I had an experience the other day that gave me pause to stop and ponder deeply my beliefs around expressing love to all, equally so. This experience exposed in me a long held belief that same sex couples are less. When I had this realisation, I felt such sadness.
“How is it possible to hold a belief for so long, that in no way feels true, loving and supportive in my life? How far away from my true self have I been living to not feel the hurt that comes with holding onto such beliefs?”
These simple questions led me to understand much about myself and have offered me great appreciation as to just how destructive a belief can be, helping me to identify the falseness in thinking that we are not equal simply as we are born to be.
I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person. My upbringing that saw same sex couples as somehow being less has offered me a moment where I can feel better than another person.
I know deeply inside that we are all equal and it doesn’t matter whether we choose a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. Yet the belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am, has been my trigger to having the thoughts that same sex couples are less than I am.
How absolutely horrible the belief that I am better than another, as I have had an opportunity to know two beautiful women who in every way live their love for themselves, each other and all others equally. So to feel this arise in me, I know deeply that it is not who I truly am and that it is simply a belief that I have taken on from others. A belief that I can now completely let go of in how I live from this moment forward.
What this experience has brought forward for me to consider is how any comparison to others is so very debilitating. And that for this to enter, in a brief moment I in some way allowed myself to be less than or better than the other person, whether they be man or woman doesn’t matter.
What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.
I am so very grateful that I have had this experience and am also super grateful that I simply didn’t brush it off as being okay. I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way. Living every day deeply feeling just how beautiful, loving and supportive I am, without wavering or falling back into any old beliefs that do not support this truth that I have connected to.
I feel that I am living my life from a whole new platform: that I have accepted in full that we are all equal and feel an amazing sense of freedom in this.
There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Leigh Strack
Love – The Missing Link In Gender Equality
“The Highest Form of Intelligence is Love”
Comparing Myself To Others
“There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.” The tension created by these ideals and beliefs becomes ‘normal’ over time, and it’s not until we let go of these ideals and beliefs that our body can return to its naturally harmonious way of being… and it is amazing how quickly and easily our bodies return to this.
It takes a great honesty to reveal to ourselves aspects of how we have lived, or thoughts we have taken on as our own that are not true, and therefore unpleasant to face. The love with which you express from Leigh is gorgeous to feel and inspires a deepening of honesty within me too.
Well said Giselle. Before we can address issues or beliefs, they need to be nominated. A lot of people carry ideals and beliefs but are unwilling to be honest about them and thus cannot look deeper as to why they are there.
This comment gave me a moment to truly consider how true this is, so many people do not even know how harmful their beliefs are to their bodies, let alone the harm that they cause to others. Pondering on this makes me realise how deeply hurt we are as human beings that we choose behaviours that cause such harm, and how much the world needs to see a different way of living. How much truth and honesty is needed in how we are feeling. So the old behaviors can be examined and if not truly loving and supportive, to make the changes needed to lessen their hold over us and eventually completely let than go.
Gives responsibility a whole new appeal! For years I held the belief responsibility was where I came undone, to understand my not taking responsibility was but a choice I was continually making began the process of unraveling the reasons for it. Our resistance to feeling the pain we’ve buried may be one such held belief we do not want to let go of, yet with the slightest release, the space that emerges allows for more.
Leigh thank you for your honest sharing ‘What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ It is great you name it ‘a learned way of living’ and that believing we are better or less is never a true way of living. The tension you mention distracts us so much we cannot even feel that love is equal and love is in us all, nothing to proof,because love just is.
Nothing to prove it an important point to keep reminding ourselves, as I see this as a point where we naturally fall into traps and try and prove ourselves whether that be at work, with family or friends. What ever happened to just being honest and taking responsibility of the way we are living.
Thank you Leigh for your honesty and sharing. What your blog highlights is that there are so many ideals and belief systems that we hold that keep us in separation and from experiencing feeling the true joy of the all.
Well said Donna – for me judgement is a marker of this separation. When my thoughts change and start to compare or judge myself or another I know I am out of my heart and allowing what is not true run the show. This feels like a wall comes up between myself and another which devastates the Joy on offer by way of a true and equal reflection.
Excellent Rachael, there fore true thoughts come from the heart. Walls of protection, and separation between people, well no true thoughts can come from that.
Absolutely Harrison and yet as we are not educated this at any point in life we walk around thinking that we are having our own thoughts but we are not. Crazy.
Thank you Leigh. This shows so clearly how easily and how many beliefs we take on when we grow up and then make them our way of thinking, looking at things, being with people. All those beliefs consciously and mostly subconsciously dictate and rule our life. What a blessing that when we are willing to unravel all these beliefs they present themselves to us and we can let go of them.
Absolutely Esther, we are ruled by beliefs and choose not to be aware of it. We make it our normal and hold on to it as it lets us sit in the comfort. The comfort we belief to be comfortable, instead of choosing to see and know how we are holding ourselves back from evolution.
Feeling lesser than another is a game I play so as to stay in my comfort and avoid taking responsibility for the work that I am needing to do…ouch.
Ouch indeed, building on my relationship with myself so I am in the knowing of what I need to work on is an amazing way to live which has supported me to understand how many other games I had and still play.
Spot on Mary-Louise! The biggest trigger in revealing belief-systems and prejudices is the fact that we have to admit we have taken them on. That we do have a responsibility for all our actions, thoughts, expressions and beliefs. Time to get off the couch.
Wow Leigh this blog would make good reading in schools and in fact there could be a whole subject area on it. What you have exposed here is that it is our hurts that make us see others lesser then us, we understand this we can start to heal the separation that currently exists around the world.
It is a wonderful personal revelation when an old ideal that has shaped the way we live is exposed for the un-truth that it is. Ideals and beliefs hold us back in life, block us from living from the true qualities that are innately within us all – and equality is a natural understanding when we embrace love for ourselves and for humanity.
That is the key Jo, the more I am reading the comments and commenting is that we have to allow ourselves this love, this understanding true love and embrace it for ourselves in full first and then of course it is something that flows from us equally for all.
“Yet the belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am, has been my trigger to having the thoughts that same sex couples are less than I am.” It is so interesting to see that through our hurts and feeling not worthy, we can take on any ideal or belief without truly feeling if it is true for us. This really shows that people who hold these beliefs are not bad people, just hurt and from there casting out hurt to others as well. This is a huge thing to see, thank you for opening up the discusion about this Leigh.
Agree Lieke, the more we judge others the more we are holding on to our own hurts. We are governed by ideals and beliefs that replace feeling who we truly are. The normalization of those beliefs prevents us from identifying them as such as our foundation comes from abuse and believing to be a lesser version of who we truly are. This shows how important it is to heal our hurts and live from our essence always in connection to truth.
No matter where we go on Earth, it is rarely seen that people are together in equality. Whenever equality is felt between humans, there is a deep sense of joy. This has become my marker and it is constantly renewed, specially when I visit Universal Medicine events!
Equality between us all across the board, within families, between friends, at the workplace, is barely nonexistent. The only place I have ever felt this truly and consistently alive is between the Benhayon family. They have inspired many by their livingness, and continue to do so each and every day.
I love that Felix, and this should be everyones marker! Why is it we settle for less than joy with one another? We have allowed our hurts to cloud our minds, judgement and expression, but contracting away from our own love is the most painful.
We have been encouraged throughout life to have opinions, to reach a conclusion. Perhaps it’s time to just allow people to just be without judgement and know we are all equally making choices and honouring each other’s unique choice.
This is so true Felix Schumacher, there is a deep sense of joy when we all hold each other equally and in love, after all, we are all made of it, so it makes sense to just let it be.
