to come through. You can see the beauty of the flower but it is not until you allow yourself to feel the unwavering divine scent that you can honour the delicateness of what is on offer to explore.
This is a modern template of what a relationship can be focussing on. And I don’t mean the internet side of things, but rather the total focus on the quality of each other and not the physical aspects like security, attraction, not being lonely, that can so often dominate the start of a relationship.
Agreed Simon. Base any relationship on this model and we have ourselves a world moving with far far greater love, truth, respect, honor and an openness to evolve.
It is beautiful to learn of a relationship of building a foundation of love on the Internet that is a healing for so much misuse of the Internet.
My experience to creating a foundation of love in a relationship with yourself and therefore another, is to note those qualities in yourself and appreciate throughout your day that this is what you bring to yourself, other relationships and life.
I am always amazed at how lovely it is to connect with someone over Skype. The telephone is wonderful too, as I love to hear the words and tones of the other person. But with Skype there is a vulnerability that for me is very present and humbling and it is in this that perhaps the relationship is supported to go deeper.
I love how you both have a commitment to love, how you hold each other in love, ‘how we focussed on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about.’ What a foundation for a beautiful relationship.
“My beautiful smile melts hearts” as did the depth in your eyes from the moment you looked at me after you were born, I felt this deep connection to love. It is a joy to watch you in the evolving relationship you are choosing – to be love and reflect this to the world.
It is so beautiful to read a blog from someone who actually loves being with their partner which just goes to show how rare that actually is because mostly I hear people complaining about their partner rather than appreciating them.
Great point Elizabeth, it is more common to complain about our partners than just totally loving and adoring them. Something to ponder on for all of us.
This shows that when there is the openess and willingness to connect then there are no barriers.
Gorgeous to read Leike, thank you for sharing, it was so great for you to have the space via the Internet to enable you to connect to your own love first and develop that, instead of the neediness of the hugs and kisses which most in relationship are looking for. The hugs and kisses are beautiful to feel without the neediness.
I love that love has no boundaries and that it can find it’s way even from different countries and through just technology – it just proves to me that love simply cannot be stopped.
How beautiful that love can come out of a social media vehicle that is so often abused
Thank you for sharing your story Lieke , it has been lovely to come back to it today and feel the tenderness that was there in your relating from day one; the love and respect that you held each other in from day one and the fact that this is an evolving relationship, not one you have limited by ideals and expectations or have put a cap on so to speak.
Our relationships are all nourished and built on the quality of connection we have with each other, a quality that is first founded on the quality of connection we have with ourselves. Beautifully shared Lieke.
It seems that appreciation is key to building strong relationships that can stand against the winds and currents of life.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” Beautiful Lieke. Connection leading to love – gorgeous
It is beautiful how powerful it is when love is the foundation of any relationship, the unfolding that follows is one that reveals and confirms a deeper connection to the love we are. Love is the source of true evolution.
What an awesome foundation to build a relationship on, so many relationships these days are based on a need to fill an emptiness. self love and looking to deal with remaining hurts is the best recipe for a good true loving relationship.
What a beautiful way to build a relationship – when done this way geography is irrelevant. The foundation is love, connection and purpose.
True – geography, nationality, race – all these things are irrelevant when it comes to love.
When we connect to the call of true love, anything is possible!
Thank you Lieke, it’s always a blessing to read your blog. What I appreciated today was the foundation you created to connect and to know one another through your essence – by the qualities you each hold. Your dedication to love together is beautiful.
Relationships always have to be founded on self-love⦠It is the way it is, and any other way will be a foundation built upon sand
Hi Lieke,
I love how our love forever continues to deepen since day one. Whilst there is the tensions and challenges at times, this is the way in every relationship and what has made ours so steady is that we don’t let them define our love and instead use them as a platform to go deeper and offer more to ourselves and each other.
So beautiful and inspiring to read, thank you Lieke for sharing you and your partners commitment to love, openness and honesty all ingredients for an evolving relationship and all this over the internet, the energy of love knows no bounds.
There is a deep tenderness in the description of your internet relationship and seeing that it can be so easily felt, it is no wonder that, with commitment to transparency and love, a long-distance union can develop, build and flourish.
When there is a commitment to love miracles become an everyday part of life.
The forever holding love you’ve described in your blog is the foundation of being truthful with yourself and each other, opening up to evolve together and to be an awesome reflection and inspiration to others around you.
The photo is beautiful and it is heartening that it was made by Lieke’s father!
It was actually my brother! But very beautiful anyway.
Lieke, we can really feel the depth of the level of love you both built within the relationship and how you were both so steady even when distance would seemingly be a problem. Your sharing shows us that it is all about holding that connection with your own self love and taking that with you when you communicated with each other via skype, and that in truth, how you feel about another person first, is everything.
Beautiful. A loving relationship with a foundation of true connection and appreciation.
Any relationship is built on connection first then the potential can be explored.
Yes, on being truthful which allows a true connection – which can be negative, in which case nothing happens but that may be better than a false, positive connection.
A relationship over the internet as the beginning, it will sure have some challenges but it seems that by taking the time to connect and understand the other person there is much intimacy and deep love that can be formed. As you say Lieke, the next stage is to develop that love and care when we come together with another.
What a very beautiful story to read Lieke; I love how in evolving your relationship you both connected to yourselves first, then shared true love and intimacy.
Lieke, what you are describing here is so beautiful because it shows us how we are all love and it is just a matter of letting ourselves express it, whether that is over the Internet or in person. The more love we express, the more love there is to be expressed.
So gorgeous to read this story, knowing that it is true love that build this relationship. Is only inspiring me to develop this deeper within myself.
It is key that you had a deep foundation of self love and were not looking for this outside yourself as you say Lieke, ‘I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person’.
I love your appreciation for life, and for you and for your husband Lieke, it’s very heart-warming to read.
Setting new standards for the normal dogma abuse that takes place over internet interactions.
This is great, and shows the true nature of relationship. Developing love together, not leaving the other to solve our need but deepen our love for ourselves, and eachother. It is beautiful to feel and read.
Finally a true internet story that does not involve abuse of one kind or another.
This is a beautiful sharing, how truly when we love ourselves and give space for ourselves we can also then find a partner who truly connects and shares the same love. When two people have a great foundation of self love this can only support and grow a relationship together.
This is such beautiful testament that time and distance is no barrier to the power of love. However, this is not an unrealistic fairy-tale romance where life is seen through rose-tinted glasses and the tensions of real life do not exist. Instead it is a testament to the fact that although the love is there, to make it work, it does not just happen, you also have to put in the work to sustain that love. A truly beautiful and inspiring sharing.
What a beautiful unfolding of love with your self and your partner, now husband. This seems quite rare these days but just goes to show what can happen if we stay true to ourselves and true in our relationships.
Being open, transparent and honest are key ingredients in a relationship- it’s not the good looks, brains and money we are shown to be seduced by.
The internet is used for so many terrible things. It is inspiring and gorgeous that you have been able to use it to build true love. What a beautiful imprint you have left for others.
I really love reading this blog Leike. The love between you and your husband feels so genuine and true. It brings me to absolute power of connection..
This is gorgeous, Lieke, and a joy to re-visit. It feels so liberating to develop a relationship in this way and breaks the mould of the usual ‘mating rituals’ that can be about anything but true love and responsibility. I hope that other young people get to read this blog – perhaps it could be an article in a magazine?
‘ Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself.’ Beautifully said Lieke, your blog is deeply inspiring and supportive for anyone considering internet dating or beginning a relationship, the choice to always deepen the relationship with you first has been key to you building a loving relationship with your partner.
It is a joy for me to feel the loving connection in your relationship. What you have developed is awesome and inspirational as it is about true foundation and connection and that does not always need to start as something physical. Awesome, Lieke.
I love the absolute joy in this blog and it reminds me of the joy that can be present when 2 people connect.
A truly inspiring sharing for the foundation of building a true loving relationship. The truth of your love radiates out from the writing and it is so true when you write, “… that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.”
I love how you are making your relationship about love and connection first, and as you say that has to start with love of self, ‘I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.’
The ease at which you describe the unfolding of your relationship is beautiful. There seems nothing forced or needy in the process just openness and an allowing for what is there.
Thank you for sharing Lieke, this is a beautiful foundation to build for yourselves, ‘ was our commitment to love, how we focussed on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about. Feeling this forever holding love created a trust in us both and allowed us to feel confident to be our loving selves.’
My husband reminded me today how before we got together we used to email each other when I lived abroad. It was gorgeous to establish this as a foundation.
Lieke it is inspiring what you have shared and shows we really can live in a world without borders.
“Meeting my partner in real life has been a confirmation of how to build a relationship over the Internet and, when I met him in person, it felt exactly the same as it did on Skype” – what a super and lovely confirmation of just being real Lieke, i.e. no act or pretence, just natural and clear…leaving everything to be enjoyed so fully, and deeply.
“Above all, what I found so powerful in this relationship was that by encouraging each other to feel our own beauty, a beauty that was always there but that sometimes we did not see, accept or claim in ourselves, we have been able to offer true inspiration and support to each other.” I love this line Lieke and shows the true power of relationships is held in our love for ourselves and the support and care for others that flows from our own connection could melt an ice glacier instantly. Thank you for sharing this magnificent blog.
What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know. Lieke, what you talk about here is two people bringing all of themselves to each other, with nothing in between. This is taking responsibility for your contribution to this relationship/connection, and ensuring that neither of you load or place onto the other any emotion or stuff that is simply not you. This way you are both left to enjoy the beauty of the other in the most natural way.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know” – yes, connection first, the basis of all relationships Lieke both personally and also professionally…. there’s a certain levelling and honouring of each other when this occurs i find that’s very trust building too.
Thank you for sharing, the best ways to date and the foundation of love that is needed. If we all did this we would have a lot more meaningful and loving relationships.
What a great modern day love story, you could almost make a movie about it. Not many couples get to form such a solid foundation based on true love before they have actually met in person.
If we can learn to really love ourselves in a way that nurtures and supports us to be able to live in a way that supports and loves others equally, we have a solid foundation for going into a realtionship with another. From this point we are then able to develop and evolve together openly and honestly, and from here build a truly loving and intimate realtionship with one another. Lieke the relationship that you and Joshua have is just that and is super inspiring. This would be a really great thing to teach/share with teenagers as they approach adulthood and would no doubt have an enormously positive impact on the outcome of many relationships.
Everything comes back to love, and when we live it, to the best of our ability, it is reflected back to us….. the depth of love and equality you have for yourself and each other is beautifully shared in your blog Lieke.
I enjoyed rereading and learning from what you have shared here Lieke, thank you for your honesty and wisdom. I am again reminded of how important it is to appreciate ourselves and others.
Beautiful Lieke, it is powerful when we let go of the images about what relationships need to look like and are open and willing to be in a relationship with another based on true love, connection and appreciation of who we are, it is lovely to feel the commitment and playfulness which with you both live. Thank you!
This gorgeously puts aside so many of the beliefs we have about the ingredients for a successful relationship. Distance does not matter. Connection, respect, honesty and a willingness to be vulnerable does. Thank you, Lieke.
This is an inspiring love story. So many people hunt for a partner for so long over the internet to no avail. I love how this happened so naturally for you both.
To check the foundation of a relationship is so healing. Is it a need (emptiness) or is it to support each other to be more of yourself in the world (fullness)?
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” This to me Lieke is what makes it a true relationship, and not one that is built on ideals and beliefs and bringing our own agenda on how we think a relationship should be. Honesty plays an important part in developing any relationship, and I love the way you have used the internet to build your relationship with each other.
I love how you are both so open to exploring the depths of love. Sometimes this makes us feel uncomfortable because it asks us to express a love that we have usually kept hidden away from the world. But deep down this is the love and connection we all miss.
I’ve experienced strongly in my own relationship how much each person can help the other to appreciate their qualities. It can be sometimes difficult to see for ourselves what others see in us, and that is what is beautiful about life, how we can offer that helping hand to one another along the way.
This is so sweet Lieke and a testament to the depth of connection and love you each bring to relationships that you are able to connect so deeply via the internet.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” when you are half way around the world, when you are building a relationship supported by the online world it would be very easy to make it about what you talk about or indeed the image that comes back over the web cam. Your sharing here can be applied to every relationship, connection first. With that anything is possible from a brief meeting to a life long marriage.
Connecting to ourselves and holding each other in love, what a beautiful recipe for a true and divine relationship.
Reading your blog is a joy and so inspiring, thank you Lieke.
