Recently I have been told that a close family member’s death is imminent. Obviously I am absolutely devastated; sad doesn’t even touch the sides, and I cried lots when I heard the news. The first thing I did after this was contact my family and see how they were doing. I showered, got dressed, took things I would need and went to see my family.
On the way I stopped in my car and asked myself why is it that it takes death or a serious accident, illness or disease to bring people and or families together, or even bring them to their knees? When for years, decades or lifetimes we can treat each other like rubbish? And I don’t just mean immediate families.
We have arguments at work, in our relationships, with friends, or even get annoyed or affected by someone in a supermarket or driving past in a car. Why do we let all these things bother us, not to mention the things we do to ourselves, all the meaningless issues we create, dilemmas, dramas, complications and woes; what will I wear today, what food should I eat, should I eat this or that, when really all we are doing is self-indulging. Do we ever stop to feel how this is affecting people?
The event of my family member’s imminent passing made me realise that I’m not going to do this anymore, it is simply not worth it, but rather I am, to my best intent, not going to react or need people to be a certain way, I am not going to spend hours in my head (and that’s a big one for me) debating over things such as food, or what I should or should not do or eat. I am going to allow people to be, I am going to allow myself to observe and learn. If people choose to argue, fight or create their own issues or woes, that is their choice.
But to the best of my intent, as I’m not perfect, I am not going to be a part of what I now realise is not what is truly important in life – I am not going to get involved anymore: I have done this for far too long a time and it’s exhausting and not a supportive or loving way to live, for anybody.
All this also got me thinking about love. Why is it when someone is close to death that we tend let go of all the past, all the issues, all the stuff we have held onto, sometimes for years, the hurt, the times when they may have not chosen to be loving to us, or anything we may have held against them?
Instead, a different mode kicks in and we simply love them for who they are, be it our sister, mum, dad, friend or complete stranger. In this we see all their true divine qualities, in my case an absolute heart of gold, deep care and love for people, a playfulness, a quick and wicked sense of humour, not to mention a no-nonsense person who is deeply tender, caring, sensitive, delicate, beautiful, fragile, precious and divine.
So if we can let go of this in death, why can’t we let go of it in life? Why do we spend our lives not loving people or ourselves, instead seeing ourselves and other people for everything they are not? Rather than the precious, divine and delicate beings we all equally are.
But is death really the end?
Yes I am deeply sad, and yes I am devastated, but this process has made me stop and realise, even though I know the truth of reincarnation and this is not the end for the essence of this person, I was still thinking in a way it was, instead of the truth I’ve now experienced that illness, disease and ultimately death and passing over is actually an opportunity to evolve for everyone involved, and never is it the end.
By Gyl Rae, 39, Teacher, Scotland
Further Reading:
The Missing Link to Understanding Reincarnation
Our choices do influence how we die
Our relationship with life and death
640 Comments
“be it our sister, mum, dad, friend or complete stranger.” No one is a ‘complete stranger’ as we are all One in love.
When we have completed with another and thus have said everything we need to share with them then their passing can be a joyous occasion, especially when they are of the understanding they will return more evolved because of how they were living with Truth and Love in their lives.
Maybe if we viewed life as being upside down and when we pass we are re-turning to our origins, then we would take more responsibility this incarnation?
Yes – if we changed our focus and the angle at which we look at life/existence, then the meaning of it would change unalterably. To know that we are already everything and that we are simply re-learning what this means, death simply being point of evolution offered to support with this learning, then we would appreciate that earth is a school and we are simply students of ourselves and how to live love.
Yes – if we changed our focus and the angle at which we look at life/existence, then the meaning of it would change unalterably. Learning that death is an offered point of evolution so that we may deepen in awareness and understanding – ultimately being able to live the expression of love more, if we so choose, so that we can bring more to others, we wouldn’t be so distraught at the fact of having to pass over.
Great, as me feelith the same, we will eventually be able to be in the joy-full-ness that we are returning with, being more and deeper levels of Love, and thus we have lost our attachment to our physicality.
The more we realise who we are and our full and real potential the less time we give to worrying about death and the more time we give to truly living.
I’m with my elderly parents looking after them a little and I’m so glad I’ve cleared a lot of my hurts around how I was parented so I now can enjoy being with these super lovely people.
There is so so much more to life than we realise, passing over is a massive opportunity for huge healing, the way we live up to our last breath will be the momentum we carry on over with.
Leonne before I even start to read this blog I have to say that I was stopped in my tracks by the absolutely stunning photo that you have taken. The beauty of it literally brought me to an abrupt halt.
Yes, it’s amazing and thanks for drawing attention to it. I feel the butterfly is poised to take off to the new adventure.
Life is going to be super painful if we don’t acknowledge the truth that we all will come back again and again.
Knowing we come back gives life as it is at the moment a magical divine twist.
What a great choice to make, ‘ I am, to my best intent, not going to react or need people to be a certain way,’ instead you chose to let people be, ‘ I am going to allow people to be, I am going to allow myself to observe and learn.’ That’s all we can truly do anyway, so makes sense to surrender to this way of being.
It is a continuous learning to deepen the love for self in order to not react to others in life however the more I deepen, the more I see, accept, observe, appreciate and embrace the constellations that occur to support and assist me to evolve.
Passing-over is definitely an opportunity to evolve and when we celebrate a persons life while they are in the stage of life where we understand that they are well into the pas-over stage of life. So getting together for a celebration we all get a chance to complete with them and share some loving-appreciative stories that generally end up with people crying tears of Joy. Then at the time of them passing there is no need for any other celebration or emotional upheavals as they have already gone and we have fully appreciated their life.
