I have been growing up with my children for the last nine years and they have shared so much ‘magic’ with me and they are part of the reason that I have learned to trust, love and open my heart up to humanity in a deeper way.
There is a contradiction that I have often encountered as I have learnt to parent concerning what is called ‘The magic of childhood.’ Many of us seek to give our children an experience of magic in their lives but why is it we seek to deliver trips to Disneyland, are not honest about who brings presents and queue up for hours to meet a Father Christmas in a shopping mall etc.
This has got me pondering why, as parents, we so easily fall into the behaviours of the generations before us and knowingly perpetuate the cultural myths of the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas etc. as if there is no other way of bringing up our children?
The so called ‘magic of childhood,’ such as the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas, pale into insignificance when we allow ourselves to appreciate the moments of true connection and joy that can be shared with one another.
The ‘magic’ of Christmas, Easter bunnies, birthdays, is big business, and many of us can feel the pressure to get the right present, to have everything perfect for these events in the year. And while it is fantastic to stop rushing around, spend quality time with people around us, have a party or share a meal, as parents is it possible that we can be somewhat reliant on cultural mythologies and savvy marketing campaigns to bring an element of ‘magic’ to our children’s lives –– but what are they really experiencing?
Could it be that ‘magic’ is right there in front of our eyes in all moments, at all times of the year? And if so, what is magic – and do our birthdays, Christmas Day or any of our cultural icons have anything to do with it?
What do we do when our child asks, “Did you buy this for me?” concerning a present under the tree, or when they are uncooperative one day and we decide to bring out the, “Be good or Santa won’t be coming” story… Do we consider what we are bringing into our relationships with our children when we do not respond to them with honesty? Could the words we choose to answer with, if not honest, actually begin to degrade the very sense of magic, wonder and joy that is naturally alive within every child?
I suggest that appreciating magic in our lives has a lot to do with appreciating the gold that is in our lives on a daily basis and being as open, sincere and honest as we can be in our relationships.
Feeling a sense of magic in life is very much about nurturing and keeping alive the innocence, sensitivity and openness that children are born with and which, potentially even into adulthood, we can maintain.
Is it possible that magic is everywhere – it just happens that we keep getting distracted by a false light because it comes with glitters and sparkles? Could that ‘false light’ be flashing at us like false advertising on a neon sign…. selling us short-term solutions and investments when it comes to the ‘magic’ of life, rather than us having to look with honesty at the cynicism, reactions and hard shells that we develop as we grow into adults?
Are we already clouded by a cultural idea that thinks that we can not maintain and live with a wonder and magic of life at any age? Is it truly a natural progression in life to not feel magic and become cynical as we mature?
When we reflect on our experiences, it is our relationships and moments of connection that have true meaning – not what we buy, do or have.
What maintains and supports a knowing and sense of innocence and magic in a child’s life (something we all know at the birth of a child) is when they feel they are seen for who they are and appreciated and accepted.
- Knowing that if they have a question to ask, they will know that their parents will answer that question with honesty, to the best of their ability.
- Knowing that if the world gets tricky and slippery, they have some open and loving arms to come to and be held in.
- Knowing that when their parents make mistakes, they can apologise.
- Knowing that they were born more than enough, and they never need to seek anything outside of themselves to prove who they are.
- Knowing that their parents are role-modelling letting go of their ‘stuff’ so that together they can be more loving, because living with love is more important to them than holding on to any ‘stuff.’
- Knowing that if they feel something that is not true, their parents will support them to honour what they have felt.
- That when they look up, and look at their parents straight in the eye, they connect and are with them in full – to the best of their ability.
The magic of childhood does not need to leave us in adulthood. It is felt through the quality in which we live every day, which can include:
- The knowing of the true light that shines bright within every one of us when we connect with each other.
- Exploring the oneness, wonder and expanse of the universe.
- How Love can be felt and lived.
- Appreciating ourselves and one another.
- Being aware of the natural order expressed in nature: the signs, symbols, connections and synchronicity of life. I observe this daily in the branches of a tree (how each one has its place in balance), the shape and texture of a flower’s petals, the people I have around to reflect something to learn and appreciate, the rainbow in a raindrop, the light changing throughout the day, a full moon, observing the cycle of night and day and raising my head and taking in the stars.