As is my knowing and understanding too Felix. We can say that we feel equal to all and believe that we do, that is not until we feel the absolute warmth and open acceptance bubbling up from within ourselves when we are literally standing in the equalises, no thought or belief present, instead the complete surrender to ourselves, with no holding back or any reservation do we know what equality actually feels like. I now know that it is only when we fully claim the beauty, power and presence that we are, completely embodied, that equality can be felt with another.
Beliefs are an extremely toxic and profound form of harm. We can walk around without a trace of a bullet wound or scar but inside ourselves we are holding this guard and discrimination, all the time thinking we are free. Same-sex couples show us every day that Love has nothing to do with gender, age or sexual preference but everything to do with a quality of tenderness, divinity and equality. To feel how this flows in your honest words is truly inspiring Leigh.
Yes Joseph, this blog and the comments are an important expose on just how toxic beliefs are, creating separation and making us ‘different’ rather than connecting to the universality of the love and tenderness we all have within us.
Leigh this is a super powerful post as it reveals how insidious comparison is and how such held beliefs keep us from truly connecting with love for all. Whether it is another’s sexuality, world-view or way of living, choosing to judge it in anyway keeps love from being a part of any of our life. Love does not discriminate, so how can we be loving if we choose to? I love the honesty of your post as it shows how easily we can move from who we naturally are (love) to accepting that which is not love, but that with this realisation we always have the choice to be open to coming back to the truth.
I just connected with how much I judge other peoples way of living, and felt the gigantic gap it creates between me and another – horrible. Like you share Jade, love does not discriminate, it just flows forth in abundance, consistently flowing out. Time to turn that tap on.
Indeed vanessamchardy there are so many layers to how I judge others way of living, what they eat, what jobs they do or don’t have, their emotionality or drama. The list goes on and on and all it creates is a separation from seeing and appreciating the divine essence in us all.
I have experienced holding on to false beliefs and ideals that have got in the way of loving all equally too Leigh. What you have shared is a great one to expose. I loved hearing how you have accepted the equality of all through this understanding. Thank you for your sharing.
This is rarely talked of Leigh and yet is a topic that needs to be discussed in the truth and openness you do so here. In truth, it does not matter what the relationship is, be it man to man, woman to woman, man to woman, the bottomline is the fact of whether there is true love their in the relationship or not. Love is not bound by anything of this world and is there to be shared with us all. It is amazing how many subtle beliefs we hold that cap us from allowing this simple truth to be our lived reality.
Thanks for your blog Leigh. A great example the impact that taking on the beliefs of others can have on our own lives. Eventhough in your body you could feel these beliefs were not true, by taking them on they “…created a constant tension to prove myself…”
‘I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so…’ because we know deep down that we are from and returning to brotherhood. Beautiful blog Leigh.
This is a very special moment to feel and be with Leigh. Feeling the love within yourself and the love in others no matter who they are, what they do or even how much you know them is very establishing and confirming.
I know that one very well, thinking that I am better or less than somebody else. It’s a game I have played for most of my life and I can still fall for it. It is enlaced with arrogance and a lack of self-worth. The moment I make the choice to play this game, I have lost my connection to myself, to life, to humanity, to God and to love.
Absolutely Mariette, it joins my old favourite pattern of right and wrong. Instant separation from connection and God. Why I still chose this is a source of frustration that I am learning to be more loving and understanding about.
Mariette and Vanessa seeing the beliefs that you have nominated ‘better than and less than’ and the equally ancient ‘right and wrong’ really makes them stand out as metallic structures that are super imposed on life by the good old friend to no one, the human mind.
Well put Alexis – ‘the good old friend to no one, the human mind.’
The moment we dishonour what we truly feel, we disconnect from our body and are instantly entrapped and seduced by the mind.
I have played into this too Leigh that is endorsing beliefs that hold some higher or lower than others. A common trap has been when I set my sights on doing or becoming something more than what I am, whether it be developing professionally or personally – I have found myself in positions time and time again that I perceive to be better off, but this better always holds another lesser. I see this as a cycle of how we can abuse our power, a cycle that constantly repeats, until we begin to become more aware of the fact that power is developed through equality.
Love this Abby ‘…to become more aware of the fact that power is developed through equality.’ This has created quite a stop for me this morning – power isn’t something I have connected to equality but I could really feel the truth of this, thank you.
Beautiful addition Abby, I can relate totally to the whole lesser and greater than game. Wanting to be more than you perceive you are, crazy when God looks at us all as equal divine beings just for breathing!
Yes so true Vanessa – how ridiculous is all of this in the face of : “… God looks at us all as equal divine beings just for breathing!”
Awesome Abby – “…power is developed through equality.” So true as ‘self’ becomes ‘all of us and everyone’ – and in that, true power can emerge.
A powerful and very true point you make here: “Power is developed through equality.” True power can only come from harmony and equality and acting for the all, never for self. What we call today power is more related to force and domination, imposing your beliefs and interests over another and subordinating what is believed to be less. True power is unity and leading towards unity it can never be separation due to personal or group interests that do not hold the all.
True power is surrendering to our tenderness and sensitivity and being the love we are.
‘True power is surrendering to our tenderness and sensitivity and being the love we are.’ This bought me to tears Rachel.
We can fight back and think we are being powerful and standing up for a good cause, but when we do this we fool ourselves as it builds protection in our body – creating further impediments to heal.
Yes Abby, and to hold oneself better also paves the way to feel lesser than someone too – I have found myself on the end of both of these sticks. It’s all a game to distract us from being all that we are, and it brings pain to all concern, not the least to ourselves.
Abby the power most certainly is in equality and the sooner we all start to embrace this truth the more harmonious this world will be. It is staggering the devastation that continues to build and destroy this world and it all comes back to the separation that we keep choosing to be in. Connecting to ourselves first and then with each other from the Love that we are is the starting point to uniting as one.
oh Leigh, the game of better than, less than plays out in so many ways. Finding ways to feel better than or even finding ways to make ourselves less than is such a trap. Before we even being the relationship we are not presenting as equal.
So true Joel,
In so many ways. It has been and continues to be fostered and championed in our world, making it a very real present energy that we can choose to live by. It is only when we feel the falseness of it that we begin to choose differently. A choice that I am finding I have to make every single day.
Joel, this is a poignant point – how often do we enter relationships, it being partner, friend or business, already full of ideals and beliefs about the other part.. and judging ourselves lesser or better than.
Absolutely Joel, the true humbleness of equal, is so great. In it, we can only see the grandness in ourselves and others.
Leigh thank you for sharing your realisation with us. Its not pleasant when we realise we have held incorrect beliefs about another or even a group of people, but its great you were open enough to question yourself on your beliefs. Comparison drains our energy, takes up so much of our time and as you say causes much tension. It takes us away from appreciating who we are and the gifts that we bring. If we accept and love ourselves, the more we extend that out to others and realise we are all the same. I know now when I judge others, its because I still judge myself and so its an opportunity to look within and see what I need to heal.
Wow this is a very important topic to write about and break down, as I read this I could feel that growing up in a Catholic church while I don’t ever remember anything specifically being said but it was more in the tone it was said and just in what was implied. I once remember hearing an adult talk about a boy I went to school with to another adult and they said “Oh did you hear he is gay now?”. I was just a kid but I could remember through the way it was said it was implied that there was something wrong with this. I am not sure where this idea of it being ‘wrong’ came from but I know it is heavily passed down through the church still.
