When I look back at the dress I chose for my wedding*, it was the design and look that I had imagined since I was a young girl. Having a background in textiles, at times through my life I found photos of wedding dresses that I liked, and on reflection I realise the dress I wore on my wedding day was similar to some of those dresses.
Now this sounds a little like a ‘Cinderella story’ but it actually occurred, was very real in my body and it was revealed on that day with very good reason.
For me, I absolutely enjoy clothes: I enjoy the idea of dressing up and playing with different looks and especially how I feel when trying on different clothes. Dress-ups was one of the fun things to do with friends as a young girl. It’s a definite way for me to express ‘me’ and how I feel about me. It’s the relationship with the elements of the outfit, the connection to me and process of putting it all together that I love.
For many years I may not have dressed so flatteringly or expressed through my clothing who I truly was, but recently this has been changing. As I started loving myself more, my style and clothes changed. And my wedding dress is an example where I had ‘nailed’ the perfect dress and look for me on that day. Every part of finding the dress was divine and it reminded me how important it is for me to focus attention on every single detail. I had a strong sense of who to take with me to find the dress and trusted her to support me in my style and in showing me appropriate places to look (as I had never really allowed myself to embrace looking for a wedding dress before).
My previous marriage was one where there was minimal or no planning. It was organised in one week because I was critically ill with cancer – that was the reason why that wedding was so rushed. The dress was found when driving past a shop and seeing it in the shop window. I looked beautiful in that dress, but did not feel totally gorgeous, full, amazing and divine in it – like how I felt and what I wore in my marriage to my husband now.
Back to my current wedding dress. It was found without a fuss and was the second or third dress I tried on. The accompanying belt, which really gave it that wow factor, was bought and partly handmade by me sewing in extra beads to give it that full, luxurious look.
What I learned in refashioning the belt was that my expression was different to someone in my life who had been influential about my clothing decisions. This point is important here because she was a dressmaker and I realised I had been influenced for a significant part of my life by her impression of ‘what looked good on me,’ which was always fine, but didn’t really allow me to look beyond fine, to take it a step up from that, to feel and look totally gorgeous. This is nothing that reflects adversely on her, just a reflection on her personal taste, how I was seen and how deeply I was prepared to connect to me.
The experience I had with the dress provided the impulse to how I would wear my hair, my makeup, the colour scheme, the type of hall, music played and the overall feel of the day.
The process showed me how important it was for me to take care of every little detail, no matter how small, and by doing this, everything was in place to support me to be all and everything I am. Attending to this detail was not about achieving perfection or to impress anyone, it felt very natural and was about bringing the care and attention to all the aspects so that love was there to be felt by all involved in the wedding. You see, it wasn’t just a day about my partner and I, it was about us all.
There was no concern whether the dress would fit or look okay as I knew this was the dress to support me on the day. This is an interesting concept about a dress supporting me to look my beautiful self as, funnily enough, I felt a real connection to this piece of material – we had a lovely relationship going on.
I would occasionally try the dress on and feel the deep connection to something inside myself each time, which was more confirming each time I tried it on. It was something in me that I knew so well but hadn’t allowed myself to really feel deeply for such a long time. It was something in me that I knew was uniquely me, was always there, but I hadn’t necessarily been listening to it as an important part of me. With this dress on, I gave myself permission to feel a deep connection to this exquisite place inside of me. I knew with all of my being that this was the quality I would walk in, and with, on my wedding day.
On the day of my wedding, I felt truly beautiful, sexy, full and gorgeous, something I had only experienced to that extent on a couple of occasions this lifetime. It showed me that it wasn’t necessarily the dress that allowed me to feel this expression, but the care I allowed in how my makeup was applied, in how I wore my hair, the shoes I wore, having my friends around me and the connection to my husband to be. But, most importantly, the love and connection to me I felt inside.
When all the details of the parts of my dress came together, I felt absolutely complete with nothing left unconsidered: tending to the parts made the whole absolutely exquisite.