Being open to the wonder and magic of life as an adult is a way of role-modelling the quality we so seek to sustain within our children.
This is where, as parents, we have the opportunity to be a true role model, to live in the quality that supports our children, inspiring them by how we live responsibly and with care for our own health and wellbeing; by appreciating what is reflected in life and learning from it, with the understanding that this underpins everything we do and say. The old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” is something that many parents are familiar with, but the thing is we are all hypocrisy radars and sniff out inconsistency before a word has been spoken.
There is magic all around us, at all times. It can be felt and it can be lived in the smallest interaction through honouring what we feel and appreciating ourselves and others. We all have the power to choose to commit to building a life with more consistency and care. It takes commitment but it is so enriching, nurturing and joyful to explore true magic throughout the year, rather than being reliant on what is sold to us seasonally or keeping it for so called ‘special’ occasions – whether it be appreciating what the seasons reflect to us, being aware of bird song, how the sky changes, a sunset, bringing nature into the home with flowers, the sparkle in someone’s eye, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your back.
By the way, this does not mean a life desolate of dressing up, gifts, rituals and playfulness. Parties can still be planned and enjoyed and the changing ages, cycles and seasons marked and celebrated. Life has so many moments to mark, confirm and enjoy, be it coming together for a meal, allowing our bodies to rest as the day comes to a close, dancing together, appreciating our relationships and expressing it, choosing a gift from a place of love and celebrating our lives as they unfold through the years.
When it comes to parenting, what will our children reflect upon when the years have passed? In this world that can be at times chaotic, cynical, dishonest, unloving and scary, could it be that there was a beacon of light and consistency, a parent without perfection that honoured who they are, truly listened and was honest with them? A parent who shared the wonder of how life and nature reflect back to us who we are?
How would this prepare a child for adulthood while holding and nurturing that light of true magic within?
Just take a moment and look into a child’s eyes without expectation or a guard. Be open to the love and light that resides within (if you don’t have a child near you, it works just as well with an adult). See that sparkle and light shine and you will know there is true magic right there… within us all.
By Anonymous.
Further Reading:
Building true relationships and positive parenting
Do Our Kids Want a ‘Better’ Life or a ‘Connected Life’?
Leave the stuffing for the Christmas turkey
451 Comments
Being open to the wonder and magic of life brings a lightness to life and I’ve found it has developed an appreciation for everything that is here to support us.
I can feel this too Rosanna – I had made life so serious and felt many things as a burden that letting go of this and reconnecting to the lightness in me and life feels liberating and an invitation to explore deeper.
In can remember those days when my children where young and we had ‘Sinterklaas’ in the Netherlands. As parents we all know it is a play, but make it for our children a reality. And what I felt afterwards in myself is that I wanted the excitement I had experienced as a child with ‘Sinterklaas’ to be equally available to my children too. But this was in complete neglect of all the moments I felt so disappointed when the event was over, but more so about the feeling of being tricked, lied about and treated as a little child in which the age old being was not respected.
Actually when I reflect back to my youth, being a child in my family, the moments that really stayed with me as they really mattered are the moments we were together just simply at a dinner or on an occasional day we went out for a trip. It is because of the warm connection that was there in those moments and which I, now 55 years later, still can feel in me because they where true.
As a Grandmother I see the wonderful magic that childhood brings to us all through simple connection and play. These innocent and simple games and observations children use teach us so much about life in an uncomplicated way .
And then you can feel it a lot, even at any time.
Compared to the magic that is available at any time, Christmas and other events pale into significance but we can still enjoy those festivities as many people are more open during those times and those times can be fun.
Yes Christoph, we simply have to enjoy the time being together but not succumb to the false images these so called special days are laced with as these images will never fulfil or sustain.
Children are such a wonderful reflection and reminders of who we really are. This essence is often concealed as an adult under a thin layer of ‘life”. I love to observe adults being silly, playful, spontaneous with kids and see their faces and hearts light up as they reconnect to the joy of life rather than the drudgery or stress many of us have settled for as the norm.