I love how you have developed the relationship with yourself, one of genuine love and appreciation – amazing qualities to then bring and share with your partner, and a great foundation for learning to take it even deeper together.
Lieke, I am deeply inspired by your blog and the way you have both committed to building this gorgoues foundation together over the internet. It really does defy the belief that ‘long distance realtionships can’t/don’t work’. You have shown us that by consistently connecting with each other with a love that is true, you have both deepened your appreciation for yourselves and one another.
I very much appreciate the honesty in what you’ve shared here Lieke, in regards to the ‘neediness’ you may have brought to relationships in the past. Clearly, your willingness to be open to healing this, and the way in which you have come together with your husband, has all set an amazing framework for such a relationship pattern to loosen its hold. Making the quality of your connection, your respect for each other and no doubt playfulness can be so deeply transforming. It’s inspiring that you both trusted this so deeply, and committed so completely. In my books, that’s what relationships are all about.
Reading and feeling the joy in your words Lieke, cannot but open one’s heart. And what an amazing foundation you have built with your (now) husband online β with the deepening in honesty and openness with each other, and the quality of your communication with each other being so foundational for you both.
To connect with someone with whom we can be so open, not hold anything back, and be willing to be honest and reflective with each other is absolutely amazing β the foundations you’ve built together in this way can only deepen with such commitment. This has been my experience with my husband also. Such commitment in relationship is to be celebrated and appreciated in full, and honoured for the willingness that you both bring to it.
It is really inspiring to hear about such developing and respectful relationships. The ingredients are simple and it is the willingness to ‘go there’ and be open and honest that is so fundamental. Thank you, Lieke and Victoria.
It’s so great what you say about the fact that you have had to hold yourself in love and not look outside of yourself for it. The fact that your partner is on the other side of the world has made sure that you are able to do this. What an amazing foundation you have for a true relationship full of love.
Reading your blog again this morning Lieke reminds me how important appreciating ourselves and each other is and that this is part of our evolving expression of love.
You know how we sometimes say that we should need a licence to have kids or being in a relationship but I feel that the process of getting to know someone like you have Lieke is your licence training. I’d say that everyone that is about to go into a relationship with someone should go through the process of truly getting to know each other first and learn about what love truly is.
I love the fact that you developed your relationship based on Connection first, rather than looks or what you do or know. It paves the way for a deeper level of intimacy and a stable foundation that cannot be rocked.
A commitment to love and at least respect builds a solid foundation for evolving a relationship further and deepen the love. How you have done this via internet is so different than the most dating sites on the internet play out at the moment.
Building our quality is key and basing our relationships on Love and true support of each other deepens our Love and appreciation of all others
We choose Love and Love confirms us from all angles
True – everything comes back to Love.
A very confirming blog that all we are and bring can be felt by all others even on the other side of the world
Being aware of our actual motivations to be in relationship is a great heart opener. Taking responsibility for these motivations is a total paradigm shift when it comes to the loving choices we make for ourselves and everyone we are in relationship with.
Distance is clearly no barrier for love – if it is true love and two people are open everything constellates for the relationship to develop and grow.
“I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person. Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself.” Just this is pure gold and applies in any relationships, near or far. Thank you, Lieke, it can never be said enough for all to be inspired by.
“Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself.” I love this, Lieke. When we enter into a relationship, having the space to keep developing our own self-love feels super important, and something to be forever deepening, bringing more and more beauty and divine reflection into the love that is shared between you.
Lieke, – you, your partner, your blog, your connection are all great inspirations that the world is in dire need of. You show the world that there is another way and that distance does not matter when it comes to connection and building a foundation of love. In fact, you can’t let the physical aspect ‘get in the way’ in the initial phase which is brilliant. Holy moly, I can just imagine the solid foundation you are building with each other, and individually, over the internet.
Lieke, your blog is so tender and lovely and just shows that an intimate connection can be made with anyone, wherever they are in the world. Yes, I feel that it is important to have that physical touch, but if a truly loving energetic connection is made then the physical connection can become a natural extension of that. This also brings to us all a positive aspect of the internet as we are so used to hearing about the downside of internet use. If used correctly and with integrity the internet can be a super powerful medium for connecting with others, expressing and sharing truth… not to mention finding potential partners π
A close, loving relationship is a great way to find out about ourselves as we are with a partner who wants the best for us. If things go wrong or we react, much of the time the issue is with us and we then have an opportunity to let go of an issue that is hurting us even though, in truth, it is not real.
A beautifully inspiring blog setting a new marker for true relationships and also reimprinting a lot of the harm and abuse that comes about on and through the internet.
Lieke – it’s gorgeous to read how you have developed a sense of self love from this experience of your online relationship. This shifts the whole stigma around online dating and shows that it is possible to have true connection. The relationship you developed was based on the connection which is so important and allows the physical connection to be much more full.
Being able to make the jump from an online relationship to a physical relationship is a great credit to you.
I like the fact your not letting geography get in the way of true connection
The first step in intimacy is the willingness to truly connect then the matter of distance is of little consequence.
How beautiful that you can so openly and lovingly appreciate yourself……. your love, appreciation and honesty cannot but be reflected in the ever deepening connection of your relationship.
Thank you Lieke for showing how the internet can be an amazing, powerful and supportive tool for connection.
‘Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself.’ This in itself is a true gift Lieke!
What I really l loved about your sharing Lieke is how you appreciate all these lovely attributes in yourself, as when you do that you can truly see them in another too, awesome.
And this proves again that connections can happen no matter where we are in relation to another person, energy knows no borders.
And I really love your openness in sharing this Lieke we all get to feel your experience here and it opens new possibilities for many, thank you.
“Past relationships were initiated from a point of need and finding a man that ticked the boxes and looked good too.” I guess many of us have been there and then found mostly it did not work like that at all. Getting to know someone from a distance first and sharing and really feeling into the energy of the exchanges etc can be a challenging way to meet and develop yet totally possible and your experience just shows how awesome this can be when truly embraced.
I use Skype to connect with people, some of whom I do not get to see them a lot in person. How we use the internet is vital, it can be used for great harm or it can be very supportive and a great connecter. I know myself, family and friends have really enjoyed being able to see peoples faces and connect in this way.
This is so sweet, open and responsible… “What I began to observe and appreciate in these daily Skype calls was our commitment to love, how we focussed on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about” A real inspiration of how all of our relationships could be, so often we blame others or react when some one else is reacting. ‘holding in love’ takes relationships to a whole new place.
Lieke I really enjoy all your sharings about your relationship. It has been profound to see the depth of connection yourself and your partner have developed over the internet. There is so much about the internet and how it is commonly used which disconnects us further from deepening our relationships with people, yet here you are showing how possible it is to use it in a way that can bring the riches of deeper relationships to our lives.
‘Past relationships were initiated from a point of need and finding a man that ticked the boxes and looked good too; this relationship has been mainly based on how he felt to me.’
It is huge to let go of the ‘boxes’ that need to be ticked and to base a relationship on feel. All expectations need to be completely surrendered. It’s beautiful to see what is possible when we open ourselves up to something greater than the limitations of boxes and ideals.
Your openness in sharing this Lieke is beautiful and inspiring. It shows how you share intimacy with everyone.
Relationships on the internet can often be about avoiding transparency, being someone besides yourself, but this story shows that we can totally be ourselves whether online or offline. True intimacy can be experienced no matter the distance.
Leike, you are breaking through so many ideals and beliefs about what it is to be in a loving relationship without the need to even live in the same country. This is a beautiful example of how building a realtionship from a true foundation of love can be, and is deeply honouring of yourself and your partner.
When we are truly connected with another and are open and honest with our communication it stops there being any form of complication, and your relationship is truly built on a foundation of trust and connection, really lovely to read, thank you.
Dear Lieke and Joshua, the photo says it all. Two smiling people, emmanating pure Joy in absolute harmony with each other. And with Joy I don’t mean happiness. There’s a deep and profound quality in the way you are with each other on that photo. Very much observing, very still and connected to each other’s Love first. There’s also an utmost respect for each other. That in itself is very rare in the world these days between Men and Women. From so many angles you’re setting new standards and offer us a – very needed – True reflection of a loving, evolving relationship.
Lieke van Haastrecht, what an incredible story, amazing that you guys actually got married when you live in different countries, the whole idea that a long distance relationship cant work is blown out of the water.
I have to be honest, it’s so rare what you describe, the ability to maintain love and commit to each other with the physical distance between the two of you, I just cant wait to hear if you write a second instalment. There is so many questions I want to ask…….like how your family reacted to the long distance marriage and if either of you are planning on relocating??
Loved the blog, maybe as your life together continues you can expand it into a Love Book, it would definitely sell well.
Gorgeous and inspirational Lieke -‘ I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person. Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself.’
Hello Lieke and thank you for sharing this love story with us that is actually real life. I loved and can totally relate to this, “What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” Because of the way your relationship is, this is your dedication. I find in any relationship this is a key for it to develop or deepen very quickly. Anything or any focus away from this true and deep connection just keeps turning you around in circles, a waste of time and energy really. Lieke, I found your blog extremely sweet to read, thank you again.
This is beautiful to read and is the way forward for all relationships, that is to be built on a foundation of open communication and love. By both parties talking responsibly for whatever comes up for them and letting go of all that is not love and honouring the connection with self and each other equally.
If there was such a thing as a soul mate, it appears you have found him, what a really wonderful story such great connection and appreciation.
We have a tendency to blame technology for the current trend of disconnecting ourselves from one another but this article is a beautiful example showing us that it is about our connection to ourselves first and then holding this connection while using technology to support us to connect to others more deeply.
Thank you Lieke for sharing such a gorgeous and inspirational blog. I love how you are setting a foundation of making the relationship about connection first and foremost and allowing the relationship to unfold based on this connection.
Your sharing, Lieke, is light, playful and joyfull. Thank you.
“I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person”. I love this in your blog Lieke. Without this love for ourselves we can really struggle in relationships and in general really. The relationship with ourselves is the backbone for everything else.
“I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person” – very true Lieke, i also learned this too….in the past I used to complain at times about the guys i dated, and what i wanted out of them, what they weren’t, like not cherishing, adoring, holding, understanding of me. But these are just conditions, demands and expectations that spoil the relationship to make it one of “an exchange” or “agreement”. It is not of any true love. The best way of any adored and enjoy an understanding and knowing love – is to be all this yourself first. And bring all this to the relationship, as you share with us Lieke.
We humans are all very sensitive beings and as you have illustrated so beautifully Lieke we can feel the quality of that connection with someone equally regardless if that is face to face, over a skype call or with any other form of communication available in this day and age.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” Lieke what you share here is key to any relationship. If we start from this place of connection first, then a solid foundation can then be built and there is the potential for a true relationship. Maybe the days of ‘courting and wooing’ your lover were not so old fashioned after all, but in fact have a lot to teach us about building true relationships.
In a world where more and more, our relationships are built around technology and the Internet, it is beautiful to read an example where a lack of physical proximity is no reason not to be connected to and building love with another person, so much so that being together feels not different than when you are apart.
So many of us can enter into relationships with a picture of how we would like it to be and then we forever spend the time chasing that picture and trying desperately to get the real situation to fit into the picture we have. In so doing we end up not appreciating what we do have as a situation before us, and at the same time we live in a frustration and a feeling of failure that we impose upon ourselves as well as the other. It is beautiful Lieke how you have let go of the pictures and allowed the relationship to unfold without and impositions or expectations.
What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know. I so love the feel of this statement and the potential it holds for us all as a one humanity.
I love how the start of your relationship on the internet has led you to bypass many of the pitfalls we can encounter when we first feel to be with someone. I am sure the not being able to be physically together may have been challenging at times but it left you with no choice but to deepen your connection and to truly get to know each other. I will take a wild shot and say many people who have been together for many years may not know each other as well as you do through the start of your relationship. It is a great inspiration.
Lieke what you share is how connection is the foundation of your relationship. Knowing each other as friends, in true partnership, openness and honesty. This foundation is what allows your relationship to grow and evolve, without it would as many of the relationships we see around us in the world that in truth do not work. The beauty of the connection that is possible between people can truly be felt in what you share.
I am learning every day that how much I love myself determines how much I can love another and how much love I can let in from another. Self-love is indeed fundamental for all our relationships. It takes away the neediness, that another has to fill up empty feelings we have inside or make up for hurts we still carry.
What a different way of dating! Not running of in all the exciting things you can do together and so not lose yourself in the marvel of the βdoingβ, but staying with building and deepening the connection.
