Just last week I shared an email conversation with a friend in which, amongst other things, I asked how they were, and in return they did the same. Normally part of me would say I am amazing, which I am, but I would never really be completely honest or truth-full. I would say a version of what I was feeling but hold back from sharing in full, or say what I thought I should be saying, what another wanted to hear, or feel that I had to be a certain way – in other words, I found it difficult just being me.
But there was something this morning that made me stop and ask myself: “how am I really feeling?” This gave me the space to really feel how I was, how my body was feeling, and not what my head was telling me I should feel. To my lovely surprise I wasn’t feeling flat or down, yes I was feeling physically tired, but with this I felt amazing, joyful and so lovely and delicate.
So rather than simply replying that I’m great or amazing, I thought, you know what, I am going to be completely honest and share in full how I’m really feeling. In doing so, this then allowed for me to open up to share how I was really feeling about everything else too, with no need for it – or myself – to be a certain way, and no need to worry about what another may think or say: it felt amazing! My body felt gentle, open and loving; there was no effort, tension or thinking, just the simplicity, honesty and loveliness of just being me and expressing in full.
The reply that came back simply confirmed that true blessings do happen every single day; it made me smile a huge heartfelt smile from inside out. My friend shared how it felt great to hear me talk about how I really am in full without hiding or holding back on what I really felt, and from that they opened up and shared in full how they were really feeling too.
It was simply beautiful just being me, and goes to show the true magic, beauty and openness that can be found when we choose to be completely honest and truth-full, sharing in full how we really are feeling, and with that it allows others to feel, be open and express how they really are feeling, in full too.
Inspired by the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
by Gyl Rae, Student and Waitress, Scotland
767 Comments
Saying “I am fine” when asked “How are you?,” is a standard reply that does not really say anything and does not open up the conversation. I know when I am feeling great I don’t always say this, and if I do I then try and dull it down thinking can I really feel great, rather than just accepting I feel amazing and expressing it. Appreciation is the key and something I am living more and more.
It seems important to go deeper with this question as you have Gyl of what it means to simply be me. In establishing a foundation of presence and awareness of myself in a consistent way in many moments in each day, it seems that the significance of simply being me flowing into how I live and how I relate to others is becoming imbued with a grace and power that is very natural and normal, even though not chosen for most of my life. To be able to move beyond the momentum and hurt of not choosing this and instead to just get on with being me, seems to be what is making it feel very natural and normal.
Great blog Gyl. I have this tendency to say that I feel amazing or don’t feel amazing at all, but when I am honest I can feel amazing and that there is sense of e.g.. anxiousness, stress, sadness. Expressing that way brings so much more truth to our conversations. It gets more real.
Gyl I love how it feels reading: ‘your loving appreciation of being you and with that the shared opening the flowed between you both’. A living lesson for the ages, thank you.
Thank you Gyl… I am fortunate enough to be meeting regularly with a group of men who are actually saying how they are feeling. It is a wonderful feeling just to be in this group, and to feel the kinship, the companionship, the connection, or one could say the energy that grows simply from this sharing of how we are feeling.
Hi Gyl, Simply being ourselves gives another the freedom to be themselves how beautiful is that and why do we make life any other way?
Gyl so true what you reveal in your blog. I must admit I thought that I would bore someone if I told the truth of how I felt in the moment of their asking. I am also learning the great value in actually being fully present with myself and sharing how I feel when asked , that then opens up the conversation and allows the other person to share honestly as well. Thank you.
It’s funny how, when we are asked how we are feeling, we focus on the aches and pains or indulge in the negatives of what we haven’t done and rarely use words like,”I’m feeling really tender today”. We often express just what’s on the surface, or as you say, what we THINK we should say, but there’s a deeper level of feeling we can choose to be more honest about and that we can express.
That’s so true Carmel, I often gloss over and don’t go into detail of appreciating what is actually working or going well in my life and look for the problems or issues that need fixing. The more I let go of my fixation to fix problems and appreciate the loveliness of my being in the moment, there is more space and joy and what needs responding to naturally appears.
Spot on Ariana,’ Being me regardless of what happens around me or at me. Not faltering no matter how many people react or reject me, for I will not reject the truth of who I am’. Powerful and just awesome.
I have always found it difficult in the past to, just be me, but what I am finding is the more I allow my self to express what needs to be expressed on the moment, this then has a positive impact on the next moment and the next as I give myself permission to express in each and every moment.
