This is the story of my Bulimia which started back 21 years ago – after the time when I could still recall the freedom and joy I felt being in my own body as a very young child; still recall the way I was running, jumping and just playing. It was after the time when I remembered wearing clothes I really liked and the feeling of the texture on my skin.
It was after the time when there was an ease and playfulness, an acceptance, as I expected nothing from my body, which at the time felt lovely and open and where there were no thoughts of “you’re not up to scratch”.
For whatever reason, this started to change and this is where the story of my bulimia began…
Not Being Good Enough
Very early in life the thoughts of ‘not being good enough’ started coming in, becoming more frequent and intense from the age of nine. I experienced learning difficulties with Math at school, which I found a constant struggle: these were accompanied by emotional issues and the persistent thoughts of ‘not being good enough’ continued into my teenage years.
By the end of High School my boyfriend, with whom I had been in a committed relationship for 2 years, broke up with me before leaving for University. I could feel how he was freeing himself up to check out what else was ‘out there’. I was devastated as I had always felt this was the man I would be with forever, and the thoughts of not being good enough again came to the fore.
Not long after he left I remember driving to work one day and a thought came into my head – “Right, instead of feeling hurt and rejected this is your goal: go make yourself, no matter what it takes, into the best woman, daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend material, granddaughter, niece, employee…” the list went on. “And while you’re at it, focus on getting into the Police Academy”.
I remember breathing a sigh of relief and saying “Right, let’s get to it, something to focus my energy on”. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was really creating my very own self-imposed reinforced fortress.
Mastering How ‘to do’ Bulimia……
Without ever remembering seeing anything on how ‘to do’ bulimia, or knowing anyone who was bulimic or who had any kind of eating disorder that I was aware of, somehow all the information was there for me in my thoughts – go here, buy this and do it this way.
Purging by regurgitating was unsuccessful for me from the start, leading to feelings of failure, so I turned to laxatives. At the time I didn’t realise my body had always suffered from dairy and gluten intolerance and had no need to ever take a laxative, but this I decided was the easiest and most definite way to rid myself of food and achieve my goal of being the best I could be.
Food was constantly on my mind; it did not matter if I was out with friends or playing sport, the thought of food and when to eat would be there always. I would go to a different chemist or grocery store each time to buy more laxatives so as to not be found out. This was my big secret. I would hide food to eat later. I felt completely in control of this aspect of my life. Because my family was so used to my having irritable bowel, no one ever suspected anything.
From the outside it looked like I had it all together. I worked a 10-12 hour day, starting and finishing with hours of relentless exercise; taking aerobics classes and pumping iron at the gym, playing all kinds of competitive sport and then after all this, running kilometres a day. I could keep going like this for 17 hours a day, never showing how exhausted I really was. On the inside I felt scared, hurt and lonely.
Unfortunately at my workplace there was one toilet, not outside away from everyone, but right in the middle of where everyone worked. I would be in excruciating pain after taking up to 30 laxatives at a time, popping even more after each visit to the toilet, all the time holding on for as long as I could so that the other employees didn’t suspect anything.
The drive to purge myself of food and to be successful in every facet of my life far outweighed the pain.
If a workmate made a comment like “Gee, you go to your bag a lot”, I would just say I was getting chewing gum to hide the fact that I was actually grabbing whatever laxative relief I had.
This behaviour continued for a year as I learned to master how to do bulimia by pretending I had eaten on my way home from sport so that my family wouldn’t expect me to eat dinner. I would sometimes buy takeaway and hide it so that if I did feel hungry during the night, I could control how much I ate or didn’t eat, and could do it in secret without anyone watching. I didn’t like eating home cooked meals as I then felt guilty if I purged afterwards because it was ‘real’ food compared to what I would buy for myself.
I didn’t gorge myself on ice cream, junk food, chocolates or lollies, but I mainly ate what I perceived to be more ‘healthier’ options at the time, like packet noodles, rice crackers and sultanas.
