Chocolate and sweets have been faithful companions for most of my life… until a few years ago. My journey with giving up chocolate and sweets has been quite a rollercoaster, spanning more than half a decade. I tried to give up chocolate and sweets several times… over and over again… and I succeeded, but it was never permanent. After the self-restraint I always slipped back and indulged in chocolates and sweets even more, as if there was no tomorrow.
I have always had a sweet tooth – wait, I mean many sweet teeth!
Sugar was my way of sweetening up my life.
In summer, when we went to France for our yearly vacation, I would stock up on sweets and brought bags full of sweets back home. My brothers and I were only allowed to eat sweets on Saturdays. Sometimes, when I asked really nicely and with a sweet voice, my mother would allow me to have some sweets on other days as well.
Then I grew older and started to earn my own money – how delightful was that! I could go and buy chocolates and ice cream, whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Who cared about alcohol when I could have chocolates and cakes? Well, it’s not that I avoided alcohol completely… I did start drinking when I was 15 because that’s what everybody did, but boy-oh-boy did that not taste good at all. Good thing I had chocolate to indulge in to take away some of the bad taste of the alcohol!
At some point I realised that I was a chocoholic. Sweets, and especially chocolate, would have a soothing effect on me. Chocolate gave me great comfort when I felt alone, unloved and not met for just being me. What I really craved was to be truly met and deeply loved.
Even when I hadn’t seen my mum all day she would hardly greet me when I came home; she would be watching TV with her headphones on, secretly eating chocolate. I felt incredibly lonely because I felt less important to her than her TV and chocolate. I went into my room and cried for not being met or seen just for being me, a beautiful little girl. So, of course, I ate more chocolate.
I reconciled with my mum long ago and we have had many opportunities to talk openly about this, in addition to everything else in my childhood that I found difficult. We now have a deeper understanding, love and connection than ever before.
The actual journey of ‘giving up chocolate and sweets’ however took many years, going through a lot of trial and error, because it all came from a need to ‘fix’ the problem rather than from choosing a genuine and loving care for myself and my wellbeing. I went through many phases and I would manage to give up chocolate for a few weeks or maybe even a few months here and there, but never permanently.
I would always fall back to being soothed and numbed by chocolate instead of dealing with the hurt inside. I could NOT imagine living my life without chocolate. I remember thinking it would be next to impossible not to have that chocolate sweeten up my life. What would I do with myself?
It was easy to think I would manage to stop right after I’d had a feast! Right then and there I had had enough, I felt sick, emotional, sad and racy, and thought to myself, “that’s it, I’m done”. But I was just like people who have hangovers that tell themselves they will never drink again… until the next weekend, or even the next day. Sometimes I had so much willpower I didn’t have any sweets for several days, but when I went to the store it was as if I had to make up for the days I hadn’t had any sweets. How clever. Of course, then I bought enough supplies of sweets for several days, even weeks. And then I would try to quit again – it was a constant battle, a very vicious cycle.
Through all these years though, it was like I had a little part inside of me that truly never ever gave up and I knew for sure that one day in the future I would not need to use any willpower at all to get rid of my sweet tooth and quit eating chocolate. So I held on to that part in the midst of indulgence. I knew the day would arrive that chocolate wasn’t going to be a part of my life any longer.
I became aware that I was getting more and more sensitive to sweets and I started to feel the effect the sugar had on my physical and emotional health. I would become very emotional before my period, and I could feel the constant underlying raciness inside my body more and more. When I went to bed I could feel my racy pulse and uneasiness inside, which made it hard to fall asleep.
In the end it became very clear that this was a pattern that I no longer wanted in my life and so I started to make choices that helped me heal the hurts that had forever kept me imprisoned, a victim of my past.
I kept connecting more to my body with the help of an esoteric practitioner. With their ongoing and unwavering love and support I am dedicated to go deeper and truly let go of my hurts and my behaviours, layer by layer.
I’m not saying that I’m totally one hundred percent refined sugar free now, but I know I will get there. I am just thrilled to not have the addiction anymore and I feel so much more joy-full and harmonious inside and more mentally stable and less emotional. I’m noticing that there are so many positive side effects from not eating sugar! I have definitely become more aware – more aware of my feelings, more in tune with my mind, my thoughts and reflections. I am learning to truly connect to my body and to honour the signals it gives me.
Chocolate has not been a part of my life for some years now: giving up chocolate for good has allowed me to know that no amount of chocolate can ever fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences. I am a grown woman, and what has brought life-changing outcomes has been to take deep care of myself and understand that I am entirely responsible for my own choices.
I am forever grateful for the inspiration by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
Published with permission of my Mum.
By Nathalie Sterk, Oslo, Norway
Further Reading:
Are We Consuming Sugar Or Is Sugar Consuming Us?
How I Gave Up Eating Biscuits
Sugar: The Artificial Sweetener… and My Addiction
Love this thank-you I have realised that I don’t biologically need chocolate and sweets and that it purely is emotional, and every time i have had them its been to fill a void or numb a broken heart, so i am going to break the cycle not out of restriction but out of love and care for my body and soul and to let go of it and see what comes to replace it ti be vulnerable and sit in my emotions and deal with them rather than suppress them.
In my experience I’ve realised that addictions have to do with lack of love, which when relate with food has to do with lack of nurturing in the wider sense of the word. When I allow myself to drop into my body and truly feel what it needs, sometimes there’s no need of food but a deeper level of acceptance and love. Many times, the pulse to eat comes from the lack of intimacy with myself, but when I embrace myself in that unconditional openness, food is definitely relative and then I can freely choose what is really needed to ingest, lovingly so.
Michelle the biggest question for me is why do we want to race our bodies by eating sugar or any substance that numbs us. What are we running away from? What is it we don’t want to know but do know because otherwise we wouldn’t be trying to numb ourselves from knowing!
Only when I deeply feel the effect of a food or behaviour is when that ‘never again’ fully sticks. Feeling into the energetic root cause and addressing that is when no willpower is required because there’s nothing in me that wants to return to that food/behaviour.
The truth about “sugar” should be exposed and the corruption that holds it as a stable in so many foods also needs to be revealed.
There is nothing nurturing for our bodies when it comes to eating anything that makes our bodies feel racy and as our awareness grows the list of foods that serve our bodies becomes small, but everything that does Truly-serve and nourish us taste so amazing and is super simple to prepare.
Appreciation of the fact we are divine by nature and living that in full, fills the empty-ness and desires to eat anything sweet or that would otherwise distract us in any way from being Soul-full, become the foods our bodies feel will serve us and thus humanity.
I am beginning to understand how much we rely on sugar to ensure that we are so racy that we cannot feel what’s really going on in our bodies so that we can remain unaware of our evolution back to soul. If we stopped using sugar or any other substance that makes us racy we would immediately become aware of our senses and be aware of other people. So while we race ourselves we can say we don’t know and blame circumstances rather than take responsibility for how we are, what we do, and what we say. It’s a perfect set up of our own making.
It’s great to hear how your relationship with your mum has changed and how you have been able to talk about many feelings from the past with each other.
It’s quiet amazing that being so addicted to chocolate for 37 years and not being able to go for a day without it, I can now wholeheartedly say that I don’t miss it one bit and have gone without it now for about 10 years.
Absolutely Rachel and Michelle, life as a chocoholic was one of distraction that eventually becomes something our bodies share, that chocolate is not working in so many ways, allowing us to move away from such addictions and return to our essences, because we are more than what we think life is about as we are divine beings and chocolate is a simple distraction.
“I would always fall back to being soothed and numbed by chocolate instead of dealing with the hurt inside. ” I clocked this big time yesterday after feeling a big hurt and – having recently returned to eating chocolate after years of absence – through discipline – I realised with such clarity as I was reaching for the chocolate that it was an attempt to stop me from feeling the hurt.
Yes, observing how we feel and how our body responds to different foods feels a truer way to assess what’s going on rather than blindly eliminating certain food groups, which I did for many years, through discipline – rather like diets that don’t work in the long term. Appreciation is key.
I too thought Id given up chocolate for good. But last year I found myself eating foods I had long ago given up. I realised I had done all that through discipline. I am now eating and assessing my body after eating certain foods and am finding this is a truer way to deal with food for me.
No amount of willpower will sustain us in abstaining from food, drink or behaviour. That addiction is there for a reason and until we heal the reason it will still be in demand or substituted. Substitution doesn’t heal the reason either, only a new route to the same outcome/demand.
So true Leigh. I abstained from eating chocolate for years but realised it was all from a discipline not a true renouncing. To deal with the underlying reason is where I am at now.
An inspiring sharing thank you Nathalie.
“I am just thrilled to not have the addiction anymore and I feel so much more joy-full and harmonious inside and more mentally stable and less emotional.” When we realise we are choosing to feel great and full of vitality then there is no longer a push to bully ourselves to not do something that we know is an addiction.
I had a craving for some chocolate after having not had any for a few years, so I had some and really enjoyed it. But what I was so acutely aware of was how much I then craved to have some again and again. I realised how addictive it was, and the lengths I was prepared to go to to get some more. It was a real eye opener, and something that I would never have been aware of had I not previously given it up.
I feel the same with anything with sugar or salt in it. Those mad cravings are a slippery slope and having a diet low in sugar and salt most of the time allows me to feel when things are off kilter.
With addictions there is often an underlying hurt that we haven’t dealt with and by healing, embracing self-love, self-care and saying yes to love, our addictions can easily drop away and leave us feeling our essence again and living our true selves.
Fill ourselves up with our own love and we would no longer need chocolate.
Great one Elizabeth. I reckon if everyone on this planet fills ourselves up with love, there would be a lot of industries that will no longer be needed and the sugar industry would sure be one of them.
I love this Elizabeth, simple and truthful, ‘Fill ourselves up with our own love and we would no longer need chocolate.’
The only thing that has helped me to change my behaviors has been to ask if it is worth it. I really do honour how amazing the body is and how once we allow our bodies to speak – it support us to make loving choices.
It is easier to give up sugar if it makes us racy and gives us a headache than when sugar gives us relief and an experience of more energy and comfort.
Rather than focussing on giving something up, I reckon the place to start is what is it that gets us to that place time and again? How are we living that we end up needing our particular flavour, or crutch, to make it all OK? I’ve tried making rules, to give things up the hard way, and all I seem to get out of it is feeling bad for not being able to sustain it. However when I change a particular way of living, then the thing I have been battling with (like alcohol or cigarettes) drops away easily.
Yes, why do we need something that is not good for us? The more we know why, the more choices we have whether we want to continue with that something – or not to continue.
For me – one taste of sugar and I am addicted again, it’s like you get the taste and you want it again and again, I think it’s really important that we acknowledge sugar for it’s addictive properties and not just consider it a harmless condiment.
I really love this piece. Every addiction comes from feeling empty and in this emptiness we perpetuated this emptiness for another and the ripple effect is then to further numb this hurt. What if one person realizes this and stops. Connect back with themselves and change their movements to connect with others, nothing imposing, but simply naturally the obedience of the body, and we give ourselves and others the chance to feel and heal our hurts.
We cannot renounce addictions through willpower alone. It is only by connecting to a deeper purpose and being committed to living that, that we find that which has had such a hold over us begins to let go. Or more correctly stated; our dependence on such fillers gradually drops away as we fill ourselves with more purpose and this being our return to Soul (love) and the movements that take us there.
I love what Liane shares here, there has to be a deeper purpose if we wish to let go of our addiction, otherwise we will just replace one addiction with another addiction.
I was not really a chocolate person, I found other things namely alcohol to numb me but I stopped drinking a long time ago, but the hurt still comes up some times to clear and sometimes rather than dealing with it, I seek relief….”I would always fall back to being soothed and numbed by chocolate instead of dealing with the hurt inside.” I have realised that this is ALL about energy because I go into the same energy (mood) with sugar and chocolate that I used to about wine…..this is not about the product but the relief we seek and the energy we choose.
So if its all about the relief we seek, then the only question we need to answer is ‘relief from what?’. The what holds the key to these patterns in all of us.
One thing I have noticed is that when you give things up and get the food product out of your body, the so-called favourite treats smell awful. Now I can’t stand the smell of sweet things like chocolate, pastries and fresh bread.
Yes and we get to feel the true harm they can cause and the harmony and stillness in the body far from our reach.
That is interesting Julie and I am like this with some foods but I still love the smell of pastries and fresh bread. We can go through different stages with our relationship with food and it is always key to listen to our body when it comes to nourishing it and take great care with what foods we put into our body.
Giving up anything is easy when we realise the impact it has on us and why we sought after it in the first place. By impact i don’t just mean the physical impact on the body, the way chocolate makes us put on weight, but the energetic quality we are left with after having products which leave us feeling racy and in disconnection with what we feel. As we start to develop an appreciation for our awareness, products such as chocolate, sugar and the likes become redundant and the cravings disappear.
When we bring in self-love these things we do to our bodies slowly start to drop away because the signals from the body become clearer and we then enjoy the clarity more than the effects of the food.
You can never quit a behaviour that you feel is not loving with a forbidding. It needs a deeper committment to yourself that then exposes the ridiculosy of the chosen behaviour itself.
Will power certainly is not it, the foundational way we live and feel about ourselves needs to change. What we seek into way of comfort is the outcome of what we have chosen in how we have been living, or what we do not want to feel. This is what I am learning and although my foundation is strong, it can be stronger and I continue to learn and feel those cravings…to not feel to numb myself, be it drama or food etc, there are many different ways we can seek to numb ourselves.
For one it is chocolate for another it might be success, withdrawal, alcohol… In the end we all try to avoid feeling the pain inside us, not having being met and abandoned ourself from our essence, which is the continuous, recreated pain we say Yes to throughout our life from young on.
We all know what’s good for us and what’s not – but the best thing of all is to refine our life in a way that is loving, supportive and not about wrong or right. Now that is sweet to me.
And realising, that we need to constantly refine, as we move on, our body asks of different choices all the time.
When we stop acknowledging our own sweetness we then look outside ourselves for a substitute and unfortunately they are readily available these days. However there is always a part of us that is aware that our choices are not supportive but until we can feel safe enough to address the hurts that led to this behaviour it is a cycle of trying to give up through sheer willpower which is destined to fail. For me re-connecting to my body and getting support with working through my hurts has allowed me to let go of many self-destructive behaviours and to enjoy my own sweetness again.
The consumption of chocolate seems to be out of control at present. Given that it has such a big effect on our body sooner or later we will have to have an honest look at why we need it so much.
My thing was not chocolate and sweets I could give them up easily, my vice was salty hot chips, now they were not so easy to give up!!!!!
Recognising the need we have to be soothed by the food we eat is a great opportunity to address the root cause of why we have the addictions we have. This is not about beating ourselves up, or being disappointed but by bringing true understanding to our behaviours. This is about deepening the relationship we have with our body
For me the more open I become to the ways my body is always communicating with me the more willing I am to work in partnership with it and then there is much less judgment and much more loving attention and appreciation.
This is a beautiful observation, working in partnership is a wise plan.
When I travelled to South America I was told that the reason they eat so much sugar was because sugar was used to sweeten their lives. The addiction towards sugar in this place was huge. There was a lot that this place in the world did not want to feel, a lot of hurts that were covered up and numbed from sugar, there was a lot of hurt underneath the sometimes happy personas, there is a lot to be honest about.
Yes well said, that loving commitment to ourselves, to pay attention to why we do what we do and then one step further, how we do what we do, that is what offers us our very own personal relationship with our body and medicine.
Changing the movements in our bodies means we create space to understand why the need to eat or drink things we actually don’t enjoy or want is there. Without that understanding we are having a battle of wills – and in fact we may as well just eat them anyway because by the time we do ‘give in’ it is likely to be in a more destructive way than if we had simply done it and considered why the need was there.
We can never break addictions by using will power because this does not get to the root cause of why we have the addiction in the first place, once our hurts are healed and self love is brought into our lives we no longer need the addiction, for we are fulfilled by our own love.
In honesty I did not think I had will power, I use to think I thought I was so lazy and half committed that I could not finish or start anything….however there are levels of this will power thing and I have realised that if I am not careful (i.e aware) I can fall into will power and drive to pull me through life, instead of being in purpose which is much more gentle, flowing and loving. They do feel very different and this will power thing instead of purpose often involves eating food that is not supportive to not want to feel the hardness and push and drive of will power, it is flat with no joy.
Natalie this brings a huge awareness to the sugar addiction syndrome I too suffered from enormously using sugar to fill and sweeten my life as a reward and constant companion. Learning to appreciate myself and heal my emptiness and hurts has made all the difference and brought an understanding to when I need sweet things to look at what is really going on and the effects it has on my clarity and presence is very noticeable and brings a real responsibility into my life to not have the sugar, and to my health also.
‘Chocolate gave me great comfort when I felt alone, unloved and not met for just being me. What I really craved was to be truly met and deeply loved.’ Natalie, I can really relate to what you share here. Chocolate and sugar was my comfort and soother to the emotional angst within, but it was a soother that was making me sick. In my twenties, I got hypoglycaemia and lived with deep highs and lows of energy levels and would need to eat bang on meal times or I wouldn’t be able to function. When I gave up chocolate and sugar (over a long period of time) it was amazing to feel how my body responded in relation to needing food at certain times and how much more vital and well I felt.
I can relate to this as a kid, of constantly seeking sweets especially chocolate when things were tense at home. It was like a short lived relief to comfort me and get me away from having to feel what was going on around me. Food then became my best friend and I ate my way through life- that has been a big pattern to let go of.
That has been my experience letting go of the hurts one by one. Crazy how I never used to think I had any, but once I started to allow myself to feel these I started to see where else in my life I had not acknowledged how I was truly feeling and this became a focus. To be open and willing to see the all and from here true patterns and behaviours started to disappear and more appreciation for myself has been embraced.
This is a beautiful sharing Nathalie. It sounds as if you have been unwrapping something far more precious than chocolate – the inner sweetness that is and has always been the real you.
I often hear people talk about being sweet and realise that I never wanted to be sweet – sweet was sickly and fake. Then I started to peel back my layers of protection I had taken on to cope with being in the world as a very sensitive young girl and realised that the sweet I was reacting to was the sweet of conforming, of forcing myself to fit into a mould that I thought would be more acceptable than the pretty wild, free-thinking and sweet girl I naturally was!
I find that I have used chocolate as a way to sabotage my life- I eat it and it brings a heaviness and moodiness into my body. I then have little or no motivation and disconnect from purpose in things and then just struggle through life.
Having gone out for a meal with friends recently I witnessed first hand the effects of sugar on the whole family, after dinner came deserts which was then accompanied by a high. The next morning the difference was really notable as everyone was far more irritable and snappy with each other.
Its funny how many of us don’t look at sugar intake as mood influencer it is.
And the crazy thing is Sam, is this is how the majority of the world live, in that pattern of sugar highs and the low that inevitably comes next. The snappy-ness in the morning would have been like a hangover from alcohol, but like alcohol, sugar is another substance that many are addicted to and in no way want to give it up. And unless honesty comes into the equation this pattern of living will simply continue unabated, and as it does the body suffers.
Allowing our body to feel what chocolate actually does to us is a process and one must also be caffeine free as even the best organic chocolates has that racy affect.
I love how you highlight that we so often try to fix a problem, a behaviour that we feel no longer serves us or hinders us living who we are, yet these are all the end result of the choices we make that stem even deeper from what energy we are saying ‘yes’ to. When we begin to choose love, say ‘yes’ to love, we inevitably begin to develop a loving relationship with the truth of our body and being through which, we naturally begin to honor and nurture ourselves. It is this relationship that supports us to address and heal our hurts. Through this we begin to know and feel more and more what is true and what is not, and our choices begin to change, finding that unloving behaviors begin to drop off, as our awareness of how they feel to us and our body heightens. True and lasting healing from the inside out. It is a very beautiful process of awakening that for me continues to deepen and magnify, which I find continually inspiring.
This really shows how there is so much behind addiction. It is not just because we can – it is actually masking what we don’t want to deal with. And yet we blame the chocolate. But this keeps us away from truly healing the hurt behind the choice.
Our cravings are never ever to do with food but everything to do with our self-worth, and awareness. If we build a life that’s rich and a body that is delicious – why would we want to sweeten it? Thank you Natalie for this great sharing.
Absolutely Joseph Barker. Let’s support each other to build that life that’s rich and a body that is delicious and appreciate that we can do this and acknowledge the love, awareness and honesty that it takes to do so and the awesomeness that we can then offer the world
Recently I have been eating more sugar than I usually do and I’m noticing how much my energy levels have dropped. It’s madness that we reach for sugar when we are tired as all it does is exacerbate the tiredness.
I have never really been a sugar fan more like comforting foods and a lot of it. Most of the time I end up after dinner time with a sore stomach because I have eaten too much. Instead of honouring my sensitivity and all I know I numb it down.
I used to take it or leave it with chocolate but would find myself eating all the same but it wasn’t my go to. When I decide to try cutting out sweet things, well it at least started with refined sugar, I did this with changing it for honey or maple syrup usually. To start with that was good as didn’t get the crazy raciness with sugar. But over event the substitutes just became to much in my body.
For years I was yo-yo dieting and would eat loads of sugar-free yoghurts, which I thought was a healthy slimming option but have since learnt that the artificial sugar acts the same way in the body as if it is real sugar. So, sometimes with the best of intentions we can swap one addiction for another.
My understanding with giving up food is that instead of it coming from a want or need it will be when we are ready. Of course not to use this as an excuse and override the body saying ‘I am not ready yet’ ….. erm which I find myself doing sometimes!! But with foods that I knew I was using for comfort or to not feel they have just naturally fallen away over time. I guess the more willing we are in being honest with what we feel, why we are using that food and having this awareness of what we are eating and why always helps .. having a greater awareness. It was awesome to read how you and your mum have healed your relationship as well .. very cool. What I can also really appreciate is how I was exactly the same in that I had a REALLY sweet tooth from when I was younger Loved chocolate or anything with chocolate but I haven’t eaten chocolate for at least 8 years!!!! To me that is AMAZING! And I did this with zero trying it just naturally fell away with the support of Universal Medicine courses and Practitioners and me just reconnecting to the truth of my body.
“Sugar was my way of sweetening up my life” – love the honesty here Natalie, it’s amazing how uncovering this realisation can direct a whole life towards focusing on self-love. I found the more i started to love and really take care of myself that my insatiable appetite for chocolate waned to disappear. Equally i know today that when life gets a bit intense, i can at times find myself checking food packets for sugar content which is the great revealer as to how i am, how much i’ve lost my sweet self.. and to come back to that as soon as I can.
Just like the empty calories in sugar it does little to fill the empty void of not living the love that we are.
I can’t remember the day I had my last piece of chocolate as it just happened without me thinking this is it. I given up sugar several years before but continued to eat dairy and sugar free chocolate thinking that I would carry on eating it forever. But one day I realised that I hadn’t eaten chocolate for about six weeks and that I, and my body, obviously hadn’t missed it one little bit…that was eight amazing chocolate free years ago and I still don’t miss it.
Something I find with sugar is that once I have started, I want sweeter and sweeter things, it’s like no amount of sweetness will actually do it. When I don’t eat sugar I find my vegetables are already naturally full of sweetness.
I have been surprised just how hard sugar is to give up. I have the sort of relationship with sugar when I think it’s all over, all done and dusted to find that we are back together again. What I find is that the more present I am in my body, and the more aware of my movements I am, the less the urge for sugar is there as I have not allowed my body to be run ragged during the day so I don’t feel exhausted when it’s time to wind down. I find if I’m tired in the evening and I still have washing to hang out and dishes to do then I tend to distract myself from feeling the tiredness by snacking on something that’s sweet.
I can relate to the illusion of having a huge feed and thinking that this will be the final time! It never works of course and it creates this false haggle with will power to fight temptation. Temptation though need not be there if we have truly healed the addiction in the first place.
Why do we have addictions? I feel our addictions are showing us that we have something we are not dealing with in life and our addictions are a way to take the edge of the tensions we feel, perhaps from not healing an old hurt or a dis-ease in our body. Understanding the root cause of our addiction I feel is essential first step to addressing the problem.
I stopped having sugar in my diet years ago but still find that if I have taken on too much in my life then my thoughts will try and tell me that I need sugar to keep going. This is such an illusion as the less sugar I have the more energy I also have.
That’s so true, the less I stimulate my body and the more present I am with myself the more energy I have. It was such a revelation when I realised that sugar and coffee actually made me tired.
Choosing to be aware of the effect of different food in our body is the opportunity to begin to understand why we make the choices we make.
“Then I grew older and started to earn my own money – how delightful was that! I could go and buy chocolates and ice cream, whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.” I remember this moment too in my life and it seems like the ultimate freedom but I remember actually feeling more captivated by my behaviours and needs now without the loving discipline of my parents. Without the latter I would not be able to stop eating chocolate if I bought it! It was really not a pleasant feeling. I think it comes down to being able to handle the responsibility of loving ourselves and making our own loving boundaries and discipline so we can feel great because we don’t poison ourselves with food that is not supporting us.
There is such a freedom that comes from firstly realizing that we are addicted to something, and then connecting with ourselves enough so that the addiction drops away
“I’m noticing that there are so many positive side effects from not eating sugar! I have definitely become more aware – more aware of my feelings, more in tune with my mind, my thoughts and reflections. I am learning to truly connect to my body and to honour the signals it gives me.” It is great what you share here, as I have been working on the impact of sugar on my body, and what I am finding is the less sugar I am eating the more awareness I have and I am able to read the signals of my body .
Will power alone never works. Ever. It is not a case of mind over matter. You might get a short-term gain, but never a long-term gain. Build up the self-love and self-care, build a more honest relationship with your body, explore what hurts you might be holding onto, lovingly let them go, and from there true and lasting change can be made.
Our addictions can not only be debilitating to our health and well-being but also erode our confidence in ourselves with our seeming inability to say no to what we know in our heart is not good for us.
Great point Suse, and this lack of confidence gives way to all sorts of negative thoughts and impulses that are not from the truth of who we are. Reconnecting to that place in us where we can feel love lets more love in and supports us to walk with our heart and not be dictated to by our head.
I find it fascinating, what food reflects us about us. Why we, like in your case choose chocolate and others might choose milky yogurts, or general overeating, the list is endless. It is all chosen so that we don´t feel, just in different ways. If you say yes to YOU and everything around you, it is amazing how easily you can drop a behaviour like that. If you are not going for the easy solution and the numbing, it is magical how food behaviours change.
This is so true Stefanie. Just by having an awareness of changing even our smallest movements can change behaviours of a lifetime, including eating habits. It can be that we don’t even realise that we have stopped being addicted to something and have given it up without any effort until we are presented with it some days or weeks later.
If anyone had told me many years ago that one day I would give up eating chocolate I would have been incredulous. Even 17 years ago when I realised that my health was suffering from what I was eating and took gluten, dairy and sugar out of my diet, and replaced ‘normal’ chocolate with gluten, dairy and sugar free chocolate I still never thought it would ever disappear from my life. And then one day about 10 years ago I suddenly realised that I hadn’t eaten chocolate for about six weeks and what amazed me was that I actually hadn’t missed it in the least – and 10 years on I still don’t.
Sugar is a poison in the body. I remember eating something sweet after not eating anything sweet for years and I literally felt poisoned. Imagine then eating that poison everyday and what that must do to the body?
” what has brought life-changing outcomes has been to take deep care of myself and understand that I am entirely responsible for my own choices.” Lovely Natalie this is the key to all healing, the want to be deeply caring for one self and this precipitates wise choices, thank you for sharing .
‘Giving up chocolate – for good’ Great title because for me it underlines that so often I tried to do things to ‘be good’ but it never worked until I connected to what was true for me. Being good about something we are struggling to overcome is linked to using willpower to stop ourselves doing whatever we deem as ‘not good’ – a recipe for failure whenever I have attempted it. When we heal the underlying hurt then the need falls away without effort and no need to ‘be good’ about avoiding something because we naturally choose what supports us.
Helen it is so true what you say “When we heal the underlying hurt then the need falls away without effort and no need to ‘be good’ about avoiding something because we naturally choose what supports us.” I have been currently working on building this in my life as food choices are slowly dropping off, the need is no longer there to eat it.
Chocolate (or whatever we are using to avoid feeling) is not the issue, it is choosing to be honest about what the underlying hurt is that needs to be addressed before we can move on and let go of whatever our addiction of choice is. I am amazed at how easily I have been able to give up certain things but how others still linger on in the background waiting to pop up when I am feeling tired/low etc. Deepening my level of self-care allows me to more consistently make supportive food choices and my body is certainly appreciating it after many years of being bombarded with alcohol, cigarettes and empty food calories.
Helen so true it really is about “being honest about what the underlying hurt is that needs be addressed, before we can move on and let go of our addiction of choice is.” The addiction can be anything, a way to numb us from feeling and reading. The more we deepen our level of self-care the more we are able to make loving choices in what foods we eat.
‘Sugar was my way of sweetening up my life.’ When we heal our hurts and feel our own sweetness we no longer crave
chocolate or other sweets. We ourselves can be sweetening up our lives.
I would like to add: We don t need any substance that heightens our state of being. Because being in our body and in stillness is the sweetest sweet you can ever have. But the first stage is realizing how sweet you are, just being you and ACCEPTING it .
It is a great point you make here Nathalie, of how we seek to fix a problem yet so often fail to understand that the problem exists from our lack of connection to ourselves and living disconnected to love. The ‘problem’ is the end result of a way of living that does not honour who we are and so in developing an honest, loving and caring relationship with ourselves, our body and being, we then change from the inside out, letting go of behaviours and patterns that no longer feel true. We soon realise that there is no replacement or substitute that can compare to living in connection to the completeness of our essence, and so we begin, step by step, to make choices that honour the truth and love we feel.
I used to be a chocoholic and sugar addict. I couldn’t go a day without it. Every time I was peckish I would grab a chocolate biscuit or bar. It was something I never considered stopping as I made it part of my life. It was only when my body said enough was enough with hypoglycaemia, bloating, constipation and sinus issues, (symptoms I could no longer ignore!) that I was able to change the pattern. It was a weaning process. At first I stopped eating milk chocolate and only ate dark. Then I went to dairy free and sugar free (which didn’t taste great so came off that pretty quickly), all the while dealing with what was lying underneath the cravings in the 1st place. I stopped missing it after I felt clearly the impact of the taste and feeling in my body once I had had it. Its probably been about 11 years since I ate it last!
It is many, many years since I have eaten chocolate and I was never a chocoholic, but I did feel a drooling kind of reaction in my body when I saw the photo and read the word Chocolate as if I ate a bit with my eyes in that moment – interesting to observe and ponder what that is about!
True love is more powerful than any addiction.
A lot of times I hear talk about the emotional comfort that chocolate brings, and I certainly was very addicted to this as well. But what is so great hear in this blog, is how the addiction was not ‘overcome’ with techniques and strategies, it was simply something that was let go, because it was no longer needed when self-love became the bigger part of life.
I now have not had chocolate for around 6 years, people are shocked when I tell them that, yet to me it was one of the wisest decisions I ever made.
Well done for going against the sweet/chocolate grain in society. I just saw an advert for a weekend chocolate expo today! It seems almost harder to give up sweets and chocolate than smoking, because it is not only socially acceptable but encouraged in many situations. There are the workplace ‘thank you ‘ chocolates, the tearoom or desk supplies plus the plethora that appear at Easter and Christmas! So while it is so normal and seen as a way to bond or show appreciation, it adds an extra challenge to the mix. Only something extraordinary like feeling how lovely you are can replace it.
I was never a fan of chocolate or sugar as a child ( much more the salty palate) but, as an adult once I gave up gluten and dairy , all of a sudden I had a desire for chocolate. – The spirit trying to find a way.
Cutting out sugar is such a personal journey, to learn to feel what the impacts are on your body from what sugar does, one needs to have a relationship with our bodies and feel what it is that occurs. This is an ongoing and unfolding process.
I am finding it is an ongoing relationship! Patterns of not addressing hurts can mean we fall prey to the pattern of avoidance coping behaviour faster than we consciously realise. From that moment we re-sooth ourselves and this then becomes normal again. I am finding it is a constant refining of the willingness to see and deal with all that I have kept hidden away!
I have sometimes heard sugar to be referred to as the ‘white death’ because of its extrememly addictive nature and the harm that it causes in the body. Having also given up the sweet stuff for some years now, I can feel the immediate effect that even eating a piece of fruit that is too sweet has on my body, or a starchy vegetable that converts to sugar once it is ingested. It has made me appreciate how numb my body was before I gave it up, to not feel the raceyness that would kick in as soon as I ate something sweet. And on a practical level, it makes going to the supermarket so much simpler and cheaper!
Giving up sugar is no different than someone giving up heroin. Both are equally as harmful to the body and need to be treated as such. We cannot afford to continue to ignore the effects of sugar on both adults and children.