I have been feeling for a while the superficialness of that question and reply generally when people just ask and answer as an exchange. But when truly asking and truly answering, a door is opened to share. It is terrible the way our everyday interactions and relationships have come to be so empty. People feel alone, stuck in their ‘stuff’
and that no one really cares.
Every interaction has the potential to be real if we just open up and be real, be ourselves.
Since attending Universal Medicine courses and healing sessions I have discovered I love people and love connecting to them. Therefore when people ask me how I am, I see it as an opening and an opportunity to connect to and share with another person – which is rather lovely. I have discovered just as you described how open and ready to share most other people are when I take the first step
In reading this blog this morning, It reflected back to me a new awareness of connecting with myself and really acknowledging how I am feeling, allowing a rawness and openness to everything there to feel and simply be with it and move forward in the day from it. I wouldn’t have known how to describe what I was feeling to anyone and do it justice – so much going on inside, so much coming through me and it did feel amazing to just to observe it.
As I read this it reminded me of how often we give the automatic ‘polite’ reply without ever really considering the question which pretty much makes that whole interaction pointless and distant.
What I have found is that when I am vulnerable and share from that place of vulnerability, there is an openess and expansion that comes with the sharing. When I drop my guard and be totally honest, it then allows another to drop theirs and be completely open and honest as well.
I feel you have described beautifully Donna the “Gateway to true Intimacy” bring it on more I say……..
Yes it is so good to express without hesitation what we feel to express. I often hold back after feeling to reply in a certain way because I go and think about what people may think of it. But it really impacts on how I feel when I hold things inside instead of expressing it. When I hold back I get a numb feeling in my body, when I express what I feel to express I feel an opening up, a spaciousness and a lot of joy. Not really a choice what to go with hey!
Gyl it’s such an important topic that you have raised because we are interacting with people all of the time. So the question is who is saying what to whom ? We can choose to not be ourselves and say what we feel should be said to someone who then reflects back to us who they are not or we can express the truth from who we truly are knowing that this could possibly inspire another to reply as who they truly are.
Gyl your blog was a true blessing in itself. Thank you for sharing such honesty and openess with us all.
Thankyou Gyl. Its amazing how there is always this yearning to really express ourselves. And when we do it is just so amazing. Others are thankful that we did, because then they can too. It really breaks down barriers in the world, and allows people to connect. Often I have thoughts that I won’t express how I’m really feeling because it might be a bit much for the other person, they might think I’m crazy for saying so much. But I’ve definitely noticed that when we open up and share ourselves with another, it releases a lot of tension and we can really connect with one another.
There is such a difference Gyl in really expressing from my body how I feel, and saying I feel great, trying to convince myself that I do, or convince others. In this simple blog you have really got to the heart of an important point about how sharing joy and the true feeling of wellbeing with another, starts with our own acknowledgement, not feeling we need to hide it, and actually offering others the opportunity to enjoy the whole of us. Thank you.
Gyl,
Yay!
I am delighted that I came back to your blog this morning Gyl, as I am learning that if I am anything but honest these days I can feel it instantly in my body, and it feels horrible. When I am asked the question “how are you’, I often find myself going into a quick check, before I open my mouth, of what is acceptable to share with this person. There is the old feeling of “do they really want to hear how I am truly feeling?”. These days, because I know that if I am not honest my body will speak very loudly, I know that my reply needs to be truth-full, but without any attachment to their response. Thank you for sharing how lovely and freeing it was to allow yourself to express the truth of how you were feeling, a great marker for future “how are you feeling’ questions.
Smiling as I return to re-read this beautiful blog. Holding back and expressing how we truly feel when asked the question ‘How are you’? I’ve noticed that this only holds back the person asking the question in the first place to express in return, open and honestly. Thank you Gyl.
I am so enjoying my expression at the moment that I am actually looking forward to express. I am also more and more really saying how I feel, without being afraid to get rejected or to think for the other what they might think of me. Yesterday I sent a text that I was missing somebody and that I would love to be with that person in that moment. I noticed that I had this belief around ‘missing somebody’ and that this was wrong. It felt so freeing to share this and to break through that belief and really allow myself to feel this. What I notice is that after expressing something, it just leaves your body and whatever was there, is gone. The new moment is there and so we move from one moment to the other. How gorgeous life is, once we really express.