I knew when I stepped out of the car I would be bringing something glorious and divine to myself, to all those present and to the world. I was bringing all of me, in all my divine beauty, joy and glory. As I stepped out of the car, I saw tears in strong men’s eyes and many women’s – not that they needed to cry but they were acknowledging how deeply they were touched by how I was and what I was reflecting to them – they could feel love, a deep confirmation of me in my essence and being a woman in the true sense. To me this was what bringing heaven to earth means, as I was walking towards my future husband. I felt how it is the greatest gift to the world when we bring all of us to whatever we do. There were some for whom this was too much and who reacted, but I now notice and have come to accept that this happens quite often as I claim more of me.
I walked up and met my future husband in all his glory, in his total and adoring love for who he was about to marry. We were a couple who were offering a true reflection of a woman being a woman and a man being a man, both in their essence. For it was not just I who tended to the details of my dress with deep consideration and appreciation of what I had to offer, for he too felt deeply into everything he wore on the day.
The dress showed me on that day the depth of my beauty and how powerful that felt inside of me, that anything was possible. Even more than that, this experience revealed how there was something so much grander inside to access, which was truly me, and it needed nothing from the outside. It also confirmed that when I have purpose and lovingly support myself in what is required, an amazing opportunity or space is there for me to be in my stillness.
This was not just a dress but something that represented so much more, supporting me to reconnect to a place inside of me that I can only describe as the ‘crown jewels.’ It is the sacredness inside of me that is also inside all women, a place that I would always like to be in deep connection with. This place holds incredible power, steadiness and focus, all exquisitely balanced with the most precious, delicate, divine beauty, with a stillness that can hold anyone or anything. This is what I would call being totally in love with myself, in my body or really ‘full’ in my body. On that day, I gave myself permission to go there, live it and walk it, which I am now doing more and more.
Now I have lived this, I know it’s there and I can live this every day if I choose. The fine attention to detail allowed the space to feel every aspect of the wedding in full and when I choose to honour this every day, it becomes a natural way to live each day. And if this is my future, I have everything to look forward to.
This experience showed me how my true essence rests so close to me, is waiting for me, and is so accessible. It’s all about the choice to allow myself to connect deeply within and surrender to that which is truly me, honouring who I really am and not being afraid of how I may appear to the world.
*My husband and I had two weddings and for the purpose of this piece, this experience relates to the first wedding.
Published with permission from my husband.
By Ulrike Paul, Lismore Heights, Australia. B Ed, EPA SEH, ECCT
Further Reading:
Developing a Relationship – with my Essence
Fashion styling – embracing and appreciating ourselves
The Ring from Out of This World
Love – the main event at a wedding
313 Comments
Imagine if every day we paid this amount of detail to the way we dressed and applied this amount of care and love – could it dramatically change the way we feel in our daily lives?
Absolutely gorgeous to read, thank you Ulrike.
Beautiful woman you are Ulrike – such gorgeous photos. I love your sharing of how your wedding dress represented your ‘crown jewels’, your sacredness. We can choose to dress with this innate knowing every day of our lives. I know how my dress sense has changed over the years as I feel more full of me.
“the connection to me and process of putting it all together that I love” the love in every detail of your connection to the beautiful woman you are shines through the dress and through your eyes.
What an amazing story, I really love the extent you went to, to make everything perfect for the day in every detail.Yep I know there is no perfection but it looked and sounded perfect to me.
There is perfection, it is just not an endpoint which would make it dead and contains imperfection to make it perfect.
I relate to how you describe loving the fabric and adding extra detail to the belt. I too used to make clothes so I can appreciate what you are saying here.
It sounds like you enjoyed every detail of your wedding day and that dress does look fabulous on you. I can see how you have embraced your beauty from within and how that shows in your smile and how you held your body on your wedding day.
Ulrike, this is a very beautiful article, it brings an appreciation to me of what we choose to wear and how confirming this can be for us.