Nathalie you are certainly not alone with this one, many article in women’s magazines are written about chocolate and it seems unfathomable to some why anyone would want to give chocolate up or that it is possible to give it up. You are living proof that it is possible and that it is an addiction that can be dealt with.
We tend go about in life as if we are not responsible, such as if there was no tomorrow and that the way we conduct our lives do not contribute to the whole, the societies we live in. But in fact there is a responsibility to life and that is to return to that original spark we all still carry in us and to let that grow and become more. In that taking responsibility we also have to look at our indulgences such as eating chocolate, drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes as in a way we only use these as means to not have to take that responsibility to connect to and live from our inner hearts once again.
When we become aware and start to feel the effects of sugar on our physical and emotional health we have a choice – to continue harming ourselves or to stop and gradually cut out this substance that in truth in the future will be seen for the poison it is.
Nathalie in your description of the ins and outs of your chocolate addiction you nail just how sneaky our spirits are when it comes to feeding the habits and comforts we just know are doing us harm. Yet importantly you say this:
‘Through all these years though, it was like I had a little part inside of me that truly never ever gave up and I knew for sure that one day in the future I would not need to use any willpower at all to get rid of my sweet tooth and quit eating chocolate. So I held on to that part in the midst of indulgence. I knew the day would arrive that chocolate wasn’t going to be a part of my life any longer.’
I’ve had (and continue to have in the areas of my life where I am yet to become all I can be) that same inner certainty. At some level I know these things will come to pass and that the light of the soul is far mightier than the tricky spirit. Knowing this is a great support whenever I lapse or it all feels too hard – knowing there’s only one way forward and I’m going there as, ultimately, are we all.
I’ve often reflected on the choices I made as a child to cope with what came my way and wished I’d had far more of myself. For the remainder of this lifetime I’m focusing on building a stronger foundation, which includes dealing with childhood hurts and removing coping mechanisms, such as described here, so I can return with a more solid sense of myself – a self that is responsive rather than reactive to life and all that comes with it.
Lovely to read your blog Nathalie – I love how your relationship with sugar unfolded over time. I myself had a sugar addiction and used it as a means to stay small and not be seen. Once we see what is at the very root of our choice to our seemingly endless pattern of sugar eating, we can address the issue and bingo the addiction begins to drop away.
It is well worth us exploring why we need to sweeten our lives and reward ourselves constantly… are we living deeply fulfilling lives in honour of all that we are or have we settled for the artificial alternative?
“giving up chocolate for good has allowed me to know that no amount of chocolate can ever fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences.” When we open up with honesty and responsibility realising that it is our hurts we are not wanting to feel then true healing can occur, quick fixes never really work, it is just another way to avoid dealing with our hurts which the chocolate endeavours to cover up.
It is interesting Nathalie to consider what sweets and in the context of this blog chocolate in special do in our bodies and why we tend to like the taste of it. Is it because we feel lonely or not loved that we are looking for chocolate or is it just because we like the taste? To me it is the first and we eat chocolate or any other sweet to numb our bodies to not to feel the lovelessness we have allowed in our lives.
This is a great article that reorientates our focus around food. We can get so absorbed in trying to quit, not quitting, going round in circles that we lose sight of the underlying cause. It is great to bring it back to the emotional hurts that we use food to avoid feeling.
One thing I have learnt from ‘The Way of the Livingness’, is that we can’t stop an addiction until we heal why we have the addiction. There are always reasons for us choosing an action that does not support our body. It’s when we choose to feel what that reason is, healing can begin, we find then that abusive behaviour disappears without the use of ‘will power’, or self restraint.
We learn to master life with our mind but in the end it is the body who has to cope with all that the mind dictates. This shows that it is the body we need to ask and listen to to find the answers that we seek.
I would have thought anyone wanting to give up chocolate was crazy and was so strict not that long ago, but after being exposed to the fact that there is more to life than food, and that food has been used for stimulation then It became very prevalent that it is okay to make truly healthy choices, and it isnt hard to give things up but rather embrace what allows us to be more of who we are and less reactive/inconsitent.
We look for many alternatives to drown out or shutdown the despair we feel for lack of love in life. Chocolate, alcohol, TV, fighting with family, drugs, working too much and the list goes on and on. There is however no substitute for love, and it is no matter how much we search for it outside, always within.
To really accept and honour, ‘ I am a grown woman, and what has brought life-changing outcomes has been to take deep care of myself and understand that I am entirely responsible for my own choices,’ is amazing. What you have shared here is how to transform never believing it was possible to get through life without chocolate to it becoming irrelevant is testimony to your deep care of yourself and how this intimacy fills the void that chocolate never could. This is deeply inspiring to read as I have my versions of what I still wonder will I ever be able to do without. Just admitting this takes the dependency away as it opens up the space between me and my crutches.
I still crave sweet stuff – managed to stay off chocolate but the other day I ate a banana and I haven’t had one of those for years. It made me stop and look at how I had been living that left me so exhausted I was craving sugary foods and I realised I’d been holding back on expressing how I feel.
I did the same thing Carmel. And it wasn’t till later that I realised I had taken a herb smoothie with me on my journey for a snack if I needed one. I conveniently forgot about this and instead chose to buy a banana and some nuts. Hmmmm. Reading this blog and some of the comments allowed me to look more closely at what is going on and become more honest with myself. I feel humbled yet empowered. Thank you everyone.
Your experience is great for me to read. I am currently not eating sugar but I have days when I really want it, and sometimes I cave. But I suppose your blog has highlighted that perhaps there is something here for me to look at. Perhaps there is something behind the sugar and this idea that sugar makes life ok. It is great to ask myself why do I want this? What does it bring me that I don’t feel already?
I know so many young people find solace in food, esp sweet food. I know myself if I feel angry or hard done by, the first thing I want is to eat comforting foods. My food choices go haywire- it’s like I have to desperately do something that will numb what I don’t want to feel.
I originally gave up chocolate because of something I’d heard – that it takes 6 months to come out of your system. I made a note in my diary and six months on I thought I was clear, but I wasn’t, because one cold, rainy day in London I bought a gluten free chocolate chip muffin at a cafe. On another occasion, on a long haul flight, again the chocolate chip muffin tempted me and I succumbed. Off and on since I have returned to chocolate, mainly because I was exhausted. Although I knew it was something I didn’t want to eat any more, I hadn’t really dealt with the underlying issue and still craved it, using willpower to not have it. A year ago, after a particular binge I realised just how addictive chocolate was – as soon as I ate one, I wanted another, and then another and I was shocked at how much I was not in control on that day. I haven’t touched any since. I got it because I felt it, not because of what someone said.
Thank you Nathalie. This is so supportive for me to read. I’ve recently cut out all sugars from my diet as I was getting to the stage where it was proppping me up. And I have an infant and I have decided to cut them from her diet too – and I am noticing a big change. I am more tired – but this is just showing me how I am living and how I need to stop rushing around – which sugar made me do and I could hide behind. It is very revealing and I am only at the beginning.
Chocolate is hailed as the best food in the world, the yummiest taste, the reward for all things difficult, and the pep me up you need for your afternoon blues. It unfortunately delivers much more than that including mood swings, emotional roller coasters of highs and lows, caffeine and sugar addiction and a raciness that feeds all manner of issues. It looks good, it tastes good, and it is terrible for you and your body.
Thank you Nathalie for the reminder that these addictive behaviours we carry remain until we are willing to treat ourselves with more love and tender care. For me habits like overeating never go away until I start to ask myself what am I feeling? or Is there another way to be with what I am feeling rather than going to the repeated ‘addicted’ behaviour.
Maybe for many, our addiction to sugar started in childhood? I was certainly plied with sweet treats when I was upset or being ‘difficult’. It was used as a distraction and then became the go-to food I’d crave when I wanted to numb how I was feeling, when I wanted a ‘treat’ to allow me to feel ‘better’, which meant to just not feel what I was feeling.
I can relate with so much that you’ve shared Natalie – i used to LOVE chocolate (and I still catch myself being enamoured at the look of the likes of chocolate eclairs – I mean check out the picture with this article!) But I would stuff my face with chocolate – very good quality chocolate from French and Belgian patisseries – I would go for Quality, and after the initial buzz and high, Id’ feel like a lump. The pleasure was momentary, the feeling afterwards that was far from great would last and last. There was a perpetual dullness i would feel with myself and with life. I haven’t had sugar, chocolate, dairy or gluten for quite a few years now, and the sweetness of life itself, the sweetness I can feel in me surpasses any tantalising eclair that comes my way. There is no match for the sweetness and yumminess we have within, and when we connect to this and start to live it in our day to day, chocolate no longer has a tantalising hold.
We try to convince ourselves that we enjoy chocolate, sweets and a whole array of substances that actually make us feeling sick, headachy, racy, shaky or anxious.
I recall all the ways I would try to tell myself that I loved having ‘treats’, even though I would inevitably always feel worse afterwards.
There is great bravery in this blog, how you have taken each step, to bring love back in to your life on all levels and that includes love with yourself. Beautiful to read.
It is interesting that as a society we relate chocolate with love and celebrate special occasions such as Valentine’s day with lots of chocolate! I guess that says a lot about the quality of relationships and how far away from the true love we are. When we truly love ourselves it is natural to love others and there is no food in the world that can substitute that.
Very revealing of our inner knowing Natalie: “I knew the day would arrive that chocolate wasn’t going to be a part of my life any longer”, could this be because you knew the love that you already are?!…
I used to be a chocaholic too Nathalie, but thankfully now it is no longer the case! I gave it up years ago after really allowing myself to feel the effects in my body. But today, though I never really feel like chocolate again, occasionally I will feel like I am seeking something sweet, and the thought of chocolate might drop into my head – these days it makes me shudder (an unpleasant thought) but I use this moment as a gauge realising like you that I am seeking sweetness in my life – and so it is a moment that is there offered to me as a learning: what am I not wanting to feel? What am I not wanting to take responsibility for? How is it that I seek something to distract me? Why am I not feeling complete? And it could be as simple as letting myself feel how I really feel, perhaps a little sad, a but disconnected, or tired etc.
Thanks for sharing Nathalie – I know, when we don’t find the cause for eating or doing something that’s not really great it’ll always bounce back sooner or later.
Chocolate craving is not really craving of chocolate but of love; the love we are not giving to ourselves. So, we give us a ‘lovely’ chocolate instead. With that, we feed the craving for love further. That is why is so difficult to break the chocolate circle.
“giving up chocolate for good has allowed me to know that no amount of chocolate can ever fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences.” Yes and this works for all food addictions. I do deeply remember this deep feeling of never being able to medicate or heal this feeling of void in myself with eating chocolate. It was the most devastating feeling I had yet I can see now that was how it was but not the truth. As you say we can heal our childhood hurts but not with chocolate, we can do it with starting to deeply caring for and loving ourself.
Chocolate was my bedrock as a teenager, but as an adult I realised I needed to give it up. Chocolate (and caffeine in general) make me moody, argumentative, and some would say scary. I gave it up so I would no longer be aggressive with the people around me. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Yes, chocolate is often seen to make us ‘happy and joyful’ because of the chemicals like endorphins that get released by eating them but I can totally see how it also makes us angry and irritated, something I notice now with other foods as well. Plus eating something I know is not as supportive to my body in general makes me a bit frustrated and snappy!
For me chocolate is a bit like alcohol, it felt good whilst consuming it but the after effects were awful and it took days to get over it
” ….. giving up chocolate for good has allowed me to know that no amount of chocolate can ever fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences.” Yet so many of us used sweets and chocolates in an attempt to fill the feelings of emptiness. Addictions – of any sort – don’t work. Filling ourselves with love enables these addictions to melt away. Getting support from Esoteric Healing practitioners enables this process.
It is very plausable to say, why would you want to give up chocolate.. it is soo good? But when we realise the wonders that we naturally are without any thing stimulating than nothing beats that, not even chocolate. We are very sweet!
Wonderful to read about someone taking on such a full on addiction… And naturally coming out the other end… but who chose those pics of the chocolate?
Natalie, you are describing something more than ‘giving up’ a substance… but resolving the opening/ need to have ever sought it in the first place, and thus to never need it again.
As we come around to Christmas again and it seems that globally the intake of chocolate increases a thousand-fold its quite amazing to claim that I don’t have a single pang or craving. I used to be completely addicted and would have to eat it at least once a day in some form, often having it twice or three times a day. The key to ending this addiction was feeling the effects on my digestion and body. Once I began the process of weaning myself off it I found the after taste of chocolate in my mouth became quite revolting along with the density I felt in my body. It’s easy now not to miss it.
The answer to addiction is not willpower. But the choice of connecting to our body, feeling the true source, feeling what is causing it. Bringing an understanding to ourself, and live more lovingly in turn.
Sugar was my way of sweetening up my life too! Chocolate was also my top of the list go to place for everyday for comfort… but with so much sugar consumption from an early age in childhood my body began to tell me through hypoglycaemia that I could no longer treat it with this amount of disregard. Weaning myself of this addition and need was a gradual process that took some time, but having gaps of little sugar and returning to it again I could feel the false taste and affects on my body more clearly. There came a day when I ate my last bit of chocolate and I made a clear decision that I was done with it. From there I haven’t had a single craving or desire to eat it…completely amazing!
“Sugar was my way of sweetening up my life.” Why is it that so many of us in society want something to take the edge off, we will eat and drink whatever to avoid what is truly going on, when all this does is buries our issues to only come out at a latter time.
When I was younger I was not really a chocolate person, more of a sweets candy person, but it was only when I felt alone and did not want to feel how I was feeling so I would eat the sweets to distract myself. Chocolate is something I started to eat late in life and more often I notice it was just during my periods I would feel low and would want a chocolate bar. I don’t really eat chocolate now, but sometimes when I have lost my connection to self, I feel a sugar craving. I am now more aware of this so, will often look at what has caused it rather than grab a piece of chocolate. Just having that self discipline has supported me lots.
Absolutely yes to Elizabeth’s comment, we have to be willing to look at and heal our hurts, otherwise we will continue to find ways to distract and numb ourselves.
Oh the things we all do to avoid what we feel! Having a chocolate treat is definitely high up there on the list. What I am noticing these days is that it does not have to be something that we eat, it can be going to Facebook or one of the other social media outlets. The only way to stop is to deal with our hurts.
i love how you have related your chocolate seeking ways, to wanting to comfort yourself for the hurts you were holding in the way things were while you grew up. its incredible how we just do anything to avoid feeling the hurt, which is a big problem because then we don’t deal with it, we bury it, much to our detriment.
I am glad you shared this, i take much of this on board and consider my relationships too as a result,
Thank you.
It is an interesting mind game that we consider it a ‘treat’ to give children, others or ourselves chocolate and sweets when in fact it may be forming or feeding an addiction that does not support the body.
With any sorts of addictions we are alwyas trying to fill up that void within of unresolved hurts we carry with us, it is only until we choose to deal with these hurts that we can heal our addictions and meet life through our bodies first and not the heads with unresolved stuff.
Hello Nathalie and I laughed when I read this, it is exactly as you say, “It was easy to think I would manage to stop right after I’d had a feast! Right then and there I had had enough, I felt sick, emotional, sad and racy, and thought to myself, “that’s it, I’m done”. But I was just like people who have hangovers that tell themselves they will never drink again… until the next weekend, or even the next day” It’s funny but not really that we get to a place where we think that is it, where done and I’m out, only to repeat the same thing again to get to the same point again and say the same thing again. It doesn’t make sense and I possibly wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t do it myself with many things. It’s not about chocolate for me and to be honest I could replace it within you blog with anything. What is being said is that we all feel a point where we think it’s time for something to stop, only to find out that we are doing the same thing again not long after. What is it, what’s going on? We aren’t silly people and so why can this keep happening, almost like going around in circles. It all for me leads back to how we are with ourselves, our thoughts, movements and actions all lead us to points that either support us or to points that we say the above over and over. There is an ongoing relationship with how we treat ourselves and this is the true point to heal and to never go back. It’s not about giving something up but more but seeing what sits under the behaviour, thank you Nathalie.
I notice that you have mastered a Master in Psychology Nathalie… and no doubt with this understanding of your body you would make a super wise and amazing addition to any business or organisation. Nevertheless what is interesting is that the understanding of dealing with our hurts is absolutely crucial to healing these addictions. But how many of our professionals actually apply this simple foundational understanding in their practice and with themselves?
I know for me I use foods, and can go back to ones I thought I would never eat again because of not wanting to feel a sadness in me, and also as a way to avoid responsibility, a way to fight my awareness of what I feel; if I indulge in food that makes me racy, then I can’t read what’s going on, make it personal when it’s not, create reactions, go off into my head to try and solve things, or then not have to do what needs to be done or feel what’s needed because I can’t read it clearly. It’s all a way to avoid evolution. And leading a very simple and joyful life. Crazy really.
People tend to be very shocked when I say I have not eaten chocolate for 6 years, I used to be a chocoholic who could not get through the day with out any, that all changes when I realised I was using chocolate as a form of reward for not feeling good enough. I stopped eating chocolate and instead worked on self- worth and feeling enough just being me and guess what the chocolate cravings went.
I can relate Samantha. People seem so shocked, or totally stunned with the fact that I have given up chocolate for sometime too. What is interesting is that the shock or stunned reaction alone exposes how much responsibility and honesty we tend to avoid with ourselves and our choices. Do we truly need that extra slab of chocolate or is there something we sorely do not wish to feel?
We tend to treat addictions to sweets, chocolate and sugar as less serious than addictions to drugs etc. In fact, they are almost accepted as normal. Hence, such an addiction can last an entire lifetime without ever really being looked at, and therefore what is underneath.
If anything I’d say these particular addictions can be worse as they can start from a younger age and not be seen as something more serious until much later on. With drinking or drugs the people around us may be concerned or know that something is obviously wrong but with chocolate being accepted no one questions whats underneath.
“I became aware that I was getting more and more sensitive to sweets and I started to feel the effect the sugar had on my physical and emotional health” I can completely relate to this too, I am finding that things I was able to eat that had some sugar I am finding no longer agree with me, it makes me so tired. My diet is constantly changing as, what I was able to eat three months ago, I find does no longer agree with me.
It is extraordinary that we can sit in front of TV, eating chocolate, ignoring our kids and not think anything wrong with this behaviour. What has humanity come to?
So true Mary-Louise. It is so common nowadays that we as a parent do not take the responsibility to truly take care for the parenting of our children but instead are only busy with or own issues instead.
I’ve had a pretty consistent and steady relationship with sugar and I’ve found that the relief I felt from eating it was only very short lived. But what I did have to deal with then was the raciness, the inability to think straight plus all the feelings that I was trying not to feel. Only after the sugar I didn’t have the clarity to actually deal with or understand the feeling. SO not worth it! Making the choice to be loving and accept that myself has been a far greater tool than ‘holding out’ and TRYING to stop eating it.
The way I see it, our society has so many ‘band-aid’ measures to fill the void of not living and understanding who we truly are. Well, they are like major distractions from why we need to fill ourselves in the first place. Like TV, chocolate, sugar, food in general, emotional love and more. If we understood that we are missing ourselves and that all the love we ever wanted from others is already within I feel a lot of our harmful behaviours would change, I know mine have!
‘The actual journey of ‘giving up chocolate and sweets’ however took many years, going through a lot of trial and error, because it all came from a need to ‘fix’ the problem rather than from choosing a genuine and loving care for myself and my wellbeing.’ This is key isn’t it… no true change comes from seeking a ‘fix’ or solution; but rather it is our responsibility in returning to our true, whole selves that corrects the imbalances that were never us to begin with.
There is still a level of not wanting to feel within me as I have recently found myself craving honey – chocolate lost its appeal years ago, and biscuits and sweets are not great temptations, but there’s still an opening and the excessive honey habit has emerged. I have only been honest enough to call it a sugar these past 2 years – before then I kidded myself that it was healthy and not a sugar
So glad I can say that there is no desire left in my body for chocolate or the likes, it’s just gone. I really used to love chocolate and when it was in the house there was no way I could not eat it. Nowadays, feeling much more connected with the love within, the perceived ‘need’ for it has just disappeared.
It is interesting we see chocolate as a reward or a treat. My son will ask for a treat and I ask him what is a treat about it? Sugar makes him emotional, moody and tired – not something I consider much of a reward.
I was reflecting the other day how a few years ago it was habitual for me to stop on the way home from work and get a chocolate bar, chocolate eclair or something similar. The thought rarely crosses my mind now and when it does it is easy to dismiss it. I no longer see it as a treat or a reward as I know the effect it has on me. Half an hour after eating it I’m exhausted and irritable. But more so, the way I’m living is far more honouring of me and where I’m at that it’s not as often I get to the point where I need a fix.
Hi my names Sarah and I was a Chocoholic. Recently I quit, its been maybe a month, I stopped refined sugar and chocolate, I had to do both because some of the chocolate I ate was refined sugar free and I know that was a loop hole for me to continue my life long addiction. This time was different to other times I have quit as it has not been hard, I have only lusted after chocolate a couple of times but not gone there. What was interesting this round is that now I am growing so sensitive to sweet things, I had a chai tea yesterday and had some maple syrup in to sweet it up a little, I was up half the night, my body internally shaking, anxious, its been over 24 hours and I am still twitchy and effected, looks like I don’t need will power anymore because my body just won’t let me consume it finally without feeling like I have had hard drugs! My whole life I hoped for this sensitivity, cause I just couldn’t stop eating sweets, the day has finally come!
Hello Nathalie and it would seem that you alone may have been keeping cadbury in business, I’m kidding of course. Re visiting your article I find it interesting what the feeling of chocolate gives you, as you say
“I would always fall back to being soothed and numbed by chocolate “. For me this is exactly what it feels like, a smooth creamy escape from something you’re feeling. I know this is how I used it as well. I see a lot of people changing over to raw cacao as a ‘healthy’ version of chocolate that’s ok to have for breakfast. For some reason this just feels the same as chocolate to me and maybe a little worse because of it’s hidden nature. Anyway on we go in the exploration of what food really does to us in place of just eating something because you can.
Yes so true – the more we connect to our love within the less ‘temptations’ can really tempt us. i find that too, there is no trying as the desire is just not there.
Food seems to be filling the void that exists inside many people… Indeed millions, and the consequences of this can be seen in health care systems all around the world.
Being a nurse/midwife we receive many boxes of chocolates as gifts of appreciation. And because we are always on the go, with energy levels usually depleted we look forward to our morning tea break with a chocolate and a cappuccino .
This is where I became addicted to chocolate, and then it continued once I got home because I would feel exhausted and needed a pick me up. Only recently have I been able to give sugar up completely as I have dealt with the underlying reason why I need sugar or chocolate- e.g. comfort, reward, cover up exhaustion, not wanting to take responsibility for my choices in my life, and read what is happening, as sugar makes you racy.
Well done Nathalie, this is something to be celebrated giving up chocolate. I was at a well-respected Dr’s surgery recently who commented on sugar being like cocaine and how addicted we can become to it setting up this vicious cycle that is hard to break. Letting go of the addiction is not easy but once we break free the rewards are even grander than any chocolate could ever bring.
Nathalie, it is great to read how you have taken deeper and deeper care of yourself and have said no to things like chocolate and sweets which were affecting you. I find that if I have anything sweet, just like a drug I want more whereas if I do not have any it is much easier not to even want some! If I am wanting sugar I also have to look at the way I have been treating my body as usually I only want some when I have let myself become run down and tired/exhausted.
I used to love chocolate. Well perhaps it was more that I needed it. The reward at the end of day. There was always chocolate (or some sort of sweet) on the table at work and if I had one, I ended up having many more. Like you it was an attempt to fill the emptiness inside, which nothing could ever fill. So I ate more until I didn’t feel anything. That is still a tendency for me, even though I don’t eat chocolate. But I do know the more I am me and express who I am the much less need I have to fill myself up with food, because I am full of me.
I see I’m the last the comment on this blog and the story of chocolate continues. I haven’t eaten it for years and while I own and work in a shop that sells chocolate I’m not tempted to eat any, not even taste. The smooth creamy texture has no hold over me. It is one of the things I like the smell of but that’s as far as it goes. It’s almost like a block (not of chocolate) but in me that knows how everything feels after those few seconds of ‘enjoyment’ in your mouth. The side effects aren’t worth it and as I’ve said I don’t enjoy the fuzziness and sleepy feel afterwards. Interestingly when I think back chocolate would come and go in my life depending on my mood or what was happening in my life.
Do I love the smell of chocolate, yes, what about the look, yes but what I don’t like is how I feel after eating it. It’s not that I have ‘given up’ chocolate it’s more that I just don’t like the after effects. I have more care for myself and know that while I may get a few seconds of a taste the down side is a couple of days feeling very ordinary. I would rather not eat chocolate then feel like a do afterwards. I love waking up feeling clear in the head and body, ready for the day. For me eating chocolate just led to eating more and then more. There is ‘better’ chocolate these days but the effect is still the same and I’d rather have the clarity and freshness I feel rather then the heavy, drowsy, clouded feel. Chocolate for me isn’t worth it but the feeling of me, well worth it.
I love what you have shared here Ray, I like the smell too and just like you, it’s not worth eating for what it does to my body – to high a price these days. I also found that the last few times I had chocolate, or carob – it actually wasn’t nice anymore, it stuck to my gums etc and I so did not enjoy feeling that stuff inside my mouth anymore. All done and dusted now and feeling much more like you – feeling myself outweighs any sweet chocolaty thing …
“Chocolate gave me great comfort when I felt alone, unloved and not met for just being me. What I really craved was to be truly met and deeply loved.”- I too can relate to that growing up- longing to be met by my parents, and therefore craving any form of sugar- in cakes, biscuits and chocolate for comfort; dull and hide the tension I was feeling within because I avoided speaking up and addressing issues and hurts I felt at home.
But the true sweetness we actually crave from is our divine essence within us all.
To give ourselves something sweet as a gift, a pick me up and reward is an illusion that many of us have fallen for, how come we have fallen so far that something that is poisonous to the body is seen as a gift? or that chocolates and sweets remain one of the biggest selling presents you can buy for someone else when in truth they are harming?
Thankyou Nathalie, there is much to be learned from what you have shared. We live blinded to the truth that the sweetness we so desperately crave comes from deep within us and once tasted in full, will quell any desire to seek for it elsewhere. This sweetness is our Soul.
The best way to fill a chasm is to realise that in-truth it does not even exist. That is to say that through our hurts we are fed to believe that we carry this enormous well of pain within which we then seek to fill with a whole host of foods, ideals, beliefs and ill behaviours that do nothing to heal what we are feeling. When we align to all that is not of the love that we are, we are fed to feel the pain of this seeming separation and subsequently we feed ourselves to not feel it. Far wiser is to acknowledge the pain but know that in-truth it is not who we are, nor is it or was it ever a part of us. Yes we feel it but it is not ours to own and in realising this, it is far simpler to release the hold it has had over us.
I can relate to the soothing qualities of chocolate to blanket the discomfort of feelings one does not want to feel. Lately a lot of awareness around things I have not wanted to see in the past has been accompanied by the odd thought of chocolate. I have not gone there in actuality, as I am not physically addicted anymore, but the very thought brings solace and I notice I have some ‘substitutes’ that are fulfilling the role of chocolate and other comfort foods. The only way through this is observe and allow myself the support to actually feel that which I am avoiding. And I have learned that this process has a timing of its own and that it is for me to appreciate what has been shown, keep observing, and allow myself to feel. No beating up of self or critique is required, just simple honesty.
“Even when I hadn’t seen my mum all day she would hardly greet me when I came home; she would be watching TV with her headphones on, secretly eating chocolate. I felt incredibly lonely because I felt less important to her than her TV and chocolate. I went into my room and cried for not being met or seen just for being me, a beautiful little girl. So, of course, I ate more chocolate.” – This paragraph actually says it all, we grow up and don’t feel met, but instead see parents and other role models who are not coping and are choosing the check out with these behaviours and then we become exactly the same. When it is put in this perspective the temptation of chocolate (or any form of comfort) doesn’t seem so sweet.
I have more recently realised that chocolate and sweets has been away for me to stop myself from feeling. When I go into nervous or sad energy I would eat the chocolate or sweet to make my self feel better, but what it was doing was numbing my feelings. I was not an everyday eater , but when I needed the fix I would grab something. It has made me reflect on where am I still not being true to my own feelings and maybe still burying some hurts.
Craving for something always shows us that we haven’t taken the step necessary to be full of who we are, not wanting to feel this hurt is a great excuse to eat whatever we like to not feel it. But as you show in this blog it is not the answer, the answer is to look honestly at what is going on in our lives, healing the hurts and living a life supportive of this precious inner most of ours.
Behind any craving for a substance is a craving for love. The substance is just a substitute for the real thing.
Nathalie – you have written the memoirs of a chocaholic! Thank you! and I too can share with you that I used to be a chocaholic. At the end of each day I had to have my piece of chocolate, even if it meant driving to the closest service station to buy one in the evening after dinner. It was like my day and my life was not complete without the chocolate. I was hooked, and I mean totally hooked.
And then much later, one day, I actually let myself feel the effects of Chocolate. I had just recieved an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) (here is the link: https://www.universalmedicine.com.au/services/healing-therapies/esoteric-breast-massage ) and came home to find my mum had pulled out chocolates for our easter weekend. I was feeling pretty good about myself but felt myself reach for some chocolate to fit in with everyone else eating chocolate too. And about 5-10 minutes after I had my first piece of chocolate, the head noise and buzz began. It felt like someone had plugged my fingers directly into an electrical socket as I felt this awful buzz going through my body, and the buzz was so noisy in my head too. This feeling lasted for a good 10 hours and was horrible. then over the next 24 hours it gradually receded. I tried again having another piece of chocolate and the same thing happened again. Ever since then I have not felt like having another piece at all, as all I can think about now is how awful it felt in my body. So I have given up chocolate and have completely lost the ‘want’ to have any at all. That was 8 years ago and I have not looked back. I can only say thank God for EBMs, they have saved me a lot of money spent on chocolates and that is only the very small beginning to what they have offered me!!
The many years I spent obsessing over chocolate and sugar is many years wasted! Most of my childhood would be about finding my next fix. Thankfully now with commitment and constancy this addiction is now out of my body. Looking back I can see clearly to what extent that sugar addiction had a hold on my life and how it greatly negatively impacted it.
Hello Natalie and this appears to be the way past anything, “I have definitely become more aware – more aware of my feelings, more in tune with my mind, my thoughts and reflections. I am learning to truly connect to my body and to honour the signals it gives me.” We will often try and give up something or delete it from our view without following this simply line you have written and then from here, from your choices you just don’t feel like eating or doing it again. You don’t so much ‘give it up’ more it just doesn’t fit with how you feel and so you let it go, it’s a big difference.
My relationship with food has been changed dramatically through listening to the teachings of Universal Medicine. Not one single change has been forced upon me, not even suggested. Merely I have had stuff presented to me that has allowed me to consider my own choices. The most stunning of revelations is that in fact hunger is very, very rarely hunger. It is actually a craving. With this small but gigantic semantic difference explained to me I can now use food as a brilliant reflection for what is actually going on in my life and why I might be feeling the way I am feeling. And then I can go back to the cause of the craving and deal with it, rather than burying with a foodstuff. I’m in great shape and certainly don’t need to diet…but I do need to see the truth of the way I am living and thus my renewed dedication to really examining my choices and listening to what my body is telling me.
Nathalie – this is a great read and brings understanding to what we class as addiction, and how we get ourselves into the state of craving something that is not actually us, when really it is just to dismiss the tension in our bodies, knowing we have not chosen more love.
Chocolate provides a very specific form of comfort for me, but I haven’t had any for many years now and I feel no pull to have it again. However I realised I now eat honey in the same way as I used sugar, it is part of my diet most days. I have been hard on myself about this, and have just realised that I need to appreciate how far I have come and that deepening my self-appreciation and care and being honest about the changes to my body it brings is where my focus needs to be. I feel I am using honey in the way I used chocolate, it has become a substitute. In fact it is only in the last year that I have admitted that honey is really another form of sugar.
Anne – you have nailed it here – we may ‘give up’ on certain foods that we might classify as obviously not so good for us, however, there are always other foods to replace it, or then there is the eating more than we need, or the not eating to starve ourselves…the list is endless. All done in an effort to not feel something, to distract ourselves. So when we have the honesty to say ‘I am a chocaholic’ or I am a ‘honeyholic’ then this is the beginning of a change that we can instigate for ourselves.
Nathalie I relate to your story. I have always had a sweet tooth and would seek solace with sweet food, including chocolate. I have noticed that it is a coping method that slips in very quickly when I feel I’m wanting to not feel what is going on – it dampens my awareness and makes me dull. The more I am willing to be honest about my feelings the less pull the sweet has on me.
