What many men call normal, for me always felt like an addiction. I was introduced to porn at the age of 12 when we found some magazines in the paper waste of a friend’s house.
We soon found out where his father had hidden more magazines and video tapes. We spent hours and hours looking at the pictures and never ever talked about how we felt about them. Each boy would be isolated doing his thing, no communication, no connection.
I remember feeling empty, with a sense of guilt and raciness after those experiences, yet I would crave for more because I didn’t have any intimacy in my life. No cuddles with my parents or friends and I was way too shy to enter a relationship.
So the images of naked skin gave me the illusion of people being close, meeting each other. In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.
When I had my first sexual experience at the age of 19, it was a disaster. I had all these ideas and images disturbing me and setting me up for how to act, what to think, how to sound and the reality didn’t match at all with what I had seen on screen and paper.
I felt lonely and not met, nor could I meet my partner.
My friendships had changed by that time and since we neither had Internet nor cellphones, I didn’t have access to porn for a couple of years. But when I had the opportunity of visiting a big town, I would sneak into a porn movie theatre and this then confirmed to me that I was addicted to watching porn.
On the outside everything seemed fine. I had finished my studies at University and was working as a therapist, my body looked healthy from daily Hatha-Yoga sessions; I was married and had a great, well-functioning social network.
But why was I still watching porn? I had tried countless disciplines to let go of this habit.
By this time, I could already clearly feel that porn was actually looking at people being heavily abused, although I would still fool myself and think it would be less harmful if I didn’t watch aggressive porn.
What struck me most was the fact that I was working as a therapist often with women who had suffered sexual abuse. Although many clients found a momentary release through their sessions with me, they never experienced true healing from the sexual abuse.
Physical symptoms, fears and suicidal thoughts would come back time after time. But how could my clients heal from sexual abuse when I needed to heal this within myself to then be able to truly support their healing?
Sometimes I would have watched porn in my lunch break and then returned to treat clients that had been sexually abused. The images of sex sometimes were so strong in my mind that I had difficulties focusing on what my clients were sharing with me in the sessions.
I felt ashamed to touch my clients because it felt like I was somehow harming them. I couldn’t help it, but even without touching, in the moment when we looked at each other’s eyes, the energy of the pornographic images I had let into my body flooded the room and I could feel that I had absorbed the energy of the porn by watching it and this was actually abusive to my client and myself.
Nobody had ever told me that this was possible, but it was so awkward and real that I didn’t need proof of this other than my lived experience.
I started questioning myself as a therapist and the modalities I practised (which were mainly new age, shaman, spiritual, alternative therapies). If I was neither able to let go of the addiction, nor able to prevent the harm I was causing my clients in an environment that I was responsible for holding – one that is meant to allow healing from abuse – then something was genuinely missing and going wrong in my life.
Soon after this I began to get to know Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Although porn addiction was never a topic of the Esoteric healing sessions, the addiction just fell off my shoulders within one year.
The more intimate I became with my natural self, the more normal it became to really meet people and be met by them, including other students of Universal Medicine.
I decided to let go of all the new age modalities I had practiced before I had experienced Universal Medicine at once, especially all shamanistic ceremonies and sessions and instead began only to work with the Universal Medicine therapies that I had learned.
After this decision I watched porn two times and both experiences were so disgusting that from that time on I never touched porn again.
It was clear everything had changed. I have experienced that the Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.
I began to realise that the modalities that I had practiced and experienced before I had come across those taught by Universal Medicine, all the new age, spiritual and shamanistic therapies, seem to work with energy in a way that casts a fog around our energetic awareness in the most deceitful and evil way to make us think we are dealing with the energetic root causes of our issues.
This goes on until our bodies show us the truth by displaying symptoms of exhaustion, illness and sometimes chronic disease and mental and emotional ill-health.
When I decided to become an Esoteric practitioner and applied for accreditation through the “Esoteric Practitioner’s Association” (EPA*) I found out that a prerequisite for becoming an Esoteric practitioner is to commit to never watch porn as well as a number of other prerequisites such as not drinking alcohol.
It was the first time in my life I had heard of this or come across an organisation that considered how what the practitioner does will directly impact upon the quality of healing that is offered to a client.
No healing modality that I ever came across, neither at University nor around the world during my studies of alternative medicine, ever asked that I not watch porn, or engage in other activities, because of the harm it would cause me and my clients.
This made sense of my experiences of the Universal Medicine therapies and the power of healing that they brought to me and others. It was the final confirmation for the stupendous quality, care and space that Universal Medicine and the EPA* offer, something that is not seen or matched anywhere else worldwide.
My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.
I would want such a safe space for every single person on earth, so that nobody ever again has to suffer unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of their practitioner’s lifestyle choices.
More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.
It was the true love I had for my clients and for myself that allowed me to ask the right questions that brought me to meet Serge Benhayon. And it is his enormous love and care for humanity that allowed me to change and create a safe space in my clinic.
The women and men that now come to see me, some of whom may have been sexually abused, can now finally start to truly heal in my clinic because they are never going to be imposed upon by an abusive energy that was there before I understood what my porn addiction was doing and they are offered an environment where they can feel safe and supported through the loving ways I now choose to live every day.
* The EPA (Esoteric Practitioners Association) is a branch of Universal Medicine. It was instigated by Universal Medicine to monitor and accredit the modalities that were founded by Universal Medicine.
By Anonymous, Germany
Further Reading:
Porn addiction – what are we missing out on?
Behind Closed Doors
Our secret medical history
Our standards of decency and respect have slid so far that what we now may consider as normal is very abnormal, eg porn, which means – how dramatically will the standards then slide if decadence and/or depravity are our normal way?
It’s a great reminder for us all too that there are no private or secret moments, even in our thinking, as everything adds up to the collective energy we live and express in, which affects others.
“More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.” It’s great for everyone to openly discuss the realities of porn. We have a tendency as human beings to override what really feels true, that first mouthful of alcohol tastes disgusting, likewise the first puff of a cigarette feels like poison to the body, and when we seen porn we also know in some way its trashing something pure within ourselves and within all of us. But, we repeat these things even though we don’t like them. Great to uncover what was lacking in your own intimate relationship with yourself (and earlier with your family) that created the void to fill with some other kind of false ‘closeness’ – porn.
This article clearly shows that the integrity in the way we live is felt by everyone we meet.
Understanding how our thoughts and words are what we take into everything we do or energetic awareness is the start of our evolution back to being connected to our Essences, Inner-most-hearts / Souls so that True healing comes through us then we do not impose ill energy on others.
There is an energy in this world that is pure, innocent, amazing, pure love, glorious and true – the energy that porn is is the complete opposite to all that.
It is a dark tunnel to embark, one which may seem to not have any light or other people for miles. You can feel completely isolated and alone. The thought of it may make you feel disgusted, but you drop into it again and again, time after time. It is worth exploring, seeing why it is that way, why do you rush to your computer for the relief. Although the relationship may be an unhealthy one, it is worth exploring and seeing why it exists. Judging and condemning ourselves for it will never do anybody any good.
There is a lot of shame around pornography and people engaging in the privacy of their space, we cast judgements and criticism but do we ever look at the root cause to bring understanding and support a healing process? Our society has a lot of flaws and the fact that we criticise one other is actually one of our biggest ones.
Having done some research recently I was shocked to find that it is now more common for violent and extreme porn to be consumed. Porn will never fill the void where a lack of intimacy lies and in response the drug has to up the dose or it’s potency in a failed attempt to fill that void.
Listening to the knowing we have of when an energy is dodgy is our guide back to what’s true and pure. I’ve done all sorts in the quest for intimacy and now I am connecting with my sacredness I am able to say no to what I once allowed.
Esoteric healing sessions are amazing, I know my past has no hold over me what so ever anymore mainly due to the help and support I have received via Esoteric healing practitioners.
The demand for porn is huge, as a society we need to ask why this is and what is in our systems, education, society that means so many people go looking for such a thing.
I remember a number of years ago on my way home from a Universal Medicine retreat stopping to pick up a few essentials in a local shop. Standing in the checkout queue with another person ahead of me, I was observing the man ahead of us paying for his groceries. Reading his energy was like walking onto the set of a porn movie. I felt how his every move was governed by thoughts of porn and how it oozed out of every cell in his being. I felt how this trip to the shops was like an intrusion into his world and his only thought was to get home as quickly as possible to return to his porn. I remember focusing in on his face and being surprised at how normal he looked, as if he was just another customer doing his weekly shop.
What a beautifully honest blog and exposé on the energetic effect and affect imposing energies have on not just the person themselves, but everyone they come in to contact with.
When we do not consider the energetic factor we are at loss of what is truly going on. We can be impeccably dressed and so forth but when we don’t consider the energy we are in this does not make any difference.
Porn is an often-undiscussed topic and the fact that you have been so openly honest about your experience is breaking the mold. With kids being exposed to it younger and younger through their devices and developing a warped view about sexual relationships, we need more than ever for this topic to be discussed.
It must be quite confronting for a survivor of sexual abuse to then go and see a therapist who is addicted to porn. This is a great example of how we affect others and that it is our responsibility to present ourselves free of such things.
Absolutely, we have a huge responsibility to heal ourselves and live a life of integrity, truth and love.
There are quite a few people who prey on the guilt around pornography – currently there are spam emails that (falsely) claim they have filmed people (using their own computer-attached cameras) masturbating and now demand substantial amounts of money to keep quiet.
“how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.” This a truth we all know as it is like visiting a doctor who tells you to give up smoking when you can smell cigarette smoke in his breath.
The more we heal ourselves, the more we are able to assist others to heal themselves.
The most powerful healers are those who have healed themselves in truth and there is nothing that they need to do to promote the healing of others, other than to live their lives in full.
When we don’t have true connection with another we crave something else, this something else can come in many forms – chocolate, alcohol drugs or porn, all will offer a quick release but will ultimately take us further away from our true selves.
Porn harms the body, it harms psychologically, it harms society and it harms relationships.
The impact of pornography has become a normality in main stream movies. Offering us another flavour on romance that is sold as the norm yet the ramifications are far harming when we are led to believe these.
I was told today that there is a movie company who are trying to make a film on a space ship, in space. This is the new thing, and it kind of makes sense, because as life gets more intense and extreme, industries – even pornography – will need to work very hard and try to create what can keep up with the increasing demands of an ever dissatisfied clientele.
Yes, and after a while pushing certain forms of extreme behaviour stop working so that extreme behaviour gets abandoned and everybody moves into a new direction as these activities are inherently tiring and unsatisfactory.
In the national paper of the country I am visiting, the headline news on the front page is that the Government is going to introduce mandatory blocks on web sites because in a recent survey it has been found that boys are inundated on their phones and other electronic devices by porn sites so much so it has become a huge social issue for the country. This has to be a great first step and may be the next step is to find out what is it about our current culture that we feel the need to have these sites. Could it be that the way we are bringing up our children devoid of love and affection leaves them with a inner loneliness, that they then try and fill through other means?
I love the image to this blog, that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. No matter what and how dark it gets or twisted the addiction we can always make the choice to come back to the light as it never leaves us.
A beautiful highlighting about the image, that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and we can choose that at any point.
There are few who have the courage and honesty to put themselves and their behaviours under the microscope in the way that you have in this article. It is deeply inspiring to read your words and observe the process you went through discarding the false layers of ‘self’ that shrouded the otherwise pristine truth from your eyes. We are One and as such what we do to ourselves is done to another and whether that be healing or harming, it is all felt by us all, all the time. As a collective, we are still way off the mark of living with the energetic responsibility required to wipe all abuse off the face of the earth, but experiences such as yours show us it is possible to enable this to occur by the way we each choose to live. Thank you for that which you have reflected for us all to consider.
Pornography is a gross bastardisation of what love is, and it has caused an enormous amount of separation in our society as you’ve shared.
Porn has now been masked in all genres of social and story media as the norm.
There is a certain type of energy felt around people who use and watch porn, its what I call sticky, people think by watching porn alone no-one will know yet there is an unsaid communication that is always playing out and our senses always do know.
Where do people get the example of what true love is and what true lovemaking is? Without being loving during the day we can’t make love in the night. Porn doesn’t reflect love and it isn’t intimate at all. The naked bodies shown are protected, often hardened and the sex shown is usually abusive.
It is true love for ourselves and our ‘brothers and sisters/others’ that allows us to change our behaviors and patterns and lets us connect back to our soul. The love Serge Benhayon has for humanity is beyond words and has inspired me constantly.
It is the lack of and need for intimacy as to why people indulge in porn, until we learn to become intimate and honest within ourselves, we will always be looking outside of ourselves, for what we crave most.
If we stopped seeing unwanted behaviours as dirty or bad, and started to understand what lives underneath, perhaps we’d find our life would change in amazing ways?
Imagine we would get met from young age on, in true intimacy and interest, so many things like porn, promiscuity, total withdrawl, depression and many others would not exist. It is the scream of the soul, that wants to express, to be loved and seen. What if the health system would research about this root cause instead of trying to find solutions to either provide more entertainment and justifications why all this exists or reducing the symptoms?!
I have been made aware recently of an alarming thing that is happening for our young people. More and more women are shaving or waxing all their pubic hair because it is an expected look as people are increasingly accessing porn. What is this saying to our young women about their bodies? That they are ugly and unattractive in their natural state?
Looked at in isolation Pornography might seem extreme, confusing, inexplicable and hard. But when we look at all we do we start to see an obsessive pursuit of stimulation is indemic in all we do. Whether it’s coffee, sugar, work, exercise or stress everything becomes a serious addiction when there’s no love. Thank you Anonymous for this inspiring blog.
That is a great point Joseph. There is this desire for stimulation, that always needs further stimulation to stay interesting and thrilling. If it does not get fed any more exciting attributes we get bored and look for even more extrems. Very much seen in extreme sports also. Or in the available foodrange.
Great observation Joseph, and to add to it I would say that what we considered to be porn 20 years ago are now images that are strewn all over magazines, clothing ads, social sites like Facebook and Pinterest without us even batting an eye at them and considering how harmful these images are in the way they objectify women, over-sexualise what is the ‘expected look’ of a modern women and are actually very demeaning. Our threshold for what we consider porn and to be unacceptable needs to be adjusted.
Such truth needs be shared with the whole of Humanity. What you have gone through is what many have and so you call them to a way out of it – that is simple and actually aware of the harm it has caused. To then see it possible to heal and never go to watching porn again. Not from overcoming the addiction but to actually heal it from within. No excuse can change that we can only heal by connecting to truth by our own will.
To understand, without judgement, what the addiction to porn is, and why it is so prolific is the greatest way to end it and the cycle of abuse that goes with it.
Judgement is a very stagnative pattern as it keeps us in our dilemma and we are never supporting anyone with it. Being absolutely truthful is the only way – who actually has the right to judge? Are there any perfect human beings out there?!
It is so important to talk about the harm porn does. It is abuse on a scale that is all too often considered normal, or part of life.
If we could look at our energy like a chart, most of us would live in a dip with momentary highs where we get stimulated a bit. Whether that is through sugar, music, drugs, sex, alcohol or porn it all takes us away from ourselves and is what we call ‘the norm’. A chart of someone who’s truly connected is steady and strong, consistent, unwavering, even, imperfect but self-sustaining. The difference is huge. Your words here Anonymous show how we just need to focus on the quality we live, going deeper and observing the highs, lows and dips.
“My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.” One day what you share anonymous will be understood by all practitioners – for in truth we are never off duty and how we live every minuite affects the all.
“It was the first time in my life I had heard of this or come across an organisation that considered how what the practitioner does will directly impact upon the quality of healing that is offered to a client.” Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Practitioners Association presents and requires all who are offering the Universal Medicine modalities to be aware of and live in the energy of love and clear of any imposition of harming energy. You cannot clear the windscreen of a car if you are using muddy water.
If we are honest we are intimately familiar with stimulation from a very young age. Whether it is food, toys, words or drama we become masters of knowing how to use outer acts to distract. Getting numb from our true feelings is what we call a good day. Pretty soon we have to get real though, as you did Anonymous and say the things that we’re doing have a toxic effect. Then we are faced with the clear sign – it’s time to stop right away.
It is a genuine reminder Anonymous that the quality we choose to act on will greatly effect whether we provide the space to heal or harm another in all our interactions physical or not.
I love the honesty you share in this blog, to be that open with what was going on in your sessions and how you could feel your choices having an impact on your work and clients. Porn is not this thing that stays behind a closed door or private browser, it gets into every part of life.
A great point about the fact that all our choices are with us always. We cannot close a door on any abusive behaviour and it will have an ongoing effect on us and be felt by others.
Everything we do can have a stimulating effect, depending on the way we live. If we were more honest about this we would not be so surprised by the illicit addictions we gain. The addiction to porn is devastating and insidious as you show Anonymous, but what if our tendency to negative thoughts and low self esteem was just as corrosive to our heart? The bigger picture of intimacy and awareness you point to is the ‘why’ we need to explain.
Yes, it is true there are other things we can use as addictions to distract us from our low self-esteem or loneliness, but I would propose that porn is more insidious than that when it comes to young boys. It works on a false sense of intimacy and then laces all women or girls they see with the image they consider to be intimate or ‘love’. It just caps any potential for true intimacy or love.
It is great that you are sharing how this addiction played out and the effects it was having on you so that this sharing can help others heal this addiction, ”More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones.’
You took a step away from harming people because you had felt the pure love that was in your heart for all the people that would come to see you. This is the best way to change, through the inspiration of love.
The quality of energy with which we live in whether we are a practitioner or not affects everything and everyone. As I become more aware of this truth in my every day it makes me realise of the responsibility I have towards myself and towards others.
I recently had a presentation to do for college and the subject I chose was ‘How our children use technology’ and what I discovered was how easily available porn is on the internet and when searching quite innocently on topics which would not necessarily have a porn related meaning; there it was full-blown porn for anyone and everyone to see. Knowing how hooking porn is, it’s easy to see how people get addicted.
If we heal the root cause why we watch porn and are free of it, it is a gift for others, because we exactly know, out of lived experience, why we did it and how to come out of it. Not judging oneself about past choices and instead offering the wisdom to the world to them who are still stuck in the behaviour is pure gold.
It is really awesome to start to talk about this and to look at why people become addicted to porn, that it is natural for us to express intimacy with others and to see how porn hooks into this but is not it, it is a way of actually avoiding true intimacy.
YES, we need to talk about these things and don´t keep it behind the curtain. Opening up and sharing, will allow another to open up. We all seek these kind of conversations, as the reason why we do things like porn, is because no one talked or connected to each other before.
The addiction of porn can be something that destroys people, relationships, and families. Once we get hooked on the drug it can be super difficult to come off it, it’s considered normal yet creates separation in couples. I used to use porn and the more I did the more empty and drained I felt.
We are all very blessed to have the truth of what healing truly from the teachings as presented by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon
Thankyou Anonymous for your honesty and willingness to own up to your addiction. In doing so you have brought a deeply abusive and dark subject to the fore for all to see, and given an opportunity for a deeper understanding of the widespread harm that such an addiction can and does inflict on others.
There is an unwavering level of acceptance and normalising of this addiction. When we add to the cheeky banter and jovial comments about pornography we are setting a standard of ill truth that harms in more ways than one.
Lots of people would like to change their addiction, but healing the root cause is so vital otherwise we fight against our addiction using willpower, but the understanding and true healing may not be there even if we are able to give up our addiction for sometime. We may even stop one thing but if the root cause is still there we can actually transfer it to another behaviour.
It needs a YES to something else not a NO. The NO only indicates discipline of the mind and is no whole hearted body decision, which would eventually change the behaviour.
So true Stefanie and this applies to everything in life and not just pornography… put simply, the avoidance of love or a greater love in our lives. Healing the YES to love we naturally heal the NO to that which is not love. Thank you for your comment.
Your words Anonymous make me consider if I have healed this energy in me, and whether I am expecting other people and circumstances to change while I continue on with behaviours that are not clear or true. There’s an addictive side to all consciousnesses that are not our natural light but gosh we feel so much greater when we let them go and come back to ourselves. Your words inspire here to commit to coming back to me.
That is a really great point Jospeh that the consciousnesses we align to become addictive, I wonder how quickly we would let these go if we truly felt how harming they were to others, alongside the harm to our own energetic wellbeing.
It makes perfect sense looking at the amount of soft porn that is currently seen in our society that we have many many people craving intimacy but not sure of what this is or how to actually get it.
It is a wonderful thing to be able to look back and give to ourselves the love and understanding that perhaps we did not feel we had as children. In this there can be no blame or judgement. Just simple observations which can lead to even deeper understandings and even more love.
Such a great insight into how captivating and insidious porn really is and how this is encouraged and considered a normal thing for me to do is simply very scary. The objectification of any sex is not acceptable and is feeding a source of abuse.
Anonymous, thankyou for the honesty with which you shared about the destructive effect pornography has on us as a whole from the obvious down to the details of life that we least expect.
To consider the truth of ‘unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of practitioner’s lifestyle choices,’ is so very needed. Yet, we choose to be blind and unfeeling to what is there to be seen and felt, especially if we feel vulnerable and are there in need. Discernment, greater self empowerment and trusting what we feel without overriding our senses is the 1st step to finding true support. Anonymous, your blog goes a long way to address the addiction of porn and the unseen energetic abuse that comes with it. To write so openly takes a lot of courage, thank you for sharing.
This is such an important topic to raise, and the honesty in the sharing is immensely healing to read. It is a conversation about porn we need to really develop, as to date we haven’t recognised the harm of porn on how we relate to others in our relationships. Also how it affects our behaviours and crucially how it will never satiate our desires, but instead feed even more of the same in a hollow search for love and intimacy.
The damage that pornography is doing to individuals and society at large is untold and will show itself to be one of life’s great challenges in decades to come.
The quality we live is the offering of healing that we can tap into every day. The difference being the choice to say yes to this level of responsibility or choose the comfort that is so instant and before long has us questioning and realising how little it does heal.
I used to think porn was ok if it was consenting adults and all that, but I still couldn’t get around the fact of how it truly felt, but not really knowing about energy I would, like many other things I felt, just ignore or bury that feeling. So its great to have the truth about porn and the awful energy that surrounds it exposed for what it truly is.
The saddest part is we think our acts last just for one moment, that we can dip in to something and then leave it again. We like to believe that no-one will know – but what your beautiful words clearly show Anonymous is how every choice, every act carries with it an energy and so does everything we say yes to too. So when we go for a lie, for something that is incredible hard and heavy like pornography we should know the choice is not just ‘for Christmas’ as the saying goes but for life. To reconfigure these things takes honesty, awareness, healing and time. So what do we say yes to today that may be just as toxic as pornography?
The healing power of Universal Medicine is indeed remarkable if indeed we respond with love, truth and wisdom to the messages being delivered; as you did Anonymous. Thank you for sharing your experiences, love, truth and wisdom.
Your honesty enlightens a trap in which many people are involved nowadays. As you reveal here, is the search for intimacy what lies behind this self destructive addiction? Thank you for offering your experience for more people to get inspired with it. The quality you bring now to your clients is felt in your words. Only when we heal our issues and make other choices, we are able to offer a true different way to others.
We cannot truly support another, especially not as a therapist, if we indulge in behaviours that take us out; in this case it was watching pornography but it equally applies to the consumption of alcohol, taking drugs and the myriad of offerings that allow us to check out and not be present in our body.
Great reminder, thank you Katie.
What is out there in the pornography world is diminishing of both women and men, and very harmful. I remember the videos I used to watch were full of dominance over women and every time after I would have to switch off the video straight away because it just felt so vile.