Without connection there is no relationship. I read the other day that 20% of people in relationships do not want to be in them – which is crazy – how low have we gone that this is being reported – it means the figures are way higher as this is only what people admit. We have changed what love is and then settle for any slight resemblance of it. It is so inspiring to have couples now where true love is the focus and there is no compromise when it comes to truth.
This is gorgeous just how much you know and value yourself and what you bring.
‘I love people unconditionally
My beautiful smile melts hearts
My playfulness keeps things light
My delicateness is profound and deeply sacred
My eye for detail and order is absolute β donβt try to hide something from me!
I create trust in other people just by being around
My commitment is something you can count on.’
I love how you have so beautifully shared about the qualities you feel in your partner and then also the beautiful qualities you know and feel about yourself. It is quite amazing and a true testament to the both of you, your dedication to each other, to evolve and make your relationship about connection first, very beautiful to feel and read about.
Yes so beautiful. And not something that we hear as see so much of in society. Much appreciation.
This is a timeless article that is relatable to all. There is such sweetness in what you share Lieke, coupled with a wisdom that belies your years. Thank you
We reflect and inspire another consistently if we are aware of, accept and claim our own beauty. I love watching a man or woman who does that. The energy they radiate offers the stepping stones for everyone to be this beaming light and lovely human being we all innately are.
The start of every relationship offers the platform to build on. If this is a need, there is a totally different platform than when there is a purpose to evolve and expand together. Holding each other in love, no matter where the other is at and connecting to oneself before connecting to the other are crucial elements for any true loving relationship.
It is not only the relation that is amazing but the fact that we can develop a loving relationship without physical contact is a complete new concept for me which I have never experienced before. This shows for me the power that love has if we allow it to be fully felt and to choose constantly to make life about love and nothing less.
There is so much to say about what you share here Lieke, but what I come back to today is how you say “it just felt so true to be with him”. When you feel the truth of what you are doing it gives a steadiness and support that we search for so long in life, yet all the time we never question the wisdom of what we are choosing. Crazy!
This is so gorgeous and it is certainly very much about connection. I have been blessed to be connected to and work with a group of worldwide volunteers on the Voice Sphere (http://www.unimedliving.com/voice) for the last 3.5 years. We very rarely (if ever) meet in person, hold each other in love as you describe and with that solid foundation and commitment what we experience and are able to deliver is very joyful and often feels quite miraculous!
What I loved about your blog Lieke is that, normally when people write about a relationship its all about what they love about the other person, but you have written in deep appreciation and honoring of yourself as a woman, that is independent from you being in relationship. This is very important that we have young women such as you that model and reflect this level of self-respect and love for themselves, as there are so many abusive relationships in the world, because of the lack of this self regard.
Making a relationship about the quality of the connection to each other first and foremost feels very respectful and honoring Lieke, and having the time and space before living together to build this connection is an amazing opportunity to build the foundations of self love and self respect, to then bring those qualities together when you do live together.
Without deep self love and appreciation of ourselves, it simply isnβt possible to have a truly loving relationship with another. We can only share the love we have built in our lives, and cannot get love from the outside, as this is a need that is based on not being prepared to give ourselves the tender love and care we deserve.
Beautiful to be building a strong connection to yourself and self-love as a foundation to be with another in relationship Lieke, we ordinarily base our intimate relationships on our needs and ideas and images of how the other should be.
Yes, away from fixing up our partner, what Lieke has shared is the liberation that comes from taking responsibility for the quality we bring to a relationship, how much we can love, take care of and respect ourselves.
Many people would believe it’s impossible to have a relationship over the Internet. This can be exposing ideals about what a relationship is and what it means to be intimate with another. It’s clearly possible to develop a deep and intimate connection through energetic connection and expression. Physical intimacy and living together is just another expression of the initial foundations that can be set no matter how far apart. I’ve also personally found that living with another there is no hiding and everything comes up to be addressed, which can be a speed ticket in evolution and expansion as individuals a couple and as a family.
This is such a gorgeous article to read Lieke it would be great to have this published to a wider audience in magazines and Internet.
“You have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person”, what a great realisation to have come to Lieke. Your love then is equal and anything that comes in to impose on the relationship can be easily felt/seen and sorted out simply. You two are providing a counter balance to all that is not loving on the internet.
When I first started a relationship with my now wife she was often working away and we too communicated by email, messages on Facebook or long telephone conversations. We too have found that developing a relationship this way supported us to develop connection between us and a commitment to true communication – no opportunities wasted when you only have one hour a day to talk.
I love everything you share Lieke, by going about it this way you have built a very strong foundation for a loving relationship. Once a relationship has these roots firmly in place there is no limit to the potential the two of you have together.
Starting a relationship without being able to hug. I respect that very much because I find that all too often tension in relationships can be placated through touch, without the root cause of the situation ever being addressed or resolved.
A beautiful blog about true Love and a true relationship developed via the internet.
“What I began to observe and appreciate in these daily Skype calls was our commitment to love, how we focussed on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about.”
Yes very cute and sweet.
With so much undermining and bullying on the internet these days it is inspiring to read how an internet relationship can be built on a true foundation of love.
Lieke, I love how you show with your lived experience that long distance relationships can work when we are commited and that we do not need physical contact to bring it alive. It just needs our deep love and dedication, understanding and wisdom.
Lieke, thank you for so beautifully sharing how your relationship has developed through building a solid foundation of love, which allows you to question and examine anything that does not feel loving, ever deepening this foundation through self enquiry and support of each other.
Gosh that is so very inspiring, I learned a lot about true relationships from this post – thank you so much for not holding back what you felt and how you built such an amazing relationship with each other.
In the age where internet dating is a popular way of meeting a partner, the way you have developed a relationship over the internet built on honesty, offers a tangible foundation of how internet relationships can work. It actually offers a standard to all relationships.
I have always found it difficult to express true intimacy in relationships because I could never let go of the layers of protection that I had come to rely upon. However, I found that I could drop my guard considerably whenever the situation arose where I was presented with physical space eg if one of us was away on a trip. A beautiful and natural quality of intimacy would easily flow during our phone calls and correspondence. Reading your blog has given me an insight into the reasons behind this behaviour and recognising that this is such a pattern for me around true intimacy. There is no place or space for safety barriers around intimacy.
Thank you for sharing your very beautiful and tender love story which clearly demonstrates that true love has no boundaries β it can effortlessly constellate from one side of the globe to the other!
A very beautiful sharing Lieke, when we build a true connection with ourselves, and then with another anything is possible no matter where in the world you may be.
That point about not being able to resolve, or seemingly resolve arguments or tension through hugs and kisses is a great one. I know in my experience, if I get that attention, it’s so easy to forget everything else, only to find ourselves coming back to the same discussion in the near future. Completely resolving an issue and not needing the validation of someone else, is quite extraordinary.
Amazing Lieke. What a different take on internet dating – something I’ve been avoiding for a loooooong time!
You really demonstrate what it means to be in a true relationship. Creating those foundations and continually making sure you come back to yourself first and foremost is very inspiring. How quickly we like to steer our attention to the other person which so quickly results in a neediness that ultimately destroys any real connection.
What a beautiful story Lieke. It is so lovely to feel how claimed you are in your gorgeousness and appreciative of your divine qualities and therefore those of others. It seems to me that in order to meet and appreciate others we must first meet and appreciate ourselves as you have done. And that no distance of either land or cyber space can inhibit the love that emanates from us when we do, it can be always be felt.
A true and intimate loving relationship on the internet – this should make the headlines across the world. What a beautiful use of the internet!
Such a beautiful and inspiring sharing Lieke, your story is an absolute game changer for anyone beginning a relationship on or off the Internet. The commitment you both share to develop a true and lasting relationship is gorgeous to read and reminds us that our connection and love can evolve and grow with another no matter where we are in the world.
Lieke, my husband often spends months away from home when he is working, I have found communicating with him via Skype so powerful, at the weekends he is often around for an hour or so whilst the children take it in turns to talk with him on their own and take him round the house. I have been blown away by the space I have with him, it is like having him right beside me, the silence is filled with so much more than words can ever say. How blessed we are to have this means of communication.
Wow Lieke, so refreshing to hear about this blossoming relationship over the internet/WhatApp and Skype, I can really hear the energetic responsibility you are both brining to each meeting and the strong foundation this created for your eventual face to face meeting, with all the negativity around cyber relationships these days its a joy to read this, its truly inspiring.
Feeling this forever holding love created a trust in us both and allowed us to feel confident to be our loving selves.’ this can apply in all our relationships, knowing that we are all equal, that we can all be connected in the most loving way.
People automatically think long distance relationships will not work and that they are doomed to fail, but what you have described here Lieke sets a solid foundation for when you are together, especially as so much love and care has gone into your relationship from a place of connection first. Awesome.
Lieke its inspiring to see how true connections, true relationships can be built when two people are on the opposite side of the world. It shows that technology can be used for great purpose. It’s lovely to see you both grow in your relationship and have a very solid foundation, something many people take for granted and don’t build when they are next to one another.
Yes Doug, many people are wondering how we do it, and if I do not miss the physical intimacy. I always reply that that is not the most important thing in our relationship and that the connection and love that I feel when I am with my partner online or offline is so beautiful I do not think of missing anything at all.
What an amazing way to use the internet – to truly connect people. So many stories we here of fad internet dating, one night stands, meaningless arrangements – but this shows that if we connect to ourselves, then that connection is possible on any platform. This really is a beautiful sharing of how true relationships can exist online.
So true – the connection has to come from within us first and foremost –
If this is in place then the Internet can be an amazing place to connect with other people and bring love into those interactions.
I love the fact that you are busting those ideals that long distance relationships are bound to crumble. We hear of the collapse of them or the relief of them, for many need the space apart to be able to get on together. It is beautiful to hear and feel a true love story and indeed a livingness between two people who live physically far apart.
This is the true power of the internet – to bring all of humanity closer and more connected to each other. Rather than what it is often used for today – superficiality, showing off, abuse and humiliation which all ultimately push us further away from each other not closer together.
Holding each other in love no matter what you are going through or reacting to – what an amazing foundation to base a relationship on.
I liked what you said here in your blog Lieke that because of the distance involved and lack of physical contact e.g. able to give each other a hug whenever you want, that this has made you more aware of the energetic quality of your connection and the subtle changes in this connection that are occurring.
And then at the other end of the scale we have sexting. Fascinating to see the two such radically different uses (abuses) of the internet. Universal Medicine is showing the way.
Inspiring blog for our younger generation that can often make judgments or rush into relationships based on ideals and beliefs and the added peer pressure to feel accepted.
Just goes to show distance relationships can work. Connection does not need physicality to be held.
I found my wife before the internet and I knew what I was looking for and spent five years looking – wherever I could. The internet definitely seems to be a help here.
Thank you Lieke, basing all our relationships on what we feel, rather than ticking the boxes of what we need is certainly where it’s at! It may take a little time to recognise each “box” and let it go, but as your article so beautifully illustrates, it is so very worth it.
Very beauttiful ~Lieke, and super inspirational. What a beautiful way to get to know your partner and actually yourself.. Amazing opportunity you have taken. And truly beautiful to read how love is strong and once it is build distance(psyicality) can not spoil it in any way shape or form!
What I love is how you were both consistent in building this solid foundation based on love and communication. And how this foundation is unwavering online and offline.
Lieke, in this beautiful article you show us all how a true and deeply respectful and loving relationship can develop this way if the connection is felt at the beginning from a true knowing of yourselves. The trend nowadays is the quick response based on physical attraction and what was called chemistry when I was growing up, but both are physical responses, not this ability to sense all the other person is, without needing anything from them, from which a truly loving and harmonious relationship can evolve. Your example is much needed for all the young people who are lost in the confusion of what is expected of them by the culture and their peers. If no-one stands up and shows how it can be, then humanity will never understand what true relationship is.
The Chinese have a saying that goes something like this: βFalling in love is like a kettle on the boilβ which will inevitably come off the boil. The type of romance you are developing here Lieke, is where the kettle is slowly heating up and getting warmer all the time. With true love the honeymoon never ends, it just deepens and the love expands out to everyone we come in contact with.
Beautiful to read what you share, it reminds me of a connection I had with a woman on the other side of the world through facebook when I was pregnant. So was she and we shared about our pregnancies at first and then developed a true friendship that I deeply appreciate and honor. I love this woman to bits and we have never met in person, however I know that it will not be different. Actually come to think of it there are so many more connections I have with people on various places in the world that I work with through online programs and projects that are very precious to me.
