I have been growing up with my children for the last nine years and they have shared so much ‘magic’ with me and they are part of the reason that I have learned to trust, love and open my heart up to humanity in a deeper way.
There is a contradiction that I have often encountered as I have learnt to parent concerning what is called ‘The magic of childhood.’ Many of us seek to give our children an experience of magic in their lives but why is it we seek to deliver trips to Disneyland, are not honest about who brings presents and queue up for hours to meet a Father Christmas in a shopping mall etc.
This has got me pondering why, as parents, we so easily fall into the behaviours of the generations before us and knowingly perpetuate the cultural myths of the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas etc. as if there is no other way of bringing up our children?
The so called ‘magic of childhood,’ such as the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas, pale into insignificance when we allow ourselves to appreciate the moments of true connection and joy that can be shared with one another.
The ‘magic’ of Christmas, Easter bunnies, birthdays, is big business, and many of us can feel the pressure to get the right present, to have everything perfect for these events in the year. And while it is fantastic to stop rushing around, spend quality time with people around us, have a party or share a meal, as parents is it possible that we can be somewhat reliant on cultural mythologies and savvy marketing campaigns to bring an element of ‘magic’ to our children’s lives –– but what are they really experiencing?
Could it be that ‘magic’ is right there in front of our eyes in all moments, at all times of the year? And if so, what is magic – and do our birthdays, Christmas Day or any of our cultural icons have anything to do with it?
What do we do when our child asks, “Did you buy this for me?” concerning a present under the tree, or when they are uncooperative one day and we decide to bring out the, “Be good or Santa won’t be coming” story… Do we consider what we are bringing into our relationships with our children when we do not respond to them with honesty? Could the words we choose to answer with, if not honest, actually begin to degrade the very sense of magic, wonder and joy that is naturally alive within every child?
I suggest that appreciating magic in our lives has a lot to do with appreciating the gold that is in our lives on a daily basis and being as open, sincere and honest as we can be in our relationships.
Feeling a sense of magic in life is very much about nurturing and keeping alive the innocence, sensitivity and openness that children are born with and which, potentially even into adulthood, we can maintain.
Is it possible that magic is everywhere – it just happens that we keep getting distracted by a false light because it comes with glitters and sparkles? Could that ‘false light’ be flashing at us like false advertising on a neon sign…. selling us short-term solutions and investments when it comes to the ‘magic’ of life, rather than us having to look with honesty at the cynicism, reactions and hard shells that we develop as we grow into adults?
Are we already clouded by a cultural idea that thinks that we can not maintain and live with a wonder and magic of life at any age? Is it truly a natural progression in life to not feel magic and become cynical as we mature?
When we reflect on our experiences, it is our relationships and moments of connection that have true meaning – not what we buy, do or have.
What maintains and supports a knowing and sense of innocence and magic in a child’s life (something we all know at the birth of a child) is when they feel they are seen for who they are and appreciated and accepted.
- Knowing that if they have a question to ask, they will know that their parents will answer that question with honesty, to the best of their ability.
- Knowing that if the world gets tricky and slippery, they have some open and loving arms to come to and be held in.
- Knowing that when their parents make mistakes, they can apologise.
- Knowing that they were born more than enough, and they never need to seek anything outside of themselves to prove who they are.
- Knowing that their parents are role-modelling letting go of their ‘stuff’ so that together they can be more loving, because living with love is more important to them than holding on to any ‘stuff.’
- Knowing that if they feel something that is not true, their parents will support them to honour what they have felt.
- That when they look up, and look at their parents straight in the eye, they connect and are with them in full – to the best of their ability.
The magic of childhood does not need to leave us in adulthood. It is felt through the quality in which we live every day, which can include:
- The knowing of the true light that shines bright within every one of us when we connect with each other.
- Exploring the oneness, wonder and expanse of the universe.
- How Love can be felt and lived.
- Appreciating ourselves and one another.
- Being aware of the natural order expressed in nature: the signs, symbols, connections and synchronicity of life. I observe this daily in the branches of a tree (how each one has its place in balance), the shape and texture of a flower’s petals, the people I have around to reflect something to learn and appreciate, the rainbow in a raindrop, the light changing throughout the day, a full moon, observing the cycle of night and day and raising my head and taking in the stars.
Being open to the wonder and magic of life as an adult is a way of role-modelling the quality we so seek to sustain within our children.