I really relate to having a chocolate addiction, I have always loved sweets but chocolate is a different type of addictive. I love that you have made it through to the other side, and that in itself gives me hope. I did it once, stopping chocolate for 3 years but then something happened along the line that I didn’t want to feel and I was back to my old ways. Do I eat much of it now? No but I don’t like the feeling and want to get to the point where I just don’t want it anymore.
I have not eaten any kind of chocolate for 5 years and I do not miss it. I realised I was eating chocolate to reward myself as I did not feel good enough. As I increased my self appreciation and natural joy in my life the need for chocolate naturally faded away.
What I found interesting was that it was only after stopping eating gluten and dairy that I discovered chocolate… And boy did I discover chocolate! The world of GF DF chocolate opened its arms to me and I swam in, emerging later realising, as Natalie says, that there is a whole world of disconnection involved in the chemicals that are released upon eating this stuff.
I was speaking to someone recently who for the first time registered the effect sugar had on their body. She said that she couldn’t actually function properly, couldn’t think clearly, was scattered and couldn’t concentrate. This was from one cup cake. What is interesting is that this happens to everyone who has sugar. The difference in this case was that this woman had been connecting with the quality of stillness through Esoteric Yoga and she had a new marker in her body. The effect of sugar had become so normal that from experiencing stillness she could recognise her normal mode of function was actually very difficult.
The only true way to give anything up is to feel the effect it has on the body, then the reason for giving up becomes more meaningful.
If you look at it does not make sense that even though we can feel so much better, lighter, less emotional and less racy in our bodies when not eating chocolate or refined sugars but have huge difficulties with doing this. We call it addiction and even though there is a lot of research being done to the things that can happen in the body with addiction I feel we need to go deeper like Natalie did to heal addictions. I found myself that it was not difficult to give up chocolate when I started to love myself, allowed myself to be gentle and to feel that I know what is true and what is not true in life. I then did not have to give it up, I just did not feel the need anymore to have a sweet that would make my body go crazy!
This is a great sharing Nathalie and one I feel touches on many ‘addictions’ that we bring in/allow into our lives. What I’ve realised is shared in your words as I read them again today “I’m noticing so many positive side effects from not eating sugar”. As soon as I felt that I was restricting myself from certain behaviours/old patterns/foods that process of making changes can and do feel uncomfortable but, the positive benefits certainly outweigh the discomforts of indulging in those past chosen habits.
Absolutely well said Natalie, as you say ”I am a grown woman, and what has brought life-changing outcomes has been to take deep care of myself and understand that I am entirely responsible for my own choices.” We are entirely responsible for our own choices. Meaning it from how much chocolate we eat to numbing ourselves with watching television or hide behind our laptop (with the intent of course, both can be done without numbing too).
We eat in a very short-sighted way – with an instant enjoyment of the taste without considering or even allowing ourselves to feel the consequences. I can sometimes know very early on in the day what I am going to buy to eat later on – I can feel as if I have let in an energy that is determined to ‘sin’ with something I know isn’t good for me but there’s a belligerent attitude that says ‘I’m going to eat it anyway’. Other days I don’t get any kind of craving and I eat only what nourishes. What’s the difference? If I am connected with me, not tired or looking outside for approval, then there is no need for me to eat a ‘treat’. So the answer is, keep building my connection with me.
It is incredible to think that I used to actually plan my day around what sweet treats I could have, usually something with chocolate in it – and the after affects of these treats mainly going unnoticed, such as grumpiness, fatigue, intense cravings for more sugar. I would just enjoy the sensation in my mouth and not relate it to what came next. Until such time that I did begin to connect all the dots together and observe the way I acted and behaved after eating sugary chocolaty foods. This gave me the chance to factor in the consequences of those foods each time I went to eat them, and this gave me the chance to ask myself if I could afford those consequences that day. Which helped me to prioritise the activities in my life with much more love and clarity of what is really important to me.
When put like this the choice to treat ourselves with sugary foods seems less like a treat and more like a chore, with the negatives outweighing the positives. Once I have gone without such foods for a few days, when I reintroduce them, the taste is never that great either. To me it’s all just habit!
Isn’t it fascinating how the body can lap up addiction? Chocolate and sugar is a great example here because it is such a huge and hidden problem that we are only just starting to look at. But the fact is, the sugar could have been replaced with alcohol or smoking or any other habit we have a tendency to fall into and crave like no tomorrow. I know the feeling well, when your mind takes over and all you think about is that one thing you know you shouldn’t and you think the only way to make it go away is to just have it. But wow how far is this from stopping, listening to our bodies and asking if we truly need what we are craving, or if this is just a trick to trap us further into an addiction that is the perfect excuse not to be responsible.There are still some things I catch myself falling for – clothes, foods, too much computer – and in that moment I can clearly see I’ve simply chosen to check out and make what is outside of me more important than who I am.
In my experience, it isn’t about just removing the chocolate, I know I’ll just find another replacement as there are so many options, but it is about connecting with myself to understand where the craving is coming from and perhaps appreciating who I am first is what I am truly craving.
When a giant dark chocolate bar was not enough, there was an insatiable need churning inside of me that no amount of sweet melting pleasure could touch. I felt so unsettled and knew of no where to turn to but the cupboard with the chocolate in it for support. Eventually when I was shown a way to be more loving with myself, the chocolate and its consequences didn’t seem so appealing anymore.
‘…understand that I am entirely responsible for my own choices.’ What a gift it is if we all took this on board. Self Responsibility…the gift of freedom.
Giving things up caused me to rebel – I didn’t want to feel my emptiness. As I have built more love for myself – I have found I don’t have to give things up – they give me up – as my body no longer desires them and I then realise I haven’t consumed/bought sweet foods. No pain, just love.
Sue, the thing is that we think that our bodies need or desire certain foods, for example chocolate, but seemingly this is not right, as something else longs for it – our mind, as our thoughts are leading us to eating chocolate in the first place. It is true though that when we look at why we want or long for certain foods, and this need is healed, there is more space to feel what our body actually wants, and so we can choose to eat foods that actually make our body feel more vital than sluggish! This is the true power of our choices, this is what we have in our hands when we make choices from our body instead of our mind.
I have never been a chocoholic but have sometimes turned to chocolate or sugar to numb feelings, sometimes not even sure what I am numbing myself from. Some deeper stuff that is buried, that wants to stay comfortably buried. What I notice when I turn to sugar is it completely makes me tired. So it’s about really getting to the bottom of what is buried, which will help stop the cravings when they come up.
Sugar – the sweet and inviting poison that tastes so good in the mouth and so lethal on the body. Everything you have shared Nathalie is true and the moment we are reaching for it is the moment we least need it as our body is asking to express something, usually something we have kept buried deep within us. I appreciate even now those moments when the craving comes up as it reminds me to check-in and acknowledge whatever is going on that doesn’t feel true. My way has become more loving, still and reflective and the body thanks me everyday for the changes I have made by not having sugar. You are right when you say it is an ongoing unfolding way – each moment brings an opportunity to be true, it’s as simple as that. Thanks Nathalie.
So true, our coping mechanisms are our coping mechanisms no matter how supposedly innocent or acceptable they may seem to society and those around you. Drug addicts mix with drug addicts so that their addiction is seen as normal… Coffee, sugar and chocolate addiction is seen as normal and yet they equally poison our body and mask so many unspoken conversations. Until we reconnect to those conversations we will always have a need for coping mechanisms.
until there is balance and harmony and reconnection with a deep inner truth, food will always be an energetic substitute for what is missing in our connection with ourselves… this is undeniable, however much one squirms upon hearing it.
‘What I really craved was to be truly met and deeply loved.’ – I feel that is the reason any of us get addicted to drugs, alcohol, chocolate, tv etc is because what we are really missing is love. When we begin to truly love ourselves we can begin to address the addictions that no longer serve us in anyway.
I look forward to that day, Sue, am working on it!
Some people like their chocolate, some other like their nuts (me). In the end it is all the same, as the reason we eat this is for comfort and to dull ourselves. I have been fooling myself for some time to think that nuts is not as bad as chocolate, but oh what an arrogance, as it is exactly the same.
Me too Mariette – on the face of it nuts are nutritious and a healthy food choice but I know that I eat for a different reason, just as you say to dull ourselves and to feel less. Sometimes it is not just what we eat but the reasons behind why we eat it that can be so significant in the effect the food has. Are we listening to our bodies call for what is needed or avoiding something we wish to ignore or change into something different. This can all begin at the point we are shopping for our food and what we are feeling as we select the items from the shelves. How we buy it will influence how we eat it.
Although not addicted to sugar now I can really relate to what you have shared Nathalia; thank you for highlighting such an important issue.
I can really appreciate the transformation you have made and the hurts you have healed to kick the sugar addiction.
Your blog, expression and journey are certainly an inspiration for us all.
I found myself stopping and realising the other day that I no longer eat chocolate, not only do I not eat it but I don’t crave or miss it which is incredible because I always had a sweet tooth growing up and loved chocolate.
I agree Nathalie, no amount of anything can fill a void, not even by with-holding and using willpower. Love is a huge void of world wide epidemic. The lovely thing is we can feed this void with honest inner awareness and expressing this self-love.
It is exposing to consider how much we may have been fooled by the allure of its sweetness, its seeming innocence only to then have to face the resultant impacts it has over our whole entire being and its seductive additive nature as one of the ultimate numbing tool in life.
I have also struggled with addictions over the years which I used to put down to having an addictive or excessive personality. This was a lame excuse I know and am also fortunate to learn over the years the real reasons behind me wanting constant numbness. I can’t say I have any addictions anymore, but I also have to constantly be aware that they are still there waiting to pounce if I should slip back into my old ways.
I never thought I would be able to give up chocolate. It was such a big part of my life. I would consume huge amounts, especially if I was feeling down. It was also my treat for working hard and my quick fix when I was feeling exhausted. In fact it was never a desire of mine to give it up, and it never came into my head that I might one day stop eating it. What’s great about starting to make self-loving choices and becoming more aware of the body is that your body naturally does not crave those things any more. It then does not become a will power issue, but simply something you have grown out of and no longer need.
True Debra, I’ve found until it is a conscious choice to not consume something our body actually doesn’t want, rather than exercising our will via the means of ‘self control’, then the choice is one of a forced abstaining and doesn’t hold – it is still coming from the mind rather than the body.
I’m still craving chocolate and have a ‘given-up’ feeling around ever being ‘free’ of this craving, but the other day I had a glimpse of how self-care provides such a platform that this ‘coping mechanism’ is not there anymore, so now I’m ‘building’ this self-care platform, brick by brick, and am determined to not give up. Plus I’ll go to an esoteric practitioner for support.
It really is that simple – do we choose self love or self harm? And if we continue to choose self harm then in order to understand ourselves better uncovering what lies between us and love is really the only way to go. If we don’t do this for ourselves the body will only put up with so much before it’s messages become louder and some illness or disease will result.
Absolutely Debra. And this is the best way to give something up. The will power game can be exhausting and sometimes sets us up for failure. The extra bonus that comes from making self loving choices is that we then naturally grow out of something that no longer serves us. Now that’s sustainable.
Parents unconsciously make it harder for children to give up sweets because they tend to reward children with sweets and so they become laced with a false love and often this is harder to give up than the actual sweet. The sugar gives an illusion of a comforting love with temporarily fills us until we crave it again. And as you said Nathalie, ‘Chocolate gave me great comfort when I felt alone, unloved and not met for just being me. What I really craved was to be truly met and deeply loved.’ How sad that a beautiful child should need such a substitute for love.
I was reflecting on reading this about the term ‘giving up’ something. It is like we know it isn’t good for us from the beginning, if it is something we need to ‘give up’. I too loved chocolate in the many forms it came. Like you Nathalie, it came to a point where the effects I could feel in my body no longer appealed, and in fact discouraged my intake altogether. Hence chocolate (and alcohol and caffeine) have not been things I have truly ‘given up’ but rather removed gradually as they no longer fit with how I wished my body to feel. Honouring my body in this way has had remarkable effects on my health and wellbeing too. Thank you for your sharing here Nathalie – I’m sure it’s something many can relate to.
Yes I can relate to this Amelia. It never was a ‘giving up’ at the point that I really stopped eating chocolate. It was a loving choice towards myself as the negative effects of chocolate on my body had become so obvious! Giving up something still has the loading of having to let go something you really love and enjoy and that is is ‘heavy’ to do so, but my experience of letting go of chocolate and many other things like pizza, never felt that way. I actually felt quite joyful about letting them go as my body felt so much better without them.
I agree, Amelia, with your comments about what is ‘giving up’ a food. What I’ve also found is that an unsuitable food drops out of my diet by, a) I just don’t want to taste it anymore (because of its side-effects) and or b) I simply forget to buy it anymore in the weekly food shop (I love that, when it just doesn’t register anymore!). There is one ‘stubborn’ food that I feel addicted to, so I’m now wondering if I simply need to make a conscious decision to no longer have it in the house and then will so much appreciate the physical benefits of not having it, that buying it again does not enter my mind. Here we go, a living experiment …
I find myself amazed at times by the effect that certain foods can have on the body. I remember having a chocolate binge 6 months after stopping and spent nearly 3 days yo-yoing from hyperactive to tears, to depressed to delirious. I felt completely out of control of my emotions and erratic reactions. This is a great article exposing how trying to use food to not feel what is there to be felt is just abuse compared to honouring what is there to be felt.
I totally agree Mary-Louise, ‘Being addicted to chocolate is no different to being addicted to drugs or alcohol or gambling’. or anything for that matter. I have recently read a brilliant blog by Danielle Pereira about our addiction to competition and recognition. This addiction too requires that we take another look at our connection with ourselves, and our ability to future love and appreciate ourselves from our very heart.
Being addicted to chocolate is no different to being addicted to drugs or alcohol or gambling. To be free of any sort of addiction we need to re-connect with our bodies and deal with our childhood hurts. Instead of trying to bury them with distractions and numbing devices such as addictions.
Yes Mary-Louise. We can sometime look down on other addictions as being very bad, and think we are doing OK because our addiction is seen as harmless or at least not against the law. We don’t even see it as an addiction, but we are just fooling ourselves.
Great sharing. We tend to think that taking drugs is much worse or people who smoke every day. We are in fact just fooling ourselves as an addiction is an addiction, whatever kind.
Well said Mary-Louise all our addictions and vices suppress our unresolved hurts, these hurts affect all our interactions with others all of the time
One of the best things I’ve ever done and never regretted is getting rid of the chocolate and all other sweet foods out of my diet. Like you Nathalie I thought it would be nigh on impossible but now I can’t even imagine consuming those types of foods again. And I certainly don’t miss the emotional roller coaster ride.
I am always amazed when I look back on how I used to love to eat a whole block of chocolate by myself. Chocolate wasn’t my top food addiction but it was close. I grew up with chocolate as being one of our weekly treats that I looked forward to and continues to use it as a reward and treat as an adult. Now as I walk past the chocolates at the supermarket, I either get no response or a ‘no way’ response from my body. There is just no pull there. This is what is freeing, to not be pulled around and controlled by an addiction.
I loved reading this honest sharing about how difficult it is to give up sweets including chocolate. The quick, sweet fix always masking or covering up what needs to be dealt with underneath. I was certainly known as a sweet tooth over savoury foods. And now even though I do not eat lollies and chocolate I can find at times craving something sweet and looking for anything that will work as a sweet or chocolate substitute. The head can come up with some pretty crazy alternatives to chocolate and sweets.
Trying to drown out sadness carried through from childhood experiences is something I can definitely relate to. It has been a voyage of discovery to find out that this sadness can actually go away, I do not have to carry it, it does not own me or identify who I am. Quite remarkable really.
What I notice lately is that the less I focus on what I can’t have or can and the less I have this idea that I have to stop eating something, the more simple it is. Then food just leaves me, without me trying with effort and will power to not eat it any longer.
I noticed that when I started to not eat certain foods, that I had a craving for sweet foods. I guess it also shows us how much sugar is in our everyday foods too.
I found myself craving all sorts of foods that would give me even the slightest “sugar high”, and as I continued to choose very nourishing foods the cravings disappeared, and the feeling of a sugar high actually became something I hated. It is a complete turn around from the sugar vacuum I used to be – sucking up any amount of sugar I could get my hands on.
Yes Jaime, the amount of sugar there is in our everyday foods is astonishing. Just the other day I looked at a cereal packet and for every 100g of the cereal, it contained 87% sugar. I pointed it out to my mum who had bought it for my brother and she was very shocked. We really do need to pay more attention to food labels.
In a restaurant I connected with a lady today who was telling me about a friend of hers who is a naturopath who decided that she would give up sugar, all sugar. By all sugar that included any dried fruits, sweeteners or fruit itself. The whole lot. What was fascinating is that for the week after she stopped she was an emotional wreck, depressed, tearful and with headaches. She said her friend was amazed by the impact and harm of eating sugar.
In the process of eliminating sugar from my diet I have many times faltered, and each time during the “detox phase”, the effect on the body is immense, tiredness, irritability, hopelessness even. On the other side of that is a sense of freedom and ease in my body that can never be present when sugar is overriding and masking how I truly feel.
Thank you for mentioning the ‘hopelessness’, Heather, I’m ‘battling’ a sugar addiction and many times have hopeless thoughts about ever being able to not have sugar … thoughts that I know are not my own, but it can still be difficult to not be run by them sometimes!
So beautifully expressed for us all to learn and heal from – no matter what our addiction, habit, behaviour or crutch is, it is only the human outplay of an underlying hurt and we all have them. To love yourself deeply enough to explore and heal the hurts will always yield true and lasting change. I feel your blog will inspire many many people – thank you for sharing.
Nathalie it is true from my experience also that giving up on habits that provide comfort and solace from our hurts cannot happen from willpower or the ‘fix-it’ approach. It just perpetuates a cycle of effort, followed by failure, followed by the need to soothe oneself with one’s substance/s of choice. By choosing a loving and caring way with myself significant and lasting changes have occurred.
The actual journey of ‘giving up chocolate and sweets’ however took many years, going through a lot of trial and error, because it all came from a need to ‘fix’ the problem rather than from choosing a genuine and loving care for myself and my wellbeing.
This stands out for me too- “The actual journey of ‘giving up chocolate and sweets’ however took many years, going through a lot of trial and error, because it all came from a need to ‘fix’ the problem rather than from choosing a genuine and loving care for myself and my wellbeing. ”
Since choosing to taking loving care of myself the need for chocolate or cakes has not been there.
Natalie what you have shared in this blog is gold. Could the support of a loving practioner be the key to how we deal with other addictions not just chocolate?
Being willing to stop and really understand the motives behind the eating behaviour is extraordinary and shows a lot of commitment and dedication to self love for others to be inspired by.
Thank you Natalie for this awesome honest sharing. I can rely onto all this what you have described having sweet teeth. What I have found as an incredible huge the point, when you have made the decision no longer to be the victim of the past and this chocolate addiction. You started to make choices that helped you heal the hurts that had forever kept you imprisoned. This is huge and shows how big just one choice is and willpower.
It was only after choosing to no longer drink alcohol that the real addiction showed itself to me. After nearly 25 years of dependency on alcohol the real culprit I discovered was the sugar that laced every sip. Ultimately, neither I am a victim to. The choice is and has always been, mine to truly love and care for myself or not, moment by moment, day by day.
After my second session with Serge Benhayon I realized it was the sugar in the alcohol that I was addicted to not the alcohol itself. This was a huge revelation at the time and made total sense as I was always tired and depressed and when I drank I got my sugar hit soI did not feel as tired.
What I feel with this blog is the absolute beauty of personal development. To be developing true depth and beauty in your life and moving away from the toxic poison of sugars and having your life filled with more love, self care and feelings of fulfillment from truly understanding yourself is amazing. It really goes to show how incredible your way of living is, one that is open to of development yourself and opening up to greater ways of being in the world.
What I observed in my eating chocolate was how it stopped me from really feeling how I was. The act of eating chocolate was a choice I made to dull down my awareness of what was occurring and the effects of the caffeine distorted my outlook as it made me racy and quite high, followed by a crash. If we consider that our body has a natural homeostasis what I was doing was dragging my body further away from that natural state into a temporary elevation that was always followed by a fall and a much less well state of being. In short, life without chocolate is much sweeter. Thanks for your writing Nathalie.
Me too. It is always a choice, for me it is now not really ever about the taste or pleasure of eating something sweet, it is more about the choice to depart from what I am feeling, or to stop myself feeling something I know is about to happen that I do not want to feel. However the results now are so strong that I end up feeling way worse than I would by just feeling what is going on.
I used to love chocolate. After a long time of not eating it because I just didn’t want it, I had some and it was an intense experience. I have always liked sweet things so it was quite shocking to find out how horrible chocolate actually is. I felt very anxious during the sugar high then I crashed in the low that followed. It was a real marker for me to see how far I had come. In the days when I enjoyed it, I must have been very anxious all the time, may be even depressed and in lethargy to not notice how intense it was. There is not a drop of will power in my words when I say that I will never eat chocolate again, because I love myself so much more.
Thank you, Jinyo, for describing the anxiousness that was there with eating sugar … I too feel that and yet am still eating it but am becoming so much more aware of the anxious state I’m in when having it … and am at the point of “what on earth am I doing?”. And yes noticing the times of lethargy too.
As Serge Benhayon has shared, in the world of energy there is no ‘NO’ there is only ‘YES’. So, what are we saying YES to when we become sugar addicts? We say yes to avoid being with us. We say yes to our feelings that we are not worth it and to every single reason why being with us is not our choice. So, it is not about the chocolate itself which might taste amazingly in the mouth. It is about what we are doing with it and why. Only if we go there we can renounce it and let it go.
This is so true Eduardo.
I avoided being with me for years and it wasn’t just chocolate I was saying yes to. Its amazing how long we can go on saying yes to the wrong energy and just ignore the discomfort we are feeling in our bodies as result of this yes.
I too finally discovered that trying to fix a problem, like eating too much chocolate or drinking too much wine etc, that the quick fix approach may have worked for a while, but it didn’t take too long before the “problem” was back again, and often in an even bigger form. It was only when I made the decision to begin to look after myself more lovingly than I had ever done, and in doing so realising that my body’s wisdom was huge and eternal, that my “problems” naturally began to disappear, and as a result the level of my emotional, mental and physical well being grew to a whole new, and very welcome, level.
Food is such a big thing in our lives that really takes honesty to let go of food that does not support our body. Our body is constantly letting us know what foods make us feel tired, or exhausted and those that give us vitality. When we honestly listen to these messages and feel what the foods are doing to us, it becomes easier to let them go. When we ignore the messages it is easy to override our feelings with eating foods which are not supportive.
With the title of this blog “Giving up chocolate – for good”, it reminded me of all the articles out there that help to ‘fix’ your ‘problem’, whether that’s with chocolate, dieting, relationship advice, you name it. But your blog brings a totally different perspective to this topic, with not offering any solutions which is actually very freeing.
Great what you share here Jessica and very true, no solutions are being offered while we live in a world that is always about solutions. It shows how we don’t want to stop and take a moment to have a honest look in what is going on, but instead we start to look for sollutions so we don’t have to deal with the real issue at hand.
Nathalie this is a really great inspiration for everyone to relate to in our own way and so inspiring to understand and feel what is really going on with our addictions and numbing ways of living and getting by in life. This then allows a true responsibility for ourselves and a deep understanding of why and gives us a choice to change things. The responsibility and joy of empowerment for ourselves can only be positive and very confirming for our health, vitality and life as a whole way of living. Thank you for this great sharing on sugar and chocolate and all this brings up. Sugar has been my addiction always from a child and I am working on it also and it is so amazing to feel less controlled by it and so much more presence and clarity as a result.
Recently I have become aware of the fact that my food choices – especially the ones made out of a need to be comforted – are an after-effect of the choices I had been making all up to that moment when suddenly only something sweet will do. This makes me stop and really consider the spaces in-between all those food cravings and to take responsibility for how I am with myself, this includes the thoughts that I have and how I move my body.
Nathalie you shared how you ‘were soothed and numbed by chocolate”. Is it possible that chocolate is just one form we use and that there are many others that still numb our hurts but come under another name?…. Your blog is such a true account of how we can connect to our true sweetness within.
“My journey with giving up chocolate and sweets has been quite a rollercoaster, spanning more than half a decade.”
My goodness, only half a decade, I thought, when I first read this … I’m delighted to read that the struggle with chocolate and sugar is being overcome at an early age in your life. It’s great to know it can be done and to not have to live the chocolate-or-not-chocolate-rollercoaster for all of one’s life, as I (and many others) have done. I’m 57yo now and only recently have broken the struggle with chocolate and sugar, by staying in my body and actually truly deeply feeling the physical effect it has on my body – it’s not good! I cannot stand the increased heart rate, the breathlessness, the flustered feeling, the zipping-along nervous system, the inability to concentrate, the inability to not take on other people’s emotions … is that enough listing of some of the effects?! Are we over chocolate now? Yes we are. And next time round, I hereby declare, that sugar and chocolate will not even get a look-in in my body, it is no longer needed to numb myself this and next time. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story with us Nathalie. So many people have sugar addictions and don’t really have an awareness around why. I grew up mostly without sugar and my mother was very strict about lollie intake. I never really developed a love for chocolate, I hated ice-cream and fizzy drink so when did my need for sugar step in? Around my early twenties I introduced sugar into my life and it was a constant until I started attending sessions and workshops with Serge Benhayon at around 32. I started to notice the effect sugar was having on me and that I ‘needed’ it at certain times. It was like a crutch, a go to when I wanted to smother what I was feeling. Ah the quick fix, with the terrible kick back after effect! It definitely dropped away as I started making more loving food choices, and now refined sugar is no longer a part of my life.
This is the gold for me – “The actual journey of ‘giving up chocolate and sweets’ however took many years, going through a lot of trial and error, because it all came from a need to ‘fix’ the problem rather than from choosing a genuine and loving care for myself and my wellbeing. ”
I have been amazed at what changes come, not from trying to fix problems but from focusing on taking loving care of yourself.
Such is the illusion we all live in, that food that tastes great (but is awful for the health of the body) has to be okay at some level, i.e. don’t I deserve a treat or a reward, life is too short for bad coffee and all the research done that tells us chocolate has health benefits, mean it can often take some time to eliminate a food like chocolate from our diets. This is because it is not actually the food we are addressing, but the underlying issues that have us thinking a food that floods our bodies with a high, to only then leave us at the mercy of the inevitable low, is a good thing!
I am also going through a process of getting zo understand what certain food is doing to me. I realized that certain foods have to do with certain patterns and behaviours and certain thoughts. So if you are ready to give up the food you are probably ready to give up the pattern.
Sugar for me was definitely a favourite when I was younger but probably not as much as salt later on, so I would pride myself on not having as much of a sweet tooth as others, but not realizing that the salt was having the exact same racy effect on my nervous system as the sugar and still a form of numbing or not wanting to feel the emptiness I was covering.
” I have definitely become more aware – more aware of my feelings, more in tune with my mind, my thoughts and reflections. I am learning to truly connect to my body and to honour the signals it gives me”
What a very powerful story Natalie, your honesty is inspirational.
I can certainly relate to your word about sugar sweetening up your life and that it is a difficult habit to kick.
I can really appreciate you taking responsibility to overcome your chocolate/sugar addiction.
Too many of us use sugar to fill ourselves up because we feel the void inside that is unbearable. And it works….. for a while because, the void being still there, we need more sugar….. Working on our hurts and feeling our self-worth and self-love with Universal Medicine is helping so many to reconnect to the beauty and amazingness that we all are.
Thank you Nathalie, your honesty is deeply felt.
That is so true Maryline, Universal Medicine has helped so many people already to reconnect to their own glory and power, so no longer any need for sweets and chocolates to numb the loneliness and emptiness.
Sugar is like cocaine or any other drug or alcohol, it gives us a false sense of reality. We get a temporary lift or step away from truth and think we are doing fine, we are where we want to be, cossetted by whatever substance we choose. It takes a lot of dedication to free oneself of this desire and say no to the assumed easy way out. Great blog Natalie and an amazing testament to your own dedication and devotion to your true self.
I have never had any recreational drugs, but chocolate was my drug of choice, The impact that it had on my body was an absolute high and addiction. Lots of people tell me that they are not addicted to caffeine or sugar. I ask them to give it up for a week and see how they feel.
So true Nathalie, nothing that we seek in or from the outside can fill the emptiness that we constantly feel inside of us until we are more and more living and expressing who we truly are instead of a living a role in a stage that is written and directed by ourselves.
I feel that we need the sweet because we lost touch with our own sweetness. Young children don’t ask for sweets, they get to know sweets and chocolate because at some point it is offered to them for comfort, reward or to ease the pain. Once you start eating it, you are hooked and you want more. That is the addiction that sugar is.
It’s true children don’t need or miss sugar and sweets until they are introduced to them. And, an experience I had with a young child shows they understand the effect sugar has on them – when I explained to him how his behaviour had changed from eating a lollie he was given, he agreed to not eat the second one until after his dinner later in the day if he still felt like doing so. On the way home he fell asleep in the car and I noticed something in his pocket. It was the 2nd lollie. He totally got it and had chosen for himself not to eat it.
I so agree, children have no idea of sweet, until we adults introduce it to them . They are none the wiser, they play and enjoy being a child. It is us adults who bring in sweets and tempt them. Once children get the flavour they then get use to sweet and start to expect it. So it is for us adults to understand why we have chosen to eat sweet things and what comfort are we getting in eating them. Something to really ponder on.
This is a beautiful way of looking at it Mariette. And so true too! When we substitute sugar for our own sweetness we are making a choice that will always leave us short of what we truly want which is our own sweetness and deliciousness inside. Hence the true answer to addictions are inside us
Whether it is chocolate addiction or any other addiction- coffee or smoking- to just quit the habit from will power will not result in true healing. Only when we are honest and ready to deal with our hurts can we then kick the harming behaviour of addiction. A genuine Commitment to self healing is needed .
Thank you Natalie for sharing your personal journey with chocolate addiction, and how you were finally able to give it up.
This is a very revealing blog Nathalie – and what I have learned from your story and the comments that we are all so very much the same at so many levels, including many of our past addictions and the various reasons that we chose to allow them to occur. I can relate to many of the similarities in the comments and feel there has been much support and awareness developed as a result of our choice to attend the presentations of Universal Medicine, thus getting a handle on as to why we chose these particular foods. I feel there is much value in so many of us sharing our unfolding and awarenesses as to unravelling why it was that we turned to sugar, dairy and chocolate specifically in so many cases. Now I am wondering, if smoking cigarettes, tobacco and all the associated products is similar – then I would love to have somebody share their unfolding story around their past habit of or addiction to ‘smoking’ – is it similar, is it the past childhood memories or hurts, emotions or beliefs – and why is it so difficult for some that I know to let go of. Just a thought to open the conversation along this parameter, as I feel that I have learned much by reading everyone’s experience of turning to those other things of which we have just shared.
It’s funny, chocolate was never my thing, yet your statement “Sugar was my way of sweetening up my life’ – still highly resonates with me. I just used other things to sweeten up, or stimulate my life. Emotions, alcohol, other foods, all to make my life more interesting. But over time I have realised that it is never sweetened up by any of those things, in fact it takes away from life, in so many ways.
Great comment Raegan as any food used to sweeten things up certainly does impact on life. If I use food as a reward or to sweeten my day the rest of my day will be dull, I can be moody, not wanting to be with people and I wake up feeling crap.
It’s been a while since I have linked food not only to weight and maybe a bloated stomach from eating too much but to now knowing it alters my behaviours! This has taken a while to really feel the results of the food choices and the subtle changes and messages the body then feeds me back that are not supportive.
It is amazing to begin to feel in our bodies how certain foods can affect our behaviours! This has been very revealing for me, I have felt the effect a banana or even a small cup of de-caff coffee has had on me, almost the same feeling as having a small glass of wine ! And when I go to eat or drink these things I ask myself, what is it that I don’t want to feel? This is where self love comes in, how long do I continue to disregard and override my feelings to delay my own evolution by not truly supporting my body. This is an ongoing process for me, refining and refining my diet and listening to my body as once I have the awareness to feel the subtle changes there is really now excuse anymore !
I can relate to your honest blog on the addiction of chocolate or sweets to not feel an older hurt, very much. Beautiful how you have described your way of quitting chocolate or better to say how you have healed your hurts, that let you eat the chocolate. My experience is also that I have the willpower more or less to quit sweets, but this is not the solution at all. It always stays as a tension in my body and surely seeks another solution to not feel the hurt. And I always find a way here. Adding the bad conscience afterwards to accomplish the vicious circle. So definitely to heal the hurts is the way to quit any addiction what so ever. The modalities and teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are the best support to truly heal and evolve.
Natalie this blog is so powerful in its honesty. Sugar addiction is a struggle experienced by many (myself included). While we eat the sugar to sweeten life and not feel, the fact that we keep doing it is only adding to the misery.