We can have so much fun with our clothing when we are claimed within ourselves.
The importance of paying attention to every detail is being reflected in my own life right now. This blog is timely and inspiring.
“I was bringing all of me, in all my divine beauty, joy and glory” and the pictures confirm this Ulrike. To give yourself that depth of love and detailed attention shines through and we all feel your radiance.
Just about unimaginable and yet it is not – what sacredness and stillness bring to our every day, not just the special occasions. It is about a dress here but not just about the dress because claiming ourselves always starts within.
Ulrike looking at those photos, you looked absolutely stunning, your beauty is on fire!! “As I started loving myself more, my style and clothes changed” – how true is this, and for us all too!!
Thank you Ulrike, what your sharing says to me is no matter what others might say, no matter how they might react, no matter what pictures might come and attempt to get in your head, our job in this world is to continue to feel. Sometimes we are trapped in thoughts and need another’s help to get back and sometimes it’s up to us to stay solid with what we already know is a fact. Either way the true marriage we make and vow that we take is to honour and follow the impulse of our Soul. In our essence everything is clear and straight-forward, delicate and beautiful as the dress that you wore. True obedience we can see brings grace to all.
Expressing yourself in your fullness what a glorious gift for everyone to see and more importantly to feel and the joy that is so obvious in your lovely smiling faces. More than a gorgeous wedding dress most definitely, it is a wonderful inspiring example for us all in how we can embrace and appreciate our own inner-beauty and unique expression. -Thank-you Ulrike.
How we feel when wearing clothes makes all the difference to how we move, and then that connection, through our movements brings to us a way of living that is sustainable. As you have shared Ulrike, it is all waiting for us in our essence! “This experience showed me how my true essence rests so close to me, is waiting for me, and is so accessible.” So our essence is connected to by our movements, which can be affected by how we feel when wearing clothes that are true for us.
Ulrike this was so beautiful to read and I also had tears when I felt through your words and photos the fullness you let out as a woman. We all do have this and we need to share our experiences of how we reconnected to this and started to let it out. Imagine a world filled with women expressing their fullness like you have Ulrike – wow!
Ulrike, you take us on the most divine journey of your experience and I could feel the absolute truth of what you share and the power of choosing to bring every little detail in, and with each detail, more and more of you was confirmed and felt. You reflected so naturally the true power of a woman’s sacredness. A truly gorgeous sharing.
‘On the day of my wedding, I felt truly beautiful, sexy, full and gorgeous, something I had only experienced to that extent on a couple of occasions this lifetime. It showed me that it wasn’t necessarily the dress that allowed me to feel this expression, but the care I allowed in how my makeup was applied, in how I wore my hair, the shoes I wore, having my friends around me and the connection to my husband to be. But, most importantly, the love and connection to me I felt inside.’ I can only imagine that there must be very many brides who could not say this about their wedding day. By the time the ‘day’ has arrived brides and family and friends are often exhausted and only just manage to get through the day on nervous energy. It is so lovely to feel the joy and the fullness with which you approached the day which allowed for the blossoming of the sacred woman and celebrate being married to the man she loves.
This is very inspiring and I would definitely bring so much more detail to my wedding day on reflection. I was one of the brides you mention Lyndy, exhausted, anxious and at the whim of what everyone else wanted from the day… not necessarily what my husband and I felt to have and do. A great learning and a beautiful reminder of what everyone misses out on when we come with anything less than our fullness.
What a beautiful blog Ulrike, and what a stunningly beautiful and sacred bride! And what a gorgeous man. I can so feel the love that is there and the exquisite care that was taken with every detail, whether it be the adding the extra beading or taking the space to acknowledge the beautiful relationship between yourself and the dress and its material. And wow what a dress! Very sexy and feminine wit the absolute loveliness of the soft pink roses.