This is where, as parents, we have the opportunity to be a true role model, to live in the quality that supports our children, inspiring them by how we live responsibly and with care for our own health and wellbeing; by appreciating what is reflected in life and learning from it, with the understanding that this underpins everything we do and say. The old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” is something that many parents are familiar with, but the thing is we are all hypocrisy radars and sniff out inconsistency before a word has been spoken.
There is magic all around us, at all times. It can be felt and it can be lived in the smallest interaction through honouring what we feel and appreciating ourselves and others. We all have the power to choose to commit to building a life with more consistency and care. It takes commitment but it is so enriching, nurturing and joyful to explore true magic throughout the year, rather than being reliant on what is sold to us seasonally or keeping it for so called ‘special’ occasions – whether it be appreciating what the seasons reflect to us, being aware of bird song, how the sky changes, a sunset, bringing nature into the home with flowers, the sparkle in someone’s eye, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your back.
By the way, this does not mean a life desolate of dressing up, gifts, rituals and playfulness. Parties can still be planned and enjoyed and the changing ages, cycles and seasons marked and celebrated. Life has so many moments to mark, confirm and enjoy, be it coming together for a meal, allowing our bodies to rest as the day comes to a close, dancing together, appreciating our relationships and expressing it, choosing a gift from a place of love and celebrating our lives as they unfold through the years.
When it comes to parenting, what will our children reflect upon when the years have passed? In this world that can be at times chaotic, cynical, dishonest, unloving and scary, could it be that there was a beacon of light and consistency, a parent without perfection that honoured who they are, truly listened and was honest with them? A parent who shared the wonder of how life and nature reflect back to us who we are?
How would this prepare a child for adulthood while holding and nurturing that light of true magic within?
Just take a moment and look into a child’s eyes without expectation or a guard. Be open to the love and light that resides within (if you don’t have a child near you, it works just as well with an adult). See that sparkle and light shine and you will know there is true magic right there… within us all.
By Anonymous.
Further Reading:
Building true relationships and positive parenting
Do Our Kids Want a ‘Better’ Life or a ‘Connected Life’?
Leave the stuffing for the Christmas turkey
451 Comments
Hypocrisy is one of the worst things we can do as parents, guardians, teachers or any kind of role model, because it’s impossible to set an example for someone if in ourselves we do not live this example and reflect that it’s possible.
A great reminder of the magic on offer when we bring parenting back to the simplicity of connecting with and appreciating children for who they truly are.
‘What maintains and supports a knowing and sense of innocence and magic in a child’s life (something we all know at the birth of a child) is when they feel they are seen for who they are and appreciated and accepted.’ We have to get ourselves out of the way and cherish and support with letting the divinity come out what is inside every child.
Great reflection on the magic that is there when we connect with ourselves and each other and how this is open to us all at any time.
And it’s so gorgeous how at anytime we can reconnect to this and take the steps to love it, embrace it and allow it to be in our lives in full. It is so refreshing to see and feel an adult and ever an elder adult bring the magic and beauty, that we more commonly see expressed in children, to life.
‘Feeling a sense of magic in life is very much about nurturing and keeping alive the innocence, sensitivity and openness that children are born with and which, potentially even into adulthood, we can maintain.’ True and the sparkle, the magic is always there, the thing we have to do is connect to a light, playfull and loving way of life, entering the wisdom of our body, a relfection of the universe.
Our trussed up, reconstituted version of wonder is a greatly reduced representation of the real thing.
‘Feeling a sense of magic in life is very much about nurturing and keeping alive the innocence, sensitivity and openness that children are born with.’ It’s a joy to behold and watch children in this way of expression. I have to say that spending a lot of time with them ‘rubs off,’ as the expression goes and I find myself re-connecting to my innocence, sensitivity and openness.
We never bought into ‘junk magic’ when my kids were young. One parent baled me up one day and accused me of child abuse because I wasn’t stimulating my children enough. My eldest was 4 years and her siblings were 3 and 18 months at that time and played contently using their own imaginations. As I look back on their young years, as they are adults now, I can see that the games they were playing were preparing them for the work they do today. We never had heaps of toys or pretended there was a Santa Claus, a tooth fairy or an Easter bunny and never even bought into fun parks, movies, junk food or sweets other than fruit or any such stimuli and that was over 30 years ago.