A very powerful piece
When I eat something sweet now I feel the same way I did when I would take drugs or drink alcohol while at school or work. I feel self-conscious and out of my body and I feel paranoid that others can feel how racy and disconnected I am (which of course they can). All of this makes me feel very uncomfortable and I can feel the rampage of my sweet tooth is coming to an end as the 10 seconds of sweetness is just not worth it.
I agree Shirley-Ann, it’s a really important point about why many choose to eat chocolate, or other foods which are proven to be not good for you – Nathalie has provided some insight here, about how it was when she felt alone or not loved that she reached for these comfort foods. If we can realise why we are doing things, that could possibly free us up to choose differently instead of just go to our default habit
I love it Gill – “we are all sweet enough without chocolate”
A great blog about how ‘giving up’ a habit doesn’t have to be about fixing a problem, but just choosing what’s best for your body at that time. I have found in my life that if I try and do it from getting a ‘solution’, there always tends to be something else to fill the void that giving up the first habit has left behind
What is kind of funny is how chocolate is advertised as being the thing to reach for after a break up or bad day or as a reward. How many movies show the heroine binge eating chocolate and ice cream after her boyfriend has dumped her? Its a totally normal response these days, and yet no one is considering the effect this is having on the body, or if perhaps the underlying reason for this behaviour is chocolate, or dairies ability to numb us and stop us feeling what we don’t want to feel.
Thank you, Nathalie, for sharing so honestly how we can use foods, particular sweet things, to smother how we are truly feeling. Food is such a powerful drug to keep us numb from our feelings as we need food to survive but we can be so unaware of the harm it is doing to us at the same time.
“What I really craved was to be truly met and deeply loved.”
It’s still a work in progress for me to have chocolate drop away from my diet and this is because I’m still learning and allowing to truly meet myself and deeply love myself.
I can remember when I was really little, vowing that when I got money I would buy as much chocolate as I wanted. So my relationship with chocolate as a comfort food goes way back. It wasn’t that hard to give up in the end because it made me feel awful, however the pull of sweet things is still there. Gradually I am uncovering the hurts I have not wanted to feel and gently unravelling their hold on me. The more this happens the less those sweet things are on my mind. It is less about will power and more about steady commitment to myself.
There are so many real life stories on these sites of people kicking one habit or another, not through willpower and focussing on resisting the temptation, but through simply feeling who they truly are and living according to that connection to the body. If we pay close enough attention to our bodies, it becomes clear what to eat and not eat or drink, exercise, sleep, etc. Through my connection to myself, I have let alcohol, gluten, dairy, salt, sugar and more, just fall away without any willpower and I have never felt better; many thanks to the support from Universal Medicine, because my willpower was never going to cut it!!
Our bodies communicate is so many ways that sugar is not good for it: tiredness, irritability, lethargy, afternoon low. If we listen, the message is loud and clear.
I agree Heather the body tells us in many different ways that sugar is not good for us, we choose to ignore these signs because we want to continue to indulge in foods that do not agree with us just so we can avoid what we are feeling.
What you highlight here is how, when our ‘treat’ intake is restricted, once we are liberated, we then gorge ourselves unreasonably. When it comes to sugar I decided to give it up, but my body was exhausted and I really wasn’t ready, so that meant, if my will power failed, as it often does, I would go overboard with my eating, not just more fruit but actual cake-type foods as well. I’m learning to take more care of my body so that it is not so exhausted so that I’m not actually craving the sugar – then the change will be permanent – before I was treating the symptoms not the cause.
Thanks for your honest sharing re your chocolate addiction and your journey in how you finally gave it up.
I too loved chocolate when growing up and into my adult life. I used it as a comfort when I was feeling down, and a reward after a long day at work. However, it caused me to feel racy and I couldn’t sleep at night.
I also suffered hypoglycaemia because of it. Since giving it up I feel so much more calm, have more lasting energy and sleep better at night.
I haven’t eaten chocolate for the last 7 years. The other day I ate a snack bar that contained a tiny percentage of cocoa in it. I felt racy about half an hour after eating it, and the next day I felt hungover! It is such strong stuff, and my body showed me the true evil of it.
It is so easy to choose other sweet things instead of chocolate, but to still be with the same intention that chocolate brings. I am learning that although certain foods do have a genuine effect on my body that I do not like, there is also the responsibility for choosing to be ware of how or why I eat.
I completely agree with you Shami
Its beautiful and worth celebrating, when one chooses to embrace oneself as worthy of loving and caring for. What happens thereafter is nothing short of incredible, and the destructive behaviours that we were choosing for ourselves, simply start dropping away effortlessly, as they don’t fit this ‘new’ body, full of love.
Thank you for your very honest account of giving up chocolate, I’ve found when we don’t deal with our underlying hurts, that we are trying to avoid with addictive behaviours, that its not possible to let go of the behaviours permanently.
It seems that all our addictions are linked to our lack of self love. Mine was taking refuge in books. I needed to escape by reading, to be somewhere else in my head to avoid the hurt and discomfort of living with myself. I still read but books somehow do not have the same hold on me. The craving has somehow slipped off me like a garment I no longer need. For this I thank Universal Medicine and its teaching.
Sweet and milky chocolate is a great soother, and clearly as you describe, it was a substitute for not being met and seen for the sweet little girl you were. The magic ingredient was when you started to appreciate your own delicacy and sweetness already in your body, the need for that substitute fell away. So simple really in what feels like an endless desire.
This is lovely Rosanna and a reminder fro me to appreciate my own delicacy and sweetness! Thank you
When a level of love and self care reaches a certain point in the body, it cannot but reduce or stop the choices like eating chocolate, smoking or even over-eating. I have spent too much time trying to give up all sorts, but it always comes back to the self care and connection I have with me that supports to kick these habits. Walking, breathing, or just looking at the food and feeling what it gives, this is never wrong. Can I override these impulses, absolutely yes, but the consequences are fairly instant in the body.
On re-reading this blog I am reminded of how I can use food to dull myself when I feel really lovely or when I have had a day that has been so beautiful that everything has gone my way. I am slowing allowing myself to look at what is underneath this choice to numb myself when I feel amazing.
This blog is great because it doesn’t make out it is easy or a straight road letting go of something you are addicted to. Equally it shares clearly that it can be a letting go and once you have dealt with the hurt that is underneath it all then it is in fact simple and the need does disappear. Beautifully shared.
I too was a chocoholic for many years and when I stopped having chocolate I went on to have chocolate substitutes, other sweet and creamy substances. It was better I told myself because it was dairy free, gluten free and refined sugar free. It took a while for me to start noticing I was using it to mask issues I did not want to look at just as I was using the chocolate. In fact there are myriads of ways we can adopt to do this. But as you say no amount of this behaviour really fills up the void or drowns out the issues. Sooner or later we have to face them.
I can relate very well to this Golnaz. We are so cunning when trying to fool ourselves.
Finally choosing to look at the cause instead of putting endless effort into masking the effects and hurts will make us take responsibility and free ourselves from this addicition.
I can relate with what you share here Golnaz, and as you say regards eating chocolate and its substitutes, ‘no amount of this behaviour really fills up the void or drowns out the issues. Sooner or later we have to face them.’ Why am I craving these substances, what are they giving me that is missing from my life, what am I not wanting to feel?
What I find quite profound about this blog Nathalie is the connection that you describe between sugar cravings and the intimacy of our relationships, from my observation that is undoubtedly a connection between the two. I often see in young people who feel lonely or just as if they have not been met that they often turn to food and sugar to relief this. I mean it is no surprise that during a breakup the stereotypical thing to do is mourn with the relief of eating your way through mountains of chocolate, ice-cream, and sweets etc. I also found for myself that it was only when I started to actually address relationships that I could start to address my food choices without feeling like something was constantly holding me back
What I loved about your story, Nathalie, was I did not feel any residue of hurt in your relationship with your mum. This is super inspiring in a world that is still so keen to avoid responsibility and find someone else to blame. To read about your ‘deeper understanding, love and connection’ in this relationship is a real tribute to your willingness to be the responsible, understanding and super sweet (not toothed!) woman that you are. Thank you.
I agree Matilda, it was very refreshing to read how Nathalie has taken responsibility for her choices and not gone into blaming others. This is very inspiring indeed!
I love your honesty in this blog. I still occasionally use sugar to add some sweetness to my life to numb or checkout of life then beat myself up for it even though I know nothing l put into my body will heal the hurts I have been holding on to or fill the emptiness inside of me. Honesty with myself and taking responsibility for the way I live and what is going on within me is the only true way to live. I am learning more and more to reconnect to myself and feel the fullness of me and in that state sugar is the last thing I want.
What a wonderful and honest sharing of what your journey has been with chocolate. I am sure there are many who can relate to this, myself included. It is amazing what behaviours arise in us to not allow us to feel what is really going on. Plus the fact that it isn’t most of the time a black and white situation that can just be switched on or off. It does take time unpacking this process for each of us and I have found that it is in bringing a love for oneself in this process, certainly helps.
So true when you say that no amount of chocolate will ever drown the sadness or fill the void inside, and nor can anything else we put in our mouth for that matter. I love your detailed observations on what worked and what didn’t work or only worked for a little while when you could feel that it was time to let go of this crutch that was so obviously weighing you down and harming you.
Thank you for this great blog sharing your relationship with chocolate and the addictive nature of that. The ” loving care for myself and my well-being” seems the key factor here. I know that for myself I need a loving dedication to my own self-care and well-being in order to say no to foods that I know are not supporting me in my evolution.
I love how this shows us that it becomes our choice to be honest with ourselves and face what is going on underneath the chocolate fix. It is proven that chocolate (sugar) is more addictive that Cocaine in the body and so easy to see how it becomes impossible to quit or break the cycle by using will power alone. Feeling how the body feels by eating sugar I know is the only break for me in that cycle. Feeling the burnt throat and blisters on my tongue, the raciness, snappiness with my family, and the inability to feel the tenderness of life. Instead of feeling the truth of what is going on…. Hmmm the choice seems incredibly simple when it’s honestly seen.
Great comment Richard, so true. I can totally relate to what you’ve shared. By healing my hurts and recognising my harmful behaviours it enabled me to really make truly loving choices. I have used food for comfort and now my relationship with food has completely changed. Because I no longer crave for comfort in food and this is due to me attending the Universal Medicine workshops and presentations to heal my hurts and issues I have held onto. Once layers and layers of pain, sadness and deep hurt were released I was more able to make loving choices. The need for comfort just naturally and effortlessly dissipated.
Wow, thank you for this awesome blog. It gave me an insight into how addictive chocolate is. It is so beautiful to read how you have overcome this addition and is so honest and open in sharing this. I am sure many people who are also addicted to chocolate will find your blog revealing. There is so much for everyone to truly see the hold chocolate can have on people’s life. It is a very accepted form of comfort that many of us would never consider it to be harmful. I was very mildly addicted to cakes but not so much sweets and chocolate. Giving up refined sugar for me was therefore fairly easy once I decided to choose self-love. I decided over 2 years ago experimenting with giving up Gluten, dairy and caffeinated tea. I didn’t drink alcohol or coffee so I decided to try giving up the 4 major foods that I felt was harming my body. My experiment is now permanent. There is no way I would go back to consuming sugar, dairy, gluten or caffeinated tea because from these choices I now feel absolutely amazing. There is no way I would compromise how I feel for tasty but harmful foods. These loving choices I have made have been inspired by people I met at Universal Medicine and thank you God for this blessing.
It seems exaggerated to say the damage chocolate does to us but when we consider our relationships and how they are affected by the food we eat it is actually no exaggeration at all. The picture Natalie describes of not being met by a mother burying herself in the comfort of chocolate creates the knock on effect that she then looks for that same sweet comfort, it is a cycle that never ends unless we break it with the power of self love. Making choices that heal the body and arrest the damaging choices that otherwise become our norm.
I love reading about the delicacy and power that is in our hands as we accept and appreciate responsibility for our lives. Cycles of ill behaviour continue until such time as we choose to open our eyes and arms to ourselves, lovingly and honestly so, breaking the repetition of unloving patterns and behaviours. Beautifully put, Nathalie and Stephen.
Very well said Stephen
It is staggering to me that chocolate and biscuits are so obviously sold as rewards or comforts, as if we deserve it because we have had a hard day or we are missing intimacy. For me this illustrates how strong the ‘consciousness’ or ‘cultural sway’ is concerning comfort foods and their place in current society. I am sure most of us can relate a story when we ate something because we felt a bit tired, sad or bored, what are we attempting “giving up chocolate for good has allowed me to know that no amount of chocolate can ever fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences.” This is the truth of why we eat these foods and how it can be resolved.
Yes it seems strange to move one’s attention from the cravings and trying to stop using pure will and discipline. However I have found that this strategy is a short term solution, and I need to look at why I crave a moment of sweetness or comfort, or stimulation in my mouth.
wonderful to read an article about being liberated from the tenacious clenches of chocolate… I used to look in astonishment at the enormous slabs of chocolate that people would have in their shopping trolleys… I used to think that the big blocks of Cadbury chocolate, about the size of a novel, were enormous, when I was a kid, now they sell than 10 times that size, and people eat them, along with enormous cups of coffee, and then wonder why they are on an emotional rollercoaster. Neurologically it is also very interesting to note the addictive qualities of these substances as well… There is a lot to let go of.
Nathalie, I can really relate to your blog and giving up chocolate many times. There was no discipline in the world that was strong enough for me to give up chocolate – for me it was how I felt afterwards and the long lasting impact on how I was feeling after having chocolate. Immediately after having chocolate I would be in a spin and feel my chest go tight from the combination of caffeine and sugar, I was unfocused, scattered and my mood changed – I felt more irritable and agitated. I did not like this feeling but what I really did not like was the depression that came afterwards, for days afterwards life would feel like a much bigger effort, I had more negative thoughts and the effect could last up to a week. The correlation between the chocolate and this experience was clear to me so when I really did not want to feel like that anymore I gave up chocolate and it has not been discipline it has been a choice to not want to feel awful for days on end. After I gave up chocolate I started to notice sugar was having the same effect and again I was able to give up sugar not so much from feeling unwell physically even though it gave me a headache, the clincher was the negative impact on my emotional well-being and how this affected how I felt about everything else.
Richard, I can really relate to what you say here as my experience was similar. It took me some years to not crave chocolate and during that time I went from having milk chocolate, to dark chocolate to pure chocolate – just the beans! I was trying to give up chocolate ‘from my head’ and not from my body so even after going up the beans I was still tempted to have a dairy-free chocolate bar on occasions. Like you, it was not until I healed “the hurts and the sense of emptiness I had within me ” that “the desire for chocolate and many other things” miraculously dissolved.
Thank You for your sharing and your honesty Nathalie ! Although my self – Meditation was not sweet, I resonate deeply with your story. And yes, as you say the only way through is facing that deep deep hurt, which Of course requires courage! COUR-AGE !
Chocolate can be such a hard food to kick, and many would say why on earth would you…? But for me chocolate was a sure fire way to have ugly tantrums and mood swings. It took me a while to give it up too, with many slip ups, but now I have been chocolate free for 20 years, and I will never go back. It doesn’t take any willpower, because even though chocolate might taste amazing, I know it will bring me pain and suffering in the form of the emotional tantrums (I don’t know how my husband put up with me!)
Beyond will power to self-love, responsibility and appreciation – go, Heather! Thank you for this awesome sharing.
A great point Heather, you may have an initial high from chocolate but the low you get after possibly, not so much. We often do not want to see food as a consequence of our moods and mood swings but they really do have an impact. Same as there are an increased amount of fights after a sporting event due to the low many experience after their team losing, so too are there many fights after we experience a low from our food choices.
Chocolate seems to be such an innocuous substance that it is often not seen as a real addiction. However, as Natalie shares here, it is still a means to soothe and numb away the pain of hurts, and so is used as an avoidance of what is truly bothering us.
The addictions I had ( not chocolate ) just naturally passed on as I became more honest in listening to my body and in expressing my needs and my feelings. I found that, with a certain level of well being, there was no choice to be made: the addiction no longer fitted with how I was. Hence, addictions are truly substances we use to maintain an unhealthy status quo, in my experience.
This is a brilliant take on addictions: ‘substances we use to maintain an unhealthy status quo…as an avoidance of what is truly bothering us’. With this insight I am more willing to peek behind my behaviours (which can also be addictions) to develop a deeper understanding of why I still let certain things play out in my life. Thank you, Coleen.
Wow Natalie, I never really understood that ‘chocolates and sweets’ could be actually addictive and offer so much cover up from our internal turmoil, hurts and so forth from what we may not want to feel. So we swallow this discomfort down with sweets that give us a temporary reprieve from something deeper within wanting us to pay attention to it because what’s down there is an opportunity for healing, and liberation, although it is often extremely uncomfortable at the beginning. Society markets and sells sugar in many disguises like there is no tomorrow, on a grand scale society is saying – cover up, cover up, eat sugar and all things nice and you will feel better, and then just eat more and more, everyone wins, you get a hit of sugar, your discomfort is numbed for another day, and we can all falsely be happy in the moment; the businesses get an injection of money, great arrangement, but society does not add in the small print,the warnings of what sugar really does to you, the effect it has on your body, your emotional wellbeing. When I talk about society, I am not talking about something out there, but all of us, each one of us makes up society!
Very true Karoline, It is a huge arrangement that keeps everyone numb to what is really going on. Feed everyone sugar and it keeps us on this merry-go-round.
Very well said Karoline, equally those that put out reports that certain foods are good for us, when they well know the high sugar content and what in truth it does to us should be held accountable, this should be a criminal offense. When you think of the billions effected how can it not be.
Natalie this is an awesome expose of chocolate and sweet addiction and how dependent we can become on ‘sugar’. But as you share the dependency goes deeper than a physical addiction, it is an emotional addiction to cover the hurts that we do not want to feel….I’ve never been such a sweet tooth person so to speak, but I certainly have had addictions such as ‘smoking’ and that really was pretty much the same reasons – to swallow discomfort, tension, hurts, to swallow expression…the things we do to ourselves to not feel. Thanks to the teachings and love of Universal Medicine I started to find the courage and will to start looking at my hurts and how I have held myself back in life, how I have used addictive behaviours to keep me imprisoned… Although it was not that long ago, I am no longer that person, driven by underlying hurts but a person who is more and more connected to the love within and inspired to live more of me each day, bringing awareness to this, addictions begin to drop of naturally!
My addiction to chocolate came when I was young, I was probably given chocolate to make me quiet for a little while, but then I got addicted! There were some sad things that I felt during childhood and chocolate seemed to be the way to get happy. I remember always asking mum for a “yowie” or “kinder surprise” when going grocery shopping with her. Birthdays always had a box of chocolates and I remember one year not sharing them with anyone and getting into trouble!! Chocolate was good, the thought of it still seduces me a bit. But I know if I was to eat it I would feel sick, and I value my health and my clarity very much. Chocolate doesn’t win this time!
I love this Harrison “But I know if I was to eat it I would feel sick, and I value my health and my clarity very much. Chocolate doesn’t win this time!” There was too times when I was addicted to chocolate and would be desperate to have it however nowadays as I have far more appreciation for my body I know the consequences of what having chocolate feel like and I now no longer would choose to have the chocolate, a few moments of comfort, for a few days of feeling sick!
Chocolate and sweet treats have been a big part of my life since being a young child. Now working with myself in healing, I can see that food generally and especially sweet treats became a real focus around the age of 6, to deny the fact that I was feeling unseen and unmet by my family at a time when my parents had separated not long after immigrating from South Africa to Australia. There became a compulsive quality to getting a bigger serving and having sweets.
As you say Nathalie, it is a gradual process, first substituting with unrefined sugars, gradually revealing the layers of the emotional hurts and feeling the effects on the body. For me it has taken a third treatment of Blastocystis gut parasite (which feed on sugars) to finally stop eating sugar because it is my responsibility to learn to truly and sensitively care for my digestive system.
A gift from my body I’d say because once it is not an option, there are a lot of benefits – stability of mind, no compulsive cravings, more connection with others, being able to feel more to name a few.
” I have definitely become more aware – more aware of my feelings, more in tune with my mind, my thoughts and reflections. I am learning to truly connect to my body and to honour the signals it gives me”
This is an awesome reflection of self awareness and self responsibility.
The transformation and choices you made are a great inspiration for one who also filled the void by eating sweet things.
Letting go of sugar (refined) was one thing, letting go of the ‘substitute’ for it was quite another. The other day I threw out my last dates …
The role overeating played in my life was similar to the role of chocolate in this blog, yet very insidious to this day, as it can occur with any food, even healthy ones. The familial tendency to overeat and even compete at the table to finish what was in the serving bowl, was about wanting to please and receive recognition. Then, in later life, seeking recognition from food, as weird as it may seem, fuels the subtle continuance of the habit of overeating. To explain, choosing an abundance of food is choosing a quantity of food based on a tendency to not feeling complete within and therefore seeking an abundance from life as a substitute. With this understanding, there is empowerment brought to every meal, to eat to confirm my fullness and not eat to become full.
Thank you Nathalie. It’s such an important topic, the addiction we have to certain foods and even drinks like Coffee. Unlike Alcohol and drugs, being addicted to food is so much sneakier, and easier to hide. People laugh it off as a silly vice, and not something that can actually be harming to your wellbeing. Eating for emoitional purposes is a habit for most of us. I know I have emotional ties with certain foods, namely sweet things for when I feel sad or lonely. It’s an illusion of comfort that we are often not willing to accept, for those very few moment of pleasure while we are eating something, can be very hard to give up…it’s like a crutch that helps you walk.
We definitely need to be having more conversations around emotional eating and what it’s actually doing to our health.
Beautiful Nathalie – it is a life changing journey you have embarked on, thanks for putting it out there for us all to reflect on our own choices and the changes that can be made.
Great blog Nathalie thank you for your honest and open sharing. It shows that will power and denying ourselves something we crave is never the way to go but that we need to look at the root cause of the craving. I have struggled throughout my life with diets and addictions and am learning that the only way to truly let go of something is by healing my hurts and developing a deeply ovine and accepting relationship with myself.
Oh Natalie I can so relate! Bizarrely I could taste the chocolate as I read the early part of your blog, so clearly it was a well known crutch for me too. I also hope this blog and the comments below inspire others to know it is possible, that once you build love in your day to day you can say goodbye to needing fake sweetness!
I love your honesty here Nathalie – from your words, the ‘lure’ that chocolate once had feels so very strong, and then to read how you have transformed your relationship with it is very powerful. That you feel more ‘mentally stable and less emotional’, and more in tune with yourself and your body is a powerful testament to looking at any addictive behaviour that may be keeping us from such a deeper – and rewarding – relationship with ourselves.
Thank-you so much for sharing.
This totally exposes that will power has nothing when compared to the true power of dealing with our hurts and unresolved issues.
I often notice how parents ignore their children, never intentionally, they get caught up in life and miss the queses, stop seeing that their children just want a moment of their time. Just to be met in the eyes and even a gentle touch, yet we get caught up thinking we are doing all the right things, getting them to sport, this and that event, going to work to earn money to buy all the things we think they need. Yet the one thing, the most important thing to be met, gets overlooked. And then we have chocolate to numb and bury the pain. Thank you Mr Cadbury, I wonder if you know what you do?
I agree Caroline this is happening in households all around the world. It means so much to feel loved and appreciated just for being you and it only takes a moment of bringing your full, undivided attention to your child and letting them in. This is true medicine, and chocolate? well that’s a very poor substitute. As adults it’s our responsibility to love ourselves in full so we don’t feel neglegted and empty and therefore craving –something to fill that gap.
This is so true Caroline. I definitely notice a change in my children’s behaviours when I don’t give them enough attention. They are very smart and they know when I am not giving them 100% full attention. Like you shared, it can be frequent moments of deep connection, in a smile, a gentle touch or simply stopping to appreciate them. Thank you for reminding me to do this more often. As I have observed, there can be devastating effects on people who haven’t been met as a child. I can see that it is equally harming feeling not met even as an adult.
Sugar is so addictive, for me it was much easier to deal with letting go of smoking cigarette then to address my addiction with sugar.
Wow Abby, that’s intense, I was never a sugar addict, but I know how hard it was giving up smoking. I never fully grasped the seriousness of sugar addiction until this blog. This is extremely shocking as sugar is marketed enormously for all from babies up to the old, the affect it has on our bodies is detrimental to our wellbeing – is this legal poisoning?
Aaaah the secret habits of a chocoholic – I know them so well! I can relate hugely to your experiences, and the insatiable need for sugar to sweeten my life every second of the day. For me too it took many years of quitting and then conceding, until the consequences begun to get too bad to ignore and I would feel ill for days, and became obvious that my addiction was simply a symptom of something else wrong in m life. I can honestly say life without sugar feels so much cleaner and healthier.
The link between our emotions and food is recognised by virtually everyone but rarely given any proper respect in regard to changing our food habits. It makes perfect sense that a food such as chocolate is used to alleviate hurt we might feel as the smooth soothing aspect of the food combined with the mind altering effects of the sugar and caffeine make it a powerful choice. Being aware of this feels like the first step to addressing eating such foods, as knowing why we eat a food allows us to look more closely at the root cause and bring acceptance of ourselves and where we are into the equation. Comfort food is a quick fix but it doesn’t solve the problem and what I found is that over time the issues actually become more prevalent. Far better to face the hurt we feel and heal it than it is to smother it with food.
Great point Stephen, in fact when I first read the sentence that the link between emotion and food is recognised by virtually everyone I immediately told myself “no it’s not, we are still all eating chocolate” and then I remembered, oh wait the link actually IS recognised by everyone just we often disregard it and actually promote eating as a way to numb ourselves from the issues, but what we don’t realise is the damage that we are causing both by overloading the system with an amount of sugar it cant handle but also burying emotions within the body
Amazing to hear how you went from being so attached to the comfort and safety-net of chocolate for a long time, but when you actually started looking at the issue that came BEFORE the chocolate and addressed what was happening even before you took the first step towards the cupboard it was much much easier to let go of and stop the habit.
It is lovely with what you have shared in that you didn’t give up chocolate to loose weight or out of self-loathing (to fix something), or to do with a mission but because you felt what it was doing to your body on a energetic (and physical level in being racy) level. It brings to home that we really do hold our health in our own hands, it is just a case of loving ourselves more.
It’s so true Vicky. As I step by step build love in my body I am experiencing less cravings for foods that do not support me. It really is a case of loving ourselves more.
The incredible truth about our bodies is revealing itself here on these pages through this blog and all these comments. It seems very clear and apparent that the more care our bodies receive, the more we are able to listen to what they actually require, and this in turn gives us a vital body that is a joy to live with. This to me is worth giving up chocolate for.
Sugar, sweets, chocolate and many other foods simply numb and bring a false sweetness to life instead of feeling reality and choosing to live lovingly from within. This is an amazing realisation presented to us by Universal Medicine bringing the real knowing and healing possible for everyone. It has allowed a deeper understanding for our health, vitality and inner consistency and foundation to develop and live as a way of life. Thank you Nathalie for sharing what is going on, the why and the real choices we can make.
Nathalie what you’ve shared with Chocolate is something that I can apply to all areas of my life. There are often habits or addictions that I don’t want to be there. The focus before Universal Medicine and one that still can come up is wanting to “fix” that issue – the end result i.e. if I don’t eat Chocolate all will be great. Whereas what I’ve now come to understand, something that I’m constantly learning to apply, is to look at what is behind my reason for doing something and healing that. Then the desire for that habit or addiction naturally drops away and has no longer a hold. I’ve not reflected on this as much as I could have so its great to read your experience with Chocolate and what giving it up for good truly means. In many cases for me not wanting to feel some form of sadness or hurt has meant I’ve built up a plethora of patterns and tools to escape with. Great to see them for what they are, thank you.
Thanks Nathalie, this is great to read, showing that will power is short lived, and ending any addiction comes from dealing with a hurt. The rollercoaster pattern you describe with chocolate and sweet food could be the same with someone with and addiction to alcohol or gambling for example, and you have shown the way to address these addictions is by being honest, addressing the hurts and reconnecting to your body, that is ..meeting yourself!. What a great program for anyone with addictions.
What an awesome blog revealing how we use food to mask how we are feeling. I also used to do this with sugar and chocolate and am still working on how I use other foods to avoid what I have reacted to or don’t want to deal with. Our relationship with food is a big one with the ways we use it and ultimately abuse our bodies when in truth food is medicine and can be used in a very healing and nurturing way.
I’ve noticed that the term ‘choc-a-holic’ is often used so lightly and humorously in general conversation, which is designed to distract from the fact that it is actually an addiction. I was a sugar addict – seriously. And it absolutely controlled me for a huge chunk of my life, from a very young age until around 42 years old when I first started attending Universal Medicine presentations and receiving support from esoteric healing practitioners. When I trace back the origins of the addiction, it clearly stemmed from childhood hurts – from not being met as a child for the sweetness that I was, so I set about seeking sweetness from outside of myself to fill and numb the gapping hole and emptiness I felt on the inside. So the process of healing has involved getting honest about this and reconnecting with my body in a way that has enabled me to hear what it had been trying to show me for years – actually feeling how awful chocolate and sugar feels in my body. I’ve come such a long way in 5 years and I am learning to deeply appreciate this in myself, as well as accept, live, love and honour the most incredible sweetness that I naturally am.
Hello Nathalie Sterk and thank for this article on chocolate. I loved what you are saying about sugar and ‘sweets’ here as it is the same for me, “I became aware that I was getting more and more sensitive to sweets and I started to feel the effect the sugar had on my physical and emotional health.” and also, “When I went to bed I could feel my racy pulse and uneasiness inside, which made it hard to fall asleep.” The physically effect on my body with both of these is huge and I don’t ever remember being this aware of it. This is where it hit me hardest, in the how it makes me feel and why I choose not to use sugar and sweet like I have in the past, this is ongoing for me. Thank you again Nathalie.
This is a very powerful awareness you share Natalie “In the end it became very clear that this was a pattern that I no longer wanted in my life and so I started to make choices that helped me heal the hurts that had forever kept me imprisoned, a victim of my past.” This is the same choice I have come to with alcohol and numerous foods that don’t agree with my body and well-being. Choosing how I feel becomes the very clear choice when ultimately I have found that what I am consuming is physically hurting me equal to the emotional hurt I thought I was choosing to cover up.
Lately I have been feeling that food has a more powerful affect on my state of mind than I have allowed myself to be aware of. Recently I discovered that I started having very negative thoughts after eating something that I could feel was stimulating and not supporting my body. I could feel that I had tried to use the stimulating food to ‘manage’ some anxiety I was feeling but it only made me 10x more anxious. When I allow myself to feel the truth my cravings for foods that don’t support my body just drop away.
Thank you Leonne, great sharing! I’ve also found that with a commitment to feeling clear and steady I don’t get cravings for food which I know aren’t supportive at all! They simply drop away.
Thank you Natalie I don’t think you are alone on this. It is interesting and great to know that all that is needed in order to break free from an addiction such as this is to find the real sweetness we crave; the sweetness of caring for, loving and treasuring our self as we all truly deserve. Then these things just seem to drop away without even trying to give them up.
Thanks Nathalie, I recently read an article that said the cause of addiction is not what we think it is, this was based on a study that concluded lack of connection with other people was the true cause and connection was the remedy. We have so much to learn about why we make the choices we do, and how to value the things we truly need in life as a basic foundation to live as a human being.
This makes a lot of sense, Melinda. Disconnection from ourselves and others hurts us the most because we no longer feel the love which naturally fills us from our head to our toes and energizes us through life. We then eat to fill the emptiness, to avoid the painful separation and as a false fuel to keep us going.
Yes, Janet, and why would we continue to choose that false fuel, knowing that our true fuel is so absolutely gorgeous and glorious? There are many factors to consider here, not all of them obvious.
I’ve often wondered how we can pass off as normal, the question, “What is your poison?” as though it is totally normal to have at least one poison, if not, several!
What’s the source of such thinking? It doesn’t feel normal or natural to me.
Great point Coleen. That it is normal to approach our lives and our hurts by knowingly poisoning and numbing ourselves comes from an energy that is so unnatural and so far away from our natural glory.
Yes Janet, eat, smoke, snort, inject, drink …we can find so many ways to numb the sadness we feel from not having that connection and love with our friends, family and community. If drug addiction was addressed in this way I suspect we would see a much more solid healing from addiction. Not simply abstinence but genuinely not needing to numb anymore
When I try to give up something it has never worked. I can’t even quite describe what happens I just know that my body no longer wants something and then i don’t eat it. The thing is I can never know when my body will do this. With chocolate for example I knew that it made me feel snotty, thick in the throat, sleepy and dull but I would eat it while wanting to desperately to give it up. Then at some point I just stopped eating it, there was no more fight to keep eating it, want to have it or need for it.
Yes, I can relate to that, Sally, as I kept eating chocolate while desperately wanting to give it up. For me, it wasn’t until I connected more to myself that I was able to stop.
