Before learning how to celebrate me, the way I had learnt to celebrate birthdays was by getting wasted.
My 30th birthday celebration – joints, coffee, drinking and getting wasted
From early in the morning, joints are passed around. Then copious amounts of coffee, then more joints. This continues for most of the day, with a bit of drama and a bit of ‘trying to be nice’ to each other.
By the late afternoon we are drinking as well. There are children everywhere, as well as bottles and ashtrays. Before dinner is anywhere near ready I find myself at the bathroom sink splashing water across my face.
I look into the mirror. I see a white face, but that is all I allow myself to see. I don’t want to look too closely as I don’t like to truly see my reflection when I am wasted.
I have the shakes, the sweats, and feel like I may be sick. I try to breathe through it and slowly find my way back downstairs to the couch. I have a little rest until I am ready to continue on to have another drink, to help prepare the food, and to smoke another joint.
By the end of the night the house looks like a dump and everyone is wrecked. This is what getting wasted looks like…
It feels like a lifetime away yet it was only a few years ago. And this is what I ‘used’ to call a ‘successful’ party.
My 34th birthday celebration – No joints, No alcohol, No getting wasted, No drama
This year, I decided to celebrate me instead and thought about what I would like to do for me.
What I really wanted was to go out to the local Thai restaurant. So I sent a text, letting friends know that I was going and that if they felt like joining me, they could. I had no expectation of anyone to come; I just knew that I was going.
I will set the scene at the restaurant for you. The table was decorated and candles lit. A few friends arrived bringing gifts – beautiful candles, a plant and a bouquet of greens from one friend’s garden. There were 4 kids at one end of the table, then 9 adults.
It was wonderful.
- No alcohol
- No joints or drugs
- No loudness
- No one needing to be the centre of attention, and
- No drama.
There was no one getting wasted, just …
- Delicious food
- Honest, open discussions, and
- People sharing and connecting.
I went to the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror. For the first time I was happy looking at me; I could admire my own beauty.
This was the best birthday I had ever had. I felt at ease and so joyful. We didn’t have a late night; there was no need to. I didn’t have a hangover the next day and it was awesome.
I can see now that the party I had when I was 30 was about my trying to please others. It was ‘normal’ – socially acceptable in the way parties are these days.
But this year it was really just about celebrating me. I had no expectation and no need for it to be anything and because of that, I was shown something beautiful – me.
I can celebrate where I’ve come to and the fact that I no longer want or need drugs or alcohol to get wasted and feel like I’ve partied or ‘had a good time’.
Since then, I’ve also learnt that celebrating me doesn’t mean I have to have lots of friends or wait until I go out for a special birthday dinner.
Celebrating me can be done in the most simple of ways. I can celebrate me every day, for the small things.
I have been inspired to celebrate me and to make these awesome changes in my life thanks to presentations by Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon and the support of Esoteric practitioners at Universal Medicine Clinic.