The fact we create make-believe stories that present a false version of how life is, is an indictment of how far removed we are as a society from the everyday magic of simply living in true connection to ourselves and others.
And it shows us how the quality of life has dropped significantly when a ‘fairytale’ is the pick me up. Fairytales do not hold magic in them compared to that of our multidimensionality when we connect to our inner heart. But when we don’t then the fairytale is the lesser wonder we have tended to fall back on and even corrupt the magic of our children with – when instead we could just be connecting to them and their beauty and confirming their magic. Perhaps a child’s magic brings up too much stuff for an adult and it is more comfortable for adults to pretend in order to not feel what they have once left behind.
Great point Janet, I agree and I too feel this is the reason why we have these made up stories and lies in society. It is an attempt to put some spark back into life but this spark is a false one that hurts us and not confirming for us at all.
“When we reflect on our experiences, it is our relationships and moments of connection that have true meaning – not what we buy, do or have” – absolutely and because without connection, the emptiness in that gift, purchase, is most certainly felt.
When I reflect on my childhood the moments that have fondly stayed with me are the ones of true connection, of warmth, of play and of being in the moment with another.
How many times are children given gifts/toys and have more fun playing with the box?
So important to maintain that sense of magic through our lives… its always there, unchanged and blemish free in the world around us. Its us, and our reaction to our experiences that tarnishes the shine and makes it hard to find in our everyday… and so we create stories that are just a distant echo of the true magic all around us.
Discriminating between pandering to the ‘dishonest’ and superficial moments of ‘the magic of childhood’ to appreciating the magic in our lives, as you present, is a most wonderful and enhancing approach to preparing children for adulthood.
A truly magical sharing filled with deep wisdom.
“Just take a moment and look into a child’s eyes without expectation or a guard. Be open to the love and light that resides within (if you don’t have a child near you, it works just as well with an adult). See that sparkle and light shine and you will know there is true magic right there… within us all”.
Is there magic in running around really stressed buying presents that we often can’t afford because it is the seen thing to do to give to the children in our lives at the end of the year or buying so much chocolate (which is a poison to the body) that it is all around the house for days if not weeks, because it is the ‘seen’ thing to do! It would seem this is madness rather than magic!
‘Just take a moment and look into a child’s eyes without expectation or a guard. Be open to the love and light that resides within (if you don’t have a child near you, it works just as well with an adult). See that sparkle and light shine and you will know there is true magic right there… within us all.’ I love this, child or adult we all, hold the same inner light and when you look into the eyes of a young child there is no getting away from the way it sparkles.
The sparkles are always there; we only need to connect with them.
When there are children coming into our lives to my experience we are asked to be more in line with the magic they at birth are living with. It is up to us as an adult to not destroy this magic like as possible has been done to us, but instead to cherish and nurture it to the best of our ability to allow this magic to grow up in adulthood. How then would the world look like if everybody would live the magic life in truth is. It definitely would be a completely different world the all the abuse and atrocities we see nowadays will be exposed for the falsity of it and by that realisation will stop to exist.
Could it be that we bring in the fake magic because we have lost connection with the magic that life naturally already is?
Maybe instead of trying to force feed our children some make believe magic we should stop and observe the natural innocence and wonder and magic that children know so innately and be inspired by that to rediscover our own soulful magic.
Well said Andrew as children can be a great inspiration and certainly a beautiful reflection.
Thank you for the reminder that magic is all around us and most importantly within us.
We have made ‘magic moments’ something special but all the while missing out on the true magic that is there in every moment.
I love what you are sharing. I can feel that children feel so much magic naturally. Just picking up a stone that looks sparkly or playing with sand or water is magical to children and that a false idea of magic, such as Father Christmas and the tooth fairy, is not needed.
Yes, we are actually robbing ourselves of the beauty that is around us and we natural feel in sync with.
We’re all rushing about looking for a better life, but when we stop, feel and connect magic is just so there. It’s almost too much for us to take – so readily available it is.
‘Just take a moment and look into a child’s eyes without expectation or a guard. Be open to the love and light that resides within (if you don’t have a child near you, it works just as well with an adult). See that sparkle and light shine and you will know there is true magic right there… within us all.’ I love this, child or adult we all, hold the same inner light and when you look into the eyes of a young child there is no getting away from the way it sparkles.