In our home the Christmas presents were brought by the ‘Christ child’ and announced by the ring of a little bell. Because we never got to see or hear the Christ child enter or leave the house I imagined it to be a kind of ball of light that swooshed in and out, not even associating the words ‘Christ child’ with Jesus or a person or anything human. It was only as an adult that the words actually started to get any meaning, but obviously the story made even less sense.
Wow! I never heard this version of the story. In our house I remember the year when my Dad put wellington boots in the fire ash and walked the footprints up the stairs to make it look more realistic, more magic. When I consider this now it is so clear where the intention behind this comes from. If we are not seeing and living the magic of God, then we feel the need to invent our own.
“…selling us short-term solutions and investments when it comes to the ‘magic’ of life, rather than us having to look with honesty at the cynicism, reactions and hard shells that we develop as we grow into adults?” Yep, undoubtably, and with a totally planned, marketing strategy to ensure we, as adults, do not re-connect back to the magic in life and that it leads to.
The magic that is so alive in our children when they are young is something that needs and deserves to be deeply cherished and nurtured, and not denied and dismissed.
Agreed Sandra and surely that magic does not need to end when we get older but merely get more expansive, something that is rare and in many ways unheard of but something that I’ve seen in Serge and others who live the true magic everyday.
What if instead of trying to provide a magical time for our children, we simply honoured the clairsentience, the awareness and the magic that they are innately in touch with and if allowed would express? And let our children be the reflections that support us reawaken those qualities which we have shut down in ourselves.
I fully appreciate the deliberateness in your starting words “I have been growing up with my children for the last nine years” – we grow immensely though the blessing of children, these words show me you hold them as equal, that between you you reflect the love that you are and learn and deepen your relationships from that; that the wisdom in their little bodies is as wise and as ageless as your own.
Very true Rosanna and what a blessing it is to allow our selves to continue to expand, grow and become more of who we are alongside our children, to share in the wonder of discovering and knowing who we are together. Pure joy!
I love being around children as they are so full of the magic of God that is so missing in this world of ours. That just to watch them skip around and play with such utter confidence and pure joy is a balm on my heart.
Equally, the magic of God lives within us and is around us. It is for us to connect to it so we inspire others in the same way we are inspired by children.
“Knowing that their parents are role-modelling letting go of their ‘stuff’ so that together they can be more loving, because living with love is more important to them than holding on to any ‘stuff.’ ” – showing them that there is no point in accumulating any ‘luggage’ but instead keeping things light or travelling light.
Life is naturally magical, the fact that so many of us have made it mundane is a pure reflection of how thoroughly we’ve trashed it.
Yes and how true intelligence is to come back to the simplicity we knew as a child before it was devalued by layers and layers of ‘must do’s.
Imagine a gift from someone that honours your beingness and appreciates your light, instead of feeling a duty to give you something special, that you are happy in the end. You will feel the difference immediately in your body. The magic between two people already lived, will have a gift as a result, that confirms this connection and nothing that needs to excite or entertain the other person.
You are actually taking children for a fool, if you talk with them about a tooth fairy or Santa Claus. It is a degrading and attack on their wisdom and clear sense. They know instantly that these things don´t exist, but get told the opposite all the time, because the parents think they have to offer something special. Maybe because ” everyone does it” sneaks in also. But what if “everyone” says yes to less awareness and it is time to change that and listen to the children’s widsom instead of entertaining someone who doesn´t want to be entertained?
We are falsely offering magic for our children in external things and events while we could offer children so much magic by reflecting the magic inside of us.
“Be good or Santa won’t be coming”, whilst my parents never used that one on me, at the age of six when I found out from my older sister that Father Christmas was a lie, I was mad firstly at my parents lying to me and secondly to the fact that I got taken in by the so-called magic, wonder and mystery of this story. Probably, in truth I knew deep down something about this didn’t add up and I felt so foolish for believing it. My first question back to my sister on receiving this shocking news was, ‘is God real’. I was relieved to hear that her answer was yes, but the whole situation made me really frustrated and cross with my parents and the colluding of everyone holding up the Father Christmas lie.