“So if we can let go of this in death, why can’t we let go of it in life? ” Great question. Distractions become exposed for what they simply are….distractions would be one reason for sure.
We have become so dedicated to distracting ourselves from the truth of life that life has simply become one big distraction with no emphasis on the truth.
Reading about you, not feeling that you want to get involved in life’s woes anymore, because the value of life has become more clear, is something that I admire.
“If people choose to argue, fight or create their own issues or woes, that is their choice.” It is great to learn to let people make their own choices and not feel responsible for that because it is so easy to take things on when people are in their issues as if it is our fault they don’t come out of it. And then the next thing is to not judge them but just love them like you would anyone else. It feels really lovely in your body to do this.
Exactly, if people choose to argue and fight etcetera, that is their choice; it helps if we can just observe and give them space to be rather than have investments of how we want them to be.
When we return to feeling the space that we all fundamentally are, it’s much easier to allow others the space to be whoever it is that they are choosing to be in that moment, knowing that they too will return to be the space that we all are.
We know very little about death and dying apart from the physical aspects of the process and the recording of countless case studies. However that still leaves very large gaps in our understanding.
We can so often be clouded by the devastation and overwhelm of grief that comes with the passing of a loved one. When we are offered an insight into the sharing in this blog we are giving ourselves the understanding that life is part of a cycle and the rebirth is the opportunity to heal and return.
What a gift it is to being given the opportunity to do it all over again, and every time the same situation comes up we can look at it from a different angle and act accordingly by learning from a situation instead of cementing in the behaviour for lifetimes.
There is no ‘end’ but a completion and the opportunity to return afresh.
We can be so absorbed by life that we forget what life is actually about: first and foremost about evolving. Learning to be more love and experience where we are not there yet and change that. We are in our essence all love and all the same and we are here together to work and learn together.
Great point why do we wait to forgive, be understanding of how people are once they die, but we do not do this in life. This does not mean we need to tolerate abuse, it just means that we see each other for who we really are not the issues and protections but under these layers where our essence and truth resides. See this in others in life and there are no regrets with death.
What you are describing here Samantha is living without holding on to hurts. This gives us the opportunity to meet the other fresh and without whatever they have done or said in the past.
So much is on offer when someone around us is dying, be it family or friend or just someone we know. So much healing is their for all involved, we get to see what really matters in life and our hearts though very sad open up to see the loved one in their true light and the qualities of who they are as a human being, the dying process is a very sacred time, as one cycle ends and another cycle begins.
When someone close to us dies we are reminded that life is all about community, community comes together often when there is a death – sad we don’t live everyday in such a unified way.
People can evolve enormously in the last weeks, months or even years of their life but that doesn’t seem to be acknowledged very often from what I can see.
‘Meaningless issues’ are awesome words to bring together. What a waste of time to be careless in our thoughts and in our actions. How many lives spent on this earth do we need with all the war, corruption, illness and struggle, before the utmost in absolute responsibility is realised.
”passing over is actually an opportunity to evolve for everyone involved, and never is it the end.”
With that said, we can feel that the urgency to love is always there, that it has no end.. and that we can heal in any minute of our day. Thank you Gyl for making it so promptly known that we have our every day movement to change the All (our world, humanity).
Recently a close friend has been diagnosed with cancer. I will visit him soon for the first time in years and it will be great to connect with him.
“passing over is actually an opportunity to evolve for everyone involved, and never is it the end.” A beautiful relaisation that passing over is another phase of our evolutionary cycle and letting go of hurts and issues is a great way to prepare for the next round.
I love what you are presenting Gyl as it is often the case that we drop the drama and the dislikes with each other when we are met with a calamity or with an impending or sudden death. However, I wonder is this seeded in truth or in just being ‘nice’ or ‘good’ as this is what we should be behaving like in these times? Is evolution truly taking place in this change? Are we really open to resolving and healing what has kept us from connecting in love, or open to being honest about how our hurts have affected our behaviours so that we have missed out on many opportunities to evolve together and deepen our relationship and understanding to all that we are and are here to live together? I agree, there is much preciousness and sacredness for us yet to live together.
… ‘passing over is actually an opportunity to evolve for everyone involved, and never is it the end.’ True Gyl and we can let emotions run this process or choose to be with ourselves and feel what this process of dying is really about , to feel the blessing it can be for all when someone is completing their life on earth, their cycle.
I agree – we are missing out when emotions are running the process. In addition, denial and ignoring the most important issues can also make us miss out on understanding what is happening.
What you say here is so important to us all: ”passing over is actually an opportunity to evolve for everyone involved, and never is it the end.” It leaves you to feel what is and what is not, and to appreciate and move on.
When we celebrate life’s preciousness we truly live at last and connect to a truth that never dies. By valuing what we represent we get to see there’s an amazing grandness to you and me.
I have had some relatives and friends die without feeling any devastation at all. In fact two of them felt like blessings. Also I felt complete as I had not held back in expressing my love and appreciation to them in the preceding years. Death is an inevitable part of life and yes we might miss the person differing amounts or feel some sadness depending on our relationship with them and the circumstances of their passing but it can also be a joyous event.
Yes, once we understand that then a notice of another person’s death becomes a lot less shocking.
The teachings of incarnation and reincarnation are well known throughout the world in different countries and religions. The understanding of reincarnation and adoption of all that goes with it into my life has changed not only how I will die, but how I live now.
There is a far greater depth to the purpose of life when we understand that our Soul, that which gives life to our bodies never dies, and in fact is something we can have a relationship with now and in every part of our living day.