We rush around and then we rush our children around from excitement to excitement without a moment to stop, connect and just be with them, we fill every gap. We have all seen when children are at their most content playing with a cardboard box, string, water or something else incredibly simple and yet we insist on all this stimulation from activity to screen to activity, it’s no wonder that children are finding it hard to focus at school on what they need to learn and are finding life a struggle, I would be exhausted too if I had so much stimulation in my life.
Oh how I love the wisdom of an innocent kid.
Yes, I have been parenting my inner child for some time, I am bringing myself back gently, learning to be understanding, supportive, beholding, gracious, sweet with myself, you can not shift and heal yourself or anyone else with a hardline forceful approach, this is all will and control not true healing. True healing surrenders, yields and transforms from love.
“living with love is more important to them than holding on to any ‘stuff.’” Just this one take away, confirming that love is a primary purpose within the family, is enough to have our children grow up and contribute to every aspect of life knowing that relationship comes first and foremost – Their relationship with love/God.
A point of inspiration today that magic is an every moment, every day thing, not confined to particular days of the year or events. Magic -i.e that connection that confirms us as being part of something much greater than ourselves, and with that, brings a feeling of settlement and joy, is all around us, all of the time. We just have to have our eyes open enough to see and feel it.
Ah yes, our whole body open to noticing it.
As the magic of life is our natural allowing this into our lives makes us to feel very settled.
Lovely writing and very relatable. Parenting is hard work, there’s no doubt about that. But raising a child with integrity and honesty is something I feel absolute about. Yes this means no Father Christmas, but it does mean an honest relationship with my children.
In having kids in the first place we are saying yes to the responsibility of being a role model for the rest of our lives.
And do we set the model based on our own innate wisdom, truth, magic inside… or do we sell the same role model as the rest of the world that is so clearly failing?
Disney’s aim is to bring back the magic – maybe that’s why so many adults like to go.
Thank-you , i really welcome this opportunity to unpick the value and purpose of traditions such as Santa Claus, tooth fairies and the Easter bunny. In the unpicking its clear to see our investments and attachments as parents, do we seek to make life better by making it more fantastical and imaginative?
Through the shield of our own issues and hurts do we seek to protect and cosset our children from the world?
I spent 7 years at boarding school and then ventured to art college in London aged 18, I remember feeling totally cheated and angry with myself & my parents because I had allowed myself to be hidden from humanity.
It is such a false magic though isn’t it. That is the complete irony that rather than connecting or re-connecting to the absolute innate magic and beauty within and all around us we ‘create’ something that could not be further away from the truth! On reflection not only is it irony but also such arrogance thinking that we can create something that is the same as the truth as well as exposing where we are at that we feel we have to do this i.e. not connected to our truth.
When we look into the eyes of a child (as with the child in the picture above), we cannot but see and feel the magic of God and the fact that we are from heaven.
What a great exposure on the fact that we often create this false magic when the truth is there is incredible magic, joy and wonderment all around us.
In the end what counts is always about relationships and connection with others. The quality, joy and level of intimacy make life magical.
I work a couple of days a week with children who have not grown up with much magic in their childhood, in fact very little at all. While you can see and feel the ‘scars’ they carry, when you put them together with other children in similar circumstance and a variety of things to play with, it’s not long before they are making their own magic which is the most wonderful sight to see.
What a gift – connecting to the true magic within which has it’s own sparkle which will never dull.
Reading this article I can feel how we so often take on traditions, such as the tooth fairy and Father Christmas and we can do this without questioning whether this will be supportive for our children or not.
This is a great question; ‘This has got me pondering why, as parents, we so easily fall into the behaviours of the generations before us and knowingly perpetuate the cultural myths of the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas etc. as if there is not other way of bringing up our children?’ I can feel that we carry on traditions without really questioning them and whether they are supportive for our children or not. It is very unusual to not keep up the myth about the tooth fairy and Father Christmas and from my experience it is actually look down upon if we tell our children the truth that these are stories and not in fact true.
A truly beautiful sharing of the magic within us all and all around reflecting this to us so simply that we often forget to see the awe in every moment that is here to be felt from within. Children are an amazing reflection for us with the simplicity and wonder in their eyes and all they say are and see and how deeply beautiful to be brought up with this honouring of who we are.
It is awful to feel the full effects on all of us keeping these lies going. When my children asked me if these figures were real or not I told them the truth. They really wanted to know but once they did they wanted to go back to not knowing because Christmas and Easter wasn’t going to be the same without the fanfare and excitement. It really gets in more than what we realise and I feel it’s where we may start gauging what we want to be aware of and what we want to stay blinded to.