Very beautiful Gyl thank you. I have experienced when I am open, honest and not holding back my friends are more relaxed and are also more comfortable to also be the same. It feels so awesome when this kind of connection between friends and families are practiced to truly connect and express in full how we feel.
I agree Chan, our connection with ourselves brings us closer with everyone.
That’s so well expressed Leonne. It feels strange spending time suppressing how we really feel. When I first moved to Australia I found it strange that the standard reply to ‘how are you?’ is ‘good thanks!’, as if everything was upbeat and just dandy. It almost feels a compulsory answer and each time I hear it I can feel the suppression in each person’s expression. And sometimes the person asking the question hopes for that answer – not wishing for the responsibility should it be anything other than that. I am feeling now my development in my response to be far more honest and connected to how I really do feel – as it certainly does feel a poison and dishonouring to myself to simply provide a standard response which is completely disconnected to how I really feel.
Thank you Gyl, great expression of joy and confirmation of the importance in expressing this to allow the real-us to be thoroughly enjoyed and deeply appreciated.
A beautiful reminder Gyl that being us in full supports others to do the same.
This blog shows how strange it is that we spend so much time and energy hiding what we really feel, even from ourselves. Thank you Gyl.
This is so true Leonne, no wonder so many people are exhausted. It feels very draining to go against our natural way of being. When I express how I truly feel, I feel energised. When I hold back how I feel it’s extremely exhausting.
When we are freely able to smile from the inside out, this feels to me like life is complete, and everyone around us enjoys a similar sense of completion. Thanks Gyl for your lovely expression.
I agree Jennifer, smiling from the inside out is divine! When I express myself this way I feel like a big ball of sunshine and it flows through to everyone around me. Even better, it feels natural.
Such is the importance of not holding back even if one is sharing truth but not the WHOLE of what was the truth at that moment it was shared.
This is a beautiful sharing Gyl of how powerful when we express ourselves in full. At first this can feel raw and vulnerable, as most of us have not been encouraged from young to express all of who we are without reservation — because our parents didn’t have this either when they were young. So it takes a willingness and commitment and a bit of patience but it is absolutely worth it, and with the support of Universal Medicine and the amazing esoteric practitioners I’m finding it easier and easier to just be all of me and express that with people around me. It’s the biggest coming home present one could ever wish for.
Thank you Gyl for sharing how blessings occur when we express in full. I am very aware of how I often give a measured response which ultimately serves no-one and leaves everyone lesser for it.
True and wise words Andrew. We leave another lesser when we are not honestly sharing what we really feel and what is going on in our life. We show understanding and care when we really listen. This is something beautiful we can share with another.
Gyl, I can feel the loveliness that you choose to live in the words you write. By being open we give another the space to do the same. We definitely need more of this in the world, thank you!
Yes I totally agree Kate. I know I can contribute by choosing to express in full how I feel in a loving way and not to be afraid of other people’s reactions or take it personally. To be honest, loving and open consistently is key to building true relationships.
Gyl I loved the simplicity of what you have shared about being willing to be honest. I too have found this the only way to develop deeply open and loving relationships.
honesty brings a humbleness
Thank you Gyl. I have found that when I really open up and truly express in full to others I receive the same back. When I hold back and limit my expression I receive the same in return. The first allows everyone to grow and is so much fun. The last is limiting in every way and does nothing to grow relationships.
On re-reading this awesome blog today Gyl I am reminded of how I can still go into needing to present the perfect picture. This is such a trap and stops me from being truly open with people and simply feeling what is going on for me. It is interesting how we can try to avoid feeling instead of accepting and bringing understanding to what we feel and making a choice from this space.
Thanks Gyl. It is really simple what you’re sharing but also I feel it would be life changing in practice. I often hold back how I’m feeling or give the answer I think another would like to hear. We don’t want to dump our stuff on people but it does allow a beautiful connection with another when we connect to how we actually feel and be honest (and discerning) rather than just say “okay” “good”.
Beautiful sharing Gyl Rae. What I got from your blog is that when we hold back in our expression that this puts a lock on our body that so naturally needs to express what is felt inside.
While I can see that it feels awful to hold back in expression and by doing that I also put a lock on the expression of others, I am sometimes still doing that dependant on the mood I choose to be in. This means to me that I have a say in if I express in full or not, and that I use it because I do not want to receive the full expression of the other.