It is the same for me too Sally Scott. I will eat something whether it is what my body needs or not and then all of a sudden, I can’t eat that thing anymore, which is very strange for me when I look back at when I was younger, and I lived for chocolates and sweet things to make my day more enjoyable. It’s amazing what choosing to listen to our bodies and some self loving care does.
On re-reading this blog Nathalie I am reminded of how my body use to respond when I ate chocolate. I would get itchy ears drums, I would feel super racy on the inside and then very flat after a while and I would look again for more chocolate. I would often wake up the next morning with a blocked nose and feeling very nauseous. Even though my body was speaking very loudly, it took 7 infections over a 12month period before I began to consider how my diet was affecting my immune system. Choosing to not eat chocolate, sugar,gluten and dairy has been a huge support to my health, in fact I have never felt more well.
I was so addicted to chocolate I didn’t know I was addicted. Eating a block a day became a regular part of my life I stopped questioning why, actually not sure I ever did question why? It was not till the teachings of Universal Medicine that I began to understand true care and slowly I started to notice the impact chocolate was having on me. Chocolate was my drug of choice, today love is.
It is liberation when one can see clearly what is going on beneath all the layers of behaviours that we have mastered to deny being ourselves. Then it is no longer about the drug at all.
What grabs my eye is the sweetness in the last phrase: “published with permission of my mum”, the lovely relationship that you have now after sharing and healing old hurts shows in your blog. And I have a feeling that it has had an effect in you giving up chocolate and sweets. Healing the lack of attention you had from your mother and being in a loving space without holding grudges, makes space for you paying that attention to yourself.
Right on, Julia, the healing of old hurts has been a major contributor to being able to give up chocolate. I have a lovely relationship with my mum now, having worked through it for many years.
This is beautiful, I can really see now from this blog Natalie how chocolate and sweets are used to push away those uncomfortable feelings, but it’s actually those feelings that can take us to deep healing and liberate us from been controlled by hurts without even been aware of it.
It is ever so sweet and beautiful in the true meaning, your healing of your hurt with your mother!
This is lovely Julia. I was also struck by this sentence.It is beautiful to feel how old hurts can be healed and relationships renewed when we approach our life and our hurts from honesty and self responsibility.
That was your choice and mine Nathalie (!) for soothing away unwanted feelings. Eating is a very common behaviour to deal with unwanted emotions. And eating chocolate is all the more convenient as it is socially acceptable and readily available in any local shop. I could therefore stay oblivious as it would appear I was not doing any harm (after all it’s not drugs, alcohol or cigarettes!). But I’ve come to realise over the years that even the foods that might ordinarily be considered healthy can have the same affect on me as chocolate used to have, for example nuts – will give me a numbing effect or sweet fruits will speed up my system, they are both very soothing to eat when something is there that I don’t want to feel. I love your sentence “no amount of chocolate can ever fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences.” It just goes to show that the only way to stop the addictive behaviour is to deal with the emotion that calls upon it.
I know, Rosanna, chocolate IS socially acceptable, and at ANY time of the day, more so than alcohol and drugs, and I used to eat chocolate at ANY time of the day.. I used to hold grudges to the grocery stores for making chocolate so convenient. I also remember wishing I would get some strange skin reaction or something (green spots?), – so it would force me to stop, – anything so that I didn’t have to take responsibility myself.
But as you say, and I agree: “the only way to stop the addictive behaviour is to deal with the emotion that calls upon it.” Well said.
Yes Rosanna,
Chocolate is a very insidious drug – it may be legal and socially acceptable, however, because the effects can be more subtle than taking hard drugs, you could be addicted to chocolate for an entire lifetime without ever realising you have a problem… whereas with with other substances, such as alcohol, cigarettes or drugs, you are more likely to hit a turning point sooner where you say ‘no more’ and can see there is a problem to be addressed.
Thank you Nathalie for sharing this great insight into addiction , its true whatever the addiction and it seems we can be addicted to any thing, there is always a reason why we keep the habit going, it is not until we go to an honesty of what is happening and why , then the truth if we are open to it is made clear and the underlying need is exposed in us, without the need to blame another or use a substance to keep it buried . In that awareness the habit has no hold because we see it as it truly is.
Thank you Nathalie – I can so relate to this blog
Oh how I can relate to your delightfully honest sugar story Nathalie. I too was a chocoholic. I can even remember buying Easter eggs for my children, eating them all and then having to go out and buy more! Like you I have been able to renounce the dreaded addiction as a result of slowly re-connecting to my body with the loving support of Universal Medicine and the incredible practitioners, and realise that my mind might have liked chocolate but my body didn’t – it hated it! And I don’t miss it one little bit!
Wow Nathalie, this is exactly what I needed to read today and sums me up very well! I am currently within this viscous sugar/sweet cycle and have tried several times to quit chocolate but I just end up indulging even more.
I am starting to grow more aware of the effects such as the raciness, constipation and irritability. I have even concluded that it keeps me awake if I consume it after about 2pm. (Yes, I’ve worked it out to a fine art!). But none of this has stopped me eating it. Not yet anyway.
I can be very sneaky and clever in the way I purchase and consume it too as there is a level of shame knowing what others will say. “Two hot chocolates in one day?! How indulgent!!” …
I feel empty without it some days but, with the support of esoteric practitioners, I am beginning to understand, that it is this emptiness within me that triggers the cravings. If I am low or tired, lacking confidence, bored or sad, I reach for sugar. This has always been the case. Even if it’s not chocolate, I’ll find a substitute like cereal which gives me exactly the same hit.
The truth is, that this exhaustion/sadness/boredom is a symptom of not loving myself, and looking for love outside of myself. So, day by day, I chip away at the issue and work at loving my self again. It can be challenging, and I’ve definitely given into chocolate many times but I know that one day I will no longer need it, and your article is very supportive and inspires for me to keep going. Thank you!
Tiredness was and still is at times the main factor for me to slide into old habits of indulging in foods that feed a comfort/need. They can even be healthy foods that have nourished me in the past eg: nuts, crackers etc. To watch that my plate is not over full as the quantity of said meal can also leave me feeling in the same discomfort – my eyes wanting to see a full plate – the opposite to what my body is really telling me! Thank you Nathalie for this inspired open/honest sharing with us all.
I love what you have written Nathalie, and I can relate I have played so many games when giving up chocolate as well falling into the illusion of raw food cacao not being choclate. The will power game became self fulfilling cycle of failure.
Understanding myself and commitment to being honest is what has led to real change.
So true Nicole, the mind is a very tricky thing indeed, imagine convincing myself that I am not eating chocolate because it is pure cacao. Funny thing is, it has the same effect in my mouth and on my body, just like the full dairy milk chocolate. Mmmm need to keep looking at that emptiness I am really trying to soothe and fill.
Nathalie I remember years ago being on an elimination diet and sugar was one of the things that I cut out, cold turkey. This gave me such an appreciation of the emotionality in how and why we eat. It was very challenging and certainly did not last beyond the period that I was on the diet, which was 6 weeks. So mind over matter may work initially, but it does not last. I no longer eat a lot of foods, but gain real comfort in nuts. What is interesting with this is that I often eat them when I am not hungry and I can overeat too. It’s like I am watching myself in slow motion eating them, knowing that I have no need to eat them, but have been overtaken by a desire to eat. I’m in the process of tracking back to what leads to this desire. I can feel how I eat to sabotage myself, especially when I feel very strong and confident within. So this way of eating is actually a way that I use to stop me from feeling this. So interesting to observe….
I am with you Jennifer and the nuts. Very interesting to observe indeed, although I am eating far less nuts at the moment, I still eat them when I am not hungry at all. They make me feel very heavy and I also eat them to sabotage myself. But I am not telling myself that I cannot have them as this does not work. Nuts is like chocolate, different flavor but all the same at the end of the day.
What you share about ‘mind over matter ‘ Jennifer has never worked for me either! I could never just give up sweet things as my will power isn’t very strong! I also have eaten for comfort when I am not hungry and watch myself in the action of choosing something, which my body does not want but my emotions do. In going underneath the emotions and supporting myself with the issue trigger … hey presto… no urges to eat what my body is not supported by!
This is brilliant Nathalie, everyone with a chocolate addiction (or any addiction for that matter) should read your blog. For me I knew the chocolate thing all to well, but mostly whilst reading it brought me back to a period in my life when I was giving up smoking. Although I wanted so much to give up, I struggled with this as it was serving a very real purpose in my life ~ it was suppressing and soothing my hurts, giving me a false sense of being able to cope with life. I understand the process you went through all to well, thank you for writing and sharing it with us. The world needs to read stories such as these.
Yes, Anna, giving up smoking (or any other addiction) is similar. There was no way whatsoever that I could have given up smoking until I got the point where I was willing to be honest about 3 things: what it was doing for me ie what it allowed me to avoid feeling, how much this avoidance pattern controlled my life, what it was doing to my body. It felt very freeing to have this awareness, and I was then able to give up without a problem.
Yes, same for me in giving up smoking, it became a letting go of smoking because I went beyond to the very uncomfortable and felt what needed to be felt within, and from there with honesty I came to the truth of why I was smoking. As I worked on this, the smoking was not needed anymore and it was the greatest feeling of liberation to not have it and I have never ever thought about it or being tempted since. However in the past when I worked on giving up smoking without going to the true cause, I never really gave up because the addiction was constantly hankering at me.
This is such a great topic to talk about Nathalie…one that so many of us can relate to. We get hooked on sweet foods from a very young age when we are rewarded with sweets for something we’ve done well, to soothe a hurt (ie. we fall and graze our knee and are given sweet to soothe us) or for being a good boy or girl. So we learn that sweets equal love, or so it seems as we experience loving gestures from those around us in the form of sweets. This then sets us up into our adult life to keep seeking sweet foods when we don’t feel loved…but it isn’t love we’re craving from others, it starts with us, and the love we feel from within ourselves that we are craving.
Excellent put, Sandra, and I totally agree. It starts from very young, and for me it turned out to be a strong addiction to soothe and comfort me for not feeling loved. Basically, the chocolate cravings have been about not having loved myself all along..
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure so many of us can relate, just substituting another word for chocolate. I have often reflected on my relationship with ‘treats’ that began in my childhood and how they are used as fillers for love. My week was marked by the highlights of a lolly bag on Wednesday, fish and chips on Friday, roast and chocolate on saturday and an icy pole on Sundays. The focus was never on feeding myself with my own love or the love in my relationships. It constantly kept me looking forward to the next treat and I started to believe this was the way to make life sweeter. Although I eat really healthily I still use food to make me feel better or take away an uncomfortable feeling. Like you I know this will pass as I relearn to bring the focus back to loving and supporting me.
I don’t know of many children who would have grown up without being given ‘treats’ – as something special, Fiona. This is so endemic. And the ‘treats’ were always something that left our nervous system racy, our digestive system often out of kilter…. Phew.
Your comment here has awakened a clear memory of going straight to the local shop with my weekly pocket money – to buy bubble gum (a huge amount of which was stuffed in one’s mouth at once!), and lots of 1 cent lollies. We didn’t question any of this, until the price went up… This definitely left myself and my friends on quite a ‘buzzy high’ for hours – and what did it set up for adulthood, but the same seeking of treats and the need for them at a certain point of the week. None of this was questioned, and all of it undoubtedly contributes to rates of ill-health, diabetes, and the rest today – and the prevalence of chocolate and lollies that remains at our supermarket counters.
I was more into savoury than sweet however savoury foods were used in exactly the same way as you describe Nathalie…to numb and or check out when things weren’t going well, and I didn’t want to look at what was going on.
I tried to give up gluten 18 years ago but couldn’t get past not having bread – how could I possibly live without bread? I made many gluten free loaves of bread in an attempt to continue eating bread but they never worked out, and so I went back to having gluten. At the time it was more of an idea and I wasn’t feeling the effect of it on my body. Seven yrs ago I decided to give up gluten and dairy. I was more honest about how they were affecting my body but even with this awareness, gluten was easy to drop, however dairy took 6 months to let go of- and the most challenging to give up was cheese and the comfort that brought. Eventually it went as I ate less and less until one day it tasted horrible, and that was the end of dairy as well. Having a level of honesty and willingness to look at why we need these foods is when true and long lasting change will occur.
I can relate Nathalie, I have not only used chocolate and sweets as rewards but all food. I go from being disciplined to being careless time and time again. It is only when I deal with my emotional or psychological issues that I am able to refrain from over-indulging. I have also found the more joy and greater vitality I have in my life the less need for chocolate and sweets.
Nathalie you paint the picture of chocolate addiction very well. In the early nineties I read a book about drugs called “From Chocolate To Morphine”, so the addictiveness of chocolate has been known for quite a while. Amazing how, even knowing that, it is legal and heavily promoted like alcohol and cigarettes! However your story would be of benefit to the ‘victims’ of addiction: everything is a choice, and by choosing a self-loving way, the grip of harmful behaviours and indulgences can be broken.
Dianne T, I couldn’t agree more – it is amazing, that it is not only legal but heavily promoted. It is very clear that when it comes to money making industries like sugar and alcohol, our governments and society as a whole is so corrupted and greedy for the income of these goods that we are completely blind to reality and the long term consequenses that needs to be dealt with further down the road.
Sugar is the drug of choice for nearly the entire population of the planet. It is an enormous industry and the health complications and strain on our health systems and economy is beyond huge. I understand your addiction Nathalie from personal experience and know how disastrous this is on the body. The industry is built from our own indulgences and irresponsibility of not dealing with our hurts…so I love your story of responsibility and claiming yourself back from the daily poison that is supporting humanity to dampen and deaden themselves to such an extent that it becomes ingrained and normal. When you haven’t eaten sugar for some time and then you have it again, you can most certainly feel that it is definitely not normal.
“Sugar was my way of sweetening up my life.”
As a child growing up, when my parents spoke about sweets, chocolate or cake they would use a deeper more enticing voice – they knew absolutely that this was bad for you but through the voice it was accepted and succumbed to. If we are willing to be honest we do know how toxic sugar is in our bodies and how we use it to override our feelings. Thank-you Nathalie for this super honest blog.
Chocolate was not my thing, I used drugs and alcohol to numb myself to the fact that I was never cared about when young . As soon as I started caring for myself I no longer needed to take drugs and alcohol. It is that simple, we just need to deal with the underlying reason of why we are doing this in the first place, then the drugs drop away
Nathalie, this blog might as well be the autobiography of my life. I have not eaten chocolate for many years now after a life of addiction. I can look at it, smell it, have people wave bars of it in front of my face and there is no urge in me to eat it.
How does that happen when once upon a time in my sad past, jut the thought of being without it for a day used to put me in a cold sweat?
There was a point when I got to know 2 things about chocolate. It was a balm for my wounded psyche, and it was making me physically ill. Those 2 moments of honesty helped, but what made the giving up process fire right up for me was the fact that I started to attend to the wound.
Yes, I got to know about myself and started to take care of this body of mine, put myself to bed at a time when my body wanted to go, and to see counsellors who were wise and looked after themselves too. I started to eat great food that agreed with me. Chocolate started to stand out against a background of that much care.
The ‘hook’ of the sweetness and the creamy texture no longer pierced my flesh. There was a greater sweetness to be savoured that was innate in me. And I no longer felt the craving for the creamy thickness which just clogged me up with a sludginess that masked the pain and the emerging loveliness. Once I felt that drugging dullness the appeal was never the same.
The wrestling match with the chocolate makers ended, with a fizz, rather than an explosion, and never have I celebrated a change in my life with so much joy.
This is a blog in itself Rachel – a powerful sharing.
I can relate to no longer being tempted by chocolate whatsoever. And that really is the stand-out here from Nathalie’s article, that if we do truly take care of ourselves and tend to our inner issues and hurts – gently and lovingly, with the deepest honesty – the props we once used to keep ourselves going and/or numb ourselves from an inner pain, no longer have a place. I can only attribute this myself to the astounding work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, without which such inner changes would not have occurred for me in this way.
And this, from someone who was once such a dark chocolate-based ‘dessert queen’, that people at my table could only moan (and not speak) when they ate my creations. These simply no longer have a place.
Haha Rachel Mascord this is excellent! Very enjoyable to read!
I so relate Rachel – for me it was not so much the chocolate (although I enjoyed it a lot until I really felt the yuckiness of it in my moth, the sticky sweet dull taste, and that was that then). The letting go of it as you describe it occurred for me with coffee – making a choice as I truly felt into my body, and just by making that choice the perceived need for it fell away from one second to the next, with not a single thought, urge, desire or wish for ever drinking it again. It is simply gone.
I agree Nathalie we are entirely responsible for our own choices and as adults we need to look at our childhood hurts and deal with them by getting the necessary support if needed, as otherwise they get in the way of leading a fulfilling life.
Yes Elizabeth. I have found the same. Effortless is the word.
I was the same Jane. I would start buying chocolate easter eggs as soon as they came out on the store shelves and eat them. was I getting in practice? A day without chocolate seemed like an impossibility. In fact I recall that there was a period of my life that lasted about 4 years when I would eat a LARGE bag of liquorice bullets every day on my way home from work and eat them until I felt sick.
I completely relate to that cycle of eating so much chocolate that, like the remorseful hungover person you vow never again, only to fall over again the next day…
More and more people are waking up to the harm that sugar causes. To actually stop eating sugar however requires more than the awareness that it is bad for your health, it requires a person to first be honest about why they are eating sugar in the first place. If this is done then the behaviour can be addressed.
So so true Luke when you say…’ It is simply not enough to say I’ll stop eating something because it makes me feel sick and its unhealthy. I’ve tried this method again and again… it does not work in the long term.’ Will power is thought to be such a powerful thing but it is not – a battle is set up which keeps us in such unease. Only when we have found out the root cause of why we behave in a certain way and can really feel the truth of it, is it possible to let go a bad habit. Otherwise, as you say Luke, it just comes back to haunt us.
Nathalie, I can well related to having a sweet tooth. Once upon a time a trip to the supermarket invariably meant that I would also go to the confectionery isle while I was there and stock up. Then if I had it in the fridge or cupboard I would keep eating until it was all gone. Naturally, my body wasn’t impressed! Over time since attending Universal Medicine workshops and having sessions with practitioners I have learned that using my will power to give up wasn’t the answer: I needed to start from the inside and work out. As I have done this bit by bit, I have lost the urge to look for sweet things to eat and wow – that feels amazing!
For so long I had an ideal diet in my head about what was good and bad for me and my family to eat. This became a great focus of my time, and often set us up to fail because we could never satisfy these imagined ideal standards. So, recently I decided to stop trying to force myself in to a different pattern of eating and just allow myself to eat whatever I had a craving for – but I promised myself that I would feel my body all the time. This helped me very deeply because once the effect of the food was actually felt, the impact of it’s elements on my body was acknowledged, it became very easy to not only say no to these foods later on, but to not crave them in the first place because in a sense, it is my body which is being allowed to make the decisions about what it needs, and not my head from perceived ideas. This has also helped me to stop imposing my ideals on to my family, allowing them the space to discover their relationships with food for themselves.
This is a great blog about self honesty, self awareness and the results it can bring.
This is a great sharing Natalie as it is challenging the common belief that chocolate is a normal and day to day sweet we can consume without any problem. Like so many other comfort foods that have established themselves to be on a normal daily diet for most of the population. Just thinking of common breakfast that generally involves any kind of sweet pastry often garnished with chocolate. Every day at the end of school picking up our daughter I observe how it is normalized that parents reward their kids with chocolate, cake or any other sweet food. I have been often judged for being hard and not letting the kids enjoy the passion of food for not providing them constantly with sugar and all those delicious tasty things. How have we come so far that we just accept so called food that makes us sick, unwell and alters our awareness to be part of our daily diet?
Nathalie, I was never really a chocoholic, I enjoyed the occasional piece of dark chocolate, however I liked other things like cake and biscuits. Until you really understand why you eat something. Willpower isn’t enough to stop, once you get down to the root of why you eat something and bring understanding to it, it is so much easier to realise that when you have that connection to yourself you don’t feel to eat it, because there is no emptiness to fill up.
Natalie, I can relate to your blog so easily because of the relationship I had with alcohol. It was common place for me to say ‘never again’ when I was hungover but it I would end up going out and drinking again to dull what I was actually feeling – sometimes the next day. You could say I was religious about the way I drank yet what is interesting is since I started esoteric healing sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners I found alcohol incredibly easy to give up. I started to look at why I was drinking and whether I actually enjoyed it which I knew I didn’t and it became a thing of the past. In the last three years I’ve had half a beer and no intention of drinking any more.
“it all came from a need to ‘fix’ the problem rather than from choosing a genuine and loving care for myself and my wellbeing.” Your words jumped out at me Nathalie. It’s interesting how we see the chocolate, alcohol, drugs, weight etc. as the problem that we have to ‘fix’ instead of asking ourselves “How much do I truly care and love myself” and seeing that as the problem that I might need to address. Once we start to question what’s behind the choice we are getting closer to what is really going on.
What you share here Natalie is very powerful. So often when looking at addictive behaviours and patterns we think will power is what we need to stop. The underlying reason as to why we do them is not looked at.
Food is such a great reflection and as you shared, it doesn´t work with your mind to let go of stuff you feel is not right for your body, it must come from the care for yourself within. I read everyday, where I was at, in what I ate. To be honest with myself and not hard, if anything slipped in, is the best way forward for me.
Yes chocolate is a big one! I have found the two most helpful thing in giving up drugs like chocolate, alcohol, indulgent emotions etc was 1) to deal with my “stuff” and heal my issues so that I started to feel yummy inside and 2) to connect to how horrible these things made me feel. Once I had a lovely new experience in my body it became easier for me to make a choice to not do, say or think something that would clearly disconnect me from that. The Unimed Living Meditation Sphere offers lots of great free audio that help connect to that yummy feeling inside include a Yummy Gentle Breath Meditation – http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free/meditation-for-beginners/yummy-gentle-breath-meditation.html
As a child I had a serious addiction to sweets. It coincided with the separation of my parents, so no real coincidence there, but I definitely used them as a way to dull what I was feeling, or as you put it ‘bring some sweetness to me life’ when I was feeling there was none. As I got older I started noticing the affect that it was having on my moods, which would be a rollercoaster of giddy happiness and deep depression. I started by trying to manage my blood sugar by using nutritional supplements, but I was not addressing the root of the problem, I was only trying to keep it covered up so I could continue to eat sugar.
Eventually I realised that the sugar I was consuming was in order to cover up a deep sadness within. It took time and patience, along with a deep dedication to allowing myself to feel that I am worth feeling like myself, before I was able to truly let the need for sugar go from my life. But now that it is gone, I really do not miss it!
Addiction to chocolate is no different to any other addictions we have as they all support in the numbing so we don’t have to feel what’s going on. Honesty is the best cure for addictions as it asks you to go deeper and feel why there is the need for the addiction. This is when true healing takes place as we start to deal with all the hurts that have been experienced in life.
This is a brilliant post. There is a simpler way to look at addiction and that is to see it as a repetitive pattern of behaviour that we choose to go into in order not to feel something else. When we look at it this way we realize that there is no difference between someone who chooses drugs and alcohol and someone who chooses chocolate to bury their hurts, and so in this regard there is no judgement when it comes to addiction when it is seen in this light. It is simply a choice.
Hello Adam Warburton and I love this, “There is a simpler way to look at addiction and that is to see it as a repetitive pattern of behaviour that we choose to go into in order not to feel something else.” We can relate this to many things and it takes the stigma that is often associated with addictions and also brings in more responsibility. Often we can compare to others to again make ourselves feel better but all ‘addictions’ are as you say Adam, simply “a repetitive pattern of behaviour that we choose to go into in order not to feel something else.” Thanks Adam, a great addition.
Well said Raymond and Adam. It’s about real honesty, isn’t it – something I know in myself is ever-deepening, to truly get to the root of why I may choose certain behaviours that do not support me as fully as those I could very well choose.
The honesty to state what’s going on – and then the choice to truly honour oneself, and do it differently.
All of which I have found to be supported no end by Universal Medicine’s presentations and therapies. What an amazing and powerful process to undertake with oneself – that can have far greater repercussions through our relationships and communities if we truly give ourselves a chance.
Imagine if chocolate, for example, no longer sat on our supermarket check-out counters, and there were no longer whole aisles full of the stuff… We can all head there, but it takes some diligence, work – and yes, the responsibility for our own choices.
Great reflections Adam and Raymond – there is no difference between an alcohol and drug addiction and being addicted to chocolate. It is all a choice – a choice to escape our pains and hurts… at least for a moment.
I agree Adam, it doesn’t matter what the repetitive pattern of behaviour or substance we are addicted to is , it always comes down to a choice.
Absolutely Adam, addiction has so many facets and we can choose from alcohol, drugs, sweets, religion, sports, food, TV, porn, games, there are so many ways to numb ourselves with to not to feel and to deal with our origin hurts. It comes back to our choice and not to be the victim anymore.
Thank you Natalie. What an awesome unfolding and healing. I could relate to your sweet teeth as I he’s to eat, well very easily over eat chocolate and sweets. They gave me me that comfort feeling too and sweetened the misery I felt at that time. I loved how you humorously told your story.
It’s interesting how we comfort ourselves with food. Even though I don’t eat chocolate anymore I still do this with other forms of food. Seeing as the soul reason for eating food is to simply nourish our bodies, why would we choose to eat anything that we don’t actually need? When viewed like this it makes it seem ridiculous that we choose to eat for other reasons than to nourish ourselves.
I understand how you talk of feeling ‘soothed’ or ‘numbed’ by chocolate or sweets, for me alcohol played a bigger part in my life but when I stopped drinking alcohol sugar in other forms replaced it, such as chocolate. It was a long process, I slowly let go of sugar from my diet, but now I am feeling so great and I have a connection with myself which is unbalanced if I have sugar. It feels amazing being with me with (less) need for substances that numb me.
Hello Samantha Davidson and I agree sugar is a huge one for me and I still feel the effects of it at times. As you say sugar effects me and gives me an ‘unbalance’ or really it actually disturbs the clarity I am use to feeling. The effect can linger as well, so the few minutes of supposed enjoyment can often lead to many hours and sometimes a day of a lingering unclarity. This I can see is when the choice comes home, what am I not wanting to feel in a moment that leads to me having something that will disturb me for hours later? It would seem that a choice just to feel what is there in the ‘moment’ would be a simpler option. Thank you Samantha.
Yesterday, I had taken the time to make a lovely lunch for myself to eat at work, and I thought nothing of it, until a few minuets after finishing it, one of my coworkers asked me to support her to look after herself more and take more care of what she is eating and drinking. I was really surprised she would ask me, but I shared with her what I got from your blog when I read it that morning – that if she is wanting to get fit and eat healthily because she doesn’t like her body or because she feels she should, it won’t last long. But that if it comes from wanting to care for yourself, and really truly feeling what all the sugar and junk food is doing, then its far more likely to be sustainable. It allowed for a lovely conversation and I also realised that I am always willing to support someone else, but need to equally support myself in every aspect of life.
I love how Nathalie can express openly and honestly with her mother especially talking openly and honestly about events that Nathalie found difficult in her childhood. “We now have a deeper understanding, love and connection than ever before” – the connection Nathalie has with her mother now is very beautiful… is a great example that when we take responsibility for our choices and heal our hurts our relationships change.
Nathalie great blog to point out that it’s self care and love not will power that stops addiction. One realization I had with myself and sweets- it’s like when I gave up smoking I new I could never have another one, that I had said good bye and that door was closed, locked and sealed. I feel the same with sweets, say goodbye and accept that it can never comes back even for a small visit. I love being with me so much the choice becomes clearer.
Kim that was similar when I stopped biting my nails. I recall the moment when I recognised that I would never bite my nails again. I have also not looked back.
I am really amazed of these strong effects sugar has in your body. Sometimes I wish it would cause similar effects in mine but everything I experience is a raising heart beat as well as getting tired very quickly and that often does not keep me from eating strawberries or gluten free cake. I feel deeply that for me it`s more about a strong commitment to love my body and to feel what is there to be felt when I have a sugar drive instead of making this unloving choice.
Thank you Nathalie all the way from Oslo, what a powerful article. I deeply connected to what you have shared here and learnt so much. Realising the positives of not eating sugar is amazing when the world is so in fear of losing it. And replacing “I am craving chocolate” with “What I really craved was to be truly met and deeply loved.” – Would truly change the world. By becoming honest, and listening to our bodies, true change can be made. Thank you for sharing the part of you that never gave up (something to appreciate for me also) – and simply allowing the time and space to come for things to change.
Fantastic blog. it makes me realise that I too have that same addiction, to many other things other than, and including, food. Such as needing people to be a certain way, needing to be liked or favoured, craving to play sport and having a good and exciting time to liven up my life. these are all addictions. I am enough just being and living from and by me. Thanks Nathalie.
Great Sharing Ben! Those addictions are all one and the same. It is us not wanting to be us. “I am enough just being and living from and by me” that is an awesome line and so true.
We can be ruled by our addictions no matter whether they are certain foods, drinks. smoking, drugs, TV, or our emotions and the first step to being able to let go of them is to be honest and admit that there is an addiction. How truly inspiring to read how you have taken the responsibility to let go of the addiction and now feel the rewarding changes this had made to your body and mind.
Oh how chocolate has a grip on so many people. I don’t think you were alone in your love for sweets Nathalie, but you sure are an amazing women for kicking it and continuing to look at why you were eating chocolate in the first place. A true healing has taken place here and seems like it will continue to do so the more you deal with all the underlying issues. Your awareness of your hurts and the help from all the practitioners is a true miracle for how much change can happen if we are willing.
Lovely to read and feel how this part of you that just ‘knew’ never gave up Nathalie. What if we all have this inner direction and sense? What if in appreciating and valuing it, it can speak louder? Perhaps then these situations become less about sweets or chocolates or other habits and more about connection and honouring us – as you sweetly show.
Nathalie thank you for sharing your awareness of why you were eating chocolate and how you healed the addiction. I could substitute worrying, that was my go-to place when life was difficult, and of course there was no power in that! I now appreciate the opportunities to keep going deeper with awareness and the worries are very tiny now, replaced with appreciation and joy.
It is so true Nathalie, self-restraint doesn’t work! What you share offers great insight into how we can handle our addictions and more importantly to never give up on yurself no matter how many times we go around and around repeating the same choices. The main thing is we always have a choice but our choices are not who we are.
Nathalie, this is truly beautiful and written in and with the sweetness that is truly you. A sweetness that no scrumptious bar of chocolate can match up to. And believe me, I know — sweets, chocolate and I were bosom buddies for most of my life. I wouldn’t say I don’t salivate these days when I look at sweets — I ogled at the picture in this article of all the yummy looking eclairs! — but my will to stay and connect to the sweetness in me is now so much stronger. A taste of chocolate in the mouth will give me momentary sweetness, whereas me connecting and caring for my body will give me the exquisite sweetness of me all day. No chocolate bar can come close to that.
Beautifully said, Katerina. We are only looking for sweetness on the outside because we miss the divine sweetness we are on the inside. As you say, nothing compares to that quality of love and care for ourselves and others – it fills us up with a feeling that no sweet wrapper could contain.
I can relate to this blog, I used to live on a diet of freddo frogs and chic milk to relieve the pressure of the day. No matter what I did I couldn’t give this up, maybe as you say for a day or two then I would crumble and go more extreme. It wasn’t until I started to have esoteric healing sessions that I was able to put an end to this pattern. Now there is more refinement to go but I notice the difference when I do make changes.
‘It was easy to think I would manage to stop right after I’d had a feast! Right then and there I had had enough, I felt sick, emotional, sad and racy, and thought to myself, “that’s it, I’m done”. But I was just like people who have hangovers that tell themselves they will never drink again… until the next weekend, or even the next day.’ That’s a great passage Nathalie, describing the vicious cycle that is addiction. And what an interesting phenomenon it is. We can feel sad and sorry after the binge episode, feeling the impact on our body of our actions, only to do it all over again as soon as the immediate pain has gone. Getting in touch with the underlying source of tension is key, as you discovered. Congratulations, I know how hard that is!
Although I no longer eat chocolate and haven’t for many years, I can still feel that there are others foods that I use to fill the void of not having to feel what is going on around me. The big one at the moment is nuts, particularly macadamia nuts. I have made it a focus of late to watch when I reach for a handful of nuts and when I feel I do this, I am pausing to feel do I really want to eat these or am I reaching for them because there is something that I am not wanting to feel. Usually it is the latter. Sometimes I still choose to eat those nuts, other times I feel not to and although I haven’t cracked this one as yet, I have the awareness of how I am using food to dull my awareness and with this awareness I know that this habit will slowly change.
