For most of my life I have been an emotional wreck, tossed around on a roller-coaster of highs and lows – one moment in the height of ecstasy, the next deep in the dark dungeon of despair – and it was within one of these lows that I found myself in April 2014. Benson, my ex’s dog whom I saw daily, often staying with me, suddenly collapsed and died.
The Passing of Benson and Realising the Mortality of Henry
I sobbed all the way home from the vets and the next week I had to take days off work; I couldn’t hold back my tears. I started getting angry with myself. I had throbbing headaches, my sinuses were screaming at me and my contact lenses were so cloudy with tears I couldn’t see properly.
I looked at my dog Henry and the realisation dawned that I could not possibly continue like this. If I were THIS badly affected over Benson’s death, how on earth would I cope with Henry’s?
At this point I turned to Universal Medicine practitioners for support and guidance because I was frightened by my coping mechanisms. I realised that these had been left unchecked and had become enormously destructive.
I had read the majority of books by Serge Benhayon and welcomed his frankness about life: there is a hard-hitting truth in all that he writes, and it really does make sense! It was refreshing to read something that was not pandering to my emotional state of mind – instead I was receiving the reality of truth – and it felt right.
Henry was my loyal and willing companion, the only being at the time whom I felt to have shown me unconditional love. It’s true to say that in him I had invested my love, my hopes and dreams, and so later that April I felt my future shattered when Henry’s mortality was suddenly realised!
We went to the vet because of a limp, the vet surmising that Henry had cancer in his shoulder that was impeding his movement: I was offered the choice of amputation or euthanasia. Stricken with fear I immediately reacted with amputation – I could not lose him!
And so we were dispatched to a larger practice with an MRI scanner for an accurate diagnosis by an orthopedic surgeon the following morning. She commented later that Henry’s eyes never left me, admiring the bond between us. I had never noticed, just taken us for granted!
That evening Henry’s own vet gently advised that given Henry’s age, his previous surgery and general arthritic condition, Henry’s movement on three legs would be very restricted. There was no doubt that he would survive the operation; in all other manners Henry was incredibly fit and healthy, but now we were looking at life quality.
The flat-coated retriever is known for its exuberance for life, its mischief, and for its love of everyone. Indeed, sharing your life with one is generally accepted as a 24/7 intense relationship!
Assistance is always forthcoming whether searching through cupboards, tying shoelaces or gardening. Gone would be Henry’s reversing skills as he cleverly extricated himself from tight situations; launching onto the sofa, sending cushions flying, charging up and down the stairs, leaping onto my bed and making a nest in my duvet and diving into his basket to retrieve one of his teddy bears.
Letting Go of Attachment and Need
That night I sobbed, and between sobs I realised that I was in a victim vortex that was spinning out of control. I desperately tried to regain some level of composure, to breathe gently, but initially my emotions fought back. As my body began to relax as I surrendered to its shudders I heard the words, palliative care, palliative care. I never listened; they were meaningless words, and cold comfort back then.
Now I understand and I appreciate and recognise the solace that was being offered to me that long and difficult night as the orthopaedic surgeon’s words of palliative care and a regime of pain therapy rang little bells of celebration in my head when I returned to discuss Henry’s diagnosis.
As I settled into a life of administering Henry’s drug therapy, I saw and continued to see and work with esoteric practitioners about my own state of being. In the beginning it was a wrench leaving him for a day as I travelled down to Oxford to see my practitioner, because I wanted to share every day with him. Every moment with Henry was so precious to me at the time, like a clinging child not wanting to leave its mother.
Through the sessions with my practitioner I realised that there was no me in our relationship; that I had delegated my life to Henry and so over time and by my own observations I began to understand my need to have Henry bolstering my life because of my own emptiness.
I had invested so much in this that I was emotionally attached, dependent on Henry utterly. And so, with my esoteric practitioner’s support I was able to work on letting go of this attachment, this need, and to focus on re-building me.
