Before learning how to celebrate me, the way I had learnt to celebrate birthdays was by getting wasted.
My 30th birthday celebration – joints, coffee, drinking and getting wasted
From early in the morning, joints are passed around. Then copious amounts of coffee, then more joints. This continues for most of the day, with a bit of drama and a bit of ‘trying to be nice’ to each other.
By the late afternoon we are drinking as well. There are children everywhere, as well as bottles and ashtrays. Before dinner is anywhere near ready I find myself at the bathroom sink splashing water across my face.
I look into the mirror. I see a white face, but that is all I allow myself to see. I don’t want to look too closely as I don’t like to truly see my reflection when I am wasted.
I have the shakes, the sweats, and feel like I may be sick. I try to breathe through it and slowly find my way back downstairs to the couch. I have a little rest until I am ready to continue on to have another drink, to help prepare the food, and to smoke another joint.
By the end of the night the house looks like a dump and everyone is wrecked. This is what getting wasted looks like…
It feels like a lifetime away yet it was only a few years ago. And this is what I ‘used’ to call a ‘successful’ party.
My 34th birthday celebration – No joints, No alcohol, No getting wasted, No drama
This year, I decided to celebrate me instead and thought about what I would like to do for me.
What I really wanted was to go out to the local Thai restaurant. So I sent a text, letting friends know that I was going and that if they felt like joining me, they could. I had no expectation of anyone to come; I just knew that I was going.
I will set the scene at the restaurant for you. The table was decorated and candles lit. A few friends arrived bringing gifts – beautiful candles, a plant and a bouquet of greens from one friend’s garden. There were 4 kids at one end of the table, then 9 adults.
It was wonderful.
There was…
- No alcohol
- No joints or drugs
- No loudness
- No one needing to be the centre of attention, and
- No drama.
There was no one getting wasted, just …
- Delicious food
- Honest, open discussions, and
- People sharing and connecting.
I went to the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror. For the first time I was happy looking at me; I could admire my own beauty.
This was the best birthday I had ever had. I felt at ease and so joyful. We didn’t have a late night; there was no need to. I didn’t have a hangover the next day and it was awesome.
Celebrating Me
I can see now that the party I had when I was 30 was about my trying to please others. It was ‘normal’ – socially acceptable in the way parties are these days.
But this year it was really just about celebrating me. I had no expectation and no need for it to be anything and because of that, I was shown something beautiful – me.
I can celebrate where I’ve come to and the fact that I no longer want or need drugs or alcohol to get wasted and feel like I’ve partied or ‘had a good time’.
Since then, I’ve also learnt that celebrating me doesn’t mean I have to have lots of friends or wait until I go out for a special birthday dinner.
Celebrating me can be done in the most simple of ways. I can celebrate me every day, for the small things.
I have been inspired to celebrate me and to make these awesome changes in my life thanks to presentations by Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon and the support of Esoteric practitioners at Universal Medicine Clinic.
By Anonymous
898 Comments
Wow what a difference and what a transformation from trashing your body to honouring it and having a fabulous time with friends at the same time. To me there is nothing worse than drinking too much alcohol and feeling like death the next day. I can now admit that I only drank to fit in and to be seen as one of the team. Since my association with Universal Medicine by reconnecting back to me I have grown in my confidence so that I don’t have to drink alcohol to feel socially acceptable.
Drugs (caffeine, illegal drugs, abuse of legal drug, nicotine, sugar, Etc.) are a distraction that catches so many people and when we find our Essences, Inner-most / Souls we start to find True purpose in life and the elimination of all distractions and comes with huge amounts of Joy.
Funny (and at the same time sad) isn’t it that we reserve celebrating to a few select and specific occasions throughout the year. The rest of the time we’re just going through the motions. Hang on a minute when you examine the way in which most of us celebrate then you realise that that too is simply just going through the motions. Anything that we do by rote is simply just going through the motions whereas when we connect to the body and do something consciously then this brings an aliveness and a zesty quality to whatever it is that we’re doing. It also ensures that the consciousness that would have us living our lives on repeat is barred from entering.
Traditionally birthdays are a time to hammer our bodies. From a very young age we load the body up with sugary rich foods and then as we get older we introduce alcohol, drugs, staying up all night and throw in a liberal sprinkling of indiscriminate sex. Our bodies must dread our birthdays for the same reasons that most of them dread Christmas.
Today is my birthday, I am going to work and it feels very normal to do so and I look forward to it. I love what I do and what I bring to my work. Just because it’s my birthday doesn’t mean the world stops and and my birthday doesn’t have to revolve around me because I enjoy being me with others, I enjoy the relationships I have in my life and those are worth celebrating. Not just today but everyday.
WOW Love this! What a difference. I also really loved the idea that it didn’t matter who attended, there were no pictures or attachments you just went with the flow and impulse of what you wanted to do.
