• Home
  • Blog
    • Healthy Lifestyle
    • Relationships
    • Health Problems
    • Social Issues
  • Comments Policy
  • Links
  • Terms of Use
  • Subscribe to the Blog
  • Privacy
  • Contact Us
Everyday Livingness
Couples, Relationships 579 Comments on I found my Mr Right Online and we are Building our Relationship

I found my Mr Right Online and we are Building our Relationship

By Rosie Bason · On February 14, 2018 ·Photography by Nico van Haastrecht

I had been a member of a few online dating sites for a few years, searching for Mr Right. I chatted to a number of men, but they weren’t Mr Right for me. I wanted a long-term relationship and was happy to be single if it wasn’t right.

I was single for a very long time.

Years ago I dated a lovely guy for a while: we’re still friends but overall I felt overwhelmed by the volume and type of responses on dating sites. It seems that many men say they are searching for love and intimacy but get that confused with ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am.’ I had settled for casual sex in the past, thinking it was better than nothing, but there lies the problem.

If we as women settle for less, then that is what men will actually think we want. So ladies, let’s set the standard we want for ourselves.

I hid my profile and only chatted to people I felt to. It solved my inbox problem and unless I went fishing, nothing happened. And nothing happened for years! I would get a few bites now and then, and sometimes the initial signs were good, only to find we weren’t compatible. You see, I don’t drink alcohol and I didn’t want to sleep with a stranger or send nude photos. While this was the game many a man wanted, I wasn’t going to change to fit in.

I felt like giving up on the whole online dating game and for a while I did. Long gone were the days where I would drink to not feel and to fit in, even though I hated the taste of alcohol and how it made me feel – and I was so over giving my body away just for a guy to like me. I have changed my ways and wasn’t going to settle like I did in the past.

On Dec 2016, I was scrolling through profiles wondering, “Why am I doing this again?,” but found a profile that caught my attention. I messaged this man and we started chatting.

I didn’t think he was Mr Right, but he seemed like a lovely person so I thought maybe a friend at least. We chatted for a few weeks and eventually met. After 3 dates, I was still not sure about him, and to be honest, was not sure he was interested in me because I was different: I am healthy, I go to bed early, I am a solo parent and I don’t go out partying. Surely this is too boring for a man. But it turns out, this was not a problem for my Mr Right.

A few things that I have learnt about relationships:

  • First and foremost, if we have a good solid relationship with ourselves, we can have this with another, and not lose who we are. Instead we can see how we can complement and inspire each other, and grow.
  • I don’t have to rush anything – we don’t have to move in and live together for it to be a ‘good relationship.’ Although it is now a year later and the timing feels right.
  • It’s good not to be too hooked on your picture of Mr Right, because the reality could well be better than the picture. When we let go of expectations and open up we can be pleasantly surprised.

I have loved every moment of getting to know each other and as our relationship unfolds, I have opened up to the love we share. The more our relationship deepens, the more I see all my other relationships changing, family, friends and work colleagues and most of all, the relationship that I have with me.

And now I know from experience that internet dating does work! I found my Mr Right online and I absolutely adore him and our relationship.

Published with permission of my Mr Right

By Rosie Bason, Northern NSW

Further Reading:
Fairy-Tales – why a romantic relationship is so hard to find
Internet Dating – A Life Changing Experience
How to be safe dating online

Share

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • LinkedIn
  • More
  • Email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
Share Tweet

Rosie Bason

Woman of the world, sailed right around and now feel my feet firmly on the ground. Always been too busy, rushing and taking on too much but my body has put a stop to that, and now I am learning to slow down. I like writing, painting, taking photos and walking down the beach, as well as getting my hands in the dirt and watching my garden grow. I own a business, I am raising a child and learning each and every day that it's not about what we do, but who we truly are.

You Might Also Like

  • Parenting

    Turning Single Parenting on its Head

  • Male Relationships

    The Bulldozer, and the Butterfly

  • Communication

    Expressing the Unexpressed

579 Comments

  • Greg Barnes says: December 20, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    Being in a relationship brings out the best of us and when we are looking for a True relationship the right person will be there when we are open and transparent in everything we do.