Not being physically together gives people an opportunity to develop a truly intimate connection. Sometimes when there is physical intimacy people settle for that and do not go deeper and open themselves to be fully transparent.
Such a wonderful insight of building an incredibly strong foundation for relationship. With a connection based on the qualities you share it is totally understandable that whatever day to day things come up you have your connection and commitment to yourselves first and then this with each other. It feels so solid and real and a massive contrast to how many relationships start out.
A gorgeous blog Lieke and that shows distance need not be a barrier in building a loving relationship if the foundation is one of connection and comittment to love.
It is so powerful to read how you equally appreciate what you both bring to a relationship It is something i am still learning how to do.
Dear Lieke, you have so beautifully and tenderly shared with us the unfolding of true connection – it was awesome to read how you held one another in love and sustained a way of being there for one another that didn’t involve neediness. The feeling of honouring, integrity and respect emanate from you words – you are truly making your relationship one that is heavenly.
β. . . to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other personβ. Lieke this is so essential otherwise we place unconscious demands on the other to give us love in order to fill the emptiness we feel because we are not loving or appreciating ourselves.
In the olden days you didnβt just jump into bed together, a woman was wooed over a long period of time before she gave her hand in marriage. The way you are dating Lieke gives you both time to feel each other and test the connection and this lays the foundation for a truly loving relationship.
Lieke, the lessons you have learned from developing a relationship online could be applied to any relationship. It’s so easy when we first meet someone to rush into physical intimacy and lose ourselves in the process. What you have shown here is that it is possible to develop intimacy in a different way that is actually based on love. You have had to remain whole in yourself in order to communicate and express, and you have been able to build mutual respect and understanding between you. How valuable this is, and what an amazing foundation you have for building your relationship further.
Lieke this love story brings to light the fact that a loving, meaningful and tender relationship is something that can most definitely be nurtured from afar by a dedication and commitment to oneself and our connection to our own beauty. Coming back to this to build the love between you has shown me how we can in fact have a meaningful relationship with anyone and everyone through our own connection and expression.
So true, “I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.” Love is felt and lived, so if we cannot love ourselves we cannot love another. I am still learning to be more understanding and loving of myself, I can be hard and righteous sometimes, and this can be directed at others. But I can feel that it is there because I first do it to myself. Unconditional love with myself first, awesome to feel the potential of this in myself and relationships.
Beautiful to read of your responsibility and appreciation concerning yourself and your partner “What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.” Thank you for sharing so openly, a real inspiration.
Gorgeous Lieke, I love reading this article, it is so inspiring and joyful to read, ‘What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.’ This is beautiful, I can feel how often relationships are based on shared beliefs or interests and that the relationship can be very much about ‘doing things’ together rather than about connection first.
To be witness of such a tender couple coming together from different continents, cultures, languages, is a blessing. And you really set a new norm for what it means to trust. It’s not self-understood, that a couple lives this trust so naturally, not thinking or fearing that one might cheat on the other. Your commitment is fond and felt.
Itβs a new way to build a foundation for all relationships on truth and without needing something from each other, or is it just the re-birth of how we all were long ago?
This is quite the ‘Love’ story Lieke. Many relationships are born from how someone looks, what job they have or even the car they drive, all exterior attributes, which are not necessarily bad or wrong but often they are put above connection first. Keep the blogs coming on how this tale of Love unfolds.
In my experience, it is so easy to indulge in touch to smooth over any tension in a relationship. A simple hug can of course melt away reactions and bring it back to a place of connection, but at times we can use this as a distraction away from the fact that there is something to discuss or nominate in the relationship that may feel uncomfortable in the process. It is so interesting to me to be doing this, without the physicality and having to come to a resolve purely on communication and understanding. You could write a short educational course about it Lieke!
It is wonder how you and your partner take responsibility for how you have been throughout the day and what you are bring to the relationship by how you’ve treated yourselves. This is so important and takes the need out of the relationship. If we are honest about how we have been with ourselves, be in connected or out of connection, then there is no need to look for it in the other. I’ve found that just by being honest and talking about it can bring a connection back to myself and then I naturally want to connect with my partner with understanding and openness for how our day has been. It makes things so much less personal, what I mean is, we don’t take our partners bad mood personally when we are given the understanding and communication.
Lieke, the way you write about yourself and what you appreciate is absolutely gorgeous. I just received such a healing, like being in a session room, by reading how you feel about who you naturally are. It’s so important to take stock like that and I feel inspired to do the same.
Lieke it’s so beautiful to read how your commitment to love is unfolding such a beautiful relationship with yourselves and each other. Without the distraction of physical touch or fantasy you’ve both stayed committed to the quality of how you are with each other. It’s so beautiful to feel and to see how possible it is to develop a relationship in this way. The loving care you’ve both held each other in to grow without need has allowed a natural unfolding of a beautiful relationship for all to see. So, so lovely.
Your sharing is beautiful to come back to and read again Lieke. It’s very touching and heart felt.
Lieke, what you and your partner share shows everyone that the quality we bring to any relationship begins well before it is about being physical in any way. The intimacy, the letting each other in, that you have both so graciously built has come from your own ability and willingness to ‘be seen’ for who you are in return and together the preciousness and beauty of each other is what comes together to form the relationship. We are amazingness and purity, just as the stars above, and when we appreciate and confirm the loveliness we are within ourselves our relationship with all others is guaranteed to bring the same sparkle and dusting of specialness that we all deserve. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to hearing of your relationship development into the next unfoldment of living life together too! Enjoy all the learnings it brings you.
Your sharing is beautiful, tender and warm, Lieke and I like your appreciation for your relstionship. It shows that everything is possible, that there are no boundaries, when we truly come from our heart.
I love your account of how your relationship unfolded. It is a joy to read the qualities you have listed and your appreciation. It confirms for me how amazing we all are when we take full responsibility for how our choices and actions impact each other and choose to commit to express only love and great care for one another.
How beautiful to read about the foundation of an amazing relationship.
I really appreciate your openness Lieke, an invitation to all of us to stay open to all of our connections and the relationships that can develop from a foundation of love.
And the support you offer one another is truly beautiful and very inspiring.
I loved re-reading this today Lieke. A beautiful precious reminder to be open to love in full instead of holding to an image of what we think it should be…
What a lovely blog Lieke about a relationship that does not have an ounce of need in it. No tying your self in knots to please or perform with the other person. This article should be taken up and published in the teen magazines as an example of what a true relationship looks and feels like.
Love is amazing and finding a partner, in love, is even more amazing, especially when we are ready.
The tenderness and preciousness in which you write this blog Lieke is very beautiful. The way you have shared about your relationship with yourself and your partner feels so inclusive and has made me realize that the reflection of a true relationship is deeply healing for all.
Thank you Lieke, the beautiful development of your relationship from across the globe just goes to show that there is no such thing as distance when it comes to connection. We can connect just as deeply on the internet as face to face if we choose to be open and totally our self.
A beautiful and true love story. A true relationship comes from deeply loving and supporting ourselves first of all.
What a great foundation you started with Lieke, and from those strong roots you were able to develop your relationship more. Thank you both for inspiring evolutionary love.
Thank you Lieke for sharing this with us, it is very beautiful to feel how successful an internet relationship developed into and it is clear it is because you both held connection as very important and the need for intimacy for another and tick boxes of the ideal partner were let go of. How amazing to feel that true love is unconditional!
Gorgeous article Lieke, I loved reading this, ‘we focused on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about.’ I can feel how if an issue arises it is easy to get annoyed or frustrated with each other rather than holding each other in love, holding each other in love would allow the issue to be dealt with practically and for there to be evolution rather than each person taking it personally and things being left unresolved, people feeling judged and so defensive and there being tension in the relationship. Thank you for the inspiration Lieke, this is definitely something for me to work on.
What a great way to build a strong foundation of love. I have always thought that long distance relationships would never work, but you have proved that theory wrong, and what you have is super extra special.
A very beautiful declaration and testament about Love and relationships Lieke, thank you. In particular, your words here offer so much insight… “you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person. Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself…”
What I like about your beautiful love story Lieke is that you both made it about the connection first – perhaps this is a secret more people should try as it seems so much more supportive than to make it about looks or things we do or know.
I love how you both encourage each other to be all of who you are… which in turn you then bring to all your relationships.
What a beautiful sharing Lieke, thank you! And so it is as you have shown, possible to meet people on line and enjoy building a beautiful relationship with them. And in the process we learn so much about ourselves too.
This story confirms the fact that our current way of finding a partner just doesn’t work and isn’t what relationships are supposed to be about. We tend to have checklists where the potential partner is supposed to meet our expectations. This already confines the potential partners who you will be open to considering and may miss out on the partner who you will develop love and evolve with. Our checklists seem to come from ideas we have, beliefs about ourselves and relationships and the avoidance of past hurts. Not a foundation of love.
I loved that your relationship was held and fostered through the feeling of being with one another. I have had relationships where my partner felt very familiar and there was certainly a connection, but in hindsight this was often a karmic connection, one where a past disharmony was there to be rebalanced. Whereas for your relationship Lieke, I can feel that the foundation of your relationship was love and deepening your expression of love to yourselves, each other and everyone. This is what makes a relationship truly worth having and brings light rather than dullness and comfort to the world.
Looking back, having physical contact with a partner was one way that I sold myself out in relationships. My willingness to compromise truth for intimacy, allowed me to override the warning signs that would say, ‘This isn’t it,’ and kept me in unloving relationships way past their use by date. I had one relationship which started with daily phone calls for quite awhile. This laid a much stronger foundation so that when we finally met there was already depth and understanding there, without any physical contact to muddy the water.
Making the relationship about connection and none of the usual tick boxes feels like the way to go to have a deeply loving relationship. When we make it about anything else we can fall into having expectations of the other person or develop a way of being with each other where there is compromise or comfort.
What a great blog for everyone to read. Lieke this is awesome example for many in what true relationship building can be about when we put aside the romance, physical attraction and the ideas about how a partner should be. Holding them with love first and foremost is the foundation and then it is up to us all as individuals on the levels of responsibility we are willing to take in honouring one another in deepening the relationship from that point on.
“Past relationships were initiated from a point of need and finding a man that ticked the boxes and looked good too; this relationship has been mainly based on how he felt to me” – you raise such an important differentiating point Lieke, what does the guy, or partner, FEEL like, since we so often bypass this essential bit, and immediately go for the tick box first. Doing it the other way round, revolutionises and washes with love the relationship. Giving time to just feel first allows for understanding both of ourselves and the person too, which means the response is far more likely to be true.
Lieke I really felt the power in this particular line ‘What I began to observe and appreciate in these daily Skype calls was our commitment to love, how we focused on consistently holding each other in love no matter what we would be going through or, at times, would be reactive about’, if this were upheld in all relationships, be it with ourselves or others then we would return to love in no time.
What a gorgeous sharing Lieke to go into a relationship like this and hold each other in this way is very beautiful. It then builds a solid foundation to be able to handle what comes up in the relationship as you have learnt to make it about being loving with each other first.
Lieke, you and your partner have shown us what it looks like to truly want to be in a relationship that brings each other up, which naturally comes from holding yourselves with deep love and respect, otherwise what you have built together, would not be possible.
I love how when you met each other in person there was no difference in your feelings towards each other and your connection was strong from the very first day, because you had already developed over the internet a strong and loving foundation remaining true to yourselves with no holding back your commitment to express openly and honestly with each other “even when at times it felt very uncomfortable”.
This is so beauty-full to read and feel Lieke. The foundation for the relationship with your partner developed from your deepening relationship with self and that is truly inspiring for many people today. I too have been internet dating recently and have noticed how gorgeous it feels to meet other people from a foundation of self love and appreciation and this is reflected back to us in the way it allows the other person to be themselves too. It does as you say feel amazing.
Lieke, it’s inspiring to read as you and your partner developed your relationship building a strong foundation based on truly connecting, not holding back expressing with honesty and clarity you, have also deepened your own foundation of self-love and appreciation for your own beautiful qualities.
Reflecting back on how my relationship with my wife started it was similar to this at times in that we communicated by email and by telephone a lot of the time – this meant I truly appreciated our time together and this has remained the case.
Providing space for a blossoming of love without the usual derailments is paramount in us re-connecting to the innate love that exist within our inner-heart. Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to disconnect from the love that resides in our inner-heart.
Thank you Lieke, true love blossoming over the internet just proves that when love is shared it is love that responds no matter how we approach our own life, and that the love we are, comes from our Livingness. From a Livingness of love, it can only be true love, which has no emotional derailments.
