• Home
  • Blog
    • Healthy Lifestyle
    • Relationships
    • Health Problems
    • Social Issues
  • Comments Policy
  • Links
  • Terms of Use
  • Subscribe to the Blog
Everyday Livingness
Dementia, Health Problems 1,327 Comments on People With Dementia – Checking Out

People With Dementia – Checking Out

By Janina Koch · On February 26, 2015

About two months ago I was invited to have some regular contact with an elderly woman who has been diagnosed with dementia and now lives in a home for elderly people with this condition.

So I went to meet her and got to know the dementia nursing home and the staff that worked there. What I observed is that many of the residents were missing a sparkle in their eyes, or appeared vague with this blank stare. Most of the residents can‘t walk anymore and they just sit all day, with very little activity. It was eye-opening for me to see people spending the last few years of their lives this way. Seeing many of these elderly residents just existing in this haze, it made me consider – there was something more.

My Own Ways of Checking Out

Seeing all these people living with dementia was confronting to me because it made me become more aware of the way I used to live – and still partly live – my own life. I started to ponder more deeply on my own ways of checking out, of going off into my head, letting my mind go anywhere, doing things without being totally present.

I regularly checked out with distractions like surfing the internet or watching TV for hours, eating, talking, thinking, escaping into my mind, internet shopping or looking for a new home. An activity like surfing the internet itself is neutral, but it was the quality I chose to do these activities in: my intention was often driven by not wanting to feel and deal with what was really going on for me and the people around me.

I could feel how long I have lived avoiding to truly feel what is going on within and around me – so I started to realise that giving up and checking out is very familiar to me. I have not been taking responsibility for how I live and I have not been wanting to feel what I was feeling.

My experience now is: the more I allow myself to feel the more aware I get, even if it’s very confronting (like feeling people with dementia), and even if I have to feel my own choosing to check out. But this way I get to know more of me. Now I have to really turn around the way I live to support myself lovingly, to feel all and to stay present with myself and with what I am doing at any given time, and not to run and numb myself when I can feel some struggle or pain.

When I allow myself to feel all, I give myself permission to also feel the love and joy that I am and that is all around me: I now finally have felt this very clearly too.

So I started doing some research and reading articles about dementia…

In Germany we have at present about 1.4 million people with dementia and they expect a rise up to 2.2 million by 2030 (1).

So What Is Going On?

Something is going horribly wrong here. There is no coincidence in the way dementia is on the rise if we truly consider the way many people live their lives.

Dementia is not only a side effect of people getting old, it is a clear reflection of a society which is choosing to check out and distract as a normal way of being. And then, after doing that for years, they are ending up not wanting to feel how disconnected they have lived and finally want to escape from life completely.

Becoming aware of all of this and being honest with myself and how I was living, I now appreciate how much I have changed my way of living. From watching TV a lot and drinking alcohol every day throughout my adult life until I was about 30 years old, to now choosing to engage in life more fully.

Now I have a different marker in my body and I can see and feel that I am not empty but that I am full of life and vitality; this gives me a constant reminder to choose to stay present.

So now I present my whole self to that elderly lady with dementia, making sure I stay mentally present, not allowing myself to react but connecting in a loving way with her.

With that I am reminded that there is a different way, and that is what I bring into that home for people with dementia….. this is much needed.

I have started to connect to other people who work with people with dementia and I have started to talk to people about dementia in general. We need to really start to ponder on what is going on here, and to start the discussion…. what has led us to this epidemic?

By Janina Koch, Cologne, Germany

Inspired by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Student Body.

(1) http://www.bmg.bund.de/pflege/demenz/zukunftswerkstatt-demenz.html

Further reading:
Dementia – is it truly a mystery?

