Many people, especially women, are put off going to the gym and lifting weights as they think it is too hard or in turn will make their body become hard, but exercise, lifting weights and the gym can be loving, nurturing and so much fun.
I used to work as a fitness instructor, personal trainer and yoga teacher, and for a while was put off going back to the gym, because I ‘thought’ it was too hard for my body, but in truth it was how I had been choosing to exercise that was hard, not the exercise itself.
In truth my body really responds to it – rather than exercise feeling like a hard slog and something I’ve got to do, I have discovered exercise feels amazing, joyful, nurturing and really supportive. For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.
It is also not about being rigid with the exercises I choose to do. Sometimes I love using free weights, at other times I feel the need for more support and use machines. I also love playing and experimenting with equipment. There may be days that I stay at the gym for 20 minutes, other days where I will be there for an hour or more, all depending on how I feel and my workload that week, e.g. if I have a long, physical week.
There are even times when I have been tired, and ‘thought’, “Oh I’ll go home and relax”… but then have chosen to go to the gym instead and done a lighter session, which in turn has felt so nurturing and supportive, and in truth re-connected me with my body, and out of my head.
One morning, whilst sitting on a weights machine, I felt so clearly in my body, that if I make exercise about my outer and how I look, I go into my head and my body hardens – it becomes about drive and something I do… Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.
Not only can going to the gym be joyful, nurturing and supportive, it also offers an opportunity to feel how I have been choosing to live in other areas of my life.
For example:
- does my body feel hard
- are there parts of my body that feel tight, heavy or stiff
- does my body feel unbalanced
- am I racy, anxious, stressed out
- am I being arrogant… thinking I know better than another
- is there a force, a drive, a push
- am I in my head thinking about lot of other stuff
- am I ignoring what my body is sharing
- is there comparison or judgement with myself and others
- am I putting myself down, disliking parts of my body, or
- am I focusing on one thing instead of feeling all of me?
…All of which is not me…
OR do I feel:
- beautiful
- sexy
- powerful
- light
- playful
- glowing
- amazing
- flowing
- tender
- harmonious
- loving
- joy-full and
- full of wonder at what my amazing body shares with me?…
… All of which is definitely all of me!
As I have found out, it is also an amazing opportunity to honour my fragility and vulnerability, to not override it and feel I have to be or act a certain way. I can feel fragile and vulnerable, be all of me and still exercise – each time my body is asking me to connect to something deeper.
So for me, going to the gym, exercise, swimming and walking is not a ‘should do’ or a ‘have to do’ – it is a ‘love to do’ – it is about joyfully connecting, honouring, nurturing and committing to myself and to my body, so that it will be of support no matter what is truly asked of it.
It is with thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Caroline Raphael, who have inspired and reminded me to choose love again.
By Gyl Rae, BA Hons Fine Art, PGDE, DIP Personal Training & Sports Therapy
I love exercising in the morning. Having time with my body before the day starts. It feels energising as it always does when I connect to my body.
There is a ‘gym consciousness’ that I used to be very much a part of. I understand it much better since understanding that our thoughts, speech and movements are governed by our preceding thoughts, speech and movements. This fact combined with the fact that when we buy into consciousnesses, they come in pre packed bundles. Therefore when I went to the gym to look better and keep my body firm and sculptured then it ensured that I would move in a particular way. One of those predetermined movements was constantly checking myself out in the mirror and another was comparing myself to others. Now that I go to the gym to connect more deeply with me then my movements are very different indeed, one example being that I do nearly all of my workout with my eyes closed.
Exercise is an integral ingredient in supporting our overall health and well-being. It is also far more enjoyable when we allow it to be light-hearted and fun and not a burden or a chore.
I absolutely love exercising, it is a time for me to strengthen my connection with my body, a time when I focus on the detail of my body more deeply and although I am aware that all moments in time offer this opportunity, exercise seems to be the time that I am able to really seize the opportunity the most.
Gyl, I loved reading this article. I can feel how I had thought that going to the gym was a very masculine, hard thing to do and that I had written it off, but what you are sharing in this article about it being about how we exercise not the exercise itself, makes me reconsider about going to the gym.
R-learning to exercise in the most gentle way while staying focused on our breathing, which should also be at-least gentle allows our body energy levels and vitality to increase measurably.
I love going to the gym. It supports me to do my job with ease rather than my job draining me because I am not fit enough to do it. It’s important to listen to my body while at the gym because if not I am worn out and often sore for days afterwards. Going there, working out to whatever limit my body has that day leaves me feeling energised and supported.
Some great questions to ask ourselves in order to gauge our quality. I used to push myself at the gym and now I am learning the importance of listening to my body and getting an understanding of how to respond to it not how to control it.
‘it was how I had been choosing to exercise that was hard, not the exercise itself.’ We can adapt any exercise to suit ourselves and the personal trainer helps us to do this but it is not often that they suggest we connect to our bodies and allow our movements to come from there and not our heads. When we have this body awareness and bring it to our exercises at the gym the exercises feels so different in our body and we can so much more easily gauge what is supporting us or not. It is the quality in our body and how we move in that quality that is the foundation of the health benefit we derive from our work out.
I used to enjoy working out at the gym, but realise I would push and override my body at times, coming from my head and my drive to be fit. My health does not allow me to go to the gym now, but when I last went my purpose was to stay connected with my body, to be really present with me and what my body was conveying to me, and to honour that.
Life becomes a Love to do in all we do when the Love we are is deeply connected to.
Imagine the hoohaa associated with man going to the moon or inventing the internet. This stuff is so minor compared to rediscovering our essence and how to live from that. Once redound it changes everything we do and the end result of how you feel in you. Huge!
It feels to me that going to the moon is an elaborate and rather expensive distraction. Anything that doesn’t suppprt our journey inwards is a distraction from the truth of who we all are.
When exercise for me was about ideals of body image my approach to exercise felt really awful. There was a desperation and fear I wouldn’t be good enough unless I looked a certain way so the way I exercised was often punishing in the sense of pushing myself and being motivated by stress and fear. I didn’t know how to connect to me or appreciate all that I already was in terms of the qualities I held as a woman. Finding Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health has transformed every part of my life including exercise because I’ve been able to re-connect to the essence of me and love and appreciate myself, as well as listen to my body and respond gently and lovingly to it. It’s changed my relationship to everything in life because my relationship to me has changed.
Thank you Gyl for sharing all you have learnt from how to approach exercise gently and be with yourself. So often exercise is treated as a have-to, something we endure because of how we push ourselves and then reap the rewards of feeling better later. What you have shown is it doesn’t have to be this way, we can actually be deeply attentive to our bodies and enjoy exercising, adjusting the way we exercise depending on how our body feels each day. This is a great line and confirms how I now approach exercise too “I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me”.
I love those lighter sessions, when its been a busy time and the body feels tired, but the gentle exercise warms me up, stretches things out and keeps me solidly in my body so I can feel what is going on and where I’m at. Often I’ll leave such a session feeling invigorated and very steady… and definitely more myself.
Last week I found myself in a bit of a funk. I went to the gym and it wasn’t just the endorphins but the presence of me being with my body and working with it that left me feeling lighter at the end.
I am very lucky to have a great piece of gym equipment at home which I use for 10 minutes every day. That is all it takes, it is very enjoyable and makes a big beneficial difference oh and yes I feel all those me things from your second list 🙂
In my case, for long time I thought that the images that are around exercising were what this really was, and I reacted to that, not choosing to explore my own way.
I have avoided the gym during most of my life, because due to those images, I had the belief that it was something imposing to my body. However the most imposing thing was the thought I accepted of how I had to exercise (hard, pushing, long hours, competing, …). When I questioned those thoughts and opened up to a new way of exercising, connected to the way I feel and honouring the rhythm, intensity and quality that I need, then I’ve truly found a healthy and enjoying way to be fit.
Your title reflects how foundational loving yourself is to going to the gym and exercising in a way that is sustainable.
The quality in which we move in life is the key rather than the particular exercise. Just as here is always the opportunity to deepen the connection and relationship we have with our bodies and innermost.
I just signed back up at the gym after having a few months off and as soon as I walked in, I felt how much my body missed exercising and the commitment. I could relate to going into my head whenever I think of wanting to change a part of my body or thinking I need to fix my body in some way. My body loves to move, and when I stay connected to my breath and my whole body as I exercise, it can be an enormous support to my overall health and wellbeing.
As I am getting physically older I am feeling more and more inspired to have more exercise in my life, I am going swimming more now then ever and my body is loving it.
Yes I agree as I am getting older (6th decade) I am enjoying exercise more than ever and love my gym and big morning walk. It feels particularly important and supportive and I look and feel better than ever!
I love going for my daily walk, a stop moment, to spend time connecting with my body and appreciating nature around me.
Hmmm.. This is actually a very very good point raised.. I can feel how much I have been caught up in my life that fitness/excercise is hard and actually makes my body hard.. I have for long resisted going to the gym or do any excersise at all, disempowering myself as to that I could and was actually capable of that. When I read it now and especially relate it to my observations from around me and woman, I can feel that by not excercising our bodies we actually disempower us. Hence this is a truly remarkable blog, one that we shall all read, and than look back at our lives and see how we can make excercise part of our everyday. Lovingly so. As hardening ourselves is not needed.
This is a gorgeous blog. Clearly it is possible to do well and to enjoy your visits to the gym. When I regularly went 30 years ago I remember it as a struggle. It felt good afterwards but the process wasn’t fun.
Likewise Christoph, my youthful experience of exercise was that it was basically torture – it hurt and there was a ‘no pain, no gain’ mentality. These days I do it to support what is needed in my day to day, and because it makes my body feel pretty wonderful.
When I exercise I often feel lighter in my body and then have more energy for the day. When I let this slip I am often exhausted and then crave sweet things which leaves me more tired and irritated and less likely to exercise as I feel sluggish and unmotivated.
Yes, exercise is very helpful. The key is to find ways of making it fun and enjoying it. Then it is much easier to do every day.
I hear you MW when I get into that cycle of not exercising, therefore feeling sluggish, weak in my body, not interested, tired and couldn’t be bothered, I make it all about me. When I exercise, like you, I have more energy and therefore am more there for myself and also others.
“..it becomes about drive and something I do.. ”
If one makes it about something I do, then the only way that can be done is with drive and no true purpose.
The true exercise of life is connection. Living and grooving, stretching and strutting your stuff – everything is resplendent when you move with yourself. Thank you Gyl for the great reminder.
So true and when we follow our body’s lead we can feel what supports us throughout our day.
It’s no mistake that our spirit turns physical exercise into a struggle, an ordeal, a competition, and an adrenaline rush. It’s just trying to distract from the fact that beautiful connected movement is the real deal and cuts its control over our body. Thank you Gyl for this timely exercise reminder.
Discovering that it is actually possible to exercise gently , working with the body rather then driving it, is indeed a revelation.
I have recently had a moment in my life where I have felt that the way i am exercising needs to change. So I didn’t do anything for 3 weeks. And I felt this was not supportive for my body – so i have started to introduce gentle exercise based on how my body is feeling – not what the result should make me look like. A huge difference that I am enjoying and exploring and feeling the settlement in my body that was not there befoe.
‘For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.’ And this can be quite a challenge in how the gym areas have been set up. Set up in a way we get distracted easily by big screens, loud music and mirrors everywhere, makes it very clear how it is more about disconnecting and just do do do the training and not about building a body of love through connection.
There is no doubt that our body so beautifully responds to love, and whenever we connect to love our movements magnify this quality, as do our bodies.
‘Again!’ ‘harder!’ – it’s so ingrained in us to push further, to go to another level, not to rest but keep going ‘just that little bit more’. Yet this is a remnant of living life from extremes instead of tuning in to how we feel in our being. We don’t have to wait for things to break down to say ‘that’s enough for now’. Thank you Gyl.
Redefining the way we exercise is extraordinarily liberating and of course, extremely good for our bodies 🙂 …Our hearts, and indeed our general well-being
Redefining the way we exercise is extraordinarily liberating and of course, extremely good for our bodies 🙂
What is life changing about doing exercise and light weight workouts compared to lifting heavy weights and pushing the body to its limits (straining it and placing it into hardness) is maintaining the vulnerability and tenderness while I work out, through either my gentle breath, connection to my body, feeling my touch in my hands and feet on the ground, or the purpose to supporting my whole body.
I have recently started a more consistent exercise routine and I am amazed at how much it supports me in my day. When I go for a walk or a swim each morning, I feel lighter, more focused and have more energy. When I don’t my body is more sluggish during the day.
Gyl, I love this; ‘if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.’ I can feel how I have been put off going to the gym, thinking it will be hard on my body, but what you are sharing here feels very nurturing and loving, it’s great how you listen to your body and do exercise in a way that supports your body, rather than pushing yourself and having a goal of how long to exercise for.
Any excuse is a good excuse to connect to the body – not that we need an excuse at all because the opportunity is always there, no matter what we’re doing, how we are moving or where we are. The body is always with us and aches for our focus, attention and connection. I wonder if that is what body aches and pains are about..?
I was talking to a friend today who told me she used to exercise so hard that sometimes she would be sick. Its funny how something like exercise is considered healthy when there are millions of ways we can do it without regard therefore making the whole process harmful.
As I read your list of qualities that are you Gyl I cannot but realise that we don’t stop as our days play out and appreciate ourselves nearly enough.
I love this Gyl, what you write makes sooo much sense, if we make exercise about our outer and how we look we will for sure go into hardness, a drive a feel competitive where as if we make it about connection and support we feel the lightness and joy.
Awesome summary Gyl.
We can let life’s events get in the way of what we truly know supports us every day. And then after a while we turn around aghast, as if to say ‘gosh how did things get in such a bad way?!’. But we do know, because it was when we overlooked what we knew deep inside. We can have grand dreams and big plans but in my experience they are built on the loving and supportive building blocks of caring for me. Thank you Gyl.
There can be such a beauty and flow in moving the body in gentle exercise especially exercises such as lifting weights and resistance exercise.
Going to the gym is part of my weekly dose of medicine in loving and supporting my body. It feels oh so gorgeous to feel the expansion in my body when I am exercising from love of myself and the support it offers in the week is no different to the support of taking mineral supplements my body needs or having a nourishing shower.
I attended a local gym a few weeks ago. It took me a while to let go of many issues in the lead up and then out of the blue I decided to go. When I got to the gym there was a lot of anxiousness there to be released which I found rather overwhelming but I asked for support and it was there waiting. I felt so much joy connecting to my body during the exercising and working with the weights and machines and the length of time I felt to… a very different approach to the hard pushing and driving that I became so familiar with when I attended the gym many years ago.