I realised that my own emptiness came from depending on another to provide me with the love I was otherwise not giving to myself. With this, I began to notice that the more loving choices I made for myself and the more I focussed on my relationship with myself, the more Henry relaxed into his relationship with me and our new life.
Learning to change my life in this way was not always easy, however the commitment was all mine – and learning that the way in which I did things would make a huge difference to the outcome was a massive responsibility.
There was no quick-fix and it was sometimes challenging, but I began seeing some rewards, often just tiny ones, and with the support of Serge Benhayon and my esoteric practitioner I was able to enjoy the remainder of my life together with Henry.
Learning to be Utterly Truthful with Myself
I started not looking around for Henry when I realised that he had been silent for what I felt was too long. I would trust that he was sleeping peacefully.
I began to see my car as mine rather than Henry’s. I started returning home to me rather than to Henry, and I started to make evening plans so that Henry became more my companion rather than my constant and only companion.
I began to realise that there would be a life post-Henry for me.
To begin with it was very hard as I realised how much I needed him to protect me from those things that I didn’t want to do. Staying in with Henry gave me excuses to not venture out as a single person into a seemingly brand new and rather frightening world!
My hardest challenge though, was to learn to be utterly truthful with myself.
In the past I would con myself that things weren’t that bad! Now, I had to be very alert and acknowledge when Henry showed any sign of pain rather than pretend he was okay, because I was still frightened of losing him.
On the surface it seemed so easy to just register that he was in pain and liaise with the vets, but fear would often strike me and my insides would start to writhe with my own anxiety.
And so it was my sense of duty that ruled, forcing me to make the call: but as our routine became easier and as I worked on continuing to make more loving choices for myself, I relaxed, feeling freer to make the call out of love, rather than fear of loss.
And for those remaining months we shared a deeper quality of life.
Henry climbed up the stairs and manoeuvred his forelegs onto my bed so that I could gather his back legs and lift him up and then he would rearrange his blanket where he slept. We had the same arrangement with the car and sofa, but he always managed to climb the stairs on his own.
I admired his resilience and determination, and watching Henry over those last few months I realised that the bond that the surgeon had originally witnessed was one borne of a true love and not the emotional one that had kept us enslaved.
Looking back, Henry had always trusted me. He seemed to know when I was making him feel more comfortable, or even making him better.
A Truer Connection – Love Born of Mutual Trust
That dreadful day when I realised that Henry was in so much pain with his shoulder that he could not climb down the stairs, he waited until I returned with his harness. He worked with me, so together we managed to climb down. From then on he would always wait for me to walk down with him, sometimes wanting me to slip my fingers through his collar first.
We both knew that we could do these things together, and without realising at the time that we now shared a love born of mutual trust. We had set each other free from our emotional entanglement.
Looking back over our last few months when I watched Henry sleeping, when I told him I loved him as I stroked his chest, or even when his excitement grew as his suppertime neared, I felt that lovely warm, comforting glow from my inner heart and not that rush of wringing emotion lower down.
We shared a truer connection; and while we had for many years trusted and loved each other, I feel that we had begun to give each other more space. Importantly, we allowed each other to be our own being, respecting our choices.
We had both matured in our love and found an innate security and comfort within. Our neediness had faded – we had realised that our lives were our own journeys and not intertwined.
We shared a relaxing few weeks together that December: I read, corresponded with Serge Benhayon and my friends or listened to my audios from the Esoteric Medicine series with Henry either lying on the sofa beside me, or sprawled out on his sheepskin rug in front of our open fire. I began to feel a slightly better level of being as the days passed, but then one day I realised that Henry wasn’t quite himself.
His painkillers had increased until his cheeky smile and general zest for life faded: his heart, the biggest most generous and courageous heart I have ever known, grew too tired of life.
A few days later Henry passed over on 6 January 2015, having developed what was suspected to have been another tumor.
