Until recently, I had previously only ever felt a man’s true tenderness once in my life; a tenderness where there is no holding back, no protection or guard, just pure love and adoration, for not only themselves but also another.
To experience a man’s true tenderness is nothing short of amazing and exquisite – to feel the absolute joy in them, the expression of and being of gentleness, no holding back from all that they are.
There is a strength within this tenderness, without any hardness.
Observing such a different way of being in the men in and around my life, knowing and feeling there was a tenderness within, but that it was not being lived or expressed, I felt there was a fear that if their tenderness was let out for anyone to see, they would be seen as weak.
Why do we as a society support and allow men to be all that they are not when they are truly beauty-full?
Growing up, we are led to believe that this is just how things are; a given, an ideal so to speak, that we do not question. It becomes a part of us – a consciousness you could say – that boys and girls, men and women are not just separated by gender but also by clothes, colours, hairstyles, career choices, etc.
Nowhere do we allow or support a man to grow up being able to express what he is feeling.
Why should women be the only ones allowed to express, to be gentle and to nurture, while men are supposed to be hard, tough, the one who is always the rock? Is there something here that maybe we have taken for granted?
What if there is more to men than what we allow them to be?
Could it be possible to allow ourselves to feel that men are equally as tender as women, and that perhaps the life they are living is not truly the way they could be living?
Is it possible that underneath that hard, tough exterior is an amazing quality, a feeling of tenderness that is so special it needs to be nurtured, encouraged and supported by us as women so that quality can be expressed?
If you have ever felt the true tenderness of a man, this is a question that does not even need to be asked.
We all deserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included.
To suppress and ignore this tenderness is robbing society of a true beauty, unlike any other.
I have experienced a man’s true tenderness in conversation, in passing and simply in their presence. It is truly inspirational and amazing.
To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent.
That men now have the opportunity to feel and be this true tenderness has been made possible, and is supported by, the work and livingness of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. I thank you Serge for being the tender and glorious man that you are and that you live and reflect for all to see, feel and be inspired by. For it is this livingness that allows others to also connect to the tenderness they are and bless us all, equally so.
By Nicole Serafin, Australia
Just feeling and knowing that men can be tender and gentle too is a step in the right direction. I had not had this experience of tenderness, gentleness and such warmth from a man until I met Serge Benhayon. I have always been very guarded with men they were not my favorite people at all. Serge Benhayon has showed me over the years that I cannot tar every man with the same brush as the saying goes. Now, I know lots of men who are so tender and gentle to be around and it is such a pleasure to drop my guard and allow myself to relax in their company.
Tenderness and Sacredness are part of us all and when this is being lived to our best ability then the level of Love we are exploring will deepen along with being Tender and Sacred.
It is so beautiful to experience a man opening up and beginning to trust himself and another enough to express himself without fear. I so appreciate being part of this unfolding and it inspires me to be more tender and allow my own fragility to be felt.
Yes, we are all naturally tender, and it feels lovely when we allow ourselves to live and feel this, ‘Is it possible that underneath that hard, tough exterior is an amazing quality, a feeling of tenderness that is so special it needs to be nurtured, encouraged and supported by us as women so that quality can be expressed?’
“If you have ever felt the true tenderness of a man, this is a question that does not even need to be asked.” So true Nicole. There is an undeniable and exquisite beauty about a man who is connected to his tenderness.
I experienced this as a woman growing up, ‘Nowhere do we allow or support a man to grow up being able to express what he is feeling.’ I was encouraged to be fearless and hard, even if not always directly, so have myself had to re-learn to feel, to be delicate, vulnerable and tender.
I grew up with the same ideals as a girl in the 70’s and beyond, I would say that the idea that’s strength equals toughness was pretty pervasive and encouraged across both genders with comments such as ‘don’t be a girl’ said to both boys and girls when any sensitivity was shown.
Beliefs seems to spread like wildfire, how else do you explain the almost global idea that men are tough, hard, insensitive and not expressive? The recently coined term ‘toxic masculinity’ points towards the realisation that the ideals we place boys and men into is a form of unhealthy constriction and that it doesn’t serve boys, men or communities. Depending on where you are born in the world there is a different flavour for how men are supposed to be instead of letting them be who they naturally are.
The extraordinary touch that is felt by the whole body when we are in the presence of one who is tender and that comes from one who lives consistently from their Inner-Heart and this level of Livingness is possible for everyone.
I agree Nicole, it is absolutely exquisite to be in the presence of a man that is connecting and expressing their true tenderness. In a world that is dominated in force and aggression and the impact that this has to be around the opposite of this and the delicate nature of a tender man is refreshing and very welcomed.
When we let go any protection, there can’t be gender fight, but a deep honouring and enrichment with each other between men and women.
Yes let’s support and encourage others to allow their tenderness to be seen and felt and the ripples of this will spread around the world.
Speaking as a woman who has spent most of her life hiding her tenderness beneath a tough exterior I can feel how this has not only kept me imprisoned in feelings of isolation but also not supported others both men and women to explore their tenderness. The more I have allowed my layers of protection to melt the more I have experienced tenderness from and with others and it is exquisite.
What I find difficult is how much women champion men not being tender but being rough, tough, non expressive etc. This too is exposing and shows how women have denied there own sensitivity too.
” I felt there was a fear that if their tenderness was let out for anyone to see, they would be seen as weak. ”
That is part of it , the other part is that one is rejected . That is why if you see some men with babies or animals they are totally tender and supportive in these instances , there is possibility of rejection.
‘To suppress and ignore this tenderness is robbing society of a true beauty, unlike any other.’ Maybe women are more allowed to let their tenderness out but do we? Both men and women can appreciate this beautiful innate quality more to let it out in full and support each other to become real and open again.
It is exquisite to feel the tenderness of a man who knows and appreciates his own tenderness.
Like reveals like… Tenderness reveals tenderness, letting go of our protection we have the opportunity to see and be seen.
Dropping our guards to reveal the exquisiteness of who we are to our partners, our work colleagues, our family, opens the space for true relationship.
There is so much more to men… We are so used to the so-called role models, the hardness, the matcho-ness, the way we are brought up… And yet there is a light to be seen in the eyes of man that can be rekindled so simply so easily.
The more I honour my tenderness the more glorious I feel.
I know for me that my wife has always been the incredible rock, steadiness, consistency, amazing strength, in our relationship… And she just gets better and better. 😉
We really do have these beliefs that men need to be the ‘rock’. Recently, I was reflecting on my life and I realised that as a woman I actually provide a great steadiness to many people in my life. That I am actually the ‘rock’ for many men in my life, not through a hardness but through a consistent, caring and loving way.
That’s true for me too as a woman, it’s actually our love that is the rock and tenderness is a natural part of our love and care.
I was struck by something in your blog. “Why should women be the only ones allowed to express, to be gentle and to nurture, while men are supposed to be hard, tough, the one who is always the rock?” And yet the insane thing is that this is not how women are being. Despite everything that you have written and everything that women see in men, they themselves are hardening up as well. So, is there something at play here? Is it possible that the male and female expression are both mutually equal, mutually supportive and mutually evolutionary? Without men being tender, women are not pulled to their natural tenderness and without women being tender men are too scared to be tender. It’s a daft dog-chase-tail situation and it is thus all of our responsibilities to deeply commit to the truth of what we are and we can no longer hold the other sex hostage, otherwise nothing will change.