I love how when we continually check in and listen to our bodies we have this ongoing feedback system that supports us to nurture, connect and learn what really aids us in loving who we are and what allows us to then live exactly as our bodies feel too move and express day to day.
Having scoliosis I have struggled over the years to find exercise that supports my back and builds my core strength. The missing link has been not focussing on my connection to my body and working from there. Thank you for inspiring me to explore and trust that my body knows what will support it and that in this I can be joyful and playful.
In the past I have always ‘gone at’ exercise as hard and fast as possible to get it over with. All in the name of doing something that I believed was good for me and I should do but with complete disregard for my body. No surprise then that I always found it hard to sustain and despite always having an inner knowing that my body felt better for having some physical exercise I have been very patchy in my commitment. Thank you for introducing a completely different way to approach the gym and exercise in general.
Exercise is definitely not only part of our daily self-care but I find it an excellent tool to see where I’m at and where my body is at, at the moment I use it as a gauge for how delicate I’ve been, and whether my body can let go and be relaxed when exercising.
I agree Meg, just going for a walk or doing some weights can be a great check in to where we are at and clear the cobwebs so to speak.
I did some exercise for the first time in a long while today. Boy it felt hard, but good in my body. I can see I make it into something gruelling and difficult – and then this is exactly what it feels like to do. But does it have to be this way? You show Gyl it really doesn’t – but just asks me to be delicate, playful and consistently dedicated to loving me.
I love how you share that is how we choose to be with ourselves, that reflects the quality of our approach to exercising our bodies. When we are loving with ourselves, we choose to confirm who we are through moving our bodies in a way that honours and as such strengthens our connection to our essence along with the body that carries us through our days.
Thank you for sharing your insight Gyl. When I connect to my body while exercising I become aware of all that I have chosen. I’m still learning to accept this as I can go into judgement when my body reminds me that the choices I’ve been making are less than loving. When I allow myself to be exactly where I am and approach exercise with appreciation I get a work out in more ways than one.
If you have a friend, is it more fun to shout and order them about, or play and collaborate? Is it loving to dictate and push them into what you want to do, or more helpful to listen to what they have to say and consider trying another point of view? Why do we think it’s ok to be so hard and mean to our body? They say sometimes in life we should ‘treat them mean to keep them keen’ but I can vouch that this doesn’t work. Why don’t we try instead nurturing and supporting ourselves with playful exercise? This sounds from what you say Gyl like a better recipe to me.
Gorgeous Joseph. If we make our relationship with out body the focus when we exercise we bring a beautiful quality to our movements and nurture our bodies.
Exercising and going to the gym can seem like a hassle. But aside from the clear physical benefits, what I have learnt is that it hugely supports my emotional state too. Going and gently exercising requires me to check in with my breath, my muscles, my back, my arms and consider how they are going. If you regularly do this, like phoning a friend there’s a lot less room for any complication, pain or arguments to come in! So you could say Gyl that things ‘work out’ in the end.
It is true exercise can be very nurturing and also incredibly fun to do when I do it to care for myself and not to better myself.
I love what you have shared about exercise Gyl, how when exercising it is about nurturing and giving loving attention to all parts of the body and what a joy it is, I am inspired to give my body the gift of gentle exercise to day thank you.
Fragility and vulnerability are not aspects of us that we would normally feel anywhere near the gym in the normal run of things, but here we are integrating such lovely aspects of ourselves in such a place… Is it possible that we could actually hold this awareness anyway then?
I have recently re engaged with my gym and are loving the steam room and how my body LOVES this warmth, I love swimming and walking in the pool, just feeling and stretching out my limbs feels playful and lovely.
Your explanation of true exercise Gyl is wise and very inspirational, thank you;
In your words exercise is, “about joyfully connecting, honouring, nurturing and committing to myself and to my body, so that it will be of support no matter what is truly asked of it”.
I visited the gym the other morning and I saw a woman working out hard, banging the weights around and the music blasting loud. I loved how I was able to stay connected to my body and then it became background noise and paid no attention to it like I used to. The workout was in the rhythm of what my body needed and not influenced by someone else’s or the busyness of the gyms rhythm.
When our body is enjoying the exercise then it is a moment of “it is a ‘love to do”
Thank-you Gyl. What joy there is in having such a relationship with your body – this is deeply inspiring, and attests to the fact that when we are willing to let go of attitudes towards exercise that include bettering our appearance and pushing ourselves, there is a whole other layer of richness and relationship with not only our bodies, but ourselves to explore. The whole experience can be one of deep inner and also physical connection.
Reading this blog couldn’t have come at a perfect time for me. For years I worked my body hard at the gym because I thought I ‘had to’ and after the Hypothyroidism came in, I stopped going to the gym.
Recently my body has been yearning to go to the gym but at the same time the memory of working out hard was not a place I wanted to revisit anymore and my body deserved something more loving. So I finally joined the hospital gym where I work at but it took me a few months before I started attending. I have no set routines anymore and I do what I feel like doing. It is early days but this blog is a great confirmation and supportive to read that I have made the right decision for my body.
I feel we can be a bit too uptight and come from knowledge when going to the gym – there is nothing wrong with lifting weights as women.
Your words remind me Gyl, how common it is to take something beautiful, supportive and healthy and make it into something horrible and painful. It seems the more helpful it is, the harder we work to make everything diificult. If only we dedicated this same effort to taking simple, loving, common sense steps, we would be so much healthier and fitter for life.
We don’t have to go to a gym to do this, I now exercise at home with free weights in exactly the same way.
Yes my body is certainly letting me know it would love to go to the gym, or a swim to support me, but I am dealing with a resistance, despite the fact that I know once there I love it. It doesn’t make sense that I am choosing not to take responsibility in this area and why am I not choosing this as part of my self care.
Absolutely – simply – going to the gym can be a very nurturing thing! Like all we do with our hearts on the moment we feel to (including our impulses from our body, never to neglect them in any way).
Exercising with the purpose of looking after our bodies and preparing them for the work ahead of them is so refreshingly cool, it’s just a really fun exploration and discovery of what our bodies need to be supported in their daily roles.
“For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.” This is so opposite to what I see when people exercise generally. TV, papers, distracting music – all combine to take one away from the present moment – to take one away from being with their bodies. Hence injuries happen – as people just ‘push through’ and often have pride in this.
You have summed up in your comment Elizabeth, in a clear and succinct way, what my feelings are now regarding exercise, I agree whole heartedly, beautifully put.
Exercise, when done in a way that assists us to connect more deeply with our body is super supportive and a very self loving thing to do as it supports us in our day to day activities.
Thanks for sharing your tips about going to the gym. I too have avoided the gym because It seems too hard and I dont want to make my body hard, but then sometimes have a rush of drive and feel like I want to “get big” it just shows how out of whack our perceptions about health and living are. Like you said Gyl its about staying connected with our bodies and knowing what to do, how much to do etc.
we are so used to taking the overstated necessity to ‘ harden up’ as something that we actually need to do, that it is essential that writing on subjects like this, is so important… Hardening up is actually the antithesis of what we need to do as a species.
There is a common psyche that thinks of ‘being connected’ as meaning that pushing the body actually helps to get connected. A marathon runner will say they are very connected when running a marathon. But the very revealing fact is that not only would injuries and long term wear and tear on the body be much reduced if people were truly connected, so would boredom with exercise and other factors that prevent people from exercising regularly. True connection is based on exercise for the love of movement and feeling the body strengthen and stretch without force or strain. I have found it means that my body wants to exercise every day or two in some form or another.
Exercising gently and aware of how my body is feeling and my body stays supple but if I push myself hard to ‘keep fit’ then my body feels hard.
That’s pretty awesome Gyl! Stripping away the consciousness of exercise as it’s been taught or fed to us really is the first step to appreciating that we actually know how to exercise and we know what our body needs. For too long we’ve relied on the so called ‘health’ world to dictate to us what is right for our bodies. However, it’s well worth considering that no 2 bodies are alike and that depending on how we individually use our bodies on a daily basis, whether we have physical day jobs or not, will all depend on the type of exercise we need to support us.
No two bodies are the same and as a yoga teacher this is a really crucial piece of information. There is an expectation in Yoga that students will try and emulate the teacher and when you think about this it really is quite ridiculous. Yoga teachers are often very flexible and very young and so expecting the entire class to be able to do what they do is not only ridiculous but dangerous. When teaching I really place the emphasis on connection to body first and then from that connection feeling and discerning just how far and how much to do of any one exercise
In recent years the gym has become a place where you can easily become overwhelmed with the degree of exercise that pushes us to the extreme. A place where simple weights and a cardio class is now being bombard with kick boxing, extreme weight lifting and high levels of intense core strength training. We are constantly being bombarded with images of people looking for the ideal body and pushing their bodies to the extreme. What you have shared here Gyl Rae is a very valid understanding that we have the choice to move with the tide of acceptance and feel the level of pressure we can pose on ourselves or chose to move against the tide and feel what is needed each day by listening to the body that gives us the strength to bring more vitality to our lives.
With the world so focused on pushing yourself physically to look good, it is lovely that you have found the importance of exercising as being an opportunity for connection, for honouring and nurturing the body and about commitment to yourself…. preparing it and yourself holistically for whatever is needed.
There is such power in simplicity, and such grace in delicacy that empowers us all to feel our true selves.
Reading this reminded me of how much I love swimming and that I haven’t been doing it much lately, I can also relate to when I feel tired not doing exercise and I have had the same experience that when I do exercise I end up feeling better. After work I often feel tired as I can feel I still take on things during the day, I am going to bring in exercise after work as a way to shift this while I also look at not taking things on in the first place.
Like you Gyl, I’ve found different ways to exercise over the years… from weights in the gym, swimming, to more gentle stretching and Esoteric yoga. Even with walking there is a choice between a brisk walk up the hill, or a more cruisy one along the lane. The important discovery for me is I can exercise in tune with what my body needs or what I feel… it does not have to be the punishment I mistook it for from school.
Ah exercise.. it must be a myth that exercise isn’t needed when we are tired. Exercise can help us return to spaciousness within our bodies and that isn’t exhausting at all!
inspiring Gyl. Our body becomes hard and rigid when we impose on it a way it should look, or start to compare ourselves to others or images etc. You have presented a true exercise regime for the gym, love thyself by lifting weights! cant wait to try it.
We can be so driven by should’s and ought’s, that they can really run our lives…. Much better to let our hearts lead, and to honour the natural intelligence of our bodies.
I have noticed that my body loves to exercise when I have no preconception of what I need to get out of the session, in terms of feeling better or achieving a look, but am just taking myself along to the gym in a playful, sensitive and tender way and making the workout enjoyable. This has been a great way to build up strength and vitality and awareness how my body really wants to exercise.
I like that list of what is you and what is not. A beaut reminder that when I am in my head thinking a lot, it is not me. As I am not living on connection to my body. Thank you.
I have a solid rhythm with exercise but there are days where I feel stiff and don’t want to exercise, yet it is on these days that I know the exercise will really support me. It is for me getting over the idea that I have to make it a full workout but can keep it light and focus on stretching and lengthening the body. At the end of such a workout I feel lighter and much more prepared for the day ahead. That is the power of exercising gently, it is never a chore but really enjoyable when I let go of needing to make it heavy or hard.
That’s awesome Stephen. I totally get the idea that a session needs to be a full on work out. I’m working through that one myself. It’s such a made up story, and simply sets us up to fail.
Thank you Gyl Rae, beautiful said – as it exposes the lies that we have made about basically anything – that we can not do this, or should not do that – but we actually never truly connected to our body to see if we are able to that – but based it on our heads ideas. Great time to start living from our bodies and connect with them so that we can make choices based on that instead of our minds walking away with it!
Thank you Gyl, I agree with everything you have shared about going to the gym, and exercising can be a loving thing to do. Recently I committed to exercising more as I have a demanding job doing shift work and travelling overseas regularly, so for me it wasn’t about looking good – it was to support me to be able to truly serve without feeling drained or exhausted at work. I am amazed at how much better I am feeling at work from stepping up my exercise program, nothing rigorous just regularly walking and doing light weights and swimming occasionally and stretching the body has made a great difference to my energy levels and well-being.
I love the connection to my body when I am at the gym now. I have spent years abusing my body with my gym workouts -pushing my body so hard to look good on the outside. I am realising now that how I look on the outside comes from how I am on the inside so my gym sessions now fully support me.
Hello Gyl and certainly when you look at exercise like this it makes it a lot lighter to do. Exercise is about connecting to your body as you are saying, a check in. I love stretching because it wakes up the muscles in each part of your body ready for the day or winding down after a day. I use to exercise to look good and never really worried about how it felt. I remember being really good at running but loathing every minute I was running. It didn’t make sense but the ‘being good’ at it kept me going but I knew it couldn’t last. At times it can be still difficult to listen to what your body is saying to you and I override it but when things go astray this is the first place I look, how I am feeling and treating myself.
I worked out with a friend for the first time today and she was under the impression that woman have to do hard weights, as heavy as possible with few repetitions in order to build muscle. We did my style of workout with more repetition and less weight and chatted and really enjoyed ourselves as we did it. She told me she had only been going once a week but with this kind of workout could see herself go more often.
Thank you Gyl, bringing connection and taking the drive out of the things we do whether it be going to the gym, working at a computer or hanging out the washing brings a completely different relationship with everything – one of joy, lightness and playfulness.
Loved coming back to your blog Gyl. After feeling for over more than a year that I would love to go to the gym I made the commitment to go for a free try out day. Wow! Amazing. I haven’t felt this warm and full in my body for a long time! I agree when exercising honouring my body and what truly supports it, it is very supportive for more than just our bodies. What stands out for me is that I do not do it to improve myself, but to support myself with a more vital and fit for life body. I have been feeling a little down lately and can understand it is because of holding back in supporting my body this way. I look forward supporting myself like this in the gym as I am for sure getting a subscription! 🙂
Great how you have shifted the lens from the fixed view we tend to embrace, that exercise is about keeping the body in shape – a certain, pre-ordained shape coming from the ideals and beliefs on bodies that abound – by doing certain repeat routines and circuits when in fact, exercise is simply about body awareness, being in touch with the body, reading where it’s at and what it needs to keep it vital, not what a chart suggests it should have imposed on it in pursuit of an unattainable ideal.