Your photo says it all Lieke… the gorgeousness of you both can be felt in the joy you are with each other.
When we are connected to ourselves, we are connected to others – whether they are next to us or on the other side of the world. Conversely, if we are disconnected from ourselves, we won’t be connected to the person right in front of us, let alone someone in another country.
Long distance relationships take a lot of work β but what you are sharing is something more than that β a commitment to making the relationship about love first and foremost, in every interaction even though it may not be in the same room, the quality of connection with each other should not be different. And hence why when you met you felt the same with each other as you had over skype β because you did not let distance separate you. I have a similar experience with my mum β we live apart and she travels a lot and so we mainly talk over text or the phone. But every conversation is about love β our day and how we are doing, not superficially but on a deep level of how we are feeling and whatβs going on for us. This connection means that when we see each other it feels like we have never been apart, for in truth we havenβt left the connection and love for each other despite being physically apart.
When we make connection and love our first port of call, not much can go amiss. There is no distance between love, there are no barriers only space for each to evolve and deepen further their connection. With this there is no missing either because each is full in themselves with another.
Thank you Leike, for sharing your beautiful story of how committing to love first and holding each others in that love provided a foundation for your relationship to grow and blossom even though being miles apart, simply inspiring.
Thanks for sharing your love with us all Lieke. It is received and reciprocated.
I love your blog Lieke, so beautiful to read about the building of a relationship that is built on love and truth. Both of you are an inspiration to many people out there, who are actually trying to find a partner or are in a relationship that has nothing to do with love, but mostly with needs and expectations.
I can feel how you deepened your love for yourself in order to deepen the love between you and your partner β this is such an honouring aspect of relationship.
Lieke I love how you learned from previous relationships and made love – for your partner and yourself, the leading value. It shows that long distance internet relationships can build a great foundation for a relationship as it demands more honesty and less distraction when approached as you have done.
“Being in a relationship over the Internet means that there is no opportunity to give each other a real hug or something similar to resolve issues and tensions that may arise between us at times. So we learned very quickly to come back to love, as this tension and disconnection would make our chats feel horrible.” I like this Lieke because it encourages you to stay connected and to deepen understanding between one another. It can be too easy when we’re together in person to avoid and withdraw and bury the underlying issues which can leave an entry point for resentment within the relationship.
Lieke your blog is such an inspiration and very beautiful to feel how you have developed your relationship with Joshua from the other side of the world by truly connecting with each other daily in this way. It is a great refelction for us all, as relationships are more often than not built on a physical connection and ‘looks’, rather than truly getting to know someone first. To explore a realtionship in this way brings such potential to how a truly loving relationship can be and the solid foundation from which it can then evolve. Thankyou for sharing your experience.
Thank you Lieke for sharing your beautiful story with us. I could feel the joy flowing from your words the moment I began to read, right to the last word, and it is still with me as I think about the strength of the relationship that you two have grown together. You undeniably built such a strong connection between you that βwhen I met him in person, it felt exactly the same as it did on Skype.β To me these few words speak so clearly of the truth of your very loving and very inspirational relationship.
Your delightful appreciation of your partner and most importantly of yourself is a testimony of how deeply you honour yourself as a woman. Very beautiful Lieke.
“Of course we needed to find our way with each other actually living together like all relationships, but the foundation of love and respect is there holding us very strong.” This is so true Lieke, when couples start living together it can bring up things to look at that can be uncomfortable, but as you have shown you have both built a strong foundation of love through your connection on the internet that will support you both for the next step in your relationship.
A key sentence you share here Lieke which makes so much sense β “you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.”
In loving ourselves we have no expectations or needs being placed on others to provide love for us – it is all within and bringing this quality to another, simply and gloriously magnifies it.
Oh and I wanted to say – it is so beautiful to read your appreciation for yourself as well as for your partner. deeply touching.
I really feel the dedication you both bring to your relationship developing and how important it is to connect to yourselves first deeply and then share the same quality of connection with each other. Awesome.
I truly love how you two have come together and are building this relationship based on how you hold yourselves first – awesome to behold.
ps I love the photo it really captures your warmth and tenderness and the connection between you both! It is very heart warming.
What a great read, so many people judge internet relationships for being based on fantasy or ideals as your not in the flesh so to speak but with Skype you really are in contact with the person warts and all. It would be great to get your story shared out in the wider world as a marker of what is possible with the medium of communication when it is based on love and connection. Very cool.
This is so true Lieke – “…to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.” Anything other than this is laced with a need to get from another what we won’t give to ourselves.
What I am deeply touched by is the quality of this article and your appreciation of yourself I am very inspired.
The funny thing is: my husband and I found ourselves often more and deeper connected when we are physically apart but connecting via Skype. We have a date in the morning, an evening to connect and it seems we take this more seriously as our chance to connect this day. In a normal day by day living we let ourselves get away with superficialities and not expanding our relationship. When we are per Skype we are more aware of it. Now, when I think about it, this is not funny at all. Thank you for a great ‘to ponder on’ Lieke.
Lieke, what an amazing opportunity to learn how to base a relationship on love. As you say, there was no possibility for hugs or tactile comfort, so you needed to make a conscious choice to hold the love in yourself. It is just beautiful that this has blossomed into a full relationship, and it can be stronger for all the lessons you learnt along the way.
Thank you for this account of your long distance relationship, it feels very tender and sweet.
Online relationships are more and more common as a basis for starting out and in this blog you highlight how the foundation of this can be very much about the connection you build, not physical attraction. This is such a great way to take a relationship forward, as it feels strongly that how we start a relationship is very much the momentum of what will continue. Knowing there is not that option for physical intimacy makes for a willingness to explore intimacy through expression of feelings and honesty about what is going on for each partner.
Lieke what an inspiration for everyone, that developing a truly loving relationship is more than possible when it’s built from the quality of connection first.
Thank you for sharing Lieke, what really comes across to me is the level of commitment you have both put into developing this relationship with love and appreciation. I also enjoyed reading the things you appreciate about yourself and your partner – very inspiring.
Defying the trends of conventional dating and showing how it is possible to bring love to a media that is predominantly void of it (the internet).
“Above all, what I found so powerful in this relationship was that by encouraging each other to feel our own beauty, a beauty that was always there but that sometimes we did not see, accept or claim in ourselves, we have been able to offer true inspiration and support to each other.” On reading it again this sentence stood out for me as such a sound and profound foundation upon which to establish and maintain a truly loving relationship.
Lieke, this is a gorgeous blog, I love the simplicity with which you share, I can feel how in the past I was very needy with partners, always wanting them to make me feel beautiful, loved and adored, this would never last and I would be left feeling rejected. I have realised that I can love myself and I see how beautiful I am when I look in the mirror. I love to support myself and write in my diary things that I appreciate about myself, it is very beautiful to have this consistent, loving relationship with myself.
Lieke, I love this picture of the two of you and appreciate what you have shared with us about how you have developed your online relationship, with such integrity and commitment to love no matter what. You have shown us that distance is irrelevant when two souls unite in a true romance.
It is beautiful to read that true connections can be made on the internet rather than it being used for an escape, or to fill time. This is when I can fully appreciate how our modern technology can really serve in bringing people together and the positive aspect to our lives it can bring. The simplicity of two people meeting from other sides of the world through the Internet and forming such a strong relationship is gorgeous.
Such an inspiring blog that shows that true love can be found anywhere, but that it cannot be nurtured or lived without having learned to truly love oneself first.
Amazingly expressed Lieke and even more amazing to live this with you. Making all relationships about true love is an investment well worth its’ time and space!
I love how you included both yourself and your partner when detailing what you appreciated Lieke- was gorgeous to read how much you value and appreciate yourself.
The magic of constellations when we are open, ready and say ‘ Yes’ to our next steps, in other words saying a big yes to deepening and expressing more love with ourselves and then all others.
Such a gorgeous sharing Lieke, so very simple, clear and wise…. as reading through I could feel how connection and love has been the solid foundation in how this relationship was born, grown and developed. Thank-you for sharing your love with us all.
Lieke that is for me true internet dating – Thank you so much for not holding back such an awesome love story.
Love is borderless and reaches far. The way you have come together and have inspired one another to develop that sense of love we all hold but have not activated in full is also an inspiration to me. It shows me the power of love and that connecting to that is in fact what we all want and are looking for in our lives. The outer world makes us to belief that love is something that has to be found in others, outside of us, while the truth is that we have to love ourselves first and therefore have to rediscover that love that already is in us and to reactivate that way of being into our lives. It is all there, patiently waiting for us to be reconnected to, ready to serve and to make the world a better place for all of us human beings on this planet.
‘I learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.’ How true is this?
In any relationship the love is coming from us and so therefore the deeper we are connected to ourselves the more deeply we will naturally connect with others. Lieke you are an inspiration π
Love the foundation and appreciation the two of you are building. The fact is you can live in the same house for years and not have this as a foundation. It is beautiful when the relationship shifts from not needing another to appreciating having them in your life, because you appreciate you own life.
It is such a great feeling to come across a person and to know this is someone special.
Wow Lieke, how beautiful to see what can come from following one simple question that you feel in life. What you share makes it clear how the pre-conceptions and pictures we have in life, are like road blocks and barriers to the simple connection we can feel. Often we can denigrate technology as ‘in-human’ or isolating so it is gorgeous to see how you brought a beautiful quality to your skype chats. Now this is truly advanced and innovative to me.
Relationships have the chance to truly be relationships and not simply habitual co-habiting or co-dependency when a connection with self is built and shared with the other person, and together this connection has to be constantly deepened.
Our lack of trust in people and in relationships reflect the lack of trust we have with ourselves. The responsibility and antidote is connection first with ourselves.
A beautiful testimonial that relationships formed over the internet can be truly loving, it is possible with the connection to ourselves and to each other. So there is no blame that it is the internet or the lack of suitable suitors that love cannot be built from a true foundation, it all comes back to our responsibility to ourselves.
You have shown us how deep appreciation and a willingness to be real can lead to great love; and equally you have shown us how technology can be used to connect and confirm, rather than harm and separate.
Dear Lieke
Thank you for sharing your beautiful and extraordinary story with us. How gorgeous that you began with how you felt and developed your communication together as a foundation before actually living and being together physically. I just love how relationship is such a learning ground for how to truly love β our selves and another. At times it can feel like the exact opposite, when things flare up and become confusing, but what I am learning is that it is all a reflection of my unresolved feelings about life and how powerful it is to re-claim them and bring that resolve and clarity to the other, for them to be able to do the same.
Lieke- what a beautiful sharing of your unfolding loving relationship with a man over the internet.
When the foundation is based on connection, true love and not a need then there is room for blossoming and evolving in the relationship. Very inspiring read.
I love how you learnt to express with each other, bringing awareness and consideration to how things taken on in the day can affect the depth of communication and the connection you have with each other. What a gorgeous commitment to not settle for less and highlight what gets in the way of that…. A truly beautiful story to read of unfolding love and appreciation.
What a joy it is to read your story Lieke, thankyou for all you have shared. What you have expressed about putting love and connection first and honouring one another could really be the template for any kind of relationship. Very inspiring!
It’s interesting how we can let the idea of distance separate us – when actually nothing can impede on our ability to connect in full – except for the limitations and obstructions we put in the way as excuses for not connecting with another – and therefore remaining in ‘self protection’ rather than a deep openness and transparency.
A relationship based on feel, rather than looks or ticking boxes makes so much sense. I can relate to this in all kinds of relationships – friendships, working relationships etc. and it brings a sense of coming home with another, rather than building something new.
It is touching to read your appreciation of your partner and yourself. Relationships built on a foundation of love and appreciation are ever expanding as your blog beautifully confirms.
So very gorgeous to read. The internet for many people have been used to disconnect from society but here you are sharing with us what the internet can offer, it can bring true connection and love for two beautiful people on opposite sides of the world. This is absolutely incredible, so amazing to read and appreciate the strong loving foundation you both have built and your love for each other is deeply felt. Thank you for sharing this heart expanding blog.
“Past relationships were initiated from a point of need and finding a man that ticked the boxes and looked good too; this relationship has been mainly based on how he felt to me.” – this is gorgeous Lieke, and a complete flip from how many of us choose partners. The box ticking one is so common and we can then miss some vital clues that indicate that the person may not be right for us, because we have all our boxes ticked.
In the hands of love technology can be used as a true source of connection, which is lovely to feel thank you Lieke.