As my obsession with bulimia intensified, my family started to get suspicious. With the lack of food being absorbed by my system I was getting little nutrition and I was becoming very vague and irresponsible, particularly when driving. I would drive really fast, preoccupied with my obsessions with food and what I needed to do to be successful that day.
As a result, one day I pulled out in front of a car and we had a collision at the end of my street. This gave me a fright and I felt bad that I had caused injury to the other woman and damaged her car, but it really didn’t bring me to a stop.
Not long after this accident, my obsessive way of living in order to cover up my bulimic behaviour finally got exposed. I was taken twice to a counsellor for bulimia – which did not help at all, as all the focus was on my family’s feelings and not truly about what was going on for me. There was no criticism or judgment, as my family was genuinely concerned and did their best to support me, but they struggled to understand (as did I) how I could do what I was doing to myself.
So as to relieve my family of the worry, I swept my problems under the carpet and for a short time stopped my obsessive behaviour with bulimia and over-exercising.
Self-worth Issues and the Return of my Bulimia
In time, as my self-worth issues had never been addressed, the bulimia returned and to my great relief this time I found myself able to purge by making myself vomit, which meant that I could cut down on the laxatives and could bring the food up before it even had the chance to be digested. This became a highly sophisticated and organised process as there were so many things to take into account. I would organise the toilet or shower like you would set out your dressing table to paint your nails. I would take into consideration how quiet I would need to be in the process of throwing up in relation to who was around and how much in proximity they were.
I was never truly present with anyone as I was continually obsessed with my bulimia and what I would eat and when and where I would be able to throw it all up again.
I felt like a big fake and was so ashamed of what I was doing, and how much food and money I was wasting. But still I could not see any way of stopping – I honestly thought this would be my life forever.
This continued off and on for six or seven years. There were times when I would go for months without feeling this way but then something would happen, something that I did not want to feel or talk about and I would go back to the perceived relief of purging – something that was just mine that I could do to myself, no-one else could. Looking back I can see that my bulimia, and so much of what I felt, related to the self-worth issues that I continued to ignore.
The behaviours and symptoms of my bulimia eating disorder at the time were:
- Withdrawal from close friends, family and intimate gatherings
- Overdoing and pushing myself in all areas of life including exercise, sport, work and study
- Long bouts of time spent alone in my room, bathroom, toilet or outside away from others
- Avoidance of family mealtimes
- Drinking copious amounts of water in order to fill myself up and to help with bringing up the food
- The frequent consumption of laxatives, mints or chewing gum
- The shedding of weight, red eyes and flushed face.
Over the years (during which time I got married and had two sons), those intense feelings that drove me to my bulimia eased and changed to a so called ‘milder’ version of not feeling good enough as a wife and mother, along with the juggling of everything that goes with work and family life.
However, even though I had an adoring and devoted husband who has always been there for me, I kept pushing him away as I could not love myself – and as such, although some of my behaviour was less intense, my self-worth issues regardless were never far from the surface.
Universal Medicine – The Turning Point in My Life With Bulimia
Over the years I had looked into many different healing modalities such as Kinesiology, Reiki, tarot card reading, psychics and Aura-Soma colour healing, as well as having deep tissue and lomi lomi massages and seeing various chiropractors in order to deal with my bulimia and the underlying feelings of never being good enough etc. However, no matter what therapy I tried or which practitioner I saw, all of them made me feel like I could never do this on my own and I always needed something outside of me to change.
After years of seeking support, with changes that were at best temporary or providing momentary relief, the true change and turning point in my life came when I attended a Heart Chakra 1 workshop with Universal Medicine, presented by Serge Benhayon.
The difference with this, relative to all the other therapies I had tried, was that Serge Benhayon was presenting another way of being, based on his own livingness, a self-caring, self-loving way of living, all presented in a gentle non-imposing way.
I started to consider that the true healing for my bulimia and self-worth issues was not about fixing anything outside of myself, but looking within.
I left feeling: “Wow, could it be that I am not just capable of healing my own hurts, but also that I am already everything I have thought I needed to strive to be?”
