What is it about food that keeps us coming back, already full, feeling content and satisfied and yet, in creeps that little voice saying, “You need to eat, you are hungry.” Why is it that we cannot avoid, ignore, stop, slow down or simply satisfy that little voice that keeps telling us we are hungry and still feel the need to eat, no matter how uncomfortable, full, heavy, tired or lethargic that last unnecessary mouthful may make us feel?
Don’t get me wrong… I am not saying we do not need to eat. I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need, and that there could be an underlying reason why we eat as much as often as we do.
Perhaps there are issues, feelings, emotions that we feel, observe or see around and within us that we simply do not want to feel. Or could it be that we feel so amazing that we cannot handle just how awesome we are, so we instead opt to take the edge off, dulling ourselves just enough that we no longer feel that which we are possibly trying to avoid?
Food for me has been used in many ways: yes the obvious, we need to eat to survive, but I know for absolute certainty that I eat much more than I actually need. More often than not, it is at times where I am avoiding wanting to feel something that is going on around me – a situation, confrontation or emotion that I just do not want to deal with – so a snack is a great way to take my mind off it. Or that life is going so incredibly well, I am feeling so amazing, that rather than allow myself to truly appreciate and observe this, I dive into some roasted almonds, make some nut butter or decide to do some baking so I can lick the bowl. Better yet, cook a whole heap of food so it keeps me so busy that I totally forget what I am trying to avoid or ignore in the first place.
Again, don’t get me wrong, cooking is a lot of fun; I love it and I love to cook and share meals with others, but it can be something I choose to use as a distraction, rather than something that is done to support, nurture and nourish me.
Whatever the reason, you name it – food has it covered: it is so often our go to, all rounder, good-for-every-occasion best friend and companion. Not to mention conversation piece.
So why is food such a touchy subject? Why is it that everyone at one time or another uses food as a go to, a comforting agent? Yet to truly admit we have addictions with and towards food (well, there is your touchy subject!) is something we avoid looking at. I know I have in the past!
To really go there and look at the how, why and what we eat can be very exposing and bring up a lot, especially when we need to eat to survive. So how crazy is it to question our eating patterns, really? Though I’m beginning to ask, how crazy is it to not question them?
So, I am doing just that. I am questioning the ‘how,’ ‘why,’ ‘what’ and ‘when’ of eating. Yes, it is uncomfortable, and at times I really would rather not go there. Since really getting to the nitty gritty of it, boy oh boy, have those old eating habits wanted to march back in. As soon as I even attempt to avoid something or not appreciate anything, in comes the voice, a Jiminy Cricket you could say, chanting, “Go on, eat it!”
So the challenge begins when my body feels amazing, light, vital – and in comes the avoidance, the tension of, “Oh no! Life! I have to deal with all of this,” or “I cannot be this amazing,” – and the little voice says “Quick! Grab some food or better yet, even though you already cannot breathe after a huge meal, go back and have a second serve.”
It’s crazy that, even though we can be so uncomfortable that our body is screaming, “No more, you need to fast for a week after that outburst,” the tension is so great we often override it and lash out time and time again, each time saying, “Never again.”
Food and alcohol, – are they really any different, or is it that we see food as a necessity and therefore dare not question it? Could the drive behind how, why, and what we eat actually be coming from a thought, a mindset that is not actually our own?
Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are? I am understanding that it does not matter what anyone else thinks of us; it is what and how we feel about ourselves that matters most.
To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.
By Nicole Serafin, Age 45yrs, Tintenbar, NSW
Further Reading:
Food Choices – From Eating for Taste to Eating to Nourish
Self-Care and My Inbuilt Automatic Feedback Loop
Zombie Way of Life
690 Comments
Using food as a substitute for feeling the fullness of who we are can lead to a feeling that we are less and so crave to eat some more!
“Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are?” This sentence struck me today. I have observed that after an amazing session or workshop some students reach for the comfort foods – to stop ourselves from feeling amazing – just as you say Helen.
“Why is it that everyone at one time or another uses food as a go to, a comforting agent? Yet to truly admit we have addictions with and towards food (well, there is your touchy subject!) is something we avoid looking at” The difficulty is we do need to eat, so cant just avoid food, as we could with other substances like drugs or alcohol. The lure of the supermarkets and advertising are their to sell- regardless of the harm we are doing to ourselves.
Appreciation of our essences is a key to keeping our spirit, who is that mindset that is not actually ours, so when we appreciate our essence it is simple to not indulge and thus bloat and the ensuing lethargy.
It certainly helps to appreciate our essence to ensure we don’t indulge, but there are times when the spirit gets the upper hand and the impulse to do so can’t be denied. In such cases I have allowed the indulgence and in each case my body clearly tells me when I have had enough. The momentum of self love and nurture I have developed kicks in and there is a much firmer foundation for saying no the next time that impulse is felt, especially when I have allowed myself to feel the ill consequences in my body and how that pushes against the love that I have lived and want to continue to grow.
I agree Michelle. I used to say no – for years – to so many indulgent foods – but that was all done with discipline, not from a firm foundation. So recently I’ve been experimenting and, as you say, my body soon lets me know whats true for me. A much more authentic approach to eating. And my choice as to what to eat next time…..