Thank you Gyl, a very helpful reminder just in time for the easter brunch with my family.
Such a simple question and yet so difficult for most of us to answer it honestly. Most of the time I see myself saying ‘Fine’ and if it is more, I start talking about what I am doing. I will take your example Gyl with me in my days and truly connect to me, my body and feel what is there to be expressed. Lovely try out.
A great reminder Gyl that the more we just be ourselves, with no pretence, how this allows others too to be themselves. This creates an openess and a warmth in sharing that feels true.
I like this point you make about how being honest and open allows another to be honest and open too, if they choose it of course.
Thank you Gyl this beautiful reminder to not hold back expressing my glory in full. It is a blessing not only for those who receive it but also for me when I allow the fullness of my light and love to shine through. I am learning more every day how beautiful it feels when I let people in.
Isn’t it beautiful when we allow people into our heart, and what can happen then is delicate and amazing – a true divine connection with anyone, when we allow to show ourselves.
Thank you Gyl. I am reminded by what you have written here the importance of speaking my truth so it allows another to speak their truth.
People, especially our friends really do want to know how we are. We have just become a bit uncomfortable about stopping for a moment and really feeling so that we can express everything we feel. As one person shifts out of the auto-pilot replies, the other will also have the chance to expand on how they feel too. Everyone wins!
Hi Fiona, I’ve been noticing and stopping the auto-pilot replies recently. It allows the conversation to open up for more honesty.
Gyl, thank you for such a beautiful blog, I agree with what you have shared. I also notice the more I express openly and honesty how this inspires others to also feel safe to express how they feel as well.
I do like this blog Gyl. Coming back to it and re-reading has made me appreciate that I am still improving in my expression when it comes to communicating with people truthfully. It has been a good check in since last time and there is always room for improvement but at least I’m not standing still.
I love rereading this blog as it continues to show me the importance of being real and honest with everyone one I meet. When I am true to me I notice that others are more open in their discussion of how they are feeling too.
Thank you Gyl for starting this conversation. When I just give a dismissive ‘fine’ when sharing how I am feeling it now acts like a stop moment as it shows me that I have not given myself the space to feel how I am. If I ask this question of someone else I appreciate hearing the truth so it builds a relationship if I am honest and share what I too am feeling.
Your blog is so inspiring Gyl. I chose it…or it chose me because there is a difficult conversation to be had with a friend. I feel anxious about it, and rather than doing what I usually do, which is to going into a mental frenzy preparing myself, I am just going to feel my body…my greatest guide and the most source of loving intelligence.
Thank you for supporting me with your words, even though you live so far away, and this was written a little time ago..
Honesty and love are always applicable in life!
Thank you for sharing this Rachel. It is so easy to be inspired to make conversations more honest and remember to do it when someone says ‘how are you’ or when there is a general chat. But when those difficult conversations arise I seem to forget about everything previously looked at – I go straight into my head, mental frenzy and strategising. Honesty, feeling our body, staying open and love is indeed the way to go – in all situations..
Gyl, this shows that by honouring our true feelings of how we are really feeling, it can open a conversation up and then there is no pretence, or needing to play roles, and we can allow ourselves to just be ourselves, what a relief!
A huge relief Sandra, that can actually be physically felt, it’s like carrying a heavy bag then choosing to let it go, and feeling much lighter.
Indeed Gyl, sharing how I truly feel is magnificent! And it’s far better then just the same ol’ casual reply, with no expression and not really opening up to the other person. I find this far more amazing than having a normal and regular conversation, I would rather be weird and express what I really feel. And it’s weird at first but I enjoy that!
I agree Harrison, to express ourselves is so much more fun. It brings a light to my day instead of a dread and staleness that can come in when I stop expressing my playfulness and amazingness.
A beautiful blog to return to – old habits do try and sneak in at times, the one where you reply “I’m fine” or” I’m well thank you”, the latter I use often which is a response when I do not give myself enough time to really feel and connect to my body. It is so freeing to express from ‘all of me’ and this blog serves as a gentle reminder, so thank you Gyl.
This is very true Gyl. When I read a blog from someone who does not edit anything about themselves, and authentically expresses how things are for them, I find that very healing. It encourages all of us to drop our guard and just be real. The blessing is definitely both ways. Thanks for sharing.