In his presentations, Serge Benhayon shared simple tools which helped me reconnect with my body – simple techniques like feeling my toes in my shoes, doing the gentle breath meditation and being present with myself throughout my day.
Putting what was presented into practice gave me an opportunity to stop and arrest the momentum I was in – the relentless and punishing drive to ‘improve’ myself based on my belief that I was never good enough. These simple techniques allowed me the space to make different, more loving choices for myself and begin to mark a true end to the cycle of my bulimic behaviour.
Learning to be Self-Loving
Six years after being introduced to the teachings of Universal Medicine, the effects of my bulimia eating disorder and the thoughts that so totally dominated and controlled my life are no longer there. I now take care of and appreciate my body and am able to tune into the tenderness that I now know is innately within us all.
This means I am now eating and exercising in a way that honours my body instead of punishing and pushing it – fully accepting how I am feeling and what my limitations are.
Breaking the cycle of my bulimia, the self-harm and not feeling good enough and dealing with my underlying self-worth issues, has allowed me to love myself and therefore be able to let others in.
I now know that I am the amazing, beautiful and precious woman that I have always been but had lost sight of. And that true beauty comes from within.
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AFTER 7 Years with Universal Medicine | Aimee Edmonds (Age 39)
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This new love of self has allowed me to blossom, unfold and open and be able to share my feelings and myself with my husband, children, friends, family, clients and society. People around me have noticed and commented on how much more of me I am and what a joy I am to have around.
This turning point in my life and this turnaround is nothing short of a miracle. A miracle that Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon made possible through the teachings of the importance of self-care that then allows us to be self-loving.
By Aimee Edmonds, Burnaby, Vancouver
You may also be interested in:
Bulimia and Laxative Dependence: Healing my Old Ways
Before and After: Kylie Connors On Finding Her True Weight
Universal Medicine Helped to Heal Bulimia
694 Comments
Aimee, it’s great that you share this story so that others can see it is possible not only to overcome bulimia but to address the underlying self-worth issues which cause us to go to such extremes. As you say: ‘it is not about fixing anything outside of myself, but looking within’.
The answers to all our wows lie within us…that’s the greatest truth I’ve come to know for myself.
I am so glad I got to read this and that you wrote it! The detail you go to really helps us all to understand what leads another to have bulimia, particularly the type of thoughts that can precede.
The thoughts that entered your mind when you were driving, as a way to not deal with the hurt that your boyfriend had ended the relationship really resonated as I’ve seen how much I’ve thrown myself into work when I have felt rejected. To not feel or acknowledge our hurt we can often have a belief that we’re not enough, believing that if we think this way we can somehow make up for what we’re ‘lacking’. This is such a lie.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are amazing at supporting people to re-connect to who we really are and that beyond everything we think we need to be, there is a huge amount of Love already within us -waiting for us to turn our attention to it. Universal Medicine provide just the right tools so that we can connect with that deeper part of ourselves on a daily basis.
This really goes against the tide of the direction we have been sold is the way to go. To hold the love of ourselves strong – no matter what we are told or what is going on around us is the new way for so many people who are completely transforming their lives and Aimee you are one of them.
Great article Aimee that so many with Bulimia will relate to and benefit from reading…or anyone in fact who may be struggling with self-worth issues.
Its so interesting how the beliefs and ideals that we take on affect our lives. And when you realised that you were already everything you thought you needed to be, that was enough for you to turn the corner…accepting yourself as you are.
So it does make me ponder on how much of our lives we are bombarded with messages to be more or to look different, or to strive for better. It seems very obvious that what the world needs more of is appreciation of who we already are, self-care, self-love and accepting the amazing beings that we already are. So its no surprise that what Universal Medicine presents not only makes sense, but changes so many lives in the most profound way as you have so beautifully shared Aimee.
I love this Marika, “It seems very obvious that what the world needs more of is appreciation of who we already are….” Appreciation was a big game changer for me when I started to choose that instead of self-bashing or putting myself down. What I’ve realised is just how much we know ourselves through and through, but in many cases don’t hold onto this knowing when faced with society, school, family, friends etc telling us, who we are or giving us labels. Then something that we once maybe admired or appreciated about ourselves becomes something we avoid because of how it has been received or not by others.