Yes, institutionalized religion is all about right and wrong, but today’s society has adapted those beliefs and most people belief they are not religious, but they are following the same rhythm of living in right and wrong. Religion is the way we live in connection with ourselves and God, or the negation of it and it doesn’t matter in what belief system it comes it is always living in the right and wrong of the what is not, instead of embracing the what is and living from the equalness we all are. Then there is no judgment and comparison, because it is lived in its embodied truth.
Dogmatic authoritarian institutions that sell “religion” rely heavily on fostering separation – from ourselves, each other and from love. That tone of judgement you write about Kristy is one of the many weapons, along with right and wrong, guilt, shame and others, wielded by such organisations to foster uncertainty, comparison and judgement in its ‘flock’.
No wonder after so many lifetimes of religious autocracy we discover traces of them buried within …
We are so very refined in our awareness that something as subtle as a tone of voice or facial expression registers on us very profoundly. How clever and sneaky is that!? There is no overt disgust, no obviously negative words, nevertheless the negative connotation is delivered in such a way that we develop a judgement. It is really very insidious.
How many of these judgements do we carry around with us that we don’t even know are running our thoughts and perceptions? It takes something extraordinary to bring them to the light, not least a commitment to honesty as Leigh has shown in her blog. This is not always easy for what we see inside of us is sometimes not lovely, and not loving, and hard to face when you consider yourself to be an “open book”.
“I know deeply that it is not who I truly am and that it is simply a belief that I have taken on from others. A belief that I can now completely let go of in how I live from this moment forward” – this sentence really stood out for me. This is beautiful. I love how so clearly and lovingly you express here.
Me too Fumiyo – it is so clearly expressed and the loving truth of it I can also feel – so awesome.
Its a very freeing experience to get supper honest about what is holding us back in way of ideals and beliefs. Your honesty in going there with feeling what isn’t true in the created picture of what love needs to look like is inspirational.
Yes, very inspirational, and a great reminder to bring awareness to forms of comparison we may be holding – they hide in many ways.
I agree Leigh. It is very confronting when we suddenly become aware of a pattern of thoughts that we have held on – whether it is judgment of somebody or really any idea how things *Should* be that turns out not to be true when we look deeply enough. Dealing with the guilt and embarrassment requires a lot of love for ourselves and others.
Christoph this is a really important point you are bringing as it sure does feel uncomfortable and awkward when exposing these patterns and beliefs so much so sometimes you don’t want to look at it at all and deny in arrogance what it is playing out. Eventually when you are ready to look bringing a whole lot of Love and understand for ourselves is exactly what we need.
Thank you Leigh for being so honest and shining a light on the thoughts we can harbour about same sex relationships. I can say that I have had ideals and beliefs going down the lines of ‘there must be something wrong with them’ or ‘they are broken in some way’, but all this does is make me feel better at the expense of someone else, and lets face it any judgements against another causes a separation. So, I am all up for exposing these hidden beliefs, especially as they are so far from the truth.
It is so interesting how our beliefs allow us to judge others as less than us just in order to bolster ourselves up to feel better about ourselves. Indeed it can only cause a separation and reinforce our own identification with who we think we are.
Gorgeous Leigh. ‘There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so’ – this is beautifully put, and it really does feel like an ‘allowing’ when we open up to others because when we hold them as less, feel frustrated, angry, upset, impatient or spiteful towards others we create a MASSIVE tension in our own bodies. We are designed to love all others equally, because they are made from the exact same stuff we are.
Great point Susie, “we are designed to love all others equally, because they are made from the exact same stuff as we are”. It is insidious how we are looking for separating aspects, such as gender, age, sexual orientation, origen, nationality, capabilities, assets, etc. to build us an identity that suits the need to feel being more than another, when in truth we are all the same and like in a theatre play we are just changing roles and outfits each time we come back to earth and enter the cycle of life again. The absurdity of culture, nationality, sexual orientation, institutionalized religion, gender, etc. would be truly exposed when we would embrace the true cycle of life and reincarnation.
Yes Susie what Leigh has written is spot on. It makes no sense what so ever to put someone above us or below us but the insane thing is most of us have been brought up to look out to compare so the way we can go with this is creating a lesser or higher way of communicating with people. I know when I have done this and that’s most of my life and I still see it creep in occasionally it makes me feel a lot less powerful than who I am naturally when I am All that I am. To know and live this abundance of this is more than I will ever need.
I so agree Susie, what you have said here is so true. When we hold others as less, which is such a great point around the emotions that can come up – feeling frustrated, angry, upset, impatient – these can come up many times throughout the day. But we can just rationalise them out of the way, but if we actually look at it that we are holding others as less when we get like this, it can change the whole tone it. Plus as you are saying the tension that this creates in our body is huge. It is about bringing understanding, but also learning to bring that understanding to oneself. I am finding the more understanding I can bring myself, the ‘allowing’ and accepting of others is far greater.
Leigh thank you for sharing, as I read through your post I could feel different areas where I may compare how I am to people, what they are or are not doing etc.. All of this time cutting out the truth. What I also find is that whilst over the years I know in my head that everyone is the same, that love is not about gender but a quality that is naturally there if we allow it – between everyone – there are many instances when I will still hold the love between certain people as more than others. In your examples its clear that if I compare one picture to another then I miss the true essence that is there to be felt, when i stop and feel that – then gender plays no part in the quality of love that can be shared and expressed.
For me too, identifying my personal differences in how I feel about people is on going. Choosing each day to be connected to my essence and body as much as I can is the greatest support in the process, for it is deeply felt now when I hold back my love.
I agree Leigh, it is not a nice feeling in the body to hold back the natural connection to ourselves and others equally. I can feel your commitment in this, which is gorgeus.
Wow Leigh, I love this article, I can feel how I have so often held myself as less than another and how this then stops a loving connection with that person, this is changing now as I have more confidence and appreciation in myself, when I meet another equally this feels so much more lovely and true.
What an awesome honesty and awareness you have Leigh. When you write “What this experience has brought forward for me to consider is how any comparison to others is so very debilitating. And that for this to enter, in a brief moment I in some way allowed myself to be less than or better than the other person, whether they be man or woman doesn’t matter.” I know this is huge, and am going to take this with me today and ponder on it deeply.
Deep rooted beliefs are indeed destructive and when the awareness of them is felt in the body we actually get a shock because we know that they are not ours, they never were but somewhere along the way we lost ourselves a little bit and the belief served to make us feel something that we thought we needed. It’s really inspiring to read how your appreciation of the innate love that you are has brought these destructive belief into a complete healing in your heart. Thank you Leigh for your sharing.
Where do these beliefs come from that are not ours? And how many of them do we have that we are not conscious about? What I loved here is when you felt the belief you didn’t just dismiss it but looked at it; and you didn’t ‘beat yourself up’ over having it but instead after feeling it, chose to let it go and then appreciate and deepen your love for yourself even more.
yes beautifully put Vicky – that is what will make the difference :”…choose to let it go and then appreciate and deepen your love for yourself even more.”
Yes Vicky choosing to look at our past beliefs and hurts and letting them go as they no longer hold us in love is an awesome way to be. It is so beautifully highlighted by Leigh in this blog. The level of love we hold is huge and when we let go of our past hurts and beliefs, that’s where the magic is unleashed.
It is so important to bring awareness to our beliefs without the judgement, how otherwise can we let go of having to defend and act on our beliefs as if we are so right.
Leigh it is so incredibly honest of you to admit that this is a belief that you have held. We all know deep down that everyone is equal, so it is very sad that we take on beliefs and ideals that separate us from this knowing and instead opt for ways of being that help us to feel better about ourselves. By sharing this you will be helping others to uncover any beliefs that still exist even in the smallest way that stop us all from connecting as equal human beings.