Thank you for sharing your development and evolution around this topic, a much needed conversation to be had and I truly feel that this blog could be shared in many ‘off the shelf’ magazines as it can provide such healing for all.
We really can become addicted to so many things, so easily… The pleasure response chemicals in the brain just get triggered, and so the addiction starts… To be able to wrest ourselves out of the grip of something so physical is a great step forward.
It’s powerful how you knew right from the start Anonymous, that something about Pornography didn’t feel great. The way we treat it with guilt, suspicion and shame tends to distract from our true feelings. It keeps the conversation about what is right and what is wrong, when our body knows the truth all along. Why don’t we come out of the closet and simply say this is seriously harming us? My feeling is this is because there are many of us who still secretly enjoy the adrenalin rush. It’s not until we actually feel the complete and utter devastation pornography causes that we will stop sponsoring it to continue.
The addictive and hooking nature of porn is not fully recognised in our society, in fact many still regard it as harmless, though deep down we all do know and can feel that porn is deeply destructive. Every cell in our body knows the truth yet we can chose to override this by listening to the wayward desire of the sprit and in doing so cause more pain to ourselves and humanity.
Thank you Anon for a very honest sharing, of how porn controlled your life and affected those who came to your practise for healing. It was great for you to feel the harmful effects of the ugly energy of porn passing through you and the harm it was doing to your clients. It is beautiful to know that now you can offer true intimacy to yourself and with integrity offer true healing for your clients.
To speak openly about porn (and many other behaviours we deem as normal) and not take it as something that we do and is part of life and society but see it as the crutch it is we use to get through life is very much needed to break the behaviours we are caught in as a whole of humanity.
We all know when we abuse ourselves but it takes honesty to admit it and self love to heal it.
Thank you for your sharing and lifting a lid on what is happening within our world of ‘support’ services. As a community we do need to look deeper into this and realise that as a practitioner if we have not healed an issue within ourselves we are not then able to truly support another with this.
‘So the images of naked skin gave me the illusion of people being close, meeting each other. In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.’ How awesome that you recognised what was truly going on here. This is a great article. Porn and the watching of it is on the increase and it is being indulged in by younger and younger people. There is also an element of violence that has infiltrated this area so that the images are becoming much more extreme and the parameters of what is accepted and “normal” are changing. So how come these boys and girls at school are in such dire need of intimacy? As adults we need to look at how we are living and how much quality time we are spending with our children as they grow up Are we really meeting them or do we just get by with a superficial kind of relationship? If we tell them we love them do we really stop to consider what love truly is?
You know, I have actually stopped using the phase “I love you” because I know that often I do not treat myself with love, so how can I lie to another and tell them that I love them when I don’t hold that love within?
What you share is absolutely massive. It is complete energetic responsibility, all we do in life effects others. We can not hide our way of life or our choices not matter what we present on the outside, all is felt and all has an effect. And the massive realisation that we cannot offer healing support to others if we are not healing ourselves.
A very open and frank account of porn and the effects it has on others and yourself. I am reading a lot more articles in the news around porn and it’s impacts. How people younger and younger are not only watching porn but bringing what they have seen directly into the world. Some people as young as year 7 are playing at porn movies on each other. I remember still being a kid at that age and I’m now 44. It doesn’t seem to be slowing down and it looks like we are walking further away from a place that truly supports us around this addiction. Many think that porn itself is ok and yet are we truly looking at the impacts or the outplays? Or are we protecting ourselves and are own behaviours.
A beautifully honest and exposing sharing Anon. Only by expressing what is truly going on in our lives can we begin to bring change and healing. What a gift to your clients to take such responsibility!
I really think it is great Anonymous that you have taken the time to express your experience around this very important topic and one that isn’t talked about nearly enough. There is so much pornography that is readily available for everyone and anyone to see these days. We need to keep talking about this, making sure we are exposing what is really going on and the impacts to our younger generations.
Whether it is pornography, sugar, exercise, meditation, television, rage, whatever the addiction… Universal Medicine is quietly there always offering that incredible connection to ourselves that can heal whatever and where ever it is that we have ended up in our search for meaning.
It saddens me that many people miss out on true love, true intimacy and true connection all because they settle for a false form love that in truth never ever satisfies.
No one has ever taught us the true way to make love, as the images and pictures of sex in the world all feel empty and cold. If these are the only images available, what we learn just does not add up to what we know how love feels. I was not able to truly feel love until I have first met myself in intimacy in as many moments as possible in my every day.
The integrity in the way you live that is a requirement of the Esoteric Practitioners’ Association calls for you to be completely honest and truthful to yourself in all that you do.
So utterly amazing to read about your experience through this level of honesty. It is so much easier to bring understanding to acts such as porn addiction when we are given an explanation from the person about how they are feeling and why they choose it. It leaves no room for judgment as everyone can relate on one level or another. If we all communicated more and allowed ourselves to be as vulnerable as you have, there would be so much more access to healing.
What an amazing article, pornography is deeply harming. It hooks us in through the hurts we haven’t dealt with showing us a false “intimacy”. Of which the true form we don’t allow. And as you share, it is incredible what an effect it has on the services we can provide.
There is so much that you have shared here, the state of affairs with regards to pornography in our society today, but also your own journey with it. With porn being so prevalent amongst men, it is not surprising that men are becoming more and more addicted and young men are getting more and more bombarded with unrealistic images of women.
I love the integrity and responsibility that the EPA asks of all it’s members. There is no code of ethics that touches this in the world. There is not one that comes anywhere close, it may look like it in words, but not the lived integrity of the EPA, it’s members, and foundation it has been built and stands on.
As Children we can sense pornography a mile away and as we grow up and become an adult those feelings and images don’t go away on their own. They fester within the body until the time comes to heal them. I can remember as a child being in the presence of men where I felt very uncomfortable. It wasn’t until later that I realised it was the energy of pornography. Pornography goes on everywhere and sometimes it can be quite shocking to sense that particular men are doing porn but what I am learning is not to react but observe and then I see more.
Addictions, the obvious and the not so obvious, are so debilitating. Like you Anonymous I am grateful for the teachings, inspiration and healing powers of Universal Medicine.
The thing is we watch things like porn and believe that all of the feelings stay within our bodies and that we can fool others in seeing us in a certain way and on the surface this works but energetically we are still harming others by the way we live and the thoughts we let in. We are never ever free of the things we indulge in, no matter what we tell ourselves.
Thank you so much for sharing such a needed subject, conversations like this need to be shared because there is nothing out there for men and their relationship with porn, because it is a relationship. The honesty and depth of your sharing has helped me to understand more deeply how this works for men. Its seems the only way is to begin to connect to your natural self and as this deepens so does your relationship with others and love for humanity. This is intimacy.
Energetic quality is very real and we do impact each other by our energetic states. For example if a person walks into a room angry without saying anything, we know that person is angry because we feel it. WE feel the energetic quality. This is going on all the time…sometimes just a bit more subtle.
This is a powerful blog, highlighting what it means to embrace energetic responsibility. The example of how you felt after watching porn and then returning to treat a client is very exposing and supports us to be aware of how our choices affect others as well as ourselves, and how they affect the quality of everything that we do.
Thank you for your awesome sharing! It seems evident that no matter what we try to stop things and behaviour if we haven’t got to the root cause and felt if we are harming ourselves than no amount of motivation will get us through.
You raise a very salient point here Anon, we can not hope to help another unless we have healed our own issues and lack of intimacy we have with ourselves.
Thank you Anonymous for sharing so truthfully and openly; so many lessons for us all. I was particularly inspired by; apart from your amazing transformation; the fact that the quality of our presence, when we meet another, has a huge impact on them. It is either healing or harming.
The EPA is a bastion of energetic responsibility that all other healthcare and service industries should aspire to. Truly leading the way.
It’s amazing to hear you write about the images that would flood you mind when you were with clients; your honesty is deeply appreciated on this. A few letters after a name, a posh reception, or some diplomas on the wall and we hand ourselves over to their care with abandon. Makes you think twice doesn’t it? This blog is an iceberg breaker, that would cause gigantic ripples through all the service industries.
What is so honestly highlighted here is just how prevalent pornography is today and how energy plays a role in everything we do, see and feel around us. Re-connecting to how we feel and the awareness this brings allows us to feel true intimate connections and the energetic responsibility we all have.
Yes Kelly Zarb and this often plays out beyond the confines of the computer screen and is felt in every interaction. The levels of harm that are often downplayed have a far reaching affect not only on the individual who is choosing to watch pornography but those who they are in contact with them.
Thank you for your enormous honesty and self-reflection, highlighting the very real harm that pornography inflicts on our whole society as every relationship we have can be blighted by the harmful illusions it propagates and not just the abuse of people who get caught up in the industry but those who are then pressured to conform or risk retaliation. We need more of these conversations to arrest the alarming trend of normalising and even championing the widespread use of pornography. Not to say don’t do porn, but moreso what is its greater effect, and why would we choose this over learning true deeper connection with another.
It takes a lot of courage to write about a topic that is often seen as the norm in our everyday conversations. Pornography is often treated with chatter that is layered with humour and a cheeky banter that often overrides the harming effects it has on relationships, and perceptions of intimacy. Thank you Anonymous for your deeply honest account of how this addiction clouded the way you lived and the choices you made. It is great to read how taking personal responsibility and applying the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine brought clarity in how we can be with ourselves and each other.
It is great to read this story and feel the deep healing getting intimate with ourselves is having.
“More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.” Anonymous, it is great these conversations are happening more and more, however we need to bring these discussions to schools, to boys and young men too. There was a recent article in a Sydney paper about porn use by young boys on their mobile phone being a great concern for schools where they see students needing their porn fix in between classes, and how it is affecting their way of relating.
This is a powerful article, not only on the effects of porn but on the effects we have always on others by the energetic quality we choose to be in. We have the saying that ‘Joy is infectious’ – and it can be – but so is every other state of being. If i am angry and shoved things around the house in frustration and I then go of to work, that trail is with me, in my body, in my gestures, in everything that I do, and I lace everyone around me with that same energy. This simple fact about us having an effect all the time on everything is overlooked today and we wander about in convenient ignorance — and the result is the exhaustion and malaise societies today are afflicted with.
The other day I was logging onto a computer at work with a colleague’s password which I required – she remarked “no porn” in a jokingly fashion and it made me reflect on how normalised Porn has become, it is no longer a secret obsession it is accepted abuse.
“Each boy would be isolated doing his thing, no communication, no connection.” This shows how we have settled for a false form of happiness – we isolate ourselves and have an experience which we call ‘enjoyable’ or ‘satisfying’ but meanwhile are missing out on connection and communication – which is where the true enjoyment is.
The fact that each boy remained isolated and did not connect with the other boys during their exploration of the porn seems to indicate that at a deeper level they knew it was not in their true nature to be doing that, but also it shows how desperate our youth are for something to either fill that gap of intimacy and not feel the harshness of the world. I can attest to this on a personal level, for sure. It’s a sad state of affairs when we would rather check out for a few minutes to not feel the lack of connection in our lives and with ourselves, and it perpetuates itself then with guilt and shame and using the porn again to not even feel that. A vicious cycle that can be changed only through a commitment to reconnecting with our true essence, something that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has shown us all how to do with such amazing success via something as simple as breathing gently.
The energy of porn is very strong indeed. I know as a woman it can be felt. It may not always be labelled correctly or even known that porn is behind it, but something can always be felt, and it doesn’t feel nice.
Your article is awesome, it challenging something n that may of use ignore, and act like we do not know that we do with the door closed as any impact outside the door. I still can tell myself in pockets that this or that behaviour is okay, not causing ‘much’ harm…but I know I am not being truthful with myself. And I am learning to choose otherwise. Your example with being a therapist and watching porn, and how this impacts on your relationships with clients and all is significant. There are many of us who have watched porn, TV drama and violence, and we know that when we stop to pause that it really has impacted on how we relate to other people, we just don’t what to stop for that moment and admit it. All of our choices matter, thank you for exposing this so beautifully and openly.
The word Porn is being normalised, if you look on the internet, there is porn food, porn cars, porn holidays, anything that supposedly is desired and indulged on is porn. And so it becomes normal to indulge on a huge appetite of distraction and desire, with no responsibility. Porn is evil and abusive, there is not other way of saying it, it diminishes the person being used in exploitation and those who view it, it attempts to reduce our ability to connect with one another. Making it part of the normal language used in social media and life does not make it normal.
“I began to realise that the modalities that I had practiced and experienced before I had come across those taught by Universal Medicine, all the new age, spiritual and shamanistic therapies, seem to work with energy in a way that casts a fog around our energetic awareness in the most deceitful and evil way to make us think we are dealing with the energetic root causes of our issues”
This has been exactly my experiences with new age spiritual therapies, in fact they only ever buried my stuff/issuses deeper into my body. I only became aware of this fact when I started to attend courses by Serge Benhayon And Universal Medicine and began living; The Way of The Livingness.
Thank you Anonymous, it takes a great deal of self awareness and honesty to truly feel the energetic effect of our choices on other people and your account shows us without doubt that there is no private moment, no self indulgence that does not accompany us into our professional lives and affects the quality of our work and our relationships with our clients. The teachings of Universal Medicine make this fact very real and Serge Benhayon is the first person I have ever met who openly talks about the toxic effects of pornography and is the first person I have ever met who feels entirely clear and free of this insidiously damaging pursuit. We all crave intimacy and pornography is a poor substitute. Learning to create an intimate relationship with oneself and then others is the natural and very powerful resolution, when we connect to and feel our own inner warmth and fragility and connect with the immensely rich quality of true intimacy, indulging in sex for the sake of sex looses all its power over us.
Porn has a huge impact on how we grow up and go about with intimacy in life. When I was introduced to porn as a young boy I felt upset and did actually not understand what was shown to me with the images that where presented. But over time I learned that this was part of being a guy and was a normal way of being with sex. I now can see that this consciousness, as I call it, had a hold on me how to be with a woman but never allowed me to be who I felt from deep within, to be tender, open and sensitive but instead always left me with a feeling of emptiness.
The quality of life is our marker to how we are felt by others. Thank you anonymous for being so honest about living in a quality that you knew was not true. How often do we go about our daily life continuing to harm ourselves in ways that prevent others from feeling our true potential and what we all have to offer one another.
If seeking porn is because of a feeling of a lack of intimacy then the recent book and movie ’50 shades of grey’ says a lot about many women who are craving intimacy to be attraced to it. It’s been promoted as ‘soft porn’ but there is no such thing, it is either porn or it isn’t – the energy is the same. The distinction between what is termed as ‘soft porn’ and ‘hard porn’ is the images and acts portrayed in the movies, but it doesn’t change the fact that it is all from the same energy.
I recently watched a mainstream movie about a young man addicted to porn, and how it totally consumed him even though he had an active sex life. The film showed how porn gave him something that he didn’t feel he was getting in his real interactions with women. But what it also showed was how he had lost touch with his tenderness and when he met a women who he connected with that encouraged this tender side of him, he was able to address his addiction and let go of the porn. There is not one ounce of tenderness in porn, and when men reconnect to this innate part of themselves, I feel they no longer need it to make up for the lack of intimacy they feel in their lives.
The EPA not only has a code of ethics that practitioners who work 1-on-1 with clients live and work by. It is for anyone regardless of their profession and encourages anyone who is a member to be a ‘practitioner in life’. This simply means living the code of ethics in everyday life and thereby bringing a quality that doesn’t harm another in everything we do. The EPA code of ethics is like no other.
Thank you Anonymous for bringing this discussion to the table. Pornography is something that I was introduced to when I was in my early teens, I didn’t think anything of it, but on reflection, I can feel now how it totally shaped how I viewed myself as a young women. What I was supposed to do or not do when with a man, what expectations I had of them and myself. Neither being healthy or fostered connection and truly expressing how I felt. This is very different now, but I still can feel the impacts of the pictures that were emblazoned in my mind about what is expected of a woman.
When we become so desensitised by the choices of the masses we often classify this as the norm.
What is written above is not an isolated case – porn addiction is very real and much more common than people would admit to. Teaching children from a young age about self love leaves no space for the need to replace the ‘lost love’ of another with something like pornography.
A pornography addiction is not something that is spoken about publicly the way an alcohol, drug or work addiction can be, for example. It’s seen as seedy and comes loaded with shame or embarrassment. Bravo for addressing this topic in your blog – an important read for us all.
We innately crave love and intimacy, yet can end up looking in the wrong places for it. Great that you have called this out in this blog.
These words are such a revealing observation Anon: “I remember feeling empty, with a sense of guilt and raciness after those experiences, yet I would crave for more because I didn’t have any intimacy in my life. No cuddles with my parents or friends and I was way too shy to enter a relationship.” So often emotions, as ‘unpleasant’ as they may feel, and raciness, as unpleasant that also feels, become a way to mask our emptiness. Such agitation tries to imitate ‘aliveness’ but it is fact has no resemblance to ‘life’ at all, and only serves to shatter the naturally harmonious cells of our body, eventually leading to disease.
What concerns me most about pornography, is that as much as it is an industry in its own right, the boundaries of it seem to be very blurred to such an extent that as members of the general public, viewers of films and TV programs, we are somewhat trained in how to blinker what is pornography and what is not, only looking to the extremes of it for the definition of it, thereby missing the more subtle and perhaps more dangerous forms of it that permeate throughout many of our so called more normal avenues of entertainment.
Anonymous you raise an important and seldom discussed issue. As a woman I can attest to the sleazy energy I have sometimes felt with a few practitioners in the past. It is great that you became self-aware of the effects of the porn, and then healed the root cause once you were drawn to Universal Medicine. It is is so important that it is leading the way by requiring practising members of its accrediting organisation to to be accountable for the quality of life they live. It makes such a difference for the client.
There are so many modalities and treatments available, but how many place integrity at their heart? How many say ‘well you as a practitioner need to be clear and free from this issue for the healing to start’? The Esoteric modalities are like no other I have found and bring a power that is astounding to observe. All this seems to flow from the honesty the practitioners have chosen in their lives. So what if, rather than brushing off or burying our issues like ‘guilty sins’ we simply and openly brought them to light and shared as you do here Anonymous? My feeling is this would begin to break their hold and we would see there is a true way for us to be free from addictions like Pornography.
Porn is an industry that is considered normal, acceptable in the same way as alcohol is, yet they both destroy people, relationships, families and society. Having been involved in both I know this to be fact. You get caught in a vicious cycle, a seeking of that relief from the tension or life. Yet before Universal Medicine the real truth was never spoken about, not that you are a bad person to turn to these things but asking what is behind the need to seek relief in the first place. Why is life not already full, why do we want to escape. I used to justify something was causing no real harm, yet the truth is anything that is not supporting me to be who I truly am is harmful to not only myself but all those I meet. I love the integrity you’ve taken in your commitment to healing yourself and being their to truly support your clients.
“But how could my clients heal from sexual abuse when I needed to heal this within myself to then be able to truly support their healing?” This shows much integrity of thought and feeling for yourself and your clients. What if all practitioners approached their work in this way surely the outcome for so many would be so different?
There is an arrogance that many of us hold that allows us to think that we can quietly do the very things that we know cause problems for the rest of society. So we drink moderately, not thinking that what we are doing is contributing to violence on our streets. We watch porn occasionally, thereby supporting an industry that causes harm to so many. And so forth, not realising that ever person who contributes to the pool, contributes to the whole, no matter how small their contribution. No wonder then that a practitioner who themselves has not fully denounced the use of porn cannot assist another in truth with their addiction.
Adam, you’re spot on. It’s as simple as cause and effect, something we learn at a young age. But we don’t always see it like that – if it can’t be seen we have a habit of dismissing it. But, there is always a consequence.
I feel this is an incredible article outlining the need for energetic responsibility in all that we do, whatever profession we are in. I have not watched much porn over the years, but the few times I have watched it, I have felt the hardness in the bodies of the participants and the falseness of it, which always made me feel uncomfortable. I feel it is such a shame that both men and women alike, are portrayed in this way. When as a student of Universal Medicine, I have come to realise that when we connect to our innate beauty inside and bring that out in all we do, this brings far more connection to ourselves and others and is much more intimate and rewarding than anything outside of us could possibly offer us.
“What many men call normal, for me always felt like an addiction.” This must be the experience of many men but very few are open to sharing and talking about their experiences as you have. Your honesty is completely refreshing about a sensitive subject and you bring much clarity and understanding.
It’s great to have more men talking about things they are feeling as you are saying, “More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.” This will support us moving through the things that stand in the way of us as men. The talking part is just the first part as you are saying and then next is what are we going to action out of that talk. It’s one thing to expose something we feel and then another to action the next part or feeling. Otherwise we tend to talk about the same thing for years and feel nothing has changed. It’s not about giving something up cold turkey either but more changing the way we treat ourselves which then leads to a natural change in what we do. As this blog exposes the healing itself bought about the release of the porn addiction, which was something that was already felt and in fact wasn’t new. We are about returning to something we know and not the creation of something new.
If your life is void of connection and true intimacy, it is easy to see porn as nothing more than a healthy pastime that helps bring one pleasure. And that it does – albeit at a cost – a cost to one’s ability to connect to oneself and others. It is junk food for the heart, and just like junk food, it effect on the heart and its ability to remain open is just as real.
I am sure I have commented here before but I have just read a book on the affects of porn on men’s health and mental health and how it is feeding the cycle of violence towards women, and just had to share how all of you have felt through your own experience being shared, by men the world over. I hope this conversation continues so that men who find themselves addicted are able to feel what a true connection in love, which has no end, feels like over a physical release which just needs to be fed more.
It is incredible how damaging are the detrimental effects of looking outside of ourselves for love. They annihilate any chance for true intimacy and leave us very alone in a world full of beautiful people.
Porn is the great deceiver, and entices many a man who does not know the strength of his own love, nor let in the love of another.
What I love about what Universal Medicine teaches, presents and lives is how we can hold everything in love and with understanding. Therefore, a harmful energy like porn that is usually so powerful can be reduced in size simply by being debased and exposed for what it is.
This is a such a world breaking blog, it is incredible honesty and exposes something that is rife in our communities, believing we can live one way behind closed doors to that what we live face to face. There are no walls.
Thank you for your honesty here and exposing how a practitioner can be addicted to porn whilst ‘looking the part of a healer on the outside’, showing the importance for all to feel energetically who they choose to see as a practitioner.
The quality we choose to live in is so important, not only as a practitioner, but in our life as a whole, after all we are all connected, everything is energy.
The integrity and commitment to people in this blog is amazing. You could have easily continued on with using porn, as who knows what you do privately? But as you describe, we are always effecting the people around us and so we chose to take responsibility and be acceptable for all our movements, so that the energy we bring never has another person.
‘More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with’. Absolutely, this is the way to go – if we begin to talk openly and honestly the force of porn has nowhere to hide.
Wow, what an incredible discovery of energetic truth about how the way we live affects those around us, Anonymous. What a beautiful safe space you have created in your treatment room, and how blessed are the clients that are coming to you.
Porn is a huge allure for men – which makes complete sense when you break it down and realise that underneath porn is a search for intimacy. Men spend their lives in general developing a lifestyle and demeanour that diminishes their natural ability to be intimate. What is interesting in modern times, is that women are starting more and more to do the same thing, reflected in the fact that women are now watching porn in greater numbers than perhaps ever before.
This goes along with the observation that women are also less intimate with each other, there is more hardening in a women’s day-to-day life, tatooing, beer drinking, sporting, piercing, smoking than before. Things that were previously more used in the men’s world to harden are now much more common for women.