A few nights before I lovingly said goodbye to my best friend, after we had enjoyed a wonderfully, peaceful day together during which I held my loving connection to my being and was relaxing in bed, I realised how peacefully Henry was lying across my body, totally relaxed and at one with me; sharing our joy, love, trust and truth. I felt that he too was connected to his own inner-self and I smiled, knowing that he was preparing his body for death; a body that had given its all, but which was now ready to surrender.
With the continued love and support from the many beauty-full people whom I have met over the last few years through Universal Medicine and the unbelievable joy at my first workshops when I rediscovered for the first time in a very long while the true beauty-full me, I know that deep within is all the love in the world – just waiting for me!
By Maggie, Chorley, England
Further Reading:
True Relationships – Being Love First, not Demanding it from Others
Love and Relationship Audio
National dog day – August 26 2105
450 Comments
” the unbelievable joy at my first workshops when I rediscovered for the first time in a very long while the true beauty-full me, I know that deep within is all the love in the world – just waiting for me!” Magic.
The gift of life should be cherished until our last breath and when anything distracts us from our essences / Souls (“deep within”) then “know that deep within is all the love in the world – just waiting for me!” so we can evolve and respond to life without its distractions.
Animals have a great way of reflecting back to us where we are at and what our energy is really saying. Humans are far more sneaky in showing their feelings.
Hi Maggie, I came looking for your blog again today as one of my pets suddenly died yesterday, it was unexpected and new situation for me. It’s highlighted how much emotional reaction I have still because of my attachments, and that there is more love to be lived in my own life allowing my animal companions more space to make their own choices and to be partners in evolution, but not there solely for me. I can feel from my recent experience that there is more for me to heal and let go of to make way for love. Thank you again.
Hi Melinda, thank you for your appreciation. ❤️
This is the reason why I have chosen to not have another dog yet, because a small part of me would want it to be my companion again. Any new puppy needs to be allowed to grow into a dog and behave like a dog.
I saw this play out recently with our pet ram who we rescued from the butcher’s knife when he was just 10 months or so of age.
Due to circumstances beyond our control he ended up living on his own in our field pending us finding an alternative solution for him. Because I “bucket trained” him at the gate (fed him additional lamb nuts), he became very tame and affectionate, which of course I was more than happy to return.
As he trotted along the fence (in his field) following me as I walked or drove down our driveway; looking out for my return; or even trying to catch my eye if I was in the garden somewhere, I realised that he was metaphorically speaking, turning into a dog.
On realising this, we had him castrated and bought him two ewes to give him his own little flock and to keep him company!
The transformation is remarkable.
All 3 are affectionate and enjoy cuddles and attention, but they’re also sheep who just get on with what sheep do best!
There are no lingering looks in my direction; if they don’t catch my eye, it’s heads-down and on with feeding!
I am getting there and so will you Melinda ❤️
Thank you Maggie, I came looking for your blog today to support me as I have a critically ill pet. I knew I felt emotional which I understand completely, but also that there was a possibility of making steps deeper into love within this all and letting go of attachments. Everything you have shared has been like a warm hug and provided very loving support for me as I make my way through the accepting and letting go process today.
Dearest Melinda, the title of my blog was never altered, other than honouring Henry’s memory by adding his name,, but at the time I didn’t quite appreciate the depth and quality of friendship we shared.
I have grown to appreciate the depth of unconditional love a dog can show us; and in that Henry was my most loving, constantly supportive teacher and in many ways, parent; and I often find myself remembering him when I need a gentle reminder on being more supportive in difficult situations and how I can be unconditional love.
After 45 years Henry found me again.
We first met when I was a toddler and he was a chained-up guard dog. My mum was talking to his owner and I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. The two adults were struck by fear when they saw us together, but we were enjoying our friendship and sharing our love. We were safe and secure.
This is beautiful; ‘I know that deep within is all the love in the world – just waiting for me!’
Reading this I can feel that being attached and not leading our own lives and not putting ourselves first is not supportive for us or those we are in relationship with. I have found that my son has enjoyed being able to make his own decisions and me letting go of being so attached and making life all about him. It feels like there is more freedom, space and joy for both of us without the attachment.