    Reply
  • Mary Adler says: November 29, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    “I have loved every moment of getting to know each other and as our relationship unfolds, I have opened up to the love we share.” The more we open up to love the more we are offered.

    Reply
  • Greg Barnes says: November 4, 2019 at 6:19 am

    How we develop our self in relationship with our essences / inner-most / Soul serves everyone we meet so dating on the net delivers so much more than a personal chat.

    Reply
  • Mary Adler says: October 21, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    “The more our relationship deepens, the more I see all my other relationships changing, family, friends and work colleagues and most of all, the relationship that I have with me.” In discovering the beautiful woman you are an equally beautiful reflection is shown to you in your ‘Mr Right’.

    Reply
  • Greg Barnes says: August 11, 2019 at 5:53 am

    Lifting ourselves out of the mundane way of living opens us to the glorious ways of universal intelligence and thus provides us by the Love that we innately are the naturalness to magnetically pull in what will serve humanity and in your case Rosie, the magnificence mister right.

    Reply
  • Annoymous says: April 14, 2019 at 6:36 am

    “If we as women settle for less, then that is what men will actually think we want. So ladies, let’s set the standard we want for ourselves.” Excellent advise. This is the kind of thing that should be brought up and taught in schools.

    Reply
  • Annoymous says: April 7, 2019 at 5:32 am

    Its crazy how many relationships these days are not even built on common respect! I love it when you do see a couple who are reflecting to everyone not only respect but true love and true purpose.

    Reply
  • Lorraine Wellman says: February 18, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    This a lovely sharing Rosie, very inspiring, and yes to us setting standards we will not drop from, ‘If we as women settle for less, then that is what men will actually think we want. So ladies, let’s set the standard we want for ourselves.’

    Reply
  • Lorraine Wellman says: February 18, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    This is fundamental in any relationship, ‘ if we have a good solid relationship with ourselves, we can have this with another, and not lose who we are.’

    Reply
  • Caroline Francis says: January 25, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    To say ‘yes’ to Mr Right is a commitment not only to him or her but a commitment to self. Mr Right is also the perfect complement to support us to evolve although at times we may fight and challenge this truth.

    Reply
  • Julie says: January 5, 2019 at 5:30 pm

    From my experience of dating apps with friends and family members who have used them is that there seems to be an initial process of liking someone for their looks and then reading their profile afterwards. Gone are the days where you meet someone via a friend or a family member, hit it off and arrange another date.

    Reply
  • Leigh Matson says: December 3, 2018 at 5:38 pm

    I’ve started getting interested in online dating and what I enjoy about this blog is that you know yourself to the extent that your not willing to change to please another. I know this works as well because when I do change to please another I feel all gnarly and resentful and thats not a loving relationship.

    Reply
  • Rebecca says: December 2, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    Rosie, this is beautiful and inspiring, thank you for sharing. I love that you didn’t change yourself to make a man like you – that you stayed yourself and this was your standard.

    Reply
  • jennym says: November 18, 2018 at 1:49 pm

    I like the idea that we can complement each other in relationships, supporting each other to grow and deepen, then we avoid stagnating or agreeing to an arrangement where we do not challenge each other.

    Reply
  • Leigh Matson says: October 15, 2018 at 6:43 pm

    Having that solid relationship with ourselves is important. Because in all relationships stuff can come up. Stuff being our hurts, judgements, expectations etc. Me staying connected with me means I don’t get swept up into all those issues that get reawakened from the past or other stuff that gets in between me and another.

    Reply
  • Joshua Campbell says: October 8, 2018 at 1:45 am

    Love your story Rosie! Goes to show that when you put love first, physical difference and distinctions are not so important or the focus any more.

    Reply
  • Greg Barnes says: October 4, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    When we find a True relationship we will always endeavour to stay connected as we explore our natural-ways so we can both evolve.

