I cherish the opportunity Christmas brings for me to build relationships and meet more people.
The month of December can be a great month. The gradual incline towards the festive season is one that brings a great deal of excitement to many, the approaching holiday, maybe a trip away, a few big parties and sometimes lots of drinking. I’ve noticed people who usually don’t say anything or only give a passing glance, say “hello”. I’ve also noticed people who quite often just give me a nod when passing in the corridor but surprise me with a question like “what have you got planned for Christmas?” Come January, I see we often retreat and withdraw back into the ‘grind full existence’ – so what has happened?
For those interactions where we exchanged an extra smile, nod or extended ourselves to make a passing comment or brief exchange before the break, I now have a point or marker that I feel allows me to continue with the relationship.
For me it’s wonderful to hold that point when the post holiday emotional retreat comes, and the so-called mundaneness of life kicks back in. So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile. It is a pre-Christmas effort toward me returning. I can continue from where the relationship reached and for that I’m very grateful.
I was once waiting for the high of Christmas and wanting to escape and splurge on anything that took me further away from myself. The development of my Livingness by re-connecting to myself and thereby allowing deeper connections with others that I have found through Universal Medicine has provided me with the tools to tackle life with joy and a fulfilment that is overflowing.
So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.
By Matthew Brown, Subiaco, Perth, Western Australia
440 Comments
Amazing blog Matthew, I too have noticed that at Christmas time at work everyone seems to be more engaging and friendly, but when I reflected on the rest of the year there was a quite a lot of “daily grind’ and disconnection and separation – Christmas time can remind us that the truth is families are suppose to love each other, and this should be EVERY day!
I love this sharing Matthew and the wisdom of taking the connections made around a Christmas into the coming weeks, not letting them wane, but instead deepening them. It feels so key in today’s world where we tend to withdraw, especially if another withdraws first. To instead stay present with people, calling them out of their withdrawal, by just staying connected with them.
“I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.’
Its a great to build relationships as people seem to be more open and willing to share and listen. I find there is a feeling of a sense of joy within people and with that they want to share with others.
‘So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile’. Beautiful Matthew, our life is about relationships, to connect to people and to be open, to cherish and hold people in our love.
What a beautiful to way to finish your blog Matthew. “So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.”. As Christmas Day is only three weeks away you have inspired me to step out into every day with the same philosophy that you have shared; taking the opportunity, when people who might not normally connect with me at another time do so, and in that moment offer me the space to expand on the smile or the few words that they share. What a true gift for Christmas!
The true gift of Christmas – the opportunity to build relationships that last beyond the post Christmas let down…I have always loved connecting with people and I love your positive take on the letting down of the protective guard that people usually walk around with and feel this just demonstrates how much we all wish for connection, but that for so many they feel too hurt or lost to risk the possibility of rejection so stay trapped in their own little bubble most of the year. Here’s to dismantling barriers and spreading the love all the year round.
Very appropriate to re-read your blog about Christmas – as we are in December once again. “So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet.”
I agree Christmas is a great opportunity to build relationships and continue them throughout the year, it’s like Christmas is just an icebreaker to get to know someone, and we are often surprised when we dig a little deeper into the relationship as to how much we have in common.
I love to hear that, Susan. And I feel because you’ve connected once, it is easier to do it again and again.
It’s a great point, Matthew. People have an excuse to say hello or to engage around a period like Christmas. Just as they do around any big calendar event. But these events when people are more open can be a platform or the beginnings of a relationship. When we can begin to get to know someone – and not just talk about the weather. I’d never really thought about it before, but great article – and good timing as we’re just over a month away from Christmas.
Like anytime we stop it’s a great time for us to reassess and choose again what we would like to see and feel coming back to us. That’s what Christmas or the Christmas break gives us, an opportunity to stop and breathe. I find the same things people seem to have more time and in that time they are usually on for a chat that may not be there at any other time during the year. I remember growing up as a child the Christmas break felt like a lifetime, the time away from school seemed like it went forever when now I can see it’s not that long. Anytime is a great time to connect with someone and say hello and if a time of year gives more of an opportunity for that then I appreciate that as well. It’s coming up to that time of year again and a time to stop and reassess what the year feels like as a whole, then simply bring that awareness into the next moment or year. It maybe the end of a year but it’s also the beginning of another.
“So yes, I love Christmas, but now for a very different reason — the opportunity to build relationships with everyone I meet”.
I totally agree Matthew, that there is nothing more important in this world than building relationships with others; the best present ever – and every one comes wrapped in its own unique and beautiful packaging.
What a turnaround, that Christmas is not about self, but about building relationships for the benefit of all.
Thanks Matthew, revisiting your blog I am reminded that xmas festivities can provide a new benchmark for a relationship to build from, no different to birthdays too amongst family members… we make such an effort for that one day, making someone feel special, and the rest of the year, do little to foster anything like this. There is definitely a different way to go about this that is far more fulfilling and supportive for all involved.
Beautiful Matthew. A present of Christmas presence that lasts all year
Joy and fulfilment are two pretty extraordinary tools to have in your tool belt to support you to face whatever life throws at you. There is no doubt that they come from developing a deep connection with ourselves and then with others.
It’s very true Matthew, it makes no sense when you look at it as you have, to put this enormous effort into our most significant relationships for one day, and then drop the bar on the quality of interactions for the rest of the year. It’s no different to birthday celebrations really… an opportunity to make one day special, or to make every day beyond that an ever deepening expression of that love.
