What is it about food that keeps us coming back, already full, feeling content and satisfied and yet, in creeps that little voice saying, “You need to eat, you are hungry.” Why is it that we cannot avoid, ignore, stop, slow down or simply satisfy that little voice that keeps telling us we are hungry and still feel the need to eat, no matter how uncomfortable, full, heavy, tired or lethargic that last unnecessary mouthful may make us feel?
Don’t get me wrong… I am not saying we do not need to eat. I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need, and that there could be an underlying reason why we eat as much as often as we do.
Perhaps there are issues, feelings, emotions that we feel, observe or see around and within us that we simply do not want to feel. Or could it be that we feel so amazing that we cannot handle just how awesome we are, so we instead opt to take the edge off, dulling ourselves just enough that we no longer feel that which we are possibly trying to avoid?
Food for me has been used in many ways: yes the obvious, we need to eat to survive, but I know for absolute certainty that I eat much more than I actually need. More often than not, it is at times where I am avoiding wanting to feel something that is going on around me – a situation, confrontation or emotion that I just do not want to deal with – so a snack is a great way to take my mind off it. Or that life is going so incredibly well, I am feeling so amazing, that rather than allow myself to truly appreciate and observe this, I dive into some roasted almonds, make some nut butter or decide to do some baking so I can lick the bowl. Better yet, cook a whole heap of food so it keeps me so busy that I totally forget what I am trying to avoid or ignore in the first place.
Again, don’t get me wrong, cooking is a lot of fun; I love it and I love to cook and share meals with others, but it can be something I choose to use as a distraction, rather than something that is done to support, nurture and nourish me.
Whatever the reason, you name it – food has it covered: it is so often our go to, all rounder, good-for-every-occasion best friend and companion. Not to mention conversation piece.
So why is food such a touchy subject? Why is it that everyone at one time or another uses food as a go to, a comforting agent? Yet to truly admit we have addictions with and towards food (well, there is your touchy subject!) is something we avoid looking at. I know I have in the past!
To really go there and look at the how, why and what we eat can be very exposing and bring up a lot, especially when we need to eat to survive. So how crazy is it to question our eating patterns, really? Though I’m beginning to ask, how crazy is it to not question them?
So, I am doing just that. I am questioning the ‘how,’ ‘why,’ ‘what’ and ‘when’ of eating. Yes, it is uncomfortable, and at times I really would rather not go there. Since really getting to the nitty gritty of it, boy oh boy, have those old eating habits wanted to march back in. As soon as I even attempt to avoid something or not appreciate anything, in comes the voice, a Jiminy Cricket you could say, chanting, “Go on, eat it!”
So the challenge begins when my body feels amazing, light, vital – and in comes the avoidance, the tension of, “Oh no! Life! I have to deal with all of this,” or “I cannot be this amazing,” – and the little voice says “Quick! Grab some food or better yet, even though you already cannot breathe after a huge meal, go back and have a second serve.”
It’s crazy that, even though we can be so uncomfortable that our body is screaming, “No more, you need to fast for a week after that outburst,” the tension is so great we often override it and lash out time and time again, each time saying, “Never again.”
Food and alcohol, – are they really any different, or is it that we see food as a necessity and therefore dare not question it? Could the drive behind how, why, and what we eat actually be coming from a thought, a mindset that is not actually our own?
Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are? I am understanding that it does not matter what anyone else thinks of us; it is what and how we feel about ourselves that matters most.
To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.
By Nicole Serafin, Age 45yrs, Tintenbar, NSW
Further Reading:
Food Choices – From Eating for Taste to Eating to Nourish
Self-Care and My Inbuilt Automatic Feedback Loop
Zombie Way of Life
617 Comments
When we ask ourselves why we continue to eat foods which leave us feeling dull, or in my case nauseous we get closer to unraveling why it is that we keep repeating the same patterns of indulgence and regret.
Appreciation of ourselves is key here when it comes to accepting ourselves with warts and all. Often we put too much emphasis on what we think society wants from us but at the same time forgetting that everyone else is doing the same thing.
To be able to draw the line and say – I am never living like that again – I am worthy of truth, love and joy and I will no longer pollute my body in that way – that is a great place to come to, exposing yes, but liberating of the shackles that have held us.
Yes our physical bodies require food but how much and when, is a little skewed to what we actually give it. About five years ago I had to have a procedure done where I was going under general anesthesia and had to fast for a day. Because I couldn’t actually have food, it exposed how many times a day I thought about food, how many times I went to the cupboard or the fridge to just grab a handful of this or that, and how I used food as a reward. I was also able to feel how much space I had to feel what needed to be done or what I felt to do and how focused I was when I wasn’t distracting myself with food. Everything was so simple and flowed and I wasn’t drained or tired and I also moved a lot more gently.
It’s true it is how we feel about ourselves that matters. We can be told how beautiful, kind generous, sweet, strong etc we are but if we don’t feel it we cannot be it, as in expressing it. So how vital it is then to get in touch with our essence, that part of us that is true and is love, is in harmony and is still and joyful. This is what gives us true confidence and allows us a life…as in ‘get a life’. This is what supports us to feel full without the need to overeat or eat things that don’t support us.
Great to read this again and consider the many underlying reasons why I reach for and eat food when I don’t need any. A lot to examine on not feeling uncomfortable about feeling amazing, and feeling discomfort from what I am aware of going on around me.
Melinda, looks at the what led us to the food has been key for me to help heal the root cause of my cravings and is a constant part of my life.
We cringe at how we can bludgeon with a hammer and harm another yet play less to the harm that is caused on our body and all our senses when we choose food that is not as instant in its attack yet sooner or later comes to the surface.
I cringed when I saw the word ‘bludgeon’ and the word food in the same sentence. I know that has how I have eaten in the past always, I still can have this behaviour come up at times but really feel the impact of this on my body and the bloating and heaviness when we bludgeon ourselves on food.
We are sold this picture that we need to eat to survive and whilst true does the food industry and how we use food in anyway represent that? Nope, for most not even a smidgen. When it comes to survival we use food for almost anything but that. Sure we need to eat but when is that truly the reason why we are eating what we are eating? We have corrupted our relationship with food to the extent that we have confused the true need of our body’s nutrition with emotional cravings within us.