    Reply
  • Sarah Flenley says: October 4, 2018 at 5:55 am

    “If we as women settle for less, then that is what men will actually think we want.” This truth of this line was a standout for me today. If we do this ( which we all do in our own ways ) then that is the standard that we set for ourselves or for others. If we raise the standard, then we raise it for all.

    Reply
  • Carola Woods says: September 29, 2018 at 5:05 am

    It is so true and has been my experience also that the standards we hold true for ourselves in how we honor our truth and the truth in our bodies become the foundations that all our relationships are developed with. When honoring love is at the heart of all our relationships we then establish standards that deeply honor who we are and our opportunity to evolve.

    Reply
  • Sam says: September 19, 2018 at 5:59 am

    More and more it is becoming apparent to myself that the more I love me, unconditionally, the more I can offer true love to another.

    Reply
  • Danna says: September 10, 2018 at 5:15 am

    How beautiful is this mister and misses right story, totally rocks away the illusion of how a relationship needs to be. How often have we fallen for beliefs, images and ideals and how often have they actually demaged us? Well definately alot. Time for change !

    Reply
  • Sam says: September 5, 2018 at 6:24 am

    When we are ready and open heaven can not but plan for us to have truly loving evolving relationships.
    It might sound like the dating app was responsible but when its a relationship based on true love – God always has his hand in too.

    Reply
  • Danna Elmalah says: August 28, 2018 at 5:28 am

    Thank you Rosie for giving us insight in what we are here to learn back again — live lovingly with an open heart, a truly open heart.

    Reply
  • Christoph Schnelle says: August 20, 2018 at 5:25 am

    There have been some amazing relationships that originally met online, a possibility that 30 years ago simply didn’t exist.

    Reply
  • Fiona L says: July 28, 2018 at 5:34 am

    It is great to be in online dating and not settling for less. We women have dropped our standards and are settling for company, someone to help with manual jobs, and generally fill the picture we have of what relationships should be. This picture limits us to much less than the love we all know in our hearts but perhaps have given up on finding.

    Reply
    • Leigh Matson says: December 3, 2018 at 5:40 pm

      Settling for less will always come with an unease that knows there’s more.

      Reply
  • natalie hawthorne says: July 23, 2018 at 6:24 am

    I love that first point you make about us having a solid foundation of us loving ourselves first and foremost. If we don’t have this then we are seeking and become needy of others to fill what we don’t have for ourselves. Having the space to just be who we are with out any impositions and expectations is such a refreshing way of having a relationship. What is fascinating is the amount of pictures that come flooding in on how we think things need to be.

    Reply
  • Heather Pope says: July 20, 2018 at 4:08 am

    The wonder of what is on offer between two people can’t be underestimated when you are willing to be open to what is possible.

    Reply
  • Jill Steiner says: July 10, 2018 at 10:54 am

    When we are very clear with what it is we are looking for and offering in a relationship, when it does come along it may not appear as how we thought, but as time goes on the gold that is being offer will be uncovered.

    Reply
  • Lucy Dahill says: July 5, 2018 at 8:02 am

    There are so many hooks to finding Mr Right and, as you share here, if we are not in a relationship with ourselves we can so easily be hooked by needing a relationship which fills us up so we don’t feel that lack of relationship with ourselves any more.

    Reply
  • Lieke Campbell says: July 2, 2018 at 5:39 pm

    It is beautiful that when we love ourselves and feel confident with ourselves, we can wait for the right man to come and we are willing to wait a long time if that is needed. This is how we can change the world of dating and relationships.

    Reply
  • Carolien says: July 1, 2018 at 5:34 am

    ‘if we have a good solid relationship with ourselves, we can have this with another, and not lose who we are’ this is key in any relationship wether it is with our partner, family members, friends etc.

    Reply
  • jennym says: June 30, 2018 at 12:13 pm

    I had a bit of a chuckle of the title Mr Right, as it is so true that we must be right and true in our relationship with ourselves and allow the same for others.

    Reply
  • Rebecca Turner says: June 27, 2018 at 3:43 pm

    Setting standards is something we need to do for ourselves before we can actually hold this and express this. If it is not lived in our lives we will always find ourselves accepting less as there is no foundation of a living way.