I couldn’t agree more Melinda, sometimes I think is it okay to say I feel this way, but the truth is we have to be honest and open with ourselves first – if not we can end up playing a game pretending everything is okay.
This is so true Gyl – by being open we allow others to be more open and this in turn gives a freedom we don’t always feel otherwise. Thank you for the reminder today to take ‘open’ me everywhere.
Thank you Gyl. People are so used to hiding behind the shields and masks, at work and even at home, that we start to think that the mask is us. When someone puts aside the old so-called protection and expresses from their inner selves, it really does open it up for everyone. It means there is one less person playing the game of deception that everyone is playing, saying no, this is me. How liberating.
I love this line Chris “saying no, this is me’ – very liberating indeed.
Your joyfulness is felt in this blog, Gyl and it is a great reminder of how loving it is to express truth. Thank you.
Simple and gorgeous blog, so lovely to read.
Once we reach the point where we will be completely honest and express the truth in full, we create an incredible space for others to do the same. This is an amazing power everybody has, we just have to allow ourselves to live it.
How wonderful to truly connect with our bodies and reply from there when the question pops up. The question we ask each other so often that it has become an automatic pilot. The question we don’t expext a true answer on anymore. The question which is not anymore asked with sincerity. So yes, let’s respond this question with a true reflection of how we feel. And let’s ask it also with true sincerity and interest how the other truly is. It takes two to tango, so together this will become a lovely dance.
I will take this image with me Caroline this is beautiful – dancing with another. Talking and sharing about everything that is important at the moment was not coming easy for me in the past, I did not want to take someones time to listen to me. Today I know that is so important to openly share what I do feel and this brings me a lot of reflections from others.
Such a simple blog, but one with oodles of wisdom and joy. To realise that holding back from my true expression, not only harms me, but also the person I am with, was a life changing one. I now choose to express with honesty, and like you, have experienced the joy of the other person as my expression offers them the opportunity to say what they really want to say; such a beautiful moment that offers healing for both of us.
Lovely to re-read this blog again and the reminder; that all I need to do, ‘is just be me’.
Thanks for sharing this Gyl, its true that many of us hold back sharing ourselves in full, and from my experience there are several reasons why we choose to do this, but for me the big one is self judgment or on the other side of it, the need to be accepted by others and avoid feeling rejected. Your blog serves to remind us that if we simply express, accepting ourselves in full then what comes from this is irrelevant. So long as we are not holding back our truthful selves.
Just beautiful Gyl. I too share and open up to how I’m feeling to my friends and partner. By doing this my whole body responds with ease. In the past I would hold back on telling people how I really felt and it was just like skimming over the real feeling I had in my body. Since being part of Universal Medicine and the teaching of Serge Benhayon, my truth of feeling into my body has changed my life. I don’t get it right all the time but it’s way better then how I used to express on my everyday day feeling.
I loved re-reading your blog Gyl, it is great to have the reminder of the impact we have when we are honest with someone. When I look back on my life I can see how I have rarely been honest with myself or anyone else, always holding back from really expressing what I really wanted to say, measuring how much or how little I was going to say. Changing how I express has made a huge difference, I am no longer constantly assessing, measuring and wondering if I should or shouldn’t say something. It is a constant learning everyday to change they way I have held back for so long.
Beautifully written, Gyl. Allowing myself to express what I am feeling, without needing to be right, or worrying how I was going to be perceived, has completely changed my life. In the past I would always withdraw from others, and this would make me come across as someone who was shy or awkward and didn’t know what to say. With the support of Michael Benhayon and the practitioners of Universal Medicine, I worked on developing expressing who I am with no holding back. This lead to a profound change in my relationship with myself and my ability to let other people in. Today I enjoy an abundance of loving and true relationships in my life, that was never possible when I was playing the protection game.
Gyl, this is such a lovely account of expression in full emanation. Your beautiful words allow me to feel the awesome potential of what is waiting for us if we let our guard down and just simply express as to how we are actually feeling, in truth. Very lovely.
I agree Natasha. It is lovely when we let others in and truly express and connect.
Gyl, I imagined myself doing the same thing as you, telling others how I truly felt in full. At first I felt fear, fear that what I said would make them feel uncomfortable in some way. I then went past the fear and felt into it. I then could feel the expansion you wrote about. This felt real and far more loving to myself and the recipient. I could feel how this gave room for myself and the other to grow and how not sharing capped us both.