It’s amazing but understandable the lengths we go to, to inject magic into our lives. Given every moment is actually full of it, living avoiding this you are bound to feel empty inside.
It is such a beautiful thing to observe and be apart of when the magic of childhood is encouraged and allowed to flourish instead of being crushed by ideals and beliefs and the knock on effect of many generations, lack of true love in parenting.
Indeed and so the magic of adulthood is resurrected. I love this, the appreciation of being part of supporting this in children, but of course understanding that in doing so it is necessary to live this and connect with this for ourselves as adults.
“The old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” is something that many parents are familiar with, but the thing is we are all hypocrisy radars and sniff out inconsistency before a word has been spoken.”That is so true when I was young grown ups often did not do what they said and that made me confused and puzzled as I could not understand why things became so complicated. Therefore I love it if parents do what they say to the best of their ability – that could help that a child could be more trustful in themself.
“Being open to the wonder and magic of life as an adult is a way of role-modelling the quality we so seek to sustain within our children.” I absolutely agree that adults should be open to the wonder and magic of life that would not only help their children it also would help themselves and the world around them.
Yes, this is a beautiful reminder and your comment is too Monica. I love the appreciation and truth shared here. Also, you are revealing how magical and grand we all are.
I agree with you Shirley-Ann and I feel the illusion is deeply harming for our children and ourselves. I find there is always an agenda when anyone chooses to use lies to mask the truth. It is a sad and scary realisation just how much our society accepts these lies as being OK.
When my children were young, I went along with society’s norm and sold my children the Santa and tooth fairy story. At one point I realised how harmful this was by the look on my son’s face when he found out that Santa was a lie. I understand how confusing this must have been for our children when they find out about these lies because we often drum it into our children to never lie and to be absolutely honest, but we somehow justify that it is OK for us to lie to our children about Santa, tooth fairy etc. I realised how crazy this was and we stopped playing these games as a family years ago. Also, what I realise is that this form of lying has become so normal and accepted in our society. It is not loving in anyway but deeply harming to lie to our children or anyone for that matter.
I agree, it is harmful for everyone involved, even if it is so called ‘sugar coated’, there is no such thing as a lie that supports anyone. We do not need to tell everyone everything about our lives, but we do need work on being transparent and be responsive to what feels true and what needs to be said in the moment. If my children ask me a question, I am committed to answering as truthfully as I am able. This is in fact true regarding everyone I have conversation with, honesty first, what ever the subject or question. In this we all get to understand life more fully, heal, and develop a foundation of strength, steadiness and consistency. Lies are shabby for establishing a consistent foundation in life and relationships.
I first experienced Disney Land as an adult and I can tell you I was disappointed! I’d seen it hyped up all my life – adverts and films of children in wonder and when I saw how false it was and how desolate it was I felt crushed. Was this the best we could do to bring magic to the world? Since then I’ve found magic to be in everything in each day. Just the connection between smiles feels so joy-full, or seeing wildlife constellated for you to receive a poignant reflection, or a woods full of bluebells; it’s all there once I stop chasing a picture I’ve been sold of perfection.
Such a gorgeous article, thank you for sharing, that magic is all around us, and it is free, seen often in children but also it is there in everyone of us of any age, just waiting to be connected to and appreciated.
This is super interesting to look at.. why do we spend so much time trying to recreate the magic of childhood for children when they already see and experience the slightest, smallest thing like a stone or a puddle, as something full of wonder?
So true, a child brings that observational wonder to life. Lets learn and be inspired by them and respond accordingly.
Spot on. The lies we play along with in society to create the ‘perfect picture’ degrade the magic and awe that children naturally live, until one day we have grown into dulled adults who seek temporary highs to relieve the mundaneness of existence.
This is a great and worthy exploration. The true magic of childhood is nurtured by the refection of the very light within the child, emanating from the adults around them. For it is this reflection that says to the child – keep your light on – in a world that has for the most part plummeted into darkness. In this way we slowly resurrect ourselves out of the shadows and back into the glorious light of our true self, the Soul. Like the stars in the sky, we are constellated together to support each other through this process.
The false and deceptive so-called magic of Disneyland, Bambi, Ice Princesses, Father Christmas and the Easter bunny turn us into cynical and fatigued adults as we choke on the lies and the rip-off pushed down our throats.