    Reply
  • kev mchardy says: June 26, 2018 at 1:19 pm

    I love your love story Rosie, many people lose themselves when searching for and meeting a partner, but as you have proved here, the only way to go is to stay collected to yourself and not compromise that solidness.

    Reply
    • Christoph Schnelle says: August 20, 2018 at 5:26 am

      If you stay connected with yourself and present yourself as you truly are then the relationship starts on a much more solid footing than when each side has a relationship with the other’s image.

      Reply
  • Adele Leung says: June 26, 2018 at 8:30 am

    A woman who knows and lives her worth is deeply inspiring to men (and women) for this reflection is needed for everyone to live our worth deeper.

    Reply
  • Mary-Louise Myers says: June 26, 2018 at 4:38 am

    If we set the standard we want in a relationship and stick to this eventually we will meet a man who wants to honor this standard as you have Rosie… very inspiring.

    Reply
  • Joseph Barker says: June 25, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    A life of black and white, rights and wrongs, keeps us imprionsed in an internment camp of judgement and control. Acceptance, allowance and awareness lets us stay open and connected to the all.

    Reply
  • Stefanie Henn-Hecke says: June 25, 2018 at 4:49 pm

    When we are dating someone and not shying away of showing US, who we truly are- the best chances are, that you know very quickly if there is a potential in that constellation or not.

    Reply
  • Loretta Rappos says: June 20, 2018 at 11:34 am

    Open, honest communication is so important in any relationship. To not compromise our standards re how we expect to be treated as woman just to be liked/loved or get approval.

    Reply
  • Shami says: June 18, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    There is a great simplicity to this article which shows how simply you have approached this situation, and this is lovely because so often relationships are taken on with huge dramas and complications. But you have chosen a different way, a way that is honouring of you and all that you have built up in your life, which is what is supporting you to have such a beautiful relationship with yourself and your wonderful Mr Right.

    Reply
    • Lucy Dahill says: July 5, 2018 at 8:03 am

      Yes Shami, the simplicity really comes through doesn’t it and shows by lived example that we can feel so connected to each other without the anxiety, the worry about if you like each other or like like each other!!!

      Reply
    « 1 … 6 7 8

    Leave a reply Cancel reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    Search

    Subscribe

    Recent Posts

    • Turning Single Parenting on its Head
    • My Evolving Relationship with Movement
    • The Bulldozer, and the Butterfly
    • How I Have Come to Not Be Owned by Social Media
    • Building a True Relationship with Food

    Categories

    • Health Problems (6)
      • Dementia (1)
      • Digestive Issues (1)
      • Eating disorders (3)
      • Fatigue/Exhaustion (1)
      • Migraines (1)
    • Healthy Lifestyle (92)
      • Drug Abuse (3)
      • Exercise & Sport (25)
      • Healthy diet (29)
      • Music (1)
      • Quitting alcohol (13)
      • Quitting coffee (2)
      • Quitting smoking (4)
      • Quitting Sugar (4)
      • Safe driving (2)
      • Sleep (4)
      • TV / Technology (12)
      • Weight Loss (2)
      • Work (2)
    • Relationships (147)
      • Colleagues (2)
      • Communication (11)
      • Couples (33)
      • Family (29)
      • Friendships (18)
      • Male Relationships (7)
      • Parenting (28)
      • Self-Relationship (40)
      • Sex & Making Love (6)
      • Workplace (10)
    • Social Issues (51)
      • Death & Dying (9)
      • Education (14)
      • Global Issues (7)
      • Greed/Corruption (1)
      • Money (3)
      • Pornography (1)
      • Sexism (14)
      • Tattoos & Removal (2)

    Archives

    • Home
    • Blog
      • Healthy Lifestyle
      • Relationships
      • Health Problems
      • Social Issues
    • Comments Policy
    • Links
    • Terms of Use
    • Subscribe to the Blog
    • Privacy
    • Contact Us
    loading Cancel
    Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
    Email check failed, please try again
    Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.