Beatiful honest blog Aimee, thank you for sharing, I found incredible, how life can be dominated by self worth issues, it is amazing how you shared that building this self worth is so important to be who you truly are and not need to punish yourself everyday, thank you for this inspiring piece.
To write and share about this experience in itself confirms the incredible healing you have been through Aimee. Absolutely beautiful!
Absolutely agree Vicky, your sharing Aimee comes with no holding on to the hurts of the past, just an honest and open sharing that inspires the reader immensely. Awesome.
Thank you Vicky and Katerina, yes writing my story I got to appreciate how much I have healed and have no need to hold onto or identify with any thing that is not me.
Aimee, It makes complete sense to me now that bulimia is due to a lack of self worth, when i was younger a friend of mine used to make herself throw up in the toilets when we would visit the local pub for a night out because she did not want to put weight on, i remember at the time just accepting this as normal as did all our friends, this is an indicator of how much i was in disregard of my own body, getting extremely drunk and smoking all night. to not question her behaviour.
So amazing to read this, learning about the constant conflict you’d been living… your precious heart I did feel and now it shines as clearly as a sunlit diamond. May this blog reach the very many it deserves to.
Not feeling good enough and lack of self-worth are at the base of so many issues, like eating disorders. Thank you Aimee for sharing so openly and honestly about your life and bulimia, this blog is a huge present and very much needed in a time where not feeling good enough is the standard.
It is reported that there is a growing number of young girls who are having eating disorders and they are in fact getting younger, which has surprised me. Does this show that the feeling of not being good enough or having self worth issues is showing its self earlier these days or are we becoming more aware of the signs eating disorders present?
This is an important blog Aimee, as it highlights that there is a way to treat bulimia and other eating disorders effectively, without having the yo yo effect of relapses.
Julie, could it be that young girls are bombarded from every angle in magazines, TV, movies, online even their dolls with messages about how they should look, the most desirable body shape and size, and if they don’t measure up, then what? There then becomes a striving to look a certain way based on outside influences and the lovely, gorgeous little girl leaves behind what she feels, to try and fit in.
The joy in your eyes speaks 1000 words Aimee. So many times have I talked with others who have had an issue, and changed their lives and how they do things as a result but it has not always felt like the underlying issue has been healed. Your photos a proof that this issue has healed and that joy of you as a youngster is back again. Thank you for sharing
Joshua I agree that these photos tell the story… Aimee your photos of you now have you oozing the joy and freedom that you felt as a child.
I absolutely agree Joshua and Sally. The joy in you as a child is just so palpable as is the joy and absolute beauty in your last pictures. This is a true testimony that healing bulimia is possible.
Yes Joshua there is a world of difference between getting rid of the symptoms of an issue, and actually having the underlying issue healed. In the first situation the underlying issue is left lurking around and will out itself again even if it is in another manner, but the second situation means the underlying issue is well and truly out of our system. The joy in Aimee’s ‘after photos’ show what true blessing the fundamental healing of an issue is.
Incredible sharing and honesty Aimee. Self care is nothing short of miraculous, it has the capacity to heal and that healing comes from within, not outside of ourselves. As you mentioned Michael, this is the future program will shape the way bulimia is treated.
Wow, Aimee, this is definitely a true miracle. Thank you heaps for sharing this so open with us for all to learn and benefit from. Lack of self-worth is for so many people a difficult to handle topic in their lives, with which they ‘deal’ with in different ways. And food (be it eating too much, too little, throwing up etc) is a often used method to not feel this. I have had my share in that one and are still aware of how important it is to appreciate myself on a daily basis.
Thank you Aimee for sharing your story. This story should be shared in young women’s magazines, it is so important for young women to read about self worth issues and to see the pictures you’ve shared. Anyone will say but you were beautiful, there was nothing wrong with you and still your struggle with being not good enough was there. I did not have bulimia but struggling with food is something I do recognise. A very inspiring article!