Once I asked myself: What is the difference between being honest and being truthful? I found for myself it is exactly what you did, Gyl. To be honest is sharing a part of the truth, to be truthful is sharing it in full.
Thanks Gyl, You have given me cause to reflect on how often I say that I am “ok” or even “awesome” when someone asks me how I am instead of checking in with myself and then expressing the truth of how I am feeling in full. I have always assumed that people didn’t really want to know the whole truth, but if they ask me “How are you?”, I will give them a complete and honest answer to their question to honour the interest they are taking.
Connection is all that we want and crave in life- your blog reminds us how easy it is to get in contact with another person by just being truthful. And for me it doesn´t have to be many words- the moment you get asked you can show your vulnerable side and BAM the connection is offered and there.
It’s amazing how it is such a cultural norm for us to come back with a stock standard answer when someone asks how we are going. I have only recently started to be more open when asked this question and I can now see after reading your blog Gyl that I can be more open still. Lovely to contemplate …. Thank you Gyl.
The simplicity of sharing in an honest way appears to be easy, why wouldn’t we tell someone what’s really going on?
But there are so many hurts we are trying to protect and keep hidden that we keep things superficial, on the surface when people ask how we are.
When we take what feels like a risk and open up and share what’s really going on in our life’s, life becomes richer and has a depth and amazingness, that had we not gone there and played it safe, we never would have felt. Thank you Gyl for sharing your experience.
This is beautiful Gyl and such a real sharing of the joy and conformation we feel when coming from complete honesty and just being oneself. It is amazing what an opening up and loving comes from speaking like this and what comes back also. Thank you Gyl I am loving and learning this too.
I have shied away from ‘being completely honest’ for much of my life. I was certain that if I was, I would be ‘found out’ and it would open up something I could not control or deal with.
Sadly, this holding back has resulted in my not allowing people to see the real me.
You have shown courage Gyl and propelled me to embrace ” the true magic, beauty and openness that can be found when we choose to be truth-full “
Simply lovely Gyl, someone once said to me that when we say that throwaway line “I’m fine” what we really mean is “I’m F.I.N.E” – Freaked out, Insecure, Nervous and Exhausted.” Haha.
How true that has been for me in the past, a brittle niceness to keep all on an even keel, and people at a distance too. So beautiful to let go of that and speak from our connectedness to our bodies, when I am confident in that the difference is amazing, there is no holding back with either party.
“So beautiful to let go of that and speak from our connectedness to our bodies, when I am confident in that the difference is amazing, there is no holding back with either party.” So well expressed Jeanette thank you. It makes such an amazing difference when you simply speak how you truly feel & it’s as though the other person feels they have approval to do the same or they stop & really look at you and you can see them connecting to how they are feeling in that moment. And even though their response may only be a smile, in that moment they made the re-connection to themselves and that’s awesome.
Thank you Gyl it is amazing how much we can hold back. Being true full first with ourselves and then with others is an amazing way to be and just creates more magic more honesty and joy in any interaction we may have “It was simply beautiful just being me, and goes to show the true magic, beauty and openness that can be found when we choose to be completely honest and truth-full, sharing in full how we really are feeling, and with that it allows others to feel, be open and express how they really are feeling, in full too.”
Gyl, to express openly and observe how others then feel it is also okay for them to be honest, can delight and surprise me.
What I have noticed is the look on the person’s face behind the supermarket check out. When they ask you “how are you today”? I tell them honestly how I am feeling, it stops them in their tracks. Because they are so used to hearing “I’m fine or I’m okay”. But I don’t answer that way. I tell them the truth. Then you find, that they to do start to open up to you as well…true connection between the two of us.
I have found this for myself too Susan. The more open I am the more open people are with me. It is really lovely.
I too have recently embraced honesty – it”s rather transformative. When I express honestly how I feel, with out dumping or expecting anything in response, I feel open, lighter and have a sense of my own fragility and can hold myself close in this in the most lovely way. The more I do this for self the stronger I feel in myself to be myself and let others be themselves too.
When we are with ourselves and connected to how we’re feeling, it’s much easier to express this clearly and honestly to others. And when we do this, we give others permission to do the same.
Thank you for your honest expression Gyl, we hold so much back from sharing what is truly felt. In holding back we are not letting others in.
