I have begun to truly love men, but not in the sense of being a crazed, man-eating woman.
Nothing to do with sex, or sexual feelings; not in the sense of looking for a partner, nothing along those lines, but the fact that I love men in their essence, as an equal, as a fellow human being who is exactly the same as me. I love what men bring to the world in a naturally sweet, loving, caring, gentle and tender way, and how the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man is in all men, not just a few.
Each day it is a joy to feel this unfold. What I love about men in their essence is just how natural this tenderness and gentleness can be, and how simply being in the presence of a true gentle-man is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, whether it’s simply:
- A man honouring me for just being me, not what I look like, nor what I do
- Having a conversation
- Observing them
- An offer of help
- A loving gesture, or act
- An email exchange
- A hug
- A kiss or
- A gentle and tender touch.
When I experience men in this gentle, tender state of being, all hardness and or protection I may have been carrying completely drops, and I am left feeling my own exquisite tenderness, gentleness and deep care; and the fact that men are not really hard, rough and tough, but they carry such a beautiful and exquisite strength in being sensitive and tender.
There’s been many occasions where I have been blessed to feel such lovely men, and yet at the time I have not appreciated this naturally gentle and tender way. Instead I have reacted to what’s been projected on the outside, a stereotype, a hardness, an anger, a protection, a story; all of those things which I know of men are not really true.
However the times when I have, and now do appreciate men for who they truly are, I have felt it from:
- Sharing a hug with a male friend that felt so open and amazing with no sexual feelings whatsoever.
- Having my hair gently moved out of my face with such tenderness and care it completely blew me away.
- Feeling arms wrapped around me gently with deep care.
- Hearing a man’s voice who’s living with such love and care and feeling my whole body expand.
- Having a conversation with a man who has held me as his equal with true love and care.
- Being kissed truly from love with no sexual desire. The true feeling where a kiss comes from love, and that is simply what it is, no other reason, not wanting anything, no need for sex or just wanting sex or lust, just simply love. So often affections are shown with such a strong sexual energy instead of true beauty, appreciation and love.
- Simply observing a grown man sleeping on the train, seeing the beautiful, tender and innocent young boy in him, and naturally feeling love.
- Observing how tender a man is with a baby or child.
Even last week when playfully asking a group of workmen if I could take their photo, I was left feeling how sweet, shy, gentle and lovely these men were… it was like watching a group of beautiful young boys at play, not something we normally equate with the stereotype of a workman.
What I am coming to feel is that under the hard exteriors that many men have built to protect themselves are the most naturally loving and caring men, but they have learned somewhere in life to not show this and hide it away.
Maybe it’s been in the playground or at the school gates, when beautiful young boys are told to wipe their tears away, to ‘man-up’, be tough, to not be a sissy or a girl, or stop being gay. Maybe it’s all the role models, the media, the ideals and beliefs that a man is rough, rugged, muscular, hard, tough, has to fight or compete his way through life, and that to talk, to share how you feel, to be open, express, to cry, to be love, to be sensitive, gentle and tender is not how a real man should be.
But what if these beliefs and ideals were a lie to keep men from knowing who they truly are and sharing their tenderness, gentleness and sensitivity with the world? What would happen if we allowed men to be this way?
Each time I allow myself to feel and appreciate and love men in this way is the time I open to let go of another layer of how I and the world have shaped how a man should be. Without saying anything or having any expectations I can observe, feel and appreciate the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man, even if it’s not what he’s choosing to be at that particular moment, and that all men are as equally tender and gentle as any woman or child can be.
With love and thanks to Serge Benhayon, Curtis Benhayon and Michael Benhayon, for they are without doubt amazing, truly loving and tender role models for all men; and to Universal Medicine for all they present, live and share, and to all the truly beautiful, tender and gentle-men out there.
By Gyl Rae, Student and waitress, Scotland
710 Comments
I work with a team of men and am deeply touched by the level of care they bring to their work. The more that I appreciate this in them, it is like the more it gives it permission to be expressed. These men I adore and they mean a lot to me and also how they are with each other is very beautiful to witness. They don’t compete with each other, they support each other and work towards the same purpose but in their own ways- all of which compliment each other.
It’s great to hear about men who don’t compete with one another because competition between men is rife and greatly reduces their sensitivity as they toughen up to spar.
I spent much of my life being afraid of men. I felt like men were a different species that was tough and unfeeling. Over the past five years I have seen that this fear of men was based on a lie. I now know men to be deeply sensitive beings and my appreciation for men grows daily.