“Opting for ways of being that help us to feel better about ourselves.” The very fact that this reality is present is testament that the way we have lived is a long way from our truth. Why do we need to feel better about ourselves when we are so amazingly beautiful within?
Great question Leigh-“Why do we need to feel better about ourselves when we are so amazingly beautiful within?” Why indeed, what has come in to make us belief that we are anything but this gorgeous loving being within? Time to kick that out and reconnect and live who we truly are, in all that we are and bring.
A great question, Leigh. Wanting to be better means not feeling enough. This sets us off to a constant pursuit where comparison and jealousy play an integral part.
“This experience exposed in me a long held belief that same sex couples are less”. Thank you Leigh for writing about this subject! This is a very strong belief in our society that which i am also not completly free of. But time to let go of it fully.
One of my dearest friend is gay and the way he is living with his partner is a deep inspiration to commit and be love.
Absolutely Janina – holding homosexual couples as less/’inferior’ to straight couples is a very widespread belief, but not talked about very often at all! I notice in school how there is still a lot of homophobic bullying, as well as racist bullying but both of these topics are seen as ‘not that big of a deal’ by teachers… Interesting how easily things get swept under the rug when they aren’t talked about.
So true Susie, when we dont talk about the prejudice in the moment we give our allowance or silence agreement that it is okay to talk or put another down for their differences.
Wow, Susie – thanks for the reality check as it shows me we have a long way to go when being gay is still being used as a school yard taunt in England as it speaks for the generations of adults to come. Add to this the many countries (at least 80) in the world where homosexuality is illegal and then many more where it is not illegal but culturally shunned. Leigh your blog is a great example of how unnatural it is to hold homosexual couple as less when the belief is seen as one that has been given to us and not from our hearts.
Is it possible that the bullying you describe Susie is ranked – that is this school yard talk is not really harming so it gets pushed down the line. This does not excuse it but more highlights the fact that even instances of abuse are judged and compared with perceived greater levels of abuse and thus dismissed. The two fold effect is that then there is a lack of true guidance for those displaying the behaviour and a doubly sad confirmation that it is okay by the adult world to play at this level. The long term effects for all are seen in society today.
It is sad Susie that there “is still a lot of homophobic bullying, as well as racist bullying” in school and it is even sadder that “these topics are seen as ‘not that big of a deal’ by teachers.” Some teachers are really not good role models as is our society. It is really time that we all get started to talk more about these topics as it is so much easier to sweep them under the rug. Therefore I love it that Leigh was writing about this topic, she brought it back to the surface.
The quality of a relationship is not measurable by gender, race, age, culture, religion, nationality or anything outside of the one which truly matters – and this is and always was the love our hearts emanate and receive.
Beautifully said, Sonja!
Leigh, it is brilliant that you had the realisation that the energy of comparison is not truly coming from you in your essence. That way you can say no to the energy and begin to make changes. We know in our hearts that we are all equal and the same in love, and it is only our minds, filled with ideals and beliefs that like to take us away from the love that we are, but once we truly begin to appreciate and love ourselves then we naturally love all others equally, and recognising the signs that take us away from ourselves is awesome, a great marker to work from.
We have such an investment into being individual, stand out and want to be seen for our creations but as you say Sandra it needs ideals and believes to form this illusion, because in truth we are all equal and cannot change the fact, we can only ignore it.
Great honest post Leigh, the comparisons and assumptions we have or make up or have ideas and beliefs about all types of people are just kicked way out of the park when we connect to the fact that we are all just the same. Being brought up in the religion and time and place I was from even the word homosexual was a bad word. Looking back its hard to believe some people thought the way they did and still do.
It’s true Kevin, when we have a deep understanding of the true equality of our fellow man, it is hard to understand how people are so deeply entrenched in their belief systems that they are unable to entertain even for a moment that there is a deeper level of understanding available that frees them from the tight restraints that they live their lives within.
Very beautifully expressed Kevin. We are indeed all the same, I wonder why we live in a world that is determined to classify and separate us? One could only wonder that their are forces at play that like to feed the separation as true power comes from when we all unite, I guess that is where the saying comes from “power to the masses”.
It’s hard to believe that there was so much separation and abuse around people being gay when we know as you say “all the same”. It’s great that there is a lot more awareness around this now although there is a long way to go.
Yes Chris, we do have a long way to go when it comes to truely accepting all in our world, not just those who are gay.
Its a powerful statement to say that we treat each other equally, and love each other equally. I know for me I have hidden pockets where I judge people as both less and more…. whether that be a matter of their perceived intelligence, sexual proclivity, social status or aptitude, their success (in life, in business, in sport). Its good to have an opportunity to reflect on these Leigh, and remind us all that deep in the centre we all have the same divinity, the same soul and in that there is a true equalness.
I can say the same Simon, Leigh’s blog has had me look more deeply into my own pockets and is also a beautiful reminder of who we are in truth.
Sometimes it is easy to say that we love and treat everyone equally but it may not always come from our inner hearts. Sometimes ideals and beliefs can be so ingrained that we don’t realise that there are still splinters of them still embedded deep down. Leigh, I love your honesty here -it is so refreshing and to feel that you have come to a place of truth and can feel the equalness of all humanity is pretty awesome.
And sometimes there can be such a fight to hold onto the ideals and beliefs we know hold ourselves less or more than others. Addressing an investment I have had in an ideal feels akin to detangling myself from a spiders web.
I love this Abby, it made me smile, even though it is not a laughing matter. For it is the unsolicited thoughts that entangle us, not our unwavering love and inate beauty that is with in. This instead presents the truth simply. We however find the truth difficult to accept at times.
Beautiful Abby and Leigh. We can complicate life so much at times that then accepting simple truths seems impossible. Living a simple loving life is what I am working at.
Well said Abby, the spider web of ideals and beliefs, is well worth detangling from, no matter how long it takes.
Great analogy – this spiderweb, how sticky it can be and how yucky it feels, and we do all we can to not have it on our body. Same with ideals and beliefs, how sticky they can be and how yucky they feel when truly felt, and then we also do all we can to get them out of our body too.
I know this fighting very well and lately I detected That I carry a false image of myself and constantly am fighting against this inner image. This revelation empowers me to let go of this step by step. And what you have shared Abby, it is like ‘ detangling myself from a spiders web’.
Me too Sally Scott.
Sometimes a judgement comes up and I think, gosh where does this come from? There is bit of shame and guilt with this, but if I remember that this ‘hidden pocket’ is not of me, but something which I allowed to infiltrate my thoughts, than I can allow to observe what is happening, where it comes from, say no to it and let it go.
This is really beautiful Leigh and it is giving me an opportunity to stop and to honestly examine any old beliefs that I am still holding onto; beliefs that were taken on so long ago that they have become part of me. But as you say: “How far away from my true self have I been living to not feel the hurt that comes with holding onto such beliefs?”. It seems that, not only have we lived beliefs that are the polar opposite to what is true for us, we have also hurt our bodies in the process by the burying and the denying of the harm we are doing to ourselves. As you discovered, how freeing and healing it is when we are able to acknowledge this and then release these beliefs.
We do take on beliefs that suit us at the time. I have found they match a need or hurt that we have not dealt with and stored away in the body. Beliefs are almost impossible to see as they become so embedded in our makeup, we start to see them as part of us. Luckily we have our ‘super lie detector’ bodies to let us know when something is a belief. We can feel when it goes against all the natural and loving laws our body responds to.
It sounds almost impossible but in all my experience it is true – my body is smarter than my mind. It is less insistent but when I carefully listen to both I notice who is true.