I love your honesty anonymous in this sharing. I think we all can feel that dirty energy that comes through porn and through the people who watch it. “Nobody had ever told me that this was possible, but it was so awkward and real that I didn’t need proof of this other than my lived experience.” If we are honest enough we will see we know everything that is going on in our lives on an energetic level. Which I find very empowering and confirming as it gives us the power back to choose to live responsible which is more rewarding than anything from the outer can every be.
Porn is very numbing. It drains you and it puts very strong images into your head so it is very easy to distract yourself afterwards. What we don’t know is how much damage this causes.
It just goes to show that there is absolutely nothing we can ‘hide’ or keep to ourselves. Everything is felt by everyone – even ‘our thoughts’ are not our own, and cannot be contained in the mind alone. There is always an energy behind every thought, action, choice that is sensed by all.
‘I began to realise that the modalities that I had practiced and experienced before I had come across those taught by Universal Medicine, all the new age, spiritual and shamanistic therapies, seem to work with energy in a way that casts a fog around our energetic awareness in the most deceitful and evil way to make us think we are dealing with the energetic root causes of our issues.’
This is so true, and in my experience, no other form of energy work brings the level of clarity to one’s choices and thus energetic responsibility in every part of living.
“I would want such a safe space for every single person on earth, so that nobody ever again has to suffer unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of their practitioner’s lifestyle choices.” It is our responsibility to discern the energy not only of the practitioners we choose but everyone we engage with.
I do not watch porn but I can feel the energy of it imposing on me through other people. There is a ‘home visit client I used to work with where a lot of pictures of the couple and kids were hanging on the walls. I found it very difficult to look at them. I could feel a weird sexual energy in their eyes that made me turn away and sometimes I could not even bring myself to enter their bedroom.
The 2 young children in this home were regularly waking up exhausted, extremely agitated and not wanting to be touched. It took me while to put two and two together that the parents were into porn and ‘kinky’ sexual practices, the energy of which were affecting the children and me too.
Such is the insidious nature of the harmfulness of porn.
Such is an undeniable example of Serge Benhayon’s teaching that ‘Everything is energy’.
As a man learning to be intimate with self can be quite challenging at the beginning as it requires us to let go of the tough armour of protection we have built around us and surrender to the gentleness and loveliness within us, once we get it there is no return for we have come home where we belong.
Anything less than a true connection with another will leave us feeling empty. So even if the interaction looks like people are connecting, if they are not really meeting one another, then they will feel empty and look for something else to fill the emptiness.
What you’ve exposed here anonymous is the lack of responsibility amongst practitioners of many modalities. How many practitioners can say that they take responsibility in all areas of their lives, in a way that means when they work with clients, they are not coming laced with alcohol, smoking, pot, porn, overeating or generally not dealing with their own stuff? That’s where the EPA holds practitioners of the esoteric modalities to…it is a very high standard that is not matched in other associations.
Porn is one of those very de-sensitising activities many people take part in either overtly or secretly behind closed doors. It is devoid of all intimacy and is a fake and poor substitute for it. It changes the way we view making love and takes away our natural tender delicateness of making love to making it all about the physical pleasure rather than the connection between 2 people.
Porn is something that we have made an industry of to avoid responsibility of what true intimacy is. We have gone so far as to develop an entire way of being close to each other that is actually very harming. And then to have that as something theatrical that people watch just adds to the whole sucking people in.
We let love making be reduced to the physical act, and then we let that physical act be reduced to sex, and we let sex be reduced to porn. But what we truly crave underneath all of it is the intimacy that can be there in cooking together or walking together. It is by building that up that we can truly start to bring intimacy back into our lives and then we can say no to what is not loving.
It’s great anonymous you have shared your insights, as its not a conversation too many are prepared to have because it’s a secret, which has allowed this industry to grow and infiltrate our lives even down to the once innocent children.
It really highlights that we are missing intimacy and being met and this is the reflection of the state of our society we have allowed and by compliancy created.
As honest as we can get about our habits and addictions – we can equally become honest about the fact that we have created a society that fosters all of the above. There is really no excuse. And no blame either, which keeps things light!
What we get up to behind closed doors we think we can keep a secret but it is energy and everything is energy which can be read and felt, a revelation that would lift the lid on thinking we are able to hide our secrets, this awareness would bring transparency and a responsibility to our hidden actions and thoughts.
It’s amazing the effect that porn has had on all our lives and there are very few people untouched by it. It is now the industry that educates children from primary age, teaching about what sex is and how men and women should treat each other. I have definitely been in reaction to porn, thinking that getting rid of it would benefit us all but Serge Benhayon has given me a true understanding of why we produce and consume porn so much- and that is due to disconnection and a lack of intimacy in our lives, when in fact connection and intimacy are what we deeply crave. This has helped me bring far more understanding to people who engage in it, and yet again Universal Medicine has supported me to understand people’s choices and connect to people once again.
It is so ironic that in our search for connection we settle for watching others performing a facsimile of connection, and end up feeling completely disconnected.
Thank you Anonymous for being so honest and open: “So the images of naked skin gave me the illusion of people being close, meeting each other. In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.” I am wondering how many people are in truth craving intimacy instead of making sex or porn without knowing it.
The problem of pornographic images is much worse today because it is now accessible on-line. A UK charity survey ‘ of more than 1,000 children aged 11-16 found that at least half had been exposed to online porn. Almost all (94%) of this group have seen it by age 14’ The ready accessibility of on-line porn by young children and people leaves a generation world-wide corrupted, de-sensitised and with distorted ideas of how to relate to other human beings. This is a distressing and disturbing scenario and yet those with the power to make changes, are not prepared to do so.
I can’t believe how well the photo attached to this blog relates to the actual blog. I keep looking at it and seeing many things and I don’t think you could’ve chosen a better one. It’s great to have a blog bringing in a conversation like this but also for it to be supported on other levels and the photo does that. There must be an entire team behind blogs like this and for them I am also thankful for the work they do.
Thanks anon, this is a great account of taking responsibility in life and live with integrity in the way we live for in truth we can not hide and live in parts as everything we do behind closed doors comes with us in everything we do in our daily lives whether we like it or not.
This is a powerful and honest blog, about the abusive and damaging consequences of porn and the way that it affects not only the person using it to find relief from their lack of intimacy in their lives but of those around them who still get affected by the imposition of this energy. Thank you for sharing
Porn is addictive and degrading to both men and women. Growing up I wasn’t exposed to many (if any) couples who were truly in love, so I kinda though that porn was how you ‘made love’. This lead to me in effect endorsing all kinds of abuse unnecessarily. It has and is taking me a long time to discover what true love and intimacy is in a relationship. I see the ill combination of the increased access to porn through mobile phones and the lack of truly loving relationships taking its toll on the next generations. When I hear young women say things like.. ‘he is really respectful, he was even ok with not having sex on our first date’ it confirms to me the impact porn is having on adolescents.
Like all things of addiction there is an allure, and the allure of pornography is the temptation of intimacy. What happens when we accept desire? It needs more and more to please, and more and more extreme versions are accepted.
We cant imagine a young and beautiful child watching porn, and it would be deemed as completely outrageous to expose them to it, but yet we are that person who grew up, one has to ask what makes it okay when we get older that such horror (pornography) is accepted as normal?
What you have shared feels really important for all of us, Anonymous. No matter what industry we are in, how we live behind closed doors is going to undoubtedly affect those we come into contact with, whether they are clients, customers or our family members. It is impossible to do anything ‘in secret’ as everything has a ripple effect, and so to experience the truth of this as you have done is a great step towards energetic responsibility and integrity.
Energetic responsibility is a word rarely used if at all known in society. To many who understand the enormity of our responsibility it is like garlic for vampires! Whereas in truth it sets us free from everything we ever suffered from and allows us to step out of the shadows and be light again.
One of the many things of note in this article is the fact that the author never would have sought out porn if it had not been for the pull of the group of boys… as individuals I doubt this initial foray into porn would have ever happened (the author felt the emptiness) but in their ‘pack’ they extended their isolation from true intimacy further (never speaking to each other about what they were doing). For me, it is extraordinary the lengths we will go to to artfully avoid those things we yearn for most.
“In truth, I was craving intimacy.” This is such a great insight into why we are drawn to porn in the first place. Is it possible that with our fast paced lives that involve less connection and intimacy with others than ever before the demand for porn has increased?
We think we can get away with things like porn, because we do it at home while nobody is watching us. But there is no such thing as doing things secretly as everything we do has an impact on everything. How I am with myself tonight and the choices I make will have an impact on my day tomorrow and my work. We cannot escape energy, as everything is energy. When I secretly eat a lot of food tonight, that will have an impact on how I wake up tomorrow…and how I go to work.
A very beautiful account of true self discovery, awareness and responsibility. From reading your blog I gained a greater understanding of the ills and perceptions of porn.
Thank you anonymous for exposing the harmful and destructive energy of porn addiction; in fact any addiction.
Thank you Anon for your powerful exposure of harming effects that watching porn had on yourself and others . This is so important to share as is the inability of new age therapies to get to the route cause of any issue. Also this is a great living testimony to the power of connection and the integrity of the Esoteric Practitioner’s Association.
To me this reads similar to any other addiction you are never satisfied and constantly craving more and more. Something that offers this type of thing can’t be anything that is deemed ‘good for you’ or supportive in anyway. This is a very honest account of how someone was and now is and I appreciate what has been said here. Universal Medicine don’t give power to the addiction or give the cure, they simply bring the responsibility back to how we are. This supports many people to let go of things like this because they can see what is truly going on and offers them the space to make another choice.
During my teenage years and early twenties myself and friends would always say how at least porn didn’t affect anyone else, sure we would feel drained and wiped out but we convinced ourselves it hurt no-one. Yet when you bring energy into the mix, when you look at the truth – the fact is porn affects, hurts and drains everyone in our life and around us.
What a great example of ‘everything is energy’ and how healing it is when we live from the responsibility of knowing this.
Porn really is one of those very disconnecting things – in finding stimulation through the visual, we cut ourselves off from those around us who are real, and who we can connect with and experience life with in a real way.
This is a BRILLIANT point Rebecca, it cuts us off with our surroundings where real connection is possible!
Thank you very much anonymous for so clearly explaining that the fascination with porn comes out of feeling a lack of intimacy and settling for something that does not have an ounce of intimacy but is good at mimicking it – and at the same time explaining the harming and addictive impact. It would be so great if in society we talked more like this and we were more honest and aware about the real issues beneath our choices. It would be useful to know we have a sugar and coffee addiction because we are so exhausted, that we have an addiction to entertainment because we seek to distract ourself from the ache of living far from the joy and connection we know deep down is our birthright, and it would be very useful to know that porn addiction is because we are craving the intimacy our life is missing.
I doubt there are many articles out on the internet that give us such an intimate and revealing exposure of pornography, its harm and importantly its effect on the person watching it and from this their effect on others they meet and in this case treat. I know from my experience watching porn that I would feel very unsettled in my body and my mind afterwards, and could feel how there was this pull to watch more and more, even though none of it ever satisfied. Quite evil really and not something that is widely acknowledge for the harm that is causes. I wouldn’t want to be offering anything like a treatment to anyone after watching porn and the energetic outcome of watching it has to be a diminishing of our quality in the actions we undertake. I certainly felt this was strongly the case for me.
The energy of porn is so strong, how can it not affect our relationships with friends, colleagues, clients and intimate partners? How can we make love if the energy of porn is within us? It is infiltrating to the point of controlling as you have portrayed here. It needs to be recognised as the harmful past time that it is.
When I was very young I was ‘educated’ so to speak from a few sex-comics I found as well and it is horrifying to me how hard it is to get this energy out of the body again. I found that one thing that I did hope to find in sex is the intimacy I was longing for and the other thing is the relief. There was so much tension in me because I did not live in harmony that I was searching for a relief desperately.
But with relief it is the same like with sex – it does not last that long and then you need more. And more and more…
To live these days in a relationship with true intimacy is a blessing for me – and it is all done by my choice to take responsibility about my way of living. Thank God for Universal Medicine that inspired and supported me and my partner here.
‘No healing modality that I ever came across, neither at University nor around the world during my studies of alternative medicine, ever asked that I not watch porn, or engage in other activities, because of the harm it would cause me and my clients.’
This is so true. And it just shows the level to which we ignore what we feel because we give our power over to a practitioner or professional. I used to work in a health spa, in which I knew already which therapists I would allow to touch me and others which I would definitely not allow to touch me. This had nothing to do with technique or skill – yet everything to do with integrity and the way in which they lived their lives. The energy of pornography can be tangibly sensed and it doesn’t make sense to me that this is not discussed in any field of study in regards to the impact it has on self and others.
“I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.” I would never had agreed with the, not sex, several years ago Anonymous, as when I was in a long term relationship quite some time ago, sex made everything all better and gave me the feeling that I was loved. It was a confirmation that I relied on a lot to confirm that my relationship was fine and that I was happy within it. When I look back now, the sex gave me absolutely nothing because I was never a part of it, it was just an action that at the time pleased the body but never connected me to my truth, and in fact took me further away and was actually an abuse on my body because of the energy that is connected to sex and how it can get in and take you over. With the connection I have with my body now, there is no way I would choose that for myself as I know how precious, honouring and amazing it is express my own loving essence in so many other ways, like how I move and hold myself. Sex for me is not an option, but making love is, in all ways, every day.
The porn industry is huge and yet it is something that is hidden, shameful and not talked about. This indicates to me that we all know the harm that pornography brings to the world so surely it is time we openly discussed why it is so wise used. This courageous blog is such a sound platform to start the conversation. Thank you for sharing.
I had not understood just how harmful pornography was until I actually allowed myself to feel the evil that it is. Watching a program on how pornographic films are made and the women involved are treated left me feeling nothing less than disgust. I remember that the women somehow got trapped into the industry and the quality of their lives felt no different to that of a prostitute. I recall that they were forced to take risks to their health and well being for the sake of a certain shot. This was abuse being filmed in the name of entertainment. It is a gross industry which when you feel the extent of harm that it brings should be something the whole world is up in arms about – rather than something that is accepted as a form of entertainment.
When you put it like this Anonymous, the fact that we can ‘have it all’ but then still find ourselves pulled to something that leaves us feeling horrible is really revealing. Instead of focussing on guilt or shame we can ask why is it we go for Porn at the end of the day? This non-judgemental way transforms the conversation and allows us to see there is something deeply nurturing, fulfilling and strong that we all miss inside of ourselves. Porn is not a misdemeanour or aberration but a clue leading you back to the real you that has been lost for too long.
Yes, it is amazing what areas of our lives are open to healing and what the consequences of those healings are. Life is much nicer and more loving than I ever thought possible when I was young – and I thought I was ambitious in my dreams then.
Women use pornography too. I was invited with a group of women to a friends house for dinner to find the after dinner entertainment was watching pornographic films. I felt insulted and was angry and I suspect others were too But we said nothing,. I calibrated with the group’s acquiescence, rather than speak out or leave. I held back at a time in my life when I wasn’t able to feel and express what was true for me and speak it. Thanks to Universal Medicine, I am no longer the woman that is afraid to speak up, stand out and expose abuse in all its forms. In my experience, pornography is often introduced as something ‘normal’ ‘entertaining’ ‘everyday’ and not seen as the dark, evil and deeply abusive force that it is for both men and women. Anonymous, thank you for your honesty and for allowing me to re-visit and share the roots of my own experience with pornography.
I remember well the first time I became aware of pornography, it was after a death in the family. When clearing the house of someone close to me, we found pornographic magazines. It was a shock at the time, but on reflection and from a young age, I knew from the way this man looked at me, he was not safe to be around or get close to and always kept my distance. Another time I was introduced to pornography in my late teens by a boyfriend, much older than me, again I was shocked, but wanting to please used the magazines. I knew from within that it was wrong, but without a solid inner foundation, I wasn’t able to express my feelings. Decades later and in my 50’s another partner attempted to move me the direction of visiting pornographic websites. Now able to discern for myself what is true and what is not, and with a sound inner sense of self, I ejected these persistent requests and eventually the man too.
I love it when I see in newsagents windows signs with the words ”Porn Free’. We all have a choice and can refuse to participate or support pornography for self gratification or gain.
I remember feeling empty, with a sense of guilt and raciness after those experiences, yet I would crave for more because I didn’t have any intimacy in my life. No cuddles with my parents or friends and I was way too shy to enter a relationship. What you share here anonymous is a very important point. Most of us crave true intimacy in our lives and we think we are getting this with touch and sex, and as boys transition into young men, adults can draw back, held in the belief that they don’t need that closeness anymore as they are adults now which can confuse and isolate them and send them seeking it elsewhere.
“In truth, I was craving intimacy”. It is lovely the understanding you have for yourself, anonymous, and you do not blame yourself for indulging in porn. If we see the truth of such a behaviour it can easily fall away once we find the root cause of it.
“My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is” not just to offer healing but in every interaction. Your blog shows how the body does know what is true, for even though you were addicted to porn you had a sense that the energy of it came through your body and affected your clients.
Relationships teach me about who I am; they reflect to me a confirmation of what I know is true or just the opposite! Porn is all about relationships that can never connect to the truth of our loving origins and is therefore nothing but a false game to shield us from the emptiness not wanting to be felt.
It’s interesting that no one ever talks about watching porn, it’s as if it is a secret and best not shared, yet it is a massive global industry, far bigger than the mainstream movies.
Porn addiction is a rarely talked about topic yet it affects so many of us either directly or indirectly. It is high time that we start to call out that this issue more in our daily lives and what you have shared here is a great start. This issue affects us all and it is only ever going to be healed in full in society through working, connecting and deeply supporting each other with it
“I would want such a safe space for every single person on earth, so that nobody ever again has to suffer unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of their practitioner’s lifestyle choices”… now that’s true energetic responsibility Anonymous, and I feel that the day will come, when all practitioners will stand by their principles and practice with full energetic integrity both to their clients and themselves, well said.
Thank you for the honest and open account of your journey with pornography addiction. This makes sense of the fact that many if not all of the habits that we sense are not alright by us are so difficult to drop. Because the habit itself is not what is driving us. It is the undealt with issue beneath it. This is a profound truth that is not acknowledged nearly enough.
I appreciate the honest sharing anonymous, the blog was awesome in revealing the reason why porn is used by many and what was just as important is the awareness of the energetic harm of porn
I have also noticed how porn leaves a sense of shame so that people will often hide that they watch it, shame keeps this harmful game hidden. When we release judgement we can see that the need to watch porn is simply a cry for more real, true connection and real intimacy. The world is craving more true loving relationships sense the dramatic rise in porn.
Thank you Anon for your blog, so honest and true for all of us, when we face what we are truly addicted to. It is great to bring out into the open for all to read an reflect on. Letting go of our addictions that ones we are aware of and those that are still hiding within us. For me being addicted is hiding our truth from ourselves and all we have to do is feel what is there to see that is hiding below our addiction. Re-imprinting old ways to new ways of being.
Thank you Anonymous for writing this, I had a similar experience in that I was introduced to pornorgraphy at quite an early age. It was something that I felt I was way to young at the time to truly comprehend, but only when reflecting now do i fully appreciate what it truly did. “In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.” I could really relate to this line, I know that I too was craving intimacy, I didn’t feel that within myself at all, it was something I wanted to feel more deeply from my family, but was not getting it there either. So would go away into fantasy land and live in my head, this was very destructive and took a lot time to move away from a lot of the imagery that was implanted there.
It is fascinating that we have never really questioned this- today we have psychologists etc who are there to support people to change patterns- before Universal Medicine started talking about it, I had never considered that to really support someone to shift a pattern you need to offer them inspiration and to do this- you need to be free of that pattern yourself.
Pornography could not be so widespread and seen as so normal unless it played on a chief characteristic in human nature that has kept our world from evolving in love. That weakness is constantly feeding each other that we are incomplete in ourselves and need stimulation from a mass catalogue of images of life to feel ok. The emptiness this illusion of being incomplete brings, is that love and intimacy cannot be lived in the simplest of smiles, touches, glances or playful gestures to each other, friends and strangers alike. When we live this way, we would never stare at a screen to get off on another persons sex pursuit, and would clearly see such exploits as devoid and empty of love and true intimacy.
The widespread use of porn in our society and even the sexualisation of the music industry, the advertising industry and the way young people now interact with each other show the enormous lack of intimacy we have allowed to become our normal way of life. The only way t turn it around is to reconnect with ourselves and from there with each other just as Anonymous has shared they did.
A true practitioner knows that their own way of life and the choices they make everyday impacts every sessions they offer. I used to think that this was only so during my sessions and that what I choose outside of them, on evenings or days off, did not matter. But our quality is build by the cumulation of all our choices and this will be so in every moment. What I choose to live today will be in my sessions in the days afterwards.
It will be so amazing when the whole world is willing to look underneath the addictions we live with, as you have Anonymous. It is only in the last year or so that I have realised the extent of my own addictive behaviour even though I do not smoke, drink, take drugs, eat gluten, dairy or sugar, or watch a lot of TV. The only way to truly leave addictive behaviour behind is to do as you have done Anon – find out what is driving the addiction and deeply re-connect to our true being. It is the willingness to observe and look beneath, without judgment, that frees us all.
Porn addiction is a huge issue, but what strikes me about your blog is how simply this fell away with support to truly connect to yourself. This is the simplicity, effectiveness and power that Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have to offer the world and its seemingly complex issues.
It does not bare thinking about how easily school children can access porn on their mobile phones these days, and the messages they pick up in regards to having a relationship in the future. From what you have written here Anonymous being addicted to porn is like having a third person in a relationship only the other one can not see them, but they can sense there is something not quite right.
This is such a great sharing and should be published in a psychology magazine. Trying to still your craving for intimacy by seeing all this naked skin is such valuable information that really supports to understand where this addiction is coming from. And your own experience of feeling abusive due to the energy of porn you were carrying in you is for sure something most of the people watching porn are feeling. It is juts not talked about and it is absolutely time to have an open discussion on this. Thank you for starting the conversation.
It makes total sense that to truly support one to heal sexual abuse you need to have healed it within yourself first.
Pornography is such a taboo subject and by its very nature is secretive and hidden, yet it has become so common and normal especially with the internet. Anonymous, your honest sharing about this difficult subject brings much light and understanding to why addiction happens in the first place and is a great step forward in dealing with this issue.
‘But why was I still watching porn? I had tried countless disciplines to let go of this habit’ – This is a super important point and question to ask. Similar to other addictions and possible distractions – alcohol, smoking, TV, food, over-exercise, over-working etc., as you’ve presented in your blog if we do not look at the underlying cause and our relationships with ourselves (or lack of) that leads to us seeking out the distraction then the behaviour can be very difficult to shift. Maybe the best way to approach addictions is not to focus all of our attention on stopping the behaviour, but rather look at what is the CAUSE of the emptiness that makes us reach for a ‘filler’/distraction.
When one comes across the EPA Code of Ethics it makes you wonder how every ethical framework in the world could not possibly be to the same level of integrity. How could someone not consider energetic responsibility before they put their hands on a client? The EPA is setting new standards that are really just bringing us back into line with common decency and respect for one another, reminding the professional world what it looks like when we truly make our work about love.
Pornography is a massive industry which just shows us how many people there are that deeply crave the richness of being met with intimacy. Intimacy is reduced to the physical act of sex in porn. I really appreciate all that is being shared here – we need many more conversations like this on this topic as this industry is hurting people on many levels. I remember feeling from my experiences with porn that alot of the women especially looked like they were quite drugged up and needed to be to put themselves through what they do.
It is remarkable how clear it was to me when presented as an energetic fact, that how we live impacts far beyond what we see, be it watching porn, drinking alcohol, even being grumpy with another. All these are energetic imprints and if we are in a certain energy from a choice we make we are likely going to unload that energy onto another. If we are a practitioner working with people, it is a huge level of responsibility and one that we need to wake up to in the world. Practice what you preach has never been clearer.