Yes I love the tenderness in men and I also love their power, strength and wisdom. In fact I love men and women with all their varied qualities and expressions.
I recently had dinner with 4 really lovely young men. It was beautiful to watch them all working together to prepare a meal and hugging each other. It was super sweet and felt so natural for them to be that way with each other.
Somehow, this post made me emotional. It feels painful, at the same time, I’m glad. Someone actually notices that we, men, have to sometimes go to great lengths to hide how we truly feel. I have been raised to believe that I have no rights to show my vulnerable side.
We focus on what men do and some of our crazy habits, but gaze lovingly and look underneath you will see pretty quick his sweet and delicate qualities. They are way more obvious than men like to think! Thanks Gyl for reminding me.
The responsibility of how a man should be is not from what a woman thinks or wants, that is perpetuating that men are rejected and cannot be who they are. But if a woman simply lives her Truth and her essence, from that men will understand what it is to be a man, also from Truth and from essence.
Whenever I am met by a man who walks claimed in his tenderness I can say in all honesty that I melt every time, as it feels like I am held in the arms of Brotherhood, which confirms so deeply that we are of the one same source. To be open to meet men for who they are in essence, is to deeply honor their true strength, so they too feel confident and free to embrace living the power they are here to live, share and inspire us all with.
There is so much to appreciate in all of us, man woman or child, if we see with unveiled eyes we will see what is truly there to be seen.
In order to honour and embrace men in their true divine nature, would first entail women living from a place of sacredness as this would disable our predominantly male energy driven world and would bring balance to the sea of energy we live in. This would then support men and women too, to express and live their innate divine qualities.
When a woman is met and honoured with the tender and caring ways of a man there is nothing less but a joy to be in the company of both. What a wonderful blog reminding us that the potential is always there if we choose to make it about our everyday.
It is a lovely piece of appreciation for men and honours the very sweet, delicate, sensitive and tender sides we all have just had hidden away because generally the world has not wanted or accepted us being that way. So to get it written down as you have is a real blessing. Thank you.
So beautifully shared Gyl. When I began to see just how sensitive, tender and sweet men naturally are I also began to feel devastated by the way men have been used and abused by systems such as war, sport and relationships. Feeling how vulnerable men truly are rocked my foundations and I found that I had an investment is seeing men as rough and unfeeling as this allowed me to stay numb to the horrific state most men are in.
It’s very lovely to read and feel the truth and love of men being honoured. It does not happen from women enough.
To be able to see behind the façade that most men have erected, simply to be the man that society expects them to be, is such a blessing. It is so wonderful to feel their sensitivity and their tenderness and to know that this has been with them since birth but as they live in a world that expects them to be tough and macho the walls of hardness need to be built to cover up who they truly are. It is time for us all to acknowledge the most beautiful and natural essence of a boy and to support him to retain his innate tenderness and sensitivity so he can grow into the man he was born to be.
“I have begun to truly love men, but not in the sense of being a crazed, man-eating woman.”
“I love what men bring to the world in a naturally sweet, loving, caring, gentle and tender way, and how the natural tenderness and gentleness of a man is in all men, not just a few. ”
Its so beautiful to read these words Gyl for deep down every man knows these words to be truth.
Truly profound sharing Gyl, for we are shown that we are all equal by nature, but the shape we had taken on might differ to our upbringing, but that in truth might result into a certain character that we call us, but our nature remains for it is our every gentle way – of being tenderly you. So it is time we go back to that, holding ourselves in that truly so..
If a man truly knows himself, he knows his tenderness and his strength, and then he has a responsibility to be true in the world, transparent, so that people can look into his eyes, through him, and be nurtured by what is there reflected… And to feel the possibility of something very different.
When I was younger I used to feel intimidated by men especially those in power, but the more I deepen my connection with myself the more I develop all relationships, I no longer feel intimidated rather I see them as a man first rather then a threat.
It is gorgeous to see a man be open and tender. Allowing him to share his sensitivities does indeed melt any rough and tough images I may have or still hold onto. And when I don’t lace what I am receiving with expectations of how he should be – wow.
To have a woman so openly and deeply appreciate our truth is gold-trimmed, diamond-embossed invitation for us to be even more. Thank you for this blog – it inspires me to keep going deeper.
I fully agree Otto. When my essence is felt and appreciated this deeply, I feel an amazingly beautiful connection and oneness, which indeed inspires me to go even deeper. There is no better invitation than to be asked to be more of myself.
For sure men are taught by society to harden up and to hide your sensitivity as if there was something wrong with it.