True Otto, in essence we share equal qualities of sensitivity. The question as to whether we allow ourselves to express these qualities without protection is up to us…. and yes both the male and female expression are mutually equal, supportive and evolutionary.
” To suppress and ignore this tenderness (of men ) is robbing society of a true beauty, unlike any other.”
This is so true for society only gets a shadow of what a true man is in his essence.
Most men do not want to be tender, sensitive and living in and with their majesty. They resist it. This is outwardly resulting in the world we all complain about and do not like. Whilst we all have an equal responsibility in allowing this to be the bigger point here is why men have collectively accepted that they need to be hard and tough. Why not all get together and say enough is enough and we want to live that gorgeousness again?
If we all let go of the societal expectations and pictures of how men should behave and be and allowed them to simply be themselves and express their tender selves I cannot but wonder of the potential that could be lived by all of us equally and the wonderful shifts that would occur in society itself as a result.
Re reading his blog, I realise that in the 3 years since the blog was written I have been witnessing a growing number of men choose to start embracing their tenderness and sensitivity in all aspects of their lives.
I love the experience of being around men who are choosing this, so supportive and honouring. It has been a joy witnessing the increase in the openness, intimacy and wisdom shared in their friendships. It is also very inspiring.
Being met by a man who holds the quality of tenderness at heart, feels like being embraced by the arms of Brotherhood. This is what we miss out on when we do not allow men to express and be who they naturally are. The qualities they bring are essential for us to understand the power of tenderness that resides within us all equally is who we are, and through this unifying quality Brotherhood is lived.
Sharing our tenderness and that of another is the most beautiful feeling, one we want to constantly enjoy in our lives. Rembering that it begins with our choice to live in the grace of our love and not with needing another to treat us with tenderness is the step we want to miss.
Great call for women to nurture, encourage and support men to feel safe to express their tenderness and bless us all with the loveliness of their true expression.
Men do not have a large enough reflection that is is OK to be tender. And the trouble is, many women are toughening up to be with men rather than allowing their true sensitivity and vulnerability to shine through. The tenderness men can offer and be in is exquisite and anything less is the world truly missing out.
A gorgeous testimony Nicole to the true nature of men; how beautiful it is to know, feel and share that. What you have shared here is true and I agree whole-heartedly;
“To experience a man’s true tenderness is nothing short of amazing and exquisite – to feel the absolute joy in them, the expression of and being of gentleness, no holding back from all that they are”.
When one man commits to tenderness within himself, and allows his life to reflect this connection , the domino effect is extraordinary
Yes and all the Kings horses could not drag us back to being less tender than the current marker we are at!
So beautiful to see and feel that at last men are able to show their true delicate feelings of tenderness and this is being felt, acknowledged and appreciated by us women.
“There is a strength within this tenderness,” We all have a responsibility to allow men, and all of us, to express and live with tenderness.
Tenderness is such a gorgeous quality to feel in oneself and in another and yet it is something that generally is ridiculed and denigrated in the media and the press. In schools too there seems no regard for tenderness and it is certainly not deemed as being cool. It takes a lot to go against the trend but if we can allow ourselves to feel our tenderness and allow this quality to inform our movements the rewards in our body are huge.
Men and women are equally tender, I love how some women and men are feeling safe and confident to be able to express their tenderness more and more.
In speaking to people I feel men’s tenderness and sensitivities are being spoken about, its like an awareness is being rolled out for discussion, exposing the old image of men having to be hard, tough and emotionless. This is such a blessing for all to expose the truth of men in their essence, opening the way for natural expression equally for men.
“Nowhere do we allow or support a man to grow up being able to express what he is feeling..” This is so true. Young boys are called cissie if they cry and think they have to be tough, so hiding their true feelings. They need to be given permission from a young age to express, as women are……. Tenderness is a beautiful quality in men and women. Mmmm.
I love that you express the tenderness that you see in men and you know them to be. We often see things in another but if we do not express what we truly see, the beauty, the sweetness, the tenderness.. , we hold each other imprisoned in the roles we have learned to play.
To feel the true essence of anyone, man woman or child, is to catch a glimpse of the divine, and then that is innately inspiring for us all.
If we were all tender with ourselves and each other, there would be far less tension, comparison, judgement and far more understanding and love with all. So much can be gained by expressing the simple ways of our tenderness.
Beautiful to read such supportive words for men, and for women in how to support men to be their natural, tender selves. When a man is tender, loving and caring with himself it’s absolutely gorgeous to see and it also feels completely natural. Our society seems to mould men away from their awareness of how delicate and fragile they are, as if toughing out discomfort and pain and being self neglectful somehow brands you a man.
Thanks Elizabeth – we men are not at all rough and tough even though many keep on displaying this exterior. As you say just look a bit closer and you will see a very beautiful and tender man.
“Could it be possible to allow ourselves to feel that men are equally as tender as women, and that perhaps the life they are living is not truly the way they could be living?” Absolutely I know so many men who are not living the life they should be living and hiding their tenderness behind a tough exterior. When these men let go and just be and share themselves openly the beauty and exterior is felt. It is just that its not the norm for men to share and let go.
Tenderness is not a word many people would use to describe themselves but it is a quality that is there within us all. When we choose to feel our own tenderness it can inspire others to reveal and share their own natural tenderness.
I couldn’t agree more Nicole – we deserve nothing less than to live the tenderness we are and to suppress and ignore this is robbing society of a beauty like no other. You just have to look around to see what life lived without this quality has brought us.
If we’re willing to see it – the tenderness of men can be found in all men – waiting to blossom – and if a man is confirmed in this tenderness – it allows him to keep showing this. I have come to appreciate just how gorgeous men can be -their toughness only a facade to the care they can bring to the world.
We could all work together to break down the pictures we have of how men and women should be. Allowing each of us to be the person we are, without the expectations and the measuring up, would actually create something quite extraordinary in a world that is drowning in its mess.
It’s always so beautiful to read a woman share so lovingly and openly about men. I find so often we are ready to attack, blame or judge men for how they are in our world. A world we have all contributed to. If we started to appreciate men in the same way we talk about the need to appreciate ourselves, the divide would not be so great. Everyone is born a loving soul…it’s us who changes things along the way.
I love the simplicity of what you share here Nicole ‘To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent.’ So true and a great reminder for me to appreciate the beautiful men I have in my life.
The more both men and women allow each other to be their natural selves the more harmony and absolute beauty we will see and experience in our relationships and in our world.
‘To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent.’ Hear, hear Nicole, truly powerful and loving celebration of men and women. This is amazing to feel and to claim, this is indeed possible, to express it as you did is inspiring. It deeply confirms that we are all equally sensitive, gentle and tender regardless of our gender.
There is a great strength in the quality of tenderness that Nicole is describing. It allows for being sensitive, vulnerable and honest, so it reflects what a true man is and how he can live to end the superficial, competitive relationship between men and play his part in ending the sexist abuse between men and women.