Maggie, this is really beautiful and inspiring to read; ‘We had both matured in our love and found an innate security and comfort within. Our neediness had faded – we had realised that our lives were our own journeys and not intertwined.’
“in him I had invested my love, my hopes and dreams” when we have an investment we have an attachment to an outcome or a dividend but when we share the love of who we are we offer each other the space to deepen our love for ourselves and others.
This was a very touching story Maggie, and to be honest I never thought someone could develop a true love for themselves and others via their relationship with a dog, but you have shown here that it is certainly something to appreciate. I love how when you let go of that neediness with Henry and started living in greater love for yourself, honouring who you are, that your relationship with him became one of mutual support to grow together.
Relationships that are free of that emotional twisting and churning up inside us and that neediness are very beautiful.
It’s so beautiful how our relationships can deepen and grow when we let go of any neediness, when we become responsible for our emotions and when begin to love and cherish ourselves.
It is so simple when we do not hold onto another’s life as we have conducted our self in such a way that we are feeling complete with every thing that is needed to be said so when whom or what ever has passed-over we can feel that the completion we have had means that we can move on. The same can be said for us completing every day with the understanding that everything that needed to be expressed was so. And then when winding down at the end of the day we feel complete and can completely surrender to a great night of rest-full sleep.
Reading your comment this evening Greg is a very timely reminder. Thank you x
You so powerfully expose the destructive nature of emotional enmeshment that leaves no space for true love. I can’t read your journey without crying but it is also inspiring to feel how your relationship reached a deeper level as you committed to loving yourself and released Henry from that responsibility.
I remember our last weeks together. I was listening to the Living Sutras of the Hierarchy most of the time and enjoying sharing each other’s company… I felt to walk over to him as he was sitting upright looking at me, knelt in front of him and placed my palm on his brisket (breast bone) and told him gently that he also had an inner heart and soul just like me and as I looked up his eyes were so very intense, but gentle. There was a knowing, an understanding. As we held each other’s gaze I realised we shared a very deep connection. It was a beautiful sharing between the two of us.
Loved reading your story again Maggie, especially your last line, ” when I rediscovered for the first time in a very long while the true beauty-full me, I know that deep within is all the love in the world – just waiting for me! ” such a beautiful and powerful rediscovery.
We can have very needy relationships with our pets, needing something to love and be loved by that is safe and won’t hurt us. But I can see how this stunts our dogs and asks them to take on a role that is not theirs to take.
Absolutely Fiona; I saw how much more relaxed Henry became when I stopped my fussing and looking around for him. Basically learning to ignore him and allowing him the space, or freedom, to live his own life. It was a gift which I was able to offer Henry; and the change I saw in him was remarkable.
Beautiful to re read your blog today how you made the choice to step out of the entanglement of emotional love and need and re discovered true love and an amazing healing for you and your dog in the last months of his life.
I love your ending line – that everything you could ever need in the world is already within you, just waiting for you – what an amazing opportunity we have everyday to discover these riches.
We can learn a lot from our dogs when they are seriously ill, the level of surrender they go into is inspirational for us all to experience and I very much appreciate and cherish this in the last hours we have today with our dog, the amazing service she has done is complete and she goes on and so are we. I read your blog with such a smile on my face Maggie, our dogs can be our friends and teachers at the same time.
Absolutely Annelies, they are beautiful souls, just like us; and if we so chose, they really do help and guide us.
When we let go of the neediness true love can blossom.
Yes it can Mary; though it was with the love and support of Shirley-Ann and Judy that I was eventually able to loosen my neediness. I witnessed the freeing of both of us and it was the sweetest, best experience of my life. Of course, just because I had reached one level of needlessness didn’t mean that from then it was plain sailing; every tiny win, every facet of me that I claim back for me is a deepening; an unpeeling of tougher protection to reveal greater hurts.