I can relate to all you’ve said here Donna. When I make the focus the food that I ‘shouldn’t’ be eating, I have absolutely no chance of there being any true and lasting change…it is only will power, and that can quickly go out the window…conveniently forgetting how awful I might feel after eating something! It’s only when I look at the why. Why am I reaching for xyz food? Is it a certain time of the day, week or month and if so, what’s going on…what has led up to me craving or wanting it? It’s only been by addressing underlying hurts or issues that I’ve been able to walk away from chocolate, sweets and cakes … I was relying on them to sweet up my life until I started to do that from within myself.
What you share here is so important Nathalie. To understand why people have an addiction to sugar (compensate their childhood hurts) and also what ill effects it has on our health like raciness. Once we start to self care, self love our life can change. How amazing that you have transformed the relationship with your mother and that she has given the permission for this blog to be published!
Great observation and experience here Nathalie, your words on the effects of going sugar free:” I have definitely become more aware – more aware of my feelings, more in tune with my mind, my thoughts and reflections. I am learning to truly connect to my body and to honour the signals it gives me”. Awareness is everything, it makes life more alert, crisp and clear; stimulation via chocolate or sugar has the reverse effect and also dulls the otherwise true enjoyment – of ourselves and of life too.
Thank you for sharing your story Nathalie. The only thing that could ever stop me from eating chocolate was the effect it had on my belly. I never realized it also affected the way I felt. About three years ago I started to realize that sugar didn’t just make me fat but is also dangerous to my health. It wasn’t until I stopped eating refined sugar that I noticed how my behaviour changed when I did eat some sugar. It turned out that the mood swings and anger fits that I had been experiencing all my life were related to my sugar intake. Without it I feel so much better but as long as I don’t get to the bottom of the why I want to eat it I am still tempted to eat some once in a while or at least something with natural sweeteners.
Thank you Nathalie for your healthy contribution on, for me, this most insidious of all addictions. This substance for most has been there since our very early years, and yet do we actually need it? What does it actually do for us? It is inspiring for me to hear of your coming to the resounding conclusion that the cycle of abstaining and making up for lost time when partaking once more, was not something you wanted to choose for yourself anymore. For me I know that sugar is the perfect tool I’ve used to keep me from feeling what I don’t want to, so its the perfect temporary delay, because I know full well what is there to be felt will still be there once the temporary ‘cover up’ has faded – so I ask myself, why wait?
When I tell myself I have to stop eating a certain food, I will mostly last for one day, think about that food a 100 times and end up eating it even more the next day (or the day after…). So for me it is not about telling myself I cannot eat certain foods but to really be honest and observe why I eat certain foods. In my experience, I then don’t leave the food, but the food leaves me, as I no longer need it.
Beautifully said, Mariette. Using discipline to eliminate something from our diet does nothing but make us miserable, as we have no relationship to what is really going on for us and why we are choosing what we are. Being honest about what we are eating and why opens a gateway for love to return to the situation, which heals the emptiness we have been trying to fill with the food. I love this – “then don’t leave the food, but the food leaves me, as I no longer need it.”
I agree Mariette, when we don’t make it a rule that we can’t eat certain things, but just simply become aware of how we feel after eating them, there is definitely a time when as you say “I then don’t leave the food, but the food leaves me, as I no longer need it.”. It can often take a little while for my head to catch up with what’s going on in my body, so I might continue to buy a certain food and only twig to what’s going on when I have to throw it out because it’s gone off! This doesn’t happen for me with what I consider to be treats – stopping eating chocolate was a conscious choice but it was one that occurred over a period of time, without any force or struggle to stay off it. It still blows me away that I don’t even think about eating chocolate anymore – I used to have no control over myself when I had it in the house. I’d eat everything in sight all at once. Now it’s completely gone from my life.
Mariette, I have found the same to be true. It doesn’t matter wether it be chocolate or even something that I do. If I tell myself I cannot or mustn’t eat or do it I set myself to fail and bring such attention to the subject matter that it becomes constantly there in my head. I love how you describe that once you’ve been honest about why you are eating such foods they leave you.
I like that Mariette, the foods leaves you, I have experienced that too, it is not in my sphere or consciousness any more. When I used to feel like a reward chocolate and sweets would be my first thought but this is not the case any more. There are occasions when I see something that looks really enticing and there is a fleeting thought, but no more than that as I know that the harm it does to me is never worth the few moments of reward that it offers me.
Mariette, I love this ‘I then don’t leave the food the food leaves me’. Your comment has given me so much to ponder on.
That’s beautiful Mariette. “I don’t leave the food, but the food leaves me, as I no longer need it”.
I love that too! When I no longer crave that morsel of sweetness or moment of stimulation in the mouth it is because I am enough and my life is enough just as I am.
My family will confirm that I am a person of little willpower, so I have always find diets of any kind very unappealing. Like Mariette I would try and not indulge and so put desirable items in hidden locations, but that only slowed me down. I found that especially with sugary items like sweet biscuits or ice-cream once I started I couldn’t stop, so I’d eat until my belly hurt and then feel really lethargic and all my good intentions for the day would be gone. I then needed something to cut through the body heaviness, and would have several cups of coffee … total madness. And I wouldn’t know what to eat for nourishment because my digestion was completely out of whack. However, these days I can join my colleagues for morning tea, or walk down the biscuit aisle of the supermarket without a tug most days. If I do feel a tug I know it’s because I’m feeling out of sorts, and once that feeling is recognised and truly felt I’m back to myself again. So how did I do this – by learning to connect to myself and honour me, a process which did involve support from esoteric practitioners, as well as learning that the issue is never about the food in the first instance, but about how I am with me.
Nathalie. I know your feelings on beating that addiction called CHOCOLATE. It took me years to beat my addiction, and I do not miss it now. WE all know what chocolate can do to the body, with all that sugaring it.
Hmm, for me it is not the chocolate, but the sugar which I still fall for. And as for you, it sweetens up my days which are not so lovely. And especially when I exhausted myself during the day – then the sugar kick is always a welcome solution to pull me up. You may think now I eat tons of candies and put sugar in my drinks etc. No that’s not the case.. I do not use refined white or brown sugar for years now, but you can find ‘sugar’ everywhere in the food. Fruits are more sweet than in my childhood. Self-made nut balls and cookies with honey are fine, but too much of it… ‘sugar’. Popcorn or maize cracker… ‘sugar’. I know where to find it when I need it. But going honest with me why I need it, like exhaustion, and working on that, helps me to eat less and less of ‘sugar’.
Being addicted to diary-sugary food for not having to stop and feel what is there to feel inside, weather this is misery or glory, is a familiar one for me. And just like you wrote, Natalie, it doesn’t stop with will power it asks to go a lever deeper inside and make different choices.
Colleagues at work often marvel at the fact that I don’t eat chocolate. They simply can’t understand why anyone would want to live without it. I know that I feel 100 times healthier because I don’t eat it, and the temporary comfort I would get from it is simply not worth it. It seems that people ‘need’ it so much as a coping strategy and can’t imagine life without it.
I work in an environment where expensive and ‘good quality’ chocolate is on offer daily. I used to love chocolate, but have no difficulty resisting the constant offers to partake. I can see how food can be used to tempt, control, manipulate, my consistent refusal keeps me free of the games that people play.
Nathalie that was such great timing for me to read this. I too have struggled with chocolate and these days it’s carob but like you I also know that the time is coming when I will not need this anymore. I look forward to this day.
Yeah it was chocolate for me first, then carob, then gluten free and dairy free, refined sugar free chocolate, and since I made the choice to not do any of them anymore, the dates came in. As of now, they are also on their way out again…
Homemade carob is a great transition away from chocolate. In recent weeks, I have deepened my connection to my body and my essence, seeing all the layers of behaviours that I have chosen to deny my true self and feeling the immense sadness of this. Even though I have seen all of these for some years now, I felt ready to get really honest and go there and WOWIE, I’m not making carob anymore. It is a reminder to be really gentle with ourselves because by committing to love and evolution, the changes and shifts take care of themselves.
I too have had a chocolate addiction to sweetens hurts, to bury the pain I was feeling on the body. It definitely felt like comfort eating chocolate. What made me stop was no longer wanting to feel the raciness on my body, Suffer from hypoglycaemia and insomnia.
Nathalie this is such a great article. Your perseverance to find the truth about your ongoing need for sweets and chocolates is inspirational, It’s very easy to go for sweet treats but they do nothing except give us a belly ache after awhile. It’s amazing the changes that come about when we start to self care and deal with our hurts – it begins to be joyful just being in our body, that’s a great place to be.
Great article Nathalie, there is so much behind our choice to eat a certain food – and here I was once thinking it was all about the chocolate!
I like how you say Amina, that you feel like you have your life back, since I have stopped most sugars in my diet, I too feel the same. More honestly , I feel the life I have now, was not at all possible when I was over eating sugar.
I would agree Leigh and Amina, I lived a half life when I ate chocolate and other stimulating foods, the more awareness I came to, the more the reactions I would have to such food and the less engaged in life I was able to be. I remember eating dark chocolate and latterly even one tiny block would be like switching off a light in my head, totally transforming my mood and brightness to a spaced out disengaged state. It was incredible to feel the change this substance made to my wellbeing, and it was this awareness of the change that eventually stopped me making this choice.
Yes Stephen I have noticed that the less sugar I consume, the more connected to my body and clear headed I feel. It’s amazing how sensitive my body is now to certain foods and I can detect the smallest disturbances caused by what I eat.
Dear Nathalie,
Thanks you for this very real account of wanting to eat chocolate so badly. It all sounds so familiar. Although it wasn’t chocolate for me I have had this same kind of relationship with food – with me the type of food would often differ, but the intensity of wanting to go on eating is the same. It has been stunning for me to discover how I have not been eating for the sake of the body’s true wellbeing but for the sake of wanting to assuage some feeling inside me, or stop myself from feeling a reaction I have had to something, or to reward myself –some years ago now I used to love, in the holidays, going out and sitting under the trees in the garden after lunch, and reading a novel while scoffing a packet of BBQ corn chips! A double addiction. I remember saying to my now ex-husband – why do I enjoy reading about someone else’s life so much – does this mean there is something inadequate about my own life??
How very true Lyndy – If we want to loose ourselves in someone else’s world, be that a book, TV show/drama, film, sibling or our own child’s life, then what’s wrong with our own one (life)?
Lyndy – i can really relate to this, ‘It has been stunning for me to discover how I have not been eating for the sake of the body’s true wellbeing but for the sake of wanting to assuage some feeling inside me, or stop myself from feeling a reaction I have had to something, or to reward myself’, Im much more aware of this now, i can feel that overeating for me is an addiction and it feels awful when i do it, it is great to have the awareness around this and slowly I am changing this, i feel so much lighter and more me when I do not overeat and i’m realising that I need to deal with issues as they arise rather than try and fill myself up on food as this never works.
Hey Rebecca, I also tend to overeat. It`s an old pattern und started more than ten years ago. It occurs especially in the evening when I am with myself and the whole day is there to be felt. Although I know that I should stop I often don`t do it. Afterwards I feel awful and always say I will not do that again. But it happens again. I feel more and more that there are big hurts underneath my overeating and I have not fully decided to go there and face them yet, but I will…
Dear Nathalie,
So lovely reading your journey to giving up chocolate. For me food in general has been a big comfort, so much so, that even when I felt something that I was eating, was clearly not supporting my body, I would stop eating it, but found myself resenting my body for not being able to tolerate that food, especially if I really liked the taste of it. For me the honesty was the beginning, to fully let go of the food, I then have to accept in full what my body knows, without a doubt.
I’ve definitely done this too Leigh – stopped eating a food because of how badly my body reacted to it, but started eating it again thinking I ‘should’ be able to cope with and tolerate it. I did this with nuts for years – macadamias in particular… Every time I ate them I got spots, felt pretty bloated and tired too, but I couldn’t watch my family (who LOVE macadamias) continue eating handfuls and handfuls without feeling angry at myself for being so sensitive… Eventually I did claim that I was in fact probably mildly allergic to them, and I’m now macadamia free 🙂
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly how we use food and alcohol to fill the space that we have not filled with ourselves. I have also used foods (chocolate included) to numb, soothe and relieve this restlessness and uneasiness. I can also relate how in the end I was finding that these foods were making me feel sick. And how by going deeper and exploring why I was choosing to eat these foods, has offered me the opportunity to heal hurts that I has been carrying for a very long time.
Carola I too now gauge what foods my body needs by how I feel after eating it. I didn’t use chocolate or sweets much but I have continued to eat foods that I feel sick from afterwards… this is becoming less as I listen and give up these foods.
An amazing story Nathalie, the cycle of addiction is a tough one to break and one that lives in more people and in more way that we would care to admit. Chocolate wasn’t my drug, but the process you describe is such a solid way to truly deal with any issue and I have also found the esoteric modalities very supportive in keeping the process real.
Yes, it can be chocolate, ecstasy tablets, an obsession with exercise, being a workaholic or alcohol. And so much more. We can use all sorts of things as vices that we become reliant on, addicted to because deep down we simply miss ourselves.
Yes Katerina, it is just that, we miss our tender, delicate selves. Food, or whatever the behaviour, are just the symptoms. It is so liberating to finally feel this and then it really is effortless, a natural choice.
I agree Joel, the esoteric bring it back to why the addiction is there in the first place. Heal from the inside, not try and stop it from the outside. Keeping the process true and real.
A former chocohilic I can totally relate to how you describe this addiction. What’s great is that your list of things you noticed after having given up chocolate: “I have definitely become more aware – more aware of my feelings, more in tune with my mind, my thoughts and reflections” are exactly the reasons we go for chocolate… to avoid our awareness, block out our feelings and to be racy enough not to have to reflect!
Thank you Nathalie for sharing about your journey with quitting chocolate. I went through the same struggle, I was very much into cakes and chocolate to comfort myself and give me a bit of a boost when I was low in energy, which was most of the time. Only when I came across Universal Medicine and was offered some true healing was I able to let go of this substitute for love. And I was able to re-connect to that place inside where I am love and allow myself to feel this deeply.
It is simply not enough to say I’ll stop eating something because it makes me feel sick and its unhealthy.
I’ve tried this method again and again… it does not work in the long term.
The reason it doesn’t work is because you aren’t eating the indulgent purely for the indulgence. We are eating it because of our unresolved issues.
I know, from personal experiences, if I want to kick a bad habit I need to address the root cause to why I’m doing this bad habit in the first place.
If I don’t I’ll be in constant denial, going backwards and forwards thinking I’m making life changing progress. But really just going around in circles because in some periods of my life I’ve kicked the habit while 2 weeks later it returns once more.
For many years I never believed I would stop eating chocolate, I just found it so soothing whenever I felt less than great, and I also noticed I used it to dull myself down when I felt really energised, so I was using it for every reason possible. Yet eating it always left me feeling drained and it started to affect my sleep. I believe the more we are aware of the effects of the food we eat, the more willing we are to consider if they are supportive. As you share Nathalie, ultimately if we care for ourselves and have a growing level of self love then there is little discipline required to not have foods we know harm us, it is just something we slowly realise we no longer wish to consume.
Oh wow Nathalie how amazing are you to give up chocolate. I certainly know how it is to give up chocolate. I would eat chocolate every single day, I never had a weight problem so it was easy to eat it every day. I haven’t had chocolate for six years now, and I don’t miss it because I would rather feel good in my body and not sick from eating chocolate. I still have a sweet tooth and someday that will go to, I certainly don’t get the sugar cravings that I used to have.
It came to me the other day that food is now a substitute for nicotine addiction. Many, including myself, kicked the nicotine habit, years ago when presented with clear evidence that it harmed our bodies, but then transferred one dependency for another, food. Food is a more insidious drug, because it is readily available, and in abundance, everywhere. When used with discernment it’s a source of nourishment, but when not, it becomes an obsession, easily affordable, and very accessible fix. We find it everywhere, at home, work, rest, school, play, street, train, every activity centres on food. We have lost our true relationship with it. Once the key to human survival providing nourishment and energy for daily activities and often where one meal a day sufficed, now, especially in the western economies , eating is often unrelated to hunger. It has become a constant and unconscious activity throughout the day: meal times, in-between meals, in bed, on public transport, at our desks, in cars, walking. No wonder there’s an obesity epidemic in the West. We know that many people use food to compensate what is missing in a person’s life, love, relationship, affection or to dull down emotional hurts. But it’s effects are short-lived, before we reach out for the next hit. Food manufacturers know this and often produce food that tempts the palate and leave us wanting more. Advertisers have become adept at selling food as a substitute for partners, friendships, love, sex, happiness, ‘A mars a day helps you work, rest and play’ Need I say more.
Great points you raise here kehinde2012, especially about how food advertising is everywhere and is very tempting. Just a quick read of food labels in the supermarket and I notice that there is sugar added to things like chicken and bread. Crazy! We as the consumers have to become more aware of the effects such hidden sugars are having on our bodies. Diabetes is one of the fastest growing preventable diseases of the western world.
Wow I love this blog because I could relate to every single word. I never used to have a sweet tooth as a child, always leaving easter eggs half eaten. But as I got older and school got more intense and I got more tired, the more I turned to excess sweets and sugar. And I used to justify it because I was eating less sugar than some people. And like you, I have tried many times unsuccessfully to quit sugar, throwing everything away and swearing never again, and then a few days or weeks later, eating sugar again. But like you found, really change has only come about when the choice to stop comes from truly feeling the damage the sugar is having on my body, feeling the deep exhaustion hidden under the sweet tooth. Its still a massive work in progress, but like you, I know one day I will get there and I won’t give up.
Rebecca, you make a great point when you describe that others around you ate more so that justified having the sweet food. That can be another factor that can make it easy to continue eating foods that don’t support us, we see others indulging too and so consider it normal, yet our bodies deal with the consequences and the only gauge of whether a food is right or not is how we feel after eating it.
Natalie, this is a very needed blog ,because it adresses any formof addiction. And even I I have no sugar addiction I have other addictions. I am touched how lovingly you hold yourself during your process of letting go sugar.
It is such a great realization to consider that eating chocolate is actually a way to bury our hurts. That puts our “sweet tooth” into a different perspective because avoiding our hurts is actually not very sweet for the body.
its true that sometimes when we know something is not good for us, we will choose not to have it for a few days, and then ‘reward’ ourselves with indulging a few days after.
I have had this yo yo relationship with many things, convincing myself I am not addicted because I can go a few days without – but really it is all the same.
When I am not addicted, the thought does not even cross my mind to have that thing. There is no attraction, and I honour how I feel in my body more than my cravings.
So I love this very honest account of how you have changed your relationship with sugar based on changing your relationship with you.
I have spent my life moving from one vice to the other; smoking, drinking, food, relationships and others that have come, gone and forgotten. These were things that were used to numb myself and worked well for most of this life to stop me from feeling anything. I would stop one and replace with another and kept on numbing. My old friend sugar would often fill the gaps. I am now more aware when the dark chocolate tries to pull me and I have to feel why are the feelings/thoughts even there? Even fruit can sneak up on me, a few cherry’s is part of your daily 5…yet a small pint is now a head ache for me.
Nathalie thank you for sharing. Sugar is a challenging one for many, like you say it is related to deep hurts and when we have not dealt with these hurts we use sugar as a form of comfort so we do not need to feel. I remember as a child I loved sweets more than chocolate and that was the same as I became an adult. I never really ever tried to give up sweets, but as I started to deal with my hurts, the cravings for sweets became less. Now and again when I feel I need sugar, it’s often because I have over pushed myself and my body is feeling exhausted. Still work in progress as the occasional hurt does appear.
My constant companion was cheese(and crispy treats) – any type, colour size, and shape. I ate enough of the stuff for a large family of four in a week all by myself. Is it not a wonder I had sinus issues, digestive problems felt lethargic and suffered with many headaches etc etc. It was the one thing I turned to when feeling down, sad, lonely – it was a constant, always there sitting in my fridge saying eat me – a complete distraction and numbing food. A cover up job of not dealing with my past hurts. So I can really understand your comfort of consuming chocolate. It amazes me still when we start to truly listen and feel what is right for our body there is such a clarity to what we are doing to it that causes such inner dis-ease. Bringing honesty into our lives and choosing to take the self loving route with the help and support of the Esoteric Practitioners is a great combination. For me gradual changes and the constant tuning in to my body has made a vast difference to my life. So thank you Nathalie for sharing your journey with us.
Well said Marion, I like the way the way you talk about bringing honesty into our lives as I know I have found this to be key in terms of addressing our issues as we all so obviously know what is going for our bodies and it is not even that we are too ignorant to see it, it’s that we are too arrogant to change our choices
Thank you Nathalie for your honesty. Our addictions are many and come in various shapes: from chocolate and alcohol to emotional dramas and manipulation. Facing my addictions has sometimes not been pleasant and when I tried using will power, like you, I would end up on a roller coaster of famine or feast, giving myself rewards for being ‘good’ for a couple of days, making up for my abstinence with a feast. Most of my addictions have fallen away by being aware of what I am doing and why I am choosing to cover up past hurts, however, there is still a way to go towards fully loving myself for who I am.
Thanks Nathalie for sharing your story. I have had concerns about what drives me to eat something – I know that I’ve had something to eat when I’m bored and anxious. I don’t have a specific food, pretty much anything will do, but all the better if it’s sweet. My relationship with chocolate was basically all or nothing, I wanted to eat it all in one go, or not have any at all. When I did eat it all I’d feel sick, and the same as you, I’d swear to not do it again…until next time. Learning why I do things like this with food is so important, and liberating to understand and get to the TRUTH of what is really going on.
I really could connect to your loneliness in this phrase: ” I felt incredibly lonely because I felt less important to her than her TV and chocolate. I went into my room and cried for not being met or seen just for being me, a beautiful little girl. So, of course, I ate more chocolate. ”
The emptiness is so real when we abuse ourselves with food alcihol drugs and the like! THANKS to universal medicine and Serge Benhayon I am not in that self indulgent and self destructive cycle anymore.
” When I went to bed I could feel my racy pulse and uneasiness inside, which made it hard to fall asleep.” – Yes, and isn’t this such a yucky feeling! Great blog Nathalie
Yes I have fallen into the trap of using it in a recipe for the taste and then laid awake for hours not being able to sleep and in my racy head. An excellent way to keep us away from who we truly are and to arrest and delay evolution.
Nathalie that’s really awesome. After having a sugar binge I can definetly feel the affects of sugar- the next day my head feels sort of blurry and it’s hard to consentrate. It’s really obvious that sugar is used as a comforter for something I don’t want to feel. It’s quite clear when there’s that ‘ahh’ feeling. Yet it doesn’t last long and the aftermath is often worse then not feeling what’s going on.
Nathalie I can relate very much to your blog. I use to love chocolate and could never imagines life without eating it. I would reach for it everyday for the same reasons that you mention here, to sweeten up life. If I was feeling a little down or I needed a little pep me up, chocolate was the answer to all of my problems, however the little high it gave me was very short lived. Once I started dealing with my issues as to why I ate the chocolate, little by little my chocolate eating habit simply dropped away. It’s been over five years since I have eaten chocolate and I must say, I don’t miss it one bit.
I’m noticing the many ways I have made food an integral part of my life’s experience, along with an ingrained cultural belief that eating and drinking is one of life’s pleasures. So it has been epic to shift the relationship I have had with food. I have found a new relationship and connection to my body that is far more supportive of the simplicity I now live my life.
Emotional eating or comfort eating to numb feelings is so common. Its great that you recognized what was going on with this pattern Nathalie and you took the steps to heal the hurts.
Will power is always short lived and is just a band-aid – true healing is always the arrest of the root cause.
Thanks for sharing Nathalie, I also use to love chocolate, but it is true to say my body didn’t if I am honest. As I have now taken most sugars out of my diet, if I do eat something sweet I can feel an uncomfortable underlying buss and racy feeling. It is revealing to look at our food cravings and when they arise, usually when I do not want to feel the depth of something.
We think about chocolate as something sweet and soothing, yummy etc. But it is not like that at all. That’s why I find it so false and hideous. If you first taste it, it tastes sweet, but underneath lies a totally acid layer of taste, bitter and even foul (from the fermentation process), it gets really slimy if you let it be in your mouth a little longer. I prefer poison that looks and tastes like poison. Chocolate is a poison that tastes like paradise… who invented it?
Willpower just doesn’t cut it! I’ve tried using willpower to stop myself doing a certain behaviour, be that eating chocolate, baking a cake or even phoning an ex-boyfriend when I knew I shouldn’t, but it never worked for me. There was always a sense underlying the trying that I needed to get to a root cause of why I wanted to do that behaviour in the first place. All I needed to do was first be very honest with myself and trust that I knew the reason why deep down, even if I pretended I didn’t. Great blog Nathalie, this I’m sure will help many people.
I ate chocolate recently and when I went to write how my body felt I realised I could not feel it, like my ovaries or breasts that I tune into to feel normally I can feel a warmth and expansion when I focus my attention yet after eating chocolate nothing, I was numb. Incredible how powerful a drug it is. I am inspired by your sharing of how developing more love an self care was the way out of a vicious cycle of addiction.
Vanessa I can relate to that numb feeling when I eat anything too sweet, especially chocolate. It takes a while before I feel myself again.
Thank you Natalie for sharing so honestly. A great confirmation of the healing and responsibility that you have taken for your life.
I don’t have so much of a craving for chocolate, but icing sugar does it for me – definitely an addiction requiring willpower to say no and that I don’t seem to have. I understand the craving comes with exhaustion so I am checking in with why I am so exhausted. Like you, I know that one day I simply won’t want it any more because of what it does in my body but at the moment the driving cravings are winning. Interestingly, though, as I’ve refined my diet more and more I am feeling more of the effects of everything I eat, which is cool, because eventually I can let my body decide what I need to eat instead of my mind and my taste buds will align to that as well.
Willpower only goes so far when we are trying to kick an old habit – it works for a while, but because the underlying causes have not been addressed, it is all too easy to indulge again and even ‘make up’ for the time when we weren’t using whatever substance it is we are addicted to.
This is relatable for a lot of people Nathalie! I used to be super into my sugars too… Cakes, macaroons, anything nutty, caramel mmm it was the good life – until I realised the affect it was having on my body! Eating things like that made me exhausted, lethargic, get rashes, bloat and get super moody. What I realised was that the 15 seconds yummy ‘mmm’ of tasting it in my mouth was nothing compared to the next few hours (or more!) of intensive care and recovery. I’m still trying to eliminate areas where this pattern plays out – although it’s much less extreme I definitely still do it (eat foods that make me feel awful), but I am getting a lot better.
Chocolate and all things sweet were my addiction too. Drugs and alcohol never figured, but like you Natalie the chocolate cravings were daily. As I began to heal my emotional hurts the cravings lessened, but there was still a push pull towards it. At the time though I hated the sensation of the lingering sugary taste that would last in my mouth for 2 days afterwards. I weaned myself off from milk chocolate to dark chocolate which was quite bitter. There came a point where the push away from chocolate came and I remember clearly the last time I ate it. I just stopped wanting it anymore. For me personally that was quite a miracle!
This could be my story also, I had a chocolate addiction for most of my life. I never had a day that I never ate chocolate. I never thought that I would never ever not eat chocolate, But looking into the hurts as you did with esoteric practitioners, I could see and feel the hurts that the chocolate was numbing. You expressed your journey so beautifully. Thank you Nathalie for your blog.
Natalie, what a lovely blog. I can feel such an awful sadness in that little girl who needed the chocolate to console her for the lack of her mother’s love. And how sad that this need stayed so strongly with you for so long. It shows us how deeply we feel the lack of a parent’s love when we are young, and the way these hurts stay with us, if we do nothing about it, for all of our lives. It is so obvious the chocolate actually helps to numb that awful pain. I thank God that I was never really drawn to sweet things, I was never all that fond of chocolate, happy to have one or two, but could never indulge in them, I found them too sweet.
For me, it was the savoury things, chips etc., when it came down to it, I guess for me it was salt. Probably using it as a similar numbing device. But it never lasted for long. I was wanting the next chip, peanut butter etc. And yes, my mother also was prone to putting the spoon into the peanut butter when she thought no one was looking. Funny to look back many years later. It is wonderful that you had help to get you ‘off the hook’, with an esoteric healer. I too have found the esoteric healing work has helped me enormously with my self confidence, and as I have learned to nurture myself lovingly I seldom now have the need for the chips etc.
Thank you for your honest sharing here Nathalie. It is interesting how you said ‘because that’s what everybody else did’. This is such a powerful lesson in itself. Imagine if we were taught from young to listen to our bodies and not pay attention to what anybody else did? Would we ever be able to eat chocolate or drink alcohol? I doubt it! By not being taught this, it is so easy to accept that we are meant to live by what we see around us – numb and bury our hurts rather than feel them. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for offering the teachings that there is another way to live – one that does not involve food as a substitute for love, but teaches us to feel our bodies and develop an honest relationship with food. One where we honour our bodies with only what they need.
Nathalie this is beautifully written and powerful blog… regardless of what the addiction is. I can relate very much to what you write even though my ‘addiction’ was perhaps more moderate. I always knew will power was not the key and it was pointless trying to stop any ‘habit’ without addressing why the need for that habit was. The merry-go-round of stopping, abstaining for a period of time, then falling off the wagon and starting again as you describe is very demoralising and undermining. Those habits of mine fell away once I started healing some of what was underneath, which didn’t happen till I met Serge Benhayon in 2001. Universal Medicine has over subsequent years offered the most helpful insight into this sort of behavioural pattern – something I see affect many people in various ways.
Thanks Nathalie for giving us an insight into the hold sugar can have on one’s life, and how its possible to turn this around through taking responsibility for the choices we make. I love how you write “..so I started to make choices that helped me heal the hurts that had forever kept me imprisoned, a victim of my past.”
Natalie as a former chocoholic I so can relate to everything you have shared. It was nothing for me to eat a whole family block of chocolate all by myself when I was teenager. This chocolate obsession continued in my adulthood as my guilty pleasure. In the last few years with the support of Universal Medicine, I now have kicked the habit as like you I finally addressed the hurts I was holding from what I had experienced in life. It’s a great market for me now if I ever get a craving for cholocate that there is something that I need to address in my life.
When I read this post and look at the photo I am amazed to find that the sight and thought of chocolate does nothing for me anymore. Just 5 years ago I was queen of the chocoholics and could devour a family sized block with a packet of tim tams (chocolate biscuits) as a chaser.
I reduced my chocolate consumption significantly for health reasons 4.5 years ago as I knew dairy was making me very sick on a regular basis. And so chocolate went……. until recently when I discovered gluten, sugar and dairy free chocolate. I had a good time with this even though it felt awful in my body and I was using it like an addict for all the same reasons.
I continued this foray until my period arrived and left me feeling as though I would never eat or feel well again and guess what …. all I could taste was chocolate and it tasted anything but good. It was like having a weeklong hangover with no end in sight. I know the truth of chocolate in my body now and like you Nathalie I have no desire to eat it again.
We are starting to see more and more in the media about the powerful addictive nature of sugar, and yet it is freely available in vast quantities and in most processed and packaged foods. Given that sugar is now being recognised as being more addictive than cocaine, it’s interesting that eating sweets at work is seen as acceptable and normal, whereas drinking alcohol or taking drugs isn’t – despite having similar effects and being used for similar reasons.
Nathalie – giving up chocolate is a big one. As a multi billion dollar business that alone says how much we consume chocolate. What is different about your writing is that you share the struggles you have been through with trying to give up (reminds me of when I used to yo-yo diet) but also that it was your unresolved childhood hurts that was seeking the comfort of chocolate. Imagine, if this is the cause as to why so many of us crave chocolate, that’s a lot of people walking around with the pain of not being met in their childhood?!
As you say Nathalie addiction to chocolate is no different to any other addiction – all there to keep numbing us from feeling all there is to feel. The moment we choose to feel is the start of true healing. I’ve also had a history of being addicted to chocolate and understand the debilitating effects it has on the mind and body and the mood swings. Sugar in any form is not a part of my life now – something I never thought could happen – but it’s only been as a result of listening to presentations by Serge Benhayon and supporting myself with healing session with esoteric practitioners (as you have done) that I’ve been able to accept and love myself enough that I no longer need or want it.
Nathalie, I can very much relate to your story and appreciate you sharing it here. I was addicted to sugar and chocolate for similar reasons – to sweet up my life, to take the edge off and numb my feelings. Your experience shows very clearly that ‘trying’ to quit chocolate doesn’t work, and that you have to address the underlying reasons for having it in the first place and to heal those hurts, then there is no need or pull to have the chocolate.
Thank you Nathalie for sharing what it is like to be addicted to chocolate and sweets. I hardly ate lollies or chocolate growing up but I can definitely relate to using food or the opposite using ‘willpower’ to not eat food to control how I felt. I have found that ‘willpower’ or being hard on myself looking on in judgement of something that I’m doing is bad, has never truly changed or has had lasting effects for my wellbeing. How you have healed this through looking at why and what you were trying not to feel is very inspiring.