I remember several different men growing up and in my teens that were very gentle men, and yet at the time I felt they were weak and didn’t really think of them as being ‘real’ men because of their sensitivity and also their consideration of me as a woman. It’s so ironic looking back because the very thing I actually wanted at the time was a man who who respect and honour me (which these men were!) and yet I rejected then because I was caught up in the consciousness of there being a certain way that men should be and act on the outside. So no surprise that the men I subsequently attracted into my life were often those who did not treat me with the precariousness that I am, and essentially because I didn’t appreciate this preciousness within myself. The more I’ve learnt to honour my own preciousness, the more I can accept and feel this same quality in men.
it is essential that we support each other, men and women, so that we can all feel that beautiful connection within and without, and with each other… Because this is the nature of the soul to have that heartfelt connection to support us in being who we truly are.
It is exquisite and magnificent to be in the presence of men and women who are not afraid to express their tenderness. ‘We all deserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included.’ I absolutely agree Nicole. When we allow ourselves to express our tenderness we are in effect inviting others to do the same. When we give ourselves permission to fully express who we are this then opens up opportunities for others to also choose the same, from our reflection we have the ability to inspire.
Women are subjected to the same conditioning about male role-models, the same advertising about beliefs, values and attitudes towards what it means to be a man. So it’s a double whammy for men and they bury their tenderness very early on. Women can support men in expressing their tenderness by appreciating it when it is seen, heard or felt. The world misses out on the true strength and power of any man who can express his innate tenderness.
There is amazing tenderness in men and I have experienced this in some of the men around me but sadly it often only comes out in moments of crisis, loving interactions with little ones or other special moments that they feel totally accepted and supported in. The world has forced upon our men a way in the world which is not true, which hides the truth. Thanks for making the call Nicole and exposing the true beauty that resides in all men whether acted on or not.
For each man that takes a step into his own true nature, and that being tenderness, it is as if it opens a pathway that makes it easier for other men to walk this Way and to feel this lovely connection.
A beautiful message to all men Nicole, and indeed to all humanity;
“To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent”.
There is no doubt that to feel the love and tenderness of a man is such a divine gift.
Thank you Nicole, what a great support this is, so lovely to get confirmed the true quality i feel within. And start to allow myself to express it more and more.
There is a lot in society that comes from both sexes that tell men that they should be tough and hard. I have come across a lot of women who have contradictory beliefs whereby they are looking to be met with tenderness and gentleness by men but at the same time are encouraging them to harden up in every other area of their lives. It’s like we are asking men to separate themselves into parts and play a role depending on the circumstances at the time. No wonder there is such a mistrust in men to be seen for who they are on the inside.
I have just spent a little time with my brother, we haven’t seen each other for a few years. At first it’s always a little funny watching the exterior that all men put up to perform to those ideals and beliefs that have been imposed. I love to watch the true natural tenderness and depth of care that radiates from men when they think people aren’t watching, how amazing will it be when they know it’s ok to let all that beauty out…
It is as you share Jaime so beautiful”to watch (and feel) the true natural tenderness and depth of care that radiates from men”. When those well oiled barriers of old heavy imposed ideals and beliefs let go of their grip what emerges is a joy to feel.
that we are inherently tender, I have been feeling for quite a long time… but what I am now understanding is that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and the tenderness and the delicacy are so deep and so profound, that as I start to allow myself to feel this, I realize that there is a whole new world this to me to experience, and of course some deeply embedded old paradigms to release.
Beautiful Nicole. I cannot but help to think after reading your blog that if all men were allowed to and even encouraged to express their innate tenderness it would not be possible for the war, aggression and likewise atrocities to abound as they are today.
The tenderness of men is truly divine and I am so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to feel the truth of every word written here. I used to find men scary and I would shut down around them, altering my behaviour in a bid to stay safe. Through the reflection of Serge Benhayon and the men inspired to live true to their own tenderness I have been able to see that tenderness is innate to all men. This gives me great appreciation for what men bring and how much pressure they face to shut down to their sweetness. The men I know that have reawakened their true nature are going from strength to strength – truly powerful and unshakeable in their tenderness. Thank you for allowing me the space to appreciate the true qualities of men Nicole.
Thank you Nicole for sharing, the tenderness in men is certainly equal to the tenderness we as women have. I have and experienced this in my husband and certainly in the Benhayon men, a beauty to behold.
I loved reading this Nicole and have really enjoyed seeing my husband find his tenderness, which like you say feels exquisite and with this also there is much more playfulness and a sense of lightness within our relationship. Thank you for the gorgeous reminder.
I have found that when I am tender with other men, they usually show their tenderness in return. However I have also noticed a pattern in myself to not show my tenderness for fear of making another man uncomfortable, this pattern is a protection I adopted long ago to avoid rejection by other men and part of the hardening that I chose.
More and more now tenderness is becoming my normal way, and I am learning that if another rejects my tenderness that is ok, it’s a work in progress. Thanks for your blog Nicole.
Thank you for sharing this Tim. It shows me just how sweet and sensitive men truly are and gives me a greater understanding of just how much pressure there is on men to remain shut down and closed off.
‘We all reserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included.’ We can only unite when both men and women live their tenderness
As men we seldom stand a chance as we all told from the start to man up, harden up and boys don’t cry etc. Only from a bunch of us living from the tenderness that we are all capable of, will we slowly see a change come about as we inspire and show people to be a true man comes from tenderness and gentleness.
feeling the true delicateness of men is something that I deeply respect and adore, but it is the surrendering to not needing to be tough, and then to feel all that we feel, which is a true strength.
It is remarkable the image we have created in society of what it means to be a man, and how deep rooted hardness is with being masculine. The pressure is immense to be tough and display this as a quality, yet the real courage is in not displaying it and showing you are tender and that this is not weak but immeasurably strong.
I agree Mary, living as men AND women connected, and living from our innate tenderness would be like coming home, safe in the knowledge that we were once again living in our wholeness, as One. Now wouldn’t that be beautiful.
Tenderness in men needs to be supported by the women around them. I have noticed that when I am hard and not self loving my husband and sons cannot be all of the gorgeous men they are and they withdraw into themselves and this is very painful for all of us and the world misses out.
I find the line ‘There is a strength within this tenderness, without any hardness’ very revealing for as men we seem to get caught in the notion that we need to be strong and so in doing so we become hard. We react to our feelings of tenderness as we feel that we are vulnerable in connection to these however there is the trick – it is, as you say, in this tenderness and vulnerability that we find true strength.
Thank you Nicole, I was deeply moved by reading your blog and your love of humanity shines through. You are correct; all men have an exquisite tenderness that we rarely show. It does not matter whether men have forgotten or just do not want to be seen to be tender, they need to be reminded of it by both men and women, they need us to give them permission to feel their own tenderness, and they need other men to show the strength in tenderness and other male qualities that have nothing to do with competition.
Beautifully said Bernard. It is up to all of us to nurture the tenderness of men and boys. If we did this on a global scale there would be no wars, no fights, no domestic violence and I am willing to bet a much lower suicide rate. Men are in crises and supporting them to connect to their tenderness should be the subject of world summits. We have become complacent and accepting of the way things are. How much more awful do things need to get before the world says enough is enough?
Within everyman is this tenderness that Nicole writes about, and as we , as men, allow ourselves to be this live this and bring it to the world, it builds a bridge that shines out of our eyes and invites other men to feel that yes it is safe to be this and live in this quality.