Lieke what you share is simple yet profound and when connection and love become the foundation of our relationships as you stated they become held by that love. So when things are challenging, it feels horrible but the strength of love makes us want to come back to what is true, that is our loving connection. It is like a magnetic pull. This is the power of love, it supersedes any of those things that get in the way from feeling loving with our partners. But this is not just about our partner relationships, but all our relationships.
I could not resist returning to your gorgeous blog, Lieke, I love all that you have shared. What role models you and your partner are in how you approached the building of your amazing relationship. This approach could be emulated by any couple who wished to build a true relationship, whether it be through the internet or in person. This could be the way to go for the future for humanity. The foundation that you and your partner built through building your own self love as well as the love for your partner is key to your success. It is so important to not be looking for a partner through a need to have someone. We each need to be willing to truly work in co-operation to help each other develop our love for each other.
As you have shared LIeke your internet meetings were built on connection which is the deepest aspect of being with another. When we connect there is an opening between us and in that we share all of who we are. Like you shared you do not have the physical contact, and it shows connection is much greater. Without a loving connection as a foundation the love is but a fleeting moment, carried by ideals of how our partner should be or we would like them to be, which is not love in the first place. Connection is seeing the person as they areβ¦Amazing and inspiring.
Those points that affirm both yourself and your partner Lieke are so wonderful and enjoyable to read, the depth you have developed and warmth too… And what stands out is they are so equal in their appreciation – you of you, and you of him. Showing there is no difference in your love, or subject to what many do in relationships which is to pedestal the other. What can be felt in your relationship is the gift of purity, love and truth.
This is such a delightful blog to read Lieke, it has a beauty and grace about it, i loved how you are able to honour your partner and yourself listing the qualities in both of you…that is love and appreciation.
Lieke this is beautiful to read and the basis for any true relationship. I share a similar Internet relationship with one of my family members who live across the globe and the intimacy and connection we have built over the years is gorgeous.
What an amazing foundation for a relationship, true and conscious awareness of what it means to communicate from connection. It is a rare thing these days, and this is truly inspiring.
Wow what a beautiful sharing and post Lieke, and what a difference to establish a relationship that is far beyond the physical aspects of it. Love how you are developing the connection via the internet, and expressing yourselves to be setting the foundation solid and true for the future.
I have often pondered on appreciating the gifts I bring and in your blog you have listed all you appreciate about yourself, I feel when we can identify the gifts we bring its an acceptance for who we are, and a framework for self love to deepen and relationship to expand.
I love the appreciation you have shared of yourself and of your partner, it inspired me to reflect on my relationship. I too re-met my now husband on Facebook (through our high school homepage) and share a very similar experience, although we live in the same country. The months of developing our relationship began with developing a true and honoring friendship which then we chose to developed into dating. To this day we continue to commit to hold love for ourselves first and each other and our foundation of growing through love and honesty together remains solid as does the highly respectful, deeply honoring and adoring love we share in our relationship, which is never without a spontaneous splashes of cheekiness and fun.
Lieke it is really beautiful to read about your relationship and how you made it about connection first. You can feel the gorgeous foundation which you have built and you offer such great support for how to make a relationship one built on love. It is very inspiring and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Hi Lieke – what you have shared is revolutionary and re-imprinted meeting and beginning a relationship over the internet. I loved your comment – ‘Being in a relationship over the Internet means that there is no opportunity to give each other a real hug or something similar to resolve issues and tensions that may arise between us at times’ – this has exposed how many couples may go to the easy fix and instant gratification moment where the couple can just want it all to be ok, to be comfortable and βkiss and make-up, only to see that whatever happened between the couple comes up again to be cleared. Making your relationship about connection first and truly being present to the other person and staying with whatever is there, is powerful and makes for a solid foundation. There would be no taking the precious time with the other person for granted. This experience is evolving and invites the opening and surrendering to all that is possible. Beautiful
When we make our foundation love, all that is built from this point will carry the quality of Heaven β our true home.
So true.
βI learned as well that to truly have an amazing relationship like this with someone else, you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.β
This is a great awareness Lieke. The key to an amazing relationship with another is in loving ourselves first. For how can you share that which you have not nurtured and cultivated within? We are love, each and every last one of us, even if we donβt always choose to connect with and express this divine light. As such, love is not something we can ever give to another because you cannot give someone something they already have. This is the clue as to how we have become so lost in our seeking of love and fallen for an imposter that has us forever searching out for that which already exists within. In this illusion we pander to an emotional love to fill our aching need and often expect another to give us what we are refusing to give (be) ourselves, in order to save us from the pain of living less than the love that we are.
Our love is an emanating light that belongs to Heaven and it is this light that we let shine out when we dismantle our walls of protection and give ourselves permission to feel our innate tenderness, delicateness and seeming vulnerability. When this light is met with the light of another, true joy is felt for it is a confirmation of our divine origins and the simple truth that we are the living Sons of our Heavenly Father. Thus our lesson here on Earth is not to seek love, but simply to be it. The light of the Son (sun) is what saves us from the darkness of all that is not of this love that has so consumed us.
Deep and wise Liane, in which you deliver so much truth. What stood out for me is the line: Thus our lesson here on Earth is not to seek love, but simply to be it, a timely reminder!
Absolutely love is in the being not the doing!
You have given us a magnificent example of making it all about love, deepening your connection with your partner firstly. I feel this is how we can relate to each other on a daily basis, after all aren’t we all in relationship. Coming to the understanding that we let the physical body and activities become the attraction and distraction rather that staying in connection, establishing the foundation of love.
It is a great example and testament to the loving quality and honest that you both chose to commit to when connecting and meeting over the internet, as when you met in person the was no difference, simply an incredibly loving foundation to expand from. Your story reflects beautifully how whenever we are connected to our essence, love is truly present and it matters not where you are in the world, as love knows no boundaries.
Your experience turns on the head the view that internet-initiated relationships aren’t built on a strong foundation because you show how a foundation based on love, truth and a dedication to working on the relationship as a daily commitment sets the tone for the way the relationship unfolds thereafter. Indeed this diligence, applied to any relationship regardless of where it sourced, is a great recipe for a healthy partnership.
Your experience turns on the head the view that internet-initiated relationships aren’t built on a strong foundation because you show how a foundation based on love, truth and a dedication to working on the relationship as a daily commitment sets the tone for the way the relationship unfolds thereafter. Indeed this diligence, applied to any relationship regardless of where it sourced, is a great recipe for a healthy partnership.
There is much to love, consider and appreciate in this beauty-full testament to love and connection. I love how you made it about connection first and then always considered the quality of that connection. This line – “considered how things that happened in the day may have affected our ability to express lovingly with the other” was quite stunning and an insightful way to live because that is the key to life I believe. To lovingly look at what is affecting our ability to express lovingly with each other and to keep it about connection first. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Lieke for this gorgeous sharing of your relationship. Through what you have shared not only is the love between you both is absolutely felt but also what is highlighted is that your commitment to love and connection to yourself first is what clearly supports your relationship to develop in such an honoring way.
I love the photograph of you both – says it all
A beautiful sharing Lieke and an awesome reflection for us all. It makes complete sense in that what you have built together over the internet has formed a really solid foundation for a true and loving relationship. So many relationships are based on sexual attraction and neediness which often is the foundation from which a relationship begins and then develops. When we make it about love first of all, and here I mean the true quality of love, not the needy type, then magic can truly happen. What an incredible reflection your relationship offers the world.
Lieke, watching you and your partner develop a deeply loving relationship from a distance has been nothing but inspiring. The deep connection that you and your partner clearly share from communicating primarily through technology dispels many ideals and beliefs around dating. I loved reading about what you both bring to the relationship and how you can appreciate the different qualities you each hold.
I love the things you appreciate about your partner and about yourself. Very inspiring to claim and share this with all of us. The power of appreciation in all our relationships is huge and something to be playful with and to keep deepening.
βWhat stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know.β This wisdom is priceless and changes the whole perspective of any relationship. In fact it is hard, even impossible to be in a relationship when the connection is missing. And yes chats or conversations feel horrible if you donβt come back to love first.
I met my husband 19 years ago in Australia. Soon after, I headed off for 6 months travel around the very vast country. I did not have a mobile phone and relied on reverse charge to his landline from public telephones. The distance was the reason for the absolute connection and understanding which developed between us – there was no physicality or need to get in the way – just a simple getting to know each other and enjoying that interaction. In this way, our essence communicated. This set the foundation to always come back to.
I love the foundation of love that you and your partner established and deepened with one another Lieke. In a way it seems such a perfect set up for the deepening your connection that you could not resort to the usual activities we tend to confuse with intimacy such as touch and hugs. What you have shared is truly inspiring.
Totally delicious to read Lieke. What stood out for me was the absolute dedication to connection, the respect for the other in bringing the quality of that connection and the deep deep appreciation of each other and yourself. Very inspiring.
The depth of truth and feeling you share is absolutely tangible Leike.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful understanding that true relationship can unfold when people are connected to themselves and committed to the love they are and be willing to be that love fully with each other. Also that the usual default of a physical distraction when there is tension is very real and I appreciate your highlighting the difference you discovered when that avenue of releasing tension isnβt available. Iβm a little in awe about the depth of truth that is reflected in your sharing, you have offered a lot to ponder on.
I love how you have shared your appreciation about Joshua and also about yourself, I have seen you two grow in this long distance relationship with a time difference of day and night not always easy but always choosing to stay connected. Your connection is the foundation of a forever expanding love living the future now.
Wow. This is simply beautiful. I feel I have come to a stop with the inspiration and potential of what you have shared here. There is so much distraction in the physical presence of someone we are in an intimate relationship with but your experience shows that even if it’s in person as opposed to over the internet, to make it about connection first throws the need for need out of the window.
I also know of another friend who has gone through exactly the same thing, recently met their gorgeous partner face to face and I donβt think it will be long until they are engaged. Like you and your partner, when you see them in photos together, the bond and connection is very strong and touching.
Lieke this is so gorgeous and I and many others have witnessed the blossoming of your relationship on Facebook so not only have you and your now husband developed this beautiful relationship with each other, but also with numerous others around the world. I also confirm your qualities and seeing you both together certainly melts hearts!
What strikes me the most about your story is how sweet and innocent it is, there is no calculation or trying to manipulate the relationship to fit into a picture or whatever we need it to be.
This level of letting go of control is very rare and a true strength to deeply appreciate. A great model for any couple.
After reading your list of what you appreciate about yourself, I look forward to the day we meet π
I love this Lieke. You have (and are) reflecting what a true relationship can be – one that has a solid basis of love. Intimate relationships are not about the physical but so often that is the focus. A strong foundation of love paves the way for all else that follows and that foundation is built with connection and a commitment to love and does not need to be based around physical intimacy.
Wow Lieke, I loved reading this, so gorgeous, what I really enjoyed was the list of things that you love about your partner and then there being a list of things that you love about yourself, very beautiful and it feels so true that without this deep love for yourself there would not be true love for your partner.
I love the connection you both built and the foundation of always bringing it back to love Lieke. When we are physically with someone, we can often use the physical touching etc to sometimes ‘get’ us by… as in, taking for granted that because we have touched or hugged etc that that is enough and don’t put effort into deepening the relationship on every level. Before my husband and I got married we had four years of living apart and seeing each other 3 times a year… back then there was no internet or texting so we wrote lots of letters and talked on the phone. It really makes what we say so important. Your story is very inspiring Lieke, thank you.
Thank you Lieke for sharing your love story. It is a confirmation that with Love everything is possible.
This resets all prejudices about online-dating and sets a new standard for relationships and their endless possibilities of expression. What is needed is commitment to love, this makes love global.
Your comment about the distance meaning there is a dedication to not let things fester is important. Even though you didn’t use those words I have found that not communicating means thoughts and reactions do exactly that so the next time you talk it is so much bigger. It is made worse if the other person had no idea there was an issue in the first place through the lack of communication!! It is much simpler to both be honest about what is being felt and just deal with it there and then, however tricky it can be, a dedication to remembering the foundation of love keeps it simple.
What a lesson in what is important and what isn’t. Thank you for sharing your story.
Awesome Lieke, that is exactly how to develop a true relationship based on connection and the feelings of love first and foremost not anything else. I agree with what else you wrote which was to continue to build that love in yourself. Too many of us get caught up in fulfilling a need that can override what your actually feeling, thatβs why love is needed from within to prevent the βwithoutβ.
There are so many gems in what you have shared here Lieke, but what really stood our to me was how important it is to base all our relationships on what we feel, not what we need.
Lieke, what you have shared – and how you and your partner are – is both absolutely gorgeous and so very inspiring. Thank you!