Years ago I used to feel this awful stabbing pain in my stomach in the morning and eating something was the way to stop it. I’ve realised over time that the stabbing pain isn’t actually hunger but something I am feeling about life I haven’t wanted to accept. It comes up rarely now but it has been amazing to explore the pain and not eat and get underneath it to what it’s actually trying to say to me.
I’m very aware right now that I would love to eat my way out of how I’m feeling but I am equally aware that I can’t, not because I don’t have access to food but because there is no food or quantity of food that will take away my discomfort. The only way to permanently address my discomfort is to transmute it and although at this stage I’m not totally sure how to go about doing this, I do know that the transmutation process is an internal one.
Lately because I have felt quite tired I have been using sugary foods to get me through the day nothing artificial but sugary all the same.
A more honest approach would be for me to stop the sugar, let myself feel how tired I am and actually rest!
When I feel a strong sense of purpose it’s easy to know what food feels true to eat when I dont have purpose my eating can go to pot.
I can use food to support me or I can use food to numb me, it is always my choice and always has it after effects – good or bad.
I agree Nicole, many of us definitely eat more than we really need, whether it is wanting a treat, something for comfort, an after dinner ‘something sweet’, the list goes on, ‘I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need, and that there could be an underlying reason why we eat as much as often as we do.’
“To really go there and look at the how, why and what we eat can be very exposing and bring up a lot, ” I agree. It’s never just about the food but what do we feel and how are we moving before that desire for a little something enters?
The wisdom of the body is to be deeply appreciated, for it can allow us to learn so much about how we live. I so appreciate my body and the magic of my Soul that it allows me to connect with.
Especially with stimulating food cooked with some form of sugar with a high or low GI, it feels like we want more and more. I took sugar as an exemple because I have a sweet tooth myself. The hard bit is to feel the consequences afterwards, feeling tired or fuzzy, not quite together.
I know that fuzzy feeling, the fatigue with underlying raciness too… it makes sense to question why it is what we do.
It seems that no matter how much we give into our cravings and the desire for more, we simply cannot numb out what it is that we do not want to feel.
To look at the world’s relationship with food and how we use it is pretty meek. The second we use food to fill a hole we are rejecting the fact that food can nourish our bodies.
I used to buy into the belief that the more that we eat of a food that is ‘good’ for us then the better it is. I used to pack as much fruit and veg into my day as possible thinking that I was consuming massive amounts of nutrients. The fact that I had an almost permanently distended belly seemed to escape me completely. The interesting thing is that I don’t eat much at all any more, my body simply doesn’t want that much to eat but when I go to have my regular blood tests my results indicate that I am very healthy and yet previously I would have been convinced that I wouldn’t have been getting enough nutrients.
I often over eat in the evenings because if I do that I will wake up with less clarity and awareness which I know I resist feeling.
‘Why is it that everyone at one time or another uses food as a go to, a comforting agent?’ This is universal and something, I think we can all relate to.
‘One time or another’ !!! I would say that most of us use food as a ‘go to or comforting agent’ constantly throughout the majority of our lives, it is how we have been taught and modelled to use food. We mark pretty much everything in our lives with overeating, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc and in between times we simply over eat out of pure habit.
Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are? Yes, there are days I feel super amazing and light, and then will eat something to dull this amazingness, mmm… what would happen if I didn’t eat to dull?
I can so relate to this too. It feels crazy to feel so amazing and then to calculate and dull myself with food in order to not be aware and feel awesome again. As western nations are overeating – hence the obesity crisis – are we not wanting to feel our magnificence and also to not feel deeply where the world is at?
I agree Nicole, many of us definitely eat more than we really need, whether it is wanting a treat, something for comfort, an after dinner ‘something sweet’, the list goes on, ‘I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need, and that there could be an underlying reason why we eat as much as often as we do.’
It would be very interesting to see and feel what unfolded if you and more of us chose not to eat to dull, ‘Or could it be that we feel so amazing that we cannot handle just how awesome we are, so we instead opt to take the edge off, dulling ourselves just enough that we no longer feel that which we are possibly trying to avoid?’
I am feeling more and more how I eat to not feel the tension that I feel. What I appreciate is the more I am feeling this the more I am aware of what is going on and getting to the point I can no longer live this way #movingforward #evolution ✨
‘So the challenge begins when my body feels amazing, light, vital – and in comes the avoidance, the tension of, “Oh no! Life! I have to deal with all of this,” or “I cannot be this amazing,” – and the little voice says “Quick! Grab some food or better yet, even though you already cannot breathe after a huge meal, go back and have a second serve.’
I can relate to all of this, and it still happens, but the more I focus on being present in my body, the less that little voice from my head influences.
The more I appreciate myself and allow myself just to be me, the easier it becomes to choose food products that are lighter on my digestive system, heal and truly support and nourish my body, without perfection, as now and again I still like go have something that is naturally sweet.
What we think of ourselves is definitely what matters most because if your truly feel your essence anyone could say whatever they want negatively and it would just roll off you. This is an important step in living for love and truth when the world is full of lies.