From the true examples of a man I have had the blessing to experience it makes how men and boys are told to be in the world stand out like a sore thumb. It’s like I can see more now underneath those rough exteriors that they work very hard in maintaining. Entertaining the rough and tough exterior only keeps that unnecessary strain ticking along. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man who cares for himself and expresses love to and for himself and all others. In fact such tenderness is awesome to see and more now I am seeing that underneath all of that is a warmth, sensitivity and a playfulness within men that is worth far more attention and focus than the unfeeling brick wall.
It’s a lovely thing to behold and experience when a man is in his tenderness. When we tell young boys to toughen up we are losing out big time as women, for down the track we are the ones who suffer abuse and many relationship problems that I feel stem from the confusion of the males who are not sure who they truly are and therefore know how they should behave.
Wow Ariana, beautifully said. A whole blog in two sentences and worth to ponder deeply on: “- is anything less than tenderness abuse?” and how this means and affects everything in my life, my relationship to myself and others. From now on this will be a new level of requirement to me. Anything less than tenderness is abuse. And my willingness to feel all “the lesses”, I have allowed through my life and therefore stored in my body to let hardness go, to come to true tenderness. Thank you Ariana.
I love re-turning to your blog, Nicole and deepen my understanding and living of what you are writing about. “Is it possible that underneath that hard, tough exterior is an amazing quality, a feeling of tenderness that is so special it needs to be nurtured, encouraged and supported by us as women so that quality can be expressed?” My experience is, that a true support for the man’s tenderness to be lived and expressed is for me as a woman to really let the man in with all of this. To receive and embrace his quality in full. The true tenderness and caring quality of a man is delicate and offers an exquisit foundation and loving width. It exposes any abuse, that I – as a women – ever have allowed to be around me. Therefore I realized, that the willingness to feel the impact that abusive energy had in my body, that automatically comes up in the presence of a man who does not hold back his tenderness, is a key to heal as a women and to become able to really support men in reverse.
Men are not expressing themselves in full if it is coming without their true tenderness and love. We all miss out when men are not given permission to express this. It should be endorsed that men can cry, men can be ‘weak’, or that men can chat about ‘womanly things’ because they too have just a sweet and tender side to their expression they in-truth deeply miss.
Before Universal Medicine it was rare to see men embrace the delicateness and tenderness that they are capable of living. These qualities are just gorgeous to feel and deeply healing to experience as the reflection they offer reminds us that we can live these qualities too.
Thank you Nicole, To use the word tender to describe a man is in itself a break through. To allow a man to be, express and live this tenderness is revelation. “To suppress and ignore this tenderness is robbing society of a true beauty, unlike any other.”
I live with three very tender men and often get reflected back to me how often I am not in my tenderness. When this happens I feel my hardness, my reactions, and all that I am not as woman. I am then gently pulled back and truly appreciate what a gift this is for me.
To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all. Let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent. Serge Benhayon is living proof that a man is absolutely just as tender as a woman and he does not hold back that tenderness or love with all. And maybe when you look at all of those romance movies and novels with the knight in shining armour rescuing the fair maiden in distress, the writer was trying to reflect the true man bringing in his naturally tender way because he could feel how the woman’s natural sacredness and love needed to be honoured and fought for.
I feel that the fear some fathers have is that if they do not toughen up their sons, they will turn out to be gay. This is nonsense of course. The idea of turning someone gay is a throwback to old ideas that we are hopefully moving away from. People are born who they are, into the lives they are born into, already who they are. Allowing men to be tender and to wear the colours they want to wear just means that men will be allowed to be who they truly are without repression and having to curb their expression. Gay or straight, this lays the foundation for many joyful, expressive men and many very joyful women.
Wow – what a gorgeous love letter to our true tenderness. If men everywhere started to embrace their true feelings, how precious that would be. To see men walk with care for themselves and others is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. And this is just the beginning of us reclaiming our true qualities of love which as you say Nicole, we have equally.
This is beautiful, Nicola. How painful it must be for a man (or a woman) to be giving up such exquisite tenderness that they are born with.
Great point here Toni about responsibility. To me, when we are being who we naturally are – which absolutely includes honouring being tender and fragile (both men and women), – this is true responsibility, and by being responsible for ourselves in this way, we reflect to others that they too have the opportunity to make the choice to be who they naturally are.
For me it is easy to see how sensitive and tender men are, it is just that often it is underneath a tough or withdrawn exterior, it is very sad to see that, and has made it difficult for me to really connect with men, only on the surface, in fact I have noticed that I am really surprised if a man is very open with his feelings as I’m not used to it. I feel it is important for me to communicate with men on a different level, and not play the game of covering up what is really there.
A very gorgeous blog Nicole and one worth sharing widely. Thank you.
‘We all deserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included. To suppress and ignore this tenderness is robbing society of a true beauty, unlike any other.’ To be in the company and presence of a person in their tenderness is deeply healing. All of the hardness and protection slips away and the feeling of connection to another is exquisite.
Men are equally tender and sensitive as women. If we just stop to feel and allow a man to show his sensitivity, he will then show his tenderness as he drops his barriers and let’s go of the hardness and control. Over the last few years as I have allowed myself to show my sensitivity my husband has also shown his sensitivity. This openness has allowed us both to connect to our tenderness and let go of the control and hardness that used to drive us. It is beautiful to see the tenderness in my husband.
I agree Nicole that ‘To suppress and ignore this tenderness is robbing society of a true beauty.’ When we are not all fully permitted to be the gentle tender beings that we truly are, all of us miss out. So heart warming to read the comments on this blog and see that there is much input from our amazing tender men.
“There is a strength within this tenderness, without any hardness.” These are beautiful words, and it’s wonderful that more men are feeling able to celebrate how glorious they truly are.
Beautifully said Nicole. Except for perhaps my own, there is nothing I appreciate more than a mans tenderness and strength in that. For without it I am without the inspiration to also go to the depth of my own delicateness as a woman.
Watching the tenderness of a young girl and a young boy when they are interacting and there is no difference. Watch the parenting of the young girl and the young boy and you see a complete contrast. Why do we not meet each child, regardless of gender, with equal gentleness? Why do we stop our young children from crying, particularly boys? Tenderness is a beautiful quality to feel in anyone, particularly a gentle-man.
As a child I was always told to harden up or that I was too sensitive, so when that is coming at you from all directions its hard to stay connected to that tenderness that we all have. Traditionally it was man who had to go to war and there is not much room for tenderness on the battle field but a lot of us don’t have that threat anymore, so it is only down to our own inner battles that keep us away from the tender beings we are meant to be.
There is something very special about a truly tender man. The love that they can share can melt any barriers or hardness we may hold. But if we ignore that they are sensitive and at the same time ignore our own equal sensitivity we don’t get to experience that tenderness. In that denial of the fact that men and women are sensitive we miss out on so much. By honouring such amazing things can happen.
A really great challenge in a society riddled with he-man images and lifestyle ideals for men that infer a weakness rather than a personal choice if not being followed. I do sometimes get a glimpse of the natural fragility in men, a window into their true essence, but it can be short-lived, as if they quickly begin to feel out of their depth, in unfamiliar territory, unprotected and exposed. A real shame as it’s lovely to make a connection with a man in that quality, no matter how briefly.
Tenderness is part of our true nature and is sorely lacking in this world. Great blog Nicole calling our attention to this precious part of ourselves, men and women alike. It is great to celebrate it every time we see and feel this most natural expression of the love that we all are.