Interesting how the lying about Father Christmas by exposing its untruth, seeded forth mistrust. Through this creation of Father Christmas and the moment we as children then know that it is a lie- we get communicated as children that you cannot believe in higher forms of existences, like God. Isn´t that interesting, that this connection gets already tainted from young on through this manmade creations, like Father Christmas??
We Can use the Disneyland sparkles to cover up the fact that we have forgotten to shine our own light that can emanate from our body, which is of true support for the Children.
Great article. What you are sharing here feels really true; ‘When we reflect on our experiences, it is our relationships and moments of connection that have true meaning – not what we buy, do or have.’ looking back at my childhood it wasn’t the material things or the ‘big events’ that I remember Fondly, it was the play, enjoying being me and the connections with friends and family, this is what was important.
When we reconnect to all the glory of the Universe we become aware of the magic of God all around us – whatever age we are.
Rather than us as adults contriving and imposing our version of what we think magic is we should observe and listen more closely to the magic that children innately know and express.
A beautiful sharing and understanding of the real magic in our lives .”Feeling a sense of magic in life is very much about nurturing and keeping alive the innocence, sensitivity and openness that children are born with and which, potentially even into adulthood, we can maintain.”
Childhood is a great time to explore the magic of God as it is in everything we do. I remember so many times walking in the local woods with my daughter when she was a child and the games we played and the fun we had. We would walk for hours in the woods at the week ends with the dogs, we never got bored there was always so much to do and explore. To me this is the best childhood climbing trees, making camps, kicking up the fallen leaves in the Autumn, sliding down huge steep hills on our bottoms, squelching around in muddy puddles the list is endless and then coming home naturally tired from having so much fun. This type of childhood is lost to so many children who have been enticed/ encouraged to be so distracted by an electronic gadget forgetting what is on offer all around us.
The magic you speak about for children can only be imparted if parents feel this magic first in their lives and reflect it naturally. So parents perhaps First need to be parented before our children.
Wise words Adele, everyone wins when we connect to our essence and live this magic out into the world.
It is a travesty that so many people imagine a magical moment to be a pay rise, winning the lottery, fame, retiring or the next holiday. All to do with some perception of reward landing on our lap. Yet as this blog covers so beautifully life is abundant with magical moments when we choose to be open and engage with our All. We need to ask ourselves if we want to bring up the next generations to be in the same situation we are finding ourselves in our own lives.
I love the moments when the spark and magic of our ‘inner child’ light up and all seriousness and burdens are lifted and exposed for the self-chosen imposition they are. To share that with our children is a great joy.
What children can reflect to us daily is the choice we often make as adults to ignore that the magic and awe they experience is offered to all in abundance if we choose to.
True and we can always do more of it, there is freedom in apology, I have had this feeling in my body of a tightening in my chest, a resistance, which is pride, like we might get hung for admitting we made an error, or loose our so called position as parents…etc, but when we offer a sincere apology for what ever has gone on, what ever it is, speaking rough, not listening, rushing etc, then there is the opportunity to feel freedom, liberation, be a role model and heal.
“When it comes to parenting, what will our children reflect upon when the years have passed?” a great question, perhaps one I should embrace more and more but in truth it is merely the connection and love that we feel that is most important to us. Perhaps when we put that at the heart of raising kids we will have a very different generation, of course, we need to first have that with ourself.
Thank you for writing this very revealing blog about our search for magic via activities and holidays that in truth are void of any true magic. It confirmed for me my feelings as a very young boy (age 5) where I remember feeling the falseness and emptiness of what was being presented to me with Christmas celebrations and activities and all the expectations that the adults around me had in regards to how they thought I would or should respond to things like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and other holiday or birthday celebrations. In retrospect it was actually quite imposing and I remember feeling very sad during Christmas time because of what I felt and feeling that others were not seeing what I was.
It might be the lack of magic in the parent´s or adult´s life that they then try to substitute with the artificial false magic we make up, ie. the lies we create to crumble the mundaneness with some glitter. We need to re-discover and ignite the sparkle within ourselves and everyone else to reactivate the natural magic and children are a natural source of inspiration to do so.
Our wisdom may grow as we age, but it is also entirely present from early years.
Everything is magic when we are kids, we look at the world and it’s full of wonder and full of incredible things, the magic doesn’t disappear as we grow up we simply loose the ability to look at things with a fresh pair of eyes.