I remember very clearly the day I found out that the big jolly round man in a red suit that sailed on a sleigh pulled by reindeer through the night air on Christmas eve and showered presents to all the children in the world below was not real… I was devastated. Not so much because he wasn’t real, but more so that I had felt the entire world had lied to me and I couldn’t understand why.
Looking back, I feel we fall for this fatherly image of Santa because deep down we each know and remember Thy Father (God, the Universe, whatever you want to call him) whose real name is Sanat Kumara, and so I am sure it is no accident here that ‘Santa’ is an anagram of Sanat. Yet another example of how, when we do not hold true to our innate divinity, we allow ourselves to fall for the many imposters we are sold in place of this.
We can stumble in to this lie as parents, some how forgetting the pain of the deceit that we encountered as children, thinking we need to make it better for our children. We think it is a game to play, a tradition, but yes lets look deeper and really consider why it is set up in such a way that children feel like the whole world lied to them and they where the only one out of the game?
A young child has more magic than Disney can ever muster. I wonder if Disney is so successful because it evokes the memory of true experiences we had as young children?
This is such a huge sharing – the fact that we have confined magic to key events in the year when in fact magic is accessible all of the time. In having these key events we are already teaching our kids that some things are more important than others. Is that truly how we want them to grow up?
Yes, Jane, real life is so much more magical than fairytales when we open our hearts to others.
I love this article. Reading this confirms to me how very beautiful it is to be honest with my son. I love that he can trust me and know that whatever he asks I will be honest with him.
I was just speaking to a grown man yesterday about what happens to the magic we all know from childhood, so your blog is very timely. Thank you, for the reminder that magic is always there waiting if we let go of our hurts and open up our hearts again.
I agree Doug If we have lost that sparkle of feeling the real magic and joy in life and even given up on it even existing which happens to many adults who feel jaded by the world, then somehow we will try and compensate by creating a false contrived magic not realising that we are setting our children up to settle for far less than what is possible to be lived and enjoyed.
While sitting here in the garden writing comments a butterfly just landed on my left breast and stayed there: true magic right here on the spot. Who needs Disneyland or our Dutch ‘Sinterklaas’ if this is on offer?
Allowing ourselves to see the magic in everyday life and in every connection is true wealth and all we have to do is give ourselves permission to be aware of this again.
I love how you reveal and expose the ‘magic’ we seek to give our children comes in the guise of Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy and Disney is a poor imitation of the real deal, a false representation of the light that is naturally ours, naturally held within and the spark of dignity that we all are. There is so much to wonder at and be inspired by the richness of the universe, the flow we are naturally part of… there is true magic here to be uplifted by.
Great blog and a much needed conversation. There is indeed magic everywhere in every day life when we open ourselves up to truly love and be loved.
I remember the magical moments in my childhood and they had nothing to do with “special” days or presents etc. They had to do with moments when I felt seen and loved for who I am, moments like my Mum bending down to talk with me, or Dad bringing me a rose from the garden when I was grumpy.
I went through life seeing symbols that felt not so good .. but since I am connecting to the love within I now see love hearts shaped in all sorts of objects around me — proof the magic we see resonates from the magic within.
This is really beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I loved reading this today.
Oh I dearly love the reflection of children in my life, and I love the reflection of childlike transparency in some adults that I meet. You are quite right it is living magic 🙂
It’s like children (and adults) getting to know that the magic comes from our inner connection rather than external ‘prizes;’ and how much of our inner world determines out external responses?
The absolute equalness between the parents and children I feel in your list is just so stunningly beautiful. Yes, together we grow.
I remember around aged 10 or so really feeling the falseness of the way Christmas was celebrated. Behind the sparkle, the presents and the vast quantities of a good meal I could feel a flatness, the same old underlying issues within my family and how the whole festival was a distraction from this.
Yes, I remember being 16 and my parents doing a perfect Christmas, genuinely so but all I could – to my surprise – feel was an aching emptiness.
Flatness is a great description, I have had this sense around Christmas, it never in fact delivers what it promises and every year we seek more food, presents and spectacle to make it even ‘better’…we can have a beautiful Christmas period when many of us are on holiday or off work for a few days, if we make it about relationships, community and connection.