What a super sweet love story. When all the ingredients are there – a constellation with potential and a willingness to make your relationship about love first and foremost, you have both shown that nothing can stop this.
This is a beautiful sharing of what is possible when we choose to see the true essence of our partner and and together each supports the other to be in their essence and to live with it. This is to me true living, taking turns in being the rock that brings the other back to their truth and together growing in love and harmony every day.
Lieke, what a beautiful confirmation of your love for your partner and the many ways you appreciate him.
So many relationships are based on need and physical attraction without having a foundation of friendship and love first. I love how your relationship unfolded way before you even met, and so when you did meet, it was just the natural next step.
Absolutely gorgeous Lieke, thank you for sharing the love you both have.
Thanks for sharing Lieke, it is great that you could be so open and supportive of each other and really get to know and love each other without the physical side of things getting in the way. I can imagine that at times it would have been challenging but I love how with each other’s support, you were able to work on whatever was happening for either of you. Very cool.
Lieke, this type of relationship takes a lot of courage and commitment to finding love. You both have put a lot of dedication into finding and maintaining an Internet relationship that has grown into the love you have both committed to. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I can really feel and appreciate the commitment to the quality of connection in this relationship from the beginning through the internet forming the solid foundation on which the relationship has develop and can continue to expand.
A pure joy to read, thank you.
Strongly imprinting your relationship before you actually meet is unusual and it is lovely not to be bound by what is usual and to find your way in this relationship as it unfolds. Allowing love to guide you is inspirational. You both are so light and sparkly.
Simple beautiful to read Lieke and very powerful. It feels like to built such solid foundation of true friendship that even if you did not end up together (so to speak) you would have surely been great friends.
And I very much enjoyed reading your appreciations Lieke, I can feel the depth of your love in every word.
This is very beautiful Lieke, thank you for sharing. An example of what is possible when we make life about connection, true connection. Distance is no barrier to the depth that we can go to with each other.
Thank you for sharing – long distance relationships are made all the more possible by the internet, and yet many struggle to make them work as they rely on the physical interaction to reassure them of love. What you are presenting is it is all about connection and communication first – that building this in every interaction held the relationship strong across the physical distance so that it felt like no distance at all.
I love how you describe that your relationship is not based on needs and also how you have built your relationship through the internet first. This is really about getting to know each other first, instead of jumping into bed on the second or third date. Both of you are a true inspiration on how a relationship is built and the importance of appreciation.
You also debunk the ideas about a relationship over the Internet. Because so many of us have used the Internet to alleviate our loneliness, we can associate Internet dating as something for the lonely and needy — absolutely not the case when the people involved are comfortable in their own skin, connected, with their hearts open. Then the Internet becomes a tool to support more of that connection in a practical way.
Gorgeous Lieke, beautiful what you have claimed and reflect back to the world: joy and love in a relationship when we first claim this for ourselves.
Staying with the tension and resolving it is a great way to move forward in relationship. Whenever there is something that comes up between my husband and I, however slight, one of us will clock it and say something. We never go to bed on a tension! It sounds like you and your partner are doing the same thing here βΒ awesome.
Lieke, I love the tender, gentle quality you write of this experience of your relationship development on the internet via Skype. A beautiful way to re-imprint cyber space with a completely different quality – Love!
“Being in this relationship over the Internet has given me the ultimate space to deepen this foundation of self-love and not seek it outside of myself”.
My husband and I met online, but were fortunate enough to live in the same city. Still, our relationship progressed in much the same way as yours β a lot of what you write is familiar to me. It seems there is a natural protocol to the unfolding of true love.
‘…you have to love yourself in the same way you love the other person.’ This is spot-on. A relationship where you love the other more than yourself cannot be equal. And, it cannot really be love you have for the other, just a projection of needs, wants and hurts on the other person.
Principles of old with a modern day twist β I love it! Having said that, we have lost connection with the ageless values we all deeply know so it is beautiful to have them re-presented here. Thank you Lieke and congratulations on the building of a true romance.
Lieke, I love the way you have captured how simple love can be when we make it about connection first. Gorgeous to feel.
An inspiring read Lieke. The power of true C O N N E C T I O N first and foremost, stands out on this blog as a huge key for all relationships.
Lieke, what a gorgeous couple you both are. It goes to show what is possible when we let go of any ideals and beliefs and simply connect with other people.
This is a true marker of how relationships can be – based on love and connection first and then the physical connection simply being an expression of that love. Super inspiring, and here I was worrying about potential partners not living in the same local area, let alone another side or on the other side of the world! This says a lot for distance being no barrier to true love and connection.
Your blog is so beautiful to read Lieke, you can really feel the depth that both of you chose to go to and how you supported each other to the nth degree and made it totally about love. Very inspiring indeed.
I would like to see all couples to build their foundation so wisely and willingly and make it one of love and appreciation, allowing the time and space to unfold instead of imposing each other with the intensity of needs, expectations, desires and actually images of what a relationship should look like.
To consider that there may have been situations during the day for each one that contributed to being less loving that then only get recognised later when this plays out in meeting another person is very wise and sensible. Probably quite a few so-called relationship issues are actually caused outside the relationship like on work and are brought home as a lack of openness, protection, disappointment etc and therefore create a lack of intimacy and care.
Lieke this is so beautiful to read. At times when it would normally be so easy to hug or dismiss what is going on with each other if you were actually together, I can see what an amazing opportunity you had by Internet dating to actually truly deal with things that came up from a truly loving foundation. That doesn’t mean it’s confined to Internet dating, but it does make me want to stop and look deeper at the things that play out, my movements, right in front of me, which I often take for granted and do not take responsibility for.
I am very much impressed and inspired by your general posture of holding another in love and appreciation; this is huge and a shift from meeting each other in the expectation of hurt or disappointment hence being prepared to get hurt to knowing each other as the beautiful loving person you are and thus supporting an openness and joy to begin with. If we all did this the world would be a different place.
As most relationships are based on needs it is extraordinary how you and your partner have laid out a completely different foundation based on realness, openness and love via a medium that generally may be considered as impersonal. You show that intimacy is a way of being with oneself and another and not dependent on body contact.
I agree. This love story oozes deliciousness.
Lieke. This is gorgeous and thank you deeply for sharing. I loved your list about what you love about each one of you. This is so important to know and feel.
What you write, Lieke, is beautiful and very wise. Any relationship could be loving and evolving if we have a strong foundation of self love and appreciate ourselves.
You are a great example. Thank you.
Internet dating has been updated! Amazing that you present that love and support is available even through mediums such as Skype and email. Often I have felt distant, or anxious when on Skype calls but this has changed the game, thank you for sharing.
This Just was so amazing to read Lieke! Couples who make their relationship about love and evolution inspire me every day! I had never considered it was possible to begin a relationship from someone who lived across the world!
Leike, thank you for sharing the unfolding and building of your relationship. Physical meeting between two people is often based first on how someone looks and can override the true beauty one holds deep within. What you have experienced has been the meeting of the precious essence of the other and the connection is about who the other truly is, free of any of the physical judgments and comparisons that can get in the way. This has been very lovely to share in
Lieke it’s fascinating to read about a relationship that didn’t involve sex in the first few weeks. So many of us jump into bed at the very start of a relationship and the sex then influences so much of how we behave from then onwards. The sex also has a habit of muddying communication and distorting feelings. How differently would our relationships develop if we waited until we went to bed with our partners ?
Lieke you’ve shown the world that you can develop a true loving relationship online, that it starts with us first but that technology and platforms can be used for great purpose. You’ve re-defined love online. I am sure many people will approach connecting with people online differently after reading your post.
Yes David, and I have re-defined it for myself too! I never thought that I would have a relationship over Skype without meeting the person I was dating and building a relationship with. The deep connection, love and joy – that absolute joy we share together! – changed everything and it was just nothing like my ideals about internet dating.
I loved how you appreciated yourself and your partner equally so. Appreciating is something unusual in these times. But how powerful and necessary it is! I celebrate from here your union.
Yes appreciation is vital to live, actually I would say – just as important as a good meal! Thank you Inma.
What a beautiful relationship you have and share here Lieke and such an inspiration for everyone to feel, thank you. Making relationships about love first and foremost with the building of true communication and consistency with this is a real revolution and your love and appreciation for each other is amazing to feel. This also shows such a positiveness about the internet and the real truth and purpose the internet can bring to our lives if used with integrity and love.
Yes Tricia: “This also shows such a positiveness about the internet and the real truth and purpose the internet can bring to our lives if used with integrity and love.” The internet is in the end just a medium for us to use how we want, some choose to use it for abuse but that does not mean the internet is abuse. I found the internet can be used in a true purposeful way to build love and connection with people.
Lieke you are breaking conventions of ‘internet relationships’ and showing in a whole new light the strength of what is possible. I must admit I turned my nose up to internet dating as I felt the connection was not there – but the way you and your partner have developed love for each other and, the way you have kept your conversations consistent, loving and deepening just shows the power of communication no matter what platform – you bring the connection back to connection π
Absolutely Hannah. From the start I have said that it did not feel like a ‘internet relationship’ but a relationship that was universal as grand as the universe, heart to heart and that we used the internet to connect and build our relationship from the foundation that we felt was there.
Thank you for sharing your relationship with us Lieke. You’ve both shown here that commitment to love brings something more expansive than any continent and deeper than any ocean that is between you.
Thank you Lieke for sharing your amazing story. My whole body melted reading it. What a great inspiration you are about how we can develop a loving relationship with ourselves first to truly love others.
A modern day love affair with a timeless connection, this combination teaches us so much about how to build relationships Lieke!
Like this is such a gorgeous blog, so full of love and openness and honesty and joy. What a wonderful way to start a relationship, based on talking together from a foundation of loving yourself and one another β an amazing preparation for the meeting in the flesh .How the particles must have danced with joy!
Truly beautiful Lieke as you are. It is very inspiring what you write and you are setting a foundation of how to establish and develop a true relationship. I can relate very much with you, as I am sure many can, of feeling that instant connection when meeting one’s partner to be, as I did with my wife. However, we met before encountering Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom and our first few years were very stressful. It is very confirming to read of the depth and love you have established in your relationship based from and upon the principles of the Ageless Wisdom. I am sure that if my wife and I had had that connection with the Ageless Wisdom before we met I am certain our early years together would have been far more harmonious. Congratulations and I wish you all the joy that I know you will experience in the many years to come that you will be together.
Thank you Jonathan.
Lieke this is beautiful, and I love seeing the photographs you two post on Facebook. I especially love the way you have written here with an appreciation of yourself that is inspiring for many of us. Your playfulness and your beauty shine out from you in your eyes and your smile. Where true love is, distance matters not.
And you are married now!
Thank you, Skype & Internet for enabling and supporting this choice of living and celebrating a connection.
Having experienced an internet relationship I can say that it is no different to two people doing it the ‘traditional’ way, the quality of neediness and wanting another to be a certain way can still be there however in the online version much more can be hidden as when together face to face our actions, intentions and identity are much more obvious. It’s cool to read how no matter what the platform, you’ve brought love and connection into the relationship whereby face to face or across the globe it doesn’t matter as this connection has no psychical boundaries. And that when the relationship is built on connection first can we truly have a loving relationship. Thank you Lieke.
Yes Leigh “in the online version much more can be hidden as when together face to face our actions, intentions and identity are much more obvious.” It is basically about what our true intentions are to be in a relationship no matter on or offline. If the intention is true love and connection than it can be brought to whatever situation or platform, when the intention is not love than nothing can hide that either in truth if we are willing to see.
As my relationship with my partner did start in the opposite way of yours Lieke I have to say : wow! That’s how it can be. Amazing. We had the joy (and the task) to transform our relationship which was build on unspoken arrangements and deals to a real partnership of love after being inspired by Universal Medicine presentations and the life of many students of ‘The Livingness’. We learn to appreciate ourselves and each other deeply every day more – how wonderful to start a relationship like this. What will come up from such a foundation? Looking forward to hearing more from your journey.
This is a truly beautiful real story. It shows the world what is possible when two people choose love. Thank you!
Yes Eduardo, there is so much possible when two people choose love and commit to that with their all.
I think this is a great approach to dating over the Internet, and it’s amazing that when you met in person everything you experienced/felt from talking to each other was confirmed. Gorgeous!
This was so Gorgeous to read and shows a true relationship is about connection first and how this is always work in progress that when something is not right or either one is out of sorts to immediately come back to love and the known truth of the connection within. More and more I am hearing about relationships where one partner is currently in a different country, yet these sound more loving and connected than most couples living under the same roof. There is much to learn here.