It is great to hear how your relationship with your mum has changed. I can really relate with your addiction to chocolate, mine wasn’t chocolate as much but anything sweet and I would love eating sweets. I have had that yoyo affect with food as well where you have a lot and then say you will never have it again … but a few weeks later ..
It is also great how you share you turned to chocolate and sweets for not being truly met as I feel that is the underlying issue for many addictions. In the end we all want to be met and loved but are we willing to do this for ourselves first?
I used to drink loads of alcohol and knew it was not good for my body but felt I would never be able to give it up completely in my life. After meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and attending courses, workshops and presentations, after the first few courses alcohol completely fell away from my life without me even making a conscious decision about it. I have not had alcohol for over 9 years now and it feels so good.
Great point you make here Vicky. I have found with things that I no longer consume, its not that I gave it up, Its that I just no longer felt to have it any more. So it was never a will power thing, but more about making different choices about how I was living my life, than then resulted in me not feeling to consume that food or drink anymore.
I find it interesting that letting go of chocolate was so much harder for me than stopping drinking alcohol.
I have found sugar one of the hardest changes to make in my life. I no longer want to eat sugar and other foods that I don’t feel good when I eat, but I take a long time to eventually stop. Alcohol for me also was much easier. It slipped away without me even noticing.
Nathalie, I can relate to what you have written here and have numbed myself with all sorts of food in the past even with nuts more recently! The only way to deal with these addictions is to heal the hurts inside and I have found that this is an ongoing process for me. At times I still find myself “attaching” to certain foods which I eat for comfort or as a craving rather than truly feeling what my body needs at the time. A great topic to share.
Thanks for your blog Natalie. When I first read the title I felt nervous, like “What, I don’t think I like the idea of giving up chocolate for good” I almost went into anxiety. Now I am not one who ever ate much chocolate in the first place and I haven’t eaten any for about 4 years because like you I became aware of how racy it made me feel and I would only ever want it as an emotional fixer or just before my period. The thing is, I probably won’t ever eat chocolate again, as I have no need or desire to, but I still find it interesting how my mind responds to the concept of NEVER again. It almost makes me want to hold on and not let go.
I think I will just carry on with just making a choice each time chocolate is presented to me… in fact someone was in front of me two days ago eating a curly wurly and I could smell it and I could remember how it tastes but I didnt want it. Why would I? I feel better with out it.
Rosie, you have just written out the whole exact scenario I had with pizza – ‘What! I will never ever again in this life and all my succeeding lives until the end of time ever have another pizza again’. I can remember finding this so challenging. I can remember a couple of years ago seriously considering having a gluten-free dairy-free pizza (you can get them in the Vanity Fair that is Byron Bay) ,but when I deeply considered what the experience would actually feel like, there was no way I could actually go there. I very easily never ate another chocolate again but walking past a pizza cafe with that tantalising smell can be quite alluring. But nothing would make me compromise my body now that I know what a precious marker it is.
It’s funny how we are all so different. With no oven on my boat even before I started doing the work I only ate pizza’s infrequently and never really enjoyed them because of the feeling of an indigestible lump of flour and cheese in my stomach afterwards, crumbed or worse still battered fish and chips from a fish and chip shop was worse.
Chocolate was different though. We always played a game to see who could make their piece last the longest and you had to show it on the end of your tongue to prove it. The winner got a second piece.
I don’t eat much choclolate but I have bought the odd bar of 90% cacao very dark chocolate, only when it is on special at half price, only twice in as many years. It has no dairy and is quite bitter but the taste, when you let a piece melt on your tongue is amazing.
Great blog Natalie. The cause of my addiction is not speaking up about what is hurting me in my life. The longer I don’t express my hurt the deeper I veil it in my addiction until the addiction becomes worse than the hurt which by then can be buried so deep in my body I might have even have forgotten what hurt me in the first place. We use smoking, alcohol, drugs, sugar, even overeating to numb those hurts.
‘I would always fall back to being soothed and numbed by chocolate instead of dealing with the hurt inside.’ This level of observation is the start to true healing. Rather than reaching for the chocolate we could stop and feel what is really going on. I know that that supported me in letting go of unhealthy eating.
Thank you Natalie for your ‘sweet’ account of what lies beneath the choices that we make.
Well said Kathryn, it is through a true level of observation that we can begin to understand and see our choices from what they really are, begin to understand how these choices makes us feel, and without imposing a exterior image of how we think we should be, begin to make new different choices based on our very well educated body
Awesome blog Nathalie it is such a great support that you have shared your lived experience. I can so relate to going into a fixing mentality to stop behaviours that don’t support me and how this simply doesn’t have a longterm effect. Choosing to deeply care for myself and build a loving relationship with me has been the truest “fix”in supporting my health and wellbeing.
Thank you Nathalie for sharing your story. I love how you knew that one day you would not need the chocolate or sweet anymore and that you seemed to accept where you were at at that moment in time. I have not eaten chocolate in a very long time but I do eat foods which contain sugar some periods. I then feel that I am avoiding to feel what is truly going on. I don’t always manage to stop and sit with myself, but I am learning to do this, learning to allow myself to feel whatever is coming up or going on. When I allow myself to stop and feel, it is not a big deal and I can just move on.
A very inspiring blog for a sweet tooth like me! I love how you knew one day you wouldn’t need it anymore, and you just allowed it to unfold.
This is so beautiful Nathalie, thank you so much for sharing! Our honesty, willingness and commitment to look at our issues, feel them and get the support needed to work through them is so important for our healing. What you have described here so simply is a process so many people go through – whether it be with hot chips, chocolate bars or alcohol. Identifying the underlying reason or emotion underneath why we are choosing to consume these things, that our body clearly does not want or need, is a key part of our healing process. It’s been beautiful to read about yours today Nathalie, and I’m sure it will be inspiration to others too.
Saying you are a chocoholic sounds innocent compared to saying that you are an alcoholic. In truth being a chocoholic is just as serious if not more so because we don’t tend to see the real harm chocolate is doing to us and see it as just a bar of sweetness. We all know on some level the damage alcohol does to ourselves and society, it is very evident. In terms of the actual quality of the life we live, we don’t tend to realise or ask how much damage not questioning why we are addicted to needed the sugar hit in the first place truly is.
There was a time in my life when I indulged in sweets too, in retrospect it was a time I held onto my emptiness and did not want to deal with it. Sugar helped me to ignore what I was feeling–temporarily, but always left me feeling awful. But what was really awful was my resistance towards my own awareness and love.
This is beautiful and touching Nathalie–no matter what our choices, our love does not ever give up on us. And we have our bodies to convey to us how deep this love truly is.
When we make a choice to heal our past hurts that keep us going round in round in circles, everything changes in our lives. We make one new choice, which then leads to another new choice, with the ripple effect being we continually make true and loving choices that fully nourish and support the body. There is no longer a desire to abuse the body with sugar or other stimulants.
Yes I agree Jacqueline that was also my experience – to made a new choice and feel what happened after this choice was so filling – I forgot that I wanted to have chocolate.
What I have noticed lately is when I eat sweet things I become less caring. I simply care less about other people and start being more preoccupied with my own stuff.
Wow Esther what a great insight. You have peaked my interest and I am going to observe what happens when I do eat something sweet which is usually a piece of fruit nowadays.
Thank you for your honesty Nathalie – your experience sounds very familiar to me, although I’ve not been addicted to chocolate (but I completely understand how one could be!) I have had other addictions in the form of food and cigarettes. I kicked the cigarettes a long time ago now, and many would consider that I have a healthy diet, however, I am aware that I tend to eat too much – more than my body needs. At times I allow myself to feel the void and the emptiness that I’m trying to fill by eating when I’m not hungry, and it’s hard to resist the pull of food. It really does feel just like a drug! Your super blog is immensely inspiring and I know that so many people like me will completely relate to what you share.
What a great personal story, we are rarely asked to consider the real reasons why we like food such as chocolate, yet it makes sense that there is an underlying emotional hook that makes us turn to the sweet or comforting food. I like you Nathalie battled with chocolate for many years and it has only been recently as I started to take care of myself and had more and more severe reactions to eating chocolate that the choice became easier to give it up.
Gorgeous to read this Natalie. I’ve encountered a similar addiction to nut butters that I’ve been breaking down over the past 2 years and I agree no amount of will power has stopped me reaching for a spoon of it when I’m stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, tired or not feeling good enough. Bringing honesty to how I feel in that moment however has, and really getting to feel what is coming up for me to clear or what energy I’ve taken on that I don’t want to feel and therefore numb has been key. This has been super challenging at times as I’ve fought my self in going there and just wanted to go straight to the check out and be fully irresponsible, making it all about me and not about everyone however as I’ve grown to love myself more by caring for myself more, bringing a quality and presence as I shower, in what I eat, the way I lift and carry things etc, I appreciate and honour myself more for the amazing women I know I am and I find that there is no struggle, I simply don’t want to put that in my body anymore because of how horrible it feels and how much I love myself.
Well said, Candida, when we choose to numb ourselves with the usual default pattern of reaching for the chocolate or the nut butter jar, we are making life all about self and not wanting to accept that we are a part of something greater, and that everything we do has consequences, not just on our bodies that get to feel sluggish, heavy or bloated, but on everyone around us who has to live with the ‘drop’, and our choice in that moment to disconnect from love.
Thank you Candida and Janet for taking this one step deeper – from dealing with our own hurts and feelings to the “next level” of accepting the responsibility that our choices and behaviours affect not only ourselves, but everyone around us.
Thank you Janet for spelling out how it is not just ourselves we are abusing by ingesting substances which our body then struggles to deal with but that this behaviour also affects ‘everyone around us who has to live with the ‘drop’, and our choice in that moment to disconnect from love’.
You have expressed it so beautifully in this blog, Natalie, it will be very inspiring for all those addicted to chocolate, sugar or any foods and drinks. It is interesting that during the war and then with rationing into the 1950’s, we had very few chocolates and sweets. I remember we had one chocolate bar that was cut up into five pieces for all the members of our family. If cousins were staying we had smaller portions. When rationing finished we all went wild and thought nothing of having a whole chocolate bar to ourselves. It seems that the dearth of chocolates led to the same reaction culturally as it did for you personally when you restricted yourself and then found yourself gorging again. This reveals how the lack of love for ourselves is endemic and influences the behaviour of large groups of people, and then it becomes accepted and normal. You lead the way by choosing and finding the connection with the Love you are first, not chocolate. If just one chooses to live truthfully committed to themselves, then others start to choose too, once they have been shown the way, and the students of Universal Medicine have been shown the way by Serge Benhayon, who lives the Love he is in every breath he takes.
Thanks so much Nathalie Sterk for this truly amazing blog. I can so relate how I tried to give up alcohol, with very similar attempts, and I was able for some time too, BUT NEVER for good.
I have given many bad habits up for good now. Through esoteric psychology and taking full responsibility for how I feel, and, support of the esoteric modalities I was able to give up smoking, Alcohol, sugar cravings, even entertainment, and very quickly in the scheme of things.
My body – the feelings and awareness it offers is another dimension – the more I feel this the more I commit to choices to cement that feeling in my body.
Rick I love the truth you have written here, that the feeling and awareness offered by our bodies when we do not numb them is another dimension which is priceless, riches indeed, worth so much more than a quick thrill tastewise or otherwise.
I know this story so well Nathalie. Huge amounts of chocolate used to be consumed on a daily basis, often being stored where no-one else would find it! If I had taken shares out in the particular brands of chocolate I really ‘loved’ I would have probably have owned the company by now.
Not a pretty picture though – every mouth-full of chocolate just incited the craving for more, and more was never enough as my body just got more racy and exhausted.
I hold the deepest respect and appreciation for Serge Benhayon and the esoteric practitioners who have inspired and supported me to find my way out of this chocolate maze-mess and deal with the underlying hurts and emotions covered over by the chocolate addiction.
Occasionally when I see or smell chocolate going through a shop, there can be a feeling of wanting a piece – but if put into my mouth it instantly feels so awful – taste and texture cloying in my mouth. My body really loves not eating it any longer!
Very inspiring Nathalie and an incredibly honest sharing with us all. I am guessing that you are not alone in this journey. I know for sure I have done that and still do at times as well. This line today was a bit of a well-needed ouch! – I would always fall back to being soothed and numbed by chocolate instead of dealing with the hurt inside – check. I have been doing that a bit lately. Thanks for the reminder that there is another way to work with what is truly going on.
I felt the same Sarah. Although, like Nathalie, I’ve dealt with my big addictions (food and others), I find the old impulse creeps back in and instead of say, seeking the comfort of cheesecake, I’m substituting with a healthier-looking nut binge. This is a good one to be aware of! And a sure sign there’s something going on, an underlying tension I’ve yet to acknowledge.
Nathalie I have always had a sweet tooth , but I have slipped back to eating between meals, this is when the sweets come into play. I need to be honest with myself about why I still fall back into these old habits, ask a few questions of myself and observe when and why I do this. Thank you for the inspiration.
Thank you, Natalie, your closing line really encapsulates the important message of this honest sharing – “to take deep care of myself and understand that I am entirely responsible for my own choices.” I too have indulged in chocolate eating for most of my life, to numb myself from the hurts I did not want to face. I now also realise that there is nothing we crave more than the warm glow inside of love and deep care for ourselves.
Choices, is what it comes down to…it was an amazing day when I realised the choice to NOT eat chocolate was because I felt more amazing when I didn’t…what more motivation could we ask for.
Janet I love your last line ‘there is nothing we crave more than the warm glow inside of love and deep care for ourselves.’
Thank you Nathalie what a valuable story this is as it highlights how there is more at play than eating sweets and chocolate just for their taste. Both are addictive as you have shown and it is necessary to get to what it is within us that is driving this choice and then addressing this. So often we think it is just a case of ‘stopping’ or ‘giving it up’ and this can work but as you have shared this does not always last or we just find something else to replace the ‘stopped’ behaviour with. I know I did this when I gave up smoking, I then started ‘snacking’ on foods more. You show in the blog how it takes honesty and a care for yourself to say ‘enough’ and really look at what is going on. This is inspiring.
Chocolate was so hard to give up. But want to ask something, why would we even want to give up chocolate in the first place? maybe because we know that it isn’t actually good for us, and leaves us wanting more and more like a drug. I wasn’t just a chocoholic I was a lot of things-aholic. I also feel so much better in myself and don’t crave chocolate one bit. I guess after a while I forgot about it and didn’t need to have it any more.
I actually feel that pretty much everyone ‘knows’ that chocolate isn’t good for their bodies and that’s why fairly recently we have made a ‘thing’ of chocolate. There are chocolate cookbooks, chocolate cafés, chocolate recipes are featured in the same magazines that advocate losing weight, chocolate at least the smell is even in cosmetics and perfumes, chocolate it seems is everywhere and it’s got a kind of naughty-but-nice tag – live dangerously eat chocolate. A bit of a conspiracy really, aimed at keeping everyone in it together consuming something they know doesn’t really feel quite right in the body. And really it’s anything but naughty or nice, in fact it is a poison in the body and the body would never eat chocolate left to its own devices.
This is so true Josephine. I am subscribed to various wholefood blogs and it seems that cacao is now the latest craze, being promoted as healthy and put into everything from smoothies, cakes, cookies, drinks and more. All the ‘natural’ muesli bars in the health food store, service stations and supermarkets. In the all the raw food cafes in the predominant ingredient, so when looking for refined sugar free treats, one is met with no choice but to eat cacao.
It keeps one racy, blissed out and in a hardness, disconnected from the loving clarity that we naturally are and always seeking the next high. It does seem like there is an energy feeding this consciousness to keep us in separation from ourselves and from each other.
People Love the newest thing and the Buzzwords. Here are the list of “healthfood” buzzwords “Cacao, MACA, Acai, Superfood etc” They are void of developing a relationship with your body. The way they are sold and marketed not for health but for money.
Interesting isn’t it. This is the latest trend in the fashionable food industry, that is in fact about anything but deeply nourishing the body, and is all about what can be touted as a ‘super food’, the next ‘thing’, THE health food we must have, or a miracle food – which in fact is all to stimulate our minds into thinking we are improving our diets and way of eating, but never asks us to feel more deeply into the effect of food on our bodies and to evolve our food choices.
Yes, the marketing messages around the expensive chocolate and raw cacao industry are very powerful. They justify us choosing to eat chocolate as they sell the health benefits, antioxidants, nutrients and brand it a superfood. However you get the same raciness from eating raw chocolate as you do the cheap stuff, perhaps more as often the caffeine content is higher. It’s why the best marker is always how you feel in your body as the temptation is always there to believe the marketing hype to indulge in a food that does often taste delicious in the mouth, but is total anguish for the body.
Wow Nathalie, thank you for your amazing unfolding experience in this blog – I could relate to much of what you expressed. I remember very clearly the ‘need’ for my day, that hour, a minute even to be sweetened – and I never equated it to the deep hollow feeling of ‘not measuring up’ and the illusion of the belief that the only way was to fill that need with sweets of some description, and despite my belief that it was just my cultural heritage, my build, my hormones, my this or my that that caused the excess weight in stones, pounds or kilograms to multiply, deep down I secretly knew there had to be a yet to be revealed root cause and issue behind the addiction to refined sugar in all its’ garish techno-colour and design.
I too have found that since I have become a student of the Way of the Livingness and expanded my understanding of the deeper issues behind my excess sugar intake that the extra baggage is naturally and gently being dissolved.
This is a great point Roberta. How many excuses, and ‘rational reasons’ do we come up with for carrying excess weight? All to avoid the deeper cause that we are not wanting to deal with.
It’s no surprise that when we are willing to go there – all the way, and address the cause of our emptiness that fuels the desire to numb ourselves with food, our bodies naturally take on their true shape.
I loved chocolate – the dairy, the sugar, the bitterness of cocoa, the soothing, the smoothness, the melting. Pretty much all of it. As I became more aware of what chocolate does to my body, I reduced it, switched to non-dairy, then non-dairy, non-sugar chocolate but eventually I looked at chocolate and my body showed me very clearly how it felt about chocolate – a bit like getting a moderate fist in the guts.
At that moment it stopped being worth it and I stopped. A few years later, the psychological addiction went as well.
I could very heavily numb myself and start eating chocolate again but that would be very violent towards myself and that makes no sense, so why do it?
A great and very familiar sharing Natalie. As I made a choice to stop eating chocolate I relaised that the times I would reach for it and miss it most were the times that I was feeling something uncomfortable or something had happened and I was looking for some kind of soother to off set what I was feeling. As I have been choosing to feel with more honesty and address what I am feeling the cravings have dispersed as I see them for what they truly are. (Which was a distraction from what I was feeling.) I now more readily make the choice to feel it all and experience what is there to be felt and bring more honesty to what I feel instead of dulling it down with food. This in itself is super liberating and empowering to feel that I am not controlled by the food and the cravings I may have for it. A loving choice to feel.
Such deep honesty and personal awareness in your blog. Everybody has something that they use to ‘fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences’ and chocolate is erroneously seen as a socially acceptable ‘you-just-need-willpower’ substance in the scheme of things. But what you highlight is that it doesn’t matter what your ‘ruin’ is, the compulsion or urge to ‘use’ it still comes from the same need to numb the pain or fill the emptiness and brings the same erratic behaviours and aftermath self-loathing and reproach as some of the more hard-core alternatives. Thank you for bringing to light the true debilitation of chocolate in addiction – and your own route out of it.
Natalie what you have discovered as being the key to giving up chocolate is the key to stopping all unwanted behaviours and that is to not try to bring them.to an arrest but to build love in the body by making more loving choices and unwanted behaviours simply drop away.
True Alexis, as you build more love in your body you cannot put anything into it that makes it feel less.
Well said Diana, It is exactly this that I would experience and it really helps when changing to a more healthy way of eating! it’s not about carbs or calories etc etc it’s all about how it feels inside my body.
I have learned that food can be used in a way to give me a ‘fix’ when I am needing comfort, feeling sad, overwhelmed, exhausted or uncomfortable about a choice I have just made. The trouble is the ‘fix’ only works for the shortest of time, numbing me to what is going on and the situation or feeling is left undealt with, only to come back again, often in a deeper form. Choosing to say no to having this relationship with food has been such a loving thing to do and each time I say no it gives me an opportunity to look at what is going on behind that craving.
That’s very honest and I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to feel what is around me, not being met by others – and therefore numbing or calming the result tension in the body with sweets. But same as you – it’s in the front row “helping” – but in truth it doesn’t at all. It separates. And that’s why it feels “good” to have in the first step, because it kills the feeling, the connection. And then the tension is “gone”. I have too made the experience, that the sugar cravings will only appear when the underlying hurt has been dealt with.
I guess the title of this blog is not right. You did not give up chocolate – you embraced love. You started to no longer give up on you. For me you did and do not give up anything – you accept who you are, feel your fullness. And as a result you do not need anything to fill gaps. Well done.
Nathalie, this is a timely article for me as I too have struggled with an addiction to sweets, despite the fact that now more than ever these types of foods do have such an effect on me – raciness being a big one. I can feel how really getting to what lies underneath these addictions and actually choosing to be loving towards self is a big part in the healing process. I also feel being truly honest with self is key and I know for me it is those times when I want to turn a blind-eye to what is there to be felt rather than feeling what is coming up for me, are the times when I can go off the rails the most. Thank you for sharing your experience, it has me feeling and really acknowledging that it is time to let the true sweetness of me out.
Great comparison here Natalie between chocolate and alcohol. We tend to not think of sugar and chocolate as being an addiction in the same way as something like alcohol but this blog shows that it is no different and the causes and consequences are possibly the same.
Very true Andrew. A recent study actually showed that Oreo biscuits activate significantly more neurones in a rat’s brain than cocaine or morphine… This has got scientists around the world questioning which substance is actually more addictive, and it’s quite shocking to think of the affects this could be and is having on humanity without them knowing it. Chocolate could be more dangerous than we think!
Thanks for this great piece of information about Oreo biscuits Susie. The sugar here is also going to be a key factor. in addiction. It is so interesting how the finger about ‘addiction’ gets pointed at certain substances like morphine, but omits to look at the effect of chocolate biscuits. It is as if the finger that points has to keep its own comforts available and act as if they are harmless so it directs attention to something else obviously ‘bad’ and shouts loudly about it as a smoke screen. Because most of us are still hanging on so tightly to those buried hurts and don’t want to go there and open them up to the healing light of day, the consumption of harmful substances to numb continues to operate unabated.
Realizing and honestly accepting that all that happens and has happened in our lives is because of our own choices is a big step. It will allow us to not only try to fix the symptoms and what is on the surface, but look at what is underneath that causes the actions and choices in the first place. When we work on the root cause, we can truly and lovingly heal.
Truly said Michael. And specifically our willingness to look at the hurts we have sustained and kept carrying really helps enormously with the level of honesty and observation we are capable of. The chocolate corporations will be out of business when we do this. For some reason it is reminding me of the day when we all stop buying the newspapers that originate from the gutter press.
I was a sweet fanatic too Natalie and so I can very much relate to the yo yo affect of trying to give up. Chocolate and sweets were my reward for the long day at work or when I was bored. It was a habit and an addiction and my skin would keep telling me that sugar was not good for me but the draw to eat chocolate and biscuits had become a normal part of my day and I didn’t put on serious amounts of weight so I was able to carry on. Learning to listen to my body has allowed me to feel what sugar and chocolate do to my body, the raceyness is uncomfortable in my body and where as before I would go into the doing and the drive to not feel this I now accept that this is what sugar does to me and I no longer want to feel this way. If I have sugar now I loose the clarity of thought almost immediately and the feeling in my body is so horrible that it is not worth the taste sensation that lasts a few moments compared with the raciness that lingers far longer.
These things that we ‘cannot live without’ often I have found come with this ‘the world will end’, ‘there is no picture in my mind of what living without X,Y,Z would look like’ and because there is no picture there is this ‘avoiding the unknown’ panic that has at times overtaken me. Plus the ‘I can’t live without it’ as if I am lesser and smaller without it. But is that not just our childhood playing out on repeat? at that point in time I was made to feel smaller and those comforts be it food, distractions, day dreaming, gaming etc where what I saw at the time to ease the pain and confusion. But like you say Nathalie I’m now a grown woman and I too have found that with the support of esoteric practitioners I understand that I need not repeat those behaviours because those triggers of behaviours and those hurts can be addressed in another way that we were not presented with back then. With this understanding our hurts no longer rule our lives.
Nathalie reading your blog it came to me just how much I’ve tried to use “will power” to stop doing something and control how I am around a certain topic (be it what food I may eat, how much TV I am watch, how I talk to people etc.) but the reality is that until the hurts that are driving that behaviour are looked at and healed then there is no true change. For me I found with chocolate it was not in the end that I gave it up it was that it no longer was something i felt to eat. Now and again I will look at a chocolate brownie or other things and want to eat it as they do look and smell delicious but the after taste in my mouth and body is not so great so I am free to make a choice.
I have a similar experience to you David. Now when I crave something sweet, I will take a moment to examine how I am feeling and what might be behind that craving. I might be hungry, but it could also be that I’m feeling stressed and want a food associated with being comforted. Because I have not eaten very sweet things for a while now, I am sensitive to how sugar feels in my body, and its not pleasant, so I give myself time to consider what else I could do in that moment to support myself.
Thank you for sharing your experience of giving up chocolate. I have until recently had a very sweet tooth, consuming huge amounts of sugar, what you have written here is very true, ‘no amount of chocolate can ever fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences’, it is the last five years that I have started dealing with issues and allowing myself to feel the sadness from my childhood instead of eating chocolate and sweets to not feel it. i notice now that if I feel sad or if something has happened in my day and i feel upset that i can eat and eat and it does not make the sadness go away, that it is much better and easier to allow myself to feel what has happened, to deal with it, talk about it and reflect on it.
I can so relate Nathalie the many years I spent on a emotional roller coaster with my sugar ups and downs. I used to wake up in the morning and the first thing I would think about is where I would get my next sugar hit! It is so crazy that this highly addictive poisonous substance is considered normal, thankfully there is a bit more awareness of the truth of what sugar does now but as a society we still have a long way to go.
I can relate to being on a roller coaster with my sugar cravings. The thing is the satisfaction is only ever temporary, and the reasons behind the cravings don’t go away unless they are dealt with. The chocolate is just a band aid, that plays havoc with the chemistry of your body.
Not only does the feelings or issues not go away, it does play havoc with my body chemistry, speeding up my heart and not to mention how chocolate really stuffs up my sinuses!
Nathalie thank you for sharing, this highlights for me how i also have used sugar to comfort myself, i have always been allowed Sweets and Chocolate from an early age it was a way keeping 4 rowdy boys quiet if for only 10 min.
Looking back i can see how i became dependent on it from childhood and how it became my best and at times secretive friend. This has only started to ease now. as i work on letting go and allowing myself to truly feel the hurt and often emptiness i allowed the sugar to numb inside me.
Wow, Andrew. Many of us I’m sure can relate — and I pondered as i read your comment — that’s exactly how so many chocolate bars are marketed. As the sweet little package we can tuck away, in the knowing that it’s there when we need it, to share ourselves with, the same way that we might long to share and open up with another. The marketing around chocolate feeds on the emptiness society is living in, a loneliness that is brought about by lack of connection with self, and then with others. And the consequence as well as increasing health problems is and ever deepening loneliness and lack of connection.
A beautiful blog Natalie and one I can relate to. I once loved chocolate, but made a choice to remove it from my life many years ago, without much drama. But because I didn’t explore the root cause of my chocolate cravings I clung on to something else, nuts. Snacking on nuts between meals is a choice I’m making to numb myself rather than surrender to love. Seeing the pattern, is a gift and an invitation to fully accept and receive love in my body.
I never realised that I had much of a problem with eating too much chocolate but looking back at my teenage years, I would eat some on the way to school and back again, along with sweets and crisps. Then at night I would sit in with my father and we would have our favourite crunchy bars, which are loaded with sugar. As I got older and was concerned with my weight and being healthy I would limit myself and believed that going on the dark chocolate was the healthy option. I did cut out a lot of sugar but it was only due to being over weight, otherwise I wouldn’t have even considered it as food has always helped me to numb what I am feeling.
It wasn’t until I came to the workshops run by Universal Medicine, that I started to look at the relationship I had developed with food and realised I was using it as a crutch to get through life.
I too have seen the idea that limiting chocolate and sweets, or eating a lot of dark chocolate, makes it okay. The problem I have seen with that, especially rationing yourself, is that when something goes wrong, you feel sad or their is a special occasion or excuse, people go all out and eat loads, using the ‘I don’t eat very much normally’ as an excuse – but in reality is that helping?
This is a great blog that is very honest. For some people it is alcohol or cigarettes that they turn to – for you it was sweets and chocolate. I love these words – “I started to make choices that helped me heal the hurts that had forever kept me imprisoned, a victim of my past.” A powerful sentence Nathalie which is the key to true healing.
I agree Rebecca a great line, being imprissoned by the past in the future is no fun at all. Living your future love now – now that is something to celebrate. The future me that is sugar free.
Thank you for sharing your journey with giving up chocolate Nathalie and how your choices to heal your hurts removed the need for numbing. Recognising what I was doing and starting to make different choices has been key for me in changing my eating habits and I now feel much clearer that even when I do choose to eat something so as not to feel it is an opportunity to look beneath and be honest about what I am avoiding.
I find that I too eat many things that are not ‘good’ for me and take me away from feeling the loveliness within myself. Chocolate was never really a hook for me but I would also eat salty chips that would spike me up and salt I find stimulates me and makes me run on a pace that is not natural to my body.
Natasha I can relate to the same, I use to use salt a lot and spicy foods to create numbness. I also use to find my self indulging in these food and then my body would be so racy. We all have had different things we use to avoid feeling and numbing ourselves.
Often we handle this ‘need for numbing’ by finding something to make ourselves feel better. It could start off with being alcohol or drugs, but turn into chocolate – which although we may think is a ‘better’ alternative, it’s actually the exact same thing. What not many people do, is look at WHY we need numbing in the first place… This is what’s so great about Nathalie’s blog!
“I am a grown woman, and what has brought life-changing outcomes has been to take deep care of myself and understand that I am entirely responsible for my own choices” Nathalie, I love what you write here. Through bringing a true awareness and honesty to how you are living you have been able to deal with something that you have battled with all of your life. This is totally inspiring and shows the importance and benefits of taking self responsibility.
Nathalie, I love the journey you have made and how chocolate played a part in this, how you have learnt so much value for yourself from rising out of what chocolate was offering you as a substitute for love. I can relate to this as I used to do this as well. In fact, just yesterday I was appreciating how much I have changed my diet and how fantastic I feel as a result ~ so much more steady and with loads more energy to be able to live each day with vitality.
Thank you Natalie for this honest sharing of your addiction to sugar which I really relate to as I am sure many others do also. Sweets and sugar have always been a staple part of my life and what I thought was a reward, a gift and a treat for my self. As from early childhood my mother would buy my sisters and myself bags of sweets for long car journeys and as everyday treats to keep us happy! This became a life long pattern and way of living which I thought gave me energy to keep going and filled me up with sweetness but was really to avoid feeling what was really there to be felt that I did not like. I became quite ill from the the effects of sugar and this racey way of living and would try and give up but this felt like a denial and punishment. It has been from the truth of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that I am finally being able to give up sugar, feel its harm in my body and choose lovingly not to have it and see the effects I no longer choose to live with. This also comes from building a more loving way of being and working on my hurts from my childhood and life also. Like you it is through true Esoteric healing that I am able to break this life long pattern and recognise what is happening and going on when I do, to look at this and it becomes a great healing gift.
I have never had a fling with chocolate but I do have with other foods (nuts/peanuts) and like you say, it is an addiction. Sometimes I can feel like a junk. Where they need their drug or alcohol, I need my certain kind of food. In the end, it’s all the same. I use it to numb myself, to not feel and even to make myself feel less great. Like you, it takes time to let those foods go and we can only let them go, when we have an honest look in why we eat them in the first place.
Hi Mariette, I too have never really had a problem with chocolate. I could never eat more than one or two at a time, or I used to feel yuk! Oh, just realised this moment, it could partly have been the milk in them. ( I never realised I had an intolerance to milk until the last few years) . But my weakness also has been nuts, and also potato chips etc., the savoury end of the spectrum. I used to find that the saltiness in these was what I craved whenever I was feeling ‘out of sorts’ from something going on in my life. This has been the hard one to get right out of my life. But the realisation that this mainly happened when I lost my connection with myself for some reason, has helped me just about get these things out of my life. I don’t usually have salt at all in my eating programme, but very occasionally, still indulge a little. It is ridiculous, I always feel absolutely awful in my body afterwards. I obviously also use salty things to numb my body, something I very seldom feel to do now. Actually I can feel it is something that is now moving to completion. No more salty foods!