Thank you Aimee. Your story needs to be shared with young and old alike. It is great to hear someone speak honestly about the real issue that lies underneath bulimia.
Wow Aimee – what an incredible story and transformation.
I relate to quite a few of the symptoms you shared even though I have never had an eating disorder. In fact I still push myself, and/or spend long periods alone when I feel that I am not doing well. I hadn’t realised just how much these behaviours are linked to self worth until I read your beautiful post.
Thank you for sharing so openly. It is very much worth appreciating the incredible choices and changes you have made.
What you have talked about here Aimee is an extreme version of what many of us experience every day in smaller ways. Speaking for myself I have never had an eating ‘disorder’ but still think about food most of the time! If it’s not food I am sure there are other obsessions for other people. It is all to avoid feeling the feelings we don’t want to feel.
Very true Rebecca, it is not wanting to feel or accept those feelings that we can use food or any number of distractions or obsessions.
Thank you Aimee your blog gave me a greater understanding of how bulimia can affect peoples lives and become an obsession. that controls their lives The contrast in your pictures is huge, there is vitality and joy that was not there before. Beautiful.
It has been very eye opening in this respect – I had no idea of the lengths people will go, or the dominance that something like Bulimia can have over someone’s life.
That’s awesome Simon, yes it brings more of an understanding to something that is usually not talked about and very much hidden.
Bulimia is such a secret and hidden problem that to burst the bubble, as you have with this blog is like a breath of fresh air. I am wondering just how many women whom I may have known that would have lived with this condition? It’s not something that is generally talked about and shared. Thank you for writing.
Yes great question Rachel, I feel if this was really investigated and looked into, society would be absolutely shocked at how much of an epidemic eating disorders, self harm and abuse and lack of self worth and self loathing is.
Since publishing my blog, I have had many people I have always known message me and sharing their stories as well. Sharing our stories and lives is so very powerful as you never know what another is going through.
Hi Aimee, This blog brings us wisdom on such an important issue. Many valid points but my favourite is ‘However, no matter what therapy I tried or which practitioner I saw, all of them made me feel like I could never do this on my own and I always needed something outside of me to change.’ The key to your healing seems to have come from the re-connection of you to you and what a graceful woman you now show the world.
What an amazing realisation to come to through the thick of bulimia – that you are already everything! Such a compelling and relateable story, the way you unfold it and share your understandings is beautiful Aimee.
Thank you Aimee for sharing the amazing transformation in your life through applying the simple self loving techniques presented by Serge Benhayon. I feel I now have a much greater understanding of how things like bulimia can totally dominate a person’s life and what a prison that is. Your inspirational story deserves to be shared widely to bring understanding and hope to the many who are still out there suffering and the wider public.
what a beautiful, honest and inspiring blog Aimee and why a testimony you are in your shining beauty to the fact that bulimia can be overcome. And not just bulimia but everything that comes from us not caring for and loving ourselves because of lack of self worth. Bringing it back to basics, with simple steps reconnecting to who we are as Universal Medicine presents is the best medicine or therapie in the world!
Absolutely Carolien; what I find incredible about both Aimee’s blog and the others on this site is that they are true testimonies to the fact that bringing it back to basics and simplicity really does work! Instead of running away from the little things they reflect that we should EMBRACE them.
Aimee, one but needs to look at your eyes of the before Universal Medicine to the present to see your light you are projecting to the world now.
Her true beauty is so obvious to see now. I can’t stop feeling inspired from looking into her sparkling eyes. The changes she has made in her life are so amazing.
Not feeling good enough – where does that come from? Could it be that our education system has it all wrong? That we are constantly being encouraged to be more, do more and therefore the underlying belief that we are not good enough prevails? In my case it was binge eating that I used to numb what I was feeling – I had no idea that bulimia existed until a few years ago – what you write here is an amazing story of a life of secrecy and self abuse and one that many young people go through. We truly need to support all our young children to appreciate who they are in full and to eat in a way that is truly nurturing for their bodies.