Christmas can be such an overwhelming time when we make it all about the right gifts for family and loved ones and the pressures of putting on a food feast. Thank you Matthew Brown for sharing your experience that can make it so simple and obviously bring a much deeper level of understanding about the people in our lives and the quality connections we can make.
Thank you, Mathew on a topic we need to discuss and find the truth – life is all about relationships – true ones. So is Christ-mass a great reflection in the month December to feel and appreciate where you have come in regards to your relationships build and an opportunity to heal and deepen them too.. Incredible life would be if we looked at Christmass like that – not an event about food or ‘duty’. ..
As a child I could never understand why people were more open and friendly around the festive season, why couldn’t we be like this everyday of the year? To live life everyday with a natural joy and openness is a great way to start and to feel the flow on effect and inspiration this has on others around us.
I love what you are sharing here Mathew, I am one for striking up conversation in the bank line or shopping in the supermarket with complete strangers. I do this all year but I have also clocked is when it comes to ‘the season to be jolly’ others feel they can too, its like they are given permission.
Great point Sarah, it is as though on ‘special occasions’ we’re given permission to be more friendly, more loving, more appreciative, more joyful… imagine what would happen if we took ever day as a new benchmark for how we might build on it for the next. Something resembling brotherhood wouldn’t be too far way for starters.
‘So my gift is now the nurturing of the initial hello or pre-Christmas smile’. What an awesome opportunity you have chosen to create Matthew! A far wiser and more connected approach to Christmas than we often choose to take.
Thank you Mathew for showing us something different. Too often Christmas is seen as something to indulge and get lost in, emotions run high and almost everyone regrets what they have eaten and drunk the following day.
This is the same as going on vacation just to escape or going on vacation to connect deeper with those your with and also be open to meeting others along the way.
Yes, that ‘goodwill to all men’ feels great but is usually short-lived. So it serves merely as an annual reflection of how life could be all year round if everyone chose to value the connection that had been made during the festive period and made it a daily commitment to maintain it.
Yes, Gill and Matthew. It was the same at my workplace and in shops etc generally pre Christmas. It is a good marker for how open we are willing to be with other people who are outside our normal circle of family and friends. I know as time has gone by I have definitely been more open with others so it’s a good reminder reading this blog to keep building on the foundation I have established and to not let myself go into cruise mode and complacency in this area of my life.
‘For those interactions where we exchanged an extra smile, nod or extended ourselves to make a passing comment or brief exchange before the break, I now have a point or marker that I feel allows me to continue with the relationship.’ As we begin to build relationships with colleagues it gives us the opportunity to be more open with each other, every time we meet.
Thank you Matthew for making the moments leading up to Christmas and the exchanges shared a new marker for us all. I loved what you have captured here – the beautiful openness that can happen between people. I have felt this too – joy, openness and more willingness to engage. Love it.
Building true relationships in our community is essential for our own revolution
Thank you Mathew, for a different way of feeling into Xmas. That connections are made when people open up to the joy during Xmas and that these can be built further and on going into the new year.
Mathew, it was great to read your blog about how you use the festive time through people being a bit more light hearted as an opportunity to connect more deeply to people and develop relationships rather than the usual focus on presents, eating and drinking more and escaping from the normalises of life.
I am the same Matthew. The family for me is aspect of Christmas I now cherish most. It is not just the opportunity to connect with others not seen for a while but also the opportunity to make closer connections with the wider family and community.
It’s an interesting but I feel a very true observation you share Matthew, that people are more friendly, open and willing to connect with others at Christmas time. It begs the question of why is this so. Why are we more friendly with each other in December than in any other time of the year? If we are honest we could say this does not make sense as any day of the year gives us the same opportunity to spread our own presence and gift of connection with others equally.
This is so beautiful and inspiring, to take it as a marker of the relationship, and don’t dip with them again after the festive days. It is a gift for all to cherish those relationships.
We had our Christmas celebration at work yesterday, and what was beautiful is that it was a culmination of the relationships we have built throughout the year. What’s interesting is that it is more acceptable to openly show appreciation for each other with gifts and warm embraces than it is other times of the year. I will be definitely continuing and deepening this more after Christmas, and not just leaving it for a certain time of the year.
We can sometimes have the initial connection with others at Christmas or when something else brings us together like an issue or event and this marker provides us with a starting point to build on the relationship. But really so too can a smile or a ‘breaking the silence’ moment if we dare to let go of the guard and rejoin our natural flow to connect with the world.
There is indeed the possibility of celebration every day… When we look into a strangers eyes and see such light and warmth being reflected back, surely this is a cause for understanding that we are one humanity and indeed a cause for celebration.
I totally agree Chris. Eye connection is indeed cause for celebration 🙂 🙂
I love how you talk about building on the connections people generally seem more open to at Christmas. Something to expand in rather than being hurt by the fact the door was only opened albeit briefly and then closed again.
Reading this again as it comes up to that season once again I can’t help but take notice that underneath all the glamor that Christmas has been turned into there is this want to connect to people and family more than any other time of the year. Rather than trying to stress out and make the event perfect on the outside what about making it real from the inside – between the people rather than making it all about the outer trimmings and objects. A month to really take stock and appreciate those around us feels much lighter than the focus on what to get and what we might receive. Thank you Matthew.
Christmas is yet another day, there is so much build up, and many expectations of this for one day. As you say Leigh there is a lot of glamor around Christmas, a sweeping under the carpet of many things on the account of it being Christmas. So what happens after Christmas to all the things that get swept under the carpet that could so easily be worked with and on throughout the year so that when Christmas comes around next year relationships could be on a whole new level without the level of tension from the expectations present the year before.
A timely reminder as Christmas is not far away