Yet another great article. I love reading your articles Nicole Serafin as they are so easy to read with great messages/truth for us all. I too have experienced men’s tenderness and gentleness. When men are like this it feels like they are totally open and approachable. It is much easier to have a conversation with them as there is not that tough rough exterior of protection that is usually presented. Men and women are equally amazing in that we all have the same beautiful qualities waiting to be ignited.
When we do begin to consider and appreciate that there IS much more to men that we as a society allow them to be, we will begin to feel that the true power of men is who they are in essence. When a man expresses from the tenderness that he knows he is it feels so deeply loving and there is a strength that is so inspiring. I can feel that I am met and honored in truth and love and this allows me the space to feel all that I am. And with this we invite a deeper honoring and connection in all our relationships to unfold.
You ask a great question Nicole,” Why do we as a society support and allow men to be all that they are not when they are truly beauty-full.” It is beautiful to see men expressing their natural love and tenderness. It’s such a powerful expression.
A tender man, is a true man, for in truth regardless of the nature of his upbringing, environment, work place or physicality – all men have immense innate gentle beauty and tender qualities.
Beautiful Oliver. This is so true and it is lovely to have a man express in this manner about the true beauty of men.
Men in their tenderness are really powerful, and most of them don’t even know it. They are caught up in the hard exterior, putting up a front. It is so important to encourage them to connect to their natural tenderness. As they connect to this natural being, they share such beautiful strength, becoming more nurturing and supportive in a very loving way. The powerful-ness behind tenderness is underestimated.
Yes I very much appreciate and cherish this quality of tenderness in a man. I feel safe and am able to be open as a woman in his presence. When he is true, it welcomes me to be too.
Strength and tenderness is very much like power and innocence….qualities that you don’t often see together, but as we let go of the shields that we have accumulated over our lives to try and protect ourselves from the hurts we have not healed, then these qualities can shine through together, and they are amazing to feel.
When we really get to know a man we find the tender young boy is still there underneath all the protective toughness. As a woman I love to feel this manly tenderness as it invites me to connect to a deep tenderness within myself. Physical strength is no barrier to tenderness.
I love what you have written here Mary, it really is so special to feel the tenderness of a man and know that, that is his natural expression, not all of the macho bravado which is often chosen instead.
If we got to the real reason that a lot of men have the need to be superior, have more, or have different religious ideologies and go to war against each other, we as men would not have to be so protected and brought up in a toughened way in order to cope with conflict if it should arise. It was considered a dad’s duty to toughen up and remove all tenderness from his boys so they could cope with what life has to throw at them. As we know now there is no weakness in tenderness.
‘Why do we as a society support and allow men to be all that they are not when they are truly beauty-full?’
Why indeed.
I am blessed to have many tender, open men in my life, and for those that haven’t yet chosen, I commit to reflecting my innate being in all my delicate, glorious self, allowing a different choice.
To feel the tenderness of a man is exquisite, and also remembered as if soft, though very definite footprints in freshly laid snow: the way that the eyes hold (you) with such depth, their hands gracefully gently pass something to you communicating respect, a handshake or embrace that messages honour to be in your great presence… because they are in theirs too, the way their deep voice resonates to behold with the roundness of inclusivity, how they walk past leaving behind nothing except a trail of scented steadiness that you remember and connect to. To experience the divinity of a man’s tender beauty is always and forever treasured.
I am blessed to share our home on occasions with several tender men, this has been the most beautiful experience to be in their presence and to share with true openness. Melts my heart and our connections have been significant markers in feeling a true man but equally feeling from there tenderness the reflection of the sacredness I am.
Just beautiful Nicole – thank you. When a man expresses from his tenderness it is truly magnificent. It is a graceful strength that melts me time and time again. And the exquisiteness of our tenderness is a quality that we all need to feel, honor, live and celebrate with each other equally more. After all it is our natural way of being and there is no denying the joy that we feel when this quality is honored.
Yea I agree, there is an exquisiteness to a mans tenderness like no other.
“To suppress and ignore this tenderness is robbing society of a true beauty, unlike any other” this just sums up the whole blog for me. Thank you Nicole
Hello Nicole, thank you for the blog. It is certainly an interesting conversation to start and have. Why aren’t the young sensitive boys we have in the world growing up to be older sensitive men? What program are we putting them on that pushing or moulds them into being something they weren’t? The ‘school of hard knocks’ perhaps.
So we are saying ‘tenderness’ is a way of being, a way of being that men naturally are. So if men actually go and speak about how they are feeling, as honestly as they can, then this is a gateway to ‘that’ tenderness. I have certainly found a strength in simply doing my best to speak about what I am feeling. I don’t mean putting on a front and speaking about something superficial. I mean genuinely speaking about how things feel when they are said to you or when you say them. Looking at the way I work and the way I am with the children and speaking about things that are ‘coming’ up around these. It may be a jump for some men to relate directly to being ‘tender’ but it is just being willing to speak about the feelings that are actually there for us. Yes women can support that but men need to start to speak as well. It is natural for men to feel things, we have a very natural deep sensitivity. It’s not a weakness but for me a definite strength and much around me has truly changed because I have committed to saying what I feel in any moment, being tender. Thank you again Nicole.
So true what you have shared Ray. I work with a lot of older men and can very clearly see how absolutely tender and sensitive they are and how gorgeous this is, but they would not see that in themselves. I can feel from what you have shared how supportive it can be to just gently encourage them to share how they feel and what’s going on for them. That gives them the opportunity for them to see their own sensitivity and realise that it’s not a weakness.
What a beautiful blog that celebrates the true tenderness and beauty of men. How blessed we are to be inspired by Serge Benhayon who has shown that it is possible for not only women but men to reconnect to their tenderness by living from the fullness of their heart.
I know as a man expressing my true tenderness is innately the most natural and amazing way to live.
So true Joshua. From childhood on I felt deep within that all this playing rough, rivaling and competing that men are expected to live in our modern society was simply not me. In gentleness and love there is so much more power than in this mock up roughness, because gentleness and love bring out what we truly are and this is a strength that nothing can compete with nor does it need or ask for any comparison at all. Strength in stillness.
It is exquisite to express true tenderness as a man. With no fear of rejection and the the knowing that the quality that we are expressing in, is truly tender and has a warmth and radiance from our heart. That is truly powerful. Its very different from being soft. Expressing tenderness is knowing that the quality of what you are is radiating out and being felt by others.
I do fully agree with what you share Harrison, thank you for describing it so clearly.
Reading your blog Nicole brought up sadness in me – the way men have felt they need to be to fit into society, to be accepted. It is lovely to feel reading the comments that men want it to be different. It’s great men now have the inspiration many men, including Serge, Curtis and Michael Benhayon to show them to be gentle is not saying you are weak or powerless. Thank you for sharing your experience of men being in their tenderness.
The game is up so to speak, men are very tender and we feel everything, and are experts at not showing that to others.
Reading your blog I started to feel very exposed and raw, feeling how it would be to allow others to see my exquisite gentle tender self all of the time. Thank you Nicole for sharing how men really are, underneath all our protection and hurts, there is a tender, powerful glory.
I agree Nicole, I have experienced a mans true tenderness and it is for sure how men should be allowed, nurtured and supported to be in society.
