Something happened recently that triggered an age-old feeling in me of “I don’t belong here; this is not my home.” It was a tiny little thing, but the feeling that came up in me was huge! I started to wallow in it, but then stopped and thought: “Well, clearly this is not only about what just happened . . . so, what is going on here?”
And I started to look at where this feeling came from and what it meant.
Firstly, it was triggered by a desire in me for something sweet that actually could not be satisfied, because somebody else had eaten my stash! And I have come to learn that, when this desire arises, it’s because I am already feeling a sadness that I don’t want to feel.
I feel this sadness (and then the desire to sweeten it) any time I do not get my own way. When I don’t get what I want, I feel like I am missing out, I feel that I am not part of something, I feel different, isolated, not understood, not heard … any time, in short, when I make it all about me.
If I make it all about me, sooner or later I have to feel different, isolated, alone; because we are all different at the level where we are individuals.
And this is how most of us have lived, for a very, very long time, perhaps for longer than we care to remember. But I have some friends who live in a different way, and I am re-learning to live this way too.
What I am learning is that I can live in the misery and suffering of my self-centred creation when I choose to do it my way, get what I want, go it alone…
Or…
I can live in the joy and harmony of feeling and knowing that I am but one person among billions, all of whom matter just as much as me, and not only that, but that we are each part of a vast Universe of beings, all connected with each other and all part of a vast oneness.
Now this is quite a big jump, so are there steps we can take along the way?
For me, it starts with my body. Now this is something I have tried to ignore for quite a long time. I have indulged it, pushed it, used it, driven it, but listening to it and honouring it… that is a whole new thing for me.
When I listen to and honour my body and live in a simple loving way that deeply cares for it (and for me), I start to feel some things…
There is a physical reality to this human body, and to life on earth. I am made of flesh and blood, which is made of molecules, atoms, and subatomic particles that have been here since before the beginning of time. They have made up countless bodies before mine… and will make up many more to come. They are not mine to own, for they belong to the Universe, but it is my responsibility to care for them while I live in this body. The particles of which I am made are the same ‘stuff’ that has made up stars… I share them with the whole Universe.
If I really stop and feel this, I realise that I do belong here: in fact, I belong everywhere!
We are an inseparable part of the Universe, and we live in a great illusion that we are separate, because we have tried to separate ourselves from it. But we are still in it! The separation only exists in our minds. Our arrogant pride refuses to see the blindingly obvious and refuses to feel the un-numb-able fact that we are part of a stupendous whole, and that we live in a body of love that one day we will all come to know as God.
And the way back to this knowing is the stuff of which we are made, the particles that make up our being, the sparks of God’s flame that we call ‘us.’
When I live this way, in the knowing of this truth, life is joyful and full, and if the old feelings of sadness arise, they can serve as a signpost that I am choosing to live in the old way again, the way of desire, of self, of separation, of individuality… of me.
And I can choose to wallow in the misery of this again, or I can make a choice to come back to who I truly am, a great and equal part of the one glorious whole… a fellow human being, equal with everyone else, who lives in love, in truth, in brotherhood, knowing that none of us can do this alone, that we are all in this together, and that this is the way life is divinely designed to be.
I am forever inspired by Serge Benhayon, his family and friends, Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness.
By Anne Malatt – wife, mother, grandmother, eye surgeon, Australia
Further Reading:
Developing a Relationship – with my Essence
Living From My Inner Knowing
Living medicine starts with the body
777 Comments
Thank you Anne – valid point. We all have felt once that we do not belong here, because we are in fact energetic by essence, not a physical existence. Yet, we have a body where we live in and we need to treat it with the absolute knowing of this fact, with the honoring to the best we can to our physical body in this life.
Great reminder that when we deeply care for the body we are able to feel more- and when we abuse it, we desensitise ourselves. Our bodies always register everything but when we are abusive towards ourselves it’s like we’re choosing to numb our awareness to what we’re doing- because if we paid attention to it and allowed ourselves to feel it then we’d have to stop making those choices, and sometimes we just stubbornly don’t want to change our behaviours, even though we know they’re destructive.
This blog is just stupendous … that we are part of the Universe, our bodies vibrate to that naturally so, and it makes so much sense why we often try and numb our bodies for to fully embrace them and all they feel is how we live our part of the Universe.