We often hear of brides being feminine but not necessarily sexy because of the connotations we have of the word sexy. It is a wonderful feeling to feel truly sexy and what a day it will be when the word is felt in it’s true sense, by many.
This is really beautiful Ulrike, I love what you have shared. You do look stunning and so does the dress but it is not just the dress that makes it, it is how you are and how you wear it that makes the whole package and photo shine!
Yes Rosie, I think it’s the 80/20 rule. 80% you or me, how we live from our essence and 20% the dress. However, many people think it’s the other way around – 80% the dress, but one will never truly radiate and shine coming from only 20% of their essence.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It is really beautiful to hear how a dress can be so confirming of everything that you have lived up until that moment. Usually, women look for a dress to complete them, but in this instance, the dress is simply a compliment to all that you are living. So gorgeous.
Ulrike thank you for sharing this glorious blog about your Divine Wedding Dress. I was fortune enough to see you wearing it at the second wedding celebration and you looked absolutely stunning and everything you have written about yourself and the dress here is true. Truly sexy and beautifully womanly –deeply reflecting your sacredness.
I totally second that, Stephanie. I too was at the second celebration and i was completely blown away by the beauty, joy and love Ulrike and her husband radiated for all.
What is truly gorgeous here is that the beauty, joy and love was felt by everyone there and the more we were those things, the more we mutually received wholeheartedly.
Yes that is what is truly inspiring, when we allow ourselves to be and walk in all the love and beauty we are it touches and brings out these qualities in us all. These moments are worth celebrating for sure.
Thank you for an awesome read in how anything we wear has the potential to confirm us in all our beauty and glory, when we feel this divinity in ourselves first. The photos show it all!
Where do I start Ulrike, I feel your exquisite, delicate and sacred essence in what you have written about your dress and your wedding and how you are sharing this with the world. Just like your dress there is an attention to detail and love for all in every word. Thank you so much for bringing all of you, like you say. in all your divine beauty, joy and glory.
Yes so beautiful, there is such a deep honouring and love that is felt in every word, and this we are when we allow ourselves to be and connect with our essence. Thank you for bringing it Ulrike.
You need to change the portrait photo it’s not the same person anymore. The joy of you been you just radiates out thank you and I can understand why grown men were brought to tears .
Thanks for sharing Ulrike, it is very powerful. No wonder it was hard to get past the first photo of you to actually read the blog!
Agree Nikki I had the same experience….. so love Ulrike’s divine beauty
This was perfect for me to read right now as this year for me seems to be all about honouring, deepening and surrendering to me to the love that is within. For too long I have turned the other way or resisted it .. no longer. ‘It’s all about the choice to allow myself to connect deeply within and surrender to that which is truly me, honouring who I really am and not being afraid of how I may appear to the world.’ Exquisite to read and something that I am sure will help support many women and men that are getting married.
Beaming the jewel that you truly are – that is how we ought to be with ourselves and with the relationship we have with all that we place of us in terms of clothing, make-up etc. It all starts from the quality we claim from ourselves that comes from within us – and then whether we wish to extend this quality to something to share with the world. Then how we dress changes entirely in quality. Far from it being something functional we do, or something to show off and hide in at the same time, it is an anointment of ourselves to bring the inner jewels out for all of humanity to see.
And for me now, there is no other way – how can there be when we have connected to so much glory in the act of simply dressing ourselves?
Thank you for sharing this Ulrike, in all its detail. It is very tangible how the care and attention to detail you allowed for your dress is the nurturing care you bring to all of your life. Have you ever considered becoming a wedding planner?
This does highlight to me that more needs to be written about such a glorious experience so women and men know there is another way..
It is rare that a woman chooses and succeeds in putting out of the way the pictures of how to be and allows herself to truly celebrate her glory by bringing love, appreciation and care to every detail of what eventually is the expression of her innate beauty and being the woman that she is. This is such an inspiration and true role modeling.