Hi Gyl, this has been a great read for me as I have stopped going to the Gym because it felt too hard in my body and that I was overriding what is loving for me. I now realise that it is in the way I bring myself to exercise and my ability to stay with my body and breath through the process that is what makes it a gentle and loving activity and one that will bring much more to my life.
Connecting gently to our bodies with the simplest of exercises can be amazingly profound, and have an amazing effect upon our energy through the day.
I was re reading this blog, and it reminded me that exercise can be done to suit the way I’m feeling – a lighter session in the gym or the pool if I’m feeling a bit sensitive or tired has just as much ‘value’ as the full 45 minute version when I’m full of it!
Thank you Gyl, I really enjoyed reading your blog , giving me a fresh feeling about how loving, joyful and supportive, exercising with body awareness can be.
I used to feel tired and go to the gym to push and hype my body with intense exercise, but this only lead to exhaustion or illness. Now I go if tired and like Gyl, do a gentle workout and wow it is quite amazing how you feel accumulation of energy while spending energy. To me this shows Gyl is right, it is getting out of one’s head and connecting more to the body that reverses that feeling or lethargy.
It is weird … to get in the pool late on a Friday after an intense week, perhaps feeling a bit washed out. And then after some squad training to hop out and to feel completely re-energised. It’s washed away the day, and at the same time I feel fully present in my body, with my breathing and the feeling of a long heavy week has gone.
I agree Linda. There are various types of exercise people can do and obviously people have their preferences and things like location make a difference in what is available. But the main thing is how we go about the exercise. I have come to realise that my head is often no where near being in tune with my body. I have been making more effort to stay with me as I swim or walk or whatever and it has shocked me how easily I find my mind wanders off. Yet when my mind and body is in sync I feel the way the tension leaves my body and it definitely feels much more honouring and supportive.
I enjoy exercise but there are times when I have definitely pushed myself with an ‘I have to do this’ attitude. Reading your blog Gyl reminds me that there is a much healthier way to exercise that allows the support to be a two way street with my body. The more I support it through being aware of it’s needs and adjusting my form of exercise accordingly, the more it supports me back. Thank you!
I love how you say that going to the gym and doing exercising is about building a foundation. This makes total sense to me and the quality of that foundation is paramount. Thank you Gyl, you are inspiring me to go to the gym again and strengthen my body.
everything changes when we make the choice to connect to ourselves, from work to relationship’s to sleep, when we experienced the paradigms shift from reaction to reflection and observation, then the world rotates as well.
Gyl I just love how you shared it was how you ‘had been choosing to exercise that was hard, not the exercise itself’. It reminds me of the body attack classes I used to attend for a long time and absolutely loved while I was there but gradually found that when I would get home I would need to have a rest sometime that day to compensate and allow my body to catch up. I now understand this was my body telling me that I didn’t need to go to such extremes to be fit. I have always enjoyed exercise but now have a much gentler approach to it and am finding I actually enjoy it even more than I used to.
Love it Suse, you could equally write that ‘[we] had been choosing to [live] that was hard, not the [living] itself’!
“an amazing opportunity to honour my fragility and vulnerability”
Most people would not think that these words related to a gym experience so it is so refreshing Gyl for you to share how fragility and vulnerability can be loving aspect of a gym workout! This is revolutionary!
Anne how incredible would it be if men and women alike saw the whole of life as an “amazing opportunity to honour our fragility and vulnerability”
I have really enjoyed exercising in this way, feeling what an exercise feels like as opposed to trying to knock out 3 sets of however many. I feel like my body has changed shape as well which wasn’t the aim but feels much better in my clothes.
I love this blog Gyl I returned to it today for some more inspiration with regard to how I approach exercise. Thank you again!
I agree Ariana, well said, many people, myself included at one time, exercise from a place where they are not happy with themselves. And yes, this is doomed to fail as we are setting ourselves up with a picture in or head of how we want to be, continually punishing ourselves so to speak for not achieving this, or driving ourselves so hard we loose all true connection with our body.
This is a beautiful inspiration Gyl. I love the way you have described the way going to the gym and exercise in general, is a choice to support your body or make it about developing your body by pushing and hardening it. It’s an important difference that has inspired me.
This is a great article for me to read Gly, I am inspired to go from “Should do or have to do” to something I love to do. …” Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.” This I am looking forward to experiencing when I make the commitment to exercise with me in gentleness, thank you.
Well spotted Jill – should do’s are incredibly difficult to maintain and always come with that little bit of resentment. Love to do speaks for itself.
Gyl thank you so much for this blog, I have had the pleasure of experiencing a gentler approach to exercise and found those classes very supportive, but these sentences perfectly pinpoints how intention and attitude make all the difference, I will keep this thought with me when I exercise:
“if I make exercise about my outer and how I look, I go into my head and my body hardens – it becomes about drive and something I do… Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.”
“not a ‘should do’ or a ‘have to do’ – it is a ‘love to do’ “
Ive always enjoyed the gym, however these days I no longer do extreme training asI have found doing light weights and gentle motion so more beneficial
I am still working on being connected during exercise. I have had a lifetime of exercising with a push, a goal and not feeling as though I had achieved it unless completing what I had set out.
Bringing exercise into my life has supported me deeply, it has enabled me to be more aware of my body, strengthen it and it supports the activities I choose to undertake in life, it is part of my foundation.
Thanks for sharing Gyl, it is lovely to read how you have rediscovered exercise in a way that is loving and confirming of your body. It is inspiring to just feel where I have still not really connected to the support exercise can be for my body.
Thank you Gyl. Today I have a headache and it is raining outside and until I read your blog I did not feel much like going for a walk – you have inspired me. I can don my wellies and put a big mac on and walk round the fields – why not , it will do my head the world of good too.
That is such a good idea Elaine, I would have snuggled down but you are right, reading this blog makes me see how your walk around the field might have been just the ticket!
Beautiful to see the inspiration from the blog being put into action – our expression can inspire so much change in the world.
Thanks Gyl – I know I get caught up in the trap of of going off in my mind and focusing on a hundred different other things while I am exercising, rather than staying present with myself and allowing my body to be the communicator. It makes total sense that there are also different impacts on my body according to my choice of approach.
I can relate to this Helen. I have most often used my exercise time to go into my thoughts and plan my day, week. or whatever. Rarely did I use it as a time to connect with me.
Gyl, a great reminder for me to be with my body when exercising and to feel all of me rather than letting my mind take me to faraway places! Thank you.
Gyl- i love this as a gym goer myself i also find it a great support and like you i use free weights and machines and feel the total honouring of the body through exercise.
I love to go around 5 times a week and its a chance for me to connect to myself and truly feel the body.
A great blog and thanks for sharing.
Connecting with ourselves and our bodies is so confirming and in this gentle reconnection we can feel the loveliness that is inherent in all of us
“For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.” This is great advice Gyl.
Gyl – what stood our for me was “if I make exercise about my outer and how I look, I go into my head and my body hardens – it becomes about drive and something I do… Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.”- thank you for this wonderful and important reminder when I go about doing exercise.
I have exercised in a hard way my entire life. I used to say that I loved it and loved the feeling of my body hurting the following day as that meant that it was working and I had achieved my goal. I would not be happy if I didn’t achieve the distance that I had set myself and would be very hard on myself and felt that I had failed if I didn’t go that distance everyday, even to the point of making up that distance the following day. This was all in my head and I am adjusting to a new way of being but I have to say that I don’t find it easy. I still find that I often go into my head whilst exercising. It is a work in progress.
This is such a great blog for me to read. My exercise program has never really been consistent, but working in an office all day I can feel I need to exercise regularly to support my posture and energy levels at work. I always feel great after I exercise – isn’t it crazy how we can avoid the things we need the most?
So true Abby. Avoiding the things we need the most is almost like saying I can live without oxygen but instead of having an immediate effect (death within a few minutes) there is a slowly developing effect that allows us the choice to self disregard!
Like you Abby, I spend alot of time at the computer during the day. When my exercise is consistent I can feel the support this is for me during the day – in my posture, in providing me with a very strong connection to my body (rather than spending the day in my head). It’s been a game changer.
“we just can’t sustain consistently making ourselves wrong” – awesome Ariana; this article and comment can be applied to anything in life. As you both raise, we need to be connected to the body and feel into what is needed at the time. No pictures to trip us up and beat ourselves up with.
I love that through the connection you choose to hold and develop, you are offered what will support you and deepen the connection. It is so freeing to step out of the mind and what it tells us is needed, and step into the body and allow it to guide us in what is true for it.
I love how loudly this has reminded me that moving my body with exercise and walking is a huge ‘love to do’ for me too Gyl. Why would I ever neglect myself what I, not only love to do but that my body loves me back when I do it? Answer: not necessary. Choice: Love.
I am one of those people who avoid going to the gym. What is interesting is that when I go to the gym, or go for a swim..I always feel amazing in my body afterwards, which has lead me to the realisation that I still have patterns in my life to avoid feeling amazing in my own skin. How crazy this is.
“So for me, going to the gym, exercise, swimming and walking is not a ‘should do’ or a ‘have to do’ – it is a ‘love to do’ – it is about joyfully connecting, honouring, nurturing and committing to myself and to my body, so that it will be of support no matter what is truly asked of it.“
Thank you Gyl for sharing your experience with us. If we support our body with the training it needs it can be a part of a self loving ritual.
Thank you Gyl for your amazing blog. You describe very well the difference of – doing exercise by the head or doing exercise by the connection to ourselves. Very inspiring.
“For me the key is to stay connected, to not be drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing, but to truly stay present with myself and how I feel from within.” I agree Gyl. This morning i went to the gym and could feel how the whole set up of the gym is about checking out: the loud music, the TV everywhere. People pushing their bodies to get stronger or people wanting to loose weight. It is not about coming to train your body to support it and enjoy the movements you are doing in the gym. But rather to fulfill an ideal of a strong men or having slim body.
What an inspiring blog! This is so true “I used to work as a fitness instructor, personal trainer and yoga teacher and for a while was put off going back to the gym because I ‘thought’ it was too hard for my body but in truth it was how I had been choosing to exercise that was hard, and not the exercise itself.” It makes me wonder how many of us are put off from doing any exercise because of what we are led to believe that exercise is about pushing, driving, pumping etc. On some level we know we have hardened our body and it doesn’t feel great but we learn to override this feeling. I know I certainly have… I knew something wasn’t right with the way I was exercising but didn’t know exactly what it was and so gave up altogether on exercise. It is such a confirmation when I came across Universal Medicine in showing me there is another way to exercise even though at the moment it is walking; that exercise can be fun, nurturing and very supporting in building a connection to the body.
I disliked sport at school immensely and because of that I avoided exercising altogether. Only recently out of necessity did I experiment beyond my regular walking using weights and general exercises and found that I really enjoy exercising. I have also realised that when I exercise if I do it with an agenda to look a certain way it is a draining experience and I can feel flat and tired afterwards. If I exercise to support my body to do what it needs to do during the day without fatiguing I feel calm, connected and strong.
In the past I was a gym visitor but due to the loud music/flashing advertising on screens combined with the fact I often went into comparison with the other gym users I got completely lost in the ‘ lets get this this over and done with’ attitude. I would come away feeling quite ‘buzzy’ and on a high. A few weeks of that and I would leave not to return. What you share is so inspiring Gyl and I do feel now that if I was to return the distractions would not penetrate and my gentle focus would be more about how I could best support my body and maintain a connection at all times.
Thank you Gyl. After reading this I’m feeling inspired to get back to the gym as a way to support my body.
Gyl this was so inspiring to read again as I have begun to introduce light weights as a choice of exercising again and have been truly enjoying the strengthening and support it offers. I do love exercising my body and find that it always offers me the opportunity to deepen my connection through movement whether it is to choose to return to me or to confirm love that I have been living.
Reading this blog is very timely as I have started at the gym to build strength in my body which feels very supportive and loving. What I find is it is very easy to be observing everyone else instead of focussing on what I am doing and how my body is responding . This is a lovely reminder to stay connected with myself and feel what messages my body is sending that way I won’t go into over drive.
Oh Gyl, this is so great for me to read. I have always done exercise with a push, having a real no pain, no gain attitude to it. It has taken a long time to turn that around as I have done that for so long and still have a way to go, however reading your blog shows me the real exercise and it feels so lovely to appreciate that, thank you.
I love going to the Gym too and since attending Universal Medicine presentations, the way I do my Gym work has also changed in that I stay connected to me, my body and check in all the time how much and how often my body wants to do something,. My whole exercise routine has changed in that everything has become much slower,much more gentle, and if I can’t breathe through my nose I know I need to change what I do. It feels so much better than ever before when I exercise honoring my body.
Exercising to how the body feels to is very honouring. As opposed to following a set routine in-spite of how the body feels.
It is true Concetta, and much more fun. It can be great to have a program if needed, as these can be of great support, some people can feel overwhelmed when they walk in a gym and don’t know where to start. But also to know on days when we may feel more tired, or vital, then it’s okay to exercise in a way that supports the body, rather than override it.
Sometimes the routine really helps to give the session some focus but it can never be greater than focusing on the connection to our body. If we combine the two it is like a healing session as we also get an opportunity to see what our patterns are….do we throw in the towel a little earlier or do we push through when we should have stopped?
Yes. I’ve experienced similarly, how picking myself up gently when feeling a bit sluggish, heavy or tired and choosing to do some exercise has changed the whole way of feeling me and that feels very lovely
Reading your blog is a true inspiration, as you have really embodied, what you are talking about, it is palpable through every word you have chosen. I like to feel the joy and tenderness you have developed with doing exercises. I am still on my baby-steps-back to exercise, after doing it my whole life to achieve a certain weight or look, to control my body (because I didn’t want to feel my vulnerability and fragility) and nearly as an addiction for to check out. Now I am much more aware of my body and make much more loving choices than ever before. It is definitely the time now to develop my own new way of exercising. Thank you for reminding and inspiring me to do so. And doing it WITH the vulnerability and fragility, instead of doing it to avoid it, will be great…
The other morning I was really tired and just didn’t want to exercise but I decided to get up and go to the gym. It was great, it woke me up and got me going and instead of the day being a drag it was much easier and the day just flowed and was much more enjoyable. I came home from work with much more energy.
In the past when I have felt tired or sluggish I would always think my body needed a rest and never would I entertain the idea that exercise could be supportive for my body in that moment. I realise that sometimes when I feel a resistance to exercise and don’t want to do it that it is actually what my body is asking for; it is a question of not letting the thoughts overrule but simply get on with the exercise!