There is nothing like reading a story about love. It reminds me of moments of love I have shared. It’s revealing to note when the love becomes a picture and now a self-created investment fed by need and not the moment. If you’ve left the moment of not confirming your love that you are it can quickly become a picture. It’s also worth noting Maggie the difference in feeling your writing when you were writing about love and the emotional need.
It has been a while since I last read this blog yet it holds a timelessness in its quality of sharing a true love story. From emotional love to true love, beautifully written Maggie as you unfold your understanding of what love is and what it is not! Thank you and thank you Henry.
Our relationship with self is so important, to love and care for ourself, rather than seek love, recognition etcetera, from the outside, ‘I realised that my own emptiness came from depending on another to provide me with the love I was otherwise not giving to myself.’
It was interesting to read this as I didn’t realise how much people can have a relationship with animals, as you describe, to avoid relating with others. I had never had much of an understanding of this so it gave me an insight into why people become so focused on their pets.
How beautiful it is when we allow the space to be just as we are and then share that love with others, even our furry companions. Simply gold thank you Maggie.
This is a great example of how we can use our pets to fill the emptiness inside of us and how distraught we can be when they pass over.
Our animals can often reflect to us that which are not yet open to feeling within our connections to ourselves and each other
The attachment and conditions we place on emotional love keeps us basically in the dark from the infinite wisdom and lightness of true love.
Maggie thank you for sharing this story, its my second read and I have found it to be so very supportive. Animals support human beings in so many ways, but there comes that time when we realise the dependency is harmful for both sides and that there is that greater love to be lived, which both animal and human benefit from. Thanks for sharing in such detail, it’s a beautiful read
Magic happens when we don’t use our dogs to fill the emptiness inside but support them to be who they are while we deeply care for, love and honour ourselves.
“I realised that my own emptiness came from depending on another to provide me with the love I was otherwise not giving to myself.” Such a profound realisation Maggie. it is so important to fill ourselves with loving and caring for ourself first. Then we have more love for others – and also less neediness and attachment.
” I know that deep within is all the love in the world – just waiting for me! ” this is so true and true for every human on this planet , the challenge is to come to this realisation of truth. And as beautifully expressed by you Maggie this is done by letting go of whats not true and letting go of what does not support love in your heart.
Emotional entanglement can come with anything or anyone, food, pets, family we can get lost in the what is not only to find we have been stagnating. To truly evolve we must free ourselves from these attachments and see them for the needs they are.
Yes, that’s the crux of the huge issue Samantha: ‘seeing them for the needs they are’. I have also had emotional entanglements to cars and items that I have saved up for… I realise now that it’s all part of my creating my own creation; and whilst I can now part with some things, I am not wholefully there yet. Realising is one thing, completely surrendering and letting go is a deeper level that I have not yet reached. But I am going there.
I can relate to having an emotionally needy relationship with dogs, as this was the role modeI I grew up with. As I was reading this story, I realised how I had gravitated to my dog as a child to have that steady, unconditional love that I knew was how it was supposed to be, but was not seeing in my home. However I wasn’t being unconditional myself! It was lovely to read the reclaiming of a true friendship and love between you
A beautiful sharing and expression of developing true love for yourself with the intricate loving journey with your very special companion your dog and the love you deepened in both your lives forever.
I love the stillness that your blog emanates after this whole relationship with your dog in which you have experienced such a lot of feelings. Unconditional love and appreciation for what has been lived is what your experience offers to me in the end of all.
A beautiful journey you have been on Maggie, and amazing to see your openness to step outside of the situation and view it from a clear point of view.
It is beautiful to feel how your relationship with Henry expanded as you let go of the neediness that had kept you both so emotionally intertwined. Dogs are such loving reflections from whom we can learn so much about how to be in relationship and allow the other the space to be themselves. Thank you for sharing the joy that is available to us all when we let got of emotional neediness and embrace true love.
My dog sits at my feet, in fact on my feet and I can feel so much in this blog of your relationship with Henry Maggie. I have to watch sometimes, when I feel misunderstood by someone in my house, that I don’t immediately run to my dog to soothE me!