Yes Toni I have felt this tenderness working with young adolescent boys and the support they provide their peers is phenomenal when they are allowed to just be. There is not an air of comparison or the need to take the lead BUT a humbleness that shows everyone the quality in which others can engage in.
What a glorious blog Nichole. It is beautiful to be able to feel the tenderness in men and by so doing we offer them an opportunity to touch this place in themselves. For so long the world has only offered men the image of being ‘tough and manly’ and Serge Benhayon has changed all this by allowing us to see and feel the power and love of a man who is tender.
You only have to look at a baby boy, the absolute tenderness is the same as in baby girls. They don’t hold back this beautiful quality. You can see it in every man it is there. I completely agree Nicole it is exquisite to feel when men express their true tenderness. There is such a strenght in being tender for men and women.
Yes Annelies, when I look at my grandson who is 5, he is the gentlest most tender little person ever.
This is exactly what we men need, Nicole. Being encouraged to express our tenderness equally. And we are encouraged by every person that does express so. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Doug and Michael and Martin and… Thank God there are so many people coming to my mind who live and express like that!
Anyone who has seen a dad with his young daughter will know the tenderness that is in men. It seems like men have given up on being able to show tenderness and women have stopped looking for it. The more I notice it, the more I can see it in all men, as I meet people at work or pass them on the escalator. And if we notice it, they feel it and maybe feel that it is ok to show their tenderness in public.
I love seeing men with their children, There is such an honesty there in how they are with them. This shows that it is never lost and always within and it’s a matter of re-connecting to this not just when they are with children.
That’s lovely Mary, what an honour to be sitting next to a man like that and great that you recognised these qualities in him, as of course, these will be in you too, feeling safe together….
It almost feels to me that the men in this world are waiting for permission from women to allow them to be their true selves and come out from behind their hard exterior and breath and sigh of relief. And what a glorious world it WILL be when men and women are both living as their true selves. It is time that we, as women, connect and live from our essence which is tender, gentle and graceful, so we can offer that same reflection to all those around us, including men, allowing them to feel those same innate qualities.
Men are busting at the seems to really let their tenderness out, you can see it in so many, society has become so matesy that there seems to be no room for these men. I know now when I am offered help from a man I accept the help, where I would never dreamed of letting this happen a few years ago…
Thank you Nicole. It is great to see that men can show and live their tenderness and not be considered ‘sissies’. There is support for them to unravel the hardness that has built up in their bodies since childhood and they have such a great role model in Serge Benhayon!
Love what you have both expressed here Monica & Rachel…recently I was watching two men hug each other, but what was so beautiful to witness in their expression was how tender they were with each other. You often see men give hugs of toughness that are quick and patting on the back style. But to feel two men embrace each other gently without any sexual confusion, but just openly expressing their tenderness was so healing and so refreshing – more of this in the world please.
Since meeting Serge Benhayon I have very much appreciated the many beautiful qualities that a man in his fullness feels like…and as a woman feeling the expression of tenderness from men is exquisite and so attractive.
Thank you Nicole for sharing theses beautiful words, for a man to feel himself as tender and to live in tenderness is the gateway to true intimacy.
Nicole what you say here is very true. “To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt – for you are totally magnificent”. What an amazing experience to feel the tenderness of a man.
Yes I agree Toni – for me the main thing is not to use the images and ideals of who men are supposed to be!!!! We as mothers are asked to do so because it is us who can start doing so immediately.
Thank you Nicole. Knowing just how sweet and tender men are at the core makes so many things seem absolutely unbelievable. We are living in a society where men go to war, rape, assault and abuse. It is absolute madness and anything but normal. The more I connect to the inherently sweet and loving nature of all men the more I see how abhorrent it is that we condition them to shut down.
With reading your article Nicole, I’m inspired to start at the point of knowing that all men are innately tender. Knowing this I can hold the tenderness they truly are and not let other behaviours cloud my awareness and the truth of their tenderness.
I totally agree with what you have expressed Toni. Not only are the men, and young boys missing out on sharing their truly beautiful tenderness but we as a community are too. Its such a wonderful thing to see a man or young boy share their innate tenderness and strength without feeling of hesitation or judgement. Simply magical.
Well, said Nicole. I was just pondering while reading your blog that boys are raised to be strong, tough, hard – ‘a man’ – but then later in relationships some women find it hard to talk with their male partner because they are so not into talking about feelings and being tender with each other, because that is not what society is telling men are like. It is like if we would start raising boys to stay in their natural tenderness that is so there when they are young this whole issue would not be there!
I agree Lieke. If we start raising our sons to stay with their natural tenderness then we allow them to grow up to be men able to express this tenderness.
Tenderness is an amazing quality we all innately have, why is it seen as weak for men, why the hardening. To be around men who live their tenderness is beautiful and a great inspiration to be with. For boys at school the pressure of the peer group is huge and having a reflection of men living their tenderness is so needed so they can feel this is what a real man is, having the power of being tender.
To all the men out there please let your tenderness shine, the world is in such need of your amazingness.
Having spent the day on the bustling streets of Hoi An, I experienced an example of many men going about their days in this quality of tenderness : buzzing about on scooters or bicycles, or up and down the river in their boats they moved amongst one another without an ounce of aggression or competition, their bodies unhardened by these tensions that men in the western world typically endure.
If we all allowed ourselves to live with our innate tenderness the planet would breathe a sigh of relief as the aggression and tensions of the world would melt away.
At a time in my life I too believed that to be tender was about being soft or not a man, maybe a bit girlie but I have now come to feel that tenderness has always been there and I have lived in such a way as to keep that tenderness shut down and hidden from the world and myself. These days, as I allow this tenderness to be exposed a little more every day, I can feel the true power in being a man in the fullness of my tenderness.
Yes it’s the opposite of what we may have thought Mick…women actually find tenderness in a man very attractive and powerful. The macho bravado is so unappealing and so not who men truly are.
More TENDERNESS – for Tenderness is deeply needed to be brought to the table and openly discusssed. Such a very important topic – seeing the transition of the men I know that have decided that they can be tender is absolutely beautiful to watch, connect and be with. More TENDERNESS for all …
Beautiful Nicole, I agree the world is not where it can be without men allowing themselves to be the tender, sensitive and delicate human beings they are. I see it in young men growing up: a huge struggle to not let their tenderness be seen and felt anymore to belong to ‘the group’. We need (more) living examples of men living how powerful it is to be tender.
Seeing and supporting this tenderness in men is so important, and a key part of Men’s health I feel. Depression, suicide and heart disease are huge issues for men in particular. Addressing that they do feel, and it is ok to show what they feel is so important in opening up a true conversation and starting to heal.
I had the experience of expressing tenderness with some young children today and there was a moment with one girl in particular who shared some news, it was beautiful to see her reaction to me being gentle and tender with her and I could feel the joy in that connection. It makes me consider how important it is that I don’t give in to the messages that are given that men are to be tough and hard. Where is the joy in that?
So true Stephen – men are robbed of so much joy by feeling they need to be hard or tough. Women do this too, but it is definitely more ingrained in our society for men.
I find your blog very beautiful, I am very greatful that I have got the support and inspiration from Serge, Michael and Curtis Benhayon. To live with this tenderness everyday, not always but it’s a great foundation to come back to.
To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt, for you are all truly magnificent. I read this Nicola and felt you were expressing this for all women as we all get the blessing when men express their innate tenderness.