Thank you Anne, I hadn’t quite looked at those feelings of not fitting in like this before! It makes perfect sense though as you explain that “we are each part of a vast Universe of beings, all connected with each other and all part of a vast oneness.” That understanding certainly removes self to expand beyond into all we are truly connected to and a part of.
It feels very arrogant to think of ourselves as individual and separate when our entire life on earth alone is dependent on others to make it work. Someone has to grow the plants we eat, make the computer we use, supply the electricity to our home etc etc. We simply cannot do it all on our own!
After spending so much of my early life feeling like I didn’t belong, anywhere, it was so life-changing to come to understand that “The particles of which I am made are the same ‘stuff’ that has made up stars… I share them with the whole Universe.” This understanding blew apart the belief I didn’t belong, that in fact I irrefutably did, as I was part of everything, part of the magnificent whole.
Looking at the size of our triggers compared to the amount of energy we use to react in can be a telltale sign of unresolved feelings and hurts. When I feel hurt and then and there claim it, it goes away. If I explode or feel deep sadness from a ‘small’ thing then it tells me something has been unexpressed for quite a while.
I love the sense we are part of a one beautiful whole, that we are part of the Universe and part of a body of Love. It gives me a sense I am held wherever I am and whatever I do and there is an equality in that. No-one is left less.
Exquisite Anne. I can feel how empowering it is to live with this awareness and how learning this at a young age would have saved many years of suffering in search of what my purpose was in being here, and instead just lived with confidence and power, guided by my inner-knowing.
” There is a physical reality to this human body, and to life on earth. I am made of flesh and blood, which is made of molecules, atoms, and subatomic particles that have been here since before the beginning of time. They have made up countless bodies before mine… and will make up many more to come. They are not mine to own, for they belong to the Universe, but it is my responsibility to care for them while I live in this body. The particles of which I am made are the same ‘stuff’ that has made up stars… I share them with the whole Universe. ”
Its so wonderful to read this and it explains alot thank you.
“we are each part of a vast Universe of beings, all connected with each other and all part of a vast oneness.” With this clear understanding we have a responsibility to walk in Brotherhood with all.
“If I really stop and feel this, I realise that I do belong here: in fact, I belong everywhere!” Many of us can feel like we don’t belong, yet as your beautiful blog suggests when we connect to our bodies and feel in our inner heart we know we are part of the all and the utter majesty and grandness that this equates too.
I can relate to this feeling of missing out too Anne. But what I am truly missing out on is connection to God, my divinity and multi dimensionality. Now that is an omission that’s going to be difficult to fudge. No wonder cravings, angst etc come in when this is not there.
I love this blog Anne, for often I still feel I don’t belong here, but you are right we do and we do belong everywhere as we are all connected, it is just me being stuck in my individuality that keeps that not belonging feeling alive.
Yes, it is a really good idea when a disproportionately large feeling or reaction comes up to question what is going on here and look a little deeper.
‘For me, it starts with my body. Now this is something I have tried to ignore for quite a long time. I have indulged it, pushed it, used it, driven it, but listening to it and honouring it… that is a whole new thing for me.’ Yes, a completely new thing I agree and I have the feeling I am only in kindergarten as there is much to explore in learning to listen again and honouring what the body knows.
Great blog Anne. I am learning that any hurt whatsoever is a barrier to letting people in and embracing all of everything in life. Essentially it comes down to the fact that a hurt serves as an excuse to isolate ourselves from the gigantic whole we live inescapably in.
There is proof to what your saying Anne in feeling One with everyone and that is how amazing you feel after a Esoteric Modality healing session. These sessions bring you back in alignment to the order of the magnificence of the universe. Hence I cherish every opportunity I have to mark in my body new depths I can surrender and learn to live in during a healing session.
“We are an inseparable part of the Universe, and we live in a great illusion that we are separate, because we have tried to separate ourselves from it.” And how we love to indulge in the idea that we are separate from everything and everyone, even when we are hurting. It’s the perfect way to keep ourselves away from what we know to be true, so that we don’t have to take full responsibility for the choices we’ve made that have led us to be where we are.
We are all part of a great Universe and all connected, even though at present we can’t see the energetic connections that are always there, ‘We are an inseparable part of the Universe, and we live in a great illusion that we are separate, because we have tried to separate ourselves from it.’