A very beautiful sharing Maggie with powerful lessons about attachment, letting go, entanglement and the true love that is shared when emotions are not involved.
Phew … what a journey! How deeply emotional entanglements can run within us, and how amazing it is to allow and choose to heal ourselves.
What an absolutely beautiful blog to read Maggie, thank you; I loved and resonated with what you expressed here;
”We had set each other free from our emotional entanglement.” What a blessing for you both.
Thank you Maggie for a deeply beautiful and powerful blog, so much you were able to learn and change with the love given to you from Henry and the love you learnt to give to yourself, dogs are there to reflect to us unconditional love, and when you were able to clear away the emotional love, you were able to bring unconditional love to Henry, what a loving service you have given to Henry (and him to you) for his next life.
Yes Shirley-Ann, I agree! With Henry I had a partner who offered me unconditional love which helped me to reciprocate; now I am the one offering what at the moment is inconsistent unconditional love. It is there in between judgement, comparison and expectation.
Yes Kev, I was ‘there’ with Henry; and I remember how upset I was about leaving him for a whole day when seeing my practitioner for the first time. Somehow, leaving him when I went to work was okay, but leaving him behind on a day off was hard. Judy taught me that Henry was walking his own path and that what happened in his life was separate to what happened in mine; and slowly I was able to disentangle us. I could feel us both relax more each day. Not long before he died I was ruffling his chest fur as he was sat upright on the floor and my hand felt his heart-centre where I held it gently for a while, barely rotating my palm anticlockwise and softly told him that he had an inner heart just like me and that he also had a beautiful soul just like me. I looked up into his eyes and saw complete understanding and acceptance. It was the most beautiful sharing and confirmation of the new bond that we had forged between us.
After Benson’s passing I was really frightened of Henry’s, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to cope, but in drawing back from him in an emotional way I was able to recognise his gift of unconditional love to me that I was able to bring into our relationship which freed us both.
I can really get this Maggie as I have an incredible bond with my dog Rox and seriously don’t look forward to the day we part. Rox was there when I stopped the drinking and the partying and my friends at the time quickly fell away, in fact Rox is always there, but we do have to be careful the bond is a healthy one and that we aren’t too co-dependant.
Dogs are wonderful teachers, so accepting of us, loving us just the way we are. Faithful and true champions of unconditional love.
For us to be able to bestow this on our own dogs is the greatest gift, Kev. ❤️🐶❤️
I’ve often thought about having another dog after our family dog passed away many years ago and was with me for the first 22 years of my life. But it is a huge commitment no different to any other one on one relationship, we can learn so much from these relationships be them with a dog or a partner or a child. But what can be quiet obvious in the case of animals is that when we put that relationship into our lives based on emotional needs the quality between human and animal can be compromised and not from true love where each can be themselves without need of the other but enjoying being with one another. At the moment I don’t feel that getting a dog in my current situation would be true love but that doesn’t mean I am lesser without a dog in my life as the relationships that are in my life equally provide challenges, connections and much joy.
I look forward to sharing my life with another dog Leigh. Henry’s greatest gift to me was my recognition and understanding of unconditional love. After many years of distress I was able to reciprocate his unconditional love for me which freed us both from our emotional entanglement. Right now I am practising what I have learned with my partner and whilst I would love to have another dog, we are not yet ready.
Beautiful sharing of true friendship, that which offers another the opportunity to evolve and connect to their inner heart where there is no emptiness or need for another to fill it just simply the fullness of who we are.
How beautiful is honesty, and when we allow the surrender to honesty to play out in our lives, we give space to love to truly endure and that is the key to move forth. Thank you Maggie I love your sharing.
I never tire of reading this, as it reminds me of a family dog we had for many years, who we rescued from the streets of Alabama and brought back to the UK. Over the years she started to trust us and the relationship changed where she became very settled in herself without us imposing our emotions onto her or expecting anything from her. All I would have to do is think about going for a walk and she could feel it and would run over to me all excited, then I would have to follow through.