Beautifully said Christoph
Absolutely Christoph, I agree – although less insistent the body is also constantly communicating to us. We can choose to listen to it through what we feel instead of think at any time.
Love this Christoph and all it takes is that dedication in the moment to feel the truth.
Well said Fiona, the body is a ‘super lie detector’ and the more I allow myself to deeply to connect to it the more I realise what a great feedback system it provides. I have spent much time safely ‘in my
head’ in the past but now I know that it is my hidey hole, a way of avoiding that which I do not want to feel or look at.
Yes, Fiona, how amazing is the body – Far Greater than any scientific invention on earth could ever be
“Luckily we have our ‘super lie detector’ bodies to let us know when something is a belief.
I love what you have shared here Fiona. These ideals and beliefs could never be thought away. Thankfully our bodies are here to clearly show us that we have been holding onto things which aren’t ours to hold onto.
Beautifully expressed Leigh. Comparison is so insidious, I have found it to be an almost constant presence lingering in the shadows of my awareness, stemming from a lack of true appreciation of myself and the love that I am within. There is very little in this world that teaches us to find our identity from within, but rather to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us. I am finding these patterns are gradually shifting as I live in a more self loving way, and like you the inspiration to live this way has come from the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
‘lingering in the shadows’ – what a great line Tim. These ideals and beliefs do linger in the shadows and it is not until we shine a light into them and go – OK whose there and what are you doing in my life – are you true – do you truly support etc… – that we can expose what’s there and learn to let it go if it no longer serves nor is true. It is a courageous act to be so honest as Leigh has done so beautifully here. My heartfelt congratulations to you Leigh – thank you.
Yes well said Sarah and Tim, and I love the analogy ‘lingering in the shadows’ – something hidden and showing its ugly little face in the form of comparison and ill beliefs, laced with judgment. Shine a bright light into those shadowy corners, and then see it cringe – and leave when we shine with the full love that we truly are.
It’s only with constant awareness do we find these lingering thoughts and comparisons, that come out of the ‘shadows ‘ do we get to identify and honestly deal with these super evasive beliefs … They are the mistletoe in life … not part of the original.
ideals and beliefs = ‘…not part of the original.’ this is simple and powerful, thank you Merilee
Ah awesome – “not part of the original!” It just shows that true truth does not need massive explanations.
Yes this phrase really articulates well how we allow ideals and beliefs to be there; kind of knowing that there’s not something quite right, but not being able to put our finger on it because these thoughts/actions are not at the front of our awareness. For me awareness is everything because once this has happened then changes occur naturally almost without effort as it is much easier to clock when we have unloving thoughts.
Hear, hear Sarah, Leigh’s honesty is truly beautiful and reveals the level at which she has opened herself to the awareness that the comparison and judgement are not who she is or we are. It is only by developing this openness that we get to feel the enormous depth and beauty that is there to unfold. So humbling..
Absolutely Bernadette, Leigh’s honesty is inspiring, she is well aware that these aspects in life do not define who she is and you can feel that Leigh appreciates the growth and expansion she has had to now see and then express all that she is offering.
The growth and expansion is the key to understanding that there is always a lesson in any changes, mishaps and understandings in life.
Yes agreed, and in that revelation there can be no judgement or self condemnation as it was never who we were in the first place, just a consciousness we had, at some point chosen to align to.
This is great what you have shared Tim that comparison is there in the first place because we have a true lack of appreciation for ourselves and the Love within. This is something I have tangibly felt in the last few days and that in deeply and truly appreciating ourselves and the absoluteness we hold within it acts as a switch, switching the comparison off (the energy where we are constantly looking outside of ourselves) and instead starts to turn up the flame within.
Because these thoughts and patterns do linger in the shadows of everyone, it is pure delight when we begin to turn the tide so to speak. To recognize that they are in shadow and to feel from deep within that they are not coming from our innate love that resides within all of us. Having had this realisation was a tide turning point for me, as many other subtle destructive thoughts and patterns of mine have been exposed since, and are continuing to be exposed every day. It truly is magnificent to accept and begin to implement the changes that are needed.
Thank you Tim, Leigh and Vicky, the biggest danger is when we live with arrogance or are complacent and believe prejudice to be another person’s ill, not our own. Being open to see what lingers in the shadows of our own minds can be confronting but honest. Accepting where we are, without beating ourselves up allows us to feel what is true, that we are all equally the sons of God.
I totally agree Leigh. There was nothing more miraculous for me when I really felt in my body that there was nothing wrong with me. This took 10 years of dedication to working on renouncing what was not me. It was a big one to shake as the configuration of this energy in my body felt like it was the easiest choice to make. Choose that I am hurt and withdraw, then sell my body to whatever thought that it has been taught to confirm the areas where I lacked any worth. A great game to play to be irresponsible. I am over the moon I shifted this! Amazing Yes That I am!
So true, Tim, beside the teachings from Universal Medicine, there is hardly anything in the world that teaches us to find our identity within, We learn to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us. Thank God for Universal Medicine and the Benhayon family.
Beautifully put Tim, “There is very little in this world that teaches us to find our identity from within, but rather to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us.” When we do not have a foundation of knowing ourselves from our love inside our hearts we get fooled by the things that are obviously void of love like separation.
Love your comment Tim, your following line resonated deeply with me. “Comparison is so insidious, I have found it to be an almost constant presence lingering in the shadows of my awareness, stemming from a lack of true appreciation of myself and the love that I am within.”
yes Tim, ‘appreciation of myself and the love that I am within’ is the key to shifting ideals and beliefs which have had so much power for so long.
Realising that we are not holding others in love, and comparing or judging is a great sign of where we have to look at bringing more apprecition of ourselves and the love that we are within.
Well said Simone. This foundation of love is so strong that the beliefs and ideals can be seen for what they are – an imposition that does not come from who we are.
“I am finding these patterns are gradually shifting as I live in a more self loving way”… me too Tim. I find that these little thoughts of comparison creep in from time to time, they are so instant, but as a very beautiful and wise women said recently, just say “stop it”, to the imposing energy, and at the same time appreciate ourselves for who we are. I am slowly building up more appreciation of me, and breaking old patterns and this is allowing more of an appreciation of others in the whole glorious process of letting go of the what is not.
Beautiful article and your comment is so complimentary, Tim. It is so true when you say, “There is very little in this world that teaches us to find our identity from within, but rather to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us.” Are we, and all of humanity, not fortunate to have Serge Benhayon to inspire us to come out of the shadows and thereby inspire others?
Absolutely Jonathan, we have been shown our way out of the shadows by someone who knows and lives the truth of who we are and to claim ‘our identity from within’ as Tim expresses. Serge Benhayon is today’s reflection and therefore teacher in offering humanity the way back to the natural harmony and love that we naturally are. We first must awaken fully from the slumber that has us invested in the belief that this human existence is all that there is!
Tim I love how you have shared with beautiful honesty the comparison that lingers in the shadows… It is such a killer and as you so rightly say stems from the lack of appreciation for ourselves. When I look at life and the way it is set up so to speak I find it fascinating that we are taught to look outside of ourselves saying that who we are is not enough. I have believed this my whole life until I attended Universal Medicine’s work presented by Serge Benhayon. Here is where I saw but more importantly felt my truth and how in fact I am Everything and that this is worth celebrating.
Beautifully expressed Tim, thank you for your clear sharing. And I have to agree fully, Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped me the same way, starting to appreciate myself more and more for who I am, and not relying on these false moments of ‘feeling better’ or ‘feeling lesser’ than another, being more and more aware of the awful game of comparison, a game where nobody wins.