Gorgeous to hear about how your relationship developed Lieke. I found it really interesting what you shared about how over the Internet there wasn’t the possibility to ‘hug it out’ or release any tension from arguments/disagreements in person, and that there was a greater responsibility to not create issues or talk in a disregarding way. This is such a great point – in all relationships if the ability to hug or be intimate to ‘cover up’ an issue or behaviour wasn’t available, would we take more responsibility for what we say?
Yes Susie I agree this way of building a relationship (over the internet) highlighted what quality we were in and the importance of looking at this and making this loving and honouring before being physically intimate with each other.
Lieke this is super cute, when you make it about connection first I find you actually cannot help but love someone π
Lieke what a beautiful reflection of what relationships can be connecting on the Internet and off it. True connection is connection no matter how or where it is done. Your story is touching and inspiring. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Lieke for sharing so beautifully your story. To be able to stay with our feelings about another person and not go into our head and disconnect is quite something and to find someone who has a similar commitment to this way of being is awesome.
Beautiful to read this Lieke, I know that people are often curious as to how a relationship that develops over the internet can work, and you have shown that it is all about a commitment to being loving in the interaction and staying connected to the other person and supporting them through staying in observation and out of reaction. I would say a relationship over the internet such as yours has a stronger basis for lasting as it is built on a love for the other person through what you feel in each other, and not on a need for physicality to cover up any cracks. It seems like a very solid foundation to grow a relationship from and this seems to have shown itself to be true when you met in person. Lovely to read your experiences.
It is so inspiring that you have built a relationship on how you feel to each other and made it about your connection first with an absolute commitment to coming back to love when anything else gets in the way. Truly re-imprinting internet relationships for all.
This is beautiful Lieke. It is wonderful how your relationship unfolded, and I can feel how you each had such a huge part in sharing the responsibility of making sure that the relationship was always about connection and love first. Very powerful and very true.
Thank you Lieke. This rattles even my last held onto picture of romantic love. Love is never a neediness it is a quality and you two show so beautifully how this quality can be chosen and cultured in every moment. What I can feel in you is that you simply do not give any time to hide in what is not love but embrace all the space of love to unfold.
Stunning….and inspirational.
Building our relationships through connection first offers us, as you have shared from your gorgeous experience, a wonderful foundation from which to grow and evolve.
I simply LOVE this blog Lieke. So inspiring to read both your appreciation for your partner as well as for yourself. The way in which you’ve written this blog is absolutely paradigm shifting in many ways. Already the start of the relationship where you both agreed on ‘building the relationship’ every day. I can feel what you’re sharing here and with that I feel that vast difference on my own approach towards relationships. The equalness and simplicity that this brings is beautiful. No more need to impress the other, win someone over, behave in a certain way, etc. Isn’t this what we all truly want our relationships to be? Thank you Lieke.
“No more need to impress the other, win someone over, behave in a certain way, etc.” I love what you are saying here Floris. In many relationships I see around me and in the previous ones I had there was always that little game of ‘does he really love me?’, ‘Does this act mean he loves me?’, ‘Do I have to do this to show him I love him?’ etc. What I learnt in this relationship is when you make the communication very open and express exactly how much you love the other person and not hold it back, there is none of this doubt, none of the game – just simple love and commitment to that. This creates the ultimate trust and intimacy in a relationship, for how can you be intimate in a relationship if you are still wondering if the other really loves you or want him/her to prove it to you?
Lieke, this is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us that magic happens even over the internet when we commit to love in our relationships
Lieke I love the way you were both committed to making your relationship about love, first a foremost. Love can be very exposing especially when we are not loving, and it can be all too easy to brush aside what is going on with a make up hug or kiss which doesn’t resolve what is really going on. Being honest with each other whether face to face or on the internet, builds a true foundation for love to establish itself..
Yes Alison “Being honest with each other whether face to face or on the internet, builds a true foundation for love to establish itself..” And learning this in the way I did in this relationship built over the internet has been very profound, no one can ever make us change the way we are with ourselves, we ourselves can only do that. Becoming aware of this is the biggest key we can find to healing our hurts.
“What stands out in this relationship is that we both make it about our connection first and not about looks, or things we do or know”. Now that is such a great foundation, it means there is no development of neediness in this relationship, it is not merely a physical attraction, but a much deeper level of connection between you both, obviously coming from a deep level of connection with yourselves first. This feels so beautiful and so true.
Such a gorgeous sharing, Lieke, and what an amazing relationship you have developed with your now partner. The foundation that you both built over the internet, which is so very different to the usual partnerships that are based on need, will give you such a wonderful grounding for a very long term relationship. The way you have both committed to loving yourselves as deeply as you do each other, and the honesty you have committed to the relationship means that this is going to be one incredible relationship, where you each grow exponentially along with each other, and helping each other along where necessary. What role models you are for how it is possible to develop a true relationship through the internet.
Yes Beverly thank you. I feel also a deep appreciation for what I have learnt from this relationship in this particular constellation. The physical distance just made it very clear that to deepen I had to love myself, as there was no one else there physically to relieve the tension I at times felt of not loving myself at deeply. Truly a blessing.
Like, love this. Thanks for re-imprinting internet (all) relationships by putting love and true connection at its heart.
I like how you have shared what you appreciate about yourself as well as your partner Lieke. Thank you for sharing how intimacy and love have no boundaries and there can be a deep connection to another even when there is physical distance.
Thanks, Lieke. I love how you gave yourselves the space to develop self love, which then deepened the relationship you were able to have with each other. You have showed us all that when there is a true commitment to grow and evolve together, the physical/temporal factors such as distance become less important, but the heart connection can be felt from across the world.
I agree Janet – “…you gave yourselves the space to develop self love which then deepened the relationship…”. Long gone are the days when the belief system had one in the grip of ‘neediness’, i.e. the belief in the need for another to ‘complete’ you, as though there was a dictate that one could not be whole by oneself first before entering a deeply loving relationship with another, and thus sharing the majesty and glory of this eternal love.
Yes Janet it has been a deeply enriching experience in my relationship with myself and others. I have learnt a lot about how close you can feel with someone on the other side of the world.
Your beautiful smile does indeed melt hearts, Lieke. As does this gorgeous blog. Thank you for sharing.
Lieke thank you for sharing your story. When I met my partner it was exactly what you describe, although we met in person, but it was all about connection. The connection we felt unfolded our true potential and is deconstructing step by step the images and expectations we are holding of how a relationship has to be and what our roles should be. Connection is the key to any relationship and to living the potential which is there between all of us to live the grandness we are.
Beautiful Lieke, what an amazing way to build a relationship, holding each other in the love that we are. And staying truly connected is so very important in being in a relationship.
This is a beautiful testimony of how connection leads to a deeper awareness and an openness to be transparent with each other and not to live in protection. Living life from this understanding let us live with the capacity to look beyond the images we are fed on a daily basis and we stop conforming to what is presented to us from the outside and live what we truly feel on the inside – the love we all are.
Thank you Lieke for sharing your commitment to developing a true connection in your loving relationship. It is very refreshing to hear of the internet being used to bring two people together when so often we hear about online abuse.
Lieke, you and your partner are setting a new standard for internet dating and how to develop a true relationship through this medium, a very needed endeavour indeed.
Wow, Wow and Wow. I feel that the point you make about not being able to resolve tensions through physical connection is quite revelatory. It can seem easy to try to smooth things over with a hug, a kiss or with sex, however, all too often these things are used to sweep things under the carpet leaving nothing truly resolved. Thank you Lieke – your story is incredibly inspiring and the love you share with your partner is also shared with the world.
Yes I was struck by that too Leonne – and in all different types of relationships we find our own ways of ‘sweeping things under the carpet’.
Yes so much so it is a wonder the floor boards ‘under the carpet’ can take all the pressure from the accumulation of what is only emotional love!
Thank you Lieke for sharing the beautiful unfolding of your relationship and the encouragement that love can be communicated through any medium, even something like the internet where there is so much vile abuse happening. You have truly proven that love is powerful and has no boundries.
Relationships are a direct reflection of how we’re going both individually and collectively.
Absolutely Alexis
If everything that was not of value were to dissolve, pretty much the only thing that we would be left with, would be relationships.
Lieke thank you for laying out your relationship for all to see, by doing so you enable us to feel the depth of what’s possible between two people. Even if a person reads your article and is already in a fabulous relationship, you have shared so much that there are many intricacies for us all to be inspired by.
Lieke, I so loved reading your blog I read it twice! It so shows that to begin to build a relationship with another you don’t need the physicality, you just need to be open to what is about to unfold and of course, a connection with each other. And as you and your partner have discovered, the willingness to deepen that connection comes with the connection to yourself. Your blog is a tender, gentle inspiration, thank you for sharing something that is lovely to hear, that a true connection is not about neediness it is about true love and supporting each other to grow and that you can have an intimate relationship with someone on the internet, and that an intimate relationship is more than physical contact.
It actually feels like a deeper relationship by developing the non physical first.
Lieke, what you are sharing here is so beautiful to feel and really re-imprints “internet” relationships in such a gorgeous way. I continue to be inspired by your relationship and its’ reflection to many others.
Absolutely Anne. What Lieke shares about building a foundation of love and self-love is the opposite of what most ‘internet dating’ provides. What she reflects is that there is another way.
Super gorgeous Lieke. Relationships like this are so rare over the Internet these days and I have heard countless stories of couples meeting only to find that the other did not meet the others expectation or perception. Wow, what power our relationships can have when they are formed in true love and an open, truly honest and deeply holding connection such as this one.
Super gorgeous Joshua!
Exactly Joshua, and I loved how Lieke shared that it was about connection, love and being open to one another first and foremost, instead of need, looks, and physical acts of love (which can sometimes be used to cover up dis-harmony within relationships). You two are very inspiring; you can feel it in your photos, in your words and in your relationships. You are a true inspiration to the world. I’m sure you can’t wait to live together!
It feels that you are setting the new standard for building a relationship and to me it is beautiful to see that it is based on love and nothing else. I learn from you both that love is unconditionally and without borders, I can let go of the old images I held about how to build intimate relationships, that there is a difference if you meet each other in real or via (e)mail correspondence or the internet. The love you hold for one another is amazing and with that you show that true love is in the connection between people and to feel the potential in each other from that connection, as what you say that it is βnot only about looks, hugs, kisses and the physical act of making love.β
And setting a new standard about the truth of how the tool of the Internet can be used.
Absolutely, Johanna. ‘…setting a new standard about the truth of how the tool of the Internet can be used’; this is a standard that is sorely missing in this cyber world of ours. Lieke’s blog is painting a magnificent picture, a revolutionary way of approaching relationships on the Internet that in truth should not be revolutionary at all but the accepted minimum standard.
Yes Nico I feel that both Lieke and her partner have such a strong and loving foundation about themselves that the universe naturally brought them together to develop one even more powerful one as a couple. One anchors the other and this amazing love surely encompasses all who cross their path.
Thank you, Lieke. This is an amazing story. A great example of what happens when two people who are truly committed to live love connect. Thereβs no need to fulfill, everything builds and builds on the foundation of love first lived with and for self. I look forward to hearing more.
Absolutely beautiful Lieke, thank you both for being willing to open up and share how your relationship has developed. What I can feel so strongly throughout what you’ve written is the simplicity that is your foundationβ¦ if it’s not love, and is not loving, then it is questioned, examined and tossed out. A powerful example of how it can be done, very inspiring thank you.
Yes great point Jenny. Relationships can often get pretty complicated but when you make the foundation simply that you love and commit to each other things stay very simple.
A beautiful way to be Leike.
Beautiful Jenny and Lieke, this is a great model for true relationship.
Wow I am blown away by the commitment in this relationship to building a foundation of love where both of you honour the connection needed to yourself and equally for each other. As there was no difference in the connection when you ended up meeting each other this sounds like true love rather than an emotional based love that starts off high and intense and then later drops off.
This is gorgeous to read Lieke, and is clearly the way forward in establishing relationships whether on the Internet or not. To have an openness between you both to communicate and explore how you are feeling, to be able to fully appreciate the other person consistently without letting so-called issues get in the way, is a beautiful way to be with another person. It truly sets the standard for all other relationships. Well done, and thank you very much for sharing this with us all, so we can all feel the beauty that you and your partner live.
Lieke, I love how you encouraged each other to find and feel your own beauty; this to me feels like the perfect foundation to a relationship, new and old.
I agree. The perfect foundation for all else to build on.