Great confirmation Kristy of how exercise can supporting us to be fit for life, be it at work or whatever else we need to do.
i also am re-discovering exercising as a love-to-do. This article inspires me taking it further into the gym environment too 🙂
The title of your blog so resonates with me Gyl, as I also go regularly to the gym and since attending Universal Medicine presentations,my work in the gym has drastically changed too in that I listen to my body exactly to what is needed and how it feels. So much more enjoyable now for me going to the gym connected to me and my body.
Me too Ariana. Years ago when I used to go to the gym, my goals were purely to tone up to look good on the outside. If I hurt my body while lifting heavy weights, so be it. And in fact, I subscribed to the quip, ‘no pain, no gain’.
The way Gyl describes using the gym now is worlds away from my old way, but I am prepared to give the new and improved way, one of connection and love, a real go.
I often hear what you have shared Suzanne when I am at the gym. “The notion that if you not in pain your not really exercises the body. Feeling fatigued and unable to exercise a few days later is now considered the norm.
I haven’t been in a gym for years but I am now inspired Gyl, to go and use our free gym at work, be it for 20 mins or an hour, whatever feels good.
Why do we go into the gym is a great question. What do we bring into the gym is another great one. What does the gym do for us? If we go and simply observe, we will come up with several different answers. The key, I feel, is to let your own body speak on what it needs every time and to choose what you will do. People tend to go and execute routines prepared for them by someone that ‘knows best’. It is great to have them as support but we have to be careful that we feel into what we do. I remember how I got injured the second day of my routine for doing what the instructor prepared for me. From that day on, I do not give my power away to them.
Great point, Eduardo, every day will have a different focus and the body will let us know what it needs if we listen. There is a profound joy in connecting so intimately to what the body is communicating, something I am really beginning to value in my life, and as a result there is less overriding with the mind and the ‘should dos’ of exercise. We know what our body needs.
It was good to read what you have said here Eduardo as I am following a routine that the personal trainer has set for me. I now realise I need to be very connected to my body and feel what it needs and not continue with a routine because it has a start and a finish.
Thank you Gyl. A beautiful fitness lesson in having fun while exercising so that your body relaxes and enjoys the session rather than the hardness and drive to achieve a goal.
Thanks Gyl, you make great points about what exercise is for many of us and show a different way – one that is so much more loving and sustainable.
Wonderful Gyl it is a huge paradigm shift to move away from that strenuous exercising, dragging our bodies through so much, often feeling exhausted as a result – to instead tune in to what our bodies need and exercise purely from the intention of supporting our body to support us in life… it’s a revolution in the making.
It certainly is a paradigm shift Anne, to experience exercise and in particular going to the gym, as a way to stay tuned to our bodies and commit to supporting them in the loving way that Gyl shares. Inspirational!
One of the initial and foundation choices to start to love ourselves is to connect with ourselves on this deeper joyful level, and from this connection we can start to make even more loving choices about the way we exercise, the way we eat, the way we love, the way we live.
I used to easily write off going to the gym, had the past ideals of how you should train or be in the gym, feels awful you can never match up to these, how could we, we have made it so unreasonable… Go for fun check yourself out they have great full length mirrors, something that takes away the pressures of having to perform or get that perfect body!
I have been feeling to go to the gym for a while now and this blog makes it even more something I would love to do soon. Thank you for sharing Gyl, this turns the whole fitness industry on its head: exercising to feel how amazing you are and support your body instead of building muscles, loosing fat to improve yourself and how you look from a feeling of not being good enough, that is often hanging around in fitness centers.
Gyl what you have written has a depth of experience that punishing exercise just doesn’t bring. I used to feel amazing after pushing myself very hard with exercise but I was like a drug addict, I felt crap without it and gradually the effects began to wear off and I would need another fix. Over the years I couldn’t get the high that I used to get and eventually my body just broke down !
I had an experience recently that felt like being pushed off my bicycle- just spending half an hour at the gym, I walked out all bent out of shape. I absorbed the music, worked out with intention to build muscle and even compared myself to the others working out. Going to the gym has been slowly changing for a year now, after many years of being a show pony and not present at all. It goes to show that in a body (mine) becoming more used to presence and spaciousness, that when pushed and contracted and letting the mind wander – really feels absolutely awful. I see working out as a means of magnifying a certain quality and I really look forward to renouncing these old patterns and magnifying presence, self appreciation and connection to feel every part of myself. These sorts of work outs are completely awesome and help oneself hold steady and vibrant through out the day.
I so agree with everything you write Gyl, I started going to the gym last week and I absolutely love it. There is no push, no I have to or I need a result. Going to the gym is time with myself, joyful and playful, experimenting, going one hour or half hour, building strength and becoming more fit. Afterwards I go into the sauna and I feel re-born. So many births taking place here in Amsterdam since I am going to the gym….
Using exercise as another point where I can really stop, listen and focus on what my body is communicating has turned exercise from a should do into something that really supports me.
I had been to the gym some years ago before my connection with Universal Medicine and I was hard on my myself all of the time, in and outside the gym. Now I know what it is to exercise in a way that honours my body. And this way I exercise completely different one day or the other. I have been not consistent in exercising, so recently I felt that I did not support my body enough and started with daily exercising again at home. Reading your blog and talking to a friend about the gym makes me wonder shall I go back to the gym and re imprint my former experience?
I have found that we can fool ourselves into thinking we are doing the right thing by listening to our bodies by not pushing them or doing extra and by being gentle when in fact if our bodies are in comfort it won’t want to move in any other way. I recently started a programme of exercises some of which I find really challenging but I feel amazing when I do it and it was very different to the previous 6 months of exercising listening to my body and moving as it wanted. My understanding is that we need to be very honest about how we are and how we are living and we may need the support of a programme to bring the body up to the natural potential that resides within.
Thank you Gyl – it was inspiring to read your blog and very timely as I am feeling that a more committed program of exercise is what my body is calling for. I know how lovely it can feel when I do this and how alive and connected my body will feel.
It is a very valuable investment to develop a personal exercise program as we all have different needs and requirements. I love walking very early every morning and have a great hilly walk near my home which feels perfect for my body. I don’t like going to the gym but do enjoy doing gentle weights and exercises at home 3 x a week. I find it hugely beneficial taking care of my body and doing these exercises – I not only feel more powerful physically but also in myself!
Gyl your words here make complete sense and provided a sure moment of confirmation when you: “…..put off going back to the gym, because I ‘thought’ it was too hard for my body, but in truth it was how I had been choosing to exercise that was hard, not the exercise itself”.
In other words and it got me thinking back to my former gym/exercise routine days (pre Universal Medicine) where I can say that yes (!), exercise was indeed indicative of the way i held myself in life at the time – with a hardness, fear of battle or conflict, protected, letting selected people in, afraid of not being accepted, being good. This way was how I exercised, so no wonder at times I felt it to be a chore…because i would only be cementing more of that same ‘hardness of life’ in my body. But I kept on pushing with the discipline.
What your post shows is (just) how much we like to taint the present with the past, and that when we connect to the present, we may find that we are in a different space, making different choices, as in the case of connected-exercise, which agree, is now always a “love to do”.
Hi Gyl, I love what you share here about exercise being a ‘love to do’… in this way, it is one of the most delicious things we can do with our bodies, enjoying our connection… It is something i truly ‘love to do’.
Hello Gyl and very well said. This is my experience as well. We have long known that exercise is our friend but it is the way we do the exercise that can cause the problems. If we look at exercise as a connection point to our body then and as you describe we see exercise differently. I have experienced the same thing and I ‘walked’ away from exercise because of how it felt but now I have returned with a different purpose. I’m not there to lose weight, get bigger, lift more, run further, be fit etc. I am there with my body ‘checking in’ and my training is tailored to how I feel and not a program on a sheet. I love how you have described this Gyl, thank you.
I love how you end your article, Gyl, it can be extended to all areas of life, I find: Life is a ‘love to do’ since I have met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
A lovely reminder Gyl of how exercise can gently offer us a way to connect and feel my body, and to explore different ways that can support me to live life in a way that is loving and honouring the body rather than hardness and raciness that occurs when I just push on through life and listen to the dictates of my mind.
Gyl I especially related to your list and how I often don’t feel my body as a whole when I am exercising or moving. When I connect to my body as a whole when exercising I can feel the natural harmony and flow and honour when I am moving in dis-ease.
Absolutely agree Ariana, I never went to the gym as I found it exhausting and boring and as I always was in good shape (from the outside) I saw no need to go. There was no need to correct anything. Today I have a very different understanding of exercise and do it to build core body strength and support my body to hold me during the day in everything I do. Its more building a foundation than getting into shape…
I love that sentence: “It’s more building a foundation than getting into share.” I can feel how the Former comes from loving yourself and supporting your body in your life. When I exercise to ‘get into shape’ I feel how it comes from a reaction to a lack I perceive I have and on the other hand exercising as a part experiencing life in the body I have, connecting to the lovelyness in movement and enjoying my body in that is truely beautifull.
I have felt the same Rachel. I too didn’t feel the need to go to a gym as I was always fit. Joining a gym now I have noticed that exercise is about building a solid foundation that helps me through other parts of the day.
Rachel that’s great what you share, exercise is about building a foundation, build core body strength to support the body during the day and not about getting into shape. Now there is a true purpose for exercise.
Gyl what a gorgeous blog to read. So amazing how you have changed your way of exercising to supporting your body in preference the usual way many of us exercise disconnected from our bodies. Very inspiring.
Thank you, Gyl for reminding me that there’s a way to carry out what appears to be physically demanding activities without going into hardness. My work requires me to be physical, and sometimes I just get into the activity and busyness of it, and I am left feeling resentful and grumpy because I realise I have allowed my body to go into hardness and it clearly doesn’t feel right. Your list is a fantastic inspiration.
What you say Gyl resonates strongly, I can see that the hard and driven way I used to be, was with me in all of my life, not just in the gym. Very cool how when we see this hardness is not natural or who we are, we can start to re-discover all of life with a playful and simple approach. This way is definitely healthy, a lot of fun, and guaranteed to work-out.
So true Joseph, I also feel that this drivenness was part of the way I lived life, but I used the hardness and competitiveness that I felt within when taking physical exercise as an excuse to not support my body and take gentle exercise. Now as I learn to connect more to my body I can feel the support that physical exercise can offer my body when I choose to feel what messages my body is giving me.
It is a great point to hold presence and connection in a gym environment. There is energy flying around everywhere – sexual energy, vanity, forcefulness and hardness, competition, it all feels very imposing. When first joining the gym after a long break, I realised it was imperative to develop a consistent connection with myself in that environment. Just move gently from exercise to exercise, machine to machine, not engage with others too much, even found myself closing my eyes when working out on the machines. As this became a foundation for my workout, I found it much more enjoyable to be there and felt the joy more held. When I began to meet people from that place, it was interesting how they responded. It felt as if my steadiness and focus and quality in which I worked out was somehow understood and even appreciated, especially from the gym staff.
Well put Simon, it is so important for us to remain present at the gym so we don’t get caught up with what is going on
I really get this, I have been going to the gym in a completely different way recently. I do not say I am going to do 10 or 20 repetitions of this or 20 minutes of that, I stay with my body and feel it and I really connect and it supports me to know whether I what to continue or stop a certain activity. Lifting weights can be a get way to build up strength in certain muscles that support balance in the body. I am loving going to gym it feels very supportive to my overall well being.
Great blog Gyl, thank you.
What a joy it is to go to the Gym with yourself, listening to your body and feeling a deep love and appreciation for YOU.
I love the way you have reframed going to the Gym.
Such a timely read for me, Gyl and powerful. After 3 years of stripping my body of the excess exercise I did for most of my life out of drive, I am experimenting with exercise anew. When I exercise now, I feel like I’m really IN my body, if you know what I mean and the exercise has has a flow to it and a natural end point. I am naturally closing my eyes when my mind draws me to ‘check out’ another person’s body, helping me avoid comparison. And I’m finding I am choosing lower weights (I used to work with the heaviest I could manage) and I’m not wanting music like I used to, to distract and give me a beat to avoid truly connecting with my body. I’m particularly aware when I swim that the quality in which I swim has an impact on everyone else in the pool and that is both confronting and confirming of where I’m at and the responsibility I’m taking. Awesome blog, one to come back to again and again. Thank you.
I never used to go to the gym and firmly believed it was not for me. Imagine my surprise when I found that I loved it. I completely agree Gyl that it is all about the way you are with yourself when you do the gym work.
What a breakthrough! There is so much comparison, and fostering of the perfect body image, at the expense of how people are actually feeling, that to read about someone breaking through this whole paradigm and making the choice, even in the midst of this pretty toxic environment, is wonderful.
Gyl this is very timely. I used to go to the gym, use a personal trainer, run, do pilates – all of it. I haven’t done this for years and now walk regularly and sporadically use weights. Sporadically, as I have noticed that as I use them more regularly I tend to end up going into hardness and reverting to old ways. What you have offered here is an opportunity to observe and feel more of what is happening. To connect to the body more and from there feel the true purpose of exercise. Awesome!
Thanks for the inspiration Gyl… look out gym, here I come.
Amazing Gyl thank you so much for your blog. I was sporty since I am young and I was used to train my body minimum three times the week. When I stopped doing this hard training my body loved it so much that I was shocked how I could override myself so consequently. Now I am a bit anxious to start the training again and so your blog helped me to get an other understanding. For me it is dangerous if it “becomes about drive and something I do”. Your example of “feeling how I am actually lovingly supporting myself and than making a commitment”, to not override myself is a challenge for me but I can feel that it is worth it to give it a go.
Thank you Ester. I too played a lot of sport and was going to the gym 4-5 days a week when I was introduced to Universal Medicine. As I have become more aware of my tenderness and feel my body more and more, I am also shocked at what I have been able to do to my body. The easiest thing for me to do, as I became more aware of what I was doing, was to let go of exercise. Which I did. I know that exercising offers me great support in building my relationship with me by allowing me to feel and connect with my body. I have a small exercise routine that supports parts of my body that have been damaged by previous exercise. Reading this blog and comments have inspired me to be more consistent with my exercise. To be able to feel and appreciate my body, allowing myself to honor what my body is telling me is a beautiful experience. The drive, the goal setting, the contest with myself are things that challenge me at times, but it is an opportunity for me to deepen the relationship that I have with my body and with myself. It is inspiring and confirming for me to read about how many people have been down the same path that I was on, but now choose a different path.
Such a great blog Gyl, I have been feeling to commit to exercise more as I can feel how supportive it is for my body, this is perfect timing to read this – thanks for the reminder.
