Recently I did the unthinkable – I put myself, my husband and my two sons on a technology detox! As I packed every device away, I literally had a lump in my throat and felt uneasy about what was to come. It had been building to this point for about two months – after our move to another country. If we felt lonely or had feelings come up that were uncomfortable to feel – like missing family and friends – we resorted to filling ourselves up with Internet, social media, TV, movies and gaming devices. I had found myself going to my iPhone several times in just an hour. The need to connect with people was strong.
I realised that when I was tired, stressed or lonely, I would go and turn the telly on….. ahh, relief…. I could lose myself in a program or movie. Even though I personally didn’t watch much TV, I felt the most desperate when I made the choice to take away the remotes.
Before and After Our Technology Detox
After the initial shock for my sons aged 10 and 11 (which lasted all of 5 minutes), they understood that it was something for us all to experience – what life was like without the distractions of technology. Before the detox, even with time limits they would check out on gaming devices, lack focus, be disorganised and have a fogginess. Once they accepted the fact of the detox, they immediately looked around their rooms and found things they used to play with. They played marbles outside, kicked a soccer ball, played with lego, went to the park and did experiments.
The first morning after beginning our technology detox, I woke up with a smile on my face – I felt an instant freeing feeling. Everyone felt amazing and so did the house – sounds too good to be true? Well it truly was just like that: everyone still had issues with the decision, especially the boys, but it was like this weight had been lifted off us all. Usually I would wake up and reach for my phone beside me to check something, even if it was just the weather! One son would get up and turn on a TV program and the other would join him or play on his iPod. I realised we were all literally hooked into technology in different ways.
How do you know what you are like with something if you don’t have the time without it to feel and see the difference?
We were able to see each other for who we truly are without all the distractions of TV, phones, gaming devices, etc, and hiding behind them.
The boys completed their homework with no pushing, were super organised in their rooms and ready for their day at school. What was very clear to see and feel also was that the fogginess that is usually there was completely gone – our eyes sparkled! We were all left to feel what our bodies wanted to do.
We cooked together and ate as a family, talked about our days and shared our feelings. We went to sleep earlier than usual as we were free to feel how tired we were instead of getting drawn into a TV program at night and going past that time when you really feel to put yourself to bed. During the day I noticed that without the distractions it was easier for me to have a rest and lie down whenever I felt tired.
Nothing was too much trouble or too hard to do. We really noticed how much time we had previously wasted focussing on things that didn’t have a heartbeat; our lack of connection to family and society became more apparent. Now if I feel to connect with someone I call them and say ‘hi’.
Since finishing our technology detox, old habits of getting lost in some form of technology still creep in, but with this detox experience allowing us to feel the effect on our bodies of the overuse of technology, we can definitely see and feel the difference and arrest it a lot sooner.
Technology OVERLOAD – Bringing Back Connection
Technology overload and saturation is so prevalent in society, especially with children and teenagers. Our sons say that video console games are all the boys talk about at school and if you don’t have the latest inappropriate violent game, you’re left out of the loop. Girls are excluded if they’re not on social media taking photos of themselves. This is in grades 4 and 6!!
What are we saying to others when we are always looking at our phones or computer screens? It can’t be that we are so important that we don’t have time to talk to others. As a result of our technology detox, our family was able to share how it feels when each of us ignores ourselves and each other when we are checked out with technology. I looked around and observed technology overload almost everywhere – friends, family, work colleagues and people out at shopping centres – nobody truly being with each other as they are looking at their phones instead.
Since this experience I have no desire or need to connect to others from behind a screen – or to check my emails continually. All I can say is:
The feeling of freedom to feel and think of what is needed next is so clear since my technology detox.
Technology is all around us and we use it every day, but perhaps we need to consider whether we are using it to support our lives or whether we are trying to get technology to give to us what we will not give to ourselves…
I feel it’s worth taking the time to consider and appreciate that we can still stay connected with ourselves and with each other whilst living in a world of technology.
By Aimee Edmonds, Vancouver
Further Reading:
Does Technology Simplify our Lives?
What’s right with this world?
Anti-Social Behaviour
1,004 Comments
As a whole the world has only really had social media like it is now for the past 10 years. This screen addiction in this form is still in its infancy but the results are already obvious when we look up from the screen and feel the affect it is having on ourselves and others.
Sometimes we don’t know how attached we are to something until we don’t have it.
Modern technology can become very addictive. I find it sad to see people taking the dog for a walk in the countryside but are plugged into earphones and oblivious of the birdsong.
Interesting word technology as it definitely has a purpose when used in a true energy and when we use it correctly so much can be done so simply in a short amount of time.
Technology is a tool that can be very useful but if we allow it to dominate us then it is very harmful.
What an inspiring thing this is. It would be so interesting to introduce it into any family home even for a day, to see how it impacted on the family unit. I dont watch TV or films anymore, and rarely use social media, but I am certainly very reliant on my phone to keep me up to the minute in touch with emails and messages. Very interesting as it wasn’t so long ago I found it hard to understand how anyone could get so hooked to their phone, but I have become hooked myself.
I love what you share re this detox and what it brought for all, what a lovely experiment; this detox would be a great idea for all families world wide to partake in, say ‘a world technology free day’.
Love it Aimee. The body does know what to do when we take away our distractions and I can feel that in myself too. Wallowing in my woes is a choice I can make and just not get anything done in a day but I can just snap out of that and when I let it completely go straight after that be busy with something purposeful and needed.