Share

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • LinkedIn
  • More
  • Email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
Share Tweet

Janina Koch

You Might Also Like

  • Eating disorders

    The Greatest Gift and Friend in the World

  • Before & After Universal Medicine – My Bulimia Story: from Self-Worth Issues to Self-Love Eating disorders

    Before & After Universal Medicine – My Bulimia Story: from Self-Worth Issues to Self-Love

  • Fatigue/Exhaustion

    My Morning Routine: From Exhaustion to Truly Energised

1,327 Comments

  • Mary says: February 24, 2020 at 3:52 pm

    I have become much more aware of the how we lose ourselves by not wanting to see and feel what is really there to be seen and felt. I always knew about energy as a child and I shut myself down so that I thought I was getting away with not feeling and so therefore was lacking in the basic responsibility of knowing and understanding energy. This then allows the energy to control me and my thoughts. Since meeting Serge Benhayon some time ago I have been very slowly developing a trust within myself that I do understand energy and that it affects everyone and everything we do, say, think and how we move and it is not as scary as I believed it to be as a child.

    Reply
  • LE says: September 5, 2019 at 5:20 am

    Wow we really are responsible for our own health, and this article brings this home to us.

    Reply
  • sue queenborough says: August 8, 2019 at 6:37 pm

    “I started to ponder more deeply on my own ways of checking out, of going off into my head, letting my mind go anywhere, doing things without being totally present. ” Yes when I get honest about how much time I spend consciously (or not) with my mind and body aligned its quite revealing…..

    Reply
    • Mary says: May 30, 2020 at 3:22 pm

      Sue I agree it is actual quite shocking that until someone cared enough about me to say hey is it possible that you are not with yourself that I started to look at the ways I checked out and then just how much I did check out by being in my mind and living from there. I never gave a thought to what was going on in my body. It has taken a long time to come back to myself and the difference is amazing so much so that I can now feel when I have left my body because it feels so sickening to do so.

      Reply
    « 1 … 19 20 21

    Leave a reply Cancel reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    Search

    Subscribe

    Recent Posts

    • Expressing the Unexpressed
    • Has the Plague Ever Truly Left Us?
    • Food Choices, My Body and Me
    • Interparental Hatred on Separation
    • Redefining ‘Food for Thought’

    Categories

    • Health Problems (6)
      • Dementia (1)
      • Digestive Issues (1)
      • Eating disorders (3)
      • Fatigue/Exhaustion (1)
      • Migraines (1)
    • Healthy Lifestyle (91)
      • Drug Abuse (3)
      • Exercise & Sport (25)
      • Healthy diet (26)
      • Music (1)
      • Quitting alcohol (13)
      • Quitting coffee (2)
      • Quitting smoking (6)
      • Quitting Sugar (4)
      • Safe driving (2)
      • Sleep (5)
      • TV / Technology (11)
      • Weight Loss (2)
      • Work (2)
    • Relationships (148)
      • Colleagues (2)
      • Communication (11)
      • Couples (33)
      • Family (29)
      • Friendships (19)
      • Male Relationships (6)
      • Parenting (27)
      • Self-Relationship (40)
      • Sex & Making Love (6)
      • Workplace (12)
    • Social Issues (50)
      • Death & Dying (8)
      • Education (14)
      • Global Issues (8)
      • Greed/Corruption (1)
      • Money (3)
      • Pornography (1)
      • Sexism (14)
      • Tattoos & Removal (1)

    Archives

    • October 2020
    • May 2020
    • April 2020
    • February 2020
    • January 2020
    • December 2019
    • November 2019
    • August 2019
    • July 2019
    • May 2019
    • April 2019
    • February 2019
    • January 2019
    • December 2018
    • November 2018
    • October 2018
    • September 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • March 2018
    • February 2018
    • January 2018
    • November 2017
    • October 2017
    • September 2017
    • August 2017
    • July 2017
    • June 2017
    • May 2017
    • April 2017
    • March 2017
    • February 2017
    • January 2017
    • December 2016
    • November 2016
    • October 2016
    • September 2016
    • August 2016
    • July 2016
    • June 2016
    • May 2016
    • April 2016
    • March 2016
    • January 2016
    • December 2015
    • November 2015
    • October 2015
    • September 2015
    • August 2015
    • July 2015
    • June 2015
    • May 2015
    • April 2015
    • March 2015
    • February 2015
    • January 2015
    • December 2014
    • November 2014
    • October 2014
    • September 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • November 2013
    • Home
    • Blog
      • Healthy Lifestyle
      • Relationships
      • Health Problems
      • Social Issues
    • Comments Policy
    • Links
    • Terms of Use
    • Subscribe to the Blog
    loading Cancel
    Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
    Email check failed, please try again
    Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.