Hi Gyl. I really enjoyed what you shared here, and you have really inspired me. I have been avoiding true exercise for so long because I just lacked commitment to myself! It’s really inspired me to go back to the gym and commit to ME, not to the certain look I am to achieve so I can look more ‘masculine’. Thanks again.
Hi Gyl. I loved reading your blog. I had known exercise to be a ‘must do’ as I believed that it was ‘just one of those things that you had to do’ to be fit and healthy and so I had very ‘gung ho’ approach. But now I purely love exercising as it such a joy to connect to myself and my body in movement as I exercise. And as you have pointed out, I have also found it to be true, that at times it’s – ‘an amazing opportunity to honour my fragility and vulnerability, to not override it and feel I have to be or act a certain way. I can feel fragile and vulnerable, be all of me and still exercise – each time my body is asking me to connect to something deeper.’
I fully agree with “it (exercising) is about joyfully connecting, honouriing, nurturing and committing to myself”. It is absolutely vital to maintain a healthy and able body to live lovingly. Thank you Gyl for writing this.
great to read I can feel how exercising from our bodies can be so supportive. But if we choose not to and go to the gym to gain recognition, or feel better… we will get easily lost in that.
I loved re-reading your blog Gyl and I immediately felt how exercise supports me as well very much. I noticed too that I haven’t been exercising regularly the last weeks and how I feel not so steady. It is interesting to observe how I let go of things I know support me so easily when I am busy! I feel like I am going to do some exercise tomorrow morning.
Hi Gyl, I enjoyed your blog it reminded me of when I go to aqua fitness at the pool and how I enjoy
the hour in the water. As you say when I am connected, feel my body and play it brings so much more joy.
Thank you Gyl, this is very inspiring, to take exercise as a support in your daily life rather than seeing it as a must and pushing through.
Thank you Gyl for sharing your blog, I also love to exercise, but have had to re-imprint what is exercise, for me it is all about the quality I bring to and hold while exercising. If exercise is at the expense of the lovely tender being I am, then it is exercise that is running me which leads to pain, injury and fatigue. Where as when I honour the lovely tender being I am, there is joy, wellness and vitality.
So true Paul and Gyl, whenever I exercise in such a way that is at the expense of my body it leads to pain and feels draining. When I honour my tenderness and fragility of my body exercise then becomes a support and a joy leading to vitality.
Thank you Gyl for your article encouraging me to exercise with no need to achieve anything but just be with myself as I support my body in whatever I am doing. Exercising healthily is the same as eating healthily in taking responsibility for my physical body.
Definitely a great article about it not being what we do but how we are whilst we do what we do. A whole new way to look at exercise and gym work. Thank you Gyl.
Great blog Gyl – I too have started to do more regular exercise and love the way it supports my body for the rest of my day/week. Some great examples there of things to look out for when exercising – I know sometimes I can go into my head about which exercise I ‘should’ be doing and at what intensity instead of just listening and connecting to my body. If I stay connected with my body I feel so much better afterwards and not so tired or drained.
Thank you Gyl for making me aware of what I have really felt about Gyms. I felt that I was there for the outer me and its was always hard work doing the exercises. I can see now that the word that I could look at is ‘hard’. My body felt hard and thus tense, doing the work. I was creating more hardness in my body which was painful. Stretching my ‘hard’ body was also painful. So, I gave up on Gym work.
Your blog has offered me a different way of viewing my body when I am exercising – feeling it and what it wants, lovingly!
I really enjoyed reading your blog Gyl. This is a totally different way to approach exercise of any sort – To connect with the body and let the body tell you what is needed instead of thinking from the head which has no regard for the body. I haven’t been back in a gym for years but you have inspired me to return and experience the gym from feeling what is needed. Thank you.
It’s great to read how you’ve connected with what is true for you and what your body needs and how you change up or down with the gym work pending on how you feel.
Wow Gyl you’ve turned exercise upside down, from being something that disconnects us, to something that connects. I love how your exercise comes from how you and your body feels rather than a regimented ‘must do’ list or program.
Yes, Gyl, what you write is very inspiring.
Awesome supportive article Gyl, I am about to embark on going to the Gym and it is a big thing for me having never wanted to in the past. A great reminder to stay with me and not go into comparison with others or trying to look a certain way.
Thank you.
Wow, Nico, I loved your response here and am on board with you here where you say, by not committing to the wellbeing of my body I am withholding myself from having a true relationship with it. I too went into the thought that physical exercise was too harsh for my body and so have been spasmodic with my choice to exercise. Time to let go of that thought and let my body tell me what it wants as it is a most precious vehicle that deserves my constant and loving commitment to it.
The key you showed me Gyl, is the commitment to me and not to what others say I should do, look like or whatever. You give me also a great point to consider why I do not like to go to the gym: it is because I do not want to become hard, as I’ve became in the past by doing sports proving myself the feeling of being worth of anything and I can feel from deep within that this hardness is not what I choose anymore but for me is still associated with exercising my body.
By not committing to the wellbeing of my body I am withholding myself from having a true relation with it and disconnect from it. Now we have the perpetual going of not being connected with my body, which is my only vehicle in this life I have to lovingly take care of and, that is willing to tell me how I should take care of it when I accept that it asks for my commitment to it.
Thank you Gyl for showing me how to exercise in a tender and joyful way, in connection with my body only and not to prove anything or to fulfil any given picture. When I allow and accept that my body is the most precious tool I have in life and that it can give me a life of grace and harmony when properly looked after, I will joyfully commit to the connection with my body and there will be nothing in the world that can withhold me from that.
I am 15 and I can so relate to doing exercise for the purpose of making my body look a cretin way. However when I do this my body becomes so hard and I get aches and pains all over my body. However it all changed after I attended an exercise class with Danielle Pirera and she showed me how to listen to my body so that it can support me in my day-to-day life and for me to bring so much joy to my exercise.
Oh so beautiful Gyl. I am on my own path of re-embracing exercise currently and can so relate to all you have shared here. Exercise does feel so awesome and I love it!
I especially loved your quote “if I make exercise about my outer and how I look, I go into my head and my body hardens – it becomes about drive and something I do… Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.”
This is a revelation in how many people would view exercise. Something I will definitely be sharing! Thank you!
I could relate to so many of the ‘shoulds’ around exercise that you have raised. I used to feel I had to exercise in a certain way, number of times a week, and for an hour it wasn’t worth it. It made it all feel like hard work before I even began! Freeing up my ideas around exercise has made it fun again and something I love. Some days it is only 10 minutes of stretching or light cardio but it feels amazing. My body knows that it is being cared for and a little bit of exercise changes the way I feel for the rest of the day. Using weights can also be free of the ‘shoulds’ as you have discovered. It feels lovely to challenge my body a little, to feel my strength and feel my muscles warming up.
Gyl, so many tips about exercise and especially going to the gym here. It is always great to remember to try gentle exercise when I am telling myself I am too tired – I usually find it supports and lifts me if I don’t go into nervous energy. There is also something lovely about getting fit slowly and gradually, not pushing and enjoying the feeling of strength in my muscles without feeling I have to be too strong. I also come from a physical exercise background and I can’t believe how strong I used to be and what I used to do. To find a balance between the unnecessary level of strength I once had and being adequately strong for every day life is something I am still exploring – thanks for writing about this Gyl.
I loved your blog Gyl, especially at this moment in time as I have recently committed to increasing my level of exercise, which decreased about 18 months ago when I began a sedentary office job for the first time in many years. My level of un-fitness has crept in very slowly, almost without me realising it, but now it is time to return the necessary strength to my body to support the way I live and work. Having read your wise words I am certainly going to be approaching exercising with an expanded awareness of what my body is telling me – and I will be listening.
What you present here Gyl is awesome and I love how you describe the ‘gym’ as not being a discipline but a true support for the body.
I Just love your blog Gyl, as I have so adjusted my Gym work with my trainer now, and we are having so much fun and laughter throughout. One comment from him that came the other day was just expressing how much joy and lightness comes into the Gym when we start working together. Thank you .
“A love to do”, awesome quote to remember.
Wonderful Gyl . I am just starting to really love to do exercise for me for the first time in my life and it really does feel awesome. I will keep deepening this process bit by bit. Thank you for sharing.
I have never been a huge fan of the gym workout, but you offer another perspective which I am pleased to consider, including a great check list. With thanks Gyl.
This is awesome Gyl, thank you for so clearly and succinctly showing us how we can exercise with such joy and consideration for our bodies
Gyl this is such a gorgeous blog on the beauty of exercising. Although I don’t go to a gym, I love moving my body walking in nature, doing jobs in the garden or more recently doing True Movement classes to the sound of Glorious Music. With the latter, I have found a new freedom and a new space in my body I didn’t know I had especially in my upper body.
Great to re-read this blog, as a reminder that the way we treat and move our body in each moment is what makes all the difference – we are either loving it or hurting it.
A very loving blog. It shows that the gym is actually a place of deep connection to yourself, and to feel great in your own skin, rather than the drive to be better and bigger etc.
… I am off to the gym.
Really inspiring, will check it out by “loving to do” it.
I loved reading this blog. I’ve always enjoyed sports and feeling my body move during exercise, add a loving connection with myself into the mix and it’s a whole different ballgame. Thank you for your sharing 🙂
I loved your sharing , Gyl. I too had to learn to go to the gym in a very different way. I know now that I can be tender and super-present and remain connected to my body. If I momentarily slip into an old way of exercising, I am able to re-connect and return to feel my body and its messages. As you expressed, going to the gym can be done in very loving and supportive way. That’s when, as you said, it becomes enjoyable. Thank you.
I love your blog Gyl and how you describe how your body feels when exercising when you are connected to it versus when you are not as I can relate to this when I am at the gym. I can be very present with my body despite loud music and other people lifting heavy weights, or punching boxing bags, and I feel my own rhythm with how I move around the gym, which equipment I use, which weight to use, how many repetitions, etc. Each gym session is unique with its own rhythm. So like you, I go because I love it and how I feel, not because I should go.
Thank you, Gyl, for providing a new imprint of going to the gym … I have just re-signed to a gym after stopping it two years ago and then not doing any real exercise since then – boy, do I feel it, or rather, the lack of it! The lack of support for myself and my body feels yuk.
This sentence from your blog, “Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself …”
can remind me (if needed) when at the gym how I am supporting me,
and then to know that I will feel, “… much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.”
No further motivation required, I’m there!
Great blog, it was good to read about being present and the part about not being drawn into looking in mirrors, checking out other people, their bodies and what they are doing. I do that a lot at gyms, well I try not to, but I get real conscious of other people looking at me and so in turn, what they are doing. I also understand the feeling of not wanting to exercise after the way I have been exercising has been hard and outcome driven. For me, it puts me off exercising for a while until I re-imprint it again. It was a great reminder to read about your examples of how you have been choosing to live in other areas of your life, as well and what thoughts you get if you have been living certain ways- great heads up.
Gyl, I really enjoyed reading the list of things that one can feel from their body while exercising, and agree that it is a great tool to reconnect with our bodies in the first place. It helped me to appreciate, too, how different I exercise now as compared to years ago when I was trying to impress others with how much weight I could lift and how I appeared to other people, which really did harden my body and actually created a kind of shield, keeping people out. Lately, though, I have really loved to just feel my muscles move and stay connected with all the sensations of my body, never pushing it past the point where it wants to go, with nothing to prove to anyone. This really helps me stay present, is energising, and helps my body feel vital overall. Not having an agenda or goal (like gaining a certain amount of muscle mass) really allows me to enjoy the exercise much more deeply too.
I drive past the gym every day on the way to work and say to myself, ‘I should sign up’ but never do.
Gyl your short blog has completely ‘blown away’ all my ideals about going to the gym and how I should be training. You have brought real truth to ‘fitness instructions’.
I love this blog, Gyl, and your deeply honest enquiry into the way we treat our bodies and the level of care and attentiveness we take in listening to what it needs. And seeing exercise as a ‘love to do’ activity as part of a supportive self care routine breaks the fitness mentality so beautifully – thank you.
“…how I had been choosing to exercise that was hard, not the exercise itself.” An interesting way of looking at exercise and life in general, to step back and consider how we undertake an activity first and foremost and then doing it, puts life into wonderful perspective. I have recently restarted going to the gym and it has been great to feel me, without just going through the motions and being stimulated by the TV’s, music and people, but rather being conscious of staying with myself and appreciating how I am caring for my body. Lovely blog, thank you.
Thank you Gyl, this is a lovely reminder of how we can treat exercise – it is simply our choice to do this in a way that supports us. And as I have started to change how I exercise, my consistency and commitment has naturally increased. How lovely.
A great observation you share, Gyl, when you say that when you make exercise about the outer you go into your head and and your body hardens while when you make it a commitment to you it is a totally different experience – one that re-connects you with yourself and feel enriched.
Exercise is great, does wonders for body and soul. Whatever exercise you do, just enjoy and look at all the beauty, that surrounds you at the time.
Love it Gyl – this is brilliant, “So for me, going to the gym, exercise, swimming and walking is not a ‘should do’ or a ‘have to do’ – it is a ‘love to do’”
Such a fresh approach for going to the gym. This is indeed inspirational, not least for those of us who love to exercise, yet usually will shy away from using these facilities, as ironically we judge ourselves to be ‘not fit enough?’ to keep pace with all we believe is physically needed when we visit the gym. A brilliant article Gyl, thank you.
This a great article Gyl, such a different way of looking at exercise and going to the gym, beautiful, ‘So for me, going to the gym, exercise, swimming and walking is not a ‘should do’ or a ‘have to do’ – it is a ‘love to do’ – it is about joyfully connecting, honouring, nurturing and committing to myself and to my body, so that it will be of support no matter what is truly asked of it.’
There is a difference between strength and hardness in the body and being strong and having a physical support does not have to mean stress or strain or hardness in the body. I have also discovered in the gym that there is a way to lovingly exercise the body respecting its limits and boundaries for that day without pushing it too hard. So often we under-exercise or over-exercise without finding that happy balance in the middle.
Thanks, Andrew. I’m so glad you mentioned finding the balance between under and over exercising, as I have definitely been in the less is more camp. But I’m now finding that in order to really support my body to be able to feel vital and fit for life, it is important to get the heart going regularly and to keep developing my core strength (without going into hardening of course).
I agree Andrew and that happy balance in the middle which you speak of is what we get when we listen to our body and appreciate its innate strength and gentleness equally.