‘Feeling a sense of magic in life is very much about nurturing and keeping alive the innocence, sensitivity and openness that children are born with and which, potentially even into adulthood, we can maintain.’ I couldn’t agree with you more!
I can to this day remember finding out Santa was not real – there was truly distress at having been lied to all that time and made to believe in something not true. What is this really setting our children up for, playing on there trust in us to deliver them the truth of life?
There is so much magic in nature, so much wonder and delight at the change of the seasons or a caterpillar to a butterfly, in laughing and cuddling together, in the daily interaction of life. If we can show this to our children they won’t need to look beyond real life for fulfilment and magic.
It’s as though we think we have to create magic – at Christmas, birthdays, holidays, etc and money has to be spent in order to have a ‘good time’ when true magic is found in simplicity and the most simplest of things. For me every day, magic is when my daughter expresses truth, meeting the beauty when I make eye contact with my middle son and receiving a cuddle from my youngest son – so simple yet so profound.
Significant yes, ‘create’, I agree we do not need to create something that is already there within us and around us, and we never lose it, we just hide it under layers, but those layers can be discarded and children are a great role model concerning not walking around with layers of issues, protections, agendas etc they are very often who they are without hiding and this is beautiful to enjoy. So yes a question is where does this need for ‘making’ it magical come from, it may suggesti as parents we may have lost our way and do not have that connection with magic that is so profoundly abundant.
Our Children reflect us pure magic when we let go control of the relationship.
When we give them all the space to be beautifull And not project our stuff on them .
So practical and a beautiful option to the so called ‘magic of childhood,’ such as the trip to Disney World, Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas. To allow ourselves to appreciate and confirm each other in moments of true connection and joy mean these amusements and myths are placed into true perspective.
‘The so called ‘magic of childhood,’ such as the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas, pale into insignificance when we allow ourselves to appreciate the moments of true connection and joy that can be shared with one another.’ I have pondered on this often. The lies we tell our kids are our attempt to reawaken the ‘magic’ we feel is lacking in our own lives. But what if we were to truly connect to what is before us in our children? There is natural magic there that to me is so precious I simply couldn’t bring myself to corrupt it by lying to them. Only yesterday my children had me laughing hard simply because they were being their gorgeous playful selves. The gentle love and connection we were sharing was totally priceless.
Children naturally see that wonder and beauty in the world. It seems like that ‘childhood magic’ stuff is sold to the cynical adult under the guise of protecting that wonder that they already hold within. But it actually makes us grow up cynical once we work it all out it’s nonsense.
This blog oozes with gold. I love feeling the beauty and detailed wonder with which you describe nature. Described and felt this way it is actually a wonder why we settle for so much less in stimulation and distraction from a video game or theme park.
How glorious. I love this blog. Yes there is magic within us. There is no need to try to create it. We just need to nurture it and observe.
There is no greater magic than love!
Thank you for sharing and bringing the reminder that ‘There is magic all around us, at all times.’ The more we see and embrace this the more meaningful every relationship and every interaction becomes.
I love the photo that goes with this blog. To me that says it all ✨ Very powerful
It’s ironic when we think that as parents we are trying to bring magic into the lives of our children and yet they are already living a magical life. Could it be that it is the parents that want the magic back or want what they can feel the children have?
Wow you show us the way to experience the magic of life constantly. A magic that is often so clearly there when children are young. Our task as parents: to support children to stay connected to that magic that is in them.
It seems with all the added distractions of the world today we as parents need to really step it up as role models and express truth as much as possible. I have also learnt so much about love and life through being a parent and am always open to the universal wisdom that comes through our kids.
“In this world that can be at times chaotic, cynical, dishonest, unloving and scary, could it be that there was a beacon of light and consistency, a parent without perfection that honoured who they are, truly listened and was honest with them?” So beautifully expressed. As grandparents and teachers – in fact anyone who comes into contact with children – can do this too.
“This has got me pondering why, as parents, we so easily fall into the behaviours of the generations before us and knowingly perpetuate the cultural myths of the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas etc. as if there is no other way of bringing up our children?” A great question, when there is so much magic to explore in everyday life, as you point out.
I recall being devastated finding out there was no Santa…or rather that mum and dad were santa and it wasn’t that they were Santa, but what I was lead to believe was true was not true. And this has happened to countless children for a very long time.
The magic of God is forever with us, we simply have to be fully present with ourselves to feel it.