Very well said – comparison has also played a huge role in not allowing me to fully appreciate myself and consequently the world around me and those in it. You are literally walking around judging everything and everyone. A complete waste of our potential. Through the work and support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine this has certainly begun to shift and with loving myself more comes appreciation of me and others around me.
So true Tim, ‘There is very little in this world that teaches us to find our identity from within, but rather to look outside and compare what we do and how we look with those around us.’ This is horrible because it sets us up for on going comparison. I agree, it is time to shine light on comparison, ideals and beliefs and anything that is not true so we can let these imprisoning patterns go.
Tim – your comment triggered the question ‘why do we compare’ – and from what I can feel – it is the easiest way we can think that everyone is separate – when really we are all the same. Yes we have different choices, but we also have a huge responsibility to other people. Love knows no colour, no body type, no sex, no force. True love is simply an allowing of another and a beholding. If we start to see the love that is there rather than the comparison, then how can it not bring us closer together and to a point of true understanding.
I know that too Leigh, for me it is shocking to find that I have allowed comparison into my life in order to feel me better or less that the other. it is just something I made up in my mind as in truth I know we are all the same: human beings living here on earth, trying to make something of our lives to the best of our ability and in that we are all the same, irrespectively of how successful or not our lives look from the outside. Now I can appreciate the fact that I have come to this understanding and have learned another aspect of the human behaviour. This understanding will assist me in accepting where people are coming from and not to shy away on what they reflect to me but instead can see through that and see that they are equal to me, a fellow human being.
This is beautiful Nico, at times it can be difficult to accept the choices and actions af another, but allowing ourselves to do this can be very freeing, I have found that I feel more free to be me. And the whole world gets to feel the beauty and love that I hold for myself and as I am rediscovering, I actually hold the same love for all.
I used to think that people were ‘the enemy’, and I sometimes found that I couldn’t accept their behaviours and judged them by my standards. The more I begin to love myself the more I begin to accept others as they are, knowing that they are a reflection of me, and I realise now that I was busy judging and not accepting myself too. The more I begin to love myself the more I accept others, and the love for all is growing for them because they are no different from me, we are all reflections of each other and all healing together.
Your comment just pulled me out of a moment of self criticism, thank you. Divine timing.
This is the key the more we are able to love who we are the more we are able to truly love and connect with another. Our self love barometer is what impacts on our ability to love people and let them see all of who we are.
Beautifully said Katie, keeping our self love barometer full to the brim is so important. We all have so much love and wisdom inside that is there to share with all of humanity. When I am fully loving myself dearly, I want to be a part of my community and to share myself freely. But when I have let self criticism have a say, I find that I want to avoid people and shut myself away. This has now become another hint for me as to when I have let my self love barometer drop some.
Beautiful comment Sandra, I have found love and acceptance of our self naturally flows to include other people.
Yes same Sandra, I did not trust anyone. This was all from my hurt. An illusion. The love and understanding I have for people is palpable. There is so much to life when you make it about love.
Beautiful comment Sandra, it seems so simple that if we love ourselves then we will judge others less harshly and instead be more understanding of how others are behaving. I have experienced this strongly and I know now to look at me directly if another makes me feel irritated in their manner of choices as it is often a reflection of how I have lived also. As someone commented earlier on this thread, the more love we build in ourselves, the less room there is for judgement, criticism and negativity. As Leigh said, she has reached another platform, and we never stop moving on to the platform above.
Lovely Sandra and so true, thank you.
You share such a great example of how our beliefs affect us so deeply Leigh. In our political correct world I often wonder how this way of being limits us to really feeling and admitting our prejudices. With the support of Universal Medicine and what Serge Benhayon presents we have an opportunity to feel in our bodies sometimes shocking and sad things that we know full well are not from us but imposed on us. This is not a way to shirk any responsibility, in fact it makes us more responsible for adopting a belief without really feeling into what affect it is having on us and our bodies.
I agree Suzanne – it actually takes great responsibility, honesty and awareness to see these ideals and beliefs as exactly that – they are what we have chosen to take on thinking they are us and usually we are so stuck in them, comfortable in the world we have created, we choose not to see them.
‘..it actually takes great responsibility, honesty and awareness to see these ideals and beliefs as exactly that’ – I agree Simone. To allow oneself to feel these sometimes confronting and shaking patterns of separation without being drawn back into them or identified by them is a great testament to ones living way. In other words, the level of love in Leigh’s body has risen to not hold such a dense vibration such as this comparison.
Exactly Rachael – as any comparison at all dims that bright light of Love within. So it is important to check in where we do still compare or hold judgement just by learnt ill beliefs we may have taken on.
Thank you Karina, Leigh and Rachael. Comparison comes from not feel full within ourselves and looking outside. It is a denseness that disguises as a friend, but is in fact brotherhood’s enemy. Thank you for clearly expressing on this topic. It definitely needs to be exposed. With Love, Arianne
So true, Karina, there is always something to work on!
Absolutely Karina – “…any comparison at all dims the bright light of Love within” – you have beautifully expressed a truth we have all experienced.
As I read your post I take a big sigh, how can we hold our light we we go into comparison or judgment. It is impossible. I really feel how much of this we need to work on as a society as jealousy and comparison is riff.
I’m with you Karina, comparison certainly dims our light!
I did a photo shoot recently and all was going well until, quick as a flash I went into comparison and lost my sparkle. I was not in my body anymore. This was a choice based on my past hurts and once recognised I could bring myself back. This is what responsibility is all about, not letting these invasive, imposing thoughts pervade us and take us away from ourselves. We are not then doing ourselves or anyone else any favours as we are keeping our true selves from being seen, felt and heard. But WOW, this super new found awareness just means that there are now no excuses but stay connected to ourselves and shine! How simple 🙂
I have been doggedly holding on to ideals and beliefs around many things, but what a fantastic point we have now come to by having the awareness to realise we have based our lives on these ideals and beliefs and now all that is required is for us to check in and let them go, freeing ourselves up for more expansion in our bodies, which leads to feeling more love and stillness, it then becomes a natural progression to not only accept ourselves, but accept and love all others equally.
This is a great conversation to have, as the light of comparison is literally a killer of relationships and a shutting down and creating illness in our own bodies. I love what everyone is sharing here.
I have found it key to be open to seeing how I have still to feel I need to use ideals and beliefs to feel more secure and in control of my life. As I let go more and more, I connect with the flow of life and the absolute gorgeous vulnerability that comes with letting everything I see and feel within be seen in all that I do.
I love the honesty when you talk about why we hold on to ideals and beliefs- the ‘need to use ideals and beliefs to feel more secure and in control of my life.’ Vulnerability can seem scary at first but your celebration of it is supporting me to allow ‘everything I see and feel within be seen in all that I do.’ How cool is that!
I resonate to what you have shared Abby, it is firstly to feel deeper in order to understand one’ s clinging to ideals and beliefs and to be open in order that this can be exposed.
Love what you have written Abby “As I let go more and more, I connect with the flow of life and the absolute gorgeous vulnerability that comes with letting everything I see and feel within be seen in all that I do.” What a fantastic sentence of wisdom. I had to read it a few times to study it. What has great success in letting go is walking. Nothing beats going for a walk to feel better. Guarantee it to the bone!
Abby it is super interesting how we can hold onto these ideals and beliefs thinking that this is it. But as you say there is much to experience when we allow the vulnerability when letting go and simply allowing life to come to you as opposed to trying to control it. One that’s a constant letting go and allowing.
….’the absolute gorgeous vulnerability that comes with letting everything I see and feel within be seen in all that I do’. – This is gold Abby it is divine to experience someone with this openness to another so that you can feel the whole person.