Who needs parties and drunken fuelled nights when you are in love with yourself? When we connect to the love inside ourselves we don’t need any substance to interfere with the natural divinity that is there within all of us.
Some of the worst times in my life have been at parties fuelled by alcohol and drugs, its so super crazy that at the time you do it for a number of reasons but all are lies and basically drag you further away from your light.
Things could not be more different now as I love just being me, no substance will ever be better then the feeling of us just in our essence.
Young and old people everyday put themselves in danger due to the drink and drugs they consume its crazy how in the western world it is considered less normal not to drink.
When we party hard it is all the ‘I’ so maybe we should call it parti or part-i as it separates us from our True essences. A true celebration is all about coming together and sharing a delicious conversation over a meal so we feel whole and not in parts.
When I was at university I disliked the social gatherings around alcohol and drugs and always much preferred conversation over tea or dinner. The trouble was I didn’t know many people who felt the same way so I was a tad isolated. It took a while to find others of like mind who did not feel uncomfortable with my preference.
A gorgeous turnaround Anon showing that change is possible. Every movement we make towards the unfolding of the beauty and love within makes a huge difference in our lives, how we relate to others and the lives of others. It is incredibly inspiring and something to deeply appreciate.
Your new way of celebrating birthdays may just catch on and offer a gift to others.
Keep on celebrating and don’t turn back I say.
‘I can celebrate me every day, for the small things.’ This is beautiful and I can feel the joy behind your words. We don’t need to wait for a big occasion to appreciate who we are, but in the everyday. Keeping in touch with appreciating ourselves is a great stabiliser for when life gets challenging… it acts as a ballast in rough weather.
Getting wasted does not have to be any special day it seems to happen regularly when we are young and I had a deep understanding it had to stop before I turned 40 and so it did. Now at 65 I feel so much vitality and alive. But it is not just the stopping that has made the difference it is how I understand that after stopping all the abusive drugs that I replaced them with other behaviours that were more kosher but I was still addicted to the empty behaviours that were causing the drug addiction in the first place. It was a different addiction but the same underlying pattern that fostered the drug use. Thank God for Serge Benhayon for cracking wide open the underlying behaviours so any one can see what was causing the addictions and thus allowing us to say no to any type of addictive behaviour at there root cause.
The underlying root problem for all of us is the fact that we aren’t living true to who we are. I have touched very briefly on the beauty of the truth of who we all are and at the same time got to feel the ugliness of who we are not and it was devastating. But the thing is we have all got so used to living in this chronically reduced way that we’re no longer consciously aware of what we’ve left behind. But we can’t scrub the memory from our bodies and that’s why deep down there is such angst inside us, angst that we try and cover up with behaviours.
We can always appreciate ourselves, any day or time we can celebrate and appreciate ourselves for who we are and what we bring, and this is very supportive for us.
Gorgeous! It is never worth judging anyone even those who like you had been are very very self-disregarding and “wasted”. These people are the more sensitive in our society and change can happen very rapidly when the love and space is offered for them to just be themselves
Anonymous, this blog is a powerful confirmation of the choices and changes you have made to your life and the huge turnaround from being wasted to living in connection with your body and essence. In appreciation and celebration of YOU – I love the raw honesty you bring to your writing that everyone can benefit from.
I stopped drinking and smoking some time ago and I love celebrating and having parties….more than I used to, and I have always liked a party, sober is much more fun, way more cool and I still crack up, dance around and have a great time with people. We do need ask ourselves why it is that we need to be wasted to have fun…is there any fun had when we are wasted? And I know some will say I do not do it very often, I only do it little bit…etc, but from my experience even one drink is enough to take the shine off…..it is not the edge we take off, we lose our shine…who wants to lose their shine…..makes no sense…we have hang ups and habits, sort out any hang ups and habits and no need to drink through a party…but instead be completely present, sober and be with every moment, so you do not miss a thing!
Interesting how we can miss so much when we are sober. Having never been a drinker we can miss so much as well when we choose to judge and critique the behaviours of others.
With downers and stimulants there is always a temptation to have more except that the body is indicating the harm it is under. An indulgence is then to ignore the body and accept the consequences because we can’t do that regularly without suffering substantial damage.
Hence a ‘celebration’ is really a way to do more of what harms us without overdoing it. Finely calibrated abuse.
Love the simplicity of this – no drama, no need to be the centre of attention, just a simple enjoyment of feeling and being you. Appreciating who we are and what we bring, and committing to build a relationship with our body where we learn to trust what we innately know and feel – these are huge but simple, moment to moment choices that can have a profound effect on how we feel about ourselves, and how we interact with others and commit to life.
I am so so glad I am out of this game, the one that says you should get wasted to have a good time, I haven’t drunk for 15 years and I have never ever felt better.