Thank you Gyl, you have inspired me to take up some gym style exercise again! The truth is, I do some quite heavy work around the home and in the garden requiring muscle strength. I went to the gym regularly during my working life when I still lived in England and worked in London. However, now I’m retired, I have become a sort of ” Horny-handed son of toil” with gardening, forestry and building work providing the exercise. I do remember though how proper gym exercise, with due consideration for ones body, can increase stamina and also help sleep patterns.
I have struggles with what exercise actually means to me vs. how I’ve been told to workout. I used to do high intensity training in the hope that I’d get a ‘bikini body’. Physically I looked very hard and almost male-like. Deep down I knew this didn’t agree with my body or how it made me feel. But I overrode that in the hope I’d look great. Through choosing to listen to my body and let it speak to me, and through inspiration from Universal Medicine, I started to look at the way I was exercising, and make changes that are much more supportive.
I’m not one to go for a 10 minute walk and call it a day, but I’ve realized that exercising doesn’t have to be about ‘no pain no gain’. For me it is more about continuously changing and building how I exercise. And that feels very supportive.
Such a great reminder Sue, thank you – yes how we are in all our life does affect everyone, sometimes I forget that. I’ll have a moment where I realise oh my goodness if I am being hard, self critical or judgmental with myself then this is how I am holding everyone, on the same note if I am being tenderly, loving, understanding and caring then this will be the quality I hold all others in too.
Hey Monica, that’s so cool and very awesome, that’s what I absolutely love – the joy and wonder of what our bodies share with us. For instance, I have been feeling recently to swim much more than go to the gym. I love the fact that I listened to my body when it felt cold in the water so I bought a warm top to wear whilst swimming and it just felt amazing – I’ve only had it on once so far and I wasn’t bothered about what anyone else thought, I just knew what my body needed in that moment. I’ve also been having fun honouring how long my body feels to swim for, and playing with that, and wow my body speaks loud and clear, even with things like sitting in the sauna.
Thank you Gyl. Recently I’ve been loving the half an hour I put aside each day to exercise.
Awesome Anna, that’s great
Hi Gyl, thank you for sharing your experiences of going to the gym. I find it inspiring, that you find gentle exercise a great way to relax after a busy day, “There are even times when I have been tired, and ‘thought’, “Oh I’ll go home and relax”… but then have chosen to go to the gym instead and done a lighter session, which in turn has felt so nurturing and supportive, and in truth re-connected me with my body, and out of my head.”
It’s so true Carmel, I have often found that this ‘tiredness’ is actually more an exhaustion from being in my head, and gently exercising, be it a swim, the gym or walk can be really supportive to bring me back into my body and feeling me. That’s not to say that I push through times where I am genuinely physically tired and need to maybe rest or take it really easy.
I loved that sentence too, Carmel and Gyl. Such a great reminder to keep moving my body. Just like they say: sitting all day is the ‘new smoking’: very damaging for your body.
Having done lots of yoga years ago, which made me very fit looking at the time, I always held onto that as being what I wanted to look like again. I have done exercise at the gym and at home since then, although fairly inconsistently, but I have recently realised that there was this lingering need to look good or get a six-pack again. I recently started doing exercise in a completely different way, choosing to do it only for building the strength that I felt my body was asking for, and not caring about how I look afterwards. It’s amazing to feel and listen to my body tell me exactly what it wants, some days a little more some days a little less, and be able to accept that I don’t have to push myself beyond my limits for some kind of ideal. I am feeling great, and if I feel great it doesn’t really matter what kind of body I have or don’t!
A beautiful sharing Naren and so true. Exercising with the joy to just move our body and support it for the tasks in life that we’re required to do, feels very playful and light.
Exactly Naren, when we let go of the need to be or look a certain way it creates so much more freedom and space, which in turn allows us to hear what our bodies are sharing far more clearly, and honour what we feel. There is such joy and absolute true freedom in this.
Good call Naren.
Thank you Andrew and yes I absolutely agree it feels completely different when we choose to exercise connected to our bodies from a place of support and care.
Absolutely Toni, I had amazing support in this past week which made me realise how often I see so many things as a ‘have to do’ and then therefore end up resenting them – which brings in the tiredness and frustration. But… when I see things as just an opportunity to connect to my feelings and express, be it in how I walk, dress or go to the gym everything becomes so much more simple, clear, light and fun, and to top it off my energy levels are boundless with vitality and joy.
So clearly and simply put this blog. I can feel just how much you support yourself in all areas of life. I have too recently returned to the gym after long absence and totally agree that in my experience it is the quality and approach to exercise that feels most important and when I do it from a place of supporting and caring for myself my body feels completely different to the old way of push and drive and have to.
Hi Gyl, thank you for this inspiring blog! It’s so lovely to read how you connect with your body in this way. Exercise has been a bit of ‘must do’ activity for me but I’m feeling how there is an outcome attached here rather than me truly wanting to connect, support and feel my body. There’s so much here for me to ponder on! I will be re-reading your blog regularly as inspiration in keeping me focused on bringing a deeper connection and joy to my daily exercise – thank you 🙂
Awesome Heather – thank you and yes exercise is much more different when we choose to connect to our body rather than seeing it as a ‘have to do’ or a ‘must do’ – which I know many of us have been or go through.
Thank you for your article. I don’t like going to the gym myself however I have made a loving choice to exercise on a daily basis. When I first started 5 years ago, I would be happy to do 10 push ups every day. I would also do about 20 sit ups holding my legs so I would not stretch my back too much. With time and the loving choices I have made for myself in terms of diet and a stronger sleeping rhythm, I can today do up to 80 push ups with hardly any strain and feeling my body really enjoying it.
It’s true Alexandre our bodies do love to exercise without stress or strain
Hi Gyl,
Wow if exercise was something we always did from and with the body it would change the shape of exercise as we know it. Thank you for opening my eyes to the possibilities!
Absolutely Judy, it definately changes the shape of exerecise as we know it when we choose to connect to our body and exercise from there. I can feel the amazing joy that we feel and is magnified through our bodies when we do.
Super article Gyl. I have been in and out of gyms for most of life but its only been the last 2-3 years that I have truly supported my body by exercising when it wants to rather than meeting some prescribed deadline. I always felt that I had to lift heavier and heavier weights or to push myself harder on the cross trainer to achieve any ‘real’ results, which in truth was me wanting to get bigger muscles so I would look good on the outside. I now find that I feel so much more supported when I let my body tell me if I want to do weights or whether I just want to do Cardio work. Like you I don’t put any time limits on myself so it could be a 20 minute or 1 hour session. All of this means that I enjoy going to the gym rather than seeing it as a box that needs to be ticked.
Tim I am absolutely loving your expression! What you share is so true – the part I really relate to (at the moment) is the box that needs to be ticked. I’ve become so aware not only with the gym but how much of our life, relationships, work, family is spent trying to fit in or other people into boxes or feel there are certain boxes to tick – how controlling is this. When really life can be and is so spacious, flowing, freeing and full of joy – if we simply allow ourselves to re-connect and re-learn to honour how and what we and our bodies truly feel.
Thank you for sharing, Gyl. I find your article really informative, confirming and supportive as I am one who has not enjoyed doing exercise. I have always rebelled against it, thinking it was something I had to do and was imposed upon, which is ludicrous as it was only me imposing on me and it was the ideals and beliefs I had regarding exercise that gave me the feeling of being imposed upon. It has been the teachings from Universal Medicine that have helped me turn that around and to start feeling loving pleasure in exercise.
Absolutely Jonathan, it’s all the ideals and beliefs we are sold and buy into that stop us from feeling how joyful, amazing and loving it is to exercise in this way. It’s funny as I went to the gym tonight after a little spell of being away, and instantly felt that joy and connection to my body and was like why have I not been back here sooner – it’s amazing how such a simple movement and connection to our body can bring us straight back to who we really are, that joy, simplicity, connection, love, vitality and take us out of our head and all those thoughts that try to lure us into believing all the stress, complications, doing and drama – which we are not.
Absolutely Gill, it’s amazing to connect and honour how our body feels each day, whether that’s a long walk or a more gentle short one, some light weights, a more vigorous workout or some gentle stretching.
Wow this is a very inspiring blog. It should be in the gyms everywhere as I feel so many people can resonate with this and it would help us to stop and see there is a more self-loving way to exercise.
I agree with you, Vicky!
Good call, it would be awesome to read this in a gym or fitness / health magazine …
Hi Gyl this is such a great article. I too used to push myself very hard at the gym, but I could never sustain it and would then go for months without doing anything. I have wasted £100s on gym membership over the years, joining in January and then not attending again after February. I started a gentle exercise program for myself last year and I have kept it up. I do 20 to 30 minutes every day and vary the exercises depending on how I feel. What’s great is that I do it at my own pace without any push or rush or goal in mind other than to look after my body. I feel better now than I ever have and really enjoy how strong my body feels. Exercise is no longer a chore or something to get through. It’s now a lovely part of my daily routine and I really feel the benefits of this gentle approach. It’s also sustainable because I’m not putting myself under any pressure. Win win.
Beautiful Gyl, thank you for showing us how delightful and delicate exercise can be. I too have exercised my body in a hard way and am now learning a new way to be with my body and work out lovingly. Its a true revelation and I enjoy feeling what is happening within my body when I move, when I swim and when I walk. You have turned the exercise ideal on its head and its great to read all your markers of when you are truly you and when you are not. Very inspiring.
Thank you Rowena, what a beautiful comment to receive, I too love feeling what is happening in my body when I move, swim, walk, or simply stretch, it just feels so amazing to have this connection, and always a beautiful wonder at what my body continually deepens and reveals, such joy. I love it too now clearly knowing when it is truly me and when is not – something we can all feel and know about out ourselves.
Yep, so true – one is definitely all of me from inside shining out and one is so not, just all stuff from the outside that likes to think it’s me – but is so far from the truth. So simple, so clear and so true. What a great tool to use, (inside/outside) to simply write all the things you absolutely know are you, and all the stuff from outside that tries to impose on you. Whenever you feel to, you could use this at work as in what you bring and the stuff that you know tries to stop you, or observe in the gym how you feel and what you know to be you and the thoughts that come in to try take you away, or even at home.
Having recently taken up cardio and stretching exercising I am absolutely loving feeling the connection with my body with no push or 20 push ups! I hated running and exercising when I was young, but loved sport – loved the doing! But now I love being in touch with my body, having fun and feeling how this really supports my day.
It’s amazing Vanessa how much fun and joy we can have exercising and being in touch with what our body shares and how it feels. I have really been feeling the support of this connection to my body this week. I have been feeling really anxious recently, and through committing to a 10 min True Movement session each morning before work, there has been an amazing and instant change. I feel a much deeper connection with my self and body. I am much more present with myself, with other people and whatever comes up in the day, and a real sense of steadiness and solidness and so much more energy.
This is great Gyl. As I grew up my relationship with exercise was not great. I feel this stemmed from being forced to do physical exercise at school in all weathers and then having to take the communal showers afterwards which I found so embarrassing. My relationship with exercise now is somewhat different in that I now exercise to support my body and it feels great to honour myself this way. I do not attend a gym but have my own program at home which changes as I feel what is required for my body. I am giggling a bit as I remember doing numerous fitness videos at various times in my life and jumping around the living room at someones command. It now feels awesome to be my own fitness instructor but coming from what is required from ‘my body’ rather than achieving a ‘look’ or ‘goal’ set by someone else from the outside.
Hi Beverly I feel you make a great and huge point here, the way we are forced or have been forced to do physical exercise in school can have a huge impact on our relationship with exercise, how we feel and our bodies. Alongside what I remember as horrendous PE uniforms of white shirts and green shorts that were literally the size of a pair of pants, and yes outside in all weather conditions. This can be embarrassing for many, bringing up issues of self worth, comparison, low self esteem and other issues related to our bodies and how we look and even just not being seen or felt as good as another. So often in schools those who are ‘good’ or ‘excel’ at things are often championed or rewarded for being ‘better’ than others. I know many girls avoid swimming at school for a multitude of reasons and also one being because they are not given enough time, they say 5-10 mins to get out, showered, dressed, dry hair etc and to the next class, which then raises more issues as in being aware of pupils needs and how so often in school it’s about running from one thing to the next. It feels amazing to listen to our bodies and feel what is required, rather than seeking a set goal or outcome in comparison to someone else. I too do not always go to the gym, sometimes I feel to exercise at home, sometimes a swim, the gym or walking, my body shares loud and clear what it needs and I am learning to listen more and more. Sometimes I don’t always get it right but hey it’s no big deal, again just learning and then I know to trust myself the next time. I love the joy in learning and feeling just how awesome and amazing our bodies are in the wisdom and knowing they share with us.
I was just sitting with Naren’s comment about loving the simple choice, and that is the key, not only in the gym but so much of life, it really is simple. When we complicate and confuse it and create dramas of should I do this or that, then we know somethings up, as it’s taken us away from our body and into the dilemmas in our head. Even in the gym I find myself slipping back into the old routine of should I do this, oh i’ve not worked that part of my body yet and as soon as I do I know I’m in my head, and just stop, come back to a very gentle movement and re-connect to how gorgeous and yummy my body feels. Then it clearly speaks what do next.
Very true, Gyl!
Thank you Naren, that’s the key “love the simple choice”.
A fantastic article, Gyl! I love the simple choice that you present. And the realisation that if you are looking for outer results, your body goes hard, that is beautiful to share! Thank you!
Truly inspiring to read this blog and all the comments. I particularly love the strapline, ‘not a ‘should do’ or a ‘have to do’ – it is a ‘love to do’.
Absolutely Cathy, it’s amazing how much life changes when we look at things in this way. It becomes an absolute joy and there’s not one ounce of dragging our heels and our body, just a lightness and a freedom and honouring what we feel.
Thank you Gyl, I love how this article shows another way of having a relationship with ourself in supporting our body with exercise. Refreshing and inspiring!
Hi Julie, yes it is so amazing and refreshing, no two days are ever the same, there’s such joy and freedom in exercising in this way.
Yes Amina, Simplicity and playfullness is the key, exercise is to be en-joy-ed, not a punishment or an extreme.
Yes I agree with you both, exercise has been seen as a regime, a must do, and comes with a hardness. I now do just gentle stretches that support me in my work and walk everyday and swim when I can and I have found my body responds so much more to this than when I pushed myself to do a work out that became a chore.
Your sharing about the gym is really lovely. It makes me want to go too, and also begs the question, why haven’t I been going?