Reading your blog makes me realize that when there is love present we can deal with anything that life presents to us.
Thank you for sharing this Maggie. When we invest our emotions in any relationship we live in the fear of losing it instead of the joy of the love we share.
Mary, you’ve nailed this; thank you ❤
Yes, so true and we hide in relationships with dogs because they just love us SO much! No judgement, no answering back!
For so many people their pets are their sole connection to the part of them that knows and recognizes love… There is so much healing that is needed in humanity so that we recognize the true depth of the love that is within and around us always and eternally.
Milo and Otis are my three year old Kelpies, they have transformed from anxious and traumatised rescue center dogs to trusting, loving bundles of joy. It’s interesting to observe the changes in them and the relationship we are building. There is no dependency, they are quite settled within themselves and I appreciate the ongoing reflection of healing they have come through and the unconditional love they reflect continually.
I loved reading your blog Maggie, it is evident just how much you loved Henry. What a wonderful awareness when you realised you did not afford yourself the same love; what an amazing learning.
I love having a dog in the house because it is like having nature living in my home which is very special and I find that this helps to keep things in perspective when times can get a bit intense between us as a family.
I agree totally Shami; and right now I am appreciating just what a great teacher Henry was! I realise now that no matter what I did, Henry always loved me and that no matter what he did, I just smiled – really warmly and cleared up the mess! They are masters of unconditional love and he’s now helping me on a daily basis <3
As you say in this blog Maggie “deep with us all is all the love in the world just waiting for us” all we have to do is connect with ourselves and trust enough to share the love we all naturally are.
A beautiful story of the bond your shared and the true healing that took place when you chose to make the relationship about love and not need… and as a result have found a deeper connection with yourself and your own beauty. Gorgeous.
This is such a deeply beautiful sharing. True love is the medicine to life
Letting go of attachment and need; these words of yours Maggie ring in my ears as I reflect on my relationship with my dog. Certainly building a deep connection with myself is the key to letting go of any attachments I have, with the dog, anyone or anything. Thank you for sharing your gorgeous and inspirational story.
This exposes how the majority of humanity are seeking love from the outside and this will never fill up the emptiness within. Developing a deeper relationship with oneself first is primary to enjoying true relationships with others. Only when we are filled from within with the glory of who we are, there are no pockets of emptiness needing relief from others. The Ancient Wisdom Teachings presented by Serge Benhayon have shown me how true this is.
“I realised that my own emptiness came from depending on another to provide me with the love I was otherwise not giving to myself”.
Thank you Maggie for sharing the beauty of true love unfolding and maturing with your dog Henry.
Hey Maggie, it’s so great you were able to unravel your attachment and give yourself the love and care you deserve. When we do that, there is plenty left over for others.
The unfoldment you describe is really inspirational.
We all have attachments and needs we have invested in, in our lives, whether that is pets, partners, kids, family, work, hobbies and the like. How we are and our relationship with ourselves plays a major role in how we invest and to what degree. When we begin to build a deep connection with ourselves, these investments have an opportunity to not have such a strong hold on parts of our lives.
Just been revisiting our beautiful blog Maggie, and it is really awesome what you have learnt here and been able to put into practice. What a gift for you and Henry and all others, who will read your intimate sharing; thank you.
I have been aware for some time how dogs are sometimes used by their owners to project something about the owner to the world around them. It feels exactly the same as a person who might buy a particular car or wear a particular watch, what it is saying is ‘I do not feel whole and complete as I am and so by placing emphasis on things, I, myself feel more complete’.
Imagine if we as a race dedicated the care and attention we show to our pets to ourselves. What if instead of focusing on an animal that follows us everywhere we go, we connected to appreciation, of ourselves? What if this self-loving soulful way became our new faithful companion, ever trustingly by our side? Then as you beautifully show Maggie, its like as the emptiness gradually passes away, our body and life can naturally flow and trust and true understanding emerges.