Parenting in this way means not only do we have the opportunity to be a true role model, to live in the quality that supports our children, inspiring them by how we live responsibly and with care for our own health and well-being, but also provides a reflection and the environment where other children receive and know this quality parenting too.
This blog should get published in a ” how to raise a child” book. My particles in my body got spacious whilst reading this, there is nothing more beautiful, than allowing someone else to be and supporting them in their magic to bring out and express it. Your children are very blessed with a woman that understands motherhood in a true way.
Already in the first paragraph you are exposing a great belief: yes, children have to relearn how to walk etc again but they are already super wise beings- having even more accessible wisdom than us adults, as they are much more connected their bodies and the divine still. We as adults do learn so much from children, if we but listen and ask. The moment we think they are just small we miss so much wisdom shared. It is never only a one way street, both parties learn constantly from each other.
Healing and love dominate our lives! Love that Ariana – sounds like a far more loving way to live.
Very cool magic is really within as you share so beautifully. I remember when my daughter was little at xmas and I told her straight there was no father xmas and this was something adults needed to do to try and bring back magic. We still do presents etc but she has always known the truth and the dishonesty at play. Last year was the last though as it didn’t sit well with me even with the light shining in it. As you say there is so much magic in and around us to deeply appreciate and change next to that no latest toy could ever compare.
It is so important to admit our mistakes and vulnerabilities, as being right for the sake of it does not hold another as an equal.
‘In this world that can be at times chaotic, cynical, dishonest, unloving and scary, could it be that there was a beacon of light and consistency, a parent without perfection that honoured who they are, truly listened and was honest with them? A parent who shared the wonder of how life and nature reflect back to us who we are?’ When we are open and enjoy life and then share this with our children they can’t but help be influenced by it. Children are naturally full of wonder and if the adults around them can share this wonder then it can’t be suppressed. The times when I feel most connected to my children is when we are sharing this magic!
I am sure if we knew what we were really doing when we said derogatory and demeaning words then we would never ever want to say them.
I love how children express those simplistic observations that so often expose the contradictions, complexities and hypocrisies we have allowed to creep into life as we age. What a gift to both adult and child it is when these observations are welcomed as it allows both generations a greater opportunity to address them without either needing to be right or wrong, just forth right and honest.
Trying to re-create the magic as an adult just goes to show how much we miss it, even though we see it as childish play we still want that feeling of being a child.
It’s true that we remember that feeling, we remember the magic and nothing ever feels quite right until we reconnect to it.
“The so called ‘magic of childhood,’ such as the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas, pale into insignificance when we allow ourselves to appreciate the moments of true connection and joy that can be shared with one another” – we make up such stories, or those stories appeal because in some way we want to escape and create a fantasy to layer over the fact that we already (do) know the true “fantasy” of ourselves in being magical and fantastic by natural design through our divinity and that quality which we have forgotten or not connected back to. This is the real story to tell to tell our kids.
Isn’t it absurd that we make up fiction in the form of Father Christmas, tooth fairy and non-sense bed time stories in order to offer a magical experience to our children, yet we do not talk to them about the magic in real life? Wait- maybe it could have something to do with the fact that we have been so busy ignoring them in our own lives, we are kind of out of practice. Even then, this article is a great reminder and inspiration to restart.
“When it comes to parenting, what will our children reflect upon when the years have passed? In this world that can be at times chaotic, cynical, dishonest, unloving and scary, could it be that there was a beacon of light and consistency, a parent without perfection that honoured who they are, truly listened and was honest with them?”
Wow wow and wow Sam, love what you write in this blog and this paragraph just sums it up – we have such amazing opportunity as parents to show our children something that they might not get from the world around them – LOVE.
Building a life with consistency and care as the bedrock supports and enriches us in so many ways. The more we commit to this, so does our ability to stay present, to notice and connect to the magic of the universe that is all around us, all of the time- and that we are all an equal part of.
The magic of life not confined to a date, but available in every moment… why do we resist this amazingness and all that is on offer?
It’s true the games we play to entertain kids are full of lies, but how lost are we as adults that we think we need to manufacture magic when it naturally is all around us?