I agree Natalie, holding back our expression is like measuring how much we let another in so the relationship is based on us protecting or hurts and not of true intimacy with another.
Beautiful to see how just being me has a ripple effect.
It is so important to give permission to ourselves to be ourselves in full. What a great reminder. Thank you Gyl for writing this.
Simple but true, if we express openly to another it allows them the freedom to feel that they can express openly back to us, and then the connection can be honest and lovely and not just a polite formal exchange.
Honesty is so under-rated.
Ha Ha Shannon, I loved your under-rated comment, it copped such a punch. It reminds me of how simple and open honesty can be when we neither hold back by minimising or exaggerating what is going on for us.
If we are honest with ourselves in all we do in this life, we can pass that honesty on to all others.
There’s a lot in what you say here Gyl. It’s about honesty, but also just taking the time to truly connect, both with yourself and with others. And then there is also putting yourself out there with no expectation, sometimes I have found that sharing how I really am isn’t always received fully or responded to, and that is okay too. Thanks for your sharing Gyl, I love the image and feeling I get when I read about you living on the Scottish coast with the sky, the moon, the birds and the people.
Thank you Gyl, great blog. A standard reply of ‘I’m fine’, tends to keep ourselves and others at bay. Having conversations with others is a great way to bring a stop and check-in moment when someone does ask ‘How are you?’ and opportunity to not hide, and express honesty. It certainly takes the relationship with self and another to a deeper level.
Yes Johanne, and it can be with anyone. I had that conversation with one of the young men who work in a greengrocers I frequently shop at, and as we greeted each other he asked me how I was feeling, I had just come back from a lovely beach walk and felt really great and said so. He then fully opened up what he was feeling and why, and that he was not gonna do that again for a very long time as his body let him know what it felt like. It was a lovely conversation to have, and we both felt for a moment connected on a much more personal level than ever before.
Truly beautiful. Expressing how you feel while you are lovingly connected to yourself is a gift all around.
Gyl this is so fundamental yet we have come so far from being able to say how we really are.
I know I hear alarm bells when my repeated response becomes “fine” as it sounds, this is too often my coping word.
Not to say that my response must be indulgently about me – simply a stop, a check point of what is really going on – this willingness to be honest can be so refreshing, so well received in a world thats become evermore removed from this simple connection.
So very true … “It is OK to be open and honest”. I for one didn’t know that being brought up in the era where children were scene and not heard ~ you can’t say that because that will hurt their feelings ~ you still have to do that even if you don’t want to ~ you still have to go even if you don’t want to ~ all because it may or may not offend another person. What a gift it has been to be able to truly express how I feel its been so healing not just for me but for everyone as they too get the reflection of speaking how and what they truly feel lovingly so. No longer do I keep people at arms length no longer do I live with a false appearance resenting myself and others for my not speaking how I feel. What an amazing difference “The Way of The Livingness” has made not just in my life but with everyone I meet. There is such harmony and a sense of oneness in speaking how you truly feel.
Gorgeous and playful read Gyl and a great reminder how this openness and connection with another happens by first having this willingness to be open and honest with ourself – Thank you!
So true Julie, honesty comes with self first. I find that if I am honest with myself in my expression, it allows others’ to do the same, and there is no more game playing, and that just feels so natural.
There is a true magic in being open and truthful, I am learning this every day and it is much less tiring.
For me there has been a hesitancy to being totally open about how I feel because then I may appear that I do not have it all together. This façade has kept people at arms length and has been reflected back to me. Thank you Gyl for sharing your experience here. It is OK to be open and honest.
Thank you Gyl, when we allow ourselves to just surrender and to honesty feel what we are feeling life becomes so much more simple. When we stop the internal fight within ourselves that says we should feel and be a certain way and instead just accept ourselves and how we are in that moment it totally allows the opportunity for healing.- How awesome is that!
Gyl this has been something I’ve thought of often and have played with to feel others reaction. What I’ve found is I need to make sure that I’m speaking from truth and not a place of need. A place of need being a place where I’m wanting some recognition or confirmation to hold me in a certain way. The other thing I discovered is it’s much easier to express when I’m feeling joyful as I know the other is willing to receive this joy, as opposed to speaking the truth even if it’s not so joyful and feeling their reaction of perhaps wanting to fix it or not wanting to hear the truth. I can feel there is a lot in it for me to discover on this subject and the way I express my truth and what I belief I used to hold me back.