Agree Abby, I can very much relate to this weird familiarity of controlling life, but more and more, embracing my vulnerability and just being in life, the hardness and disconnection that comes with control develops as an un-familar discomfort in my body squeezing the spaciousness of the joy and lightness of my vulnerability.
Abby thank you for opening up this level of vulnerability.
Rachel what you shared this morning resonates deeply with me just now “the hardness and disconnection that comes with control developed an in farmilar discomfort in my body squeezing the spaciousness of the joy and lightness of my vulnerability”.
I love what you have shared here Abby. Using ideals and beliefs to feel secure is a form of comfort too. Showing our vulnerabilities allows for expansion in our relationships with ourlselves and others too.
I can relate to this too Abby, and have found the need to use ideals and beliefs comes from a need to feel in control, which in turn comes from a lack of self-worth from within and having to rely on something on the outside to feel secure or to provide a measure of worth… The ridiculous thing I have experienced is that the more control I try to exert externally (including holding onto ideals and beliefs) the less control (of who I really am) I actually have, the more tense I feel and the less self-worth I actually have. In contrast, the more I let go, the less tense I feel, and the more I feel who I truly am… as you say, there is also a flow that comes with this, much more expansion and my self-worth becomes a reflection of this.
Abby, you have started a great conversation here, and I love too what Natalie and Racheal have added with this. I certainly can feel when the control kicks in and I become hard and disconnected and yes the joy is nowhere to be found. Until I am honest, let go and allow myself to feel again.
In those moments where we feel absolute connection to ourselves and everything else, all those thoughts, pictures etc of who we think we are and what we think we want, issues and problems etc just vanish. This shows that they’re not really part of who we are – just a layer that we add to identify ourselves with. With letting go of the pictures, one by one, comes incrementally more freedom – and it’s something we experience and feel in our bodies.
Beautifully expressed Rachael, ‘the level of love in Leigh’s body has risen to not hold such a dense vibration such as this comparison’. With this understanding we all have a marker for recognising when we make judgements of any kind – our body knows and the denseness is felt. The simple choice to look and feel more deeply as Leigh has is truly liberating.
I love this line – the level of love in Leigh’s body has risen to not hold such a dense vibration such as this comparison.
Yes me three. Build up the love and there is no room for anything else.
Yes it’s so well expressed and can be applied to ones own body too – so we can always check in for that, a clear marker, thank you.
Oh yeah Rachael, that is so well put, it takes a commitment to living with only love and with responsibility purging out anything which is not love. So I would like to repeat the beautiful quote now loved by many: “In other words, the level of love in Leigh’s body has risen to not hold such a dense vibration such as this comparison.”
Yep, gotta love it Bernard. bring in more love, squash out what is not love.
Ah ha Simone, responsibility, honesty and awareness. Three powerful words that once embodied, will expedite our personal growth back to the great love that we innately are. Ideals and beliefs can be shifted, and having the awareness that they don’t come from us, but are imposed on us, is the key, then we can truly begin to make changes as this knowing gives us the freedom to do just that. In the past I have indulged in these negative emotions, under the belief that they were me and I was powerless to do anything about it, but recently, through my honesty and awareness I have taken responsibility and said NO, I don’t want to live like this anymore, and once the commitment is lived, and the consistency is built then I am beginning to feel who I truly am, and those around me are beginning to feel it too, We are awesome, are we not, and feeling that love for myself supports me in expressing that love equally to everyone. I am not perfect by any means, but knowing the truth is enlightening, literally!
Sandra the power and clarity of your words is deeply felt.
Sandra and Mary, the same can be said by many. Coming to understand that any emotion is not us is quite mind boggling to begin with as we have believed that they are us for so long. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine Practitioners we are now able to discern the real us and those emotions that are not. your openess and honesty here is a great support for all of us.
Well said Sandra and Mary, it takes great courage love and dedication to let go of our emotions.
That is gorgeous Sandra, thank you for sharing. I have been sort of ‘addicted’ to these negative thoughts too. Thinking it was me and totally indulging in them, having always something that was not good with me gave me attention in a way too.
Realising my thoughts are not mine and that that always seeing something not good in myself was actually not true at all has been a great revelation. And very freeing.
Yes I could say I was ‘addicted’ to negative emotions and definitely indulged. I know the attachment was and sometimes can be there because if it’s suggested that I’m indulging there’s a little panic of oh no i can’t have my emotions.
But remembering I am way more than them I can come back to myself and really feel how they are not me and are so disruptive.
Yes Lieke, it is so freeing when we realise that ‘my thoughts are not mine’ and also, as Sandra says, to be able to ‘discern the difference between emotions and true feelings.’ I always knew that emotions were harming but I suppressed my feelings too for fear that I was being emotional. The energy however is completely different and suppressing feelings starts to numb us so that we can longer discern or connect to our truth.
Sandra great what you share, it is having the awareness that ideals and beliefs are not us, then we can say NO to the negative emotions that have controlled us for so long. Many of us have felt powerless with these emotions, with the loving support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine we have come to understand that they are not us and that we can say no, once we recognise them and are able to be honest that we have been caught up in the indulgence of them.
Amita, I have been caught up in the indulgence of negative emotions believing them to be me. What Serge Benhayon has taught me is pure gold. I am 100% not my negative emotions and have been choosing them for far too long, because dealing with my hurts was too painful. Now, with this awareness I can choose another way, and that way is to come back to me, moment to moment. I am not perfect by any means, but now I have no excuses, I know the truth and it is time to take responsibility for it and stop making it about me, because we are all in this together, then my responsibility not only makes it about me it is about all of us.
Love reading what you always share Sandra. If you can turn your life around from negative emotions to speak such great wisdom that another can learn and grow from, than we all need to know about this.
Yes Amita, when we see these thoughts and emotions for what they are and not get caught up in them, we realise they are not a part of us at all then we can watch them come and go, just observing.
That’s it Mary, we are deeply under the illusion that we are powerless and believe that these emotions come from us. Once we know better we can then say no to them. Any resistance we then feel when we say no is not coming from us either, if we can realise that then we are well on our way to coming back to love, and any hold that these negative emotions have on us is lessened every time we claim our power back. Saying “stop it!” every time I feel a negative emotion coming on, such as jealousy, anger or frustration is a nail in the coffin of the ‘what is not me!’
Sandra and Mary, well illustrated and very practical ways to recognise that there are thoughts we hold that are not ours, you offer simple steps to letting them go without drama.
I love and agree with what you share here Sandra. I too am choosing to let go of my ideals and beliefs, any pictures I have on how things should be.
That’s great Lorraine Wellman, letting go of those pictures can be so hard sometimes, they are so deeply ingrained in our psyche. But I feel that by letting go of the pictures it can open up the gates to a whole new world of possibilities and potentials that we could never have dreamed of, we just need to let go of outcomes.
Me too Lorraine. Each time I go into a belief or ideal of how I should be or the expectation of another I can feel that this limits the opportunity to love one another and bring more quality and depth to the relationship.
Such a powerful realisation Sandra, thank you for sharing.
I agree Michael and Sandra, and it’s a key to remember – to let go of outcomes is a very freeing and liberating thing to do as this opens up all sorts of new possibilities that with a fixed outcome in mind, we never would be able to experience.
Sandra, Michael and Karina,
Letting go of outcomes, it opens us up for so much more in our lives. Doing this supports us to let go of control as we surrender to not needing things to turn out a certain way.