Turning these traditions around requires a great deal of self love, honesty and observation. Building a consistency within our selves enables us to hold that for our children too, so that they feel supported and empowered to know who they are in relation to the world and not get lost in pictures, ideals and beliefs that don’t support them or us to know our truth, wisdom and love in full.
I have found that children are naturally wise, knowing of truth and have an amazing sense of wonder and joy. It feels beautiful to nurture and encourage this. All of the false magic seems to go against this natural knowing of truth and joy.
This is a great question; ‘Is it possible that magic is everywhere – it just happens that we keep getting distracted by a false light because it comes with glitters and sparkles?’ I can feel the huge difference between the false magic and true magic. I have seen my son in wonder at nature and this feels truly magical and then I have observed the queues to see Santa and the shops selling us things to give to our children for Christmas and other occasions and this does not feel like true magic.
“…appreciating what the seasons reflect to us, being aware of bird song, how the sky changes, a sunset, bringing nature into the home with flowers, the sparkle in someone’s eye, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your back” – i adore the detail you bring of life and nature, appreciating the smallest aspects give the greatest joy.
I love how you started with saying I have been growing up with my children for the last nine years, as I have also been doing the same for the past nine years and the reflection and learning that is on offer from our kids is a never ending source and there is almost never a day that goes by that I don’t appreciate this, especially as there was a stage in my life where I thought that I didn’t care whether I had children or not.
We have made Life about as multidimensional as a cereal packet, which is why it has become so dismal and dreary for most of us.Returning to multidimensionality re-instates the magic of Life because Life is, in actual fact, very magical indeed.
I have felt an awful expectation and need for my son to love his presents at birthday time and Christmas time, as if the presents can convey some idea of magic. For magic to be true, our beingness has to be touched in some way, otherwise it’s simply a very poor imitation of the real thing.
What an interesting experiment it would be, if we stopped imposing our pictures, beliefs , aspirations and hopes on our kids and simply let them be who they naturally are. It would be fascinating if we did this worldwide for say, twenty years and then took stock of where we were at.
As a grandparent now, I realise the complication we bring in as parents and make parenting so much more complicated, difficult and draining than it is. It is only now that I realise that it is the ‘dishonesty and pretences’ I participated in and upheld that exhausted me in the life of raising children. The miracle of life is full of existing joy and love and nurtured everyday with honesty and appreciation of who our children are and of ourselves means parenting will be celebrated. This is such a supportive blog for parents beginning out and offers a solid foundation for fully cherishing and loving our precious little ones (it is important to remember we are responsible for raising the parents of the future)
“appreciating magic in our lives has a lot to do with appreciating the gold that is in our lives on a daily basis” – Absolutely. Magic isn’t reserved to big events such as weddings, birthdays, holidays or other ‘celebrations’, but is absolutely a part of everyday life.
I love this and could feel the role we have as adults in this from the very beginning of the blog. We have adopted a process of ‘growing up’ which involves separating from so much of the connection to our true nature that we are born with. Awesome that there will be new generations where this is not the case.
A beautiful blog that restores our true purpose as parents, which is to honour, cherish and deepen the magic of everyday life, through connection, appreciation and honesty, a constant expression that children can rely on amidst an otherwise turbulent society we have allowed to flourish.
“feeling a sense of magic in life is very much about nurturing and keeping alive the innocence, sensitivity and openness that children are born with and which, potentially even into adulthood, we can maintain.” Absolutely, cynicism and the loveless systems that engender it are the blinkers to the otherwise ever-present magic we are naturally attuned to.
“The Magic of Childhood – Explored” – is equally our exploration of our own joy as an adult.
Another problem with the imposed false ‘magic of childhood’ model is that we set children up to have to leave it behind in childhood. Many adults grow up feeling hurt or sad that they had to leave this so called magic behind in childhood whereas the real magic that comes from living with love as our guide can be enjoyed at all ages and right through life and so is never left behind.
There are children being raised today in the full awareness of who they/we are! We all have the choice to return, but what if we never left who we are! What impact will this have on humanity?
Our children show us stuff that we might not have the honesty to look at it and that is a gift that needs constant appreciation.