It’s a great point you make here Mariette, that we all have our addictions, our drugs we reach for in order to numb a pain that we do not want to feel, to take the edge off life, or make ourselves feel a little less than amazing. For some it may be chocolate, or any other food, for others it may be watching tv, or internet shopping… It does not matter what we choose (one is no better than the other) – the energy behind the behaviour is the same. For me changing these behaviours is an ongoing process of allowing myself the space to feel what is going on, rather than immediately reach for something to push that feeling down. I do not have to have an answer, or be able to “fix” what has caused the feeling, at this stage for me it is simply allowing myself to feel and accept what I am feeling.
Thanks Natalie for this very honest sharing, you are so right no amount of chocolate , sweets or anything else like alcohol can ever fill the void or heal the hurts. I was always more of a savoury person than having a sweet tooth but I did binge on chocolate and sweets from time to time. Now that my body is not so numbed to the effects of sugary things I am totally amazed at how evil sugar actually is and the effect it does have on us. It really is just another harmful drug that is very damaging.
Yes Kevin, I recently indulged in some sweet foods over a period of a few days and found I couldn’t think clearly for the following week. It was quite alarming as I don’t eat much sweet foods anymore and it was clear how the sugar was affecting me. It did feel quite evil.
That’s so true Kevin.. it’s like we all find our comfort food or substance that we go to, to numb out or not feel. Regardless of what that food is, they are all achieving the result of taking us away from ourselves and hence they are all as bad as each other…. whether that is a sugar addiction, drug or alcohol addiction, entertainment addiction or more!
Haha yes I find this too Kevin. Over the last year or so I’ve been working on reducing the amount of salt in my diet, and the other day a friend was commenting on how bland the fishcakes she had just made were, I tasted them and found them super salty! Just from the garlic in them.. It is amazing how in the past I had no idea the amount of salt I was eating!
Thank you for sharing this Nathalie. I too had a craving for sweets and chocolate but never admitted to myself that this was an addiction. An addiction to sugar used as a prop to comfort the deep sadness I felt inside me but didn’t understand. Listening to presentations by Serge Benhayon and healing sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners has enabled me to look at the underlying cause of the sadness and to realise that my emotions are not who I am. Now I no longer have a craving for chocolate and sweets and find a natural sweetness in foods that I had never tasted before.
Great point Mary, that ” my emotions are not who I am”. So often we are coerced or manipulated into thinking that they are, from that it makes sense that we try to disguise and comfort the pain and sadness that we feel. When the distinction can be made, known and felt for oneself, the choices we make become very different indeed.
Well said Mary, ‘ I too had a craving for sweets and chocolate but never admitted to myself that this was an addiction. An addiction to sugar used as a prop to comfort the deep sadness I felt inside me but didn’t understand’, as a child and young woman I was very addicted to sweets and cakes and put on a lot of weight and I remember feeling very heavy and dull, it makes complete sense to me that I was eating these to comfort my deep sadness.
It is remarkable how naturally sweet many foods are, as you say Mary, that I also never realised before I gave up sugar. It was an addiction for me too, and although I loved chocolate, what I loved most of all was a piece of cake in the afternoon with a cup of tea! Something my mother always used to give us as children and old habits die hard. But now, with no sugar in my diet because I also no longer have the emotions that need to be filled with a substitute for me, I no longer have that craving. Thankyou Nathalie for sharing your experience.
Thanks Mary, I can definitely relate to finding “a natural sweetness in foods that i had never tasted before” now refined sugar is not longer dampening my tastebuds. I never would have guessed that celery could taste sweet!!
Mary my second name was sugar because I ate so much of it in every variation. I too was never admitting that this was an addiction. How could I be so blind? All symptoms of addiction were there: the need to know that there is something sweet at home, if not getting nervous, if there was a craving for eating chocolate and there was no getting grumpy and my mind was always turning around chocolate most of the time. It is indescribable that we are living in such an illusion that sugar or chocolate can heal the hurts we have deep inside of us.
I can definitely relate to having an addiction to food. Not particularly any sweets or anything in particular, but just food. I can now recognise when I suddenly feel like I need to eat that it may not really be hunger and to check in to my body and realise what is really going on. I am also more and more aware that it really doesn’t make a difference for me what it is that I am eating, if I am eating it to numb out, I can do that with any food.
Beautiful to read Nathalie and it reminded me of my own chocolate addiction. I would eat a whole block and could not stop until it was all eaten! I relate to the feeling of wanting to stop but then, always coming back to it like I did not have any control over it. In some way I did not need it anymore at some point in my life and it feels it has to do with what you share here: “The actual journey of ‘giving up chocolate and sweets’ however took many years, going through a lot of trial and error, because it all came from a need to ‘fix’ the problem rather than from choosing a genuine and loving care for myself and my wellbeing.” I started to develop a genuine loving care for myself and this made it easy to not eat chocolate at some stage. I remember first not eating milk chocolate and only pure without dairy, and after that no chocolate at all. It is truly amazing to feel how easy it is to stop an unhealthy and unloving behaviour, like eating chocolate, by loving myself instead of using willpower which in my experience does not work on a long time basis.
Nathalie, thank you for your honest account of how you kicked your chocolate addiction. I know exactly that it is like to be hooked on chocolate. Mine started when I was a teenager, I used to go to the local shop and buy 3 or 4 chocolate bars and eat them all at once. This carried on into the adult life and it always became worse when I was going through an emotional or stressful time, and when there was some anxiety in my life. I no longer have a chocolate craving thanks to Universal Medicine, and I know that if I have the slighted craving for something sweet that there is something going on that I should look at and deal with in myself. It just goes to show that an addiction cannot be healed by willpower but by being honest with ourselves and dealing with our hurts.
What a revelation to me Nathalie Sterk, that chocolate wil never “fill up the void or drown out the sadness of childhood experiences”. I have never looked at it that way but when I look back I have to agree with you that I too ate chocolate for soothing the pain I felt from my childhood. I have stopped eating chocolate for many years now, but I can feel that when the sadness of the childhood experiences come up that there is a tendency to take it away with food, sweet food in particular. This is now a great reminder for me to consider to look deeper into what is behind the reason I am looking for sweets and to search for healing of the underlying hurts.
I can also remember turning to chocolate to soothe the pain. And yet at the time there wasn’t the awareness that I have now of why I would want the sugar, the dairy and the caffeine. The sugar would give me an energy hit when I was feeling tired, the dairy soothed anything I hadn’t dealt with from my childhood that would come up to be felt and the caffeine but my body into a raciness which was another way I could avoid feeling. Part of me always knew chocolate wasn’t good for me, yet time and time again I would reach for it, obviously knowing that it was a quick fix to mask how I was feeling.
Agree with you Vicky, the chocolate was something I also once loved and consumed, and as you say it was a type of food that served very well to numb what was being felt, and to soothe discontent, hurt or dissatisfaction. I’ve realised from experience that although I no longer eat sugar, caffeine, or dairy that even another type of food can still be used as a replacement – even if it’s healthy, like fruit or lettuce! The key then is understanding the relationship we have with ourselves, and this in regards the relationship we have with food. Food then is directly linked to our personal evolving.
Yes, Vicky I also had the knowing that chocolate was not good for me, but I ignored that fact because the comfort it offered for all the reasons you describe. I was also soothed by the texture and the sensation of melting in my mouth, which must be like the comfort babies have when sucking on a dummy! It was an immediate quick fix to my unsettled emotions. As these emotions were constant so too was my need to fix them with an addiction to eat chocolate. The amazing thing is that by dealing with my emotions the need for chocolate just melted away. (Pun intended!)
I used to love chocolate and as when I grew older I prefered it pure and even sometimes at 90% and sugar free I told myself it was even healthy to have. I never considered the amount of cefeïne in chocolate and never stopped to feel if it was what my body wanted. The moment of pure enjoyment of the taste would make the whole world melt away as the chocolate melted in my mouth. I now can see how this was my way of not wanting to feel whatever was hurting or uncomfortable. The funny things is, I tried some chocolate after a couple of years of not having it and to my surprise i did not like the taste at all!
Soothing away the pain in seconds as we eat it and wrapping our hurts up in a big ball of comfort so that we do not have to feel what is there for a very long time. And if by chance we do feel something then we just reach for the next chocolate fix.
…and sooner or later those hurts emerge out from under the comfort blanket we have placed on top – and make their presence known to us once more … do we continue the endless attempt to silence the voices inside that can never be dulled or silenced – or take a moment to listen and observe the ‘hurt’ dissipate – no chocolate required…
I feel I ate chocolate to not feel what was going on, wrap myself in comfort where I didn’t have to take action and be pro-active in life, for the sweetness because I wasn’t feeling the true sweetness in life just a lot of emptiness and sadness and not truly stopping to acknowledge this. Feeling this now, yes, it was eaten so I didn’t have to deal with anything in life. Even though I no longer eat chocolate (which is big for me because I loved it) I still see how I use certain other foods so I can stay in comfort; and from knowing how debilitating it is staying in comfort how this is not a great or loving thing to do.
I can relate to every word you say here Vicky. I have become more and more aware of how I am eating for every reason under the sun except for the true nourishment of the body – I have very often eaten for the sake of an enjoyable experience, a real reward in the day. And I have definitely eaten to numb a situation where someone hurts me or I find myself reacting. Food ought not be a band-aid or drug, but rather true medicinal support for our precious body.
Nourish the body is the key words here for me Jane. We tend to use food not for our bodies but to satisfy our taste buds, feel good. and satisfy the hunger pains. In the past the only way I connected with my body was when I had over eaten and felt sick then it was too late as I had already done the damage to my body.
When a childhood hurt comes up it is not only chocolate that I have gone for in the past, although not being a big chocolate eater, I tend to have reached for chips, nuts, lollies, corn crips .. anything really … anything to avoid feeling the hurt.
Hi Nathalie and Nico, I liked sugary things too, liquorice mainly but for me it was salted peanuts and then roasted cashews in big quantities, I was addicted to salty foods, filing up that hurt empty space inside me that was actually bottomless and would never be filled in that way. Salt feels to me to be very similar to sugar in its effects on my body. I would sprinkle it literally on everything else I ate as well.
Finally letting myself feel and see where I had held onto things that hurt me as a child and then where they were being triggered in my adult life (becoming aware and honest) and not being hard on myself when I slipped has led to no longer craving salt or sugar either. I dont have a vast empty space inside me now and it is amazing how naturally sweet or salty food actually is now that I can taste it with absolute clarity. I found it is so worth looking at the ‘why” I needed something to numb and bury.
Nathalie I thought I was reading a story about chocolate…until I realised this is a story about evolution. Your evolution. And that’s a worthwhile read!
Yes, it is a great story of evolution. The reconciliation with your mother, Nathalie, is beautiful and is another example of the profoundness of truth and honesty.
I agree Rod. It’s lovely to read of and feel Nathalie’s evolution from someone who had a very strong addiction to numbing herself to a beautiful woman reclaiming herself and bringing her understanding of this process for many others to understand where their own addictions might be.
Hahah very true Rod.. same here, this picture made me wonder… but what a story Nathalie… far better then any chocolate when we’re talking about evolution!
A gem Rod. Evolution by putting down the chocolate bar?? Yes when we put it down with love for ourselves.
Yes – the Evolutionary diet = loving choices, not willpower or drive.
It’s interesting that we use ‘motivation’, and ‘force’ to ‘try and get somewhere’… only to find that love is the only thing that will bring about true change… and, evolution.
I’ve never craved chocolate but I can relate to numbing with food. I can still find myself reaching for food when I feel anxious. I’m learning to use these reactions to stop and be honest about what is going on. They are becoming a marker now, not so much an unconscious reaction.
Absolutely – this is relatable to everything we use for reward, to numb ourselves and for comfort.
No amount of quick fix or solution will last until we consider wisely what it is we are masking, avoiding or burying and
what lies beneath this behaviour.
This is so true Deborah. This is relatable to anything in life that we refuse to look at and be responsible for. Time to consider our choices and look deeper into why we do what we do.
I am similar to you Bernadette, i preferred more savoury food than sweet but i certainly used food in the same way as you described Nathalie – to numb and not feel the hurt of what was really going on around me.
I agree Bernadette, food can be such a quick way to numb ourselves when we are feeling something that we don’t want accept it there. I am also allowing myself to feel how I can use emotions and other behaviours to numb myself when I don’t want to feel.
I used to be a chocoholic Bernadette – at one point, eating two family blocks of chocolate to myself per day! I am so appreciative of myself for not choosing this any longer and also to Serge Benhayon for showing another way to live. But as you have said, whether we choose chocolate or other food or other ‘vices’ for how to numb ourselves – it is really just showing an emotion we are not being honest with ourselves about. It is inspiring to hear how you are using the moments of “reaching for food” as a sign to stop and feel what is honestly going on, rather than continuing in the reaction to numb your anxiety. Thank you for sharing Bernadette.
I can also relate to the experience of simply replacing chocolate for another creamy, numbing food. Reminding me of the fact that it is always about the energy of the choices I am making and not about the specific food at all.
Very true Cherise it is the energy of the choices. We can do it with foods like avocado or nuts… I have found the blacklisting doesn’t work, but it I deal with the sadness or anxiousness then I won’t need the comfort.
Yes very true Cherise and Annie, it is the energy behind it so the type of food doesn’t really matter as such. And identifying the issue truly helps in not giving in to that energy.
Hmm ladies I know what you are saying about the energy behind a food or activity and I have a couple of things in mind for myself but I am also aware that right now I am choosing to not drop deeper into my body and explore what’s going on. Now where have I put those nuts ?
Absolutely Cherise – “It is always about the energy of the choices I am making and not about the specific food at all.” – I have found that I can just as easily replace whatever it may be with something we would call a healthier food – but the truth is the energy is exactly the same – I am using it to dull, numb or not feel.
Absolutely Cherise, I can relate with replacing one numbing food with another, even if its just the quantity of food I eat, which brings it back to, ‘it is always about the energy of the choices I am making and not about the specific food at all’.
Well said Cherise, so true it is always about the energy of the choices we make.
I have used chocolate in the past to comfort me but it never became a addiction so giving it up was not a problem. However, I use foods to numb what I am feeling and also at times the quantity of food I eat is too much for my body at that time. What I am finding is that honesty is key as only through being honest with myself in feeling what is going on within me at the time, true healing occurs.
I agree about quantity Caroline, I can choose, cook and eat, the right food but slip and then eat too much. This usually dulls me for the whole day too. I have found no other organization that seriously brings awareness about food and better choices than Universal Medicine.
Rik that’s so true. No other organisation brings such awareness and understanding about food as Universal Medicine. I’ve had a lot of experience with organisations dealing with food issues and they just skim the surface.
Like you Bernadette I wasn’t really a craver of sweets, but have used food (and still do at times) to avoid my feelings. For me it has been revelatory to link anxiousness with eating, particularly nuts or other snack type foods. It can happen so fast that I can be in the fridge and munching away before I realise I am anxious. I am learning to catch the reaction and stop and feel, without reaching for the nuts, which feels great when I can do it. When I can’t I don’t beat myself up about it.
Yes and isn’t that if we just allow ourselves to feel what is really going on whether it is inside or around us then it gets more easy to not numb but instead to feel. We can of course eat a bit but “the battle” becomes more easy when we first feel and then eat if it is still needed. We dont have to be hard on ourselves.
Yes Bernadette, I had many other things that became ‘my chocolate’ as I wasn’t a chocolate lover either. Smoking, alcohol, relationships, sex to name a few. Anything that kept me distracted or numb to what was really going on. Being honest with myself was the first step in understanding and uncovering the deeper lying hurt. I love how you’ve said your reactions are your new marker.
Nathalie, it is definitely honesty & not will power that enables us to kick a habit or addiction – being honest about why we ‘need’ that substance is the start of healing, as is not being hard on ourselves.
Yes Carmin this is the key: ‘being honest about why we ‘need’ that substance is the start of healing, as is not being hard on ourselves’.
So true Carmin, being honest about what we are really doing to our self and our body when we eat things that are not good for us is key, and then asking why we are doing so…why do we feel the need to do something we know doesn’t support us.
And, I love that you put in not being hard on our self, as the guilt and beating up thoughts we can have don’t help at all, they can be just as harmful. When we take something out of our life because we genuinely care and love ourselves, it is easy, there is no trying and no will power because the need is not there.
It often has amazed me the ease I have let some foods and drinks go, and then how difficult I find it to make the choice to feel what another food or drink is doing to my body. The one thing I know is like you have shared is that with dedication to developing greater honesty and love for yourself that you out grow the need for such destructive activity. That is incredibly liberating.
Yes Vanessa I too have had a similar situation interns of food choices. Dedication and honesty are my main keys of entry into a deepening love for myself and it is as you say very liberating indeed.
You make a good point here, Amina how food makes a difference to not only our body in how it looks and feels but also how we work, relate to others and choices we make for ourselves. This of course makes sense as it is our body we take to them! And as you say this is not often considered.
Vanessa I totally agree with what you write. Some foods just fall away and others stay. My long term stayer has been sugar and just like Nathalie I have tried and tried again to give up. It wasn’t until I nominated that I no longer want to be sad that I could see that sugar was feeding my sadness. With this awareness I exposed sugar for what it was and what it was doing to my body. I’ve been ‘clean’ for 3 weeks but I noticed when I read Nathalie’s blog that my spirit was trying to penetrate my wall of love and get back in. It was an inner struggle in parts to read Nathalie’s blog.
I loved reading your comment Lindell. It hadn’t really occurred to me that a food could be feeding an emotion like sadness but I can feel this is true. This has really given me dome food for thought … or maybe food for feel….
Really great point Lindell that some foods feed an emotion in the body. When I look back I too can see how some things I no longer felt I needed just fell away like caffeine, but sugar is still an ongoing battle although I do not eat refined sugar I still have fruit which has the same effect and your comment has given me something to consider. Thank you.
What an amazing revelation Lindell “I could see that sugar was feeding my sadness”. I can now feel that how that’s what it was doing for me all those years and enabling me to bury the sadness instead of allowing it to rise up to the surface and deal with it.
Interesting point you make Vanessa- that sugar can feed an unresolved emotions n like sadness- I hadn’t thought of this, but I can feel it to be true. And it makes sense why I still crave sugar on occasions to avoid feeling deep sadness.
Thank you Lindell, sugar in the form of honey has come back into my life recently and I can see how it feeds my sadness. It’s like a lot of substances, it makes you feel “better” for a little while ( when it temporarily substitutes happiness for sadness) and then it’s effect wears off and you feel even worse than before the indulgence, It is more than a vicious circle, it is a spiralling down. This is why we need to catch ourselves and bring back the confirming and appreciation of ourselves on a consistent level and thus hold ourselves in that place where sugar or sweet things have no hold.
This sounds all too familiar but instead of choosing sugar I chose salt. Same amount of craving that feed sadness of never being enough and wanting to be accepted. Once the reasons for the craving was nominated the craving stopped too!
I agree, Amina, the effect food has on our body, our wellbeing, our emotions is enourmous. As food is often the endresult of how I have behaved during the day, it can be when I am angry, I have more longing to sugary things than when I feel harmonious. When I do not give way this longing but deal with my anger my body has the chance to come back to a more harmonious and still state.
Excellent observation Vanessa we need to bring more dedication and honesty to every choice in order to support us to be all of who we truly are.
That is also true for me Amina, I have noticed the effect food has on me in how I work and relate with others and myself. When eating food that does not support me I can get impatient, agitated or just tired not feeling energy to take on activities.
I have found that the only way I can truly give something up is to keep feeling the effects that it has on my body. I might have the intention to give up a certain food because I can feel it isn’t great for me whether that is because it causes bloating, a raciness or dullness but I may keep eating that food for sometime continuing to feel into the effects. Usually when I have felt that the effects are harming a few times, it then becomes easy to give up the food and say no more. Usually the food is then given up for good because it has been a choice that comes from my body.
Donna this approach also works for me too. I remember when I used to eat Tahini for example and loved it. Being made of sesame seeds I always thought it must be good for me. And then all of a sudden I would eat it and get a blocked nose and mucus. I am so used to having a clear nose and breathing that it was a very easy message to listen to. More tahini and more mucus or no tahini and clear breathing. This one was an easy choice. However I have also noticed that there are foods that are having a more subtle effect on me and usually far less physical and more a sense of heaviness or a dulling in some way. This asks for even more honesty from me.
It can be so subtle the messages that our bodies let us know, I have come to notice the raciness that sugary foods have on me or even sweeter foods.
Thank you Donna for saying this so simply and clearly. It’s only recently that I’ve truly allowed myself to keep feeling the effects of a food on my body, rather than know that it’s happening but ‘block it out’. No longer can I put up with the increased heart rate, the nerviness, the flustered feeling, the taking on of other people’s ‘stuff’, not to mention other less salubrious effects – I just cannot do it anymore, the body is so loud. As you say, once we REALLY allow ourselves to feel the effects, we just don’t want that food anymore and it quite easy to let it slip out of our diet. Sometimes I find I’ve just ‘forgotten’ about a particular food, I ‘forget’ to buy it for example, and I don’t even miss it. I love that natural dropping of a food!
Yes, when we come to the point that something is really harming to our body and feel ‘no, I can’t do this anymore’ – then actually the choice to let go of this, is very easy. The process till this point though may not be so easy, but without bashing and with love and understanding for oneself this can work quite well.
Excatly, Carmin, willpower only lasts for a moment, while truth and honesty of lasts for ever.
This is so true Carmin and Nathalie. I never imagined I could live without cheese but once I became aware of and started to be honest and deal with my inner-turmoil, rather than smothering it, the cheese just completely fell away. In fact, only three weeks after deciding to have a go at not eating it I tried some and it tasted so horrible I spat it out and have not eaten any since. That was eight years ago and I have not missed it. That is a miracle!
It is a miracle, Jonathan that we can with true support and honesty let go of foods like chocolate and cheese that we once felt we could not live without. I, too felt I could never give up cheese but I stopped eating it close to six years ago with the support of chakra-puncture sessions from a Universal Medicine practitioner and have never missed it, although I had to experience a few weeks of feeling very empty when I first stopped eating it. My digestion has improved remarkably without it and all other dairy products.
I understand what you mean Jonathan about once we deal with our issues around a certain food it feels like a miracle when the craving goes away. I feel the same about chocolate, I never thought I would be able to live without it but I have reached a point where it is not even a temptation any more. And it is not about willpower it is about dealing with the hurts under the craving. Bring on more miracles !
Great point Sandra, feeling and then dealing with the hurts under the craving reduces and then eliminates the craving. And boy it is a miracle to no longer crave something and it takes dedication to be willing to experience the hurt behind our cravings and our patterns of eating.
Jonathan if someone had told me that some day I would give up chocolate I would never have believed them. But I did 10 years ago and it wasn’t a struggle just a choice to listen to my body and connect to the truth.
Kathryn when I have given up chocolate or anything for that matter without addressing the underlying reason for eating/ doing it then it has felt like I have been attached to a rubber band. The thing that I gave up has just pinged back into my life, however when I have addressed the underlying reason first then there has been no ping back.
And when this choice is made ‘to listen to my body’, it becomes very easy to deal with the reason behind the addiction… otherwise we can stop eating the chocolate, but use something else instead to bring us the same fix.
So important Alexis and Kylie, addressing the underlying reason for eating a certain food, whilst listening to my body at all times.
I have to appreciate this Kathryn and also how much has shifted for so many once we connect to the truth that we have living within us.
I agree Kathryn, that has been my experience also. In fact I can walk past the most aroma filled patisserie now and not be tempted at all by the fresh out of the oven goodies. I can enjoy the visual and the smell, but there is not a thing there within me now that says “I really want some of that”. Quite a different story to 10-15 years ago when the aroma, and the visual were distinct hooks, and of course the why I depended on those hooks back then – because I previously believed I was not enough and looked to be filled by something to sweeten my thoughts and beliefs. Thank goodness for all that I am learning through the Ageless Wisdom Teachings at the Universal Medicine presentations.
Food seems to be a way of numbing, and end result of what stirs underneath that we are not willing to explore. In knowing this, I bring an understanding to my food choices that I never considered before. It is amazing what my body tells me when I listen.
Thank you for your comment Jonathan, it made me aware of all the un-supporting foods I have let go off instead of focusing on what I feel that I should let go of but still eat, with the consequences they bring. There was a bit of a “failing” issue about still eating certain un-supporting foods. But now with appreciating how I have listened to my body many times I know that this is a process of refinement. And I will get to the point of letting them go in the same way as I already easily have done before.
Spot on Nathalie. Will power has never worked for me, it just felt that I had to be extremely hard on myself and then kept seeing myself as a failure when I didn’t succeed.
I agree Elizabeth to say no to a food and be consistent to me has meant that I have to pull in a force. This feels like harshness and a strictness I’m imposing on myself. None of this deals with the why I crave the item in the first place. What I am discovering is it is much more loving and even simpler to gently discover the ‘why’.
Oh the misery of trying to eat a certain way with willpower and then failing again and again… it was awful! Now I make choices according to what my body actually wants… it is a totally different experience.
Oh and that cycle is so vicious and is what makes a LOT of money for many industries.
Yes that is exactly it Elizabeth – I can say the same. A true clearing of something does not require any effort at all.
I love this Nathalie. ‘Willpower only lasts for a moment, while truth and honesty lasts for ever.’ So true, the stress and stain that is involved in giving up something through will power alone causes so much tension to the mind and body. In contrast to the learning and evolution that can happen when we look to reason why we choose certain foods. This understanding, feeling and learning is what brings about sustained change and loving choices.
Absolutely. And truth and honesty allow us without judgement to understand the root of our issue.
Truth lasts forever! Once you get to the Truth it’s done for good…
Indeed, Nathalie! Truth and honesty can be counted on to support us through so much more than willpower alone!
Truth and honesty is the key ingredient here. I have had the same experience with myself in healing what was not true. Then not searching for a sweet treat to take the edge of when I was feeling fragile and sensitive in my body.
I’ve definitely tried to give up lots of things using will power or ‘mind over matter’ but with very little success, and nothing that was sustainable! Honesty has definitely been the key for me in really getting to feel what’s underneath the addiction in the first place and therefore being able to be truly responsible for my choices.
Yes, I agree Angela – I too have tried will power and tried to control my life and it feels like a trap and does not really change the underlying problem. Honesty however, begins to unlock and release all the needs within and allows us to look at ourselves and the self defeating patterns that we have set up in our lives to avoid the hurt. When we begin to heal we can feel that the hold of the substance lessens and we are freer to be ourselves.
Will Power comes from my head, and he’s a bit of a bully!I don’t like bullies and get tense and resistant when he’s around. Honesty Spekes comes from my heart, and gently leads me, willingly, to a place where I can feel where my food choices come from.
Yes honesty and loving myself enough to stop doing things that are unloving. Through this I have changed many things including eliminating foods and drink that do not truly support me but it is still very much work in progress … I guess it is just a case of loving myself even more.
I agree Angela, using willpower or “mind over matter” has never worked for me longterm. Only when I allow honesty and be open to seeing why I am making the choices that don’t support me have I been able to change patterns and behaviours that are not of a true support to my body. The relationship with my body and listen to the communication it is always giving has been a great tool in learning what assists my body to feel well and vital.
Yes Angela, I have tried the will power thing too but it never worked. The only way I could give up something was to really feel how it felt in my body. If it meant I had to get sick before I’d give it up, then thats what did it. Extreme though that may seem, that is what it would take. Now that I no longer eat sugar, even by thinking about something sweet is enough to make me feel a bit racey. The feeling in my body is all I need to know that I don’t want to eat what is there as a temptation. The crazy thing is I used to get that feeling a lot, but would override it and eat it anyway! I simply hadn’t made the connection.
Listening to our bodies is such a gift and one we can’t afford to ignore.
Exactly, it is about being honest about why you eat chocolate. And as experienced, honesty is so enormously powerful, without any blame looking at the things you have done to not feel who we truly are because of a hurt that is deeply inside us.
I agree Benkt with your words “..it is about being honest about why you eat chocolate”. From my own experience before becoming a student of The Way of the Livingness, I ate chocolate when sad, feeling empty, frustrated, angry, exhausted, lonely – and the list could go on I am sure, but at that time I hadn’t allowed my awareness to even venture into the arena as to ‘why’ I was experiencing all of those things – never all at once mind you, however, often one emotion would string along after the other emotion in sequence quite often. Over time I did discover that an ’emotion’ would be the key – and not until I learned how I was choosing to allow my emotions to be in control of me was I able to connect the dots. It wasn’t a pencil, but the loving tool that I was offered to use to be able to connect the dots was the vehicle of Universal Medicine. I too have learned it has nothing to do with ‘will or won’t power’ – I found it’s a developing awareness around listening to my body and honouring that.
This is so true Carmin. My body speaks loud and clear to let me know what foods support it. No willpower is needed, just an ability to listen to the truth presented by my body.
I love this Leonne, ” just an ability to listen to the truth” – that is the key, our bodies speak a thousand words.
And then surrender to the body and live the truth it is offering.
Love what you have written Leonne “My body speaks loud and clear to let me know what foods support it. No willpower is needed, just an ability to listen to the truth presented by my body.” Who needs diets when our will let us when we stop and listen.
I fully agree Carmin. I have even found ‘will power’ calls for a hardness with myself that I then go on to fight. Chocolate is for me now a thing of the past as being honest about why I ate it, and what it did to me was key.
Yes, will power is a distraction. If we use it we are only one step away from embarrassing ourselves. It is actually worse than that: It is fighting ourselves.
Much better to find out why we have this need, which we can do by observing ourselves when we get the desire, when we act on it and what it feels like to eat the chocolate and what it feels like in the body before, during and after eating the chocolate. After a while it becomes an easier and easier choice whether to continue and it becomes only a small decision to stop if we choose to do so.
This honesty is super important Carmin, it’s more powerful and evolutionary to supporting us back to what feels true than anything else!
true Carmin, using will-power I have found just results in finding a more ‘acceptable’ substitution, one that doesn’t break the rules, but gives you the same needed outcome – either numbing or checking out to not feel what is hurting underneath. Learning and understanding what is truly going on allows the healing to begin, and then the urge to go for the sugar, chocolate (insert favourite vice), is no longer there to have to fight.
Agree Anne, ‘understanding’ as opposed to ‘willpower’ is definitely a key I’ve found to be much more of an effective way in developing my relationship with what I eat, how much or when I eat.
Anne that’s true – understanding – was for me the missing link too. Without understanding I kept on being hard with me because willpower or discipline was easy for me but to deal with the hardness which related through the willpower in my body was another story, hence understanding was what helped me to heal at that point as well.
Yes Anne, ‘understanding what is truly going on allows the healing to begin’, and this comes from listening to my body. Am I using a food to numb or check out so I don’t feel a sadness or hurt underneath?
Being very honest about why we do what we do is definitely the start of healing – but I used to get very cocky and go ‘yeah, that’s why I need it’ and carried on with it. What really has supported me eventually, and continues to do so over the years is to keep deepening the connection with my body and become aware of my body’s reaction to the choices I am making, and learning to self-love at the same time. The more aware I become of, and pay attention to the bloating, the itching, the heaviness, the drowsiness, the raciness etc., the more I question if that really was the way I want to treat the body I live in.
I agree in that the willingness to feel and see, honesty and self-love start the process enabling us to live in a more loving and supporting way for ourselves, not just with foods but ideals, beliefs, behaviours and patterns as well. This still very much work in progress for me.
Brilliant words Carmin.
That is so true Carmel… it’s amazing how hard it is to get past a behaviour of ours when we are not honest with the reason we choose that behaviour or type of food in the first place. I know that this was something I learnt along the way when I was changing the way I ate. I would try force myself off foods so that I looked good on the outside to other people however on the inside of me, I wasn’t being honest enough with myself that my body never gave up on the foods and in the end I was eating the same old foods again. It really took me to be honest with how the foods made me feel in my body and if my body did not feel good it became easier for me to wonder why I was eating it, address why I want to sabotage myself and slowly the way I eat changes naturally to a healthy supportive way of eating, to which I have to refine often.
Yes absolutely. Honesty is the start to give old patterns and behaviours the chance to heal, because once they are exposed, they won’t come back that easy. Which is the often the case when we do it with our will.
Wow Carmin I agree that honesty enables us to kick e.g. an addiction. I wonder why we did not read about this very important information e.g. in any Woman magazine diet – like how to loose weight with honesty??
This would be amazing Ester – “How to lose weight with honesty?” It would certainly put a different spin on dieting and weightl ossand would save a whole lot of money!
So true Carmin. To deal with an addiction we need to have an understanding as to what has gone on in the past years to have lead to the addiction. Being open and honest is the perfect ingredients for healing.
So true Carmin. This is the only approach that I have ever found has been truly successful. For me, before honesty came awareness and with honesty, this awareness deepened (& is still deepening) and was able to be followed by taking responsibility for my choices and then creating space for different choices.