Beautifully expressed Mary and Sandra. Emotions have such an enormous hold over us, that to recognise this and be aware of when we get caught up in them is a huge step forward in changing the way we live our lives. I can remember thinking in the past, that if someone was not emotional they were cold and unfeeling. Well, that may be the case for those who have become so hard that they simply don’t feel anything anymore, but I know now that our emotions are just as harming. It is with thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that many are now able to discern the difference between emotions and true feelings.
Thank you Sandra and Mary for what you and others have added here as I can relate to thinking these emotions were me for many many years and couldn’t do anything ablaut them. It has been freeing to discover these emotions, thoughts or beliefs held are not me but there to stop me or ways I have chosen to not feel and be me. The true me.
It is so insidious and arrogant how the beliefs we hold onto seem to give us the right to judge others as less or even better than ourselves. It indeed takes great self-responsibility to develop the honesty and awareness to challenge these automatic frameworks.
Judging someone as more than us is a dishonouring of ourselves, and judging someone as less is dishonouring of ourselves too! Going into comparison and jealousy is just a case of self-fury knowing that we are not being our true selves. Yes, it takes honesty and responsibility, but it is so worth the journey.
I completely agree Sandra. That we feel the need to judge means we’ve already dishonoured ourselves by not appreciating who we truly are – a Son of God who is never less than another.
Well said Sandra – “Going into comparison and jealousy is just a case of self-fury knowing that we are not being our true selves.” And having to feel how yucky that feels. So yes the journey out of such beliefs and comparisons is worth every step we have to take.
I have found the way to truly feel what is true is to understand it from my body and not purely from my head or other peoples views. Yes it is arrogant to judge with no understanding. But this is the easy way out to give our power away and not take self responsibility as you say. Just because something is normal does not mean it is true. We are not designed to follow each other but to honour our own bodies first.
“We are not designed to follow each other but to honour our own bodies first”… this struck a chord with me Hannah, and by honouring our bodies first it then honours others, and allows them to be, without imposing on them to be something we want them to be.
Yes these ‘automatic frameworks,’ as you say here Jenny are coming from our head as a distraction from what we feel to be truth and it that moment we just need to remember that another choice is always there waiting from our hearts.
Yes, these automatic frameworks, I know them very well. I put people in them and then all connection and love is gone. Letting go of the arrogance indeed and realizing there is no difference at all, gives ourselves and others the space to just be. This makes relationships so much more joyful.
I agree Jenny, it does take responsibility to be really honest and let all these things that are not us and don’t belong to us to come up to clear.
And to know that it is the falsely held ideals and beliefs that have caused ALL of the world’s suffering literally brings a feeling of tortured anguish to my body, knowing that none of it was necessary because its’ causes were entirely made up. Try telling that to anyone who has lost a child in war.
When we bring it back to the individuals and the amount they suffer, especially around the corruption of the innocence of children it puts things sharply into perspective. It seems ludicrous that people have to die over causes that do not respect the equallness of us all. A parent’s grief is the same no matter which side of the fence of the war you are sitting on.
I agree, I was stuck in ideas and beliefs for a very long time and it was so exhausting. I really could not understand why I was constantly getting depressed . It wasn’t until I came across Universal Medicine, that I started to understand about ideals and beliefs and when I started to let them go, my depression started to disappear.
Yes its very exhausting trying to maintain the unachievable, it leaves one exhausted, burnt out and empty.
I don’t know how many times I have said Thank God for Universal Medicine (PUN INTENDED!). If UniMed didn’t re-mind me of the spark within, the deep essence that is untouched, that has no issues or does not create any, I would still be thinking there is something wrong me. Just having this basic awareness is freedom whenever I constantly choose it.
Great point Rik, it is a sad but a true reality that most of us grow up with thinking that something is wrong with us. Universal Medicine introduces us back to our truth, that we are all sons of God and that is tremendously liberating.
Adding to that: I grew up Christian and everything in the Christian faith tells you that you are not enough, because you are a sinner and it seems whatever you do you can never make up for it, especially if you are a woman, but even the men don’t have a chance. How are we supposed to live healthy, joyful lives being told this nonsense all our lives?
Yes tremendously healing and confirming Judith. I also ‘thought’ for a very long time, that there was something wrong with me, mainly because I was told so by others time and again – sentences like ‘what is wrong with you’ or ‘there is something wrong with you’ or ‘why are you the way you are, it’s not right’ were a constant companion, in the end I was asking myself that as well, as I came to believe the others were right that the way I was was so not ‘right’. So I agree with Rik too – Thank God for Serge Benhayon and all he brings to all of us, deeply healing and a loving acceptance and confirmation of who we are.
Exactly Simone, shaped by imposed ideals and beliefs that we have taken on that become our chosen reality. Boy does it shake our worlds when the truth is presented by Universal Medicine and we start to de-construct the fortress of ideals and beliefs we have used to judge ourselves and the world around us.
So true Jo, this is just what we need, the shake up to realise the way we have been living is not true and the great reminder of what is, by returning to the love we are.
This is so true Mary. Holding ideal pictures and beliefs do terrible things to our bodies and are a form of abuse, because as a result of the ideal and belief, EVERY move we make is in accordance with that and this takes us further and further away from living as the loving and deeply caring people that we are.
Well said Shevon – what a realisation to have and it is all at our fingertips to let go of these ill-creating beliefs that just hold us back from our true connection.
That is very revealing what you shared in your honest comment – that “EVERY move we make is in accordance with that ( ideals and believes) and this takes us further and further away from living as the loving and deeply caring people that we are.” I could feel that this is true and I wonder why we did not learn such an important insight in the kindergarten or at school – or much better direct from our parents.
Yes Suzanne, all it needs is what Leigh has expressed in her blog, the honesty of saying how it is. The moment I see a belief clearly and have no need to cover it up, hide it or ignore it, but honestly look at it, holding it into the light, I am able to let it go, simply because it makes no sense to hold onto it and it disappears.
Yes Judith, once I look at my ideals and beliefs in bright daylight the power they once had over me totally disappears as it does not make sense as you say.
And how liberating is this – such an awesome discovery and all other things to be let go of can easily then follow.
It is a crime in my book to see what our politically correct world expects from each and every human being and with the understanding that this is so far from who we are and where we are truly from it is a wonder that more issues have not occurred among individuals. But as I ponder more deeply here I feel that your example highlights that they are, as we have just learnt to hold these ideals and beliefs and so holding judgment of another. How important it is then to unravel every ideal and belief.
Very true Amina,
I can feel that there are many not yet felt ideals and beliefs in my body that affect how I am with myself and with others that I am yet to reveal. So yes it is super important that we do unravel every ideal. For I know that in time I will live in full the title of this blog. But for now it is living having felt this love and knowing it, choosing it to guide me as I discover the other ideals and beliefs that are there to deal with and be let go of.
Hi Leigh, Your blog is amazing! As you are too. Our ideals and beliefs are so insidious and so sneaky when they comes in that they do take us away from being that spark, and living that joy!
It is horrible to feel the consequences of these ideals and beliefs but … and a big buttt…. over time as you share we can see them, recognise them, let them go and live life more from the spark of light that we come from and not the heaviness of emotions that the ideals and beliefs trigger in us.
It is so true Suzanne, we have today so many politically correct meanings to terms our world that sound innocent and appear to be true but they can be far from it. In history, the meanings of words came first from the way of being before the word itself and thus it was a known action in the body that was being referred to. Yet today we have words that define an action that we learn to fit the definition of the word. Is this not deeply capping?
And also Suzanne, if we choose to not shirk the responsibility, and instead understand and learn from the experience. The hurt inside that triggered us to react how we did gets felt, and once felt we can begin to see the truth of why we have done what we have. Seeing this truth, brings understanding and true compassion to ourselves.