This is so true, it is not the Christmas Day celebration that brings us the connection we all desire, it is in the simple moments, a glance that catches another’s, and absolute appreciation of another, and oneself, a moment of stillness as feeling all that is around, with understanding, but most of all it is gracefully accepting all of life, without judgement.
No matter how a child behaves or an adult their essence of who they are is there for all to see. When we choose to see the magic and light in another first how can we react? We are then in a place of love to observe and deal with whatever arises addressing the behaviour and not the child or adult.
This blog deeply touches me… the profoundness and richness of life in its very simplicity, purely available to everyone without needing anything external to better it.
Me too, nothign external comes close to the gift we can give another when we come from the love that we are. Everything else in this world whilst being nice to have and receive is secondary.
Beautifully expressed, I love the simplicity that is shared here, appreciation is rich in magic.
There are only two qualities of light one is the light of love and truth and one is the light of fake love, the emotional love, we a times call the false light as it makes us do things that feels right, magic even but at the end appears to be empty and never fulfilling, tantalising to continuously to be on the look out for.
This is a really important point for us each to remember as we can be fooled by the light we want to see rather than be discerning and see the light that is there to be seen. Time reveals the truth of all but it is a wise person who learns to discern from feeling rather than seeing.
Magic is in every moment of every day as we consider that everything is energy, that we are divine beings in a human body moving in a world that is the creation of human and that this world we are given by God is constantly reflecting to us that we are so much more then we allow ourselves to believe. That is the magic world we live in, we only have to open our eyes for it to see it as the reality we live in.
Offering our children, the magic of the simplicity in life is a true marker of how they can remain grounded in a world that is so often pushing and pulling to elate and stimulate at every corner.
and exactly the same applies to adults!
Correct, how do we educate, raise, inspire children supports the adults they will become….Appreciating the simple details of life, the reflection of nature as we grow up can set a strong foundation for life. A foundation where we spend a lot more time in the present moment rather than seeking to be fulfilled by something outside of ourselves. You are on to something with this push to be stimulated and entertained, it is big business in our world and it enters childhood at a very young age, marketing is rife even for toddlers. However as adults we can choose how we interact with all of these things and how we support our children to navigate in life. I agree we as adults seek this simulation also, so as always if we can heal and resolve our own issues, we are true role models for others.
We have fallen for the sparkles and lights as we have got bogged down in the every day and have forgotten to look up at the stars above, smell the fragrance of nature or feel the warmth of the sun and the delicateness of a gentle breeze on our face. There are so many moments of my childhood that I remember fondly and they had nothing to do with what I was given as presents or clothes… I appreciated it but the moments I loved the most was when we played, danced, ate, and jumped on the trampoline together in our very own back yard. Connection is the greatest gift of all.
It is no wonder we get cut off from the magic that is all around us and in us when we get raised with the Tooth Fairy and Santa and so on. Which later turn out to not exist (if we did not know that already from the start…). This makes it seem that all the magic that we thought was there is not real and does not exist. If we would raise our children knowing that indeed there is magic in nature, in life generally then we learn it is consistent and always there for us to see.
You had my full attention with your first sentence, in fact with the first few words: “I have been growing up with my children for the last nine years…..”. I am sure I have never heard a parent share this as most of us have the belief that we are the grown ups and as such it is our responsibility to teach our children to grow up. But what if these beautiful little beings already have everything they need and the wisdom to live their own lives, and all we are there to do is to support them to retain, explore and expand on the wonderful beings they naturally are? Now that to me is where the magic begins.
A child is not a helpless ignorant being. A child is equal to an adult in essence and it is also a spirit in a small body. Children can be the one wanting all the fantasy and rejecting and in fear of true connection. The truth is true parenting is about expressing truth and love to our children, this responsibility is then lived in all sorts of ways possible in all the patience needed. But as parents first we have to come out of this illusion ourselves.
Well said Adele. Coming out of the illusion is not necessarily easy when the whole world seems to be trying to keep us in it but it is possible and how freeing and empowering it is. True magic is in us and all around us all the time ..it is for us to feel and live, reflecting and thus sharing.
We think of magic as singular moments where the unexpected happens and we don’t know how – but I’m beginning to see is that true magic sums up the alchemy that’s constantly at play in life, and in which we have a huge say. Magic is how supported we are when we align to Love.
I love what you share here Joseph – if we engage in and with the magic, the magic expands.