Awesome Catherine, probably because of how we assume or have been falsely lead to believe what and how gym can be, and the ‘type’ of person that goes to a gym, when really there is no type just ideals and beliefs,
I was pondering on this post again today when I was in the gym. I chose the rowing machine & started to focus on my breathing. I found that my gentle breathing then dictated the rhythm that I was rowing at. This felt amazing, flowing and harmonious as you say. Half an hour flew by and I felt the session was naturally done. I then went into my head thinking “I could blog about this” – needless to say, then hit my ankle on the machine as I was getting up!… An instant reminder that it’s not just about being present when I’m doing exercise, or doing X or Y, but about presence as a livingness.
🙂 Great reminder Anna.
A great reminder and a beautifully inspiring comment, thank you.
Thanks Anna great reminder!
So true. What a great reminder to something so powerful. It is easy to get carried away and leave the moment, when in fact as you say the moment was complete in itself!
I can totally relate to this and the article will be a great help for my and many people’s exercise regime. This is truly powerful and amazing to read. Thank you.
Thank you Ben
I have just been doing a work out inspired by Danielle Pirera’s Re-Connect Exercise Groups this morning, and have been building a rhythm with the exercises during the week. My body is loving it! I can feel the space increasing in my lungs and rib cage. My muscles are getting stronger and I feel a vitality with it. It’s so joyful to exercise and not push or strain but to feel how much of each repetition my body can handle in any one go. I also love the stretching and connective tissue movements at the end to bring the body back into surrender and stillness.
Absolutely Rachel, exercise is and can be so joy-full! And I love the feeling of listening to our bodies, they speak so loud and clear. I love what you share about the variation in your exercise and feeling what your body needs, whether that’s how many repetitions, with or without weights, cardio, walking or simply a stretch. I sometimes go to the gym and just spend half an hour stretching as my body absolutely loves this too.
Absolutely Susan, there are many people I have met over the years and still, I was one of them, who see exercise as a chore, or a drive, a push, something they’ve got to do, there’s no true enjoyment in it. It is amazing to feel the difference when we honour what our body shares, there’s no exhaustion or fatigue, just simple joy and wonder. I now leave the gym feeling amazing with a huge smile on my face and a little skip in my step.
Hi Gyl, so since my last comment I have had an exercise session with a Universal Medicine body work specialist and am delighted to say how truly loving it was. We are beginning with light cardio and simple stretches to enable me to begin to feel my body. It only requires 15 minutes of my day, a floor mat and just a small amount of floor space so no gym membership required! Whilst doing my stretches completely with myself, I remembered your blog and felt to come back and let you know of your loving effect on me. My body felt like it was melting into the mat, rolling along with absolute ease but mostly with love. I love how being present and doing really very little can have such an impact physically – I was absolutely exhausted later on that day as clearly the loving session really initiated my body to begin to let go and feel…
Thank you Rachael, feels so gorgeous to read
That’s so lovely Rachael, thank you for sharing your experience. I feel inspired to give my body this amount of love
too 🙂
It is incredible when we stop the way we have been doing things for such a long time and reflect to see if it is supporting us. From there, letting go of the hardness especially with exercise and doing what your body is asking you to do. Very Powerful as you say Gyl.
Absolutely Natalie, and this is relevant to so many areas in our life, it’s that simple stop to feel what our body is sharing with us, reflect how and what we are choosing and yes, whether this truly supports us, or is it simply time to let it go.
It is so true Rhiannon, a falsity and excuse that so many can get caught up in.
I love how you say it’s not the gym exercise that is bad but the way you do it can make a true difference! Thank you.
Thanks Gyl, I had also thought that going to the gym would be hard on the body, I had imagined it was about lifting lots of weights, pushing myself and being on a strict regime, but it feels lovely that you listen to your body and what it needs to support it and that it can be a tender and joy-full experience – very inspiring and lovely to read about a very different way of being at the gym.
Thank you for sharing Gyl and Rebecca, I’m one that finds any excuse not to go to the Gym. Lovely to be reminded that the Gym is there to lovingly support my body and all of me to be in deeper connection.
Brilliant article Gyl. Love it!
Hi Gyl, awesome blog, it’s true that so many people don’t go to the gym at all because they think any exercise will be too much, but actually it’s the way you go about it that can make or break a session, really practical and inspiring, Thank you.
Hi Rebecca, absolutely so true, what I have also felt and observed is how exercise can either be truly simply and joyful, or hard, driven, exhausting and a struggle … I know for sure which I would choose. 😉
Yes Gyl, thanks for writing this. It was absolutely the same for me when I went back to the gym after several years. Coming to the gym and being totally with myself and feeling my body in everything I did was gorgeous – a completely new experience and one that made the gym a love-ly place to be and I so enjoyed my interaction with everyone there too.
Awesome Elaine, 🙂 it feels amazing when we choose to make it this way.
Thank you Gyl and everyone else who has commented i feel what has been written has hit the nail on the head! So true that exercising whilst listening, respecting and honouring the body is so completely different to being goal orientated and fixed on an outcome. Getting back to just enjoying our bodies whilst in physical motion is pure gold, one that young children have naturally.
As someone who does a very physical job I aways avoided exercise like the plague. I resisted for a long time the advice that exercise would actually make my life easier and my day more enjoyable. Well I started walking before work with my wife and dog which then led to me doing sit ups, press ups and light weights. What a positive change it has made in my life! I wish I had started it years ago. I too don’t stick to a strict program, rather listen to what my body needs. Due to my great diet and this extra exercise I do enjoy the physical aspect of my job so much more. I’m 46 years old and I am now back down to the weight that I was when I was at school. Yay for me!
Ha ha absolutely Yah for you Kev!
I love feeling how awesome and amazing you feel. Isn’t it great to feel this way, I’ve had people comment on how much younger I look, what great shape I’m in, and I too am at my slimmest and sexiest ever, and that is without hitting the gym hard, just simply listening and honouring what my body feels and needs – there is so much joy to be felt in that.
Thank you Gyl. About a year ago I felt it was time to do the gym. Up to that point Jim was a guy’s name. Years of desk work and self abuse to my body, meant my nightly walk was just not going to cut it for the foundation I was building for myself. It took a few weeks to wake up slowly parts of my body that had been asleep for decades. I started and have continued with exercise, that feels right for my body. Like you said, there are all kinds of things to play with in the gym. Someone asked me how much I pressed or lifted and I replied, I did not know, I would do whatever my body felt was right that day. What I have observed with my time in the gym are the groups of people there. They are all trying to be something they THINK that they should be, slimmer, stronger, less fat, quicker, anything except who they really are. The petite women trying to live up to advertising standards. The knuckle dragging druggies (steroids), bigger is not better. The competitors, bigger, faster, quicker, I am better than you. The doctor referred bunch, work out or die sooner. The I can’t see my feet any more gang, I could not see my feet eight years ago but I did have a place to put my plate when I sat down. The ones that come to socialise and be able to say “I go to the gym X days a week”, their work out is the walk to and from the car. They have all, because of choices, feel they are not enough. I am still watching out for the other people at my gym that know they are enough and come for the entertainment. I wonder if the people who did the Spanish inquisition are now reincarnated gym owners charging people to torture themselves.
Hi Steve, it’s awesome you have felt to go to the gym and honour what feels right for you.
What I have come to realise over the years is that I too once trained like many others in the gym, with a hardness, a drive, a push, even an arrogance at times that I thought I knew more or was better, but the truth is that none of it was me, but I cannot beat myself up for this for I did not know, I too had left that deep knowing and beautiful connection to my true self. And there have been times in the past year or so, with this knowing and connection felt, that I would be judgmental of what I observed instead of simply and lovingly allow others to be, in the absolute knowing they are equal to me. And when I do, I feel nothing but absolute love for these people, I can simply observe how they choose to exercise through no fault of their own, (yes, we have all made unloving choices) but who has shown them, until now, that there is another way to be.
Awesome blog Gyl, I have come to the realisation that it is the quality in which I exercise, rather than the length of time or number of repititions involved, that supports my body.
Absolutely Elizabeth, quality not quantity.
Awesome blog, thanks for sharing. I have never been into exercise and have only just been discovering it, and creating a way of exercising that feels right for me. What I love most about it, is that when I commit to my exercise routine, and take that time out for me, it’s like a meditation, and it feels great to be in my body and not in my mind. I can also feel a greater strength in my body and it is being reflected in other areas of my life too. It feels great.
Same here Rosie it’s amazing just how much more supported I feel. If there are lots of things going on, I still tend to try and avoid exercise but in those moments when I feel I’m avoiding it and do exercise – I always feels great at the end – much simpler and there are less complications! I feel like I come back to me.
And…. for me the biggest joy now comes in knowing it is about people, that shifting from lovingly taking care of my body to actually realising this is not about me anymore, it is about everyone in that gym, just as equally as it is about everyone in life, to reflect to them there is another way.
I have come to this awareness too Gyl, On my recent visits to the swiming pool, I had the realisation that it is not just about me and my swimming programme but also about the quality of my light that I bring to the pool and all who use it.
Dear Elizabeth, this feels so amazing to read. Isn’t it lovely to come to this awareness, that life is about people.
Beautiful Elizabeth thank you.
So true Elizabeth – and beautifully expressed
This is awesome Elizabeth.
Thank you, Gyl, for sharing so clearly that once truly loving choices are made for ourselves it instantly isn’t about us anymore, it is about everyone in relationship with everyone.
Absolutely Matilda, it is amazing to know and feel that Life is about people, when we walk into a gym, work, supermarket etc (just examples as really this is about everything, everyone and everywhere) it is about the people in there, the people we have passed on the way etc, not just about us going to exercise, shop or work but how the energy and quality we are in and bring affects everyone else.
Yes, we are all connected to another. So how we are in the gym effects everybody. Everything we do matters for everybody.
Awesome guys, thank you so much for all the replies, each one absolutely shares how amazing it is to listen and honour our bodies, and for me the absolute JOY that is felt in that. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be carted out the gym for smiling so much when I’m exercising by myself, but you know what, people can’t help but feel it, and some huge smiles and comments are reflected back, not only in the gym but out and about in work, as Rebecca so rightly shares.
Recently there have been lots of comments from people who knew me before, when I was a full on hard core training addict, where my body was hard, muscly and very strong. It makes me giggle now, as what has been shared, “you look amazing, you must be training lots” is simply not true. I do exercise each day, be it a walk, swim, gym etc but much much more gently – there is no drive, push or obsession, but simply an absolute joy in connecting to my body and what I feel, and as shared I know I have never felt or looked more amazing.
Wow thats great to see that people really do notice the true difference. I’ve either avoided exercising or do it reluctantly on a mission! In recent weeks I have however felt much more naturally drawn to do some walking which has been lovely… just feels time to explore a little further!
Thank you for sharing Gyl – as you say: ‘exercise feels amazing, joyful, nurturing and really supportive’. I too was put off by past experiences and how most people use the gym, but now have my short time in the gym, go walking and swimming most days, staying with myself and it feels an important support to my daily rhythm. It helps me connect with my body and be present – whilst also giving my body the stamina to do what it needs to do.
I agree – its an amazing feeling when you workout for the love of your body and the work it has to do and hence to support it. I also love the idea you mentioned about using exercise and your body as a marker for the way you live the rest of your life – that is such an important point!
Thank you Gyl for this wonderful blog. You have totally changed my perspective and feeling towards the gym. As you say when you don’t make it about the outer it can be a playful and deeply nurturing gentle and loving experience. Thanks so much for the inspiration.
I have always been intimidated by busy gyms and felt very self conscious so have avoided them at all cost, but you have changed my perspective too. I can feel that by making it about connecting to me first and using it as an opportunity to feel what is going on in my body, going to the gym would feel amazing and supportive. Thank you for inspiring me.
This is the case for me as well – I had never joined a gym until I came to Universal Medicine and I am loving it now – an opportunity to connect to me and my body and feel into what is needed each time I go.
Awesome Sharing Gyl! Whilst even before re-connecting with the Esoteric – I have always worked out for the ‘Love of my body’ as you so rightly pointed out… but I feel a remarkable difference the past couple of years – I am not hard anymore in my body – which as a man is so easy to fall into the ‘trap’ of having ‘6 packs’, ‘lean n mean’ and all the other definitions the world is conditioned by for both men & women! I am much much more conscious in my body – and thus able to bring more love in when I work out these days – I find myself far fitter than I used to be – when I was in a sort of ‘hard core’ mode – and Yeah also feeling arrogant that I could do what most could not.. whether it was the gym or the great outdoors – (extreme adventure etc..).
Now I much more humble.. I look at others in the gym with compassion and assist them when I can with my learnings and am also able to be more ‘gentle’ with my own self.
What you have shared is definitely a great insight into how ‘women’ can look at exercise/workout rituals rather than a regimen… but it’s equally applicable for us men. It’s about the inner reflecting in the outer.. isn’t it!! THANK YOU! Ceejay
Hey Ceejay, thank you, I love this “Now I am much more humble.. I look at others in the gym with compassion and assist them when I can” just made me smile, as I can feel the love in that and you. It is so easy to go in with an arrogance of knowing better or judgement of what they are choosing, but a completely different to approach to it in a humble and compassionate way, truly serving. It reminded me of an experience I had with another recently in the gym which I brushed off, but I can now feel it was actually really loving,
The other day I was walking past a gym and there was poster on the wall that said “The fitter you are, the fitter you are”. Obviously, it was targeting men who are wanting to look good for the summer and hoping to attract someone in their swim gear. The accompanying image said it very clearly. This advert really summed up what a lot of going to the gym is about. We enjoy looking good and feeling good, but it’s selling to the need of another person telling you that you are looking good.
It’s really strange because it would seem obvious for a gym to promote self care and connection to our bodies, when it is our bodies that are being worked. But that is clearly not the case. So when we go to the gym to achieve that body we think we want, are we actually working on our bodies? Or are we working something else? e.g. the need to be seen as looking good? Does this need ever get relinquished by this tactic or does it only feed and grow the bottomless pit?
I am all for feeling and looking sexy. When I feel really connected to my body and I go for a swim, I can feel the grace and sexiness of all my movements, flowing effortlessly through the water with every stroke. That’s a sexiness that comes from inside and an appreciation to that connection. It doesn’t need anyone to tell you. Thanks for your sharing Gyl, because lately I have got into the ‘doing’ of exercise rather than it being an opportunity to be really connected with my body and have fun in the preciousness that I feel when connected in this way. Getting fit is only a by-product of exercise and not the ultimate goal.