That is a strong statement, to say energetically we can not bring in one part of our life and something else then in another part, like we can not be truly helpful for someone as long we are not clear with ourselves. As you said you could feel the energy of porn (abuse) in the room with your clients, because you brought it in, because you carried it, because you chose this (in another part of your life). So what we chose in any second is what we carry and offer in every other second. This is such a huge responsibility – and makes so much sense to me. It also means that the clarity, care, love and responsibility I choose is offered to everyone I meet on my way. We are so powerful! And we deny it. But we count. And every choice of us counts. Actually this is very beautiful.
Anonymous I feel that the way that you have stripped back the subject of pornography has gone to great lengths to lessen it’s hold. This type of expose is what’s needed for every topic. We need to re-examine every-thing, equipped with our tools of honesty, responsibility and love and then the things that are not made from truth will simply crumble and at the end of the day only the things borne of truth will be left.
Thank you for sharing such a powerful and healing article on pornography. We inherently know that which is loving yet we ignore and override the feelings and then it becomes an addiction. We talk about it and then that confirms that it is ok to do yet all along we know otherwise. Speaking up lovingly and not holding back I greatly admire in this blog exposing the evil pornography is having on us as a society that many are oblivious to.
Anonymous, it feels really uncomfortable reading of your experience with clients when you were under the influence of porn. It is a great example of how what we do in our personal lives has a huge impact on everything that we do. In this case the energy of porn had entered your body and was manipulating your thoughts and possibly your actions. Very dangerous when you happen to be a practitioner that people come to for healing. I applaud your honesty. This needs to be talked about. How many practitioners are out there providing a service for the general public who are under the influence of porn? It is seriously irresponsible and needs to be called as such. As far as I am aware the EPA are the only professional body who recognise this as malpractice. This is why I will now only go to a practitioner who is registered with the EPA. The integrity is second to none.
Discipline or the ability to use the mind to stop any harmful behaviour simply does not work. I have tried it and it worked to begin with but it didn’t last as there was a constant battle and tension going on within my body. Healing the root cause as in this case the lack of intimacy in ones life is true healing and this requires a loving dedication to oneself to be open and honest.
This blog is a testament to the healing you have done. Thank you for your strength and openness in sharing with much detail the effect porn was having on you and your work as a practitioner. Porn is just one of many ways we become effected energetically and then, because energy is energy, we are bringing this to all we meet. A dedicated and committed practitioner like yourself is who I would want to visit for true support and healing.
Seeing something from a different perspective can really change your previous view about addiction, what once felt like an innocent pastime can be seen as it truly is. Great that your heart was open enough to feel what you were doing, if we talked more openly about these things we would be more open to what is truly going on.
This is a great blog Anonymous very honest and lovely to read how you knew you needed to take responsibility for your addiction and your choices. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are dedicated in assisting us to uncovering the root cause, and from there we are able to under stand the choices we make and how we can make more self loving choices.
Many of us have suffered lack of intimacy during childhood. For many (today’s science of psychology included) this is the explanation for most of the incongruent behaviors we carry as adults. Who dares to ask the question about why the children’s environment lacks intimacy in the first place? Isn’t it time for science to mature and take past life choices into the equation to bring back responsibility into our lives?
Not to mention the fact Anonymous that you have highlighted the significance of energetic integrity when it comes to the helping professions… something Universal Medicine has been teaching and leading by example for over 15 years. They are the first organisation to do so in my knowledge and certainly in my experience, and I too had practised a range of modalities prior to learning what I have with them. It is not so popular though to speak of such things, as many do not want to give up their private lives and the various so-called secret habits. Understanding that everything is carried with you into the consultation room, and is felt and has an effect, is an outright game-changer to me. And I have seen and felt first hand the enormous power inherent in a session where the practitioner is taking full responsibility for this, and makes choices to live in such a way that their every word feels profound and instrumental in my healing process.
This also makes me reflect on the degree to which we’ve become desensitized to abuse, to what abuse actually means. As I see it, we are so dulled by the distractions and noise all around us, by our food, our conversations, or entertainment and by our daily habits that our bodies no longer register a level of abuse that is occurring at an energetic level. Being spoken to harshly or aggressively, a door being shut in anger around us, being touched in a way that is without regard for the precious being we are within… to me these are all symptoms of the dulling we have allowed. Healing this, and restoring a deeper awareness and sense of everything in life is badly needed if we are to begin addressing the current situation many people are existing in, in life today.
Thank you Anonymous for the depth of honesty you’ve shared here, bringing out of the closet something that is generally taboo to speak of. To understand the energetic responsibility we have to everyone around us, regardless of our profession, is an element sorely missing in our understanding and acceptance of porn being a personal and private matter. What you show is that it is not, and that our level of discernment has been substantially dampened, something Universal Medicine Therapies have been pivotal in unveiling for me as well.
True intimacy changes lives – profoundly loving, tender and cherishing. An honest and inspiring blog exposing how we are manipulated by the society we live in and the separation it promotes.
What you have shared in your blog anonymous is very courageous and shows the level and dedication you have as a practitioner and to be of true service to others. It is with honesty and sharing our experiences with pornography that we can start to expose the true harm that it does, as its insidious grip it has over us is that we feel a shame around looking at porn and therefore it remains secret, hidden and un-exposed.
Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Practitioners Association, have the highest level of absolute integrity, duty of care that is not only when the practitioner is with the client as is the case with most practitioners. The EPA members and practitioners actually are required to live 24hours a day with level of integrity and dedication to their clients, throughout the private and family lives. The quality of this second to none and is clearly felt when one receives a session from a Universal Medicine practitioner.
The root of the issue is not pornography, it is the fact that we were not met as the gorgeous beings we were as children, so we shut ourselves down and lost connection to our bodies and hearts, and in doing so shut down to other people, so we all miss being close and intimate with another. In this shut down and disconnected state, we are then fed many harmful and misleading distractions, such as pornography, which falsely promises intimacy, without committing to a relationship and the risk of having our hurts exposed, but having them exposed and looking at them we can then choose to heal them.
Today with young boys (and girls) being exposed to watching porn stars having paid sex on mobile phones and computers, it is feeding them images of people having paid sex in a totally un-loving and detached un-connected way, its total illusion, air brushed naked body’s and actors, often having rough or violent sex. This then becomes the expectation of how our tender gentle boys think they have to treat women, and the girls think they have to perform certain sexual acts to be desirable, wanted or cool. This is a very serious and global epidemic and problem, and we all need to stand up, start the conversation, and share our experiences, let go of any shame and taboos and address the issue of pornography.
Thank you for sharing so honestly your experiences with porn, and how important is as a practitioner to live in a clear transparent way . … And that same responsibility goes for all of us, we are all interconnected.
A very powerful blog. There are many things we can claim to be addicted to. The truth is, we are not so much addicted, rather familiar. The physical addiction is actually not that difficult to deal with. It is what we use such addictions to hide that is the difficult part to deal with.
This is such an honest sharing and for me it was almost shocking how difficult it was for you to get rid of the addiction. It is great to feel how you took responsible steps towards yourself and your clients in letting go of the pornaddiction as well as the shamanic therapies.
When we begin to connect to and discern an energy that feels true we are opening the door on the most amazing healing. We always know when life makes us feel uncomfortable about our addictions and when we decide to let go we allow an enormous amount of love and acceptance into our lives that works like magic. We begin to make space for something beautiful and whole to enter a body that has become contracted with pain and guilt, and we begin the return to being glorious and wonderful in our expression.
As someone who used to visit a lot of different practitioners it was never in my awareness to consider their private life all I knew was I wanted to be ‘fixed’. Looking back now and feeling some of these people they were actually in a worse state than I was! So thank you for sharing this blog and even though it is in regards to pornography it could apply to any behaviour we have that is harming to ourselves and therefore anyone else we are in contact with. Living with and taking responsibility for the energetic quality we live in is something in time everyone will be considering.
This is such an amazing blog on many levels Anonymous. It brings such understanding as to what porn is really about i.e. missing intimacy in one’s life. And it also says so much about what true healing is – it is a way of living in integrity, love and truth to the very best of our ability that emanates from our being and touches and heals all whom we meet in this life. How can we heal another unless we first come to this precious love within us?
It is incredible how we all know that something is so fundamental to life like intimacy but instead of questioning why we do not have it and looking to remedy that, we seek an alternative to it which provides relief.
Re-visiting this blog and all the comments this morning I am deeply moved by the depth of honesty and openess of that has been shared here in bringing out ‘dark secrets’ to the light of day. The body is able to re-configure itself and let go of imprints that have been held for many years, thus changing our posture, movement, deeper understanding and our view of the world through different eyes – the eyes of the heart. A great healing for all.
It is so wonderful that you have shared this experience, Anonymous. How many of us still do not consider the ripple effect of our choices on everyone around us, whether it is watching porn, criticising someone behind their backs, binge eating in private etc.? You have really highlighted the enormous responsibility for practitioners (and everyone) to live in a way that is not harmful to themselves or others, so that the client is not clobbered by the energy of those ill choices when they walk in the room.
Thankyou Anon for sharing your experience of porn addiction and it’s effects on not only your own life but your clients too. It is horrifying to know that some people we have trusted with our healing we have no idea of their own issues and addictions. It is great to know that through Universal Medicine you were able to heal your addiction and turn your life around to become the true healer you are through Serge Benhayon and his teachings. The Esoteric Practitioner’s Association has an amazingly high standard.
Yes agreed Roslyn, it is horrifying to know we have likely submitted ourselves to ‘healing’ with practitioners who are less than discerning about such things as this, however the even more uncomfortable part of this I can feel is the fact that if l’m really honest, I did in fact feel something amiss but overrode it for the sake of a reputation or qualification, or to not ‘offend’ the other by leaving a consultation before it was complete. All these reasons are my own choice to allow the abuse I was otherwise feeling, though not necessarily able to put words to why.
Your whole blog is amazing Anonymous, but the thing that sticks out the most to me is that you are able to acknowledge that you always knew that porn was not it. Even from the first moment you saw it, you felt a bit off. You knew inside you that you were hooked into something that was not supporting you. That’s pretty amazing.
Anything that makes us feel good temporarily, we return to, for a fix. We do it with food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs. The key is to clock it and then ask ourselves why it is we need that fix? What’s missing?
Although porn is a particularly dark, abusive and secretive addiction there are many other addictions that are very harmful but are labeled as ‘healthy addictions’ such as sport and exercise, food and dieting… they can both lead to extremes in behaviour that can be abusive of self and others.
I find the new age alternative therapies interesting in that there appears to be a lack of code of ethics, or if there is, then there seems to be some fundamental points missing. I know of a number of practitioners who live a very different life to what they present in their practice and this has never sat well with me, similar to my experience with organised religion. There is a very common thread of hypocrisy and deceit.
And this example is the very reason why I feel extremely comfortable with visiting any practitioner that has been accredited through the EPA. It’s important to always be discerning and never assume, however my experience so far has taught me that the practitioners of esoteric modalities I’ve seen have never felt off. There is an enormous commitment and dedication as well as level of integrity involved in choosing to practice these modalities to which they are all held accountable.
When you mention how your clinic space felt filled with the porn energy you had absorbed Anonymous, it makes me wonder how many other images we have absorbed over our lifetime that create a filter through which we view every situation in our lives and all our relationships?
Wow – humanity is in desperate need for honest life experiences like this Anonymous. Thank you for being vulnerable and raw so that rest of us have an opportunity to reflect on our own choices.
There is enormous healing in your blog Anonymous… to realise and understand that our addictions are not actually who we truly are is such a gift. An addiction is just an energy we are choosing and we can make a choice in any moment to choose a different energy, a more loving way of living as you have done Anonymous.
We all feel energy all of the time so nothing is really hidden… we just choose to not see or feel the detail of what is going on around us.
It’s great to see an association out there truly looking after people by taking care of the practitioners that are members of it, “When I decided to become an Esoteric practitioner and applied for accreditation through the “Esoteric Practitioner’s Association” (EPA*) I found out that a prerequisite for becoming an Esoteric practitioner is to commit to never watch porn as well as a number of other prerequisites such as not drinking alcohol.”
The Esoteric Practitioner’s Association is setting the mark for serving humanity. Just think about the benefits for our communities, if our doctors would join and commit to not drink alcohol. Well, maybe the driving force behind the alcohol industry would step in and know to avoid this from happening.
What’s written here is so healing. To know that what we are addicted to, its energy we allow to enter our bodies – it is like an impostor we can feel. We don’t feel ourselves and can feel what’s not who we are is inside us.
I know my particular addictions/ habits that I act on pollute the pure relationship I could have with myself and all others I meet. The energy I carry that isn’t me I once thought was me and hid away from others whilst desperate for connection and this need fed my addiction. Now I recognise it as a choice I made to absorb it and then I can feel I have a choice – to allow it to distracts from who I am or to choose who I am and let what’s not me go.
It’s wonderful to read this article and be honest about what’s getting in the way of me knowing me – so many things are as accepted as normal like being thrilled by a TV programme or choosing to be doubtful of oneself or the world.
‘Nobody had ever told me that this was possible, but it was so awkward and real that I didn’t need proof of this other than my lived experience.’ – It’s true, nobody ever tells us how hugely energy can affect our quality, and how this then affects everyone around us. Eventhough we all can feel energy all of the time and to some extent are aware of what we feel, no one ever talks about it as something real. Not until Serge Benhayon, who tells it ALL as it is. What he presents makes real sense and it makes all the pieces in the puzzle fall into place.
It would transform the entire health care industry if every medical professional or every therapist took responsibility for how much our choices and our way of living affects everyone and everything around us, not just ourselves.
This blog reminds me of another blog I recently read, about how hugely our secret stories impact the quality of our life and wellbeing. How important it is to start taking the lid off and be honest about what is truly going on.
Our inner emptiness caused by us being in disconnection from the innate essence we all have, equally so, deep within us. This is what is always needing to be fed in some way or another, continually seeking for more and /or better distractions outside of ourselves – this comes in many forms, including pornography, food choices, computer games, excess sport etc. Anonymous you have opened up an awesome and enormous, vast ‘can of worms here’ which needs bringing out of the dark energy it sneaks around with into the full light to heal the way men and women regard each other when caught up in this abusive way of living.
This is an amazing story of a person coming to realise energetic responsibility and integrity. I enjoyed reading it as the way we live affects everyone around us, even the earth we walk on, and this blog is a great way of sharing this truth. Thank you.
This article confirms to me the fact that there is an energy behind pornography that takes hold of young boys, and unless stopped, this energy can continue to play and have control over them well in to their adult years. But the real question, is, why have we not as a global society stood up and stopped this energy from stealing our young men and filling their minds with harmful images that can hinder their ability to have deep and truly intimate relationships with women? Why is this acceptable?
There are many activities we all partake in, many accepted or not accepted past times, but there are very few places where you are asked to be truly responsible for the way you live. The EPA code of conduct presents a way to live that is fully responsibly both for ourselves and also towards all others. It shows the fact that we can’t partake in something that is not harmonious or true and at the same time claim to be living truth or act in a way that says we can help another heal. What I also really get from this is its not only about the person working in a practitioner room but if we indulge in porn and then serve people in a shop or help families checkout at the supermarket will then we affect them. We think of home life and work life separate but this is one example of many where we can clearly see how everything is linked.
This is very true Amina, so many of our behaviours and activities come from this need to numb and avoid the pain of the disconnection from ourselves.
As an older woman I have never understood pornography and the whole concept frightens me. It is alarming to know that nowadays children can easily access it.
Anonymous’s story confirms once more that when one reconnects with oneself all types of addictions fall off, discarded, never to be revisited again. Such is the power of Universal Medicine’s teachings.
It is so true Anon that we have so many images and beliefs that we are conditioned with around what intimacy is and when our experiences do not match them we can feel like a failure and seek even further to attain these unrealistic pictures.
I love the image that is with the blog. The long concrete tunnel with the barred fence at the end so aptly describes the narrow focus that any addiction including porn addiction brings. Research into the brain chemistry of addiction suggests that neural pathways become reinforced by compulsive activities until other pathways and activities that once gave us satisfaction are weakened and move out of focus. So just like this image porn addiction can become this very narrow focus around seeking intimacy that is in fact a mental prison that is difficult to free oneself.
It is extraordinary to consider that how we live affects people – when I think of myself working as a counsellor when my own life was a miserable mess, I can’t help asking, how much harm did I bring to my clients? It makes so much more sense to understand that how we live directly affects everyone we work with, in the food we prepare for others to eat, in the care we offer our elderly and sick, our clients, colleagues, friends, family, anyone.
Nothing can ever be truly hidden behind closed doors as we are energetic beings and however we are living is being communicated on many levels. We have a responsibility to ourselves and others in the choices we make, as they do affect us all. Thank you anon.
I appreciate your honesty and openness around the devastating affects that porn has on relationships. It is important to take a deeper look and expose what is really going on as uncomfortable as it may be to feel. Who does not truly want loving connection and intimacy in relationships? So many industries are based on filling a need and we feed those industries when we leave our connection with ourselves.
Anonymous, it is beautiful how when you re-connected to your true nature and essence through meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, the addiction just fell away. Connecting back to our own healing love, carried in our innermost heart is the thing that heals any distortion of thought that we have picked up through our lives. We are coming back to God.
We cannot separate or compartmentalise our lives everything we do is in our bodies, when we look at pornographic images and picture we have allowed in a very dark and destructive energy which is then in our body. But in order for us to have the impulse to look at pornography there has to a need or a desire for something that is missing in our life’s.
Could that need be that we miss the tender and loving connection to our body’s and ourselves, so we look to something outside of ourselves in a thwarted attempt to fill the emptiness we feel on the inside, through our lack of this connection?
“More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.”
This is the only way we can end and stop the illusion of the porn industry, as men we need to start the honest and open conversation about how we have allowed ourselves to be tricked and manipulated by the porn industry into thinking and believing that by watching porn or looking at pictures of naked people that we are being met, having connection and intimacy in our lives. The conversations are not to have shame and guilt, as this is part of the insidious way the pornography industry manages to stay so strong prolific as it stays hidden under the veil of men’s shame and guilt by watching porn. Porn needs to be exposed for exactly what is, an industry that is feeding of humanity’s need for love, connection and true closeness with one another.
The sexualized images and pictures we are fed, on TV, music videos, magazines and the internet, have a very harmful force or energy contained in them, as men we often dismiss them as a bit of harmless fun, yet they have a powerful message, a dis-respectfulness to women (and men) that objectifies and separates us from the true essence of a woman and creates a barrier that actually prevents intimacy, and connection when we meet a woman in person.
Millions of men and women worldwide are addicted to pornography, and the pornography industry is one of the global giant industries, causing a huge amount of devastation and un-measurable suffering to people’s lives. But in order for it to exist there has to be a need for it, humanity is desperately seeking connection, true close intimacy with one another and ourselves, in an attempt to get this we have settled for less, for sex, for porn, as we can stay closed down, protected and not commit to relating to others and the risk of feeling hurt, by watching porn.
I so agree, the EPA is one of its kind and its’ integrity and authenticity, its’ standards are awesome to behold and I also feel honoured to be part of this amazing association of Esoteric Practitioners, that look at not just the treatment room but all that comes with it as well as our life lived every moment of the day.
“My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.” – So true and not just in healing, in all aspects of our lives and relationships.
– “And it is his (Serge Benhayon’s) enormous love and care for humanity that allowed me to change and create a safe space in my clinic.” I can only concur – Serge’s love and care is so deep and genuine, I am forever grateful that I heeded that call myself all these many years ago. My life has also changed so much and my relationship with myself, with family and others have moved in directions I would not have thought possible. Thank you!
It is a standout feature of the EPA that it requires us to not watch porn, not drink alcohol etc. As you have said, there is no other modality that concerns itself with what the practitioner gets up to when they are not in a session. But as you have so beautifully shared, the energy of what we have been living floods out of our eyes and being into the treatment room and affects our ability to offer true healing to our clients.
I feel it is in part the secrecy that hangs around porn that allows it to have the hold it does. I loved the way you always knew that it felt abusive, yet not being able to openly discuss this there was no reflection that other people also knew this to be abusive too. We have to be aware of any behaviour that requires us to be sneaky as this is a huge warning bell that there is no energetic integrity in what we are choosing and it will harm others in some way.
Thank you Anonymous for this very honest and deeply felt sharing, one of the things that really stood out for me was – “I have experienced that the Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.” This is so true and is my experience also, that through Universal medicine we learn to develop this awareness and the more we do, the quicker and clearer do we feel where we are at with regards to ‘what’ we have engaged with …
It was quite an eye opener to read your early experience of discovering porn. The fact that you were with other boys yet felt so isolated was quite telling of the addiction that was to come. Porn leaves you feeling empty, so you need to go back for another fill. Imagine if one of you had spoken up and shared what you felt when every part of you knew it was wrong. This life pattern could have been broken through the connection with the other boys.
Many years ago I attended two healing session with an alternative therapist. The first session, I thought the disturbed feeling I had was created by my own anxiousness at attending an appointment with a perceived authority figure who must obviously know better about things than I would. The second session was the last, as it became very clear in the extreme tension that was felt in my body, there was a sordid and seedy feeling in the room and this was reflected in his eyes during the session and things he began to say.
I have never experienced anything remotely like this creepy session in any of the sessions I have had with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine Practitioners.
Thank God for the EPA and their amazing Code of Conduct that is very clear with practitioners about applying for accreditation with this organisation – it is not possible without making some lifestyle choices and changes, so as not to impose on clients energetically in any way.
Although it is about porn, this article touches on so many things relevant to peoples lives. It introduces why we seek things like porn to fill in the gaps of what we are missing in life, energetic responsibility and how true healing can occur. It showed someone who had tried all sorts of other healing treatments and yet their addiction continued. Without even aiming to, the Universal Medicine therapies get under all of our issues and support us to allow ourselves to feel and know the energetic truth of what we are choosing.
If we are honest as you have been anon we know that our thoughts affect each other which is why we feel so guilty about them. But what we may not so readily admit to ourselves is that our thoughts are not even our own. Clearly you are a very loving person (as we all are) and all those abusive thoughts you had were channelled due to an energy that you allowed to use you in return for a relief you thought you were getting out of it. But it was a false relief and you were just being used. Once you reconnected to the love that you are and ceased calling in that energy you no longer had those thoughts.
The other side of this is that whilst our thoughts or the energy we express can harm, so too can it heal. This gives a whole new meaning to energetic responsibility such as you have identified and is adopted by Universal Medicine and in the Code of Conduct of the Esoteric Practitioners Association.
I am also struck by the fact that there is no practitioner organisation other than the EPA that asks you to not do porn. It just shows we don’t appreciate that everything we do walks into the treatment room with us, there is no private and work in energy, it all just comes with us. I would always like to work with that level of responsibility.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It is incredibly honest and in that honesty we can all acknowledged what we have felt. It is never about blame or recriminations simply about telling it like it is.
Its obvious that this needs more attention in the community and needs more attention, similar to that of the support that is now available for drug/alcohol users. What has me thinking though, there are a lot of problems and issues in our society that we face, whether it be the porn epidemic, the sexualisation of our young, refugee crisis, war, poverty, racism etc. If we stand back and look at it all it can be rather overwhelming! The first step is to call out what is not of truth and stand up for the light that naturally lives within all people, the light of the Soul. For without the impulse of the soul, all attempts at fixing these issues are void of any try resolution.
