Ever since I was a little girl I always felt I wanted to have a brother. I often asked my Mum why we didn’t have one and wondered what it would be like.
As my sister and I were growing up I hoped that Mum would have another child and it would be a boy so that I could have both a brother and sister to hang out with.
I loved being with my sister. We would keep each other company and we got on most of the time. We had similar interests and would play with all the children in the neighborhood for hours.
Over the years my relationship with my sister developed and you could say we were like two peas in a pod. I just came to accept that I had one sister with whom I shared most of my time. We did everything together including travelling, hanging out and living with each other once we moved out of the family home.
It wasn’t until my sister met my brother-in-law that things started to change.
You could say that the carpet was pulled from under me and I was in shock that the person I loved so much in this world was now sharing her time with someone else. I went into big time reaction and experienced a sense of grief because I thought that I was losing my sister’s love.
I knew that this reaction was not okay but couldn’t seem to stop myself from slipping into a pattern of anger, frustration and resentment towards this person and how I believed he was negatively affecting my relationship with my sister.
After a year I knew that this couldn’t go on as my sister began withdrawing from me because I was building a wall of hurt that would not let her or anyone else in.
With bucket loads of crying – and noting that by building this wall of hurt I was not only getting in the way of my sister’s new relationship but also my own – I decided enough was enough and knew the change had to start now, otherwise I would continue to harm the relationship I treasured so much.
It was only with the support of the teachings of Serge Benhayon and learning about the choices I was making, did I make a decision to heal old patterns and let more love in: it was then that things started to change and slowly the cycle of judgment started to shift.
Three years later, and with a lot of understanding and letting go of false beliefs, I realised that the day my sister and brother-in-law got engaged I was actually being sent a gift. A gift I was longing for all my life and one I was persistent in asking my Mum for as a little girl.
The brother that I thought was missing in my family and I was longing to welcome in, had arrived. Someone I could hang out with, share my crazy and silly sense of humour with, hug with great love and accept with all my heart.
So nearly four years later and with the celebration of my brother-in-law’s birthday (the other day), I found it fitting to buy him a card that read “A brother like you doesn’t come along every day.” At this point I knew I had accepted with open arms that he is no longer my brother-in-law but my brother.
I now see a fun, light hearted, playful, and sensitive man who I love dearly; someone who was waiting patiently that whole time for me to let him in.
With deepest gratitude and appreciation for Serge Benhayon as it is through him that I am coming to know my true self every day and feel truly inspired to be that graceful reflection.
His inspiring work has allowed me to break down the pictures I had of who and how I should love and brought a stop to a way of living that was harming the relationships that I loved and valued.
Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine
By Anonymous
Further Reading:
Relationship games – fear of losing love
My Sister and I
A Lesson in Surrender – Be Like a Feather
552 Comments
I have what society would call an ex sister-in-law, but to me she is my sister and I love her dearly. Every year we all get together as sisters for a few days we have fun and share the happenings in our lives. She has now re married and I have gained another brother. My daughter’s best friends treat me as a mother and they are my daughters; I recently went to one of her friend’s graduation as I am very much a part of her family. To me family is not defined by blood but by how we treat one another which is with deep respect and love, this is what make a family to me.
What if our life was full of situations that allowed us to see the silver lining in every situation and thus eliminating every reaction, by opening the door to healing our ideals and beliefs about what we want things to be, now that would be Gold!
Developing relationships with another can be so important and when we appreciate the Love that can be shared then the heavens open up and we all feel the blessing.
Understanding, and letting go of our beliefs, is so important as you showed in this blog, we are then able to gain more awareness and move on.
What a great example of how destructive those pictures we carry can be, not only to ourselves, but to those close to us. They are so destructive, as they serve to block the view of life which could be possible if we were only able to let go of the expectations that come with them, and allow ourselves to surrender to what comes next; in your case, the brother you had always wanted.
Love is there in many guises and often not how we expect it … when we let go our protections and hurts, we can see more clearly the love there on offer and we allow ourselves to expand together in a new and different way.
Absolutely letting people in, True-Intimacy deepens our relationships left right and center.
Anonymous, ‘The brother that I thought was missing in my family and I was longing to welcome in, had arrived. Someone I could hang out with, share my crazy and silly sense of humour with, hug with great love and accept with all my heart.’ This is really beautiful that you treat him as your brother and are open and loving with him. It shows me that we do not need to treat our in-laws differently to our blood relations – they are still family and we can have a relationship that is equally as close and loving with them.
I struggle to use the words “in-laws” when I am referring to certain members of our family as to me it almost sets them apart when in fact, I love all the members of my family equally so. I know that many find this hard to understand as the beliefs around what a family is are deeply ingrained and very rarely challenged, but not to do so is, as far as I am concerned, causing us to miss out on the beauty, of what I have come to know, is true family.
A beautiful reflection of opening up to Brotherhood.
Anonymous, how life changing for everyone involved that you let your brother in- law in and accepted and loved him for who he is. The ripples effects of this are huge and it is very inspiring to read about letting love in and not holding people at a distance.
This is beautiful anonymous; ‘I had accepted with open arms that he is no longer my brother-in-law but my brother.’ I can feel that often we treat our in-laws with less openness and love than we do our blood-related family. It is beautiful to see our in-laws as equally worthy of our love and to know that they too can be our brothers sisters, mothers and fathers.
Breaking down pictures we may have, is so very important if we are to open up and allow others in, so often it is the pictures we have created that hold us back from our very own evolution.
I love what you are sharing anonymous, that it is a choice to let people in and to love and be loved.