So beautifully said Carmel: We truly need to support all our young children to appreciate who they are in full and to eat in a way that is truly nurturing for their bodies. Meeting our young people for who they are innately, and not for who we think they should be, or who we adults think they need to ‘become’ would be a great start. Confirming that we are all already enough, just being who we truly are.
Beautiful Carmel and what you have shared is so bringing attention to making life, school, work etc. about people and not about goals of being and doing more. For me the secrecy was a definite form of control and something that I could excel in or be successful in… if I wasn’t reaching the standards or goals that were all around me to reach.
I love this – ‘We truly need to support all our young children to appreciate who they are in full and to eat in a way that is truly nurturing for their bodies.’ :-). Thanks Carmel
Wow Aimee what you have shared here shows so much love and support to return to the truly amazing woman you are. You are an inspiration to many. Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow Aimee, the gorgeous, beautiful woman you are is very inspiring! Thank you for sharing.
Thankyou for your courageous sharing Aimee. An amazing transformation. The ‘not good enough’ stuff appears to be endemic and reactions as to how we cope with this stranglehold over our lives varies. The way through is heaps of self-appreciation and self-love, as you describe. A miracle indeed – so many miracles amongst us all – thanks to Universal Medicine.
What an inspiring reading this was for me. I haven’t been trying to rid myself from food I’ve eaten but there’s definitely a focus on what I eat and an anxiousness around food; what can I eat, what should I eat, what shouldn’t I eat… It was quite a lengthy article but it didn’t feel long to read and I will definitely read it again soon. Thanks Aimee.
Thats great Matts for you to see how there is an ‘unhealthy’ focus on food and what you ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ eat, even if that doesn’t seem as extreme or intense as an eating disorder. Such a great clue for us, is when we start to overly focus and feel a pressure in any area of our lives.
Yes it is a lengthy blog but every-time I thought of leaving something out, I just knew that could be the part that resonates for someone else. Thanks Matts
The difference in your before and after photos is so huge. The fullness that I feel in your eyes in the after photo that says “Here I am” is absolutely stunning. A living proof of what committing to self-loving choices can do. Thank you. You are a great inspiration, Aimee.
Thanks Aimee, bringing such understanding to a disorder is such a healing thing for those with the disorder and those ignorant of it as well.
Very true Kevin!
Aimee, thank you this moving account of your battle through bulimia back to true health. It gave me a deeper understanding of the causes of bulimia and the illness itself. What stays with me most is this: ‘Very early in life the thoughts of ‘not being good enough’ started coming in, becoming more frequent and intense from the age of nine.’ It reveals how poisonous thoughts can be, that self worth issues often begin when we are very young children and for most part remain hidden from parents and teachers. What you share teaches us to always to look beyond destructive behaviour and try to understand what is feeding this behaviour.
As you have shown, it only takes a single or series of disappointments to trigger off feelings of devastation which then lead to the drive to self harm. It’s extraordinary how you have healed your hurts and learned to love yourself again. Your story gives us a rare window into the illness of Bulimia. Thank you for showing so powerfully that the root of all illness lies within ourselves and until we heal our hurts it is impossible to truly heal the body.
The honesty in which you have expressed in this blog Aimee is deeply felt and appreciated.
Thank you for sharing your story of transformation, it is very inspiring.
Wow! Aimee – after reading your amazing story I feel the depth of love that we all have within just fully embracing you and all those who have in the past struggled with buliminia and anorexia, or indeed who are still struggling today. I can barely imagine what it must have been like as I never have had examples of this addiction in my proximity, in school years or ever since.
I agree with the other comments that it is so important to bring to the awareness to all of us the plight of one such has been yourself to enable true truth and wisdom to help one get to the actual root of the real issue that originally creates this behavioural pattern. Thank you for your blog. It is totally awesome that you fully know now that you are already and have always been Love, tenderness and beauty.
