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Relationships, Self-Relationship 613 Comments on Exposing the Christmas Trap

Exposing the Christmas Trap

By Megan Cairney · On December 14, 2015 ·Photography by Megan Cairney

As I reflected on my Christmas experience last year, I couldn’t help but see that I had once again been swept up in the hype of the season. It’s so easy to do – the commercialisation of the season relentlessly pushes to entice, excite and enthral us at every turn.

In order to prepare for Christmas this year, I started to do some research.

I wasn’t looking for a checklist on how to make my house pretty or what the top ten bestselling presents this season were, I was looking for support on how to stay within myself and be more relaxed during the ‘silly season’ and not get swept up in the frenetic energy that comes from needing to get that perfect present, having a perfectly decorated house, being the best host or creating the best experience for guests.

But I couldn’t find one article that aimed to support this approach; everything I found was there to entice me to do more, to have more.

As I reflected further on last year’s Christmas time, I came to realise that even in scaling back and simplifying, I still had managed to make room for the chaotic energy that drives Christmas. I had hosted Christmas lunch for my family for the first time at my new home, which had the potential to be an amazing experience, had I stopped to fully appreciate and take in the loveliness of the occasion.

What was on offer for myself and my family was an opportunity for us to connect as individuals with no roles being played, just simply enjoying quality time together. It was an opportunity to learn about each other in a different environment, reflect on the year gone by and talk about our hopes for the next.

Unfortunately the full potential of this experience was not met as I allowed myself to get caught up in trying to make things perfect instead of just being there in my fullness, allowing myself and everybody to just be.

I wondered then if it was possible to hold the experience of Christmas as a time for sharing and connecting with family and friends, but also know that the fundamental elements which make this day special can actually be lived every day of the year.

Could it be that I could live openly every day with the people I meet everywhere?

Asking myself what holds me back from doing this, I realised it was a fear of being the real me – not the perfect host, or the perfect partner or daughter – just me. Christmas so often can sweep us away from ourselves, that we forget to just be us.

As I have started to de-construct my ideals around Christmas, and the belief that this was a one day a year affair, I have felt a new found sense of freedom. Instead of beating myself up and lamenting on the opportunity missed last year, I am grateful that I have been able to truly reflect on how it played out, where the moments/openings occurred that swept me away, and where I need to go deeper in my understanding of myself so that I can make different choices this year.

I’ve come to realise that Christmas shouldn’t be a festival we celebrate for just one day a year. Remembering that Christmas can be simply about connection and being comfortable to be the real me only highlights this more, as this can be developed anytime, anyplace, and with anyone. With this understanding I have an opportunity to have another go this year, as we start to build up to the busy Christmas period again.

If connection and being the real me is the name of the game, I don’t even have to wait; I can do that anytime I choose.

Inspired by the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.

By Megan Cairney, Relationship Manager,  BBsMn/BA, Brisbane

Further Reading:
Being Ourselves
What Christmas means to me?
What I Love about Christmas
Christmas Lies, Christmas Myths and the Truth about Christmas

 

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Megan Cairney

A charismatic, glass half full kind of gal living in Brisbane, Australia. A light and quirky sense of humour is matched equally with a caring, dependable and naturally supportive nature. I love expressing myself through fashion, hair and make-up; love to change up my 'look' often to match how I am feeling. Passionate about traveling the world and developing connections with people, forever deepening my loving relationships with friends and family.

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613 Comments

  • Mary Adler says: September 4, 2020 at 1:49 pm

    Christmas is celebrated at the end of the calendar year and is a time to gently unwrap and review the year just lived and to set foundations of deeper connection for what’s next.

    Reply
  • leigh says: December 17, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    One thing I notice more and more on Christmas, especially on the day is how as a society how we live creates the atmosphere around us. On the actual day the drop in activity levels outside drops so much it is tangible. I feel this early in the morning as well, compared to middle of the day. Or during a 2 minute silence. In cities it’s easy to see car pollution, but on days like Christmas it’s easier to feel the activity pollution we put out in our everyday movements.

    Reply
  • Greg Barnes says: May 1, 2019 at 4:01 am

    Reflecting back on the last two Christmases working for at-least four hours each year to keep the job ticking over did not tick any of the usual Christmas boxes but felt great in my body. The rest of the day was spent with family and friends with some sweet tooth so called treats awaiting to once again be eaten in the name of a little bit does not hurt but it does make the ensuing raciness apparent in my body and this is yet again a part of a now daily sugar fix. This has become an occurrence that does not serve my body as sweet things of any type not only cause a racy-ness in the body they keep me up all night peeing!

    Reply
  • Rebecca says: December 29, 2018 at 5:32 pm

    Megan, it’s really helpful to read your article and be reminded that it is how I am that is important, not how perfect my house looks. And that the important part is enjoying connecting with people.

    Reply
  • Helen Elliott says: December 24, 2018 at 7:19 am

    The best present we can give each other is to be open to connecting at Christmas and every other day of the year.

    Reply
    • Lorraine says: January 6, 2019 at 5:41 am

      Yes, connecting and enjoying quality time together seems a great practice.

      Reply
  • Vicky Cooke says: December 21, 2018 at 7:32 pm

    I have just seen more of what Christmas is .. the madness that is. It is the build up of tension from the year that has been lived wanting to be released! As well as the longing for the break because we are so exhausted through how we have been living.

    Reply
    • Greg Barnes says: May 1, 2019 at 4:13 am

      Imagine if we took all that time and money we spend on making Christmas special and put into every day with this same feeling of wanting to connecting with others became normal, and in doing so we eliminated all sweets that cause the racy-ness we see around especially at this that time of year-end celebrations so called. Then maybe we would not need coffee to keep going because of our exhaustion as we were no longer using an energy sapping artificial sweetener that always over stimulates our bodies and then leaves us flat needing a coffee to stay awake. No to all that and we would have True celebration that is simple to live in every day.

      Reply
  • Rebecca says: December 16, 2018 at 6:17 pm

    Megan, this is great; ‘ I was looking for support on how to stay within myself and be more relaxed during the ‘silly season’ and not get swept up in the frenetic energy’ I can feel that this could apply to many situations in life – where there is a lot of busyness around us and if we can stay steady in ourselves and not get caught up in it all then we can stay well and connected and not get mentally and physically exhausted.

    Reply
  • Vicky Cooke says: December 15, 2018 at 2:50 pm

    I can really appreciate that this year I am less caught up in the Christmas hype than before, I still am in this a bit with getting presents for people etc but there is less attachment to it and I am looking forward to this falling away even more as the years go on. This year I am more aware of the push and pressures coming from shops to buy buy buy it is like a buying madness being spewn everywhere enough to make anyone feel sick! What I love that you have shared here and want to do the same is instead use this time to reflect on the year and to reflect on what there is to appreciate and also what needs to change and will take inspiration from this ‘where I need to go deeper in my understanding of myself so that I can make different choices this year.’

    Reply
  • Rebecca says: December 5, 2018 at 4:23 pm

    I love what you are sharing Megan about Christmas being about connection and being ourselves, rather than getting caught up in the Christmas busyness. Great to read this as the Christmas season is starting here.

    Reply
  • Rebecca says: December 5, 2018 at 4:19 pm

    Megan – I love your honesty here; ‘Unfortunately the full potential of this experience was not met as I allowed myself to get caught up in trying to make things perfect instead of just being there in my fullness, allowing myself and everybody to just be.’ I have experienced this when I have had guests to my house and got caught up in rushing around trying to make things perfect, rather than focussing on my quality and being present with myself and connecting and enjoying everyone.

    Reply
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