” I Don’t Belong Here…. Or Do I? ”
When I was a child , I had a similar understanding but in a different way. I knew I was not from here even though I am here , I knew I was more than just physical.
I can very much relate to what you have shared here John. There was always part of me that felt very out-of-place here in many ways, and when I did not fit into any groups in school, I reacted by feeling even more different and misunderstood, diving deeper into a pool of separation from others. But what I am feeling now after reading Anne’s great blog is how much I do belong here and am needed in a big way, regardless of how crazy the world seems.
“If I really stop and feel this, I realise that I do belong here: in fact, I belong everywhere!” – This sentence is a game-changer when you stop and feel how the particles that make us up are shared with the rest of the Universe!
Me too!!! I am sure it is something we all feel and then make a choice to dull that feeling and work hard to fit in – whatever that looks like at the time.
Thanks Anne, yes we always have a choice, ‘ I can choose to wallow in the misery of this again, or I can make a choice to come back to who I truly am, a great and equal part of the one glorious whole… ‘
When we get attached to how we feel in particular when we feel alone and or miserable we actually hold ourselves back from truly feeling our bodies and the amazing vehicles we reside in. This not only temporarily holds us back from the awesomeness we are and the beauty of our imperfect ways but also from seeing that we are indeed never alone and our connection to our hearts only ever holds us as one and leaves us open to discover and explore forevermore,
That is a really big part, learning that we actually can’t do it alone and that we are designed to be together and work together with others in harmony.
I agree MW and the fact that our bodies are constellated of particles, that in essence are one and he same in us all, and have been in us all at one time or another, completely annihilates the ideas that we have that we are or can be separate from each other. If we redirected our focus from resisting this fact to embracing it, we will then see what true advancement is all about.
I love this – simply you always have a choice, you can choose to be miserable or you can choose to love and cherish your life and know we are all part of something magnificent here.
This Blog really lets me connect to the fact, that I am practically not only knowingly part of the universe but in fact physically. The way you wrote this Anne is exquisite and has a deep understanding felt in your body. That´s why I can align to it so easily. Thank you!
” What I am learning is that I can live in the misery and suffering of my self-centred creation ” Wow this is huge, self- centred creation of misery and suffering , this describes a lot of the way the world is.
Yeh it’s a brilliant description, because often when we’re miserable we blame the world, rather than taking responsibility for the fact we crested that situation and made choices that led to that misery.
This paragraph is an absolute gem that deserves to be repeated . . . .
‘There is a physical reality to this human body, and to life on earth. I am made of flesh and blood, which is made of molecules, atoms, and subatomic particles that have been here since before the beginning of time. They have made up countless bodies before mine… and will make up many more to come. They are not mine to own, for they belong to the Universe, but it is my responsibility to care for them while I live in this body. The particles of which I am made are the same ‘stuff’ that has made up stars… I share them with the whole Universe.” . . . absolutely priceless Anne.
I have also often felt that I don’t belong here as the way most live on this planet is completely off track to how we are supposed to live in harmony with each other, so no wonder it feels alien to so many of us.
I completely agree Kev I also remember as a child often wondering what am I doing here and feeling I don’t belong here. As you say that is not surprising as none of us belong in the loveless and disharmonious form that we all too often witness.
What if we could all get our heads around the fact that we all matter just as much as everyone else, and we are all connected and not the individuals that we are so hell bent on clinging to. It is mad to think in our material world that so few have so much and so many have so little when in truth even the particles that make up our bodies are on loan and everything belongs to the all.
If we don´t go for the obvious solution and numbing- going for sweets etc, the truth will be presented in front of us. We just need to look for it.
“IF I REALLY STOP AND FEEL THIS, I REALISE THAT I DO BELONG HERE: IN FACT, I BELONG EVERYWHERE!” with this realisation comes a responsibility for us individually to live whom we truly are, otherwise we adversely affect the vastness we all are.
Tuning into the fact that the universe is naturally constantly expanding and we are exactly under the same pull, how much do we need to call in as a counterpart to not move along with the universe. The disruption mankind lives in accordance to the universe must have its consequences- no wonder of all the diseases and extremes that show up in current times.
We are part of the all and we impact the all, of course. This is the responsibility we all hold and the joy we all carry for each of us are a needed part of that whole.