Beautifully said Alex, it is rare indeed for a woman to get those pictures of how to be out of the way and allow true expression of herself anytime really, but especially in relation to a wedding. They are so steeped in ideals and beliefs about how they should be, and so much is imposed from close family and friends in most cases that it can be very difficult for the bride to feel clear about exactly what it is she likes and wants, let alone knowing what is deep-down true for her and being able to honour that.
What Ulrike shared is inspiring absolutely.
‘God is in the detail’ it is said and so why wouldn’t we want to take care of it? What you are sharing here is the level of detail we can go to and how confirming and beautiful it is when we do.
‘I felt how it is the greatest gift to the world when we bring all of us to whatever we do.’ – Everytime we hold back who we truly are, by checking out and not being fully present or by fear of how it will be received, everyone misses out, ourselves included.
Ulrike Paul the dress you wore is very beautiful and compliments your graceful beauty.
My body is asking me to take more care of every little detail and not too rush or go into the doing to get something done. and I was again shown by the reflection of a client I had a meeting with his movements were slow and deliberate and I found myself getting impatient until I realised what I was being shown there is no need to rush through life I can take it at a slower pace and the world won’t fall apart if I slow down and take care of the details as it is the details that make up the day as a whole.
Every time I look at the photos of you on your wedding day I am blown away by the deeply gorgeous beauty that you emanate. You are one of the most stunning brides I’ve ever seen, not just because it was your wedding day but because everything that you are and represent was with you and shining for all to see and feel. Now that is cause for celebration!
I agree Aimee. There is a timelessness and exquisiteness that Ulrike exudes in all of her photos and overtime I see the photos, she is even more and more beautiful.
Thank you Aimee, I felt amazing as I was connecting to that preciousness deep within and allowing it out for the world to see. Absolutely no holding back and totally enjoying being with me in all my glory..
I agree Aimee. When I take in these photos of Ulrike I am blown away by her beauty and her love as she allows the world to see how grand and stunning she is.
I agree, Aimee, it took my breath away to feel the absolute joy and the way Ulrike is glowing in the knowing and claiming of all that she is, her exquisite beauty emanating from inside out.
I have noticed and really appreciated how naturally both my children, a boy and a girl , dress themselves and how they just know what clothes and colours to put together to really express who they are. We all do possess this ability to express ourselves when we feel free to do so without any interference from outside of us.
That sounds as a beautiful imprint to start your marriage life with. A true foundation to built on and expand. Congratulations to you both.
I love how you show that how we dress in and of itself, doesn’t necessarily connect us to our deep beauty and sacredness within, however if there is an absolute honouring of ourselves and every detail in the process of choosing what to wear, our clothes can support us to connect more deeply to our natural qualities and provide us with the support to express them. This marker stays with us for us to continue to deepen, whether or not we wear the same clothes again.
I loved that bit at the end with it being the same dress. So often we can think that if the outside is different then it’s all good but the fact is we can have the same dress, same body, same life and yet it can feel so much more and different based on how we are and what energy we are connected to.
I can look in the mirror and self-critique or look in the mirror and feel full and abundantly gorgeous whether or not I am wearing the same outfit on both occasions. The key difference in each instance is the level of connection I have with myself at those times. The more connected and surrendered to my essence the more lovely and beautiful I feel – what I see in the mirror simply confirms my inner feeling.
So powerful Leigh, it’s all about the energy first…the dress can only support what is already there.
It’s only when we start to claim our full and unrated expression that we can have the perspective to realise how fooled we are by other people impositions/ likes or dislikes – I find this especially with fashion.
What is mind boggling here (or not so) is that it is not only other people’s opinions but many things in society generally. For instance, things such as advertising, movies, cultural norms, religion, fashion etc etc. affect us greatly, unless as you say we are claimed in full and we live from that place.
I would like to add to this Rachel as in my experience it was me who was fooling me into thinking I was ‘fitting in’ by taking on wearing whatever I deemed suitable in the role I was playing at the time, rather than expressing myself in full despite what others may think of me.