What a powerful and courageous blog. This side of the porn industry is very rarely discussed and shared. The more open conversations that are had on this topic the more understanding we can bring to what is going on. No one wants to intentionally harm another, and like the author, most don’t want to be engaging in this type of behaviour. But until the true causes are known, such as the lack of true intimacy being experienced, we are still kept in the dark as a community about what is really going on with porn and why it is so out of control. What it is actually revealing is how much true intimacy is lacking in our relationships and that this is something that is very natural to us all. To not have this, means that people resort to all sorts of behaviours to not feel how much this is missed.
I have done sex, masturbation and porn. Comparing these to making love is a lost memory or cause to how memorable love-making is. It lasts forever when it is felt as the confirmation it is in the body.
What is shared here about the way new age spirituality can dull sensitivity is important. I was involved with an organisation with very lofty ideals, yet there was no energetic discernment and all sorts of ill behaviours we acceptable, some even encouraged. To have in your charter energetic integrity and include practical guidelines as to a baseline of what is acceptable and what is not, is a great initiative brought about by the EPA and I agree the only one of it’s kind i have heard of.
Children and young people have access to pornography on a greater scale than ever before through Social Media, music videos (YouTube), Magazines, the media and so forth; it’s no longer unusual to have your first ‘run-in’ with porn at the age of 10 or 11 as it appears everywhere we look! Similarly for adults it’s no longer constricted to pornography sites, videos or porn-magazines, it’s everywhere – they even sell it at local stationary shops such as WHSmith in the UK as ‘erotic fiction’.
Thank you for sharing this very personal experience of how addiction can really own us. What I absolutely respect about any Esoteric practitioner I see is the fact that they follow the EPA code of conduct. So they live first what they then reflect to clients. How absolutely amazing is this! And as is clearly shared here – how we live, the secrets we think we hide, can never actually be hidden. Transparency is everywhere and people feel our choices one way or another.
When there is an emptiness inside you that has yet to be filled by love it is easy to give way to an addiction. I remember being addicted to sex for a while. I simply couldn’t do without it. It came from such a deep hurt, an emptiness and an absolute longing for intimacy. I was so hurt and I was choosing to remain hurt, so I had a brick wall up around me that would not allow for intimacy, so sex was the substitute that I used. It took me years to break this as I would always feel the pull towards it. I was never into porn, but I can feel that this would also be something that would be hard to break as it is used in the same way. The only way out of this for me was to build love in my life for myself in order to stop the craving for intimacy in another way.
More and more research is showing porn to be very much like a drug to the brain – and this is being exposed younger and younger to our kids, it is where they first learn about touch and physical relationship and yet everything about porn is a complete lie and total abuse – they are growing up with a completely warped sense of intimacy with a partner – what it should look like and how it should play out – there is so much sexual abuse and rape occurring within relationships and marriages and could it be that a lot of it is fuelled by the aggressive porn being consumed?
“Nobody had ever told me that this was possible, but it was so awkward and real that I didn’t need proof of this other than my lived experience.” This is such confirmation Anon that the body will never lie, for you could clearly feel the disease this was creating in your body and the energetic abuse you were allowing with others well before you came to the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon – this proves beyond doubt that we do know and feel how energy works, Serge Benhayon is simply shining the light on all we already know.
“I would want such a safe space for every single person on earth, so that nobody ever again has to suffer unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of their practitioner’s lifestyle choices.” Universal Medicine has set an entirely new benchmark of integrity and transparency within the workplace and this is accessible to any working environment be it painters and decorators, cleaners or practitioners. They have returned a level of responsibility that brings true equality and service to humanity.
A very straight forward and honest blog about the importance of energetic integrity. As an example – imagine every massage therapist in the world having to commit to not drinking alcohol, not watching porn, living in a way that is truly healing so that way of life can be presented to their clients, would there be any left? I’m sure a few but the point is that we haven’t, until the EPA was written, had true guidelines showing the importance of energetic responsibility and integrity and how the clients gets affected by the practitioner.
What you’ve exposed here is something many would dare not talk about, the fact that you felt a guilt and a shame over porn and the fact you were treating individuals who had been sexually abused. It shows a real level of responsibility that you felt was needed, that how can anyone support someone or help them heal something if they are doing that or similar to that activity privately? It’s a really empowering choice to share these details as I have no doubt many people around the world carry out “secret” activities that impact not only their professional work but also their personal relationships. In the case of Porn, it is acceptable even if it is looked down upon in certain places. Yet no one talks about the impact this has on our bodies or those bodies we meet.
The porn industry and the energy that drives it is set up to deliberately interfere with true loving relationship. It is set up to set men and women apart, to deprive men of the deep beauty and stillness a woman can offer, by providing him with and programming him with images that are violent, excessive and abusive. If men and women do not truly unite we have a divided, unstable, chaotic world. We must see through this illusory way of relating to one another. I love what you have said Anon :’More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.’
I have found the same Anonymous – ‘it was the first time in my life I had heard of this or come across an organisation that considered how what the practitioner does will directly impact upon the quality of healing that is offered to a client.’ Universal Medicine and the EPA are organisations whose energetic integrity requirements are second to none. It was not until I met Serge Benhayon that I realised that every move we make, every word we express, all go to build a healing quality (or not!) that will be brought to every client who enters our healing room. It makes no sense that healing practitioner would watch porn, drink alcohol, take drugs or even eat undiscerningly.
What is such an amazing thing, Anonymous, is that once you became more intimate with yourself and began to truly meet others from your own loving connection, the porn addiction just dropped away . . . without it ever having to have been subject discussed. The living of the ‘what is’ displaces the ‘what is not’.
Thank you very much for writing this truly important blog. We commonly believe that because we can’t be seen in what we are doing that it does not matter, but in sharing your experience you demonstrate that it does ALL matter. This is what Universal Medicine teaches and presents. I have had the benefit of being met by Universal Medicine Practitioners who live in a non-harmful way and my life has transformed as a direct result. How we are does have a direct impact on others.
Interesting how humanity created a world that lacks intimacy and then created a fix for the emptiness, porn, that further harms us. Whereas intimacy is one of our most natural expressions. How complicated does it get?
Anonymous, your insight here: “So the images of naked skin gave me the illusion of people being close, meeting each other. In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex” – yes, it brings to the fore that any form of function, sex related or otherwise, is the next best thing from a missed connection. The connection to/with oneself, that’s so often disregarded by a covering of hurts. When the hurts are there to grease, feeling is less, and so too is connection.
We all want connection, we all want intimacy, but are we wanting it from the wrong places? Are we selling out to an idea that it has to come from someone or somewhere else? When in fact, we can connect to ourselves and be open to who we are thus leading to a more intimate relationship with our own body and our way first. I’ve found that connections with others is no longer forced when the foundation of my connection is already within – it takes the need out of relationships with people.
Your blog brings a lot of understanding to the huge increase in porn today. Is it due to easy access or is it because of the lack of connection we have with ourselves and those around us?
I found it very healing to read this blog and how it presents the understanding of what lies beneath the addiction to porn. Even as a boy this writer knew he was actually thirsty for intimacy, true intimacy of the non sexual kind. It’s really profound to be able to share this awareness at large as I’m sure many people can relate to the attraction to porn.
The fact that the EPA has prerequisites that care for the practitioner and the client equally, speaks volumes of the integrity that Universal Medicine modalities are practiced with. This should really be the normal, the way that all modalities are practiced, all doctors and health care professionals should be under this law and a law of absolute care and integrity to how they live and treat their clients. Sadly, Universal Medicine is one of a kind right now.
This is a very open and honest blog, not holding anything back from your experience, and what you could feel you were bringing to clients through your behaviour outside of the therapy room. And the same can be said for any kind of abusive behaviour be that drugs, alcoholism, violence (in word or deed)… and not just at work. This is the energy that we then share with our friends, our family… we carry it around inside of us that is where Universal Medicine is so powerful. By asking us to feel what is really going, we are returned to a simple truth of who we are, and so the rest can fall away.
The simplicity with which you let go of a life long addiction is remarkable. Return to the connection with ourselves and everything else falls away. This makes so much sense, and could be our way forward with all addictions; rather than the lifelong struggle to overcome them.
When you say “In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.” this really shows where we are at as a species if porn has become so commonplace. If more people are seeking it, and at a younger age, then this is very telling of how we are with each other – people are craving intimacy.
For so long, porn has been accepted as something men do – normal, and women have excused their male partners and friends, sons and brothers for having their ‘top shelf’ magazines. That’s how I saw it growing up. It was just something men did because it was so normalised. Jokes or references would be made about it between men (in front of women) and magazines like Playboy were glamorised but it was still kept hidden – on top shelves in stores, and in drawers and cupboards in homes. It is very different now, and magazines are sold at eye level for children to see in stores, it is online, in music videos, on TV … it is everywhere and has become even more ‘normalised’ to the point that primarly school children can access it online. Something has gone amiss here. It was never a ‘normal’ passtime and has really gone out of control.
Thank you Anonymous, for giving those of us who have never become addicted to porn or even watched it, such a clear and honest description of how it affects your life and the lives of others you are in relationship with. It feels like living in a tortured state the way it colours and affects everything. I understand now why many people can’t give it up, and how it diminishes their lives. It is a drug like any other drug. I love the way you say “I have experienced that the Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.” The regulation and discipline are the ways many attempt to deal with any of their problems, but Serge Benhayon brings us the gift of a way that truly does uncover the root cause, so healing can take place in a seemingly effortless way, no mental effort involved.
This subject is very relevant right now, what you have shared is a brave and needed article. As the internet is now available to anyone with a computer, smart phone or tablet so is the porn that floods it. Not to mention what we consider normal fashion shots are now also pornographic. With these images bombarding our globe, we need more men and woman coming forward with their stories to inspire and support others back to intimacy and real relationships that are much richer than naked bodies on a screen.
Thank you for such an honest and powerful blog showing the very harmful affects of porn and how it can infiltrate all areas of our lives harming ourselves and those around us. There is much in your blog to be considered not least the amazing changes you have made resulting in you bringing healing to your clients.
The Esoteric Practitioner’s Association Code of Ethics is second to none worldwide. It asks all practitioners to live the life that represents what the modalities they practice offer. Nothing less. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I completely feel and understand what you are presenting here Anonymous. When I was 14, I started watching porn on magazines on vacation at my relatives place who were adults. But the invasive feeling in my body and the raciness was much stronger on videos and later on Internet. I was definitely getting addicted but it was more coming to me rather me seeking it. I never felt attracted going to a porn theatre in the West End or buying a porn video from a shop.
The graphic description of what life is like being addicted to porn is very disturbing and it feels so isolating and lonely. To think there is so much easy access to this drug is really appalling and very scary for the generation that has this normalised as it is so far from normal.
Porn is deeply harming for everyone, it had an effect on more than just the watcher and participants, it is a rot in society. Caused by the incredible lack of intimacy that is so prevalent in our society, this blog beautifully comes to this conclusion, and shows us that it is being intimate with ourselves that is the key.
The integrity that Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Practitioners Association offer, is “something that is not seen or matched anywhere else worldwide”. Your story illustrates this so very well, Anon, and with this my appreciation has deepened immensely. Thank you.
I remember watching my first porn movie as a teenager with some high school friends – there was a strange sense of excitement while at the same time a feeling of guilt and disgust. Deep down I have always felt it wasn’t right and yet at the same time – on the odd occasions I watched it – felt drawn into it, and yet always left feeling emptier in preference to the fullness I was looking for in watching it. Porn holds a very evil hooking energy which is addictive and at the same time as offering excitement, can bring a deep sense of shame and secrecy – it is therefore great to be having this as a more open discussion and expose it for what it is.
The EPA is certainly an association with the highest integrity that I know of. Many organisations won’t seem to mind what you do behind the scenes so long as you can present professionally in the clinic rooms. This may not be their original intention, but in their silence and lack of rules, they do abide by this. This is not to say they don’t care, but no others bar the EPA, actually spell it out and make it a criteria. To be a member of the EPA is indeed an honour, a privilege and also a beautiful commitment to responsibility.
I love the way you have very matter of factly presented this blog. It is so refreshing to have someone who speaks about porn in such a clean way. The porn industry tries to convince us that porn is harmless but your blog clearly shows that it is not. The fact that you could clear the energy of porn out of your body is powerful. It is not just a matter of not watching it anymore, it is a matter of dealing with why you were choosing to watch it in the first place.
Thank you Anonymous – this is an amazing level of openness that you have allowed! By sharing your story, so many more people will get a chance to feel and understand what they are choosing to have happen to themselves and to others by indulging in porn. This is not a judgment on someone who chooses porn, rather it is an understanding that there is a deep disconnection and a lack of true intimacy with self the leads to a a choice of the pseudo intimacy that is slight from porn. Thank you for opening the conversation!
It makes sense that a person working as a practitioner needs to have dealt with an issue they have in a particular area of their life before they can help someone else with the same/similar issue. The healing for the client can take place because the practitioner is clear of the energy that once caused them distress.
What a great blog – thank you anonymous. Your experience from being addicted to porn, to healing the cause of needing it in the first place is quite a transformation.
The EPA is truly unique in its requirement for its practitioners to be so aware of the quality with which they live. It was something that I had never considered before Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon presented it to me, but I now know to be absolutely vital to assisting someone in their healing.
It’s amazing anonymous that you already knew (before coming to the presentations of Universal Medicne) that there was a level of harm for your clients by investing in porn in the way that you did. Surely on some level we all know this, which is perhaps why there is a sense of shame attached? It’s great that you and Universal Medicine is sharing what you know to be true so openly and getting this information out there.
Amazing honesty. Thank you. What other professional organisation asks its practitioners to commit to not watching pornography. That is what I call integrity. That is what I call commitment to humanity. Stunning.
What struck me was the way you described how you first got introduced to porn and the fact that none of you discussed what you felt or saw. I can imagine how hard it would be to verbalise what was going on at that time. Couple that with a lack of true intimacy and its no wonder young people get a skewed view of what relationships are about.
The word intimacy can be confused with sexual relationships, or even the act of sex itself, however it means so much more and is something we crave and miss. Intimacy is about connection with ourselves that then extends to how we are with others. Its about being open and vulnerable so that there is no barrier or protection in our communication with others.
The presentations of Universal Medicine allows for people to be able to feel the energy of different situations and discern whether there is a true connection or intimacy or are we lost in an illusion or pseudo connection.
The very thing we are seeking intimacy in actually is less available when we disconnect from ourselves and others and become immersed in images and fantasy such as is the case in pornography.
This is indeed a powerful and salient blog offering great insight into how many of us go through life with everything on the outside looking good but hiding some behaviours or substance abuse to hide the lack of intimacy and connection we really feel.
Many health practitioners currently have little accountability concerning the choices they make in their personal life. Yes we all have a choice, but if we are working with people to attempt to support healing then what do we share with people, if we choose porn, anger, alcohol. drugs, lies, food that exhausts us, late nights…It is deeply irresponsible not to support ourselves as practitioner to live a life of transparency and responsibility, it can be deeply harming. The EPA code of conduct is something that is chosen in free-will, it is a thorough and awesome document that supports a practitioner to live with integrity and responsibility. This reflection can alter the trajectory of a clients path towards healing, clients trust those who walk their talk.
Watching porn, any films, depicting sex and violence all deeply impact on us. As do computer games, music etc…We have all felt the impact of sitting through an intense, vivid and emotional film, it stays with us. There is no reason for porn to be any different, it stays with us and energetically, emotionally we touch everything around us with it. Fantastic to grasp the responsibility here and really feel what making the choice to watch porn allows into your life and the lives of others.
This is such an important topic to talk about; as you’ve shared pornography can become an addiction, in the same way as drugs and alcohol can. In school we are educated about the latter, there are support groups to help those with drug/alcohol addictions and attention is somewhat given to these people to help them come off the substances. Pornography on the other hand is such a hushed topic; there are very few people who openly speak about their addictions/habits as it’s still very taboo and socially impermissible to discuss. From what you’ve shared it’s obvious that it’s a serious issue that we need to start addressing in the community.
This is such a huge topic, both porn and the ethics of being a practitioner of any therapy. It is something that should be addressed by all therapeutic organisations. The role of the lifestyle of the practitioner in the healing of the client. It is too easy to dismiss this as a factor because it is unseen by the eye, but it makes perfect sense that if we say drink caffeine we are in a racy state and so not so clear in what we offer, ergo the same for eating large amounts of food, particularly sugar, heavy glutinous foods or dairy. The effect on the body is that it becomes less clear, less of a vessel through which healing energy can flow to support a client to in turn heal.
Learning how to be intimate with another can never be taught through watching porn. The sad part is people are looking at porn for the answers to their relationship problems, in the hope that it will enhance and add to the relationship, but in actual fact it openly widens the gap and isolates us further from each other.
“The more intimate I became with my natural self, the more normal it became to really meet people and be met by them, including other students of Universal Medicine.” If there were a secret to intimacy this would be it. Learning to be intimate with ourselves first, getting to know ourselves, be honest with ourselves, is something that is not supported or encouraged yet it is the first step in really meeting another in our fullness. When we meet another in our fullness things like porn are not possible to watch as we can feel the harm that it really does.
Anonymous, what you have written here really helps to understand why porn can be so addictive, ‘ I would crave for more because I didn’t have any intimacy in my life. No cuddles with my parents or friends and I was way too shy to enter a relationship.’ I can feel how important intimacy is in our lives – gentle, loving touches and being held so that we do not crave a false intimacy through porn and dysfunctional relationships based on sex rather true love and intimacy.
Thank you, Anonymous, for sharing your process of realisation about energetic responsibility. It is key for all of us to realise that everything we do affects everyone, whether it is in public or behind closed doors. The energetic ripple affect of our actions and even our thoughts goes out indiscriminately. I appreciate the humbleness with which you write about the harm caused to your clients when you watched porn, because you can feel how important it is to start talking about this subject out in the open.
This definitely needs to be talked about. Porn is usually something that is kept quiet and secret. The more it is talked about the more it will lose the allure and power that it has.
True Rachel, to address and look at the reasons for this addiction and speak openly about it – offers the opportunity to heal it and make others aware where they stand with this theme. The harm and exhaustion and shame the author experienced, is not something a lot are getting aware of or relate to. This is important to underline as it is a normal way in our society. So the way out is actually to face it and start working with it. The teachings and therapies of Universal Medicine are absolutely supporting in developing more self-love and intimacy with oneself and actually healing addiction behaviour without any judgement.
It is a big business and not only one of our days. Porn or exactly said this sexual energy has been and still is found in our daily interactions. If someone is lacking intimacy or the connection to oneself – this energy can creep in if the person uses this as a compensation for their feeling of emptiness. Meaning not only watching porn but also a certain kind of flirting, one night stands, daydreams, speaking with a certain undertone etc. Can be like an addiction and a contributing to that pool. As stated in the article, it makes you even feel more isolated and has actually a counter effect, and offers everyone you meet the same isolation.
It is so good to know that when I see a Practitioner of any of the Universal Medicine Modalities that they are not in the energy of porn, drugs or alcohol or even racy from caffeine or sugar. This should set the standard for all other modalities no matter what they are, to have that same high level of integrity.
This is a brave and powerful article that, without sensationalism exposes the horror and far reaching impact of porn.. I also now understand better the phrase ‘wounded healer’ and that we cannot support others with things that we have not resolved, taken responsibility for and healed.
Such a honest account of your experience and how you actually knew from the beginning that joining in with you peers and the porn that you were viewing was not ok and it felt wrong. The question we all need to ask ourselves both men and woman is; Where has the intimacy gone? With out blame but honestly stopping and reflecting on where in our lives are we lacking intimacy. Even the word intimacy has become a bastardised version of the true meaning of the word intimacy. If we look beyond the physical touch and sexual meaning that it is referred to and honestly look at ourselves and if we are having a relationship with ourselves that is intimate that we can then bring to all other relationships I am sure the meaning of intimacy would start to be revealed. Serge Benhayon is the only person that I have met that has been able to explain and share how the quality of what we chose to be in will determine the quality of the relationships that we are going to have.
An awesome blog that exposes the insidious nature of the Porn Industry and all that it pervades. I too was exposed to pornography at a young age and have struggled with intimacy as a genuine connection with myself and others. Following Universal Medicine courses and workshops I have grown in awareness that the energy of porn is both damaging to myself and to others. I have investigated and realise that colleagues and friends have a genuine desire to be rid of this, but lack a general level of awareness that the billion dollar industry of Porn and that it could be harmful. It is not dissimilar to the vested interests of big Tobacco or Alcohol companies that maintain exploitation to keep the profit curve – all the while keeping people numb and drugged – An addiction indeed. There is an easily accessible course on http://www.coum.org that can assist in addressing addictions for men. The EPA as a professional accreditation body, is indeed on the right track.
It is good to know that there is the EPA organization “that considered how what the practitioner does will directly impact upon the quality of healing that is offered to a client.” I am wondering why this is not a common sense – I only can admit that I would really like to have such an awareness and integrity with every visit at any practitioner, doctor, hairdresser . . .
Getting a deeper understanding that watching porn is an issue with intimacy is revelation. And highlights how our world’s population is living lonelier and in more separation than every before.
Yes sad state of affairs and then to have a pseudo-fix for it that is so harmful for all concerned – awesome blog and one that ought to be out there in many magazines…
I love your honesty Anonymous – thank you so much for not to hold back an ounce of what you have experienced with watching porn – I can feel everything you describe. It gave me a deeper understanding for the root cause of such an addiction.
I love this confirmation and clarification of the importance of a carer to self-care themselves and the energetic integrity that comes with these roles. The amount of dedication and responsibility brought to their jobs is why I have chosen to seek practitioners from Universal Medicine.
What a stunningly honest and revealing article. How many practitioners would admit to this kind of behaviour and how many would allow themselves to take notice of the harm they were doing to themselves and their clients? When I have sought help from practitioners in the past I have never considered that they might be doing porn and yet sometimes I have felt uncomfortable or not at ease in their presence. As you say it is not just porn that can have a harmful affect on us and what is so great about Universal Medicine is that it offers us a deeper awareness of energy and allows our clairsentience to grow so that we do not ignore the feelings we have and thus become more caring about ourselves and others. As a practitioner I used to drink alcohol and think it was fine but now after several years of not drinking I can so see and feel the harm that I was bringing in that energy.
Thank you for exposing the unseen harm that porn has not only on yourself but that of others in contact with you, from your own lived experience. What amazing steps of self responsibility you have taken to then discard the healing modalities that also felt harmful e.g. “new age”. Energetic integrity is something that the EPA and Universal medicine holds as its foundation, for true healing to occur- such high standards not seen in any other health field.
Thank you for sharing such an intimate and private experience, which exposes the extent of the self healing one continues with, getting to the root cause, in order to continue being a practitioner. Understanding that everything is energy, is the foundational cornerstone in the practice of all Universal Medicine practitioners.
. I can relate to what you are saying here Anonymous: ‘After this decision I watched porn two times and both experiences were so disgusting that from that time on I never touched porn again.’ I had this exact experience with cigarette smoking. Way back in the sixties it was ‘fashionable’ to be a cigarette smoking existentialist! Then in my twenties I met an old lady who was a healer and I wanted to learn healing. She said I would have to give up smoking if I wanted to be a healer, and that I would have to live cleanly. It was strangely easy for me to give up smoking as I wanted to be a healer with a passion! The next year I visited a friend at Cambridge University and after dinner she offered me a cigarette as we used to do in our University days. I accepted and after two puffs I was so ill I had to go upstairs and lie down for the rest of the evening! Never again could I have a cigarette. Having said all that, I still feel I have addiction in me, in the sense that if something unsettles me my first move is to want to walk to the fridge. This I must address.