Oh Dear! I can relate to all… on this first read what stood out for me was how intense and intricate the whole set up of living a life with bulimia can be…as you well describe it ‘This became a highly sophisticated and organised process as there were so many things to take into account’….all coming from a simple issue of never feeling enough and allowing it to dig in deep, deep down. Beautiful account Aimee. What I feel is sooo amazing is how the incredible intensity you were using to self-harm and unmercifully push yourself all the time, has turned around and become such a powerful source of service and organization as you are doing now. Tender and Lovely you.
Thank you Luz, I can see that when we do not want to feel or can not accept what is really going on around us, then the intensity has to match the tension in our bodies by focusing on something so much, to not give ourselves any moment to stop and feel what is there. Thankfully I gave myself a moment to stop and see another way, even though it was hard and painful to feel many things, it has been absolutely awesomely worth it!
Yes, Aimee, to turn our lives around after such self-harm and abuse takes dedication and commitment. I have healed a panic disorder due to the hard work I have put in to feeling all that having anxiety prevented me from feeling. At times is has been very confronting, at times I have withdrawn into the anxiety to not feel, and at times I have just simply felt what was there to be felt and moved on. Taking the dedication and commitment to NOT feeling and re-directing this into healing is a testament to who we really are deep within, that we have the strength to conquer such a vast array of unhealthy behaviours. We are so much more than our behaviours – we are extraordinary in every way.
Hear hear Robyn – I would love to see this on a billboard – “We are so much more than our behaviours – we are extraordinary in every way.”
Wow Aimee. Super great blog- thank you for sharing. The difference you are now is incredible, it just blows me away. With what you have explained I can see similar patterns in my eating disorder and lack of self worth and not feeling good enough or okay… It makes sense and gave me a different way of thinking about it. There is now that extra bit of room there to wonder what happened to start me Not feeling good enough and address that instead of going straight to the disorder to override what’s going on… P.s Super cute baby pics by the way!
Aimee, what an amazing sharing. Knowing you, and seeing the absolute transformation you’ve made in your life, this is a miracle and thank you for sharing it. And to come to understand that in us, is everything, this is such a revelation and one I’m learning more of each day – there’s nothing to fix, there is such freedom in that and your story is living proof.
What an invaluable and inspiring story Aimee. ‘Not being good enough’ is such a common belief that starts so young. Reading about your process in healing bulimia by coming back to appreciate how truly gorgeous and beautiful you are and always have been, is very touching , thank you.
Wow, Aimee thank you for sharing your story it is inspiring and very honest. It seems that bulimia is something that many may be suffering without anyone really knowing. It is something people may not openly want to talk about or to share. It is awesome that you have shown others who may be suffering in silence that there is another way. Opening up, talking, seeking help is most important and also getting to the course of the issues, working on lack of self-worth and learning to truly live a loving and supportive life is key and to many illnesses. You are inspiring others in so many ways, brilliant blog Aimee. Thank you.
Thank you Chan Ly. I agree, if it was openly talked about that there is more going on underneath the outward self-abusive behaviours so many of us turn to, then things like this would not be hidden.
Its also changing the way we listen to others…. truly listening, as opposed to only hearing what we want to hear. If we need something from another, we will only look for that and not see what is really going on for the other person. This is something I have been working on lately.
Thanks for sharing your story Aimee. When I attended high school in South America it was common for girls to take laxatives and it wasn’t considered bulimic. It’s scary how common eating disorders are around the world and the way young women feel about themselves. Blogs like this are so important as they get to the root of the problem.
Great comment Nikki yes this issuse that millions if not billions of people have with their body and not feeling good enough is a penademic it is uncomprehensible the extent that this lack of self worth that runs the human race. Thank God that there are those great lights that are healing this and leading the way for others to also choose this for themselves.
Nikki what a great comment – it is true common eating disorders are around the world. What scares me too is that also in the world wide web people with eating disorders have their own sides to meet and support themselves in getting deeper in this abuse. We need definitely more people like Aimee who are talking about this topic more openly so that there are more role models who showed a way out of this disorder.