Totally! The honesty and simplicity of a child’s approach to life present us the pearls – that we had preferred to leave unopened.
Simplicity corrupted by the indulgence of the adult
This is gorgeous, and I so agree with you about when you look into a child’s eyes and see their/our truth. Children absolutely love being truly met with no expectation, just seeing them from that equality is something they generally don’t get often or ever with their families.
The true magic of childhood has been systematically stomped on by most adults (me included). And we do this in many, many ways but all of those ways can be summed up by saying that we interfere with the natural ways of children by imposing over the top of their innate nature our assumed and adapted ways of living.
Creating false truths and telling them to our children is denying their inner knowing and ability to feel the truth just as much if not more than we do.
It’s such an illusion that at 18 years old we become an ‘adult’, because at all points in our lives we have equal right to express ourselves, and at 4, 9, 13 and all ages we can live responsibly, contribute to our community at the time and be an inspiration for all others.
I was struck by how simple it can be when I read this – “In this world that can be at times chaotic, cynical, dishonest, unloving and scary, could it be that there was a beacon of light and consistency, a parent without perfection that honoured who they are, truly listened and was honest with them?”
I wonder if Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy stories depend on the child? These stories were never a theme where I grew up while I have heard of other children for whom they were very important stories where it didn’t matter whether they were real or not?
This is beautiful, and reminds me of the numerous times my own children have shared moments of magic, not only when they were younger but still do now they are both in their 30’s. We all have magic within us to share with each other, its simply a case of allowing ourselves to connect to it and letting it shine out.
Because we have placed magic only in the make believe, we then set ourselves up to be left without any magic in our adult ‘rational’ years – but there is so much magic in real life to be found, that can be shown to our children and carried into adulthood.
What I love about this blog is that it explores the magic of childhood for the adults, it is not the little children that need to be reminded of what it means it is us adults that need to be reminded of the beauty that lives within and around us.
We end up enlisting the myriad of false gimmicks to offer a magical experience to our children because we ourselves have given up on the magic that is accessible through living a true life of love, harmony and wisdom.
‘Knowing that their parents are role-modelling letting go of their ‘stuff’ so that together they can be more loving, because living with love is more important to them than holding on to any ‘stuff.’
This puts parenting in a different perspective and allows us all to learn together.
Our children are not blank slates, they do not need to be ‘filled in’ by the adults all they need from us is to be supported in learning how to be that bright light and shine in a world where this is not yet the normal. They need to learn that every choice has a consequence and that there is responsibility and purpose to life. But if we do not live this as adults, and from our own disconnection we seek entertainment, lies and comfort, is it any wonder that this is what we then offer to our children?
The beauty of your blog is how you are holding yourself equal to your children and know you can learn from them. They reflect to us, if left to be themselves, exactly who we are and though that reflection we are supported to come back to this and learn every day.
“we so easily fall into the behaviours of the generations before us and knowingly perpetuate the cultural myths ” this is so true , we do not even question what we have been brought up with nor the effect it has on us. As you say the magic is there from the beginning and the way we are raising our children right now, just as we have been raised by our parents, is degenrating this magic bit by bit until we have completely forgotten it.
When we are connected to the love, truth and wisdom innate within us, there is a harmony and flow to our lives that constellates in many magical ways.
I’ve often wondered if promoting all these fantasy lies sets us up to not trust one another… if we are lied to as children, would that not create distrust of others into adulthood?
‘I have been growing up with my children for the last nine years…’ this brings such a gorgeous sense of equality between you and your children.
Beautifully spotted Michael yes I agree the equality within Samatha’s family is clearly felt. A true role model for the future.
Yes this stood out for me too. A beautiful acceptance of the fact that we can all learn so much together from each other, no matter what stage of life.
I agree Michael and it is that sense of equality that is sorely missing, not only in the way that we parent but in our education system as well. We all tend to dictate to children, to impose on them and to try and instil our so called ‘values’ on them. It seems that most of us don’t stop to consider the inherent values that a child has or the divine qualities that they are born with. We assume a position of authority and superiority and so much is lost as a result.
This is great, and adding one simple word to what you have shared and that is boundaries, a boundary that is set with loving discipline is understood and appreciated. Then we have to be consistent with what we bring, so we do as I do because I have the same boundaries and discipline!