The saddest part of this situation to me is the way we as men, take a behaviour and lacerate ourselves with harsh rebukes and judgment for unwarranted ‘bad behaviour’. So very few have until now, been prepared to look beyond the addiction to see a deeper, kinder, more human truth: that we all deeply crave and absolutely deserve love. So naturally we come up with a million ways to make up for this loss, even though nothing will ever work. This understanding transforms us from so called transgressors and sinners to simple beautiful beings who have lost their true way. Thank you Anonymous for sharing so openly on this subject.
Dear Anonymous, every paragraph in your blog brings a stunning sharing for us all. The following is so revealing: ‘When I had my first sexual experience at the age of 19, it was a disaster. I had all these ideas and images disturbing me and setting me up for how to act, what to think, how to sound and the reality didn’t match at all with what I had seen on screen and paper.’ This clearly demonstrates that the images we are continually exposed to set us up in life especially when we have disconnected from our bodies and are not consciously registering how we feel. Now the majority of young people are constantly exposed to a brutal world of porn and abusive sex. It is massive how this is working.
I had my first sexual experience in 1965 and I loved it. This doesn’t mean that it was free from images, it wasn’t. They were just a different set of images that involved Hollywood and English romance – happily ever after sort of thing. And I am still freeing myself from those images so that I deeply know true love – my addiction was the same as yours although it lay in a different set of images.
What I love about this article A is your honesty and the fact that you were able to let go of the addiction not by trying hard but by surrendering to the naturally loving person that you are already within.
A powerful blog that has exposed so much about the effect porn can have, not only on the one using it, but on every other person they connect with.
I cannot tell you how I appreciate this amazing blog Anonymous. Although I ‘knew’ that we have to be living a certain way of life to the highest integrity as practitioners your blog really brings this home in a way I haven’t felt before. Our every move is building the transparent love foundation from which we will meet our clients and indeed everyone we will meet in life.
Thank you Anonymous for your courageous sharing of an experience that affects so many people and is so often seen as something to not speak up or talk about. This topic is so important because it does truly affect e v e r y o n e and it does so through the hideous and evil energy that is poured into our internet and thus our homes, offices and schoolyards in majority without our full awareness. But as you have shared there is one business in this world – Universal Medicine – that is committed to supporting people with modalities and presentations that actually support our full awareness to return and to see and observe what is REALLY going on in our world.
From the simplicity of returning to your own sense of intimacy you were able to recognise that you were not truly finding this at all through porn, and this is a huge revelation to appreciate and celebrate within yourself.
This is a stupendous blog Anonymous. I love the way you describe how you were introduced to porn as a little boy and what that felt like – how each one of you watched in silence and were separated from each other: ‘We spent hours and hours looking at the pictures and never ever talked about how we felt about them. Each boy would be isolated doing his thing, no communication, no connection.’ Somehow your amazing description makes it all understandable to someone who has never seen porn. I can totally understand what you are talking about because while the specifics may not relate, the actual feeling of isolation and addiction have been felt and experienced by us all. l Thank you from my heart.
Spot on Lyndy – the truth is that from isolation and loneliness, we can turn to a whole range of ‘vices’, some of which might include porn, but could also include excessive study, using alcohol and/or drugs, extreme sports etc etc. Porn might have a ‘bad’ name but how much can we look at other activities that seem ‘OK’ or are perceived or accepted in society yet are quite harmful to self or others? In the end Porn is just one manifestation of a lack of intimacy.
What I find striking about your blog is that you totally nailed the root cause of your porn addiction, as the longing for true intimacy in your life as a result of the hurt of not ever receiving it or having it role modelled to you as a child. Our intimate relationship with ourselves is so divinely precious, and when this is not met as a child, it can have a devastating impact on our lives and the lives of others. And there feels to be a enormous opportunity here, to be able to expose the root causes of all of the world’s main societal issues and ills in a similar way, which really is not so difficult when we bring our energetic understanding and honesty to the picture as you have demonstrated. And to build our educational curriculums around addressing these core needs in our children – like intimacy with self and others, harmonious relationships, true confidence, body awareness etc – offering learning and education that would truly serve us in life and beyond.
Porn is very draining and, if you are doing it, it can be very worthwhile to observe when and how it is draining and what kind of porn is doing what – the more awareness we have of the true horror, the easier it is to get away from it.
Imagine if all of our conversations took place from this level of honesty with each other. We would learn so much. It really exposes the superficiality we so often keep in life – never daring to go deeper and say it how it really is.
Your description of the initial loss of innocence is palpable, with your first contact with pornographic material. What could be written off as just a child’s curiosity and considered normal, is so clear that there is so much more than this going on from an energetic perspective. As you illustrate, when we do not get to experience true intimacy as a child, or have any true role models reflecting what it truly is, then the unmet longing in us is given free reign to seek out and indulge in its bastardised forms. How incredible then, that through your love of people and your clients and ultimately yourself, you were called to reclaim the true meaning of intimacy, and you so lovingly heeded that call.
“It was the true love I had for my clients and for myself that allowed me to ask the right questions that brought me to meet Serge Benhayon. And it is his enormous love and care for humanity that allowed me to change and create a safe space in my clinic.” A powerful testimony to both you and to Serge Benhayon and an incredible insight into the insidious energetic nature that comes with porn and the effect it has on people.
It’s so great to read an honest account like this because I’m positive there are a large percentage of men who have experienced this and acted on this; it’s just not spoken about, but I feel it all of the time in lots of different situations. This is great to talk about because with Internet available on mobile phones it’s a growing issue.
To heal from such an addiction with a step towards yourself, building the honesty in your body is a beautiful step in supporting humanity to do the same, at a time when porn is becoming more common amongst all age groups. It is undermining honesty in relationships with both men and women, porn has taken us back to degrading behaviours that have not an ounce of love but provide visual stimulation without an ounce of intimacy
Thank you Anonymous for such an honest sharing, porn has become the normal especially among the young generation, it is out in the open for them with their sexting between each other. There are varying degrees of porn but all show a desperate need for true intimacy, which is so lacking in everyday life. Beautiful, how coming to Universal Medicine and claiming self love and intimacy with your self and others, allowed your addiction to drop away.
This blog highlights how there is so much more going on than we realise. We are constantly feeling the effects of how people live and others are feeling the effects of how we live.
I love the honesty in this blog. This is a powerful testimony to the integrity of Universal Medicine and the EPA and the fact that our quality of how we live in all areas of our lives affects everything. There is nothing that is unimportant. Everything counts.
‘More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.’ – We can all contribute to making a real change by starting to talk openly and honestly about this topic.
The whole world is craving intimacy and yet the crazy thing is we have designed so many things to protect us and help us avoid intimacy.
Reading how your introduction into porn started I’m asking myself the question where is the care and responsibility of the adults at the time? The fact that the porn existed in a home with children and that you where wanting to have a loving connection with your family means the opening for searching was already long there and being handed down the generations. Really brilliant that these patterns of behaving are being opened up for an understanding as to why people get hooked on porn.
As an EPA accredited practitioner myself as well as a registered Physiotherapist I agree that I have never previously come across any training body or organisation that considers to such detail that how a practitioner lives effects how they practice and therefore the degree of harm or healing they are bringing to their clients based on how they live and conduct themselves inside and outside of the clinic.
Isn’t it amazing that deep down we all know what is going on energetically in our lives and we all have an innate sense of what energetic integrity and energetic responsibility are. And yet we choose to ignore what is really going on, knowing full well what is going on. Universal Medicine is simply confirming something we already know and supporting us to return to the standards of living that we know how to live.
Such an honest approach to life is not the norm, let alone a true way of living. But we all know about truth from day one. You are so spot on, Andrew, Universal Medicine doesn’t bring anything new. It’s a body of reminding.
Reading documents like this make me feel uncomfortable as I can no longer turn my back on responsibility and leave it to the next person because this horrific abuse is going on under my nose. If I do nothing then I’m knowingly allowing this to continue and doesn’t that make me a equal perpetrator to those involved?
I remember watching a television program about how so called porn stars are treated, it was a documentary which exposed viciousness of the industry and how the models are used and mistreated. I was horrified with the extent of the abuse, there was no glamour only a demeaning industry that is focused on making money with absolute disregard for those abused along the way.
Thank you for sharing, there are so many things we think we can do behind closed doors that then affect us (more than we realise) and also those we then meet. There is nothing innocent about porn and we can substitute it for so many other things which are equally as damaging and harming to us.
“My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.”. Which is the ultimate form of Responsibility, choosing the quality we live in which governs the choices that we make. Whether they are Loving or not. It actually makes a lot of sense to forever learn into making more and more loving choices and start living (again) from reading the world, rather than go through it by justifying, comparing, judging, etc. The quality in which we live determines the quality we bring into our working places.
Having an addiction like porn must be so hard to break. The energy and the pull of it is so strong, and if you are used to engaging with it I’m sure that there is something about it that you want to experience again and again. It is wonderful that by coming across Universal Medicine and choosing a loving way of life you have been able to let it go from your life completely. This is testament to the fact that what we are truly missing and yearning for is love, and when we give love to ourselves there is then no need for anything else. True intimacy comes from opening our hearts and connecting with others. Porn is just a substitute for this. Thank you Anonymous for writing this and exposing porn for what it truly is.
I truly appreciate the wisdom and understanding about life and especially the energetic aspects of it, which Universal Medicine presents. Understanding that our choices, our personal activities, and even our thoughts -such as porn- impact on every one else. Thank you for sharing Anonymous. I am constantly inspired through the presentations of Universal Medicine to deepen my understanding of love, integrity and responsibility. The funny thing is most of it I kind of know already, it is never totally new. But in a world that encourages us to live a million miles away from the truth of who we are, it requires someone to stand tall and shine brightly the light of truth, so that the world starts to remember that which we walked away from long ago and to which we are returning to once again.
When we feel lonely and when we are not being met, we need an addiction to comfort us. To comfort us and to fill us up. This can be anything, like porn, food, sex, sport, work, an affair, alcohol, drugs, sugar and the list goes on. Whatever it is, in the end it is all the same. We might think that certain addictions are not as bad as others but then we are just fooling ourselves.
Anonymous thank you. The depth of honesty you have shared is exceptional as this is a definitely a taboo and often hidden subject. You are the first person I Know to openly admit they have been addicted to porn and describe in such detail how this is experienced. It made very difficult reading at times, I flinched, was shocked as I read the impact of your addiction on yourself and clients you treated as practitioner. The Esoteric Practitioner’s Association (EPA) is rare in the standards it sets for Universal Medicine practitioners with fundamental requirements agreed by practitioners to not drink alcohol or view porn. This level integrity and supervision of practitioners is essential if we are to ensure clients and patients are given the highest level of care and never subjected to harm they are not even unaware of..
Thank you what a powerful insight you have provided to the experience of watching porn, When we connect to our own tenderness and delicalteness and comit as you have shared to healing and undertanding we can move to a position in hummaity where people choose not to watch porn out shame and embarrassement but because they understand they joy of hummanity and are incapbale of being aroused by another’s exploitation.
This is a brilliant blog. It’s hard hitting and so truthful. Pornography is so prevalent that it is almost seen as a pastime, which is the problem and the clever deception that is around this ugly industry.
The EPA supports its members to be “energetically responsible”. This is a term, that humanity has forgotten about long ago. What a blessing to have it lived again.
Gee, what a powerful insight into the need for deeper energetic integrity and quality in all that we do. The reality that we might offer healing while doing porn in the lunch break, shows how little integrity there is in many ‘new age’ modalities. The quality and integrity shown by the EPA and Universal Medicine is truly a high water mark in global practitioner standards.
Absolutely Joel and makes me consider the true ‘energetic soup’ we actually live in. There is a reality that is different to the job titles and qualifications we all hold. There is a momentum that comes from every choice and movement we make. This way of seeing the world brings a new understanding to any addict or ‘transgressor’ – all they have been doing is accumulating unloving choices.
We can end up so far away from ourselves when we have not developed a relationship of care and intimacy with ourselves – for without this foundation, we cannot bring it to the relationships we establish with everyone else, and are instead always left with the feeling that something is lacking, so seek to fill this void whichever way we can – drugs, porn, tv, sport, food – take you pick. Thankfully Universal Medicine and the many Esoteric Healing modalities are here to support people to re-develop a deeper relationship with themselves – this blog is a testament to the powerful changes this support can instigate.
Thank you Anonymous. As I read this blog I could feel that I have experienced much of what you describe here despite the fact that I have only ever seen a very small amount of pornography (not even 10 minutes worth all up). It seems to me that the whole world is sexualised now – I can’t search the Internet or look up at a billboard without being struck by the energy of pornography and it is becoming a part of most popular TV shows etc. The impact of this ‘pornification’ of everything is enormous and the sooner we collectively address the underlying causes the better.
Porn gives us the illusion of what a picture of intimacy might be like, but it is and always has been a caricature of it. It is a gross exaggeration of the act of making love. It is not making love, it does not portray making love, and it cannot do so. This is simply because porn is not about love in any way, shape or form.
The concept of intimacy, was something that I had not really appreciated until meeting Serge Benhayon. Previously intimacy was another word for sex. That’s all it really was to me. But true intimacy has so much more to it. In fact keeping this word limited to sexual relationships undercuts not only what the word can mean, but from acknowledging what we are capable of in all of our relationships with each other. Being intimate is simply about letting someone else know you without holding anything back. That’s it.
I am loving re-establishing the word intimacy in its true meaning. It is still tainted with the limitation of a physical act. But emerging more and more in my thesaurus as the open quality of my approach to everything.
More and more studies are being carried out into the physical and emotional harm of pornography – it is not an issue we can hide any longer, and those times where people feel alone and therefore able to act as they please behind closed doors leaks out into their lives.
Anonymous this was a really powerful blog to read in that you could feel that every choice we make has an effect on others and nothing, no matter how privately it is done, is not felt by everyone. I especially loved this line that you shared that ‘My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.’, this makes absolute sense as the quality in which we live has an impact on everyone around us.
“The more intimate I became with my natural self, the more normal it became to really meet people and be met by them.” This is a simple and tried and tested thing you’ve shared here anonymous, that getting to know your natural self, your qualities and how to share this with others, simply dissolved the need to turn to porn as a substitute for living your sensitivity.
Such a powerful article which the whole world needs to read. Porn is so harming and many things in this society are laced with it. I would love every therapist who was working with clients to read this as part of their mandatory training. There is so much here. Thank you for being so honest.
This level of honesty and integrity are so important to true healing. Like you anonymous, I knew this truth and had felt it before I came across Universal Medicine. I felt it about drinking alcohol and the energy from movies but I was able to put it aside because nobody around me wanted to admit this was true. Now, because I have clearly felt it and have accepted the facts of energy, it seems so strange not to notice this ill energy.
This is indeed the beauty and power of being able to discern energy, we can then bring a level of honesty and the possibility of truth to so many situations and choose whether to continue or not.
I could never relate to watching porn. In the early years when my friends and I were playing by the creek we found ‘Playboy’ and ‘Penthouse’ magazines in which the genitals had been air brushed out – these magazines held no interest for me. Some twenty years later while smoking pot, my then friends would occasionally watch raunchy porn videos – none of these held my interest. Interestingly, on re-reading this article a porn image flashed through my mind and I immediately made a choice to re-connect back to my breath, which cleared the ill energy straight away. So this brings me to the adage ‘observe and not absorb’ and thanks to Serge Benhayon, I am now starting to not absorb and to undo the things in the past that I have absorbed. I sense that being open to feeling what is going on in my body by choosing the energy that I am aligned to allows me to feel with no attachment so I can release ill energies immediately. This brings a deepening of my innate connection to my inner-most or soul energy.
Anonymous,
Thank you for being so open and honest about your addiction to porn. Your article is a beacon of light for all men out there that may well be feeling like you did. To know that it is possible to address this addiction and to truly heal from the lack of intimacy that drove the addiction is a pure and simple a life changing read.
I agree Leigh this is a powerfully honest read that is deeply healing for all men. By not holding back and being honest about our issues and how we overcame them, we reflect great wisdom and support to others.
You have a truly responsible outlook on how you are when you treat your clients Anonymous. Although currently rare this will become the norm as we all begin to realise the choices we make, not only affect us, but they affect others to – even if we can’t see it…we can certainly feel it energetically.
Such an honest account Anon, thank you for sharing. Behind every addiction there is an energy that drives us to that action. That you discovered for yourself that the energy behind your addiction was a lack of intimacy is like the unveiling of a foggy cloud. It is truly beautiful to feel that when we deal with the root cause of an addiction, the symptoms fall away. This is true healing.
How we are with ourselves impacts what we bring to others. Yes – another responsibility to be on top of!
Anonymous, it is so interesting to read your article, what you have written shows how much the way we live and our daily choices affect others, in society we think we can hide our unloving choices but the energy we are choosing can always be felt. This makes me realize how important my livingness is and that I have a responsibility to choose to live lovingly because if I do not this not only affects me, but my family and everyone that i come into contact with.
One of the interesting things about porn is that there are different levels of interference – artful porn or pictures that straddle the border between fashion, art and porn can feel worse, more interfering with one’s well-being than simple, straight port. The darker areas of porn are worse still, it is quite amazing how something this forceful and dark can be so accepted.
With no drama you have shared a critical and amazing truth about the impact of porn on all of our lives. Whilst it is so rife we all suffer its abuse. Thank you for taking the steering wheel and re-directing this course.
Thank you for sharing about your porn addiction and exposing how and why young men (and women) become embroiled in the evil energy of pornography that envelops everyone who comes into contact with it. Despite your awareness of the harm it was causing in your life it is telling that you were unable to let go of the addiction until Universal Medicine re-awakened your energetic awareness and the fact that once we re-connect to our inner knowing we can heal our lack of intimacy and so many behaviours just fall away. I find it truly disturbing how much more accessible and extreme pornography is and it would be great if your blog was part of a wider discussion about these current trends.
It is only with this level of deep honesty for yourself anonymous, that people are able to really look at what their relationship with porn has been. The most startling thing is that we accept porn as normal, we accept it as we accept the sex shops and internet sites. We accept the abuse and we call it normal. In many cases boys were considered “healthy” to watch porn when I grew up. It was something that everyone did. At least when the school priest super imposed the faces of an entire year of boys on naked photos it was called out for being abusive and wrong. Yet it was not until I came to Universal Medicine did I learn about the care and intimacy I have with myself and the more I developed that many of these addictions, porn being one, just fell away.
So simple and so lovely expressed Anonymous: “The more intimate I became with my natural self, the more normal it became to really meet people and be met by them” and we could mean that this should be normal. To be intimate with ourselves. To meet people. And it should be normal. But it isn’t currently – which is reflected among other things by the increasing use of porn. Great to speak up about this important topic.
For all the men out there addicted to visual porn, I imagine there are close-to-same numbers of women addicted to what is more (palatably, presumably) marketed as ‘erotica’ or even adult-style romantic novels. Again I wonder about where we’re at with intimacy and how we got here. Getting off on abusive images and fiction and even chocolate-box romance is a poor substitute for love. We must be VERY disconnected from ourselves if this is what we think is acceptable, normal or desirable.
The description given of the interplay between Anonymous and his clients once he became aware of the impact of watching porn then treating clients, particularly those with sexual abuse issues, highlighted the hypocrisy of the situation brilliantly. The same principles apply with other professionals – think doctors who drink, or smoke for example and 1) offer advice to others not to and 2) come to their sessions with all that this energetically entails. Once we accept the principle that everything matters, we’ll come to see the error of our ways.
School kids are now watching porn on their phones and computers, this is now seen by the younger generation as normal. Collectively we as a society are responsible for children watching porn today, we have allowed it to fester unhindered for a generation or two, and as a direct lack of us doing anything about it, children now see porn as a normal activity at the expense of intimacy. Our choice as a society to not call out porn for what it is, an abuse and assault on the body, has allowed it to filter down to our younger generations so that they see it as an acceptable form of entertainment. This then imprints how they will view relationships with each other, taking them further away from intimacy and the loving act of making love.
I love the EPA and the utter honesty and integrity it insists on and inspires. There is nothing else like it in the world and I embrace and endorse its code of conduct whole-heartedly. It’s a code I use not only in my work as a practitioner of the Esoteric Healing modalities but across all my other work activities as well. Actually, across all areas of my life – because it is about the whole of our lives, not just the part we do in the office.
‘…all the new age, spiritual and shamanistic therapies, seem to work with energy in a way that casts a fog around our energetic awareness in the most deceitful and evil way to make us think we are dealing with the energetic root causes of our issues.’
This is a really important observation and one I agree with from personal experience. There was never anything in the spiritual new age therapies I studied or received that brought a modicum of true healing to me or others I knew. Rather, there was the illusion that some sort of enlightenment was taking place… but never anything sustainable or what I would call real.
Pornography was once the realm of a hidden few. Now school children download it on their devices. How has this been allowed to happen? And what does it mean that young children access it? An epidemic of lack of true intimacy, and a checking out by us all that means this has been allowed to occur.
Not only do they download it on their phones, they are actively creating it for themselves too. This lack of true intimacy and connection is alarming as they do not understand exactly how much they are giving themselves away and what the future consequences of these choices may be.
The rise in the availability of porn since my adolescence in 60’s and 70’s has been inexorable and I know that if it had been available then I would have become heavily addicted. For even though it was not available the hook of ‘sex’ was in me and it is only since involvement with Universal Medicine has the hook been released. The harm that is done by porn is immeasurable.
The level of honesty demonstrated here allows us to learn much about intimacy and abuse of self and others, and how lack of one leads to the other.
Wow anonymous you really shine the light on porn and explain so well the damaging and harming effects it had on you and all others you came into contact with. I can feel this blog is deeply supportive for those who are seeking to stop their addiction to porn, as what you deliver is an understanding and clarity around porn addiction. With understanding and a willingness to change we are able to make those lifestyle changes.
Porn has become so out of control and normalised these days with the internet and what not that people need articles like this to understand that it isn’t normal and does have dire affects on people and how they can function in relationships.
Anonymous, thank you for this truly excellent blog. Not only do you introduce some vital home truths about the nature of pornography, you let us know about a new way to conceive of integrity in practise and the nature of spiritual pursuits.
Porn is abusive -simple. It is abusive for the participants, and abusive for the watcher. This is as much a scientific fact as an energetic one. The physical side effects of watching porn are well documented – including loss of libido, as well as unrealistic expectations on partners etc. In short, it is not real – none of it.
Yet….as men we still find ourselves attracted to it, even when we know this. Why? Put simply, we miss intimacy, and most importantly, we miss intimacy with ourselves.
So True!!!
The quality and integrity that is the standard for the EPA credited practitioners is of such a high standard which I have never seen or heard off before. The understanding that we cannot heal anybody’s illness and disease unless we are clear of the ill energies ourselves as practitioners and in that we cannot be addicted to pornography, using alcohol or drugs to name a few, as these all do change our consciousness and overall energy level we have with us and whether we like it or not, will harm our clients unwillingly. That level of responsibility I have never seen before with any company or practitioners organisation but it feels for me the way we have to go as a humanity as this level of integrity will become the norm for all of us and not only in our practices but for how we will be living our lives.
Wow… I loved reading such an honest and powerful account of your experience of the harm of porn and your ability to then heal your addiction through having your energetic awareness reawakened. Your story allows me to truly appreciate more deeply the integrity that Universal Medicine offers through its EPA prerequisites and it ensuring the quality offered is free of such harm.