Great observation Jinya. I have a Gym right next to where I live – one of the real power Gyms where I get the feeling many are modelling themselves on the likes of Charles Atlas or Arnie Schwarzenegger. I have often wondered – when there appears to be so much focus on an outward appearance or type of look – what impact is this having on the body and what happens when you stop? In the past, I always used the no pain no gain theory, but have since learnt that exercise can in fact be gentle and fun, and not in the least bit painful. This works better for me as I’ve never really been able to embrace pain.
And of course a lot of the gyms put many men off as they sell an unrealistic image that doesn’t reflect your average man. Whereas if we can ignore that and use the gym to just do what we feel, not what is expected of us, then the benefits of going to the gym can be so much greater than just how we look.
Great point Jinya.
The pun on “fit” ie: attractive to women or men is catchy but misses the real sexiness of feeling your own body and its movement.
There is a whole other form of “fit”, and it is not about aerobic capacity, but all about how fit we are for the whole of our life.
I am a baby learning to walk these steps, in which fitness is part of the everything that makes up my life.
Thank you Gyl for this lovely sharing. I never really loved sports for the push and competition it all comes with, but I always enjoyed exploring how my body feels and loves to move. After having neglected my body for a while out of confusion by going into my head and judging all kinds of sports to be bad for us I too am re-connecting with exercising for myself and exploring what is supporting me in this phase of life. And as you shared every day and moment it’s about checking in anew and feeling for ourselves what feels most joyful, nurturing and supportive. PlayFully so. 😉
Hi Sarah, I so know what you mean about being in our head and judging that all kinds of exercises and sports are not good for us, how untrue – I feel it is about how we approach them, the intent behind them, then how we choose to connect to our body, listening and honouring how we feel and move. It’s about keeping it light and playful and not over analysing, thinking about it too much as then that becomes about what we do, and takes away from the simplicity and connection to how we feel, and what comes next from what our body shares with us.
Hi Gyl, Thank you for your awesome sharing. I have found that the same applies to my working environment. As you say… “if I make exercise about my outer and how I look, I go into my head and my body hardens – it becomes about drive and something I do… Whereas if I feel how I am actually lovingly supporting myself, making a commitment to me, then immediately I, and my body, feel much more present, gentle, amazing, light and full of joy.” At work if I find myself trying to please a customer or impress a manager and my attention is outside of me the same thing happens. If I simply focus on the quality of my movements and stay with me and what I am doing the difference is incredible, and the job is no less well done. 🙂
Thanks Gyl – I am recently beginning to think about exercise for the first time in years. I used to go to the gym when I was a sales rep and couldn’t resist cakes, chocolate and beer. I never felt good, it was always a chore and I really felt uncomfortable with the massive hunky chunky men groaning everywhere… So I’m sure this experience hardened me somewhat. Since then I have quit smoking, drugs, alcohol, gluten, dairy etc etc and feel great! My acid reflux is on its way out after 15 years and I thought that was me done, after all I am a healthy size 8, why would I possible need to work out? Well it is now apparent that my body literally cannot cope with this influx of love that I’ve been giving it. As well as letting go of lots of my former disregard, I have little to no strength. So I am making enquiries about exercise of some sort – I will remember and refer back to your blog for support, you’ve shown a whole new light on the gym and self care. Thank you.
Wow thank you Gyl – this is such a refreshing perspective on exercising and going to the gym. I’ve always been “educated” & chosen to make it about the outer and how I look i.e. keeping “in shape” – which is why it’s always felt like I’m exercising for others and how they see me. I love what you’ve pointed out and that it’s just another lovely way to honour your body and support yourself, for you.
Likewise and well said Anna. Gym certainly was about the perfect body image – and never about how our bodies really felt.
Pain was an obstacle to overcome. I’m not sure society has really seen it as a way to honour our bodies – which is pretty crazy given we’ve created an activity sold into people to be more accepted.
I have also been turned off exercise in the past because of the drive and push that is so normalised and I didn’t like how my body felt when I moved like that. The phrase there is no gain with no pain is so not true! I have rediscovered exercising in a gentle way that is so supportive to my body and I am loving it! I even use light weights. (And there is no pain, only a feeling of building strength and stamina!)
How cool Rachel, that exercise does not have to be done in a disregarding way but actually in a joyful and loving way. It’s huge how much control we have over our body.
Although I completely resonate with everything written in this piece – having been a fitness instructor, yoga teacher and nigh on professional dancer as a child – I have still never wanted to enter a gym… until now. I thank you for this – your awareness and the light heartedness and fun I feel has allowed me the opportunity to perhaps try something new.
I had not considered going to the gym to exercise until now after reading Gyl’s blog and some of the comments. It has really got me pondering. I used to go to the gym many years ago and didn’t enjoy it. I felt hard in my body but now I realise I have an opportunity to consider how I can re-imprint going to the gym making it about connecting to my body and not about focusing on losing weight, having a flat tummy, keeping fit, healthy etc. which is how I have approached the gym in the past.
Hey everyone, thank you for your awesome sharings, greatly appreciated and all so inspiring in their own way.
What I have also been playing with and been aware of, is the absolute joy in exercising connected to our bodies and how much fun we can have, though this has now evolved to what about everyone else in the gym, pool, out walking etc. when I choose to exercise in this way, in my fullness, no holding back – what an amazing reflection this is for other people and a huge opportunity for them to choose another way – so it is not just about me and my body, it is about people.
Also another great thing I have been playing with the past few days, has been exercising specifically to support the job I do, something in my previous life as a PT I would have never have thought about. I spend a lot of my days walking, and standing for hours, so I am feeling what exercises would be supportive in this, are there any areas that I feel I need to strengthen, build etc.
with love,
Gyl
I love what you have shared Gyl, thank you. The difference between exercising to improve external appearance and exercising to keep our bodies well and strong to serve in everything we do from a deep love for ourselves and humanity… perfect. Then beyond that the impact of exercising in that way on the people around us.
Thank you Gyl for your article and all the comments. I have always shied away from going to a gym and resisted your blog as a result. Reading the article again has inspired me to be in greater connection with me when I exercise and to listen to my body more attentively.
Thank you Gyl and Mary I have only briefly gone to a gym several years ago and I drove myself so hard that my heart rate went up dangerously and I quickly gave up so I also resisted reading your article but now feel really inspired to re-consider going to the gym but to start by focussing on my connection when I am walking or doing gentle exercises.
Hi Helen, I feel it is all the same, whether we are walking, swimming, lightly exercise at home, in the gym, opening a door, making a cup of tea, simply going about our day – it is about focusing on our connection.
That’s it – spot on Gyl, focussing on our connection, no matter what we do. And I find in the Gym it is great to feel me and my body and do what feels right and that leaves me feeling good at the end of my exercises too.
Hi Gyl, I work as a support worker and what I have thought in the past is that I do a really physical job so don’t need to exercise outside of work. What you highlight here is that we can exercise to support our bodies to be stronger and even more efficient and vital in the workplace. I was under the illusion that I should just rest on my days off, but I am realising that this may not the case.
Absolutely Natalie, it is definately about exercising to support our bodies for work and it need not be on our days off. I work in physically demanding jobs too and what I have found is that often exercising on the way to or the way home from work (this works for me especially, almost like walking the day off or just clearing anything I’ve taken on) really supports me to build a deeper level of love, foundation and care for my body and also helps me to re-connect if I am feeling a bit off. Exercising in the morning too is a great way to start the day, whatever works best for you and whatever your body feels it needs.
For me the game changer was seeing that when I do exercise on a regular basis, how much support this is for me… whether that be in a busy kitchen all day or sat behind the desk crunching some numbers! Bringing a purpose to the exercise but not being goal oriented has transformed it from a chore into something I look forward to.
Absolutely Simon, I feel a real difference in my body and my way of being when I exercise on a regular basis. I feel much more support, connection to my body and clarity – and yes it’s something I absolutely joyfully look forward to.
A beautiful expansion Gyl – thank you. It is so true that we are connected to our essence, even when we exercise we reflect that there is another way to live with more love. And I also agree that I find that when I feel into what type of exercising is needed to support me through the day ahead whether it be walking, stretching, weights etc. it is so confirming as the connection to my body deepens and magnifies through movement.
Thank you Gyl, I just wanted to express my appreciation, you have inspired me to join the local gym, something I have been considering for a while now. I have, in the past, before I found Universal Medicine, been a bit of a “gym addict” making it all about body image and weight loss, but now I shall go the gym with more awareness of exercising to support my body.
Awesome Sandra.
The simple phrase ‘a love to do’ was spot on for me, Gyl. Thank you.
Thank you Gyl, I too am learning how very supportive exercising can be when it is done in connection with my body instead of an idea coming from my head.
I’ve found the same thing – if I go out for a walk to purposefully lose weight, then I find myself pushing myself and it becomes a chore and I don’t want to do it. When I go to just walk for and with myself with no agenda or errands – just simply to be with me… the weight doesn’t matter and naturally goes.
That is such a great reminder – thank you Gyl. I too love to be with my body when I’m exercising and have been practicing not in the gym but in organised classes. One is a dance class and I often feel some of the moves aren’t what my body wants and so at that moment I choose a different move rather than following what everyone else is doing. The other class is about repeating strength and flexible moves and again I stay connected to my body and go at my pace rather than trying to keep up with what the instructor is telling us to do. I come out from each class feeling great.
Dear Gyl, what a timely reminder your blog is as I prepare for my morning walk, to make exercise first and foremost about connecting to the body and enjoying feeling this connection. I am still learning to adjust to this new way of exercise having spent most of my life thinking that exercise was about the outer – which came from a drive or push to get fit, lose weight, be healthy, look better etc. As a result my body was terribly hard, not only when I exercised but ‘all’ the time in most things that I did (because most things I did came from this same drive to fit some ideal or belief I had in my head about what I thought I ‘should’ be doing to meet my own expectations or those of others, or simply because I needed to ‘do’ something to feel good about myself). Like you, there came a time when I realised this, but then what I did initially was stop exercise altogether, because I had in my head an idea of what ‘exercise’ meant and to me it had always been associated with this push and this hardness in the body. What I am now coming to feel and appreciate (as you have so beautifully shared) is that it is not about ‘exercise’ itself, but ‘how’ I exercise. I am no master at this by any means, however I am enjoying re-learning how to exercise in a way that supports my body and in which I stay connected to my body. For many years, all I did was walk, however now I am slowly re-introducing working with some gentle aerobic exercise and some light weights at home. I haven’t quite ventured back to the gym, however I no longer poo-hoo this idea, and if / when I decide to do this, I know it will be with a new appreciation of myself and in a very different way than I used to exercise in the past. Thank you for sharing.
Beautifully said Angela. Thank you.
Thank you Gyl. Yes I have been feeling very sluggish internally recently and have been feeling for some time that doing some exercise will support my body to be more vital and open from within. I too used to exercise very hard, putting my body through rigorous training and then going the other way and barely doing any for the last ten years. However I type this on the way home from the gym. I’ve only started this week and have been twice, not staying long, 10-15 minutes but it’s amazing how toned and connected to my body I feel. I have enjoyed feeling the softness of my skin and the flow in my hips. I actually feel sexy and am enjoying being in my own skin. I’m really looking forward to going more and somehow it supports the Joy in my heart to open up. I certainly recommend it. It’s also amazing how our bodies just know what exercise it needs on any particular day or in any particular moment. It was only because another student of Universal Medicine suggested exercise to me that I gave it a go. I’m so glad she did.
I completely agree Shevon. There is a definitely an uplifting in the heart when doing exercise gently and lovingly.
Thank you for sharing Shevon, very beautiful expression and so true, I too feel that joy. And yes it doesn’t have to be for long our bodies know exactly what they need.
This has been my experience too Shevon, I connect to so much joy in me! I never thought exercising could do that. And as you’ve shared our body knows what it needs, our body is very wise.
It is amazing Shevon how even a little exercise , it doesn’t need to be long, thats another myth to bust, can change and support the way feel and our body.
This is an awesome sharing Shevon as it breaks down any rules on how long we may think we need to be exercising for. Fifteen minutes done with connection and presence is very powerful.
Thank you Gyl for sharing your experience with the gym and exercise. This has really helped me see it in a new light. I’ve had an on off relationship over the years with the gym, not really enjoying the environment or the effort of ‘keeping fit’. I’m feeling now that my body would really appreciate some loving exercise and it would be a great way to connect at a deeper level and re-imprint my relationship with the gym.
Thanks Gyl. I am getting back into exercising and finding it a huge support to be more with myself, more focused and out of my head and into my body. And I am doing it how I feel and that feels great.
Thank you for sharing this Gyl. Great timing as I too am in the process of refining my exercise to be truly supportive of me and my way of living rather than something outside of me. I am very aware of how it is possible to become ‘drawn in’ by outside factors and affected by a drive to achieve something. Your blog simply and beautifully shows how simple it can be if you listen to how your body feels when choosing how to exercise. Thank you.
Hi Gyl, I love what you shared here! I can very much relate, for a long time I did not exercise at all because I did not like the sports industry with the competition and the ‘it always needs to better or more’ push. Now I am also rediscovering exercising and like you said it was how I did exercise before that made me not like exercising. Now I exercise present with me and it is a lot of fun and feels great in my body. It also supports me to feeling my body during the day and not being in my head all the time. Thanks for sharing.
Lieke I totally agree that it really does support you to stay with your body and not get caught up in things – making them as your focus. It is really enjoyable doing exercise in this way.
I agree too, exercise brings so much awareness to me of what is going on in my body and how I am feeling on a daily basis.
I agree Meg and often its a marker of how much is needed to support me in the day. In some cases I feel to do more cardio and others days being more supportive with weights. Exercise brings us a deep awareness that allows us to feel what is needed and how this can vary from one session to the next.
I agree, Jane. Exercise is a great opportunity to check in and feel how we have treated our body over the past 24 hours, and can help release tension, bring us back into connection and out of our minds.
I find that too Jane, when I start my execise I first check in with my body. How it is feeling and if there is any tension. Then I feel my beauty inside and when I exercise I feel this expresses through my body and releases the tension I felt at first. Which is so simple but a great way to shift any mood or tension I might be in.
I have never done exercise in a gym to check-in with my body. That seems like a real shame, so much lost opportunity.
Gyl, thank you for writing this, it is very inspiring and has reminded me about how exercise can support connecting to our bodies.
It’s quite easy to forget how exercise can support our bodies. I haven’t managed to get myself into the routine of gentle exercise and sticking to it. I have started and stopped. Something I need to start bringing back into my day. When I was doing gentle exercise I use to feel great,