I know what you mean Lieke, going from feeling down and out to feeling connected and back on track as such. Sometimes it is as simple as asking ourselves ‘why?’ or stopping and feeling what we are getting out of it, then what ever we are using as a distraction is a nonevent.
This would be such a great thing to do once a year just to reset the barometer for ‘normal’. I often do it when I leave the country but rarely consider it at home and in my normal day to day.
Absolutely Lucy. Even leaving the phone at home for a day is like a reset! I find when I am really focused on a particular job I am doing or just being with someone, I don’t even consider reaching for my phone or flicking through social media. It’s all the dis-connect times that feed more dis-connecting with distractions… and we know exactly what to go to.
Technology can if used wisely be used for great good, yet too often technology is used to help distract us from a world we know deep down is not right.
It is interesting that with the constant drive for better internet connectivity around the world what is so often being lost is the human to human connection as well as the connection to your inner self. For me it is when I lose the connection to me that the downward spiral starts and I look for distraction on my phone or laptop rather than using them to facilitate whatever I need to do. I feel sad when I see people engrossed in their phones and not relating to the people around them but I know that I have often been one of those people and that I can now choose to reflect that there is another way to be.
I agree Helen, imagine if we put as much time and attention into reconnecting to ourselves and connecting more deeply with others than we do with getting better Internet. It’s super interesting to see how I write and concerned people get when the power goes out or the Internet connection isn’t working the best. It says a lot of where we place our values.
What a welcome turnaround of the world this would bring, ‘imagine if we put as much time and attention into reconnecting to ourselves and connecting more deeply with others than we do with getting better Internet’.
Thank you Aimee for your sharing, it reminded me of the time back in the 70 ies when my children were young we decided to not have TV in the home, like you we all related to each other so much more, the boys did their hobbies and went to bed early ready for the next school day, eight years on we decided to get a TV, and I will never forget the shock on my youngest sons face and body when he was exposed to what was on the TV. The bombardment with what the young are exposed to today, would have been absolutely shocking back then.
That says a lot Jill… and also maybe a shock of how much the TV got in the way of how you usually related to each other. What I find is that the TV is like a unwanted guest that we have allowed into our homes not realising fully of how it affects us and as you say, the bombardment of energy that comes through.
It is very clear from your experience Aimee that even when well disciplined, it is very very easy to get distracted with technology. The pull of distraction is very strong. A simple example is FaceBook. Who hasn’t said that they go on there to just look at something and end up on there for way longer than originally intended? Technology although useful is a MASSIVE distraction we can all get affected by.
I totally get what your saying Joshua. I find myself scrolling through Facebook and instagram just to see what is going on before I go to bed but every time I feel worse from it, not more connected. There is no connection or clarity in distraction.
Yes, I have every intention of just being on for a specific reason and finding myself down a rabbit hole! I have a deeper commitment to addressing this after reading this blog though! Let’s see how I go.
I recently had a friend share that their child wanted a particular device and they could feel how it was hooking their child in and the further consequences that would happen as a result of that. It was inspiring to here that the parent held what they knew to be true and in this was able to support the child to crack what had a hold over them.
That’s amazing MW, it would be very powerful and supportive for that parent to share with other parents their experience. Parents need to be able to talk openly about how they feel when they see their children hooked by something. As parents many of us tend to keep it close to home, thinking that we are the only ones feeling this way, yet, that is so not true.
That is so true, we rely on on technology to much to communicate with people.
I forgot my phone the other day and I could feel the anxiety of not having it, thinking I was going to miss phone calls or text messages and when I picked it up in my break time, there was nothing I had missed. Just interesting to observe this within myself.
Interesting isn’t it, when we bring honesty to what we are feeling when we reach for or rely on technology of any kind. This week my husband forgot his phone and that was a concern for him with missing work calls but what was interesting is that it also brought stuff up for me. Like, what about if I have to ask him something, or want to talk or find out when he will be coming home etc. all valued questions but within that I could feel a reliance on needing to have that information instead of knowing I was more that okay without knowing.
Technology like money can be used for a real true purpose or can be used for evil and harm.
Absolutely Elizabeth, like these blogs do!
It is great to stop and consider what we go for and choose so many things in our lives. Something I am realising is that we enslave ourselves whenever we disconnect from our inner heart and look outside of us to fill the void.
What a brilliant experiment Aimee. This is an example of true science- making different choices and observing their effects on our bodies and relationships. It helped me feel just how much I have used my phone and computer to check out and not feel something that may be coming up for me to heal. We already have all the tools for true connection with ourselves (like the Gentle Breath Meditation) and others, so it’s great to see that by unplugging once in a while.
Thank you Michael. I agree, we can gauge anything by our bodies as they show us instantly what is true and what is not, even if we choose to not feel it. This week our internet was down for a whole 24 hours and it was interesting to see how each one of us was with it. One family member couldn’t even imagine what to do with themselves, which was awesome because it revealed what has been calling the shots, so to speak. Another member truly needed it to finish work but got creative in working out another way how they would complete. Another felt how tired they were and simply rested and another felt space return again and it was a great reminder to keep checking in when it comes to being on a device of any sort.
Having the space to check in and feel where you and your family were at with their use of devices during the internet outage just goes to show how much we are supported by God in many ways and offered these kinds of opportunities all the time, even though most of the time I feel that we may look at them as an annoyance or hindrance. Nothing happens by accident, does it?