This is a brilliant blog anonymous, we definitely need more people to speak up about the harm of watching porn, what it does to the person watching and others. Your blog is so well written and exposes so much of what is actually going on. It is extremely honest and deeply healing for the readers. The part you mentioned about addition to porn was a lack of intimacy in your life is very powerful. This will help many people understand their own addictions and inspire them to also heal. From your willingness to heal and embrace the support from Universal Medicine you have deeply inspired us all. Again, absolutely brilliant blog, Thank you.
What part of us is it that thinks that porn can stay on a piece of paper or television screen? I love how you show Anonymous that this way of thinking is absolutely untrue, and that every little thing we do flows on and is contained in the next. So many people talk about whether porn is good or is bad, but still skirt away from this question you have brought to our attention. For what you share clearly applies to the responsibility we have with everything in life, not just pornography.
You have covered so much in this blog of great value. One of the topics you raised was that of intimacy. Intimacy energetically is the expression of love and it is something we all miss and long for. It has nothing whatsoever to do with sex and is not about touch, emotions, gossip or the many, many other things that people call intimacy. Unimedpedia: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia looks at the harm that is done when words are corrupted. Porn is an example of the harm done by corrupting our understanding of intimacy and love. We ceaselessly search for those things we so long for in places where we will never ever find them or be satisfied, thus perpetuating the addictions and cravings.
Thank you Anon for this gift of a blog that is packed full with so much honesty and truth. There is much here that you have exposed that many people will be able to relate to and this is a subject we need to bring out into the open to heal.
“all the new age, spiritual and shamanistic therapies, seem to work with energy in a way that casts a fog around our energetic awareness in the most deceitful and evil way to make us think we are dealing with the energetic root causes of our issues.”
I experienced this too. I was a committed shiatsu & remedial massage practitioner working full time with the view that I was seeking the energetic root cause of our issues and illness. Yet there was a persistent, nagging feeling within me that despite studying every form of bodywork and healing I heard about, I was not and my clients were not, accessing true healing but instead were being buoyed along with relief of symptoms, like a never ending cycle of entrapment. I felt increasing tension in my own body which was a constant frustration and anger that I carried with me all of the time.
I would definitely have given up on being a practitioner had my soul not led me to meet Serge Benhayon, who opened up the path of true healing for me, both personally and professionally, and demonstrated for me the level of integrity that was indeed possible to be lived.
The clarity with which you write reflects the true healing that has occurred for you through the powerful Esoteric Healing modalities. It is an incredible awareness to feel the effect of energy and images in our healing sessions. The responsibility of committing to being an Esoteric Practitioner is all-encompassing and requires the full commitment to nominating and letting go of every hurt that takes us into reaction or distraction behaviours. I have felt overwhelmed by this responsibility but in essence, it is the greatest gift and one that I have consciously chosen to make my rudder in life; and is what I bring to my clients.
Thank you Anonymous, So much is offered here in your blog, especially, you have shown how the types of thoughts and imaginary that comes with them, is energetic abuse and that this is equal to the physical abuse.
I have also found this – Universal Medicine is the only organisation in the world that speaks honestly and straight from the start about which energy we use to do what we do, the first and only one that spells out that there are two energies to choose from. And from thereon it is just a question of becoming aware of our feelings and taking responsibility, simple and straightforward.
We feel every single moment of our every single day. Feeling and yet not expressing is a guarantee for disconnection, which happens first with ourselves. When we feel and simply express what is felt, even just to ourselves, the love and honoring our body receives starts to deepen what is connection, which is a natural correction from the abuse and harm we have allowed from disconnection with ourselves. Addiction such as porn or sex naturally drops away when we begin to feel our own connection and love.
What an incredible story, and such honesty with yourself and what you were feeling, and especially your sense of what the energy of porn really does. A blog that needs to get out in the mainstream for everyone to read.
“When I decided to become an Esoteric practitioner and applied for accreditation through the “Esoteric Practitioner’s Association” (EPA*) I found out that a prerequisite for becoming an Esoteric practitioner is to commit to never watch porn as well as a number of other prerequisites such as not drinking alcohol.” The world needs an EPA for all of humanity – now that would be truly amazing – Universal Medicine in every sense of its true meaning.
Your sharing beautifully highlights that all our ill behaviour and unloving choices stem from our disconnection to who we truly are. We all have different life experiences and issues and they all look different, but fundamentally it all goes back to the same place – reverse that, that one same place holds the key to healing all our issues and woes. So simple.
Porn is so easily accessed and pretty much normalized in the society we live in, and there even seems to be this idea that men need porn and that’s what they do, so your honest sharing of what it was truly like for you to watch porn was revelatory and helps me see the judgment I have held against men. Thank you.
ThanK-you for your honest sharing of your addiction to porn Anon, and how you were able to see why you felt the need to have it in your life being from the lack of intimacy you had with yourself and from your family when growing up. What are we actually doing to our younger generations when they feel the need to seek out porn on the internet and through magazines, giving them a totally false perception of making love or being able to form true intimate relationships based on true tender loving care, respect and honouring of another person?.
“It was clear everything had changed. I have experienced that the Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.” Such a clear explanation anonymous of the responsibilities we all carry, and it’s up to us to bring this awareness to every aspect of our lives, so humanity has a reflection.
It’s so true when it comes to a professional qualification, it is often, if not always, a case of getting qualified for the knowledge and techniques gained through a concentrated period of training, and nothing outside of it seems to matter. What EPA represents is a level of integrity and responsibility unparalleled by any other, and that is the kind of quality I would like to receive as a client as well.
Yes, the Esoteric Practitioners Association, EPA, is phenomenal in its founding of practitioner integrity, ethics, protocol, responsibility set by the way one lives life. It seems sensible and common sense to have this with health/healing related professions, though I wonder two things, one – how this might look if it was statute in that profession, and two, how business and industry would look if such qualities were incorporated into this world too, or certainly a vital salient and determining point in regards promotion into leadership and management positions from which company cultures get created. The way we live life, is the way we work or lead, no matter the profession.
Thank you for sharing your personal ‘dark’ secret with us all. Apart from appreciating and feeling how tender and sensitive you are and have always been, reading this has given me an insight and understanding into why so many boys and men are drawn to porn.
I love your honesty in this blog, and, the fact that even though nobody had ever said anything to you about the harm of pornography – you were already deeply aware. That’s the thing about energetic truths – we already know! It is simply a confirmation for us on every level.
What an openly honest post Anonymous, the subject of doing porn is a huge issue these days with its ease of accessibility, plus sharing your own experiences in being addicted to it and how it played out in your professional life, is essential reading. Because it confirms, that no matter the activity, whether doing porn or something else, that we cannot separate what we do outside of work, to inside of it. There is no distinction and we are, as you say, in illusion to think we can keep the two separate – inside work, outside work. Our lifestyle creates the quality we work in. And we either are in harm, or in healing by its quality. There is great responsibility in knowing this, and for you to share your story with us, Anonymous.
So great that you have exposed This very harming industry and practice that for too long has been seen to be normal and something that so many are affected by that have absolutely no idea of the damage it can cause. The power of porn over men is something that needs to be addressed and you have done this so well here Anonymous.
Thank you Anonymous for opening up this subject for discussion. It is a subject that should be far more widely and openly discussed in the world. Obviously many are not comfortable with that, but the aspects that you have brought up should be more widely known. It is something that takes place behind closed doors, it must affect many families, but seems to be something that is taboo to talk about. It is a very damaging practice, far more than many realise, and affects many for the whole of their lives. It damages so many relationships, because of the unreal expectations of one at least of the partners They are living very unreal lives in many cases. How much better and richer is a life where one is intimate with oneself and open and intimate with others. Then there is absolutely no need to be wanting to view porn to relieve oneself from the loneliness that many feel, even when among many people.
Isn’t it great the Esoteric Practitioners Association is so complete and supportive and asks people to be responsible for the way that they live, knowing that it will affect themselves and their clients.
I have been part of many associations for herbal medicine, massage and other modalities but never have they been so caring for the practitioner and the client. It is not just about your client or just about you, but about all of you and how you affect each other.
Wow, Anonymous, what you have revealed here is enormous, you have experienced for yourself the great damage that porn addiction can cause. It is wonderful that you felt for yourself that in watching porn, then giving spiritual healings to people who may have suffered from sexual abuse, you were actually harming these people you were endeavouring to heal. You were carrying that energy from the porn into the room with you, fantastic that you actually realised that and stopped doing the healing work. This is an aspect of porn that should be far more widely known, together with the fact that it is a real addiction and how much harm it can do. It can set up such unreal expectations, and quite damaging situations with partners, it certainly is not true love making when at least one of the partners have the expectations they have received from watching porn. How great it was that, through the help of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, you learned to connect deeply with your true self, over a short time you completely released your addiction, it just went away, you no longer had the need for the intimacy you thought you gained from the porn, you developed an intimacy with yourself and with other people in everyday relationships and friendships.
I love the fact that porn is being discussed more openly now than ever before but my feeling is that it is more shocking now than ever before. It surely is an industry that needs to be exposed as it is hurting not only the ones posing in the industry but those who buy and subscribe to it.
It is so important for those who are addicted to it, to be supported and not frowned upon, to be understood and supported and for them to know that there is another way.
It is shocking to see and hear of how ‘normalised’ porn has become, and how we have allowed porn and its abusive path to be an accepted dis-ease in our society. Really, what part of it is OK? That children are being exposed and guided by porn is horrendous and the degree that porn in infiltrating into all aspects of our lives is not acceptable. Music videos, magazines, movies, even lyrics in songs are pornographic and we are all exposed to this daily. We need to be honest about what we are seeing and how this makes us truly feel so we can begin to arrest the harmful, damaging, diminishing effects that porn is having on our developing society. Thank you Anon for bringing this much needed conversation to light.
What we do behind closed doors, or even the thoughts that we have in the privacy of our minds are all energy and therefore have an effect on everyone around us. To know and accept this requires responsibility to care for ourself, the way we move and the way we think at all times.
“My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.
I would want such a safe space for every single person on earth, so that nobody ever again has to suffer unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of their practitioner’s lifestyle choices.”
Such integrity not only as a practitioner but as a human being willing to choose such a commitment for themselves and others, is the level of truth lived that is the way forward for humanity to be touched by love and healed.
I love what you share here and the awareness that you had of how the porn was affecting your clients. You knew this before coming to Universal Medicine so I guess it was just very confirming to hear this presented to you.
As a massage therapist myself, I had never heard of or been taught about the responsibility of how we live and how this then effects our clients. Once I was aware, I had to make some major changes to the way I live as I never ever wanted to harm anyone.
What strikes me here is that the way in which you were able to overcome this addiction was not by focussing on the ill behaviour and trying to correct it, but more so by simply reawakening to your true self and in this space, that which did not match such beauty simply faded away and was unable to have the stranglehold it formerly had. In fact, quite the opposite because once reunited with true love, that which is not of this calibre, appears grotesque and repulsive and is seen for the abuse (lack of love) that it is. This is a great example of how to set ourselves free from the chains that keep us bound and expressing far less than the magnificence we truly and so naturally are, when we give ourselves permission to live it in our normal everyday life.
I love that pornography has been exposed as a lack of intimacy. Your blog is calling on all those who are caught up in this addiction to look more deeply at what is going on and their need for intimacy. This blog separates the addiction from the essence of the person and supports them to see they can choose who they really are and see the energy they are choosing to let come through them for the evil it is. Thanks Anonymous – there is much healing in this blog not only for those experiencing the addiction but for others in the way they hold their understanding of it and the people that practice it.
A very noble sharing Anonymous, thankyou. I love the way you have described how, when meeting your clients after watching porn in your lunchbreak ‘the energy of the pornographic images I had let into my body flooded the room and I could feel that I had absorbed the energy of the porn by watching it and this was actually abusive to my client and myself.”
As human beings existing in a 3rd dimensional reality, we seem to find it very difficult to be responsible for that which we are unable to see with the naked eye. This is only possible if we shut down our 6th sense, our ability to feel all that is true through the love in our heart and thus all that does not match such truth/love. This very natural ability that we all have access to, gets overridden by all that we let flood in externally, thus creating a dense fog around our internal barometer of truth. That is, we use our minds and the images we are fed though them to live less than who we are and override the fact that we are 5th dimensional beings existing in a predominantly 3rd dimensional realm, where we have told ourselves: ‘out of sight, out of mind’. But what you are helping to unveil here is that just because we can’t see the visible harm of our actions, does not mean that we are not responsible for them. Indeed, the reason we stopped seeing in the first place, was because we wanted to be kept unaware and therefore unaccountable for our wayward ways. Once re-awakened to “the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with”, as presented by Universal Medicine, it becomes exceeding difficult to hide in this way, and more so, why would we want to when reunited with our gorgeous truth?
We all want to feel our connection to Love with ourselves, with others and share this Love openly without inhibition, protection or fear. Intimacy is sharing our Love through the openness in which we move towards and with another be it with speaking, touch, stand or with any movement. When we are shut down to this in any way we then seek to fullfill the disconnection felt through ways that give a false sense of satisfaction, a sensation of pleasure that momentarily masks the separation we feel, driving us to act out in ways that do not honor us or another in any way. This is not who we are and we do deeply know this, as is why we continue to feel unsettled, discontent and unfulfilled. When we choose to develop a loving relationship with ourselves and our bodies we then begin to discover a Love that is who we are, that is always embracing us. With this we then bring a loving quality that is shared in honor of the Love we know we are, without question, through which our connections shared is a celebration of this loving activity.
What you have described in this blog and the intricacies of the harm that is being caused is running very deep in the veins of society. As you say, more and more men are starting to open up about porn use and addiction and your blog here, is earthing something, like it is providing more space and opportunity for it all to come up and out in the open. Rather than staying in the shame and guilt, you have taken responsibility and this is so very beautiful and inspiring.
A very personal account of the addictive nature of porn and the surrogation it represents for the lack of true connection with others. But what is even more noteworthy is that you bring out into the open the issue of your responsibility for the quality of energy you as a practitioner bring to your clients every day by the way you are living your life. The EPA’s Code of Conduct for practitioners is exceptional in the quality it requires of those accredited to provide esoteric healing modalities and sets an entirely new world standard of care and integrity. A courageous and most thought-provoking blog.
This is a beautiful explanation of the Universal Medicine Modalities ~ ‘ Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with’
Thank you for this honest and very open sharing around a very sensitive subject that needs to get right out into the open.
It takes great honesty, as you have humbly shown, to come to understanding the energetic truth of porn and how it not only harmfully effects and seeks to hook the user but also detrimentally impacts everyone that the user meets. When we are willing to be honest we can the clearly see that with porn the honoring the qualities of true love, respect, intimacy and tenderness are disregarded and instead images and activity of abuse, disrespect, complete disconnection and utter self-gratification that are glorified and glamorised. For children to grow up being guided by this false and loveless way of interacting with people is a crime, one that robs our youth of knowing that loving connections with ourselves and with others is not only healing but is our natural way of being.
“My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.” The quality I live in effects everybody I meet and come into contact with. So it is important for each of us and not only for practitioners.
The practitioners that practice Universal Medicine Therapies and are EPA accredited have the highest integrity level in the world. Exactly because of what you also wrote: they live a life without coffee, alcohol and porn because of the effects this has both on themselves and on their clients. I wish they would introduce this into the medical world. I would feel much safer knowing the surgeon who may operate on me or another were living according to this code of ethics.
As a woman, porn has always somewhat scared me. It is hugely abusive and as shared in this blog the abuse is carried on and is not just while the person is watching it. What scares me now is how prevalent it is in young boys and that they are watching porn at young ages with access via their cellphones and iPads. Not only is this often their first sexual experience, but it can lead to thinking that it is ok to treat women like that. Everyone misses out on the gorgeousness of intimacy and instead replaces it with abuse. It’s a shocking thing.
Universal Medicine is in fact an organisation which holds the highest form of integrity and standard I have ever know. It is lived. This will change the world.
I love the beautiful honesty of this, especially on a topic that has so much shame and secrecy around it. It is a credit to you that you never played dumb to the effects of porn. You could feel how harmful it was. That you were able to heal your addiction easily is a credit to Universal Medicine and what it teaches and inspires in others (and to you in being willing to go there). Awesome blog that can offer much healing.
What an honest and important sharing! I guess everyone who grew up with TV has more or less had experiences with pornography – be it ‘just sex’ in a movie. We get an energy that is around us nearly everywhere and specially these days with ’50 shades of grey’ and other ‘softporn’ books and movies, it sells itself as normal. Thereby we are lacking for true intimacy and fill this emptiness with sex and power games. And in fact there is no true power at all in all of this – we are just puppets of this energy and getting nothing other than exhaustion and grief from it.
It is easy to forget about or not focus on the EPA and the standard set for practitioners. Standards are different from a quality of living that is known to honour both the practitioner and the clients they serve. That this association exists is a testament to Serge Benhayon and his love for and commitment to humanity.
“I have experienced that the Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.” This is so powerful about these specific modalities, they offer you the opportunity to get to the root cause of everything that is not working in your life, of any addiction, be it porn, gambling, gaming, alcohol, sugar or drama.
I agree Monika, the universal medicine modalities are indeed powerful and have greatly supported me in healing my two main addictions which were sugar and drama. How my life has changed since I am no longer controlled by either. I can feel more, I can express more, and I am much more open to letting people get closer, in other words I am sharing much more of the true me, the gentle and tender, beautiful and wise woman I have always been.
Thank you Anonymous for speaking up about your porn addiction, which by the way is no different from any other addiction that takes me away from feeling, knowing, taking responsibility for and sharing the love that I am made of!
I too got to see that all the new age modalities I trained in and worked with where never dealing with nor healing the root cause of a person’s presenting issue, which made sense why clients would get relief for a period of time then come back with the same issue or a different one that seemed related. I always knew something was not right about the work I was doing but only got the understanding when I came along to the Universal Medicine Healing Courses. It was here I got to see what true healing was and how to do it.
There is so much porn out there, it is getting out of control, we need more blogs like yours Anon to lift the lid off this often hidden topic and start the conversation. You have shared how simple it is to stop this addiction: become intimate with yourself and care about people, there really is no excuse for others to not stop, knowing this.
I have never come across a code of ethics for healing practitioners that stipulates a responsible way of living. What a high level of integrity is required and how honouring this is for the clients who are seen by these practitioners. I will no longer to go to any other practitioner than those who are EPA verified.
Thank you very much anonymous for describing so clearly what the effects of watching porn felt like in your body and had on your work. So many women feel rejected by their partner when they find out he loves watching porn. Like they failed, are unattractive and not sexy enough. Some try to go along and watch along, but in the end it always feels empty and it never contributes to connecting to one another. Without a true connection to yourself there can’t be real lovemaking.
Thank you Anonymous for sharing your experience with pornography, how it affected you and others and how much it is a means to fill the emptiness that lack of intimacy leaves us with. If we looked at all our addictions in an honest approach like you have and allowed us to share what effect they have on us, how we feel and act because of them, we would step by step unravel and heal them.
Thanks anonymous for your candid blog on porn. I appreciate how you clearly state why we do porn and how to stop doing porn. I also really like how you have let go of any shame connected to doing porn. Being addicted to porn it is no different to being addicted to say drugs or sport, they are all a distraction away from the fact we feel unmet and empty inside and all want to be loved and crave intimacy..
Wow this is a ground breaking blog on so many levels, one that you admit the harm your lifestyle choices were causing your clients, it is crazy how the profession of therapists think they can ‘bracket’ off their lives from their practise. And the illusion of addiction, be it to porn or a substance being the absolute lack of connection and intimacy with oneself. Amazing.
I always feel a resistance to reading about porn as it is easy to feel the taint of it which shows it is something that affects us all either directly or indirectly as you so clearly expose here anonymous. Appreciating the courage it took to be so honest. How unimposing it must feel in your clinic now, a safe and healing place to be.
The opportunity and change you are now offering is a true blessing for humanity. There are so so so many people out there who are not dealing with their hurts and hence never offering any true form of healing even if their practise may seem as such.
Beautiful to read how your addiction just fell off your shoulders because you became intimate with your natural self. I feel that with all addictions, it has to do with a lack of intimacy and connection. Once we a connection with ourselves, it is impossible to watch porn or do other things that harm us, and others.
What was called porn 30 years ago is today advertisement on every street corner and therefore every child no matter what age and every adult no matter if they like it or not are exposed to it. It is a degradation of women and men in so many ways and to accept that as normal and bring up children in this environment will have detrimental consequences that will bring much suffering into this world.
Your blog Anonymous is so beautifully honest and you bring to light a much needed topic for discussion. For so long we have brushed the shame of pornography under the carpet and now with younger children accessing this as the norm through the internet we need more than ever to share experiences and the harm caused and felt by watching porn.
Your sharing is so important for all as we are all in much need of true healing and true healing can only come through someone that has healed that same issue for themselves. When I want to stop smoking I cannot ask advice and treatment from someone that smokes – it just does not make sense and the same applies to every emotion, dis-ease and dismay that we carry.
Great point you are making, we cannot support sexual abuse on one hand and then on the other hand attempt to be part of healing sexual abuse in someone. It simply does not work like this as it goes against all the energetic laws of the universe.
This is a very honest account of your healing from porn addiction and clearly shows why the Universal Medicine therapies are so powerful.
Not only do we impose an energy like porn on another after having taken on such energy but already the simple neediness seeking for fulfillment through another person is an imposition. We are responsible for our own needs, ie. to truly and lovingly take care of our primary needs (the real and natural ones like sleep, thirst, hunger, intimacy, connection, equality…) before they morph into secondary or tertiary needs that are just twisted surrogates leaving us at the mercy of our addictions and compulsions may they be socially accepted or not.
The beauty of Sacred Esoteric Healing sessions with a Universal Medicine esoteric practitioner is you know that the practitioner has the highest level of integrity both physically and energetically; living in a way that would never harm or impose an abusive energy on themselves or another. The second is, it is a true healing. Beliefs, addictions, buried hurts, sadness, anger are cleared from the body .. it is then a choice of how we live after this has cleared, we can move forward embracing all who we are or go back to unloving ways. I loved how you have explained the Universal Medicine modalities it is simple and so true ‘I have experienced that the Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.’ Also thank you for such an honest blog showing how the lack of intimacy when growing up leads us to look not only outside of ourselves for love but unable to discern what is harming and what is love. Not truly understanding intimacy or having this in our lives (not just sexual but the connection between anyone) is I think something that nearly all of us have. This shows just how much there is to discuss, heal, learn and change. I currently work in sexual health with young people, in this field of work it is shared how we do not talk with young people about intimacy, touch or orgasums so currently of course young people turn to porn to learn about this .. but as you so rightly share from your experience, porn teaches us nothing but instead pulls another veil of illusion over us.
The greater the emptiness/need the stronger the images/energy are attracted and drawn in. Once let in the energy is playing out until one gets rid of it which is not easy as long as the emptiness/need is not healed, ie. The true answer to the need is lived like intimacy in the here mentioned example of porn.
The rise of pornographic media (advertisement, TV, movies, magazines, sexting, internet…) can be seen as directly proportional to the rising lack of intimacy. Humanity craves for intimacy like nothing else – intimacy with self and others.
Agreed!!!!!
Well said Alex, that’s such a valid point.
And if we further look into it: Intimacy would naturally be there if we wouldn’t offset it. The reading can be as follows: There is so much love amongst us today, that we have to offset it in more and more extreme ways.
This is such a stupendous article to me. For me it shows so clearly that watching porn is the result of the lack of intamacy with ourselves. I can personally second that. As men we’ve the responsibility to not dump our craving for intamacy on women, which is a form of abusive control, but take responsibility for our own choices. We’re to observe ourselves, deal with what is going on inside of us and slowly rebuild our self-worth – as is written here so clearly – so that naturally we don’t ‘need’ the abusiveness that watching porn is. The shame around it is still enormous as all men know the devastating effect is has on themselves and towards (a lot of) women. We’re super-super powerful, delicate and honest as Men and as is clearly written in this blog, able to heal our deepest hurts. The change starts with being honest and a genuine look for True answers.