This is key. Rules are rules and they are the same rules for all of us. Why on earth should our kids follow our lead when it has no foundation of lived example?
It would be supportive to let go of the idea that the beauty and innocence of childhood is something we will lose or let go of, we can still nurture that in them and allow them to be all they are without the world imposing and moulding them into something else. We can do that too as adults by reconnecting to our true essence within ourselves and living that daily. Kids learn what life is about through watching us.
I agree, I am returning to something that can be called innocence and wonder, which I know has always been deep within, and expressed as a child, but I neglected it and hide it and now it is returning. We can absolutely live this as adults as well, it is never too late.
And this whole blog is for each of us to explore in relation to the child within us. Most of us would not have been parented like this…but that doesn’t mean we can’t re-parent ourselves in this light.
Yes, Otto, it is never too late to re-parent ourselves with deep care and nurturing. In fact it is delicious to do so, and it sets new standards to take out into every aspect of life.
I am absolutely re-parenting. myself, the hurt, protected attitude that can be prevalent to be truly let go off, needs supporting with gentleness, understanding and discipline and through this the hurt is discarded, the hurts are healed and let go of and the truth of your being can walk free. It does not matter what sort of childhood you encountered, there is always power in self responsibility and healing.
Reading your list of what truly supports a child….compare this with the energy of what you read in a school prospectus or on their web-site.
‘When we reflect on our experiences, it is our relationships and moments of connection that have true meaning – not what we buy, do or have.’ Those moments of buying something new, or doing something well can give fleeting moments of pleasure, but connecting with others brings a depth, a joy and something that is truly fulfilling.
There really is so much out there today that keeps us distracted or focused on what is not the true magic that surrounds us everywhere, if we care to stop and notice it.
And that includes the magic that we are.
Yes stimulation and reward is a shallow pretender that is stomping around declaring that this is what we should be seeking. And it would not exist other than us asking for it..and yet, when it comes to the true magic that is within us, and we are of it is without question is so much more wholesome, divine and meaningful.
I agree Jane and I feel the fairy tales and false magic is a way to dull our children’s natural and innate magic.
I recall one of our friends said to me that we are being mean for not playing the Santa game with our children. I simply replied, ‘we don’t want to lie to our children’ but our friend found it difficult to understand why we would choose to do this. I realised from that interaction that many people will struggle with our choice to be completely honest with our children. I feel honesty is absolutely needed in our society and it is awesome to break the accepted norm to lie to our children about Santa, the tooth fairy etc. In truth if we ask any child they would tell us that they do not like being lied to, so why keep up this old tradition of lies? It is not evolving for anyone.
Holding our children with the level of respect that we all deserve is a marker that we all crave so why not share it equally.
Yes this photo speaks volumes – more than words can say. This photo speaks to our inner gold and ignites the magic on a particle level. It’s very inspiring for ourselves as adults and also to how we can raise our kids to hold this magic in full simply through confirming the truth and quality of who they are well before focusing on what they do.
‘Is it truly a natural progression in life to not feel magic and become cynical as we mature?’ I feel and have observed that this progression tends to only happen because we from child to adult are following the ideals, beliefs, patterns, cultures etc before us. To all children, and I remember this clearly as a child, adults feel very different and I can’t say it is in a good way. There is more seriousness, more tiredness, more can’t be bothered, less fun, making life about doing and getting stuff done etc etc with adults. But when we bring it back to the inner magic then both adults and children can be living the same beauty in life.
I love this exploration. Of course childhood is full of magic, and so it can be as adults too. We just have to allow it. We don’t have to force magic or create it. It just is.
I watched some children yesterday playing together, not on video games, but making paper models. It reminded me of how far we have come from allowing our children to be, to just be in the magic of their childhood with activities that really honour the wondrous people they are.
Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy combined have nothing on the magic of God that underpins life. This blog shows the gimmicks and hype in a whole new light where they can be seen for the pale imitations they are. More so it reminds us all that we have the ability to live a life of wonder and magic anywhere, anytime.
“We are all teachers in this world” to quote a song by Glorious Music… and that includes children of all ages.