If all men of the world showed their true tenderness, we would live in a world of love and harmony. Peace would reign across all nations.
‘To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent.’
Thank you for expressing this and supporting me in acknowledging this tenderness when I see it and feel it
A man expressing from his tenderness feels exquisite, as it likewise feels for ourselves to express with that same tenderness. Tenderness feels like it melts me…bring it back to humanity and our world I say, how different that would feel.
Yes this is true Rebecca. We also rob ourselves as women when we suppress and ignore our own tenderness and as a result everyone looses out. We don’t get shown when young that’s its normal for us to be this way and to honour this part of ourselves. It is from being tender that we get to develop energetic awareness and can develop a tremendous amount of understanding of what is happening around us. Being tender is a gift we can give ourselves everyday and rather than being weak it provides a strength and power. It’s like our spinach to Popeye. It’s sad that we are told to toughen up from very little because that’s how the world is. What if the world allowed us to be the tender and sensitive beings we really are, we would operate very differently in the world of work and in domestic life?
To toughen up is a substitute for when we have lost our awareness of our power. We then use force on ourselves and others. Even extreme force is far less powerful than expressed, loving power itself.
“To suppress and ignore this tenderness is robbing society of a true beauty, unlike any other.” So true Nicole. We all rob society of true beauty when we choose anything less than our own true tenderness. And we also rob ourselves of this.
Nicole. Have read your blog again, it not only shows me the quality of being tender, but also caring, not only for me, but for my wife, family and friends.
Awesome blog Nicole – it is super important to address this, allowing men to be truly tender and what this would mean for society, and you have started the conversation beautifully
Nicole it was really enjoyable to read your blog. Just reading or saying the word tenderness of people helps my whole body to relax and let go. Looking back I can see no-one said don’t be tender with words but instead there were many times where I was asked to do things or be a certain way that was not tender and so it was only a matter of time before being tender didn’t fit into the person I thought I needed to be. It’s great to start to re-connect to tenderness.
It is such a joy hearing you as a man see the pressure that has been put on you to toughen up, decide to not play ball with it and to claim back your tenderness. It is both a joy because of the freedom that I can feel this brings men, and also because of the pure glorious gift men offer all of us by being the men they truly are.
This is so true Nicole, “Why should women be the only ones allowed to express, to be gentle and to nurture, while men are supposed to be hard, tough, the one who is always the rock?” Knowing just how tender men naturally are and how beautifully sensitive baby boys and toddlers are it doesn’t make sense that we curb and cut their expression from the word go! Boys are not given a chance to remain sensitive and tender as they are labeled a “wuss” by their peer group, so to be accepted the majority conform and those that don’t feel that there is something wrong with them. You are right Monica when you say, “We crave the natural tenderness that men innately are – we know it and it’s time we actively support and confirm it.”
I have observed that in a mixed class of 6 year olds that many of the boys are as, and sometimes more, tender, gentle and sensitive than the girls. So, learning to be ‘tough’ and ‘manly’ is something they subscribe to in order to fit in with, or for recognition from their role models. When a man allows himself to show his tenderness he is offering children a precious gift.
Nicole. Men can be very tender, and show their gentleness. But some are very reticent to show that side of themselves.
I have met many men who think it is not manly to show their true nature. When one asks why, invariably they cannot answer, that question. I have said to them, if you show your wife, girlfriend your real side, just watch your relationship blossom so much more.
Universal Medicine has really help me to be more tender, and loving with my wife and myself.
Tenderness, in men and women, is something missing in much of the world recently. True tenderness is something we all yearn for but often only share our tenderness with a very young baby. By choosing to be more tender with myself I can feel the tenderness in others.
Thank you Nicole for writing about something we so rarely talk about in society, men connecting to their tenderness and gentleness. It is naturally there in young boys but can so often be crushed, or pushed aside with the demands that are put on them as they grow up. It is such a joy to be in the company of men who are not afraid to show their gentleness and it is something I am learning to appreciate more each day.
“We all deserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included.” This is an equality that no one seems to be fighting for but which I see as one of the most fundamental in bring real change to the world. When we all express with the natural tenderness our body knew as a baby and child the quality of our relationships – and therefore the quality of our households, societies and beyond, would be very different and feel so much more loving.
I feel blessed to have experienced how gentle and tender a man can be and it definitely is not gender based or weak.
Most definitely agree with you Julie, it is divine.
Tenderness in a man is very powerful. There is nothing soft or weak in a man when he speaks or acts with tenderness.
Especially when a man is tender for the first time in a long time, he is very vulnerable and hence courageous.
Thanks Nicole, a truly wonderful article. Tenderness and gentleness is far more our natural state of being, it feels a bit odd at first but the more we allow it the more natural it becomes. The more we can live it, the more it will inspire other men to be it and who know where that might lead. To a world of less pain and violence?
It’s funny how these things do feel a bit odd at first, we have disconnected to that natural essence we all share. But as you share once you reawaken the embers the fire will soon light up and it will become your every way.
I agree Kevin. The more we live with tenderness the more it will inspire others. Every man, woman and child in the world today deserves to find their natural tenderness to share with others. Then there would be less pain and violence in the the world.
To all the men in the world – you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent.
This is such a confirmation for all the men of the world. It’s a joy to read, and I know every time a man is honoured and confirmed in what he is feeling, he brings more of that to himself and everyone around him.
Beautifully said Jenny
Such beautiful comments. Thank you everyone. It is so true how men are raised to be strong and tough, when they are not truly that at all when in their true essence. I observe young boys and watch how they are encouraged to not cry, suck it up basically, it is quite sad how as a society we have allowed this separation and behaviour to continue. We now have such amazing role models, as seen and felt in these comments, who can lead the way and reflect to all men, young and old, that we are naturally tender, gentle and loving. How blessed are we all to have these men in our lives and as role models for our children and partners.
Yes we are blessed to have men in our lives who are tender and loving, they feel gorgeous.
Many women these days are also raised to be ‘strong and tough’, and encouraged not to cry, I know this was my reality. I have been re-learning to stay being vulnerable, tender and loving, this feels like coming back to living.
One of the crazy things about this too Nicole is that when young boys are taught to ‘harden up’ it is done to protect them from the outer very harsh world, knowing that young boys are naturally super sensitive and tender. Not realising that this actually creates more harm for them and more harm for everyone, because they are not getting to know, develop and enjoy how magnificent is for everyone all round when we live exactly who we are, without question.
Thank you Nicole – I agree with the sentence here, “We all deserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included.”
Definately Mike, tenderness is not gender specific it is part of our natural expression.
Here, here, Nicole.
Thank you Nicole for your deep appreciation of the truth of men. It is a blessing for me this morning to read your words and for that part of me to be heard, waved at, celebrated and welcomed to the party.
That’s what is so amazing, every time a man is truly heard and felt it confirms him further. Who doesn’t want to carry on a path where they feel amazing with each step? To know that for yourself and for others to feel and acknowledge it too is a blessing for us all.
A party of truly gentle-men is my kind of party…I have found recently that I can “feel” gentle and it is glorious, all throughout my bones. But often the sticking point is allowing that gentleness to take a strong hold, as when it does it exposes me as vulnerable, as in I actually feel. It can be so instant, and tangible that it can sometimes make my skin crawl…I have shied away from this in the past in case I got hurt or seen…. But I have been asking myself why come to the party without all of me? The constant love, support and inspiration I have felt from attending Universal Medicine presentations, has encouraged me to keep bringing more of me to everything.