“…they carry such a beautiful and exquisite strength in being sensitive and tender.” Yes they do and it is so easy to be distracted by the outer shell of hardness and of protection because that sensitivity is not valued or championed on the whole in a man, yet there is such strength when it is lived without apology.
I have come to know that beneath the hardened exterior of a man who has taken on the accepted belief that to be a man you have to ‘harden up’, is the tender, delicate and beautiful young boy that he once was. It is so wonderful to know this but at the same time quite sad to know that this is a way of living that so many men have accepted in their need to fit into what society considers to be normal. There is nothing normal about a man, or a woman, pretending to be who they are not; it only serves to harm them and the whole world misses out on the amazing beings they naturally are.
I couldn’t help but relate some of these ‘manly’ qualities to myself and realise where I am still holding protection or hardness and guardedness. Thank you Gyl.
It is when we allow our own equal qualities to shine through that we are then given the joy of feeling this from another.
I used to think these qualities of Men that you describe Gyl were extremely rare and almost unseen in this world. But lately I’ve been noticing that almost every man I meet has this delicacy and preciousness going on beneath the surface, of what they do for work or sport. If you get the chance to look into their eyes chances are you’ll see tenderness and great warmth just looking for some light to tell them it’s ok, to live and be this way. When we say yes to this in what we show them it is not only safe but extremely possible.
To truly love men is to to see past the many illusions that have put before us.
Your list of qualities you have listed applies for men and women. Only when we can feel the qualities, you have presented in our self, live them fully and accept we no longer have to try and be something we are not, life becomes joy-full, and life just flows!
The more I deepen the relationship and appreciation I have for myself the more I am able to feel it in others around me.
In today’s world, I feel we are completely underestimating the strength of a man’s innate care and tenderness by misinterpreting their physical strength as their only strength.
It is only since developing the relationship I have with myself, getting to know me and deeply trusting myself that I have been able to connect to and trust men. With out this relationship of self love we will be forever seeing things in a distorted view.
Great point Samantha, this has been my experience too. If I honour my own sensitivity I am then able to appreciate the sensitivity of others. Everything we choose to see is a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.
Great sharing as the level of openness we have with ourselves is the quality to share with another.
It is so easy to get caught up in the stereo-types of what a man should be. To believe that that is what we are – the images we place on to eachother. I have found that a great breaker of these images to begin to ask questions, either to the person or just with myself, as it is often in the sincere exploration of what I only see that the truth seems reveals itself the most.
Don’t judge a book by its cover; get inside it and see what it’s pages reveal. As it is with all of us – men and women; we are imprisoned by, and we imprison ourselves with, these stereotypes and pictures. And yet underneath it all is just a bunch of glorious, tender souls who want to share and express their love for each other equally. So, get all that garbage out the way and dive in!
When the beauty of what men bring is honoured and not what one wants of them , one will always see the true man . This also applies to young male children if they feel , see no expectation , then one will see the truth of whats there, A tender care-full being.
Yes, to honour the beauty of what a man brings in their essence and not place expectations on them, then wow, what care-full, divine beings stand before us. Inspiring indeed.
Recently I have been aware of how I have chosen to push away the gentleness, care and tenderness coming through men. It made me feel uncomfortable and so would do all I could like creating an argument to purposely avoid it yet with this new awareness has come an openess, an openess and willingness to welcome a warmth and love that is naturally there in all men into my life, a tenderness that is changing my life.
Recently I was at the gym, and looked around at the other men in the changing room. I observed as they carefully ironed their shirts, lovingly put their cuff links on and playfully laughed with their friends. It made me see, as you share here Gyl, that often I am blinded by the stereotypes and habits we all have in society that are not true and so I miss the natural delicacy and beauty that is actually there. Don’t believe the things you hear, or take the bad behaviour as proof all men do not care – each of us I have met have within us such tenderness just waiting to be encouraged.
The more I drop my guard and protection the more I see men for who they truly are – beautiful, naturally sweet, loving, caring, gentle and tender.
Beautiful Gyle. This also resonates why there are so many men gay. as they feel safe with each other to be in that tenderness which is their natural way and can be expressed either to men or women.
Yep I love appreciating the natural tenderness in men as well, it is completely gorgeous and allows me to drop any protection I am carrying as well.
I used to be very scared of men when I was younger and felt unsafe at times. But since I have deepened my own relationship and connection with me, all of my relationships with others has changed too. I share many lovely connections with men now and the fear that I once held has simply melted away as I have built the love for myself, my love for men has grown too. Men are truly gentle and tender souls, just as women are.