Very strong exposé not only of what porn does but how energy in general impacts on us when we allow it to enter and then also affects others by our emanation and distorted way of being. Knowing just this demonstrates how far-reaching responsibility is way beyond our common understanding and standards.
A very honest and exposing story picturing clearly the harm of porn. I feel there is a great denial going on when we don’t accept that porn will affect our quality of being. Something that is so intense and imposing as pornographic material will always impact on us if we go to view it and are looking for something from it. What you shared anonymous was a very powerful description of the healing room you occupied after watching porn. That level of discernment and understanding is rare, but it shouldn’t be as we can all feel the intensity of something like viewing porn, drinking alcohol or abusing our bodies and how no healing can take place if we are a practitioner not caring for ourselves first.
The pornographic industry is not something that I would like to see as a part of this world. To me, it takes beauty and crushes it under abuse and this is a violation of every person who has been exposed to the energy of pornography.
Wow this is such a strong blog about true integrity. How can we treat a sexual abuse victim when we consume and are addicted to sexual abuse via porn? As you describe your experience you were basically living the energy of sexual abuse while on the surface, in your professional job, you were offering healing for it. This is an amazing sharing and of huge value for the world. Thanks for sharing this truth so openly.
This is great testimony that shows that secrecy does not exist. We cannot do anything behind closed doors or in our private space that does not affect the all. The example of porn consumption shows it very clearly that the energy consumed is present way after the actual event of watching porn and that it is something that lives in the body and pops up whenever it likes. Our integrity lays in how we are 24/7 and the respect and love we live.
Healing addictions is not such an easy task. It is about renouncing a place within where we feel is us, but in truth it is not.
The beauty of standing in front of another with eyes that confirm the purity of all of us is really something
The key to realise where we are really at and what the consequences is to have a body that is as clear as possible.
Porn, like any other addiction, is like a pacifier of a life lived in the tension of not being truthful. It never pacifies though. It cannot.
When we choose pollution, we cannot truly help others.
Short, sharp and right on the money Eduardo – thank you for naming it pollution, as that is exactly what it is.
Thank you for this intimate and very reviling article. As you have so clearly revealed, porn is not something that can just sit in a dark corner, while we carry on with our lives ignorantly thinking that it does not have some kind of affect on the way we relate to others, and especially our intimate and personal relationships.
Thank you Anonymous for sharing your experience – porn addiction is definitely worth having open discussions about, so we can begin to look at the root cause of the issue, rather than making people feel bad or wrong about the symptom.
The absolute integrity of Universal Medicine Practitioners is unseen and unheard of in this world and it is not only that practitioners are empowered to live in this absolute integrity, but every single person who chooses the Way of The Livingness and with this to live in absolute responsibility. Universal Medicine presents that we are all practitioners in life no matter what we do professionally we always have the capacity to heal or to harm.
This is a brilliant expose on the harmful effects that porn is having on all of humanity Anonymous and thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. I’m sure it will be helpful to so many to know and understand that the need for porn is borne out of the fact that there is no connection and intimacy with others let alone with self and so therefore building a relationship and connection with self would be a great place to start with the healing process.
Wow, thank you for such an open an honest blog – i am sure that many many men and women will relate to what you have shared, either being in the position of the one addicted, or on the receiving end of knowing someone who carries that energy with them.
Recently I have started to be honest about the lack of intimacy I have in my life and opened up to start to change this, your blog shows just how healing intimate relationships are. Thank you.
Pornography is a very poor substitute for genuine intimacy and is only sought in the absence of a true connection with oneself, which then allows a connection with another. From this place of connection, it is very evident that pornography and / or disconnected sex is deeply harmful.
Anonymous, what is very confirming for me in what you have written is that we all know when we are causing harm to another. From what you have written there was absolutely no doubt that you were causing your clients harm and how strongly this was felt in your body. This had nothing to do with Serge Benhayon or Universal medicine telling you something it was your body speaking loudly and delivering you the truth of the harm you were causing. It is also incredible that without any trying the porn addiction which had plagued you simply dropped away. You had built the intimacy within your body that you had missed and the need for pornography became obsolete. This is true healing and does indeed demonstrate the power of the healing Universal Medicine presents. Thank you for your honesty and sharing what it is like to be a man growing up in society where it is accepted that it is OK not to hug boys and children are not touched. You have shared what the repercussions of this mind set really are.
A great example Anonymous of the effect our choices have on others… This needs to be shared and taught in every therapy course, “so that nobody ever again has to suffer unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of their practitioner’s lifestyle choices.”
Part of me always wanted to believe that if we do not see something, it is not there because that way I don’t have to take responsibility for my actions and yet that is so very wrong. Harm is not isolated to physical abuse and verbal abuse, energetic harm is as if not more harmful as we believe that it is OK. Through reading your blog anonymous I’m reminded that it is the way we live in every single moment that will in time change the ugliness of the world around us.
Beautifully said Fiona, for we can never underestimate the depth and potential of how the quality of how we live has a ripple effect on others.
The Code of Ethics set out by the Esoteric Practitioner’s Association is the most detailed and comprehensive requirements that any practitioner could agree to live by. The ethics truly support the integrity of the practitioners and the services they provide their clients. What I find unique about the EPA is that it is a code of ethics that is lived by hundreds of Universal Medicine students, in all types of career, and in many continents of the world. It is a standard lived by its members that is worthy of every ounce of trust given to them by their clients.
Like anything we have in our lives, we can assess it honestly and truthfully or justify its place in our life. Until we can be in an unbiased state of being that has the truth at the forefront of the decision-making process, no meaning life advances will be able to be achieved.
What I loved about your sharing is that if we connect back to what is true, all that is not true in our lives, like porn, stands out for what it truly is, which makes us free to choose to not do it without need for a long strenuous kick off process so to speak.
Its amazing to consider like all illnesses and behaviours that humans have, viewing pornography has an underlying cause. Nothing is down to chance, genetics or ‘hormones’ it is all derived from somewhere. Its also amazing to consider that like almost anything else, if we are no longer choosing the energy that makes us seek pornography, it will become repulsive to us, and seen for what it truly is.
What a profound understanding and deep support you are now able to offer to your clients with your new found insights and and the level of absolute responsibility you now live in your daily life. The EPA’s Code of Ethics and Conduct is absolutely unique and something that other health care organizations or any other organization should take a close look at.
What you’ve exposed here about porn is huge, and something that ought to be shared widely — this is what the press should be reporting on, the horrific effects of porn addiction. Thank you for such a deeply honest and humbling account.
Wow anonymous, you break some massive misconceptions here about so much — true healing, harming and of course, any notion we have that the effects of porn stay behind closed doors. As a human race we have conveniently dismissed that everything is energy first and foremost, and energy is felt by us all. So if we’re angry another will feel this and if our anger is unresolved and we then proceed to treat a person by giving them a so-called healing, what we do is lace them with our anger. That is why the EPA as you share there holds the highest standards of professionalism and integrity, second to none for practitioners. It calls us to the true responsibility we all have — to recognise that everything we do counts and impacts everyone, and that nothing can stay behind closed doors. The energy is always felt.
‘So the images of naked skin gave me the illusion of people being close, meeting each other. In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.’ Thank you anonymous, for your profound sharing – this dicussion is so needed in our society. Our true nature is to be intimate, with ourselves and everyone else, but not in a sexual way – it is the deep and true connection with ourselves and others that we are craving. You can see that in a bayby’s eyes, the deep knowing that they are enough just for who they are, however soon they learn that they need something from the outside that can make them feel they are good enough and the sense of emptiness on the inside is allowed to grow over the years, because there are no one around that truly reflects anything different. THIS the porn industry is taking advantage of, to the extent that a lot, if not most people now have ‘accepted’ porn to be not only ‘intimacy’ but a normal entertainment in our society.
So well expressed, for me this is the life of a student of The Livingness, as we ‘simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.’ How power-full is that, I love it!
To re-connect and live a loving life where holding yourself in love and holding love in every movement, although very simple, brings amazing healing and changes lives. Thank you Anonymous for your honest sharing and the understanding of one of the ways lack of connection and intimacy can play out in a person’s life. Everything is energy and everything is because of energy thus all that we live in out lives energetically is carried in our body affecting all others. The EPA Accreditation is the best in the world and the absolute commitment to self and to clients it requires, calls for a deepening awareness of what is true and the fact that we are what we live 24hours a day. I deeply appreciate all that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has brought through for Humanity.
Thank you for your wonderfully honest account of your addiction to porn and how it finally came to an end with the support of the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. So many in the world are seeking intimacy and unfortunately porn attracts the deep emptiness that the lack of intimacy engenders. Your eventual healing is so inspirational and I know that many others who read this will also be inspired.
This is an incredibly powerful story and a testament to Universal Medicine and yourself. The high level of integrity that is a necessity in its Code of Ethics supports people to truly heal. You have shown just how damaging this is to not live this way or adhere to such ethics. Thank you for being so honest about such an important subject.
It is commonly accepted that men use porn but women can be addicted to porn too. I used to watch porn movies at home and imagine myself in some of those scenes where men were paying me attention and having sex with me. This was pure fantasy but it played out in relationships with other men, where having sex was the main objectve. Looking back I can see that my craving for sex was my craving for intimacy.
Anonymous this paragraph ‘So the images of naked skin gave me the illusion of people being close, meeting each other. In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex’ is so powerful because it lifts the lid on why many people watch porn. Deep down what we all truly want is true intimacy with another, to be met in full and to meet another in full. That ‘meeting’ of one another has nothing to do with sex, in fact I would suggest that often sex is devoid of being met, despite the physical closeness.
Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.” This is because Universal Medicine modalities start with the premise that we are all divine and when we re-connect to our divine nature then we are naturally impulsed to live in a loving divine way hence why it is not about discipline but re-connecting to the love that we are.
Really love the energetic integrity that comes with Universal Medicine… The fact that there are so many healing practitioners out there who live a life of self abuse whilst claiming to heal others is so alarming. I had a lot of treatment from both western and alternative medicine that seemed to make me worse before finding Universal Medicine. The difference in the level of care and responsibility is HUGE! UM is like a breath of fresh air in my body and has, and continues to do so, support true healing for me which supports me to abuse myself and others less and less as the days go by. The knock on effect this true healing has on the world is massive so each and every one of us that chooses this level of honest healing is contributing to a massive change in the world where people really do just want to be loved and to love ❤️.
Truly thank you Anonymous for writing this honest piece of writing about your experience with pornography (addiction). It is so very needed, to be honest, , to share what we actually feel and what effect porn has on us, once we let it have an entry. Like you said this comes from our lack of connection and intimacy with ourselves. So must look deep within and feel what we miss – then there is no need to watch porn and continue in this abuse.
I used to think that there was nothing wrong with a bit of porn for consenting adults, even though I overrode the fact that it didn’t feel right, which I put down to Catholic guilt or something. Through Universal Medicine I am learning more and more that what we feel is so important and should be taken notice of even though the brain or our thoughts are trying to say that it is nothing and try to make excuses for what we do actually feel.
Thank you for such an open, honest and true account about porn and much much more. Firstly as someone that would use porn in the past I know the draining and addictive effects it has along with the guilt and shame. Yet what you bring here is the fact of why? What is behind the use of porn? Why are so many people addicted to it from a very young age at school? And what effect does porn have on ourself and all our relationships? It’s quite staggering to see how debilitating this addiction can be yet at the same time how simple it can be to drop away and no longer be part of life. The key for me was the care and love I held myself with, then the need for porn is not there. I know this was only possible through the presentations of Universal Medicine as everything else in life simply covered over the tension and lack of connection I felt inside.
Thank you for sharing anonymous. I can imagine this blog will support many in understanding porn or any addiction for that matter. We think that what we do when no one is watching doesn’t matter, but the energy of it comes with us in what ever we do.
It is great to know that Esoteric Practitioners Association has set the standard that no accredited practitioner can indulge in porn as how could true healing ever take place when the practitioner indulges in any practice that creates a fog in their awareness. It makes me squirm when I recall the lack of discernment I had when I saw healers and other medical practitioners, due to the fact that I was indulging in substances that also dampened my sensitivities – so I did not trust my feelings of ill-ease some times. It makes sense why I was never able to fully surrender to the treatment – part of me was always on high alert.
What you describe so clearly Anon is the secrecy and emptiness that so often follows after using an activity such as porn to satisfy our need for connection and intimacy. It can feel like such a strong pull that needs to be met but in reality is empty of the love and connection we so miss. Porn addiction like many other addictions can build in intensity with the need for more of it more frequently as well as more graphic images or scenarios. We can develop a tunnel vision where our focus narrows more on this activity and we lose connection with others and work. It is lovely to read how you found your way back to true connection with self and others and how you now understand energetic integrity to be.
Thank you Anonymous your honesty will be healing for the many many people that are hooked into porn without recognising or realising the damage it can do, not only to themselves, but to those around them. By understanding that it is the craving of intimacy and the misunderstanding that porn can somehow take the place of this helps to understand why so many people seek out porn in their lives. The more we build intimacy with ourselves and get to know who we are then porn no longer becomes an option as we can begin to feel how abusive and absolutely unloving it is. Being open and talking about the harm porn does stops it being the elephant in the room that no one talks about. “More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.”
Thats amazing anon that even before coming across Universal Medicine you experienced what it was like to bring the quality of how you were living to another person as with the lunchtime porn watching example. Your experience of Universal Medicine I can likewise relate to in that it helps support us in the knowing that we already have within us all that can heal and never is it about bringing something in from the outside to cure what is in our lives. Once we understand this life isn’t about running away from issues that are seemingly with us for life, rather what we can bring out that supports others to bring about their own healing.
Wow anon, thank you for your raw and honest disclosure. I felt the creepiness of you as the practitioner filled with pornographic images to the point you had difficulty in being present with the real person in front of you. This is huge. And from all accounts it is happening with our young boys at an earlier age due to internet access and the availability of segments of soft porn in our mainstream publications, films and TV shows, and music video clips.
An absolutely excellent blog exposing the true harm of pornography! The energy of porn indeed clouds ones thoughts, meeting eyes with another person is too exposing because of this. Thank you for so clearly exposing how Pornography was able to affect your life. Once exposing this for what it is, it is clear to see how it is not only abusive to the people who star in these images/films, but also to everything who views and is in the vicinity of anyone who uses it.
Anonymous there is so much to applaud about this article. Firstly your courage to speak out about such a personal and often hidden topic, secondly the incredible understanding that you bring to the subject and thirdly the beautiful quality that you now live in and practice with. Such an important piece of writing.
Universal Medicine is the only healing organisation I have come across that actually calls people to account on the way that they live. The code of ethics by the EPA outlines clearly the responsibility required in ones personal life if one wants to practice the esoteric modalities taught. And this makes so much sense because as you say, the healing modalities encourage us to feel the energy of everything, therefore you cannot be doing something like porn and think you are healing someone. But ultimately, once you have experienced true intimacy and love and have felt the truth of the energy of porn you will never want to touch it again. So no love is lost in deciding to let it go!
Wow Anonymous. It was actually very hard to keep reading your blog when you were talking about the effects your porn addiction had on clients. Such a horrible feeling and a horrific energy. It is so important that you share this though, as people need to know the harmful effects that porn has on themselves and everyone around them and how insidious it is.
It is absolutely true Anonymous that each and everyone of us has a great responsibility to be aware of energetic integrity and what that actually means, and even more so if we are healing or counselling others, especially when those others may be recovering from sexual abuse.
Porn has become the norm but as you so clearly share, it is at odds with our true normal.
It is quite astounding how it is commonly accepted and believed that those in the caring professions can leave the energy of their private lives outside the treatment room/work place as they pass through the door. When it is brought to one’s awareness it seems so obvious that this not possible. The EPA Code of Ethics, which clearly delineates this, is unlike any other professional code of ethics in the world, and one can be assured that every practitioner member endeavours to live by its principles to the best of their ability.
I also remember my first introduction to porn that at the time was called soft porn, which was less revealing than what is now acceptable on standard TV. Today anything and everything imaginable and unimaginable is available to you on your phone 247. These images are destroying the way boys see and treat women and porn is just promoting a forceful physical act on another. By watching pornography, we deny ourselves and others the tenderness that lies within us from this addiction.
Thank you anonymous for being so frank about the effects of porn and how it was affecting your ability to truly help people who had suffered sexual abuse. It makes sense that by having the energy of porn running through your body you would not then be able to assist someone else to release that energy from their bodies, and hence no true healing can occur. So this does bring to the forefront how may therapists there are who have not truly healed their own hurts but are under the illusion that they can help to heal someone else, when in actual fact they could be harming another.
Wow anonymous, thank you for sharing your story of porn addiction so openly and honestly, it is very interesting to read this;’ In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.’ reading this I can feel that growing up when I would become sexually involved with men what I was actually craving was love and intimacy and not sex.
Thank you Rebecca Wingrave for your honesty from a woman’s perspective. This is so often the case in many relationships where sexual activity occurs immediately in the initial stages of meeting someone as the craving for connection and being met is so evident.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. Your honesty is a light for others to also express truly what is going on for them.
Internet porn is so strong and so ubiquitous that it is difficult to find men at a university for a scientific study that haven’t used internet porn. It is as if, in reaction to the Catholic dicta against masturbation, society has gone to the extreme opposite with it being absolutely everywhere with only Apple not allowing it in its app store.
The level of responsibility and integrity required to be an EPA practitioner are unique and unparalleled in this world. It makes sense that the quality in which we live our lives is going to be the quality we bring to everything we do – including our healing room if we are a practitioner. We cannot heal an issue in another until we have healed it in our own bodies – and this goes for anything – sexual abuse, porn, anger, frustration etc. For me today, I will only seek counsel and healing from an EPA practitioner as I know they have all made the commitment to live this level of responsibility.
Thank you Anonymous, this is a powerful and honest sharing of your experience of being addicted to pornography to bringing true healing through Esoteric Healing Modalities.
I also came to the work of Universal Medicine from a background of various alternative therapies and remember being completely blown away by the depth of love and care in the EPA code of conduct when applying for accreditation. The EPA (Esoteric Practitioners Association) is second to none worldwide with its profound code of conduct – something I had never experienced with any other therapy.
I remember when first reading it, it brought tears to my eyes from feeling the words energetically in my body. Never before had I seen such an all-encompassing, supportive document asking for a commitment to the quality of how practitioners live their lives on a daily basis, so as not to cause harm or impose on anyone energetically.
For me, the EPA code of conduct is a blessing and a healing in itself.
“It was the first time in my life I had heard of this or come across an organisation that considered how what the practitioner does will directly impact upon the quality of healing that is offered to a client”.
This is why Stephanie we feel safe, met and held when we go to any Universal Medicine practitioner. Just being in their presence is healing in itself before they apply any modality.
For me it make sense that all that we do in our private lives affects how we are at our workplace but before I came across Universal Medicine it was not something I wanted to consciously know because that would mean I had to take a close look at all my behaviours and take responsibility for my way of living. Now I know that doing just that is true medicine. The EPA is so far I know the first practitioners association that have set this high standards for its members and I would say they are a perfect example for any other association because in order to truly heal mankind from the misery where we are in we need energetic integrity and take full responsibility how all our actions affect the whole.
Serge Benhayon presents the fact that the energy we choose to live in has an effect on every relationship we have with ourselves and others and this article is a clear demonstration of this. The integrity and true way of living that is required of every accredited practitioner of the Universal Medicine therapies ensures that no client is harmed by the destructive energy that comes through porn.
There is a huge pressure specially on our youth that we allow to influence us by not expressing who we naturally are. Every point of intimacy lessens this pressure.
Its great to see a really honest blog about this subject, I hope lots of people get to read this – I’m sure a lot of people are ‘poisoned’ by this energy. I once had a boss who used to watch it at his desk at work and ‘mates’ would come around and watch as well in his office. I quit my job, I was 19 at the time but it felt way too creepy and foul for me.
Thank you anonymous for your honest writing about how you have lived with porn and the effect it had on your treatments and your entire life. How porn has its influence on humanity as a whole is very underestimated, we all can feel its abusive nature and how it adds to the denigrating of women but also there is a denigrating of men, as sexual obsessed creatures. Pornography has a very destructive energy and internet is full of it, exposing this by telling your own story and how Esoteric Healing has supported you to come back to your natural self and how porn was no longer possible is what is needed as there is so much shame and guilt around this subject and we have to open our eyes to what extent it is abusive.
Thank you for bringing this to humanity’s awareness. Often these behaviours are kept secret and their perverse effects can be harming to everyone as we all feel energy. As you say the lack of intimacy from our parents as children leaves us wondering and looking for it without realising that true intimacy is found within.
This blog is much needed as pornography is now seen as the norm for our young in setting up ideas and beliefs on what intimacy is all about and a form of fun and entertainment for couples. I have heard many friends use pornography in a light hearted banter that is often showing a much deeper level of concern in how we communicate between the sexes. A harming tool that is having a devastating effect on all.
It is extraordinary the way Esoteric Healing works on our bodies energetically, but it leaves no space for any falsities in life such as pornography. Although I was not addicted to porn, I was heavily obsessed by needing sex – as at that time I thought that it was normal for a man to have that tension in them. I was not aware of the harm that pornography and this way of being was causing to men, women and to society as a whole before I met Universal Medicine. Through its healing and way of presenting, based on the fact that we are all from love and that we have to reconnect to that inner spark that is in each of us, I have filled my emptiness and with that the need for sex in my life. Now I can see what pornography is doing to our society, and my need for having sex is as I can see it now, was a direct result of the luring energy that pornography holds over mankind.
“I would want such a safe space for every single person on earth, so that nobody ever again has to suffer unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of their practitioner’s lifestyle choices.” and this can extend to everyone we meet, everyday. As it is not only practitioners that carry their lifestyle choices with them when seeing another. we all do it everyday, and can either harm or heal when we walk down the street. Thank you for sharing this anonymous it was so great and brought something tangible for everyone.
Well said Emily this is so true the way we live ” heals ” or ” harms “
Thank you Anonymous for honestly sharing the many sinister ways pornography seeps into our lives and affects ourselves and everyone around us. It shows that there is something very wrong with how we are connecting with each other as a whole by the rise in pornography…and being watched by children in primary school. This needs to be talked about in our schools, in our homes, work places, associations and definitely in any and all healing modalities! Really bottom line, many organizations and workplaces do not want to know the level of responsibility in how we live, either heals or harms another. The EPA is a first I’ve ever heard of or seen in the world that completely put people first… seems a no brainer… but this is definitely not the norm. Thank you EPA for leading the way in full transparency and integrity.
Porn is a reaction to the lack of intimacy in the world. Every time somebody walks past us looking at their smartphone a moment of intimacy was missed. When that need becomes big, and for most of us it could be all the time, the desire for porn grows.
I love how you became gradually aware of how porn was affecting not only you, but your clients too, and you were willing to address it in order to not harm others- a huge step up in responsibility which is very pleasing to read about.
Well done! You truly met the requirements to join the EPA.
Yes, it is quite shocking how many activities affect us hours and days later and how our ability to be of service and to understand people is affected.
Everything is energy therefore we have a responsibility in all that we do. We can not compartmentalize any part of our lives thinking that we are getting away with it. What we do in one area affects all others. When practitioners of all sorts truly understand this there will be a call to step up in our energetic integrity and how we live before offering a service.