Thank you, Phil, for sharing your tenderness and vulnerability with us. It is beautiful that you have remained connected to that part of yourself, even if it is challenging at times to express it in the world. Please keep bringing those qualities out for us all to be blessed by.
Yes it’s beautiful when men (or women) realise that they can be tender and strong and powerful all at the same time…it doesn’t have to be an either/or like we have been led to believe.
Tenderness IS power expressed.
Thank you Nicole, I have felt this tenderness in men and it is truly beautiful. My partner is very tender and it is so lovely and feels so natural and ‘normal’ when he and my little boy cuddle and play in their natural gentleness and tenderness.
So true Jo. We have a son and he is super gentle, tender and loving, and yes, blonde hair big blue eyes and loves to dress in our daughters bright coloured clothes and shoes, He also loves cars and trucks.
Being a boy differs in some ways but his essence is that of the same as that which woman also has.
Beaitiful
Nicole, My baby brother had gorgeous gold hair which my parents didn’t cut for the first 3 years of his life. People would treat him so tenderly and say sweetly “oh what a precious little girl”…until we corrected them and then they would often react by doing something very “tough” toward him like pretending to punch him and saying “oh, a tough little guy!” This and the fact that “boy” clothes have to be drab, muddy or dark…when, in my experience, when offered a choice the boy would choose the rich beautiful colors as often as any girl (until they learn what you want them to want!) is very telling of our entrenched mindset which is oppressive to the true nature of our boys and men.
Wow that really shows the extreme attitudes we have towards young girls and boys, and I agree that roughness is the total opposite of a young boys sweet tender nature.
Thank you Nicole – for blessing me and every man with your words. As you said: “We all deserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are”. Even though soo much in the world tells us otherwise, when we are little boys, we cannot hide our tenderness, then we forcibly hide it, to fit in and be accepted. I too have been inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to return back to living a more natural tender way with myself and others, now not being afraid to show it, or seeing it as a weakness, rather as a strength.
Beautiful James as are you. I have observed you blossom into the amazing tender, gentle caring man that you are today, a true reflection and inspiration for all.
Beautifully expressed, and so true. Thank you
So sweet and purposefully put, thank you, Nicole. The more I allow myself to accept the tenderness of men the more they shine. The more they shine the more we are all served and our hardness melts away.
So true Matilda. We have workmen building at our home and to observe them soften since starting here is absolutely beautiful. Simply by allowing them to be, feel met their true tenderness blossoms.
Thanks Ariana. That is a great one to consider. Is anything less than tenderness abuse? Just as is anything less than love abuse. It is awesome that more and more men are embracing their tenderness and are also expressing it in public and amongst other men. Yes the tide started with Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon, and now many many other men have been embracing their tenderness. It is glorious.
So true Golnaz, for me “the tide started with Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon.” They as well as many other men are such an amazing inspiration and support for me and many other men with showing that there is another way to that which society has, and still does, present. Personally I have found a huge liberation by connecting to my innate tenderness and fragility. I now no longer feel the need to protect and defend myself as I did and all my relationships, from shop keepers to close friends, are more open and meaningful. It is a work in progress but I already feel stronger in myself, less tense and more relaxed.
I agree Golnaz, like most of my peers tenderness was only something talked about if we were cooking steak, but now, with Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon being true examples of what tenderness in men can really be, I can see and feel the tenderness in me and also in other men I meet.
As you say Nicole there is nothing as beautiful as a man expressing from his tenderness. It is a shame that we have diluted this expression over the growing years and that we hold men and women in different spheres of expression. We are all equally precious and full of the love and tenderness that we all deserve, and again as you say, it is great that we have role models like Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon working tirelessly to show us all that it is more than ok to express from these heartfelt places.
Well said Jenny. A man expressing from his tenderness is beautiful. I also feel that when a man expresses his tenderness this inspires women, of all ages, to choose to feel their own tenderness. Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon are amazing role models of men expressing their tenderness and when I am with them I can feel my own tenderness.
The comments listed here are truly beautiful and inspiring. We have all felt a man’s true tenderness at some time in our lives, and it is this inner beauty that inspires us to nurture men in a way that is truly supportive and honouring of them in the true tenderness they are.
Beautifully said Nicole. Allowing and expressing tenderness has been a beautiful learning and unfolding for me. I had always resisted it and now being open to it I feel the loving support this offers on both sides.
True Anna, it is truly exquisite.
Nicole I agree, there is nothing more beautiful then a man expressing his true depth of tenderness and equal to the preciousness of a woman – together – exquisite!
A beautiful sharing Nicole. In tenderness there is great strength and so beautiful to feel in another.
Beautifully expressed Nicole.
True Toni, when men express their tenderness it is truly beautiful.
I agree Nicole. What I am finding is just how deep my protection is from the past when I was tender and people told me in many different ways to harden up.
I have noticed in society and many cultures that men are assumed to be ‘tougher’ than women.
Thank you Nicole. Your article is very supportive and encouraging for men to not be afraid to be tender. For that is why we are not tender. It is a fear of being seen to be weak and it is everywhere, the pressure on boys and men to act tough even though that is not who they are, they are gentle and loving.
So true. A man sharing his tenderness and love is beautiful.
So true Stephen there is such a belief that is instilled in boys from a young age to be tough and strong that they loose their natural tenderness and gentleness. To me there is nothing more refreshing and enjoyable to be in the company of men that honour this and are not afraid to show it.
Being tender for a man is a very big deal. First of all to accept the very idea of being tender is not so easy for me. I can express it but I am not sure what would happen if somebody would say to me “Oh, you are so tender today”, whether I would feel pleased, embarrassed or able to simply acknowledge the fact.
If someone would say that I would probably blush a bit but it would nonetheless be a great thing.
Love your honest & beautiful sharing. Tenderness is soo beautiful to feel from another, esp. men – there’s real strength in it, real softness in a grand manner. Society seems to portray boys & men to the opposite – hard & tough from a very young age. As a baby we are naturally tender & open, & in return we receive that. What if we continued loving like that & allowing young boys (& girls) to keep expressing from that truly loving place to be seen (& not hide!). There is another way of being & that way is so beautiful.
Reading your comment, Pinky, brings up the picture in me of the momentarily requirement to a beauty-ideal for men to be extremely muscular. But most men do not build up muscles from the work they do. So men – from a very young age on, hardened by that demand, build with extreme hardness against themselves, hard muscles that carry and therefore communicate hardness. It seems to be a great defend on the origin abusive demand on them to hide their tenderness. A visible and palpable energy, that brings women in turn to maybe a superficial adoration of a muscular men, but I am sure on a deeper level just to another protection manner, because they feel the hardness and abuse in it, wanting to avoid to be abused. So they shut down on a subtle level what again feeds the circle of staying in hardness for both, women and men. So great to break this circle and socially so deeply ingrained behaviour through becoming as tender, as we are, men and women.
Thank you Nicole. It touched me deeply what you wrote.
The same for me. Thank you, Nicole.
Thank you Nicole.
Another bottler Nicole Serafin! Your sensitive reflections are a true service to us all and call us to feel more deeply into the extraordinary of the ordinary everyday. This post is no exception. Thank you.