A really honest blog with how you were feeling. A lot of people invest in their pets, especially dogs emotionally and as you have shared this is harming for both the owner and dog. With true love there is not an ounce of emotion but there is tenderness and care. What you have said about Serge Benhayon’s purple books is spot on ‘It was refreshing to read something that was not pandering to my emotional state of mind – instead I was receiving the reality of truth – and it felt right.’
What a gorgeous learning Henry offered, very beautiful.
It’s clear how much you loved Henry from your writing. And how important it was for you to have this experience – we cannot rely on anyone, animal or human, for love as we must love ourselves first.
When we first got our dog, I had no idea of the level of responsibility for this being of nature that was required, because he has so much to learn about being a member of the group, but in showing him the boundaries of life I have been able to learn about them too. Ours has turned in to a mutual relationship of trust and evolution and as such is a very special gift.
There is something about the connection we can have with dogs that is just so gorgeous. They represent an openness and a love that is a possible way for all of us to be. We can feel it and so we respond in kind. What a wonderful model for what is also possible in relationships between humans.
Having a dog is a truly wonderful experience. My initial reason for having a dog was from need but over time I did learn a lot and something I learnt was that we can bring enormous healing and an opportunity for evolution to them when we let go of the neediness and deal with our own hurts that are undealt with, fuelling the neediness towards a dog.
I’m on holiday at the moment and I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss my dog. She normally goes everywhere with me and we have a very close bond. I know it must have been a tough old journey in the end with Henry but it looks like he was here to teach you some really important stuff.
Yes Kevin, it was hard for me detaching myself from my own entanglement with Henry, but seeing him relax more as he found more freedom was rewarding, but also inspiring! He is inspiring me still and I am very grateful to Shirley Ann and Judy for the support they offered me in the early days.
I too would be lying if I said that I don’t miss Henry: he has been a huge part of my life ; he has contributed so much to my own freedom to love honestly. We accomplished a lot between us during our last few weeks together; and for that I hold much appreciation and love ❤
“I know that deep within is all the love in the world – just waiting for me!” What a difference this makes. Without this awareness of course we are going to be needy of love from anything or anyone else. As long as we look outside of ourselves for love we remain needy. To connect to our love deep within and then to share it is totally different and totally amazing.
Great to hear that you set each other free from the emotional entanglement. Need always feels horrible from whatever angle, ‘I realised that my own emptiness came from depending on another to provide me with the love I was otherwise not giving to myself’.
It is inspiring to read how the honesty with yourself brought a healing for you and your dog and then possibly rippling out further to others in writing this blog – thank you Maggie.
Maggie- thank you for sharing honestly and openly about your deep attachment to your dog, coming from a need, and highlighting a lack of connection with self. How awesome, with the help of esoteric practitioners, you were able to change the relationship with you dog to be a more supportive one, and deepen your relationship with yourself.
I can really relate to your blog Maggie, but my need for love came from a Burmese cat that I had for 18 and a half years. I too realized the reason I bought her, which I claimed was for my children but it was for my own need for love having recently had a long term relationship split. Then a couple of years before she passed, I realized my need for that love and was able to let go of that emotional attachment. So when she was ready to pass, I was totally fine with it all. And since then I don’t have that same pull towards cats that I had before.
Thank you Maggie for being so open about your attachment to your dog – this is a subject which I am sure many vets are more than familiar with. Having grown up with many dogs and my parents continued to own a dog until they died it has also been my observation to see the same attachment with my own mother, and how difficult it was for her to let go.
Your ability to let go of your need to have Henry in your life is inspiring Maggie and one that many could learn from. Having a family pet is exactly like having another member of the family, and losing them can be a difficult process, but when we are able to let go of any attachment to them, it makes their passing a whole lot easier. Thankyou for sharing your experience.
What a beautiful sharing, I am sure there are elements in all of us who have placed need or expectation onto another, an animal or situation. We all have played the victim role at some point in life. The fact that you sought help and began to get really honest with yourself is truly fantastic.